Denisemomof4 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 (edited) ETA: you ladies got me thinking. Dh and I have decided that we are going to speak with the police this weekend. I want to at the very east file a report to HOPEFULLY get her to think twice about any further harassment or retalliation. I can NOT understand how this monster could run story time at the library. I don't get it! she is SO NASTY!!!!! Today the girls and I went for a walk. She passed us on the road and was nasty to me, as usual. I finally said something and I was not nice. I have been gracious for 16 years and she is STILL spewing venom at me every chance she gets! My words were few but I told her she has alwasy been nasty to us since the day we bought our home 16 years ago, and she could......... Well, you know. Dd9 was VERY upset! she told the old hag that "we are out here enjoying our personal time so leave us alone.". I was so proud of her! My kids have NEVER spoken to an adult this way before. I normally wouldn't allow this but MY RADish was NOT going to sit by again and watch her mom get bullied!!!! All of my kids have been afraid of this monster, and when dd12 was very young, Hag Face sped through a mud puddle and splashed mud all over my little girl. I have put up with harrassment, trespassing, verbal abuse, theft, etc. For 16 years. I finally said something that time because I was LIVID, told her to get the you-know-what away from us, that she she was scaring my dd. I will kick myself for the rest of my life for not calling the police over that. well, Monster Hag was making her rounds to all the neighbors. I saw on the way home from our walk and again when I drove out. And she even flipped me off!!!!! Of course this is GREAT neighborhood gossip :glare: and I will NOT feed into it. I will continue to smile and wave and move along with everyone but her. I am DONE pasting on a phony smile with her. monster Hag made some comment before we parted ways and dd9 swears she said she will drive us out. she is THAT unstable, for someone to basically tell you to LEAVE THEM ALONE and now this? Now I worry about what she will do. I fear poisoned meat for the dogs, poisoned apples for the horses, CPS showing up at my door, something. But dh and I know for certain she WILL retalliate. When we walked away and dd9 started to say something else, I put my arm around her and told her not to mess with crazy. I really have only stood up for myself or the kids TWICE and now all h@ll breaks out. I really, really, really hope I can catch her doing something Illegal because I will NOT hesitate to press charges. People are NUTS!!! Edited September 25, 2012 by Denisemomof4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry you have to deal with that awful woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I'm so sorry you have to deal with her. Hopefully by your standing up to her, she'll back off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 You need a paper trail, now. Police report. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 :grouphug: Have you considered cameras in various strategic locations? Then you could possibly know if she comes onto your property and you would have proof if it became necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 You need a paper trail, now. Police report. I really needed to do that years ago. I wanted peace in the neighborhood. I truly had reasons to call the police before. But this time I really don't, do I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 :grouphug: Have you considered cameras in various strategic locations? Then you could possibly know if she comes onto your property and you would have proof if it became necessary. I really want one at the barn, some in the woods, then in or on the house. Dh and I have been looking into it. Guess it probably won't wait until next spring. I am SO tired of her upsetting my kids! But I am having a hard time letting this go. I usually only see her a handful of times each year. Apparently she is not working a day job right now. Lucky us.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I really needed to do that years ago. I wanted peace in the neighborhood. I truly had reasons to call the police before. But this time I really don't, do I? I am not sure, but at least it would help defend in case of a CPS report. I would explain to the police, unless it is possible your comment to her is a cause for concern. I would def get cameras. She sounds disturbed. :(.Can you alert the library? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 I am not sure, but at least it would help defend in case of a CPS report. I would explain to the police, unless it is possible your comment to her is a cause for concern. I would def get cameras. She sounds disturbed. :(.Can you alert the library? I don't think my comment is anything I should be concerned about. I will definitely say something at the library if she is inappropriate to us there (she has been before and as usual I let it go). But to do so right now would only add fuel to the fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I'm sorry you're dealing w/this :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 What is her problem with you, Denise? How did it all start? I read your posts whenever I see them, and I don't remember any psycho neighbor posts from you. She sounds vile! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 What is her problem with you, Denise? How did it all start? I read your posts whenever I see them, and I don't remember any psycho neighbor posts from you. She sounds vile! I almos never see her but she has always been awful! I am seeing her more recently because the girls qnd I go for walks and she apparently isn't working her day job. I am telling you, THE DAY we moved into this house she had the MEANEST look on her face. She has ALWAYS been awful! I have tried with her through the years. I have suggested we go to lunch, took her out to breakfast, baked home goods for her, brought over a pan of lasagna when her husband was in the hospital. She has always been harsh and unpleasant. But I truly think all her issues stem from jealousy. In our tiny neighborhood, not one woman has ever been a SAHM. She made a comment to me over a decade ago about how I should get a job so I have something in my life.:001_huh: she has worked two jobs for many years, and her dh was a raging alcoholic who couldn't hold down any job. The only thing I can think of is she is jealous that I have such an "easy" life, but she had her mean scowl ALWAYS, even before she knew anything about me. The only thing I've ever done wrong through the years was not calling the police on them when I should have. I really am worried about what she will do. Even dh, who always looks on the bright side of everything, is certain this monster WILL do something. We get to sit and wait to see what.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I'm sorry :( You need to find a way to set her up and get her good. Bwa ha ha ha haaa I'll have to think about how. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I second the suggestion for cameras... really, she sounds crazy.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Some people are just nasty, it doesn't stem from anything more than that. You are a better woman than I because I would not have let it go for so many years without calling the cops or giving her a piece of my mind. Cameras for sure. Document document document. Keep your phone handy if it has video recording capabilities, or your camera. As soon as you see her pull it out, if she opens her mouth to you, or tries to do something interupt her to say "I am recording this". Her continueing to do or say anything else is the same as agreeing to being recorded. I recommend saying you are recording so that if you use it as evidence she can't claim entrapment. Most likely just indicating you are recording should send her on her way without further ado. Be mindful too of something I learned int eh city. If she stands on her own lawn she can spew all the hate etc she wants and the police will do nothing. We had a neighbor that would utter what I considered borderline death threats, insults at my kids etc and police said as long as she stayed on her own property they could do nothing beyond cite her for disordly conduct, which they would not do without catching her in the act. If she left her own property though like the day she stood in front of my house saying things to us, it is a different story. This is where documenting and recording everything is helpful. Many times the crazy woman would say things to us in front of our house tell the cops she was on her own property, they could not determine who was lieing so nothing would come of the calls I made to them, other than them telling her each time to leave us alone. The first time she merely grunts in your direction at the library I would be reporting it along with the rest of teh information. You could say to the manager you wanted this to remain a private issue between you and the crazy but since she is bringing it to the library you had no choice but to bring it up. that prevents it from becoming a gossipy thing that you tattled to her boss etc. There seems to always be a few crazies around. I have 2 on my street that mostly leave me alone, instead they try to get their kids to do their dirty work for them. The one from back in the city was still the worst one. I say we find some little island and dump all the crazies there. Like how australia started only crazier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I almos never see her but she has always been awful! I am seeing her more recently because the girls qnd I go for walks and she apparently isn't working her day job. I am telling you, THE DAY we moved into this house she had the MEANEST look on her face. She has ALWAYS been awful! I have tried with her through the years. I have suggested we go to lunch, took her out to breakfast, baked home goods for her, brought over a pan of lasagna when her husband was in the hospital. She has always been harsh and unpleasant. But I truly think all her issues stem from jealousy. In our tiny neighborhood, not one woman has ever been a SAHM. She made a comment to me over a decade ago about how I should get a job so I have something in my life.:001_huh: she has worked two jobs for many years, and her dh was a raging alcoholic who couldn't hold down any job. The only thing I can think of is she is jealous that I have such an "easy" life, but she had her mean scowl ALWAYS, even before she knew anything about me. The only thing I've ever done wrong through the years was not calling the police on them when I should have. I really am worried about what she will do. Even dh, who always looks on the bright side of everything, is certain this monster WILL do something. We get to sit and wait to see what.:glare: Is she like this with the other neighbors, or just you? Some people are mean and unhappy no matter what. It sounds like you tried. I'd invite you to move to my neighborhood, but we're not zoned for livestock. I'd be nice to you -- especially if you baked for me :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 Some people are just nasty, it doesn't stem from anything more than that. You are a better woman than I because I would not have let it go for so many years without calling the cops or giving her a piece of my mind. Cameras for sure. Document document document. Keep your phone handy if it has video recording capabilities, or your camera. As soon as you see her pull it out, if she opens her mouth to you, or tries to do something interupt her to say "I am recording this". Her continueing to do or say anything else is the same as agreeing to being recorded. I recommend saying you are recording so that if you use it as evidence she can't claim entrapment. Most likely just indicating you are recording should send her on her way without further ado. Be mindful too of something I learned int eh city. If she stands on her own lawn she can spew all the hate etc she wants and the police will do nothing. We had a neighbor that would utter what I considered borderline death threats, insults at my kids etc and police said as long as she stayed on her own property they could do nothing beyond cite her for disordly conduct, which they would not do without catching her in the act. If she left her own property though like the day she stood in front of my house saying things to us, it is a different story. This is where documenting and recording everything is helpful. Many times the crazy woman would say things to us in front of our house tell the cops she was on her own property, they could not determine who was lieing so nothing would come of the calls I made to them, other than them telling her each time to leave us alone. The first time she merely grunts in your direction at the library I would be reporting it along with the rest of teh information. You could say to the manager you wanted this to remain a private issue between you and the crazy but since she is bringing it to the library you had no choice but to bring it up. that prevents it from becoming a gossipy thing that you tattled to her boss etc. There seems to always be a few crazies around. I have 2 on my street that mostly leave me alone, instead they try to get their kids to do their dirty work for them. The one from back in the city was still the worst one. I say we find some little island and dump all the crazies there. Like how australia started only crazier. I think your psycho neighbor is mine PN's identical twin.;). Dh also recommended I start to record her. He said every time I'm driving out to have my phne on record. It's crazy! I hope she goes back to work SOON. The island? I had the same thought only I want to live there with my famiy and animals. Friends could come visit.;) Is she like this with the other neighbors, or just you? Some people are mean and unhappy no matter what. It sounds like you tried. I'd invite you to move to my neighborhood, but we're not zoned for livestock. I'd be nice to you -- especially if you baked for me :D :lol::lol::lol: I never really saw her talk to other neighbors until she got the second job at the library a few years back. She probably sees them there, but when she sees us, she is still NASTY!!! I do know there was an article in the paper thanking her for her volunteer work when her dd was at the school in town. The article also mentioned that she was known for voicing her very strong opinions. I'll say. She also welcomed our newest neighbor by screaming at them when a culvert got plugged up after an unusually strong storm. :glare: Other than that, she seems somewhat friendly with the neighbors further down the road. Our newest neighbor moved in about a year ago and he doesn't even know who she is though she drives by his house every day. I could hide my horses and llamas in your garage, couldn't I?:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Some people are just not happy. I have a family member like that. The glass is nearly empty if it doesn't completely reach the top. She is unhappy because nothing ever goes the way she dreams it will. She holds resentments from 50 years ago but can't remember why she was mad. She just knows that everyone is out to cheat her, or worse. If she could live life without ever being around another person, she would. It has nothing to do with the other person, it is a personal problem. A Narcisist if you wish. You can't make them happy because nothing will ever be just the right thing. Something will always be wrong. Unfortunately you moved into her neighborhood. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I could hide my horses and llamas in your garage, couldn't I?:D My DH would LOVE that ;) He told me if I bring any more pets in the house that I can move into the shed with them. I wonder if the garage is technically part of the house? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 (edited) Sit down with your dh and establish some boundaries. Be very clear on where you choose to draw the line. That way, when things happen you are not going to be reacting purely out of emotion and excitement. You will be able to calmly follow the steps you have already determined. Focus on what is happening now, not on what happened in the past. You chose not to press charges back then, so it is probably too late now. Don't let those things cloud your judgement. Use that information to know what she is capable of doing, but react based on what is happening now, not an accumulation of issues that have happened over a period of years. Call the police and explain the situation. You may not be the only one and your concerns, when added to those of others could possibly prompt some action. Speak with your other neighbors. If they don't know you well, let them see that you are not at all as the mh has probably described to them. Don't let her drag you into badmouthing her to the neighbors. Just have a prepared statement along the lines of, "We tried very hard to be friendly to her in the beginning, but unfortunately that didn't work out. I'm not quite sure what is going on now." Don't get drawn into a jr. high school style battle of name calling and trying to allign the neighbors on your side. Let her see you putting up the surveilance cameras (if you are putting them out of reach where she can't disable one from behind). It is much better to scare her off from your property than to catch her doing something that would injure one of your animals. Edited September 25, 2012 by hillfarm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 ETA: you ladies got me thinking. Dh and I have decided that we are going to speak with the police this weekend. I want to at the very least file a report to HOPEFULLY get her to think twice about any further harassment or retalliation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I've been where you are...I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Cameras, write down everything, get the police involved and on your side. Tell them you are concerned for the safety of your children. When you are out take a video recording device with you and be ready to hit record. When I started pointing a video recorder at my crazy neighbor every time I saw her she literally ran the other way. It was lovely.;) :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 (edited) :grouphug: Edited September 28, 2012 by ksva Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 ETA: you ladies got me thinking. Dh and I have decided that we are going to speak with the police this weekend. I want to at the very least file a report to HOPEFULLY get her to think twice about any further harassment or retalliation. Thanks for posting this update, and letting us know you're recording things. This has all been on my mind all day -- I'm worried about you! We have a highly annoying neighbor, but when I read things like this I realize that she could be much, much worse. So you're doing a service by posting this stuff -- when I read about Nasty Old Hag I appreciate that my whacko neighbor would never harm my pets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 :grouphug: I hear ya. We live near a married couple like this. I would go into detail but we go to court next month with these people. I'm just glad my youngest child is now 19yo and all my Chihuahuas are dead and gone. All we have left are a few chickens - which seem to be disappearing more rapidly than usual - with NO trace (usually there are scattered feathers when a wild bird/animal gets them). :glare: Recording devices are great. My cell phone videos for at least 45 minutes. I also carry a camera set to take video. The key is to get past the shock and the horrified thoughts like, 'I can't believe _____ just did that!!!' - to hitting that record button instantly. The sherriff deputy actually recommended taking videos in our situation. Yours is probably similar. Ask the police what THEY would do in such a situation. Our sherriff's dept was very helpful. We even got to talk with the magistrate at length about it. I hope you and your family find some peace soon. :grouphug: ETA: This is also why I've begun deleting all my posts before the edit button expires. UNBELIEVABLE!!!! I hope the outcome is favorable for you. If you remember, please either post and update here or PM me. As we drove out today, and again driving back in, I had my phone all set to just touch one button to start to record. Can you get a restraining order on her? How can I when she lives so close? How can she be told not to walk the road, etc? Dh looked up some harassment laws today. I want the police to tell them to leave us alone, not contact us for anything unles it is concernng legal business, and never trespass on our property. EVER. And we are still looking at security systems. Thing is that we need one in the barn (her house is across from it), the woods, the house. Thanks for posting this update, and letting us know you're recording things. This has all been on my mind all day -- I'm worried about you! We have a highly annoying neighbor, but when I read things like this I realize that she could be much, much worse. So you're doing a service by posting this stuff -- when I read about Nasty Old Hag I appreciate that my whacko neighbor would never harm my pets. I am sorry for your frustrations!!! I just don't understand how people can be so ugly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Denise, we have a security system on the house and motion detection camers on the outside. You may not need a security system in your barn - a camera on the doors will probably suffice. Our system was much, much cheaper than I thought it would be. And I know we got a great camera system. It records to a cheaper DVD player right in the basement. If nothing happens for 30 days, we just wipe the DVD and start over. Let me tell you though, the absolute JOY in turning in a DVD of our little nutball was amazing. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 Denise, we have a security system on the house and motion detection camers on the outside. You may not need a security system in your barn - a camera on the doors will probably suffice. Our system was much, much cheaper than I thought it would be. And I know we got a great camera system. It records to a cheaper DVD player right in the basement. If nothing happens for 30 days, we just wipe the DVD and start over. Let me tell you though, the absolute JOY in turning in a DVD of our little nutball was amazing. :lol: WOW!!!!!! You actually caught something!!! I really think we need cameras in the barn pointing out to the field. I really am nervous she will poison apples and throw them to my horses, but motion detection lights in the woods at the front of our house would work. Of course then I couldn't record anything..... We are currently having the woods thinned, and my dogs are NOT allowed out of our house withput their zapping collars on. I soooooooppppp hated to resort to that and training them was incredibly stressful for me, BUT they are safer in my yard where wackos can't TRY to harm them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Police report is good. I agree w/ cameras and recording everything she says to you. :grouphug: I'm sorry she is so mean, but I'm glad you're out walking again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry. She sounds like an awful person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carpe Diem Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 So sorry. Hope you can figure out how to stay far away from her.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cammie Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Don't dismiss the idea of the restraining order. Check the laws in your state. However, what most such orders allow you to do is establish a buffer. It is not that she "can't walk down the sidewalk" more like she has to stay 100 yards away from your home, cannot contact you in any way, has to stay 100 yards away from you and your children, etc. Judges can pretty much word these as they feel is required. In some states "restraining orders" are for between family members and "stalking orders" are between non-related parties. Stalking doesn't always have to be the movie-type stalking. It can be frequent, unwanted contact of a threatening nature. Typically courts are set up so that you don't need a lawyer to go in and get one of these orders. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 :grouphug: Have you considered cameras in various strategic locations? Then you could possibly know if she comes onto your property and you would have proof if it became necessary. That's exactly what first crossed my mind. If she's that crazy, you should be prepared for anything. :grouphug: and so sorry! Be careful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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