Why would someone homeschool one but

[iquilt]

Not the other? Two children in the family but only one is getting pulled out to homeschool?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I could see many, many reasons for this.

 

When my kids were in school, ds1 had not-so-good teachers for K and 1st grade. Ds2 had a wonderful K teacher. If I had pulled ds1 out during that time, I might have left ds2 in, just so he could continue to have that teacher, who I think was a good influence on him.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

Perhaps the other child's education is going along just fine as is?

 

Not everyone who homeschools does so out of a blanket reaction against traditional education systems or a religious obligation. Some do it to best suit the needs of an individual child. Some start with one child and eventually include others as their confidence increases.

[iquilt]

Thanks-I am in a different place than this friend but would like to understand her new position without offending.

[NotSoObvious]

I'm thinking of doing that! I have one twin with special needs that I want to keep home- she's the reason we homeschool. The other twin would do well at school and loves the social aspect. We just moved into a fabulous school district and she could go next year for 5th, which would give her a chance to make friends before middle school, if we decide that's the direction for her.

 

Anyhow, so we've been thinking about just sending one back next year. The only problem with that, is that it really ties us to the school calendar. Plus, part of the reason homeschooling works so well for us is that the girls learn together, then they talk and "play out" their learning throughout the day. So, it would be a disservice to the other twin to send one twin back.

 

Does that make sense? That would be our reason if we do.

[ErinE]

Like prior posters said, ps may work for one child but not another. Although a lifetime homeschooler, a friend is sending her dd to ps because her child was unwilling to finish her school at home. My friend is hoping for one of two things: dd wants to start homeschooling again or dd is motivated by ps environment to complete her work. Either way, the priority is for her child to get an education.

[Cassy]

When we started homeschooling I just pulled out DS10 because he was having problems at school. DS12 was doing well and was happy at school. I later tried to persuade DS12 to be homeschooled, but he didn't want to, at all, so I left him.

 

Since then DS7 and DS4 have become part of our homeschool, and DS10 will be off to join DS12 at our local school next September.

 

I think it's important to do what's right for each child at any particular moment in time, and not become too rigid about you think the ideal is.

 

Best wishes

 

Cassy

[creekland]

My youngest wanted to return to school for high school. Oldest and middle were happy homeschooling (they had a choice too). We let them choose.

 

Right now I have a senior homeschooling and a sophomore in our local public school and I'm supplementing his education for math/science - even English this year as we live in an academically poor school district.

[iquilt]

Just wanted to say that I do not think I'm too rigid in what we do, or that other educational options are never good. I think since our oldest attended ps for only two months I am in no position to compare, but I also believe we are doing the best for each of our children. I also would not want to be tied to a school calendar as we would not be able to travel with dh or take advantage of other opportunities.

[NanceXToo]

I have a friend who had two kids in public school. She pulled one out to homeschool because he wasn't happy or thriving in school. She left the other in because she enjoyed school and wanted to stay. (Of course, now that it's been several months and she's had a chance to see how many awesome field trips we do with our homeschool group and such she's been starting to reconsider that haha).

[Ester Maria]

Different kids, different needs and different priorities. :001_smile:

 

That pretty much sums it up, I think.

[jen3kids]

I originally started homeschooling for my oldest ds in grade 3. I pulled out dd (grade 1) at the same time. Younger ds was in a wonderful nursery school 2 mornings a week.

 

Older ds was miserable at home and our relationship suffered. He returned to public school for gr.5, attended a private middle school and is now in a public high school and loving it.

 

Dd continued to be home schooled until 2/3 way through grade 6. She finished that year at a Montessori School and is in middle school there and loves it. It is perfect for her.

 

Younger ds has been home schooled since k, with a 3 week attempt at public school last fall. He wants to try middle school, so we're looking into that for next year.

 

In my situation, my 3 kids are very different and right now they are each in the best place, educationally and emotionally, for them right now. I am very lucky to be able to have these educational choices.

[RoughCollie]

I started out homeschooling DS2 only. We took him out of PS in the middle of first grade because he was not doing well in school. His brothers stayed until the end of that school year, and I taught them to read at home. DD wasn't homeschooled until 4th grade.

 

DH was the sticking point -- he went along with the idea of me homeschooling the kids until the boys were 5, and then he insisted they go to PS. What changed his mind was that I was spending so much time teaching the boys individually at home after school, that it was ridiculous.

 

I took DD out in 4th grade so she would not be in PS for the years in which I was afraid she would grow up too fast and learn to conform. Sure enough, many other girls were wearing what I thought was unsuitable clothing for an elementary school student, and some started wearing makeup in 5th grade. They quit playing outside and had social calendars to keep track of their activities. They were turning into snobbish Stepford girls. I wanted DD to be herself and to be able to think and stand up for herself, and she has done that.

 

I also didn't like the way the teachers and staff treated me like they were in charge of my kids and knew more about what they needed than I did. Once my kids were in school, it was like I was the caretaker and the school employees were the parents. That angered me quite a bit because I don't like anyone shoving their ignorant noses into my business.

 

The other parents did not mind this. They fell right into place with a program I heartily disagreed with. Once I took DS2 out of school, I was routinely questioned at the bus stop about why I would homeschool. It boiled down to this: I would not have time to go shopping and out to lunch with my friends if that wonderful school didn't vacuum up my kids every morning. It was like talking to a bunch of sheep. Stepford sheep.

 

The school system was great, very well funded with high taxes, and the parents were very much involved in fund-raising. If it were transplanted here, it would be a ritzy private school, comparatively speaking, in every way -- quality of teaching, students willingness to learn, the food served at lunch.

 

Here, the high school has had a paper on its front door since summer 2009. It says that by 2016, their goal is that most sophomores will be able to read at grade level. The cafeteria still thinks catsup is a vegetable, fried food is king, and white rice and iceberg lettuce are staples. Most students are not interested in learning. Even at the highest level of classes, students still read out loud in class because otherwise very few would read the assigned books.

 

Three of my kids attend school there because they want to. The people are great -- very friendly and welcoming, and not snobbish. The teachers seem to do their best within that system, and are approachable and helpful. I told my kids that they can do well in any school system by simply learning all the materials given to them, whether the teacher requires them to or not. By learning, I mean putting that information into their long term memories. They've made some good, intelligent friends because they read books and have excellent vocabularies, so everyone assumes they are geniuses.

Edited December 30, 2011 by RoughCollie

[Pamela H in Texas]

If (when?) I pull the littles, it will almost definitely be one at a time. Our situation is so weird that I can't imagine anyone else has it, but basically it comes down to what is best for each individual child as well as for the family as a whole.

 

BTW, had our circumstances been different at a specific time, we would have put ds into school though it never crossed our minds to do that with dd. Different kids have different needs. It didn't work because of circumstances; but in a more normal situation, I most certainly would have done it at a certain point.

[Heather in Neverland]

Ds#1 was homeschooled exclusively through 5th grade. I fully intended to homeschool all my children all the way through.

 

Then I got the job as a principal at Christian international school in Malaysia. DS#1 started 6th grade there and ds#2 started kindy.

 

Ds#1 never really took to "group schooling" and after two years we pulled him back out and he is homeschooling again (yes, even though I am the principal).

 

Ds #2 has never been homeschooled, has been in my school for 3 years now and is thriving. We will most likely start dd at the school when she is old enough and see how she does.

 

They both are getting what they need. One size does NOT fit all.

[houseofkids&pets]

I have three children who are all very different. I am only homeschooling ds8 at this point. We knew that he was struggling academically in school and it was really affecting his self-esteem. Unfortunately, in ps, he was getting the "band aid" approach in first grade. He received some extra support, but wasn't far enough behind according to all of their tests to get an IEP. We pulled him out of ps last year after one month in second grade. By last June, I realized that he was not just delayed, something was seriously wrong. Private testing revealed that he has dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia. So, we will continue to homeschool him as he is making great progress one-on-one at home with a program that is individualized to his needs/strengths.

 

I have older twins in ps. Dd 11 wants to stay with her friends and she is excelling academically, so we did not remove her. Ds11 has autism and receives a specialized program with a variety of different therapies. I don't feel that I could adequately meet his needs at home, especially with his younger brother requiring so much support.

 

We did not choose to homeschool for religious reasons. We had to do it for our youngest since he was not learning in a large group setting. There is a special school in our area for kids with learning disabilities, but it is for grades 5-12. They use Wilson Reading, as well as other research based programs, with their students. It is really expensive, but we are hoping to send ds8 there when he is old enough. He will not return to ps.

[iquilt]

Thank you for all of the thoughtful replies! I feel that I can understand better my friend's situation. Her oldest has only ever known ps and does fine but her youngest has always struggled with getting bored in school. I appreciate the insights!

[Night Elf]

At one time, I had two in school and one at home. I treat them individually and act accordingly to their specific needs. What is good for one isn't necessarily good for another. It worked fine for our family.

[mom2scouts]

I still have three kids at home, but I'm only homeschooling one of them right now. I have a 16 year old in high school. He's very social and loves to go to school. Marching band, soccer, and seeing his friends are all very high on his list of important things in his life. He would consider homeschooling to be punishment. I also have a preschooler. She goes to preschool a few days a week for a couple of hours a day. It's the same preschool and the same TEACHER who taught all my other kids from my 22 year old on down. She's happy there and she will join our homeschool next year. I'm homeschooling my 9 year old son. He went to public school for K and 1st. He hated school in first grade and knew more in some subjects than his teacher. He developed severe anxiety problems that caused other children to tease him. It was a downward spiral, so I pulled him to homeschool. He loves homeschooling and it's going well.

 

I also have a friend who has always homeschooled. She takes foster children and has 9 children right now, including a newborn. She felt she was shortchanging her high school aged children. When she found a small, Christian school that she really liked, several of the children wanted to go to the school. She's using both private school and homeschool right now. I think there are many possible reasons why someone would homeschool some children and not the others.

[Denisemomof4]

one child thriving in school, the other needs more attention or needs to get out of the school environment?

 

I am only homeschooling two kids now. My eldest son is in college, younger son a junior in high school. I am schooling my two dd's and never intend to put them in school. One does all online schooling because she's a severe challenge due to her behavioral issues, the other I do everything with. I have many teacher intensive choices with her and she is a joy to teach.

 

Different kids, different needs, and sometimes the teacher needs to do what is best for HER. I'm so glad I left the school battle behind with my dd who is doing the online schooling.

[Tarreymere]

Been there, done that.

Sometimes it is just the best way to educate that particular child, and it may be hard to explain to a diehard homeschooling friend. In my case, I've had a couple of kids who just would not learn at home and needed to be in a more structured environment with outside accountability. Trying to teach them turned into more of a battle of wills than anything else, and it was not a positive thing for either of us.

[Haiku]

Two of my kids are homeschooled. One goes to school. School is the best fit for her.

 

Tara

[venusmom]

Different kids, different needs and different priorities. :001_smile:

 

That pretty much sums it up, I think.

 

:iagree: I know it's been said before, but I really wish we had a like button for forums!!!

[Tap]

After homeschooling my two older kids, I do not want to homeschool dd. She has special needs and she really needs to be kept moving and busy all day long. My way of teaching is to get in, get our work done and then have the rest of the day for play. She needs small chunks of learning (like ps does). Starting and stopping all day would drive me nuts! She also desperately needs the socialization. I can't do that for her.

 

If I have to...I will. It is not my plan.

[Slipper]

My oldest has autism and needs a variety of services. I fight hard to get her the best services possible in our district. She's in a good place (mentally and physically) and happy. She goes to public school.

 

My middle daughter is very social - lots of friends, straight A's, gifted program, lots of extra activities - she enjoys school. I do not think the school is 'good enough' for her in terms of challenging her, but she does extra math at home and I hope to supplement other things next school year. That said, she's been looking enviously at the boxes of items that have arrived for our youngest and has said that she MAY want to be homeschooled next year. ;) I would pull her in a heartbeat if I saw her attitude changing and she's at 'the age' where we watch her carefully.

 

My youngest has been ill this year. Lots of stomach aches, vomiting, nausea, diarrhea, lethargy, etc. Her teacher told the class that they were an embarrassment and just a bunch of bad kids which my daughter internalized. She referred to herself as a 'bad kid' for a couple of months which drove me a bit nuts. (She's shy, loves to read, great grades, etc). I spoke to the teacher who changed things enough so that if she referred to the class as bad, she immediately corrected it to say "except for so and so". Then there were 'teacher's pet' type comments, etc. She was afraid to let the teacher know when she had to go to the bathroom and due to the diarrhea, would come home with soiled underwear. (She said the teacher has 'scary days' and sometimes she told the kids not to talk to her).

 

I explored every avenue for the stomach aches - diets, medications and a biopsy. The gastro finally suggested school stress and we made the decision to pull her at Christmas. Her symptoms seem to be improving, so we're hoping for the best.

 

(For the record, her teacher seemed to be nice, just overwhelmed and upset at having to work after just having had a baby. She had no sleep, etc. I am not excusing her actions, but she seemed genuinely upset after I explained how upsetting her words were to my daughter.)

[AK_Mom4]

DS20 went K-12 in public school

DD17 went K-11 in public school, but chose to homeschool this year (her senior year) so she could focus on music.

 

DS16 went K-4 in public school, but we pulled him out to homeschool part way thru 5th grade because he was struggling. He returned to public school for high school last year and is doing well.

 

DD10 went K-1 in public school, but we pulled her out because she had some medical issues that made it difficult for her to be in school - plus she was very bored. She is donig well at home with tougher academics and a lighter daily schedule.

 

Different Children. Different Needs. One solution does not fit all.

[Word Nerd]

Thanks-I am in a different place than this friend but would like to understand her new position without offending.

 

Your friend is the only person who can really answer the question, though, as there are multiple reasons why a family might make that decision.

[JFSinIL]

I have four kids, but only one year were all four home for school. Each year who stayed home and who went to school depended on the needs of each kid vs. what the local schools would offer. No two kids are the same, no two teachers are the same. DS1 (autism) was home only a couple years. DS2, his gifted twin, was home 4.5 years. DD1 was home 4.5 years. DD2 was home 4 years. I mostly did grammar stage - DS2 did 8th grade at home after experiencing 7th in public school ;) He then went on to excel in Honors and AP at the public high school, and has a top merit award and is in the Honors program as a sophomore in college, majoring now in Chemistry.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[Bootsie]

We homeschool ds, but dd goes to an all-girls private school. We think the school is great and would send our son if there were an equivalent situation for him. Obviously, he can't go to the all-girls school.

 

Yes, we are tied to dd's school schedule (and we make that our homeschool schedule), but there are three main reasons why we do this: (1) very different kids with very different needs, (2) different ages--middle school seesm to be the most difficult time to find a school setting imo (3) different private school opportunities for the two kids.