A question regarding a song

[Ester Maria]

Somebody criticized me for this, saying that as beautiful as the song may be in and of itself, it is simply inappropriate to be sang by a mother to a child.

 

The song is

, and lyrics with translation are here.

 

I do not recall being traumatized from having been sang to this :confused:, and I do not think I ever associated the song with the relationship between my mother and me (I understood it as a sad love song).

 

Do you think that songs sang to children OUGHT to reflect a relationship between the mother and the child (i.e. the traditional lullabies), or that it is okay to sing anything nice and traditional you like to the child?

Edited January 23, 2012 by Ester Maria
found better lyrics and translation

[Mergath]

I don't think the words necessarily have to reflect the relationship, but that song does seem especially depressing. I would probably find something else, but that's just me.

[Ester Maria]

I don't think the words necessarily have to reflect the relationship, but that song does seem especially depressing. I would probably find something else, but that's just me.

Thanks for the response.

 

I only occasionally do this song, but I had no idea it would provoke a reaction it did yesterday, so I was curious.

[GinaPagnato]

It may sound beautiful (the music, that is), but I would think once a child could understand the meaning of the lyrics, they may be bothered by it and by the fact that it is THEIR mother who's singing it to them.

I think that's how I would perceive it, anyway.

[frugalmama]

I'm assuming this is being sung as a lullaby - if so then I see no problem with it. Yes, it's a little unconventional but if baby likes it then go with it!

 

FWIW - my DD's lullabies were Swing Low Sweet Chariot and Mama's don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys. Not my choice, but it's what she liked!

[Mergath]

Thanks for the response.

 

I only occasionally do this song, but I had no idea it would provoke a reaction it did yesterday, so I was curious.

 

I certainly wouldn't get all up in arms about it or anything. I don't think it's a huge deal. And just for the record, this was the song I sang as my dd's main lullaby for the first couple years of her life:

 

 

[stripe]

Next time you see that person, sing

loudly, instead (this is but one of the later covers of it). All the verses. Edited January 23, 2012 by stripe

[KnitWit]

Wonder if they sing "Rock A Bye Baby" and lull their kids to sleep with thoughts of falling out of a tree?

 

I think it's the mother's soothing voice and not the words to the song when they are so young. Now, when they look up at you and say "What the ???" then, you may wish to choose another song. :)

 

:grouphug:

[Lucy in Australia]

I've had this sort of reaction, too. We sing

, and here are the lyrics(scroll down for English). A non-Russian friend was quite aghast at the words. I still sing it :) It's part of our Russian cultural roots and history. The melody is beautiful, and it's interesting to talk about the reason for the lyrics when they're older.

[Ester Maria]

It may sound beautiful (the music, that is), but I would think once a child could understand the meaning of the lyrics, they may be bothered by it and by the fact that it is THEIR mother who's singing it to them.

I think that's how I would perceive it, anyway.

Really? It would bother you? :(

 

The song is a love song - of a "reversed" type, but still a love song in its essence - and it does not capture a mother/child relationship.

I'm assuming this is being sung as a lullaby - if so then I see no problem with it. Yes, it's a little unconventional but if baby likes it then go with it!

She likes it so far. :)

Next time you see that person, sing

loudly, instead (this is but one of the later covers of it). All the verses.

That would scare them off and they would never come by again! :lol:

[abbeyej]

It wouldn't bother me. I sing all sorts of folksongs and lullabies to my kids that are not reflective of a mother-child relationship. And sad songs and gory rhymes seem to be a tradition of childhood. ;)

[Ester Maria]

Now, when they look up at you and say "What the ???" then, you may wish to choose another song. :)

Definitely! :D

I've had this sort of reaction, too. We sing

, and here are the lyrics(scroll down for English). A non-Russian friend was quite aghast at the words. I still sing it :) It's part of our Russian cultural roots and history. The melody is beautiful, and it's interesting to talk about the reason for the lyrics when they're older.

Love the melody!

The lyrics do look daunting :tongue_smilie:, but a LOT of folk lullabies have "rough" lyrics... and fairy tales... and a lot of other folk material "for children" is actually quite scary if you look at what it is about. But, I think that is our adult perspective - I think kids typically do not mind, even as they grow to understand.

 

Thanks for the support, everyone. :)

[sgo95]

I don't see the problem. I don't have a problem with the meaning of songs unless it's truly inappropriate (e.g., foul language in lyrics or explicitly s*xual messages). I enjoy plenty of songs musically that are not strictly children's songs or mother to child lullabies. That would be depressingly limited. I agree that the song feels a little blue, but I'm assuming that your repertoire does not consist only of depressing songs, right? Sheez, she should mind her own business...

 

BTW, I got a kick out of the video because I've been listening to Ofra Haza in Deliver Us from the Prince of the Egypt lately.

[Scarlett]

I sing all sorts of songs to ds11. Well, did when he was younger. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

I sing all the verses to You are my sunshine....that is one sad song. And so is My Bonny lies over the ocean.

[BigMamaBird]

My song that I sing to my son is You Are My Sunshine. The chorus, which is what I sing, is sweet, the rest, not so uplifting. If I did sing the rest to him, I don't think he'd be traumatized, I just don't like them very much. However, if someone else chose to sing them to their kid, I wouldn't think of them as some depressed, Emo parent or anything. Just someone who liked a classic children's song.

 

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you in my arms

But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken

So I hung my head and I cried.

 

[Chorus]

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

 

I'll always love you and make you happy,

If you will only say the same.

But if you leave me and love another,

You'll regret it all some day:

 

[Chorus]

 

You told me once, dear, you really loved me

And no one else could come between.

But now you've left me and love another;

You have shattered all of my dreams:

 

[Chorus]

 

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me

When I awake my poor heart pains.

So when you come back and make me happy

I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.

 

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

Edited January 23, 2012 by BigMamaBird

[Teachin'Mine]

To me there's a big difference between You Are My Sunshine and this song, which is the one Ester Maria linked:

 

Tu madre cuando te pario

When your mother gave birth to you

Y te quito al mundo,

And brought you into the world,

Corason ella no te dio

She gave you no heart

Para amar segundo.

To love another.

 

Adio, adio querida,

Goodbye, farewell beloved,

No quero la vida,

I do not want this life -

Me l'amargates tu.

You have embittered it for me.

 

Va, buxcat' otro amor,

Go, look for another love,

Aharva otras puertas,

Go, knock on other doors,

Aspera otro ardor,

Hope for some other passion,

Que para mi sos muerta.

Because for me you are dead.

 

 

Can't imagine singing this one to anyone except an ex after a bitter breakup ... If you put $10 in the future therapy jar each time you sing it, you may be okay. :tongue_smilie: So many beautiful songs to sing - I'm sure you can find a substitute. :)

 

Didn't you mention that your baby makes a strange face when you sing? Maybe it's not your voice, but the lyrics. :lol:

[ravinlunachick]

If there were ever a chance that my kid would understand that last line, I'd never sing it. But I'm mildly superstitious that way. I'd be fine singing a song that had "questionable" lyrics in another language (that my kid didn't speak) if the melody were beautiful.

[Jay3fer]

Enh... that's Jewish lullabies for ya! Look at any of the Ashkenazi ones: Raisins and Almonds, Oyfn Pripitchik (awful rhyming translation). They're bittersweet at best - at worst, all about pain and turmoil and the heartbreak of life. I used to have Adio Querida on a CD of Sefardi music and I loved it. Many love songs have been repurposed as lullabies, as pp's have pointed out. Maybe I'll play this over and over for my kids to drive them crazy, like I did with

a few weeks ago... I love Ladino!

[J-rap]

I'm sure I'd love the melody, but probably wouldn't sing the lyrics once I really thought about it. (Unless I sang them in Hebrew and my child didn't understand!). I know other children's songs also have strange/sad meanings, such as Ring Around the Rosie. Perhaps when they were older I would sing it -- if it really were beautiful and we could talk about it, but not when they were young.

[regentrude]

[quote name=Ester Maria;3535510

Do you think that songs sang to children OUGHT to reflect a relationship between the mother and the child (i.e. the traditional lullabies)' date=' or that it is okay to sing anything nice and traditional you like to the child?[/quote]

 

Anything!

My mother is a professional singer, and I grew up with a lot of music - Lieder, ballads, opera arias, folk songs. It would never have occurred to me to take any lyrics personally. In fact, some of my favorites as a child were definitely very sad folklore love songs.

[stripe]

I recently heard an interview with a lady who sings to hospice patients. The number one request is You Are My Sunshine.

[Ester Maria]

I suppose it could bother some kids once they were old enough to understand the lyrics; I'd never sing those words to my child, since they seem way too creepy/depressing for me!

My mother, though, sang really sad songs to me as a child. I swear, nearly every one of them had some child starving, some one dieing, or some such tragedy. Of course, then God would enter the song and seem to make it better..I think they were just the songs she grew up hearing. Once I was older, though, it became really depressing to fall asleep listening to a cr@ppy song about a little girl dieing.

What if the child did not understand the lyrics? Or if she could only vaguely understand them? I only loosely understood this song when I was a small child.

 

TM, how about this "version" (I modified it in quote):

Tu madre cuando te

 

When your mother you

 

Y te al mundo' date='

[b']And you into the world,[/b]

ella no te dio

She gave you no

Para amar segundo.

To love SECOND.

 

 

 

 

Adio, adio

Goodbye, farewell

No la vida,

I not life -

Me tu.

You me.

 

 

 

 

Va, amor,

Go love,

puertas,

doors,

Aspera ardor,

Hope ARDOUR,

Que para mi muerta.

WHICH for me dead.

 

 

 

This is, maybe, what realistically a small child could understand, if she tried to understand?

 

I can even see how one could conjure up that ardor is dead for whoever sings the song, or something like that.

If you put $10 in the future therapy jar each time you sing it, you may be okay. :tongue_smilie: [...]

Didn't you mention that your baby makes a strange face when you sing? Maybe it's not your voice, but the lyrics. :lol:

Therapy jar... :lol:

It really is the voice, believe me (mixed with my ambitiousness in repertory). Although maybe - maybe - I got a bit better.

Enh... that's Jewish lullabies for ya! Look at any of the Ashkenazi ones: Raisins and Almonds, Oyfn Pripitchik (awful rhyming translation). They're bittersweet at best - at worst, all about pain and turmoil and the heartbreak of life. I used to have Adio Querida on a CD of Sefardi music and I loved it. Many love songs have been repurposed as lullabies, as pp's have pointed out. Maybe I'll play this over and over for my kids to drive them crazy, like I did with

a few weeks ago... I love Ladino!

My mother is Sephardic. :001_smile: She speaks something which is basically a mix of Ladino / Spanish with Venetian and Italian; my grandparents spoke Ladino. There is a family "legend" of whose veracity I am not entirely convinced, but according to which somebody, some poorly identified relative living somewhere still has the keys of the house in Spain before the expulsion.

[nukeswife]

I think the words are kind of creepy, but if your child doesn't understand them because you're singing in another language, then do whatever floats your boat.

 

I really can't say much because when my oldest was a newborn my mom was visiting and while dh and I were out the baby got fussy and the only song my mom could think of was "ding dong the witch is dead" from the wizard of Oz. It took me about a month to find something else that would calm him down. Imagine the looks I got when out in public singing Ding dong the witch is dead to my baby boy. Luckily I got him hooked on House at Pooh Corner instead.

 

Oh and my daughter some how came out of my womb a Matchbox Twenty fan. We couldn't even sing to her, we had to play any song by Matchbox Twenty or sung by Rob Thomas for her to calm down. She still at age 10 loves them and says their song "Real World" is her song.

[myfunnybunch]

If you think it is beautiful, sing it.

 

You are singing it for your child, sharing something you think is valuable for its loveliness, not singing it as a personal message TO the child. Music is a precious gift to share.

 

Cat

[ChrisB]

How about All the Pretty Little Horses? It is haunting and beautiful, but the premise of the song is quite disturbing. I still sing it, but not the full version.

[ChrisB]

If you think it is beautiful, sing it.

 

You are singing it for your child, sharing something you think is valuable for its loveliness, not singing it as a personal message TO the child. Music is a precious gift to share.

 

Cat

And...:iagree:

[alpidarkomama]

One of my favorites. I sang/sing all kinds of Ladino songs to my kids. Yum. I wouldn't hold back. :)

[dangermom]

If it's a song you like to sing to your kid, then go for it.

 

I'm afraid half my baby song repertoire is made up of old drinking songs. And I'm a Mormon who has never imbibed a drop!

[MrsBasil]

If you think it is beautiful, sing it.

 

You are singing it for your child, sharing something you think is valuable for its loveliness, not singing it as a personal message TO the child. Music is a precious gift to share.

 

Cat

 

:iagree:

 

I didn't know any lullabies when poor DS was born so he got Woody Guthrie, Jimmy Buffet, and Take Me Out To the Ballgame.

 

My mother sang Swinging on a Star to me and it took me ages to work out the lyrics and what they meant. I just liked when she sang. I've started singing that to DD.

[IsabelC]

I would have to ditch 3/4 of my repertoire if I vetoed songs that weren't strictly appropriate in every possible way. Somehow, strange/dark lyrics seem OK when they're in classical or folk music. I sing madrigals and they can be pretty non child friendly ... but pop music is different - I became One Of Those Parents Who Censor the Radio the first time I heard Wynter Gordon's Dirty Talk, now those are some lyrics I don't want to have to explain in detail to my small people.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I sang and hummed my little one to sleep to the Long Black Veil for years. I loved it, she loved it and the lyrics didn't matter to either of us.

I could care less if someone else thought it was appropriate or not.

It is a beautiful, plaintive, Irish song and I just loved the way it sounds.:D

 

I also loved Mo Ghile Mear on that album (Chieftains, Long Black Veil) and used that one too.

[Mabelen]

My vote goes to keep singing the song! It is beautiful and on top of that you are passing on your family cultural heritage; that is such a gift... don't be put off! Also, time to start looking for the keys to the house in Spain! Growing up there I always thought it was such a neat thing Sephardic Jews did that!