AndyJoy Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 When I was a senior in high school, many of my classmates and I would ponder how we were old enough to vote and be drafted, but needed permission to use the bathroom. Seriously! When I taught middle school (6-8) I had the most liberal bathroom policy of any of the teachers. This was a private school with no school-wide policy, so each teacher made his/her own. Other teachers warned me that I would be taken advantage of and said the kids would hide out in the bathroom to skip class and/or go so often that my lessons would be interrupted. I remembered being a conscientious student and being unfairly shamed for needing to take care of basic human needs! I decided to take a chance and let them demonstrate whether they could be self-regulating. I asked them to do their best to not leave during my lecture unless it was an emergency, but during work time they were free to come and go as necessary. My 11-year-old 6th graders were dumbfounded. The were so used to being treated like little kids and having to get a pass, go one at a time, etc. that they didn't believe me at first. Even the 7th/8th graders were surprised and often forgot and asked permission anyway. For the first few weeks, I did have about 5 students who spent a bit too much time in the bathroom and got report from another teacher (with an I-told-you-so look) that two of my 6th graders were playing in the water fountain. I very dispassionately told those two that I was disappointed that they had forgotten to act like they were in middle school rather than elementary and told them they couldn't leave the room together for a while. After a month the novelty wore off and going to the bathroom unobtrusively and coming right back just became the normal way. I think it was less of a distraction to my lessons to just have them take care of business without consulting me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 My dh still calls his 1st grade teacher something that rhymes with witch bc he desperately had to go potty and she told him no. He did potty frequently, but so what? Some kids just have plumbing like that. Turns out a week later he was dx with type 1 diabetes. And yeah, those kids carry those memories forevèr and he hated that teacher ever after for it. To be clear, yes he wet his pants. All over his seat and the floor and books underneath. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 This thread reminds me of when I was in 3rd grade and my teacher (with whom I did not get along) taught us the "proper" terms "urinate" and "bowel movement." The next time I asked to use the washroom, the teacher demanded (in front of the class) to know exactly what I wanted to do in there - i.e., "urinate" or "have a bowel movement"? Taken aback, I said, "I want to go to the john!" She tried to be funny: "Do you want to go to the "Jane"? At this point I mouthed off a little. Since when is it anyone's business what my private parts are going to be busy doing in the restroom???? Even at 8 that felt like too much. So I can understand your daughter's frustration. WHY should she have to explain what she's going to do in the toilet? It's not as if providing an explanation is going to make any difference. If she were planning to smoke a joint in there, she could whisper "I need to attend to feminine hygiene" and still go smoke a joint. :glare: The teacher put her in an uncomfortable situation where she would be embarrassed no matter what she did. Naturally she felt irritated. My mom had a teacher in the 1960s who had her elementary students hold up 1 or 2 fingers to indicate why they needed the restroom, presumably so she could monitor whether they had been gone too long. Someone should have coined TMI back then!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Seriously! When I taught middle school (6-8) I had the most liberal bathroom policy of any of the teachers. This was a private school with no school-wide policy, so each teacher made his/her own. Other teachers warned me that I would be taken advantage of and said the kids would hide out in the bathroom to skip class and/or go so often that my lessons would be interrupted. I remembered being a conscientious student and being unfairly shamed for needing to take care of basic human needs! I decided to take a chance and let them demonstrate whether they could be self-regulating. I asked them to do their best to not leave during my lecture unless it was an emergency, but during work time they were free to come and go as necessary. My 11-year-old 6th graders were dumbfounded. The were so used to being treated like little kids and having to get a pass, go one at a time, etc. that they didn't believe me at first. Even the 7th/8th graders were surprised and often forgot and asked permission anyway. For the first few weeks, I did have about 5 students who spent a bit too much time in the bathroom and got report from another teacher (with an I-told-you-so look) that two of my 6th graders were playing in the water fountain. I very dispassionately told those two that I was disappointed that they had forgotten to act like they were in middle school rather than elementary and told them they couldn't leave the room together for a while. After a month the novelty wore off and going to the bathroom unobtrusively and coming right back just became the normal way. I think it was less of a distraction to my lessons to just have them take care of business without consulting me! That's what I found, too-and I was teaching K-6. My classes weren't so big that I didn't see them leave and know where they were going. I think in my case it was because I'd previously taught in preschool where we always had a bathroom in the room-so I was used to the kids just doing what they needed to do without bothering me, and therefore never really worried about setting up a policy beyond "If you need to go, go". In general, the younger ones accepted it from day 1, with no issues whatsoever, the older ones took a little while to get used to not having to ask, and they didn't abuse the situation. The hardest part about TEACHING for me was not having breaks to go to the bathroom myself-I certainly wasn't going to ask 5-13 yr olds to deal with it, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSUBuckeye Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 At our school, there is an unspoken rule that when a student walks out to use the bathroom, and returns in a reasonable amount of time, we can't punish them if they asked us for a pass and were denied. The most I could do as a teacher is say, "Next time, you really need to get a pass." Also, as a teacher, I don't want to get in trouble from any angle, so in future circumstances I would be even quicker to attend to signing them a pass to the bathroom. Yes, it might earn her a detention or a demerit in the moment, but those should and will get erased as soon as the situation is examined by administrators. From now on, advise her to leave class in that situation. Same thing goes for if she's going to throw up, has a bloody nose, etc. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission when it comes to normal bodily functions. The rules are made for the bad kids who wander the halls, but sometimes the school rules lose sight of helping out the students who are doing everything they're supposed to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 So my mom is a little stubborn and crazy. When I was in 1st grade I had a teacher refuse to let me use the bathroom and I had an accident. I hid the accident because I thought I'd be in more trouble and they called my mom and told me I would have to miss a recess for not being more responsible. My mom, in her nicest, most professional, member of the PTA who chaired two fundraisers a year for them, told them to stuff it. I was 6 and they were adults and to act like it. In front of the principal, nurse, and teacher she told me that I didn't have to listen to anyone who was refusing me the right to use the bathroom when I needed to go. If I got up and walked out of the classroom that would be fine with her. When the teacher insisted I still miss a recess, my mom told the teacher she would pick me up for lunch/recess every day until the end of the year and to stop being a bully and embarrassing herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 So my mom is a little stubborn and crazy. When I was in 1st grade I had a teacher refuse to let me use the bathroom and I had an accident. I hid the accident because I thought I'd be in more trouble and they called my mom and told me I would have to miss a recess for not being more responsible. My mom, in her nicest, most professional, member of the PTA who chaired two fundraisers a year for them, told them to stuff it. I was 6 and they were adults and to act like it. In front of the principal, nurse, and teacher she told me that I didn't have to listen to anyone who was refusing me the right to use the bathroom when I needed to go. If I got up and walked out of the classroom that would be fine with her. When the teacher insisted I still miss a recess, my mom told the teacher she would pick me up for lunch/recess every day until the end of the year and to stop being a bully and embarrassing herself. Way to go mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 (edited) Parrothead- "This I do agree with. I was in high school in the early 80s. It was so bad in the bathrooms that if the door to the bathroom was unlocked, one would be lucky if there was a door on the stall and TP available to use. I learned rather quickly not to use the facilities at all during school. " yeah, my experience, too. We went to an information meeting last weekend for a performing arts High School my Jr. High student wants to audition for -for 9th grade. Anyways, I had to use the restroom while there, and I walked into the nicest, cleanest public school restroom I have ever been in. I called my husband and said "sold!" To me, it spoke of students who respect their school and of staff that respected the students. when I was in Jr. high and High school, I tried my best to not use the restrooms and waited till I got home, but sometimes you couldn't avoid it. The bathrooms of my experience were dirty, usually had water on the floor, stall doors missing, trash everywhere and those giant spit wads on the ceiling and no tp. Edited October 19, 2012 by Hen Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peachskittles Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 I once did puke on my desk. It was 5th grade. I ate Trix for breakfast. You can imagine what that looked like. :lol: I wonder what the potty protocol is in prisons. While you give up a lot of privacy (obviously) in prison, you have free access to using the bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 When my dad worked as a cashier at WalMart a few years ago, they tried these bathroom tricks with their cashiers. He responded, "I'll pee when I need to pee. You get to decide if I pee in the urinal, or on the floor at my checkout station." They let him go in the urinal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supertechmom Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 Gosh! Call the Dept of Ed in your state and ask for the attorney's office. They all have their own attorney. Speak to him that there are new rules in place in your school concerning the use of the bathroom and that children can being denied access to the bathroom. They will take care of it pretty quickly especially if you have anything in writing like on syllabus or on class policies or such.It was even written that due to new state laws, bathroom use would be at the discretion of the teachers now. When the attorney picked himself up from laughing so hard, he said he would take care of it and it would be handled before the day was out. I wouldn't waste my time with the teacher or the principle. Anyone who thinks they can regulate bathroom "privileges" are idiots that you just don't waste your time with. The lawyer and I also went into details about how as a mother I would be hauled up on charges for this type of behavior, how prisoners are granted this right and I do believe we discussed the Geneva convention guarantees pows this right even! Teachers and principles in a local school are way out of line and need some redirection from the top. DOnt' bother to work it out with them.. They will only give excuses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoLuRu Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 When my dad worked as a cashier at WalMart a few years ago, they tried these bathroom tricks with their cashiers. He responded, "I'll pee when I need to pee. You get to decide if I pee in the urinal, or on the floor at my checkout station." They let him go in the urinal. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 I spent over 20 minutes on the phone with the teacher this morning. The first thing she did was apologize for not understanding the severity of the issue. I appreciated the apology, but later in the conversation I reminded her that I don't believe anyone should be denied the right to use the bathroom when necessary and that it wasn't the severity that was at issue; it was the school's new policy on bathroom use. The teacher explained to me why this (as well as many other new rules) have gone into effect and admitted to me that many students have complained about them. She also said she has taught my dd for three years and hopes that my dd knows that she is a reasonable person. I told the teacher that this incident was, for my dd, sort of the proverbial straw and that my dd feels that the school this year is a completely different place, one where teachers are ever-vigilant for possible rule infractions and seem to be particularly inflexible and devoid of common sense. I told her that dd told me last night that she now hates being at school. The teacher told me that if dd speaks to her privately about a need to go to the bathroom, she will accommodate it. Apparently part of the problem was that after dd was told no, she said very loudly, "I have to change my tampon!" and the teacher felt that this was my dd's attempt to embarrass the her and so she didn't respond in an understanding manner. Dd did tell me that she had said this and that she did have an attitude with the teacher. I think that the teacher feels constrained by the school's new rules and, as I mentioned, felt that my dd was trying to embarrass her. I'm still angry about the situation but am not so much mad at the teacher anymore. The teacher did promise me that she would speak with other teachers about this rule and their handling of it, and she said that it is something that is under review anyway because so many students have complained about it. She also told me that she used to allow students to just take a bathroom pass and go but that it ended up that this policy was being abused. I know that this is part of a larger issue with the school being lax for several years and suddenly realizing that they had lost control over having a stable environment, hence this year's flurry of new rules. Tara Your DD was reporting the facts, and risking her own embarrassment, not the teacher's. And any attitude was IMO very well deserved. I would not hold the attitude against my kid, at all. The only one who has anything to apologize for is the teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 I wonder what the potty protocol is in prisons. Exposed toilet in the cell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 Yeah, seriously. It was way more chill back then. I once skipped an entire day and ran off with a new boyfriend I had met. I walked about two miles, and no one saw me, nor did anyone call my parents. So yeah, the bathroom would have been easy. I guess that must depend on where you were. I went to high school (for as much as I went) in a nice suburban area in the late 1970s. The bathrooms were kept locked for certain periods of the day. We had to carry our student ID cards at all times. There was a chain link fence around the campus with guards posted at each gate, and we had to show our IDs whenever we left for any reason. There were various stickers that could be affixed to the cards to show you had permission for various things, like leaving campus for lunch. I quit in the middle of my junior year and went directly to the community college, where we were treated like human beings and could go to the bathroom whenever we wanted. Such luxury! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 I was puked on in 6th grade. My best friend's desk was next to me, she felt ill, but couldn't go to the bathroom because it wasn't "time". Lets just say everyone still remembered that scene at our graduation. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 When the teacher insisted I still miss a recess, my mom told the teacher she would pick me up for lunch/recess every day until the end of the year and to stop being a bully and embarrassing herself. :hurray::hurray::hurray: for your mom! I'll bet you felt about a thousand feet tall after that and never doubted that your mom had your back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.