Anonymous on TWTM

[Dory]

So if you had a difficult issue with your child and wanted advice, would you feel comfortable sharing with the IRL people? More important, would your child be comfortable knowing that you shared with people who know him personally?

 

If someone in my household has an issue that is too sensitive to be talking about in public, then I will track down someone specific who could help me out, not talk about it with everyone. My kids have been taught that letting your pride get in the way of your growth is never a good idea. You don't share things with people that you don't trust, but you don't hide things away just because they make you look less then perfect. My child has learned to swallow his pride and ask for help with things. He also learned that if people judge him badly simply because he struggles with something, than those aren't the type of people he needs to hang out with.

[SKL]

When I recognized someone IRL on here, I pm'd her to confirm and let her know. I don't want to be stalky. It doesn't seem fair for me to be able to "stalk" her without giving her the same opportunity, LOL.

[Classical Country Mama]

and i've met two forum members in person so far (aside from those two i mentioned)- classical country mama and askpauline. Yay! :d

 

And that was the BEST DAY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Oddly, it didn't feel world collidey at all. But that's probably because of the margaritas health shakes.

[Ellesmere]

I keep hearing "I wouldn't post anything that I wouldn't say IRL" as a reason to be open about your IRL/WTM identity. Or some are saying they don't feel the need to hide who they are.

 

To me, those can be separate things. I try not to post anything I wouldn't say IRL as far as courtesy and honesty goes. I'm not insincere here or IRL. I try not to be rude, though I sometimes hit "submit" before really thinking it through. But I often put my foot in my mouth IRL, too, so it isn't any different.

 

But I simply need privacy from a certain people. I do not live in a diverse area so it isn't easy for me to share odd details about my family. I want to keep my kids' lives as private as I can, too. I do open up here a little to offer support to others with a similar struggle, but I take it to PM when it comes to sharing specifics.

 

If anyone IRL figured out who I am, I would be ok if they told me in a, "hey, I happened to notice ..." If someone asked directly who I am on here, it would depend on the situation.

 

I try to give those who want privacy the benefit of the doubt. I don't assume they are hiding anything, being dishonest, or using as a shield so they can be rude or rant about people. Not that it doesn't happen.

 

Other people have no problem sharing details and that's fine. It would be almost worth doing for me in order to get Panda-d.

[SKL]

Hey you guys, if we ever meet in person, I hope we all agree . . .

What happens at the Hive

Stays at the Hive.

Right?

 

Oh, btw, my sister recently named her puppy Cupcake. Totally irrelevant, but I just thought I'd share. :D

[PeacefulChaos]

Well, I only know one person IRL and I've recommended she come to the forums, but she says it's just too overwhelming for her. :D (BTW, If you're here, HI! :lol: ) I did tell her my username.

[Dory]

Hey you guys, if we ever meet in person, I hope we all agree . . .

What happens at the Hive

Stays at the Hive.

Right?

 

Oh, btw, my sister recently named her puppy Cupcake. Totally irrelevant, but I just thought I'd share. :D

 

:lol: I love the name.

 

More seriously, I would never talk about information that is not my own. If someone here has shared something whether in a pm or on the board, I would not feel it was right for me to tell anyone else.

Unless of course it was a great kilt picture, then I have to share with others. :D

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yes, but I think the major thing that makes putting everything out there on TWTM forums different is that they are public. I'd be interested in seeing the statistics on site traffic from non-members.

 

I post everything on here knowing full well that this is a public site. I hope that everyone else does too. It doesn't bother me if random strangers know that somewhere out there there is a woman (out of millions) who has chronic illness. It doesn't bother me if random strangers know that somewhere out there, there is a random family (out of billions!) who butt heads sometime. I haven't shared anything that I wouldn't be comfortable with my mother knowing. I don't bash my children or my dh because I know that if they wanted to, they could look up my posts here. My boundary challenged neighbor who I have posted about at least once already knows what I think of her behavior. Sure, there is stuff that I post about in more depth here because in real life I don't talk in boring multi-paragraph monologues. I wouldn't be embarrassed with real life friends reading these things if they cared enough about the subject to open a thread about it.

 

I don't post my bank account information or even the combination to the lock I use on the lockers at the Y. If you did track me down to my house from my posts here, please note that we lock our house when we aren't there, have an alarm system and have a guard dog in the backyard. We didn't put up those safeguards for people we met online but I suppose it would keep them out just as much as some random burglar casing our neighborhood. My kids are old enough to not help you to find your lost puppy. I don't let them hang out in private places with other people for everyone's reputation and safety's sake. I know that they are in danger of random violence but as a victim of violence myself before the digital age, I know that crime happens.

 

I don't care about people judging me. There are people who judge the online me already. There have been people who have judged me in churches and elsewhere. I don't change who I am because of it. I do care what God thinks of me and I do change because of that.;)

 

I mentioned before that I do ask friends privately about sensitive topics. But partly that is because sometimes you can't get wise advice without knowing the actual personalities involved. I think I've only done that perhaps 3 times. As someone else said, my life is actually pretty boring for the most part.

[QuirkyKapers]

I do not share my forum username with people I know in real life. I prefer to keep these separate.

Sounds like the moms you met don't want to do so either. I completely understand.

:iagree:

 

Yes, this is what I assumed. But why do you feel this way? There's a whole load of reasons I've come up with but they're mostly negative.

 

I changed my name on the forums for more anonymity. However, if someone wanted to figure it out, I am sure they could. I have had some situations I was figuring out and needed input. I wouldn't want someone to figure out it was me and tell others. Again, I am sure that if someone I knew IRL was on the boards, after reading some posts, they might be able to figure it out. I just wanted it to be a little harder to figure out. :tongue_smilie:

[KungFuPanda]

Soooo . . . which costume?

 

 

[a27mom]

I am relatively new here so I don't think there are many people out there trying to figure out who I am. ;) But I am sure there are IRL people I am acquainted with on here since I know lots of homeschoolers. I also know that several people from another board/forum I am on (very non-anonymously) come here as well.

 

This has led me to choose to be more anonymous here. It is very important to me not to say anything online I would refuse to say in public. However I may say things online that i wouldn't be the first to bring up in public.

 

I use these forums to dig into educational methods and philosophies. I don't necessarily agree with some of the others I know who are here on some things. Some of them are very dedicated to their positions, and I don't see the point of causing drama elsewhere by making them aware of my disagreement. Though If they asked my opinion directly I would share.

 

Also, my kids learn differently, there are places I can discuss that here, but it is a bit of a turnoff to some parents who don't get it. No point in causing misunderstanding. I hate drama.

[CalicoKat]

I wouldn't tell either. It's spooky having people who know you IRL see what you write online. It's always different from what you'd say face-to-face - whether some people think so or not.

 

There are some folks I knew online first and then met IRL, though. And at least one of them is on this forum too (and knows who I am here). I don't always remember about that, but I try to behave myself for the most part.

 

Although I try not to say too much most of the time, I've been guilty of a few vents that could get me in trouble if my IRL folks knew about them.

 

What about Facebook? I realize not everyone does FB for this reason, but many people do.

[SKL]

What about Facebook? I realize not everyone does FB for this reason, but many people do.

 

Funny you should bring up facebook. I have only in the past week or so started "being on facebook" and I don't use my real name (nor the specific details of my kids). In fact, I have yet to post anything substantive on my facebook page, because I have to weigh whether it will:

 

• offend my liberal friends
  
• offend my conservative friends
  
• offend my friends whose kids are slower than mine
  
• offend my friends whose kids are nicer than mine
  
• embarrass or outrage any family member
  
• connect two or more "friends" whom I'd rather keep separate
  
• tip off anyone about my "secret online life" (outside of facebook)
  
• be tmi for any business partners, clients, kids' teachers, church people, neighbors, exes, . . . I mean, just who in your life can you really say "anything" to?
  
• be none of the above but too boring for anyone to be bothered with it.
  

So far my comments have been limited to "oh, what a cute photo" and "how do I get facebook to do ___?"

[Jean in Newcastle]

Kungfu Panda - dd10 would like you to come in the real panda costume. Then she will adopt you and will feed you bamboo shoots. She wants you to bring a real panda baby with you.

[Mommyfaithe]

:iagree:

 

I don't even ASK other homeschoolers if they know about, or have been to, The Hive.

 

:leaving:

 

Me either.....this is my safe place.

[KungFuPanda]

Kungfu Panda - dd10 would like you to come in the real panda costume. Then she will adopt you and will feed you bamboo shoots. She wants you to bring a real panda baby with you.

 

Awesome! I love bamboo shoots! We can socialize IRL and I can maintain my anonymity.

 

 

[sparrow]

Awesome! I love bamboo shoots! We can socialize IRL and I can maintain my anonymity.

 

 

 

Am I the only one, or is there something creepy about this photo? *shiver*

[Jean in Newcastle]

Am I the only one, or is there something creepy about this photo? *shiver*

 

Just wait until she shows up on your doorstep! :D

[sparrow]

Just wait until she shows up on your doorstep! :D

 

:svengo:

 

She'll have to find me first! :D

[Sarah CB]

Oh yes, I'm with the sneaky, silent types. Plus I don't like my worlds colliding; Twitter world, WTM world, writers' forum world, etc, all need to keep to their own special solar systems. I have this terrible feeling the universe might implode otherwise.

 

I'll tell Y'ALL, though, since you're my online hs family: my WTM name is Classical Country Mama. :D

 

:iagree: I feel totally disoriented when my worlds collide for any reason.

 

Have you seen the Seinfeld episode about George's worlds colliding? :lol:

[higginszoo]

My name is pretty unusual, so it's pretty obvious that it's me here.

[Jean in Newcastle]

:iagree: I feel totally disoriented when my worlds collide for any reason.

 

Have you seen the Seinfeld episode about George's worlds colliding? :lol:

 

Maybe it is a personality thing? I don't feel like I have any separate worlds. I mean I do have different venues where I see different people but I am exactly the same in each of those venues. I share the same things, have the same opinions and have the same personality. If person A from one venue meets person B from another venue, I might comment on it being a small world but it wouldn't bother me at all. I figure that if I like person A and person A likes me, then the likelihood is high that person A and person B will get along too!

[elegantlion]

Hey you guys, if we ever meet in person, I hope we all agree . . .

What happens at the Hive

Stays at the Hive.

Right?

 

I think this is the motto I try to use. It wouldn't be hard for people IRL to figure out who I am on this board, and if a Panda came to my door they should bring chocolate and some white zinfandel.

 

I also don't out people I know IRL. I share more here about our struggles (schooling and otherwise) than on my blogs because there are certain extended family that reads my blogs and I'd rather they not know.

 

I have a pretty low profile life anyway. If I needed more anonymity because of professional position of me or dh or if people IRL were causing trouble, I'd consider trying to be more anonymous.

[Little Nyssa]

I think it's awkward too. Sometimes I want anonymity, sometimes I wonder if any of you are people I know IRL! I have asked people I meet if they are on WTM and I've gotten the response "I don't have time for that stuff!!" which I suppose, to be honest... I don't really either...:001_smile:

 

As for unregistered observers, you can look at the "who's online" feature and you'll see that after the WTM members on the list, there are tons of unregistered people looking at us at any given moment! :001_unsure:

 

At one point i decided I was done with being anonymous and pm'd a couple of people, (although I did not know them, I know people that they know) my actual name & email. To my surprise one said, "Actually, I've known who you are for quite some time!" Gotta love that Patty Joanna!

 

(P.S. no, I'm not the famous anonymous lady!!)

[QuirkyKapers]

Women in panda outfit with nice panda ears!

[Candid]

In my case I am in a situation in real life where I'm the person who has to step in a moderate or shut down nonproductive discussions. So I don't every say much that involves any opinions of mine. So I like to have a place where I can be more candid.

[regentrude]

What about Facebook? I realize not everyone does FB for this reason, but many people do.

 

Totally different!

I use facebook to keep in touch with people I know in person, and to easily interact with groups of people where we all know each other. It is an extension of face-to-face conversations.

Nothing I post is visible to the public or to "friends of friends".

[musicianmom]

On this forum I have noticed people that I know or have known in real life (there's no doubt as to who they are). I prefer not to reveal my forum name to anyone.

[Mommy22alyns]

I agree about "worlds colliding." I'll recommend WTM to some of my other non-IRL homeschooling friends, but I'd feel awkward sending an IRL friend here. Weird, but whatever!

[In the Rain]

I think I'm very similar IRL and online. The biggest difference is that I don't give as many :grouphug: IRL. That is probably because I don't come across as many hurting people IRL, or at least they aren't sharing their hurts.

 

I have family members, real life friends and acquaintances on the board. That keeps me pretty honest.

[Dory]

I think I'm very similar IRL and online. The biggest difference is that I don't give as many :grouphug: IRL. That is probably because I don't come across as many hurting people IRL, or at least they aren't sharing their hurts.

 

I have family members, real life friends and acquaintances on the board. That keeps me pretty honest.

 

Here I thought I was pretty much the same on here as in real life, but after reading your piece here, I realized, I NEVER give hugs to anyone other than my kids IRL. So I guess I am a little different here than in person. Perhaps in the interest of being more realistic I should either drop the hugs here or get gutsy enough to hug IRL :tongue_smilie:. Or not.

[In the Rain]

Here I thought I was pretty much the same on here as in real life, but after reading your piece here, I realized, I NEVER give hugs to anyone other than my kids IRL. So I guess I am a little different here than in person. Perhaps in the interest of being more realistic I should either drop the hugs here or get gutsy enough to hug IRL :tongue_smilie:. Or not.

 

Nah. I figure the huggy emoticon here is kind of a replacement for the sympathetic/compassionate/concerned, etc facial expression you could give in real life. Lots of people aren't really huggers IRL, as we've learned on the WTM boards. :lol:

[Mrs Mungo]

I have met several boardies IRL. My picture is right there. Many people have stopped me and asked me if I was Mrs Mungo at homeschool conferences. The only time I have been taken off guard was the time someone asked me at the gym, lol.

 

There are people I would not send to this board.

[IsabelC]

I'd be thrilled to meet one of you irl. Hugging optional.