Rosy Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Totally!! Of course, it would depend on the group leadership and the kids in the group, and we would have a talk about safety, staying in groups, making good choices, etc. What an amazing opportunity for her! I went to the USSR with my high school marching band (May of '91, just before the Soviet Union fell). It was an unforgettable experience that I will always value. My mom came on the trip as a chaperone, but most parents didn't. Something to keep in mind, too, is that the chances of something bad happening to her (kidnapping, plane crash, etc.) are almost statistically impossible, whether she's in Europe or the US. The risk of something happening is so small, I don't think I would even factor it in. By the time they're leaving, they should be able to give you very specific behavior guidelines, a trip itinerary, details on how to communicate while they're gone, some cultural training, etc. A good group will put a lot of effort into preparing the team. I would definitely make sure the director (or a lead chaperone) has done a trip like this before, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sahm99 Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) ...can't help giving the "European perspective"... :tongue_smilie: I think it all depends on the confidence you have in the adults travelling with the kids...and the other kids in the group!! Without being dead sure about those two, my 15 year old would not even be leaving town! OTOH, if I was confident about the supervising adults, as much as the healthy interaction inside the group - I would be happy about the opportunity to cross the earth by foot, if that came up!:D As far as "Taken" is concerned (good movie, btw.)...I'll restrain from spending the rest of the week compiling a list of movies in which terrible things happen...in the US!:lol: I sure hope all your kids manage to grow up with a slightly broader view on life than a Hollywood movie!!! Edited December 7, 2011 by sahm99 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 It depends on the itinerary, supervision and level headedness of the child involved - but probably yes. :iagree: I went to Israel for a month when I was 16 (I was selected as a student delegate after a selective application process and essay contest, the trip was free to my parents). It was great. I would def. let my child do something similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I sure hope all your kids manage to grow up with a slightly broader view on life than a Hollywood movie!!! Absolutely agree! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Unless there was some other issue (medical issue for the child or serious concerns about the chaperones, for example) I'd DEFINITELY let her go. I only hope my kids have such an opportunity as teens! There is no way that a work of fiction, especially one that is only tangentially related to a chaperoned European choir tour, is going to scare me out of giving my kid such an awesome experience. I believe that travel is extremely formative at those ages and can really open a child's eyes to the world. The highschool and college years are the best times to travel, because it's so easy then. It gets harder when you have kids and jobs and mortgages to deal with. We're talking about Europe. I've travelled in the "scary" Eastern Europe, and really, their cities are no scarier than any US city. Crime happens sometimes, but no more so than right here at home, especially in tourist areas when you are traveling with a chaperoned group. The food and water supplies are safe. They are very western cities and function a lot like cities here. There are people everywhere who speak English if you need help. Depending on where she is going, most of the signs may even be in English. You can send her with a cell phone so she can call you if she needs to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Yes, absolutely I would assuming you were comfortable with the group of chaperones and other kids going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 . ..I'll restrain from spending the rest of the week compiling a list of movies in which terrible things happen...in the US!:lol: Please do so...my dh is convinced that if we ever go to Mexico, we'll be kidnapped, because of the movie Man on Fire (despite the fact that my sister spent 2 weeks in a Mexican resort with nothing bad happening!) Of course, watching movies where bad things happen in the US will probably just make him want to keep them at home all the time! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Provided that I was comfortable with the supervision and blah, blah, blah...yes, absolutely I would allow it. I don't generally fall into the overprotective category though -- our children are allowed to attend sleepovers, vacation with friends and relatives during the summer months, etc. I also grew up overseas and I'm sure that colors my opinion. The comparisons to the movie Taken are fairly over the top! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karensk Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I'd be inclined to allow it for a responsible 15-year-old with a very structured and trustworthy chaperone situation. Ds went on an 8th grade school trip to D.C./NYC/Pennsylvania for a week with about 40 kids and 6 chaperones I knew (his school coaches & teachers). They hired a security guard to sit in the hall of Embassy Suites each night to make sure no kids snuck out of their rooms. And parents were given details of how things would run (e.g., walking around NYC, taking the subways, bedtime/wakeup stuff). But if I didn't know much about the chaperones and how they run things, then no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Yes, I would, if I trusted the group leaders and sponsoring organization. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Absolutely agree! I think our view is not exactly a Hollywood movie but more of a, we want our child to grow up. Some mothers take satisfaction knowing their children are safe and sound as well as the common fact, no one will watch your child the way you do. Everyone cries statistic etc etc. Who cares about that? It is your child why would you even dream of placing your child in a situation where you could lose them? God only knowing what could be happening to them, being done to them, are they alive or dead? No choir trip is worth that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I think our view is not exactly a Hollywood movie but more of a, we want our child to grow up. Some mothers take satisfaction knowing their children are safe and sound as well as the common fact, no one will watch your child the way you do. Everyone cries statistic etc etc. Who cares about that? It is your child why would you even dream of placing your child in a situation where you could lose them? God only knowing what could be happening to them, being done to them, are they alive or dead? No choir trip is worth that. I've lost a child at the grocery store, at a church, at a park, under my direct supervision. Should we never go to those places again? My twins unlocked the door, left the house and walked up the street while I was in the bathroom. They could have been kidnapped or hit by a car. Should I never go to the bathroom? maybe I should take them all in with me? I've had my dc fall right in front of me and scrape their knees and I couldn't catch them. You cannot prevent every bad thing and if you try, you will prevent a lot of good things from happening. My oldest ds was out of contact for about 24 hours when he got stuck in England on the way to Poland. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep really, was SO worried! But he dealt with it fine and I got over it. You can't parent by paranoia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I probably wouldn't, but not because of security / safety concerns (assuming I was generally pleased with the leadership of the choir). Those outings tend to be extremely expensive with minimal educational / cultural return. There are surely exceptions, but I haven't been impressed. I would rather use the money for a family trip with more exploring and less large-group-chaos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) I think our view is not exactly a Hollywood movie but more of a, we want our child to grow up. Some mothers take satisfaction knowing their children are safe and sound as well as the common fact, no one will watch your child the way you do. Everyone cries statistic etc etc. Who cares about that? It is your child why would you even dream of placing your child in a situation where you could lose them? God only knowing what could be happening to them, being done to them, are they alive or dead? No choir trip is worth that. Because I know that I cannot possibly save my children from everything in the world. My child could be shot as an innocent bystander to a drive-by shooting - it has happened 3 times in my city in the last 6 months. The house could burn down and I might not be able to get to them to get them out. We could get in a car accident through no fault of our own and I could lose them that way. It happens. No, I won't deliberately put them in harm's way. At the same time, I have to let them live the life they do have. There are a million things that are more likely to harm my child than kidnapping and being sold into slavery. I can't imagine parenting based on the "What if's" - the anxiety would be debilitating. ETA: My oldest ds went to Scotland on his own this past summer. At one point he missed his flight in Ireland and spent 3 extra days there. There was no other adult present (at 18 he is an adult.) He was fine and he came home better for the experience. Edited December 7, 2011 by Renee in FL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I went on a 3 week choir trip to the US (from Australia) when I was 11, nearly 12. It was an amazing experience. I did get sick and ended up in a hospital on fluids for a day, and I'm sure my mum was freaking out, but it hardly registered a blip on my radar. I loved it, had a great time, was well looked after by a good organisation and hosts, wasn't kidnapped, murdered or abused... Now, I probably wouldn't feel comfortable about my own child going at 11 or 12 myself - yes I'm a total hypocrite - but if I was comfortable with the group then I'd jump at the chance for a 15 year old. I think it would be a truly amazing experience, especially good for a teenager. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I turned 17 in England, performing with a bell choir I belonged to. It never occured to me or my parents to not go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I think our view is not exactly a Hollywood movie but more of a, we want our child to grow up. Some mothers take satisfaction knowing their children are safe and sound as well as the common fact, no one will watch your child the way you do. Everyone cries statistic etc etc. Who cares about that? It is your child why would you even dream of placing your child in a situation where you could lose them? God only knowing what could be happening to them, being done to them, are they alive or dead? No choir trip is worth that. I care about statistics because they help inform good choices. I've used them for homeschooling, for Rx for my husband and dd, for counseling choices, for car seats, for major purchases. I can not possibly (and should not) keep my children "safe" and with me 24/7. It's not healthy. In many cases, the risks they face NOT being by my side is less than the risk of an over-sheltered, diminished life experience growing up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I think our view is not exactly a Hollywood movie but more of a, we want our child to grow up. Some mothers take satisfaction knowing their children are safe and sound as well as the common fact, no one will watch your child the way you do. Everyone cries statistic etc etc. Who cares about that? It is your child why would you even dream of placing your child in a situation where you could lose them? God only knowing what could be happening to them, being done to them, are they alive or dead? No choir trip is worth that. Do you ever intend to let them out? A 17 year old could easily be going off to college with a lot more potential for trouble than a choir trip. Especially if she has no experience of real independence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Do you ever intend to let them out? A 17 year old could easily be going off to college with a lot more potential for trouble than a choir trip. Especially if she has no experience of real independence. :iagree:Amen!! And those are the kids who are the most vulnerable and usually become the victims of those who are more savvy and who can smell naivete a mile away! I would be more afraid for a child who has turned 18 and left home with no experience than to send my kid on a well supervised trip to Europe. Those kinds of trips are exactly the type of experience teens need. The chance for a little independence with a huge safety net in place. And that's not even mentioning the fact that children who are not let out of their parents' sight or allowed a reasonable degree of freedom in their teen years, tend to be exactly the ones who run so far and so fast from Mommy and Daddy when they turn 18, that it's often hard to catch them again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I think our view is not exactly a Hollywood movie but more of a, we want our child to grow up. Some mothers take satisfaction knowing their children are safe and sound as well as the common fact, no one will watch your child the way you do. Everyone cries statistic etc etc. Who cares about that? It is your child why would you even dream of placing your child in a situation where you could lose them? God only knowing what could be happening to them, being done to them, are they alive or dead? No choir trip is worth that. If something bad is going to happen to my child, it's not likely that *I* will be able to prevent it. Take them out: risk car accident, victim of violence or robbery, possible random shooting. Leave them home: house explosion, fire, victim of break in. It's an endless list of possibilities, but it's a risk you take because you have life. We're not all doomed. The satisfaction I take in knowing that my child is safe and sound comes from knowing that they can function in a world that sometimes doesn't go as planned. It's satisfying to know that they are taking steps toward independence while they still are under my roof, not literally but figuratively. The world can be a scary place, but it's our responsibility as parents to equip our children to navigate that world, not hide from it. As much as I'd love to hang on, it doesn't go far in helping my kids grow up. (I'm the usually over-protective mom who avoids sleepovers, has a select group of friends, censors much tv, etc.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Everyone cries statistic etc etc. Who cares about that? It is your child why would you even dream of placing your child in a situation where you could lose them?. Do you allow your child to ride in cars as a passenger? Will you allow her to drive when she is old enough? then you are placing her in situations where it is much more likely that you could lose her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabrett Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Yes. I let my dd go to Germany with her school at 16. It was a wonderful experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 In many cases, the risks they face NOT being by my side is less than the risk of an over-sheltered, diminished life experience growing up. The growing young man I have with me now has found himself on trips away from me. I would not have wanted to risk depriving him of that development. I check the statistics then make a rational determination. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Not without me. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 As long as there are responsible adults to keep an eye on what is going on, and as long as the child is responsible and trustworthy, it is okay with me. Of course, it always needs to be decided on a case by case basis, but in principle, sounds okay to me. :iagree: What a great opportunity for a mature kid! Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2two Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Not without me. :D I agree! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Yes. When I was 13, I worked my butt off for an entire year to go on a month-long trip to Germany with my gymnastics team. If was was mature and with good people, YES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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