urban_mom Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 My 9.5 year old daughter is starting to really mature physically. She has pretty visible breast buds at this point and I've seen her sort of rubbing them (as if they're uncomfortable) a few times. She's also really emotional all of a sudden and if she doesn't shower daily her hair looks greasy already! Very weird to me as I was a super late bloomer in all of those areas. Anyway, I'm planning on taking her for a little mom/daughter date this weekend and having a talk with her about her body including telling her about menstruation. I'm also going to offer to buy her a few "bras" to help her be more comfortable. However, I'd rather start with the most comfortable option out there for bras. Like a really soft but thick undershirt/camisole or something...I just hate the idea of all those uncomfortable straps and elastics if we can avoid it. But she's really tall for her age and looks older anyway and people are starting to notice so I want to get her something to wear before someone says something to her or anything! So, my question is if anyone has any suggestions on comfortable first bras or other options available. Also, any general tips on how you talked to your daughter about it all? I want it to be casual and not too dramatic. We're pretty comfortable with bodies around here so I don't want to make it too dramatic. I'm thinking of getting her the "Care and Keeping of You" book from the American Girl series as I've heard great things about it. Any tips???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I wear camisoles a lot of the time, and have found nice ones at target that are essentially a long sports bra. I also saw really, really cute little girl training-bras/short camis at K-mart that weren't padded but would provide a little extra coverage/protection. My 8 yr old wanted to get one because it had a frog on it :), but she's likely to be a late bloomer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 We used that book, and it was very helpful. As far as bras, Target has some very comfortable ones that are sort of sporty. They are like a 3 inch(?) band with straps, and they hold and hold up very well, iykwim. You might want to bring some "products" with you for a little show and tell, too. Or not. YMMV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kohlby Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 My oldest is a boy, who is 9.5 years old so no advice about girls other than I've heard that the American Girl book, The care and Keeping of You, is really good for girls 9-12. As for bras, I'm going to answer as a very small chested adult. Kmart sells these Hanes bras that are soft and comfy, but real bras. If she's large enough, those work great. The smallest size is an XS though, which I'm now too small for. (I'm a nursing mum!) If she's around a 32/34 AA/A then it may be perfect for her. If she's not ready for a real bra, I loved sports bras for quite a while. The problem with most of the ones I've seen in the girl's department is that they're too thin. (I have to shop for bras in the kids department, though the k-mart ones are in the adults). You want something thick enough that she won't be self-concious about her nipples poking out. The real sports bras worked best for me. (Plus I could throw over a tanktop in the summer and not worry if the straps showed. I've always hated it if my regular bra straps showed but a sports bra looks like tank top straps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 The American Girl book is really great! All the facts, no s*x, and even stuff like menstruation is presented alongside stuff about body odor and general hygiene. No mystery, no drama. I know my DD, and I knew she wouldn't feel comfortable with a big talk, so I gave her the book and suggested that she look through it and ask me if she had any questions. From time to time, she had a specific question, so we talked more. As for bras, Kohl's has some nice ones that are soft and more like a crop top than a bra. Like a short camisole. A good choice for tweens, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in MD Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 We recently bought some undershirt/t-shirts for dd that seem to be comfortable. We got them at Kohls in the girl's department - I'm pretty sure they are Hanes. Also, I've seen lots of recommendations for the American Girl book, but what to do if your dd is a tomboy? I don't think she'll like anything with AG in the title :) Any other suggestions? Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammyw Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 My daughter loves the Care and Keeping of You book! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urban_mom Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 Thanks everyone! I'm thinking sports bra-ish thing as well and my sister suggested these. I think I'll buy the book with her tomorrow at Barnes and Noble and just have a little talk over hot chocolate. I think if I keep it light and airy she won't be too embarassed. We talk about lots of stuff so I'm not too worried about her being too embarassed....i just want to do it right. I know too many friends who have said their moms never really talked to them about it and it made them feel like the subject was taboo, (including myself). So, I just want to get it all started off with an attitude of "we talk about everything!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckles Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 We have the Care and Keeping of You. It is a great resource for our DD's. We started the girls out with padded camisoles, and now we are into full blown coverage. It's getting expensive. We never really made a huge deal about anything, but my girls have known about Menstruation since they were much younger. It could be the nurse in me, but we talk about everything pretty matter of fact around here. I hope you have a nice mother daughter time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 We recently bought some undershirt/t-shirts for dd that seem to be comfortable. We got them at Kohls in the girl's department - I'm pretty sure they are Hanes. Also, I've seen lots of recommendations for the American Girl book, but what to do if your dd is a tomboy? I don't think she'll like anything with AG in the title :) Any other suggestions? Thanks! LOL, assure her that it has nothing to do with dolls. It really is an excellent book and should appeal to tomboys and girly-girls both. There's another one, very similar, called The Body Book, by Kelli someone (Dunham, I think), and it's very good too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastianCat Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I agree that The Care and Keeping of You isn't too "girly" for a tomboy. We own the book but I haven't shared it with my 8.5 year old DD yet. I'm waiting until she's 9-ish to give her the book, but I think it's an excellent resource. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I'd like to offer an alternate view of "The Care and Keeping of You." Let me preface this by saying that I am not *at all* shy or bothered by openly talking about anatomy, puberty, and sex. At least one of the children's books I own contains drawings of male and female anatomy, and I have zero problem with that. However, I feel that the drawings in "The Care and Keeping of You" are unnecessarily graphic. I don't think children at that age need to see a detailed cartoon of exactly how tampons are inserted, or drawings of the various shapes their breasts may grow into. I realize that this is a personal preference on my part; I just wanted to put that information out there for anyone who, like me, might be bothered by the pictures. Good luck, OP! :) I'm sure it will go fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 We too purchased The Care and Keeping of You and were pleased with it even though my daughter was not a girly-girl. Another book I recommend is It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) by Robie H. Harris. You'll want to pre-read this one. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonermomma Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 We buy all of my 10 yo dd's bras at JCPenney. They are cotton and stretchy, but they work. They are the only kind she likes and will wear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2girls4us Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 We found these cami-bras at Old Navy. They have washed really well and she says that they are comfortable. http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=65040&vid=1&pid=253831002 We also have some that are similar from Target. We live in a warm climate and wear lots of tank tops so its nice to have the really thin straps (she doesn't like them to show at all). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 We are not an American Girl-y family, not a bit, but I still recommend The Care and Keeping of You as an initial resource to help better frame questions and dispel a bit of the fear of the unknown. It does a good job of keeping a calm, matter-of-fact tone without downplaying how huge it is to the child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Thanks everyone! I'm thinking sports bra-ish thing as well and my sister suggested these. I think I'll buy the book with her tomorrow at Barnes and Noble and just have a little talk over hot chocolate. I think if I keep it light and airy she won't be too embarassed. We talk about lots of stuff so I'm not too worried about her being too embarassed....i just want to do it right. I know too many friends who have said their moms never really talked to them about it and it made them feel like the subject was taboo, (including myself). So, I just want to get it all started off with an attitude of "we talk about everything!" I don't have a daughter, but I do have an idea! In the vein of keeping it "light and airy" maybe you could go to B&N for hot chocolate and let her pick out a book or two while you pick up The Care and Keeping of You (call ahead to make sure they have it in stock!) As an avid reader and easily embarrassed 9-year-old I would have appreciated there being something else to focus on from the experience beyond the topic at hand. "Ick, we had to talk about that stuff, but at least I got these two awesome books!" :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anabelneri Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Yet another vote for the Care & Keeping of You... dd is 9.5 and loved picking bras this summer. She wears them all the time; we got them at Target, and I let her pick. Another book I just found is "Everything a Girl Needs to Know About Her Periods". It is one of my favorites so far, because it addresses things that girls experience during their cycles that other books generally don't mention, like fluid/discharge around ovulation, chest tenderness, and even the various fluctuating hormones. It also talks about the emotions common during the different parts of the cycle, and reasons why cycles might be longer or shorter. It's fine for the younger teen or pre-teen, unlike "Cycle Savvy" which has some of the same info but goes more into depth about sex, STDs, etc. Dd also really likes is "Sweet Secrets: Stories of Menstruation". It has a lot of different 1st-period stories from a diverse group of women. It's a lovely little book. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Care and Keeping of You! I bought it for Rebecca at about 8.5 and it's discreetly answered most of her questions. She has asked me for a little more info on certain things, and I told her she can talk to me any time. I honestly DID want her comfortable with the idea of tampons right from the start as she's a competitive gymnast. However, she's nowhere near developing anything, so no bras or camis yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom2011 Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 n/m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 My oldest is a boy, who is 9.5 years old so no advice about girls other than I've heard that the American Girl book, The care and Keeping of You, is really good for girls 9-12. As for bras, I'm going to answer as a very small chested adult. Kmart sells these Hanes bras that are soft and comfy, but real bras. If she's large enough, those work great. The smallest size is an XS though, which I'm now too small for. (I'm a nursing mum!) If she's around a 32/34 AA/A then it may be perfect for her. If she's not ready for a real bra, I loved sports bras for quite a while. The problem with most of the ones I've seen in the girl's department is that they're too thin. (I have to shop for bras in the kids department, though the k-mart ones are in the adults). You want something thick enough that she won't be self-concious about her nipples poking out. The real sports bras worked best for me. (Plus I could throw over a tanktop in the summer and not worry if the straps showed. I've always hated it if my regular bra straps showed but a sports bra looks like tank top straps. I gave my daughter The Care and Keeping of You when she was about 10. I totally recommend this book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cajunrose Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 Reading this thread with interest. My 9.5 year old DD is in the same boat. She cries at the drop of a hat right now, she has BO, buds (although, they come and go right now) and the whole 9 yards. Geeze...i'm not ready for this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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