serendipitous journey Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 .... DH thinks Bot-bot would benefit from preschool when he's 2 1/2 or 3, and that my older son Button would strongly benefit from some more-focused time, esp. 'cause he's accelerated; he'd be in 2nd or 3rd grade at that time. But I don't want to send my baby away! ;) he's so much fun. Button was in preschool b/c I worked (was in grad school) when he was that age; he went to a very gentle Montessori school 3 mornings a week. So the idea would be to get Bot-bot on the waiting list now ... Button is moving through his school at a very satisfactory rate; though it is true I'd love to have more time to read aloud with him, and hit history, science, and living math & art books more deeply. I'm not worried about losing ground on his basics -- writing, math, reading -- but Bob-bot just hit 18 mos with a vengeance, and is an energetic little fellow; we are not able to do much depth on our "subjects". Button would really enjoy having more time to work together on reading and on projects. Currently our schedule is this: block 1: independent work after breakfast. Button does some handwriting, math facts, 1 or 2 math review problems. Then a break of some sort. block 2: Writing With Ease; grammar; spelling; often some math instruction/problems (newish math, but not anything too hard to do with baby underfoot) during snacks/lunch: Bible story, poems, memory work review (there isn't much memory work yet, largely math/science related) block 3: as baby goes down, copywork and maybe math facts. When baby naps, we do our reading aloud; any math requiring more intensive teaching; and ideally a topic, science or history usually. before bed: read 30 min. We should be able to sustain this, b/c baby will have quiet time even if he drops his nap; but it might put me without any break from the children during the afternoon (right now we work for 1 hour, then Button has quiet time for the second hour of baby's nap). any thoughts? I don't suppose putting the baby on the waiting list will cause any harm, but I don't like the idea ... even though the little one is about as well-suited, temperamentally, to preschool as a child could be so I am sure it would be fine. Do you think it would make a big difference to Button's educational experience? Is that the most important element here (in y'all's humble opinion :))? thanks in advance ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I advise re-reading the first few chapters of TWTM. :) Jessie had three children, and Susan has four, and they discuss that issue in the book. Many of us WTM'ers have housefuls of children and don't send any to school just to homeschool the older one without distraction. If you want to send Bot-bot to preschool, do it because you think it's best for Bot-bot. Don't do it for Button's sake until you've asked some more questions about the logistics of homeschooling more than one child. There are tips and tricks to be learned, and you're gaining on-the-job experience right now. You only have two children, and they are both little. You can totally teach and care for them both. Another thing to consider: Bot-bot's current temperament might predict to you that he'll do well in preschool, but he is Button's brother. If Button is accelerated and best served learning at home, there's a pretty good chance Bot-bot will also be accelerated. You're thinking you don't want to send him now. Imagine how you'll feel when he's multiplying numbers and reading at three. You won't think preschool is a good fit if he's very far ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roanna Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I am definitely not a pro at this but I am in a similar situation and this is what has helped me... As suggested by a veteran friend with 5 kids ...keep a box of toys away just for school time that can keep the little one interested and only bring it out during that time. ...another thing to think about is my 2 year old daughter turned around out of the blue , pointed at the map and said That's America! We haven't been studying that but somewhere along the way of teaching my 5 year old she picked that up. Your little one is also absorbing too. ...if there are things your older is excelling at he will most likely ask to do more of it and if he's that interested some might be able to be given to him independently , just personal experience. ...Other things that you are wanting to introduce/drill can be done after a good one on one time with the little one. after he has had you for a while he can play independently for a bit. We also read about geography and Bible things at the table and it is almost always interrupted by the 2 year old. She yells excitedly about any pictures and I have to pause etc but she makes only take a few minutes more in the long run, sometimes we get a good kick out of her comments. She has also gotten more used to being at the table for 15 minute stretches. Usually just 2 a day while I read certain subjects. We are getting more and more used to it and I think she is getting freebie learning in the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 18 months is hard!!!!! That's when we started homeschooling last year - DS3 was 18 months old. Whew! I figured if I could do it with him at that age, I was good to go, because he'd just get better. I was right! :D Now at 2.5, it's not nearly so bad. He's able to go play on his own, or I can hand him Playdoh or Color Wonders to do on his own. Last year, most of our school was done during DS3's nap time. We had 2-3 subjects we'd do right after breakfast. This year, most of our school is in the morning, with only a couple things during nap time (and sometimes we're done before lunch!). I think by time Bot-Bot is preschool age, you won't need him out of the house. NOW is when it'd probably be helpful. :lol: But Button is young, and even though he's accelerated, you don't need to focus on him to the detriment of the other children. In fact, being accelerated, I think you can relax a bit more and focus LESS because he's probably able to learn through reading, right? I've made history and science semi-independent subjects for DS1, since he reads to learn very well. The 2nd grader that is reading at 2nd grade level can't do that yet - they require more parent focus and attention. Now perhaps in high school, I might need to focus more as the courses get advanced, but at this stage? Nah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Have you thought of hiring a mother's helper instead? See if there is another homeschool family nearby with a responsible girl. She might be able to come over for an hour or so daily (if she lives in within walking distance) and help entertain your little one. If you can budget the money for preschool - think how else you could use that money to help you out. Perhaps having help with the chores/housework would make a difference with your stress level. Just some thoughts... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I've only got one child, but if I were to have another one, I'd send them to preschool if I could find the right one. DD enjoyed her nice, relaxed preschool where they'd let her wander between multiple rooms and do the projects, and I don't regret sending her in the slightest. Kindergarten...probably wouldn't do that again, because that was when DD really started to get frustrated, but I think preschool really benefited her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I put the younger one in preschool when he was 2.75yo and my older one was in 3rd grade. I was fortunate in that my husband could drop him off and pick him up, so it gave me four solid hours with the older one. He attended preschool for three years. My older son has learning disabilities (and is gifted) and so having that distraction free time together every day really helped him. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if preschool was a good thing for the younger one. It was a Montessori school, but by the time he entered he was already reading. He was still required to move through the sequence of literacy materials that the non-reading kids did. I think he was bored out of his mind. I know he was relieved when I didn't send him to kindergarten there and began homeschooling him full time. I think if I had to do it over again, I would try to find a non-academic preschool for him instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 .... DH thinks Bot-bot would benefit from preschool when he's 2 1/2 or 3, and that my older son Button would strongly benefit from some more-focused time, esp. 'cause he's accelerated; he'd be in 2nd or 3rd grade at that time. But I don't want to send my baby away! ;) he's so much fun. Button was in preschool b/c I worked (was in grad school) when he was that age; he went to a very gentle Montessori school 3 mornings a week. So the idea would be to get Bot-bot on the waiting list now ... Button is moving through his school at a very satisfactory rate; though it is true I'd love to have more time to read aloud with him, and hit history, science, and living math & art books more deeply. I'm not worried about losing ground on his basics -- writing, math, reading -- but Bob-bot just hit 18 mos with a vengeance, and is an energetic little fellow; we are not able to do much depth on our "subjects". Button would really enjoy having more time to work together on reading and on projects. Currently our schedule is this: block 1: independent work after breakfast. Button does some handwriting, math facts, 1 or 2 math review problems. Then a break of some sort. block 2: Writing With Ease; grammar; spelling; often some math instruction/problems (newish math, but not anything too hard to do with baby underfoot) during snacks/lunch: Bible story, poems, memory work review (there isn't much memory work yet, largely math/science related) block 3: as baby goes down, copywork and maybe math facts. When baby naps, we do our reading aloud; any math requiring more intensive teaching; and ideally a topic, science or history usually. before bed: read 30 min. We should be able to sustain this, b/c baby will have quiet time even if he drops his nap; but it might put me without any break from the children during the afternoon (right now we work for 1 hour, then Button has quiet time for the second hour of baby's nap). any thoughts? I don't suppose putting the baby on the waiting list will cause any harm, but I don't like the idea ... even though the little one is about as well-suited, temperamentally, to preschool as a child could be so I am sure it would be fine. Do you think it would make a big difference to Button's educational experience? Is that the most important element here (in y'all's humble opinion :))? thanks in advance ... The answer to the question "do you need to in order to provide your oldest a high quality education" is no. That is a completely different question than whether you should or shouldn't. FWIW, there is no way I would ever send one of my little ones to pre-school. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 If you want to send Bot-bot to preschool, do it because you think it's best for Bot-bot. Don't do it for Button's sake until you've asked some more questions about the logistics of homeschooling more than one child. There are tips and tricks to be learned, and you're gaining on-the-job experience right now. I agree. I would exhaust other options first if you plan to homeschool them both. Think of it this way: your older son has needs, but your younger son has needs too. If you send him to preschool, it would be to address his specific needs, not to - if you excuse my honesty in wording things - get him out of your older son's way. :D Sometimes we cannot cater to one's child's needs perfectly because other children are in the picture, but more often than not, with a bit more complicated logistics, we can reach optimal solutions which work well for all of them. Pretty much anyone who has more than one child has encountered this "optimization" problem at some stage, not only related to schooling. The fact is that things are a bit less smooth and require a bit more thinking when you have more - and these are situations that you will keep in encountering as they grow up. (If it is the best choice *for your little one and his specific needs*, I would do it in a heartbeat, of course.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 FWIW, there is no way I would ever send one of my little ones to pre-school. ;) Why not? My youngest (3 yo) is going to a wonderful preschool 2 mornings a week and it's been really positive for him and a nice break for the rest of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Like other posters have said, you don't really need to put the little one it to be able to homeschool the oldest. Whether or not you think it's best for him is a different question. Another issue no one has mentioned yet is that for us the sibling relationship is one of the benefits of homeschooling. My three fight and bicker like any siblings but when it gets down to it I think their relationship is better for being together much of the time. My third is a particularly wild child and I have thought about preschool for her on bad days but in the end I always come back to the idea that we'd miss her being part of our days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I don't know of any preschool programs around here that are only 2 mornings a week. The big one in my city runs from 9 - 3:15 five days per week. Two days per week at least sounds sane. My fear with sending my kids to preschool was that they would end up loving it and then I'd have to tell them they were no longer going to school. At that age it is probably pretty fun for many kids. Kids are told continuously how exciting it is that they are soon going to K with their friends. But, again, 2 mornings per week probably wouldn't do that. Another big reason I don't like preschool is that I don't like being told what to do. Around here they tell you what to feed your kid, how to dress them, how often to read to them, etc. That just irks the carp out of me. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. :D He was supposed to go 3 mornings a week, but then they only had 2 mornings available. I had the same reaction with the guidelines for lunches, but then I got over it! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Another issue no one has mentioned yet is that for us the sibling relationship is one of the benefits of homeschooling. My three fight and bicker like any siblings but when it gets down to it I think their relationship is better for being together much of the time. My third is a particularly wild child and I have thought about preschool for her on bad days but in the end I always come back to the idea that we'd miss her being part of our days. When I sent my oldest to school (K and half of 1st grade - we didn't do preschool), my kids fought much more than they do now. It was ridiculous! I never would have even thought of it messing with their relationship, but it really did. Thankfully, I brought my son home, and all is well and normal again. :D Personally, I don't send my kids to preschool because a) I feel like it's a waste of money for my family, since it'd basically be daycare that I really don't need, b) I don't like my kids learning bad habits from other children (very impressionable at that age), and c) I HATE HATE HATE getting up and getting everyone ready to go and be at a school by a certain time. BTDT with K and 1st, and in 1st, DS1 was tardy 12 times! :tongue_smilie: Funny thing is, we often start homeschool at 8am on the dot, but I don't have to get DS2 ready to go somewhere, and that makes a HUGE difference. ;) That article about a VSL kid getting ready to leave the house? That's DS2. :glare: Plus if you're planning to homeschool, you do have to consider that your kid might not want to come home after having so much fun at preschool. My son LOVED Kindergarten, even though academically it was quite boring (he could already read at a 2nd grade level when he started, and they were using Saxon Math K while he was figuring out multiplication on his own). If I had tried to bring him home after K, I think I would have met with resistance. The teacher made even the most boring things fun. She was an excellent teacher. Now 1st grade was different, because now the fun party aspect was gone, and it was more like "real school". So now he was bored and NOT having any fun. When I asked him if he'd like to homeschool, I was met with a resounding "YES!" He hasn't missed school at all. I know I couldn't have taken him from PreK to homeschool with such ease, since PreK would have been a fun playtime all morning (PreK is usually half day here). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Do you have a Montessori Preschool in your area? Montessori dovetails nicely with homeschooling. I wouldn't send one of mine to the typical public-schooly preschools in my area, but my son attended a wonderful, homey, quiet Montessori program when he was 3 and 4. You don't *have* to put your little one in preschool to succeed at homeschooling, but it sure as heck makes life easier. I really enjoyed the focus I could have with him gone for the morning. We had to pull him out when he was 5 due to finances changing, but I would do it again with my daughter in a heartbeat given the opportunity. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairProspects Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Do you have a Montessori Preschool in your area? Montessori dovetails nicely with homeschooling. I wouldn't send one of mine to the typical public-schooly preschools in my area, but my son attended a wonderful, homey, quiet Montessori program when he was 3 and 4. You don't *have* to put your little one in preschool to succeed at homeschooling, but it sure as heck makes life easier. I really enjoyed the focus I could have with him gone for the morning. We had to pull him out when he was 5 due to finances changing, but I would do it again with my daughter in a heartbeat given the opportunity. Barb :iagree:My ds 2 goes to a fabulous Montessori preschool two mornings a week that has become a haven for young homeschoolers in the area. The teacher works with homeschooling moms on their schedules and holds conferences to match up observations. It is almost like a cottage school and has been a wonderful experience. I carpool with a friend so I'm only doing one small trip, and I do the pick-ups so I don't have to get everyone out of the house in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenbrdsly Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 We love Montessori too. I can't wait for my DD to turn three and she will go three days/three hours a week. Right now we do a mommy and me class through the community college for two year olds. It is one day a week for two hours. I really like it because they do crazy messy things with paint, shaving cream, water etc. and so she gets the messy fix without having it in my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 (edited) Why not? My youngest (3 yo) is going to a wonderful preschool 2 mornings a week and it's been really positive for him and a nice break for the rest of us. Your response reminds me of the non-homeschooler's response to learning that I homeschool, "Ew, I could never do that" and then they go on to list all the reasons why their kids go to school with the implication that I am wrong in my not accepting ps education as the correct path. ;) It is a personal POV. I am not making a comment on your sending your child to preschool. I am philosophically opposed to preschool. I believe the best place for my little children is with me, their mother. :001_smile: I also am not an advocate of "pre-school" academics, etc. Nor am I an advocate of sending my older kids to government controlled institutions. ;) Edited January 2, 2012 by 8FillTheHeart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Your response reminds me of the non-homeschooler's response to learning that I homeschool, "Ew, I could never do that" and then they go on to list all the reasons why their kids go to school with the implication that I am wrong in my not accepting ps education as the correct path. ;) It is a personal POV. I am not making a comment on your sending your child to preschool. I am philosophically opposed to preschool. I believe the best place for my little children is with me, their mother. :001_smile: I also am not an advocate of "pre-school" academics, etc. Nor am I an advocate of sending my older kids to government controlled institutions. ;) It was a big deal for me to even think of putting any of my children in any kind of school. However, this child has a severe speech delay, as do his twin brothers whom he spends most of his time with. Since all of us were doing schoolwork during the day, he was basically just playing by himself. With just 2 mornings a week of preschool (plus the speech therapy he was having anyway), his speech has really improved. And he loves it. He is happier, we are happier, it makes our family better now that he is more understandable. My son spends about 6 hours a week at preschool, and there are 168 hours in a week. It's not like he's at a day care for most of his waking hours. I am still his primary caretaker. I understand that it's your personal POV. My personal POV is now that in some situations, preschool can be very beneficial and should be considered separately from the institution of government schooling. Your response of "I would never send my child to preschool" sounds more like "I could never homeschool" than me just asking you why. We are both Catholic moms with large families and preschool has been beneficial in our case so I was curious about your reasoning. That's all. I don't know why it lumped me in with anti-homeschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 I'm not a big fan of preschool unless the child has needs that cannot be met in the home. My youngest has been in an Early Intervention preschool for autism since last March and it has been wonderful for her. They have a 1:2 teacher:student ratio so that's actually lower than what she'd have here at home. The activities are tailored to her individual learning goals and she gets twice per week pullouts each for Speech & Occupational therapy. There's no way I could duplicate that in the home without putting the older two into a full-time classroom-based school and spending big bucks for private ST & OT. If I had a neuro-typical 3 y.o., she'd be at home like her siblings were at that age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 They have a 1:2 teacher:student ratio so that's actually lower than what she'd have here at home. In my son's classroom, the ratio is 14 children to 2 adults. Since I have 6 dc at home, it's pretty similar, just like your house! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 My personal POV is now that in some situations, preschool can be very beneficial and should be considered separately from the institution of government schooling. Your response of "I would never send my child to preschool" sounds more like "I could never homeschool" than me just asking you why. We are both Catholic moms with large families and preschool has been beneficial in our case so I was curious about your reasoning. That's all. I don't know why it lumped me in with anti-homeschoolers. It is simply the way your post struck me when I read your question b/c my response was not a commentary, simply a statement of my beliefs, and you didn't simply ask why, you stated why it was a good choice in response to my comment. FWIW, I worked in preschools for yrs during college. Our oldest went to a 2 morning a wk program after our dd was stillborn full-term and I was in a high risk pregnancy w/ds #2. My decision is not uninformed. It is simply not an option for my little ones. I do agree with Crimson Wife, though, that if it were a therapeutic program for a disabled child I would more seriously consider it. FWIW, my response is still not a commentary on anyone else's choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serendipitous journey Posted January 2, 2012 Author Share Posted January 2, 2012 ... I've been following everybody's responses to my OP, but only just now found a moment to reply ... THANK YOU so much for this conversation. It's really helped center me on what my goals are for my family, and also clarified the issues in my mind so I was able to have a much more productive conversation with DH. It turns out that his main concern was neither for Button nor Bot-bot, but for me, since he sees me only having less time as the baby's nap shortens and I am pretty busy as is. Partly he's concerned because I'm such an introvert and benefit from a little space, and also I think he'd like me to have more energy to follow his career and help a bit more with his work (he's so appreciative of any help I give, so there's not pressure, but he seems to value my input :)). Also, my in-laws live right upstairs, and his mother will Not Be Happy about Bob-bot staying home through preschool. She's only just getting used to Button's homeschooling ... DH suggested that I actively enrich Bot-bot's language & math skills so that my MIL will think he's "too advanced" for preschool :lol:. No worries though: there will be no academic pressure on toddlers around here! So, since I'd miss Bot-bot; hate having to work around the preschool schedule; and don't think Bot-bot will especially benefit from preschool over being home with us, I feel good passing the waiting list by. :):):) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 I was able to have a much more productive conversation with DH. It turns out that his main concern was neither for Button nor Bot-bot, but for me, since he sees me only having less time as the baby's nap shortens and I am pretty busy as is. Tell him he's welcome to take the kids for a few hours to run errands while you have some alone time at home. Or he can watch the kids while you go off for a few hours to pamper yourself. ;) Every Saturday, DH takes at least 2 of the boys to Lowe's, BBQ lunch, and any other "manly errands" (auto parts store, etc.) that he needs to do. The baby is starting to go sometimes too, if DH doesn't need to take the truck (taking the truck involves installing car seats and such, whereas if just the big boys are going, two booster seats are enough). So if he's taking the van, he'll take all 3 kids. Then I get some alone time. :D Also, on/near holidays/birthdays, he'll often take the boys to an afternoon movie (so it coincides with youngest's nap, since he isn't ready to go to a movie theater yet). And once every few months, they take a trip out of town to go to a zoo or something, staying the night in a hotel (he travels enough to have points for free stays). DS2 LOVES that. He gets all giddy about getting to stay up and watch Clone Wars in a hotel. :lol: Homeschooling does require Mommy to be "on" all the time, and it is exhausting, especially when you have more kids! They do get older though, and eventually they don't require Mommy to do everything for them, so Mommy gets a little more relax time. Oh, and they eventually sleep through the night. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in SW WA Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 My dds went to preschool briefly when I homeschooled my olders in middle school. The main reason: I don't do crafts. I don't do messes. They loved their little preschool and the cute crafts, stories, play & songs. It was a luxury and I was so thankful for 3 mornings/week of quiet time for Latin, math and literature with my olders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 I have not sent either of my older two (6 and almost 4) to preschool and haven't really thought much at all about the 17 mo yet, but *if* you live somewhere where you have to get on waiting lists 18mos in advance, *and* if you think that there is any chance whatsoever, however remote, that you *might* consider preschool in the future, I would get on the waiting list now and then not think about it again for another year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serendipitous journey Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 Tell him he's welcome to take the kids for a few hours to run errands while you have some alone time at home. Or he can watch the kids while you go off for a few hours to pamper yourself. ;) ... I can't complain at all; he does take the little ones on Saturday, 'cept when he's traveling. He NEVER takes them out of town though -- that sounds so decadent! My dds went to preschool briefly when I homeschooled my olders in middle school. The main reason: I don't do crafts. I don't do messes. :lol::lol::lol: I love this! it just made me happy ... I have not sent either of my older two (6 and almost 4) to preschool and haven't really thought much at all about the 17 mo yet, but *if* you live somewhere where you have to get on waiting lists 18mos in advance, *and* if you think that there is any chance whatsoever, however remote, that you *might* consider preschool in the future, I would get on the waiting list now and then not think about it again for another year. ... a good point. will consider it ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.