Slightly morbid topic: If something happened to you as the teacher...

[elegantlion]

...and your high school student wanted to continue homeschooling, how would you go about it?

 

This was a topic of conversation this morning. We've had a few accidents locally that have hit close to home. Ds and I talked about what direction his education would take if something happened to me. Dh could not academically handle taking over. Ds would not be a good fit for the public school, through his own admission. I was a tad surprised ds negated the public school so quickly, but I want to have some contingency plans in place for worst case scenario. My parents would be great support, and help as much as possible, but they couldn't teach upper level work.

 

If he were older 11th or 12th, I would assume he'd have the maturity and drive to finish at home on his own. If it were the next year or two, there would need to be better support.

 

Would you trust your 9th or 10th grader to oversee their own education if they had the emotional support and someone to help with the administrative side?

 

Have you written any of this down for your spouse/SO just in case? Do you have friends/family that could step in for you? I do think public school would be emotionally trying for ds if I were gone. If plans were in place, I think dh would be willing to execute them, but he wouldn't try to make them up if I weren't here.

 

It's simply been one of those life is short and you never know type of weeks.

[Mom22ns]

I have a file on my computer that I update at least once a year. It has a plan for ds to finish high school using resources that would require very little from dh. Ds is ASD and we've promised him he will never have to go back to ps.

 

Dd would go to a private school.

[elegantlion]

I have a file on my computer that I update at least once a year. It has a plan for ds to finish high school using resources that would require very little from dh. Ds is ASD and we've promised him he will never have to go back to ps.

 

Dd would go to a private school.

 

That's a good idea, to create a file.

[Delirium]

Now I have something to think about today. Gosh. I already have issue because I'm terrified to die before kiddo is grown. The Spouse has too many memory/other mental/health issues that I fear they couldn't make it on their own without even thinking about the school aspect. Kiddo would not do well in PS, she never has. I suddenly feel the desire to call my sil sobbing. What a tough topic!:crying:

[FaithManor]

I have a file on my computer that I update at least once a year. It has a plan for ds to finish high school using resources that would require very little from dh.

 

I have this as well. But, an added bonus is that my dd would step in...she's halfway through her degree in chemistry and working as a paramedic.

 

Dh and dd agreed that she would work mostly weekends and dh would use my life insurance to pay her to assist him in homeschooling the boys. They would use a lot of online and Great Courses lecture series in addition to dh teaching math in the evenings or on weekends directly, and dd tutoring in science where needed plus doing a lot of grading and record keeping for transcripts. My mom would help with ferrying them to and from extra-curriculars such as ds's classical guitar lessons.

 

My kids are not candidates for the local PS either. They are all STEM oriented kids and our school district just eliminated all AP science classes, Calc 1, debate, math team, chess club, and nearly ALL labs - just three each semester :001_huh: for biology, chemistry, and physics - oh and elminated advanced physics class as well - in favor of putting all of the money saved towards more remedial classes to shore up standardized test scores. The boys are already beyond most of the courses they offer to juniors and seniors for 2012/2013 and they are only 12, 13 almost 14, and 15.5. We live an hour away from a university and it's a poor one at that! So, keep on keeping on is about all dh can do if the boys are going to continue to get an education.

 

If something happened to both dh and I, dd inherits her brothers. But along with that, a very LARGE sum of money in life insurance. So, she'd move closer to the city and continue to work full time or go to school full time while they attended a very competitive private high school there that dd would have no trouble paying for out of their trust funds.

 

Faith

[JudoMom]

Ds13 is still a year away from high school, but our plan at this point is to enroll the boys in K12 should something happen to me. None of the boys want to go to school, and we think that adding that big change into the mix when they're grieving would be too much.

[Mommyfaithe]

Well, I didn't die....but I got very, very sick when my oldest dd was in High School....then to top it off, my dh's Mom and my dad also were ill, and died during that time. I was one of the primary caregivers to both....anyway, I was extremely organized with her. She was very self-motivated and knew what had to be done....and did it. I had answer keys and clear lesson plans available. She really owned her education....and it showed when she went off to college.

 

I keep a pretty detailed scope and sequence of what has to happen not only in high school, but in all grades. I feel I have the freedom to pick, choose, manipulate, tweak etc....but a responsibility to make sure if something happened to me, my dh or one of my older kids could jump into the drivers seat and drive this bus.

 

Faithe

[angela in ohio]

I have kept great records, so our local school district would likely give my dc credit (they want good records or accredited courses) for what they have completed. My older dd would probably just finish at home; she could combine online courses, one course at the high school, and community college classes to finish things up. My middle dd would go to the high school and heavily utilize DE and online courses through the high school, probably graduating early. Little guy would go to a private school.

[elegantlion]

Thank you all. Yes, it isn't something I really want to think about. I'm glad to hear others have those contingency plans. Faithe, I'm glad you're here and it's nice to hear about children rising to the occasion.

 

I had assumed ds would go to public school, but his defiance against it threw me this morning. He'd have fewer discipline problems at home from the plans he told me this morning, like not going to school at all. :001_huh:

 

I guess I'll write up some plans and put them in the safe with our wills.

[justamouse]

 

Have you written any of this down for your spouse/SO just in case? Do you have friends/family that could step in for you? I do think public school would be emotionally trying for ds if I were gone. If plans were in place, I think dh would be willing to execute them, but he wouldn't try to make them up if I weren't here.

 

It's simply been one of those life is short and you never know type of weeks.

 

I haven't done anything purposefully. Which is making me think, because I *know* my DH wouldn't put them in PS.

 

I have written down yearly trajectories--up until 12th only because I want a curric that builds our family culture and it's where I'm aiming, so to speak.

 

But yeah, that seems like a responsible thing to think about and write out.

[mumto2]

This thread is hitting really close to home today. A good friend, home ed mom is terminally ill. We just walked in the door from her house. This was meant to be an escape.:lol: Anyway we have all seen her plans--dh and her dad are taking over. I pray it all works out for everyone and these plans do not happen for a long, long, time. I am so sad right now.

 

For me my dh would take over. Curriculum would be shifted some to suit his taste. Dd14 pretty self guided now. My ds12 would have the biggest change. Still home ed. Both of us--really hard to think about. Plans are in place.

[jhschool]

We could manage.

DH has a flexible schedule.

He already teaches DS Science

and Programming during the weekends anyway, so that is taken care of. I know he would take

over Test Preparation for Physics, Chemistry, and Math, in addition to teaching Science and Programming.

 

DS does Math on his own. For 8th

grade he just went through the whole A Beka book Algebra 1. He checked his own solutions. If he had any problems he asked his dad in the evening. He also has the option of doing Art of Problem Solving online school. Took some classes in the summer and likes it. But A Beka has a good Geometry, Algebra 2, and Precalculus set of books. (Also the Physics and Chemistry textbooks are good and

is what DH is using/planning on using, respectively.)

 

So Science, Math, and Computers is taken care of anyway and already planned.

 

English: DS likes to read a lot. (Things like Metamorphosis, Henry V, Watership Down, Iliad, etc.) so I figure he is covered there for a High School level English. He likes doing NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). He would continue this on his own. He could also take classes at the Co-op we belong to if he wanted, if I wasn't there any more.

 

Foreign Language: He takes Latin at the local Co-op, so he would continue that. DH would have to

drive him but that's where the flexibility would come in.

 

History would really suffer if I was gone because DS is not interested at all. I wonder what would happen.

DH is not that interested in teaching History--he has his own little interests (was there cannon during Joan of Arc? for instance) but not enough to teach DS anything like a high school credit. I suppose DS should pick a Co-op course--we have a great teacher at the Co-op.

 

Music: DS has many ensembles, choirs, and instrument teachers. DH would just have to drive.

 

Location-wise: I think DH would hire a sitter to come to the house to basically sit while DS was working hard. If the sitter was responsible driving, DH would probably hire her to drive DS to activities. I wouldn't want DH to leave DS home alone. If the sitter wasn't available that day for sickness and whatnot, DH could take DS to work with him that day and nobody would mind.

 

Except for History, I think we are all set. I should probably write down instructions, or let them know. I don't know, something like watch these Great Courses and go through the AP World History book or something, and count hours. When you have 160 hours of it you have a credit. I'm not sure--it wouldn't be as good as if I did it, but it's not worth going to PS just because of the History if I am dead (God forbid). I think I have to let them know today what class to sign up for at the Co-op if something happens to me.

 

Speaking of which, I am going to add my whole family to the homeschooling lists and especially the Co-op email list, so that they start realizing these things need to be kept up with.

 

Whoa! I am sure this post is completely nonsensical, but I am just plopping my thoughts down at the moment. If they help someone, good; if not, sorry for the blabber.

 

It's certainly helped me.

[regentrude]

In that case, my husband and kids would have to reevaluate the whole family situation and make a decision. It would be up to them to continue homeschooling (DH would be capable and informed enough to select materials; my kids are working independently anyway) or to decide that under these circumstances public high school would be an option.

 

In a pinch, DS could replicate DD's course of studies with slight modifications; I have everything documented in detail on my computer.

 

It is not something I worry about. They would not "fit" well in public high school - but in the big scheme, this is a minor issue compared to the loss of a parent.

Edited August 24, 2012 by regentrude

[Mom22ns]

It is not something I worry about. They would not "fit" well in public high school - but in the big scheme, this is a minor issue compared to the loss of a parent.

 

Good point. I just don't want to add the stress of "what to do about school?" to such a difficult time should it occur.

 

I did want to add that in addition to having the file on my computer - I've told DH I have the file on my computer. I think making plans is important, but making sure someone knows you have made the plans is an important step too :).

[SailorMom]

DH would have to hire some kind of live-in (due to being deployed half the year), so most likely he would have that person tutor DS, and add in outside tutors and classes.

We've actually talked about it.

As DS gets older, the classes get harder, but the options are more available (i.e. dual enrollment, more online options).

[G5052]

We discuss homeschooling every year after Christmas so that I'm ready for the January registrations, and then I start buying curriculum as I have the $$$. And we discuss the what-ifs as well.

 

I agree that it would be a good idea to put a plan with your important documents. I never considered doing that before. I'm close enough to the end that I can do that with some certainty.

 

The DC are largely independent, so he would just need to coach and cheer them on. Years ago my first choice would be private school, but now I would say to just let them finish at home, doing online courses where needed. DH has indicated that he would probably downsize and go part-time or retire early if they needed him.

[MamaT]

My dh and my 26yo son would oversee their schooling. I know, between them, it would be doable. I like the idea of writing detailed plans. I'm going to do that.

[quark]

I have started a web-based system for my son for reasons like this one. Well, actually, it was primarily to have him learn to work more independently but I am sure it could also work if something were to happen to me.

 

Currently, a few of kiddo's subjects (he's using high school level math, science and electives right now) are online so I first started planning by putting together an Excel spreadsheet of a possible timeline of courses with my suggested resource links. Most of the links are ones that I know he will enjoy using and are also of satisfactory to very good quality.

 

I then created a website (any free website provider or even a Blogger/Wordpress blog will do). I made pages for each subject, including the "fun" subjects he enjoys. And these pages appear on the navigation bar of the site. Each subject page, when you click/mouseover it, has a drop down menu of links to resources.

 

It's like an ala carte menu. So if I'm not feeling well a certain day or am too busy to help him, I can say go to this website (it's bookmarked on his browser) and choose one link each from subject pages x, y and z etc. to do today.

 

The basic set up is done and he has enough links in there to last him till he's chronologically 10th grade-ish. I pre-print any related worksheets for him each year. I already have Coursera in there but I'll have to add other links too for 11th and 12th grade level learning.

 

I'll also need to write up a list for hubby -- which website memberships to renew and for how much and by when as well as supplies to buy like lab kits and books and worksheets to pre-print.

 

It's not top notch or anything and I believe the DH may opt for a B&M school since we are a 3-member family unit and extended family lives far away, but it could be a viable online learning "plan B" should I pass away when he's in his teens and kiddo is too miserable in a B&M school.

[marbel]

Interesting topic!

 

I don't have homeschool-specific contingency plans. We do have life insurance so my husband would have some additional financial flexibility if I died. He is more than capable of keeping the kids going and I don't think he'd have a problem finding curriculum. He'd just have to look at the stuff we are using and start with those companies... it's easy enough to find curriculum.

 

One of my kids could easily go into a public or private school. The other would not fit so well... but he and his dad would work something out if needed.

 

If my kids were younger it would be more of a concern to me.

[Lori in MS]

My older dc could continue no problem, but I have a 5th grader, kindergartener and 18 month old too. Something to think about!

[StephanieZ]

OMG.

 

If my kids lost a parent, they'd need a year or more of recovery, for sure, before being healed enough to be responsible for their own education in any way. During that year, I'd think they'd need a lot of emotional support, reduced schooling workload, and as much stability as possible.

 

I haven't planned it out at all. I have no idea what they'd do if I died. There'd be tons of money (lots of life insurance) for hiring help, and I assume that's what dh would do for day to day stuff, but for schooling, it would be very tough. Very.

 

Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

 

Gasp.

[momofkhm]

I hate to say it, but if something happened to me, dh would put the younger 2 kids back in school. It may be a private school, but they would be in school. Oldest would finish at home, but she only has this year left.

 

There are times that I feel I am homeschooling middle by the skin of my teeth. DH thinks she would be better off in school. Youngest, well he just has too many years left for dh to think he'd be ok at home.

[Candid]

My oldest could continue on but my youngest would need more supervision.

 

Like others I also have a set of files on my computer that indicate our overall plan. However, I generally plan science year to year so that would be a hole.

 

However, and I post this for younger moms, long ago we took out a life insurance policy on me that could pay a private tutor to home school our children. At this point the fund is huge because I did not die when they were young. What I did to come up with an amount is to figure out how much local public school teacher's were paid; add in an additional amount for FICA, health insurance etc.; and multiply by the number of years to get my youngest graduated. Given the current economy we could I think easily find an experience teacher to take on this mission.

[marbel]

However, and I post this for younger moms, long ago we took out a life insurance policy on me that could pay a private tutor to home school our children.

 

I'm straying OT but I think even nonhomeschooling moms should have some life insurance. There is the possibility of financial disruption even when kids go to school: afterschool care, nannies for younger ones, etc.

 

Term life insurance can be very cheap, and just cancelled when the kids are grown and don't need it anymore.

 

I would have gotten disability insurance, too, but that isn't available to people who don't have a job.

[elegantlion]

Thank you all. I know this isn't a pleasant topic, and until this week I just assumed ds would go to school should this ever happen. In fact, we talked about it briefly last night and dh knows he couldn't handle any teaching and would want ds in school. Obviously the choice would be his, but I told him I'm going to outline some options. His main argument was that you couldn't self teach at that age.

 

I do think it would be more damaging emotional to put ds in school at such a time. I guess we do discuss this from time to time as dh lost his father at a young age, but homeschooling wasn't an issue there. Ds also inherited stubborn genes from every family member and I think if he was a jr or sr he'd balk about public school. He'd probably take the initiative to get dual enrolled at the university. It's close to dh's work, so they could even carpool.

 

I don't think the life insurance is off topic. It's a good idea.

 

I like seeing what everyone has planned. I feel like since we have so much invested by this stage, that he should have some options should the unthinkable occur.

[G5052]

Dh lost a sibling who was in his 30's, and we know of several other cases where spouses died far sooner than most. So we bought term insurance on me very early on, and then bought another policy several years ago. The first goes until the youngest is 16 and was designed to cover private school, after school care, and a weekly cleaning service, and the other one is smaller but would cover a little more and then get the younger one through college. If they finished high school at home, there of course would be more for household help and college.

 

The reality is that most homeschool families don't consider this though. In my informal inquiries, most homeschool families I know haven't done any estate planning either and don't have wills.

[Candid]

I'm straying OT but I think even nonhomeschooling moms should have some life insurance. There is the possibility of financial disruption even when kids go to school: afterschool care, nannies for younger ones, etc.

 

Term life insurance can be very cheap, and just cancelled when the kids are grown and don't need it anymore.

 

I would have gotten disability insurance, too, but that isn't available to people who don't have a job.

 

:iagree:

 

BUT most don't hence the suggestion.

[cathmom]

Our plan was always that my dh would quit his job and stay home and homeschool them and live off of my life insurance. I have more insurance than he does because I could actually live off of SS if he died, but I have not worked much so SS would be next to nothing if I died. He couldn't handle the eclectic homeschooling we had been doing so he would have enrolled them in Seton and supervised.

 

Now I think that plan was incredibly short-sighted! If he had stayed home for years, there would be less SS when he retires, no retirement plan through work, and he would have been looking for work again over age 50, and we all know how great finding a job has been for people over 50 the last few years. :tongue_smilie: Not to mention that I was ALWAYS worried about him running through my life insurance and then having nothing left.

 

I'm glad you brought this up, because we need to rethink our plans now that we are not really homeschooling anymore. We also need to redo our wills, because our chosen guardian, my sister, has had major health challenges since we named her and could not care for our younger children FT. She had agreed to quit her job and homeschool them, unless she felt a private school would be better, and have the trust pay her for homeschooling. Now that our oldest is almost 23, we will just name him guardian.

 

Yes! Get life insurance!!!! I always tell people this. My other sister and her dh were young and childless and decided not to spend the money on life insurance because they thought they wouldn't need it. Then my bil was diagnosed with malignant melanoma and was sick for a year before finally passing away. She was fired about halfway through that year for taking time off to care for him and then couldn't work the last few months as she was caring for him around the clock. Thankfully, he qualified for a death benefit from his job of $20,000 so she received that after he died, which gave her a few months to mourn and recover physically before she had to look for work. It was a difficult, terrible time that could have been made much easier by an inexpensive term policy for $100K. GET LIFE INSURANCE! :001_smile: