HappyGrace Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Dd almost 12 has breast buds. I did get her one of those "half-cami" type bras, but she isn't wearing it much. She doesn't seem that bothered by it, and I don't want to make her self-conscious about it. So do I insist, or not? I was reading in the other thread about maybe a full cami, so I guess I could get those. Actually, she has a couple but doesn't wear them. She does have undershirts but doesn't really wear them. Should I be insisting? She does put the half-cami on on her own when it is a thinner shirt. But sometimes the buds are noticeable even through thicker materials. Is this something you push on, or they do when they're ready? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 At a certain point, lol, it's time to wear a bra. Often mom knows best. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamrachelle Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I had the same issue with my DD. I actually did insist that she wear one (in the name of modesty). The cami's didn't seem to provide enough coverage but I found some lightly lined (not padded) sports bras at Target. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zookeeper Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 There comes a point when you have to insist. They have to get used to it at some point. If it's just buds, I don't insist but do encourage just to help them adjust to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Dd came to me upset one day, and told ME it was time for a bra! Dear thing. :001_wub: We got some at Target. Now she wears several layers and could go braless, if she really wanted to, but it's a habit now and she feels better with it. Hers are just sports-type with no padding. I'd say you can do a cami or even one of those camis that has a shelf-bra built in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Tanks are fine, ime. They eventually want a bra, but there is no physical need for one when they are so young. Camis work great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Now she wears several layers and could go braless, if she really wanted to, but it's a habit now and she feels better with it. Hers are just sports-type with no padding. . My dd is near the same age. I would be curious if my dd wanted so much support for so little. I might want to talk to her about it being OK to get older? Not that you havent had such a talk, but that seems a little much. Or no? I'm asking, as I have not experienced that with my dds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I guess the reason why she doesn't want to wear it would figure into my answer. If it's just because she's not used to it, I'd encourage her to try it for a few days to see if she gets used to it, or maybe find one that's more comfortable. If it's more that she's just not ready for the idea of wearing a bra, I'd give her more time. I'd try not to push the idea that seeing breasts is somehow bad, and she needs to cover them up. Don't want her to get a complex. I don't know, I guess, unless a shirt was really, really thin, I wouldn't make an issue of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 (edited) I guess the reason why she doesn't want to wear it would figure into my answer. If it's just because she's not used to it, I'd encourage her to try it for a few days to see if she gets used to it, or maybe find one that's more comfortable. If it's more that she's just not ready for the idea of wearing a bra, I'd give her more time. I'd try not to push the idea that seeing breasts is somehow bad, and she needs to cover them up. Don't want her to get a complex. I don't know, I guess, unless a shirt was really, really thin, I wouldn't make an issue of it. That's been more my experience and approach, and it looks like we are all on the same page. :) Edited December 11, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 My dd is near the same age. I would be curious if my dd wanted so much support for so little. I might want to talk to her about it being OK to get older? Not that you havent had such a talk, but that seems a little much. Or no? I'm asking, as I have not experienced that with my dds. Oh, she just layers because it's the fashion. A tank, a T and a cardigan is a popular look around here. You let the tank show at the bottom, and the T is very thin material, meant for layering. She has breasts, not buds, too. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Oh, she just layers because it's the fashion. A tank, a T and a cardigan is a popular look around here. You let the tank show at the bottom, and the T is very thin material, meant for layering. She has breasts, not buds, too. :001_smile: Oh, I see. Yes, that is the fashion. I think my dds have a very good eye for combining it all. It's so cute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 We started out with a cami w/ shelf bra built in and then moved on to a sports bra. When that was no longer enough she moved into a regular bra. I didn't insist at first that she wear the cami, but eventually I did begin to insist when it was becoming too noticable without one. She happily wears a bra now without my insistance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 At first I tried to find shirts with gathers or smocking in front so it wasn't noticeable. Half cami bra things proved to be pretty useless. For my next dd we'll go straight to the thinly padded bra style bras (Kohls has a good selection). I much prefer having them wear some kind of bra to the natural look of developing breasts--not the kind of attention a 9 or 10 year old needs (my dd was younger when the need arose). For my disabled dd, I like the camis from Aeropostale. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyGrace Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 I guess that is it, I was unsure what to do because I don't want her to get some kind of complex or draw too much attention to it. She is pretty sensitive. I think I will get her some more camis and casually mention that they will help her stay warmer (she is always cold) and help with a little more coverage when she needs it. I know she will be fine w/ wearing one; it is just this transitional time that's a little weird to know what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Yup, time for modesty. No need to delay the inevitable. Make it a date and have some fun. My older daughters both got them around the same time and it was kind of a party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I think I would step in and suggest it strongly. I remember being teased on a day I was wearing a white shirt. I was mortified! I had never even thought about bras before then, but I insisted my mother take me out that evening for a bra. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 There comes a point when you have to insist. They have to get used to it at some point. If it's just buds, I don't insist but do encourage just to help them adjust to it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHowell Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 My niece needed a bra LONG before we had a sit down with her and MADE her start wearing one. IMO it's better to get them in the habit of wearing one sooner than later. DD (10) wears one of the thin shelf bra types every. single. day. Without question. Before that she wore undershirts. I categorize it as underwear. I wouldn't let her go without panties, why would I let her go without a bra? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 When you can make out distinct shapes under a t-shirt, it's time for a bra, imo. Especially when the t-shirts these days are so thin. It's just part of covering up, like wearing a swimsuit or pants that don't slide down too far when you bend over. The less you make a big deal out of it, the less it will seem like a big deal to her. DD can still get by with one of the thin ones that looks like a light sports bra, before that she would wear a tank top, but the bra is less bulky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 When it was time for dd to start wearing one, we went shopping and bought 10 or so. Different styles, different fabrics. Some more 'training bra' style, some cute push-up with colorful straps (not for the push up but because the lines fit under tank tops better), and some sports bras. I never had to say anything again. She wears them all, with different style shirts. I think making it fun and getting some funky colors makes them more willing to wear them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenvneck Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Having gone through this with two daughters, there might also be some discomfort that could be relieved with a bra, even if it is thin material. I remember when I was beginning puberty myself, it was VERY uncomfortable to have a shirt rubbing against my chest. Maybe mentioning that would make it less of a "you need to wear a bra because you're growing up" and more of a "this might feel more comfortable." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyGrace Posted December 12, 2011 Author Share Posted December 12, 2011 Oh, greenvneck, I LOVE that idea, thank you! She does get discomfort. That is a perfect solution! Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChandlerMom Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Gotta say these posts are making me sad. Sad that a 12yo has to be MADE to wear something for OUR comfort with "modesty". Could as well be discussing a burka. Or maybe I'm just grumpy because it's raining. Anyways...I never wore camis or such. My first bra as an A cup (skipped the aaa and aa "training bras", like breast need to be trained -- do they do tricks?) which seemed about right (was at the point a bra was worth the hassle). Personally, I think it's a matter of when dd either wants one because her friends have them or because she is uncomfortable (esp when running, etc, but that takes a certain amount of heft to matter). I like PP's idea of discussing it as a comfort issue. No surprise that I would make the suggestion about comfort and then leave it up to DD. Since my side of the family is very busty, I'm not inclined to rush them into bras, but pretty confident sooner or later they'll really need them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 No one under a B cup needs a bra and only then bc they might wish for some support. I only wish i could go braless. LOL Yeah, me too. I got my first at 10 and it was a B cup already. Before that I just wore an undershirt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 My 9 1/2 yr old doesn't need a bra for support yet, but for a few months after she got her first bra, she surely loved wearing them. I think she's over it. I let her choose... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 I would say if you notice them too much when in a t-shirt, something else is needed whether or bra or cami, just something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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