DawnM Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 This is how I have been feeling and you know what I just did? I bought WORKBOOKS! Yup, all my dreams of having them love learning and doing Sonlight, etc... have just flown out the window as of Feb. 25th or so. They are responsible for their own learning. They will do the daily amount of work for that lesson and show it to me for correction and do the next subject. I hate it for the actual style they are getting, but I am loving the independence and stress relief of it. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 This is how I have been feeling and you know what I just did? I bought WORKBOOKS! Yup, all my dreams of having them love learning and doing Sonlight, etc... have just flown out the window as of Feb. 25th or so. They are responsible for their own learning. They will do the daily amount of work for that lesson and show it to me for correction and do the next subject. I hate it for the actual style they are getting, but I am loving the independence and stress relief of it. Dawn LOL My kids loved workbooks! I would buy them and then let them do them as they felt like it . Maps, Charts, Graphs Wordly Wise Critical THinking (or the software) Perplexers or other problem solving books Penmanship (dd switched around a bit) Spelling (dd needed a lot of review so I would get the grade below her current spelling for her to work on) I have a huge stack of things that were partially worked on, I should pull them out for spring break. DD13 would love to see some of those again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Not alone mama. I could have said the same thing yesterday. I've said it more than I can count previously. It's hard work, for sure. Especially with a child who has learning issues (like my ds9). It's like battle at times, truly. I have said many times, "I'm not a teacher. I'm not a special ed teacher. I quit! I quit! I quit!" So anyway, I'm right there with ya girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I have felt this way. When we came back from a harrowing 2 1/2 months in Denver with our oldest son in very serious condition much of the time I was so exhausted I could hardly move. Of course the thing to do since it was the middle of Oct. and I had way missed our start date of the middle of Aug was to hit the books hard and heavy. I simply couldn't get started. At Thanksgiving I changed some of the Curr., still spun my wheels. After Christmas I changed more out. I still spun my wheels. By the middle of May I was barely on my feet any more. Oh, I got up in the morning, got my oldest son ready and off to work, my dh off to work.....then the crash came almost every day. Finally the 3rd week of May, after much misery and prayer, feeling as though I was totally failing my two youngest, tears daily, I could go on and on and on, I decided I was DONE! not for good but for the summer. I knew I simply couldn't go on. We quit for the summer. Taking the summer off is something I haven't done since we started hsing. In the time we took off I had two eye surgeries and got myself off of some medicine that was greatly interfering with my sleep. By the middle of Aug. I really was ready to go back to teaching my two. My greatest advice would be step back, read to your kiddos, play games with them, go for walks, go for drives, sit in the sun(if you have any:001_smile:) enjoy them for a time. Re evaluate where you are, where they are, anything that might need to be changed with school curr, schedule, etc. REST! It did wonders for me AND for our school time. Blessings Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidbits of Learning Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I am right there with you and adding in another student this year didn't help us. We are going with the virtual school next year if they have room for us. I can't wait for it to get here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I hope you find something that works for you. I really want to homeschool the littles and I think public school would be a mistake at least for some; but... But starting over, dealing with certain issues, and parenting them all day every day worries me. I want to but am scared of burning out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Denise, do you have a teacher friend who might look over her work and then tutor her for six weeks or so? Someone who has worked with countless kids in her age range? This would be less stressful than an evaluation, not too expensive, and the word of an experienced educator that I respect would mean a lot to me. She might be able to give you an idea of what is typical and what is not, etc. If her learning difficulties seem to come and go, stress and puberty might have a lot to do with it. Keeping a diary of sorts might help pinpoint stress occurrences. I think most of us have had the experience of a kid staring blankly at work they have done quite competently in the past! The value of a tutor is that an objective pair of eyes may help you clarify whether her struggles are typical or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treestarfae Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I'll get duplicate books and we'll read through a book together on seperate couches so there's less pressure and we'll review everything together verbally in a relaxed way. :chillpill: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam L in Mid Tenn Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 :grouphug: I understand. I've been homeschooling since dirt was invented. There have been several years that I just wanted to Q. U. I. T. And , I did quit a few times. But, I'd always begin again in a few days,or weeks, or months. I've graduated two. Third will be a senior. Youngest will be a freshman. I'm planning on changing everything, so the next four years will be very different from the last four years. And, for the first time in YEARS, I am EXCITED about school. I'm even excited about finishing up this year. I'm working part time now and that has given me a fresh perspective on things too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Sequential Spelling works well with my ADD/weird processing/memory gap kid. I was dealing with major burnout too--too many medical issues between us and some challenging children.... This year I started going out with my girlfriends at 9:00p.m. one night a week. We get together at someone's house and watch bad tv and eat decadent food. I come home about midnight. The kids are home asleep with dh. It has been the best "therapy" ever. It's been better than finding time to sew or work out or other solitary stuff. I didn't know I needed to connect with other women, but I did. Can you give something like that a try? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I'm sure you've gotten such great advice already, so I won't add to that...but just to tell you BTDT. :grouphug: I really, really disliked homeschooling those last few years. Having online or video schooling helped me...although the kids didn't really like the video type schooling. I see you are very committed to homeschooling so I won't say much else. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I know what you're going through. I reached a breaking point and through a confluence of events (a school opening steps from our house & DH getting a bonus that would cover tuition) we put 4 girls in school. DS is still HSed but is mostly self taught (though some days I would have to use that term very loosely). I reached a point where I would have sent them just about anywhere to get them out of the house, I felt like I was being crushed by the pressure and responsibility, constantly felt like I was falling behind and failing them academically and emotionally. If you are as depressed as I was then perhaps you should consider school as an option. If I hadn't had that option I would have simply given up and unschooled. I know that might be blaspheme around here but I was so tired of fighting and I had no fight left in me, and at the end of the day, a child is only going to study what they're motivated to study. The good thing about school is that many students who don't care about pleasing their mom will be eager to please a teacher. There's also a degree of peer pressure and public shaming that can motivate them to work harder and be more organized (of course, for some kids they don't care about those things either). Schools often have resources for academically challenging kids that parents can't provide, or can't provide without great difficulty/ stress. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 Just wanted to give you a :grouphug:.You are one of my very favorite posters here, and I so admire you. Thanks for being real. Thanks for sharing your heart. You give me such a lovely example of perseverence, even when you feel you can't go on. I'll be in prayer for you. No advice, just another :grouphug:. our dr was running behind today (as he read dd's extensive medical file) and I read this while I was waiting. It brought tears to my eyes. I'm not a lovely example. I am a person who goes on auto pilot and tries to do what is best. I don't always succeed but I do always try. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You are quite an example of perserverance yourself. I hold you in my thoughts regularly as we have similar heartbreaking experiences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 I just wanted to respond to this point. We are in NH, too, FWIW. We had DS8 evaluated at our ps last Fall, particularly for reading difficulties. They did want to see curricula we had tried (and I brought the whole shebang in!). They wanted to make sure it was a scientifically based program (their words). They also did a home observation, which went very well. I figure they need to know this stuff because they didn't know us from Adam when we first walked in. I knew I had tried everything I could and that I was doing everything I should be doing, so I wasn't worried about giving them the info and the peek into what we do. There were some blips with the meetings, which I won't bore you with, however it ended on a good note. They were pleased with what I was doing and even said that hs'ing was the best option for him. I was also lucky because our case manager had a SIL that hs'ed her 4 children and so she had a very positive outlook on hs'ing. Also, as long as you are compliant with state law and not on probation, the school cannot tell you that you must enroll your child. They can recommend it, but you can just as easily nod your head, walk out, and never look back. In fact, as a hs parent, you can bow out at any time during the evals. Sorry for the book, lol. I just wanted to give you another perspective. Feel free to PM me if you like. :grouphug: this brought me much comfort today. Thank you. Dd is a voracious reader. She also retains most of what she reads unless the content bores her out of her mind. She has strengths, but she definitely has struggles. Being a past member of HSLDA, I just felt fear about certain situations and authority figures, mainly social workers. Adopting was a fearful time for me as I was knee deep in HSLDA membership and read the horror stories regularly. I still carry some of the fears but your post shows me I really shouldn't. Dd has gotten a wonderful education, and I am CERTAIN she has gotten more out of HS than she ever would have in PS. Positive. I stick to well researched curriculum, I keep my records, I keep her previous work. So I really shouldn't worry. Still, I do. I don't want her learning difficulties blamed on HS. Today's appt. made me feel confident to go forward with testing. The dr. did several simple tests (all memory recall related) and she didn't do well. I know something is wrong. He wants her to do neuropsyche testing. I explained my concern that she may have a good day and test well, and he said it is a gamble. It is an expensive gamble (2,000) but one that I believe is necessary to take. Your post really comforted me. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 I hope you find something that works for you. I really want to homeschool the littles and I think public school would be a mistake at least for some; but... But starting over, dealing with certain issues, and parenting them all day every day worries me. I want to but am scared of burning out. I feel STRONGLY that homeschooling is what is best for kids like ours, BUT, if you NEED to put them in school due to your health or sanity, you should never feel bad about that. Since you know it will be a tough road ahead homeschooling them, I highly suggest you plan for that appropriately. I am certain a huge part of my burnout is because of my RAD. It is also because of the numerous doctors I have had to deal with due to dd12's issues (and I feel a peace and a end to my search, even without a firmer diagnosis than what I have), my rescue farm, which is therapeutic and a TOTAL blessing but TONS of work, my mentally ill bio son, the fact that I never recovered from taking care of my parents. I didn't know I would be facing such turmoil, and it is hard to make decisions or plan appropriately while in the thick of it. YOU have a real advantage here. Do strong on the basics, outsource what you can with everything else. Outsource as much as you can. A RAD therapist (Heather!) once told me to drop homeschooling and work on relationship. I did that for a year. It was good. You need to remember that relationship, security, family, LOVE is THE priority with your kids, outsource what you can. RAD has been doing online school for two years now, dh does her math. I will be doing a CD-rom for spelling. That is the one area she needs to improve. She sucks me dry so I reserve my energy for her for relationship and I outsource her schooling. It works. It helps me remain partially sane.:tongue_smilie: (partially is pretty generous in this case!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 Denise, do you have a teacher friend who might look over her work and then tutor her for six weeks or so? Someone who has worked with countless kids in her age range? This would be less stressful than an evaluation, not too expensive, and the word of an experienced educator that I respect would mean a lot to me. She might be able to give you an idea of what is typical and what is not, etc. If her learning difficulties seem to come and go, stress and puberty might have a lot to do with it. Keeping a diary of sorts might help pinpoint stress occurrences. I think most of us have had the experience of a kid staring blankly at work they have done quite competently in the past! The value of a tutor is that an objective pair of eyes may help you clarify whether her struggles are typical or not. I wish I did have a teacher friend who could look over her work and help. I remember reading about spec ed or struggling teachers who do year end evaluations. This is really a great time to take advantage of this. I could bring a few years of work to one and maybe she would have helpful advice. I hope I can dig up these evaluators I'm certain I've seen! Thanks for this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 She will do a few of A, a few of B, skip C, do some of D, skip R&P. Of the lessons she does, all too often she hasn't followed the directions properly. The direction thing is getting easier, but still...... it is just so exhausting. We have to hand papers back and forth many, many times for corrections. She will do some, hand in the paper, then I find she hasn't completed all of them........... so I don't even know if she could do an online course. She has come so far with everything but it truly has been a struggle. I sometimes wonder if her learning difficulties are related to her undiagnosed health issues. http://www.chrisdendy.com/executive.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 I'll get duplicate books and we'll read through a book together on seperate couches so there's less pressure and we'll review everything together verbally in a relaxed way. :chillpill: we do this sometimes as we swing from air chairs which are hung in the center aisle of our barn. We do this while animals run around. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Sequential Spelling works well with my ADD/weird processing/memory gap kid. I was dealing with major burnout too--too many medical issues between us and some challenging children.... This year I started going out with my girlfriends at 9:00p.m. one night a week. We get together at someone's house and watch bad tv and eat decadent food. I come home about midnight. The kids are home asleep with dh. It has been the best "therapy" ever. It's been better than finding time to sew or work out or other solitary stuff. I didn't know I needed to connect with other women, but I did. Can you give something like that a try? I regularly see my therapy friends. I also regularly see friends I enjoy. I am even getting tired for this! Taking a day to just be away today has given me a fresh look. I am seriously stopping for the summer, all but the fun stuff. Tomorrow will be dissection day. We have kidneys, eyes, hearts, brains............ dd is dying to get into these. I bought two of everything. I deserve to enjoy myself, too.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 you all have been AWESOME. ALL of you. I wish I could respond to each individual post. I feel guilty when I don't. Thank you for sharing, for inspiring, for comforting, for commiserating. I had no idea what I was feeling is often felt by a HS mom! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Denise, thank you! Thank you for being honest and sharing openly here. This thread has blessed me. I am not alone. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Denise, I can relate to much of what you're going through. Nothing more to add. So much fabulous advice and support here. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. A lot, lot, lot. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Denise, I hope everything goes well with testing. I hope they are able to see what you're seeing and that you get some good feedback. Go in there with your head held high. You are doing everything you should (and more!). :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Well, my kids do NOT love them. They don't love anything related to school in any way, shape or form it seems. I hear a lot of, "How many pages do I have to do?" so I mark them up......so they know exactly how many pages to do. I am DONE fighting with them to actually learn. They are now responsible to finish the pages themselves. If I let them do what they FELT like doing, nothing would get done EVER. Dawn LOL My kids loved workbooks! I would buy them and then let them do them as they felt like it . Maps, Charts, Graphs Wordly Wise Critical THinking (or the software) Perplexers or other problem solving books Penmanship (dd switched around a bit) Spelling (dd needed a lot of review so I would get the grade below her current spelling for her to work on) I have a huge stack of things that were partially worked on, I should pull them out for spring break. DD13 would love to see some of those again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anneofalamo Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 wowza...sometimes I come to the hive and leave feeling like I have failed my children today I want to just hug you for being real in my heart and eyes I'm an adoptive mom to many...and my oldest is a genius...crazy smart, freaky smart, and has NO desire for college, give him a hammer and let him outside to build and joy fills his heart. He will get his GED at 17 and is already working part time for a construction company and loving every minute of it. The one failure to thrive who forgets from one day to the next formulas for area and perimeter. and two girls who struggle thru but do it to please mom.... and 3 more in route...and no idea their struggles but... I decided to keep joy in our homeschool (not fun like disney land, but joy) over everything else. We have done bonfires with curriculum (saxon tee hee) thrown away grammar (easy grammar after 4 years of crossing out prepositions) and realized that spell check is glorious, and the red squiggly lines I am ignoring even as I type this are wonderful helps! We began teaching life skills as major subjects, to help my children cope out in the real world. Yeah we do science, history, math and reading...but no longer intensive... Pure sleep in days for the sake of it....scrub the whole house down in one day instead of school and road trip for sneakers. this has helped my sanity....and kept joy in our home. hugs to you precious woman who hit the wall and just wanted to collapse, but we all know you will press on, and appreciate you for being so true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.