Gift tree rant...

[Jennifer3141]

Food Network is all reruns. I need a new way to spend my time... Oh! I'll join a gang! :lol:

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[mirth]

I

 

I was curious about the ceramic knife thing, so I checked Walmart.com and found this for $19.88:

 

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Yoshi-Blade-Ceramic-Knife/14248104

 

I think I have seen the same thing at Bed, Bath & Beyond, too, but I didn't pay attention to the price.

 

I know others have already mentioned the nice set at Costco, so I won't try to find a link to those knives, but Sam's Club has a set of Cuisinart ceramic knives for less than $30:

 

http://www.samsclub.com/sams/shop/product.jsp?productId=prod5540032&searchTerm=ceramic%20knife

 

 

:iagree: Ceramic knives can easily be had for under $25 from Walmart and BBB (w/ coupon) as you mentioned.

 

[The following is a digression on the qualities of ceramic knives]

Further, they are VERY useful and a utilitarian item in our house. It is the one knife you need to 1) slice anything, 2) slice anything into VERY thin slices, 3)completely skin and core a pineapple in no time, 4) slice open bagged salad salad in a hurry. They are very useful. Also VERY sharp. I have sometimes found myself with small nicks on my hands after cooking that I don't remember explicitly getting. The nicks are so sharp and clean-cut that they don't even hurt until you wash your hands and some water/soap gets in.

 

The only sort of knife it cannot replace is a cleaver.

 

That said, the cheap ceram ones ($20 sort) can be brittle and break easily when dropped and they do not like to be bent even a little. (Don't even think about trying to pry something open with the knife tip) In our house, I have all the ceram knives locked in cabinet. They are just that sharp and not worth the risk for a kid to grab accidentally. Something to consider if angel tree recipients have little kids.

Edited December 4, 2011 by mirth

[GingerPoppy]

:iagree:

 

I have been on the other end of the stick, so to speak. It never dawned on me at the time to ask for help from others, especially for gifts at Christmas. If I didn't have it to spend, then we didn't get it. Our happiness at holiday time was not dependent upon whatever material "things" we had. If I could have asked for one thing, it would have been for help with buying propane for heating for the upcoming winter. I would never in my wildest imagination have asked others for anything I would have day-dreamed for. I would have realized that I didn't really need it at that time. There were other much more pressing needs.

 

I say this having lived off of soup and cereal for several months at a time during a very lean period of my life. Do I think I missed out on anything by not having had a few "nice" Christmas gifts? No, of course not. I'm probably a better person for having gone through a season of poverty. I'm very thankful that my life has changed (financially) for the better, but I can definitely say that I have walked a mile in others shoes for a time. It just seems that today's attitude seems to be that getting some wanted material goods (at Christmas) will make it all better. It does not.

 

Before you throw tomatoes at me, I've bought for Angel Trees, and contributed to other organizations who help the needy around here. I have decided to stop for now, as there is so much abuse of the system here. I feel that giving happens when my heart either "hears" or "sees" a need, and that isn't always at Christmas. There are too many other days in the year when people have real needs. I'm not too sure anyway that all the commercialization of Christmas is what the holiday was meant for.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I have personally seen plenty of abuse of these types of charities, sadly by some people I know quite well. One neighbour puts her name in at multiple churches so they get multiple brightly wrapped boxes of Christmas food and gifts delivered. She has admitted she does this "because she can". At the same time, she drives a better car than me, has satellite tv and gadgets, etc. Trust me when I say she is no more "needy" than I am. There is a relative of mine that takes as much as she can, even though she would have other ways of obtaining what she needs. And I've seen plenty more. I guess the abuse of it really opened my eyes and made me steer clear. It just doesn't feel as authentic as I'd like it to be. Now if I knew of a situation with a clear need, I'd be more than happy to help out... and I say this as someone without a lot of extra money to throw around. But I hate the duplicity I see.

[snickelfritz]

Just a side note....if you are unhappy with one such organization, don't give up the idea. Find another one. We usually do an Angel tree at the mall. The tag usually has a variety of things, but a bike or DS would be a common large ticket item to see. It's been easy to skip that and still get a game and clothing item, for a reasonable amount (and I always include any extras like batteries or light bulbs.)

 

BUT......

 

This year, we saw one at a restaurant and I let the girls get one, each. All requests were much more modest. A doll. A Disney movie. Art supplies....etc...... I looked closer, and this one came from a specific women's shelter. I'm going to take the girls back and get some more from this particular tree.

[Denise in Florida]

I guess I look at Christmas differently. I like to buy wants and not needs. Not that there is anything wrong with thinking the other way around. Even on an Angel Tree and being poor doesn't mean that having wishes granted is a bad thing. I know when money was really tight for us, I could afford the needs, it was wants I always went without so that my kids could have what they wanted. Needs are also easier to find at thrift shops. I would feel thrilled to be able to make someone really feel special on Christmas morning, and I love that they asked for something they really wanted instead of something that will be forgotten or added to the junk pile.

 

I just remembered something....when I was divorced and struggling I never bought hair conditioner because it was a luxury and I couldn't justify the cost in my own mind. I felt like I had finally left that behind when I could buy it without feeling guilty.

:iagree:

I take a Angel Tree kid every year. I get a few 'needs' but I always include some nice 'wants'. Not the cheapest stuff either, I assume they can get the bottom of line stuff themselves. This is along the lines of treating the angel kid with the same 'special occasion' standards I use for my own kids.

 

Last year my angel girl wanted art supplies and mentioned color pencils. In addition to some practical items I bought her a big package of Prismacolor (the kind in the metal box) and a very good sketch pad.

 

My church requests that the people who take an angel kid include a set of clothes (sizes are provided) some gifts and wrapping supplies. They have a 'suggested' budget of $100 to $125. I don't usually spend that much but I shop very carefully (coupons, discounts, etc.)

[akmommy]

Is there a chance this person could be an aspiring chef and need a set of knives to get a job. Years ago my DH worked as a prep cook and even as a prep cook was expected to have his own set of knives. Just a thought.

[cindergretta]

If I wanted to make sure that I was donating to fulfill people's desperate needs, I would give to an organization that provided food baskets, or donate toiletries to a battered women's shelter, or put hats and gloves on my church's mitten tree, or donate coats and blankets to an organization for the homeless. There is no shortage of charities that exist only to meet the most basic needs of the most desperate people.

 

If I were donating to an organization that provided Christmas presents, I would expect to give something present-like. A present is something to brighten someone's life and make them feel happy and cared for. I think that presents are almost by definition "wants," rather than "needs." In that case I would be giving to provide a little joy and Christmas cheer in the life of someone who might have the bare essentials but not much more.

 

A couple of years ago, we were totally broke and in need of groceries. A friend in another state wanted to bless us with groceries. She told me to go to Safeway.com and "fill up a cart" with around $200 of groceries and send it to her, she would pay for her and have it delivered. I could have cried. Anyway, I emailed her and asked her if she minded if I bought a whatever it was (I don't even remember now) and she wrote back, "The devil is in the details. It is not my concern what you put in your cart. If candy bars and some rag mags will brighten your day, put 'em in there!" I didn't put any such thing in my cart, but her attitude made me feel so blessed and so much like it was a true gift, not an obligated burden. Just my experience. :D

[WeeBeaks]

I have sympathy for the OP. I gave up our local program after two years in a row with a list of items of which I could not afford. There was nothing on those lists in my price range. We are talking a Wii gaming system and games and so forth. I couldn't fulfill any of the wishes reasonably. Not one. I figured there would be something on the list where I could get 100% match to the item desired. Not so. And then we were expected to give a $50-75 GC to the grocery store for a ham or turkey ($50?!) *plus* all the side dishes donated (like boxed stuffing, cranberry sauce and so forth - totally reasonable). Does a ham really cost $50?

 

I was really discouraged and just gave up donating to be perfectly honest after those years. I stopped doing the program. If the only things needed, or more accurately wanted, were all over $300, they were better off than our family so another family needed to get their wishlist, someone who could afford to give them what they wanted off their list. I realize I could have chosen something else, but I wanted to bless someone with the exact gift chosen but it was just impossible financially.

Edited December 4, 2011 by WeeBeaks

[Jackie in NE]

:iagree:

 

 

 

 

I feel that giving happens when my heart either "hears" or "sees" a need, and that isn't always at Christmas. There are too many other days in the year when people have real needs. I'm not too sure anyway that all the commercialization of Christmas is what the holiday was meant for.

 

 

I like this. I also like the idea of anonymously paying for someone's heat or something really necessary.

[Catwoman]

I remember taking my ds to one of the charity gift trees at the mall, and the "want" lists were absolutely ridiculous.

 

I'm thinking that a 3 year-old probably didn't really want a MacBook Pro. :glare:

 

Honestly, that was actually one of the requests.

 

I also love the ones where the 2yo wants an XBox 360 and a bunch of games (not a single Dora the Explorer in the bunch... ;))

 

I have given up on participating in this type of exchange, and instead, we quietly ask a local pastor what the needy families in his congregation might like for Christmas, and buy things he suggests. At least we know our money is actually helping real people who are going through some tough times.

[shinyhappypeople]

:iagree:

I take a Angel Tree kid every year. I get a few 'needs' but I always include some nice 'wants'. Not the cheapest stuff either, I assume they can get the bottom of line stuff themselves. This is along the lines of treating the angel kid with the same 'special occasion' standards I use for my own kids.

 

Last year my angel girl wanted art supplies and mentioned color pencils. In addition to some practical items I bought her a big package of Prismacolor (the kind in the metal box) and a very good sketch pad.

 

My church requests that the people who take an angel kid include a set of clothes (sizes are provided) some gifts and wrapping supplies. They have a 'suggested' budget of $100 to $125. I don't usually spend that much but I shop very carefully (coupons, discounts, etc.)

 

That makes me sad. I wouldn't be able to give, that's just too much. :( I think that just because someone wants to give, doesn't mean they have a lot of money. I would happily do a $25 gift. But $100? Just because I'm not "poor" doesn't mean I'm rich - or even middle class. I wonder if more people would give if the expectation was more modest.

[snickelfritz]

That makes me sad. I wouldn't be able to give, that's just too much. :( I think that just because someone wants to give, doesn't mean they have a lot of money. I would happily do a $25 gift. But $100? Just because I'm not "poor" doesn't mean I'm rich - or even middle class. I wonder if more people would give if the expectation was more modest.

 

Our mall angel tree (Salvation Army run) asks for at least $25. And the requests we got from the restaurant angel tree (from a women's shelter) would be met by that.

[Denise in Florida]

That makes me sad. I wouldn't be able to give, that's just too much. :( I think that just because someone wants to give, doesn't mean they have a lot of money. I would happily do a $25 gift. But $100? Just because I'm not "poor" doesn't mean I'm rich - or even middle class. I wonder if more people would give if the expectation was more modest.

 

I don't go that high but I consistently spend $60 or so. I use coupons and discounts (for example I used a 50% off coupon on the prismacolors). We have sunday school classes and ladies groups pick an angel and go in together.

 

Our tree takes the teenagers, these kids are less likely to be picked than the toddlers. Getting some nice new clothes and a want or two for a teenager can be more expensive than for a toddler. Many people just bring in teen stuff (CDs, skateboards, itunes cards, etc) that then get spread throughout the bags to even things up.

 

We have a policy not to leave any unclaimed angels.

[shinyhappypeople]

well, I just figured out part of the problem. Technically, my family qualifies for Angel Tree :blink: We're about $40 below the cut-off. Wow.

 

I'd still like to give, but not to Angel Tree. Sorry, kids-I-don't-know. I truly hope you have a wonderful Christmas, but if I can't afford a DS for my own kids, I'm not giving you one. If that makes me a Grinch, then so be it.

 

Maybe I'll give to a food bank or something of that nature. I feel like our $25 would go further and mean more.

[Denise in Florida]

well, I just figured out part of the problem. Technically, my family qualifies for Angel Tree :blink: We're about $40 below the cut-off. Wow.

 

I'd still like to give, but not to Angel Tree. Sorry, kids-I-don't-know. I truly hope you have a wonderful Christmas, but if I can't afford a DS for my own kids, I'm not giving you one. If that makes me a Grinch, then so be it.

 

Maybe I'll give to a food bank or something of that nature. I feel like our $25 would go further and mean more.

 

I believe any gift makes a difference. :001_smile: Everybody must make their own choices. I certainly agree about meeting our own families needs as well. :001_smile:

 

Two things have changed my own giving choices:

 

1. I started giving to an Angel Tree teenager when my girls became teens. Like most teens my girls would come up with a huge wish list. I would pick one angel that was within their age range and say this might be all she gets, really focus on the best we can do. I did not have the fullest bag but everything in there was something my girls would have picked for themselves.

 

2. When one of my girls became gluten free, I noticed how expensive good quality allergen free foods could be. I now donate nutrious gluten free food to my church's food bank; Amy's Kitchen, Bob's Red Mill, and high quality rice.

 

I don't give the quantity I used to but I know that some one is getting the best I can provide.

[Catwoman]

2. When one of my girls became gluten free, I noticed how expensive good quality allergen free foods could be. I now donate nutrious gluten free food to my church's food bank; Amy's Kitchen, Bob's Red Mill, and high quality rice.

 

 

That's an excellent idea -- I never think of that when I buy stuff for the local Food Pantry, and I know for sure that at least one of the families is gluten-free, so I'll bet they have a lot of trouble getting food they can use.

[Miss Marple]

Sam's Club had a set a while back - I don't remember the price, but it seemed reasonable (I considered getting it for my ds who loves to cook). I'm not a knife aficionado but I was attracted to the lovely bright colors :) I'd love a set.

[elegantlion]

That's an excellent idea -- I never think of that when I buy stuff for the local Food Pantry, and I know for sure that at least one of the families is gluten-free, so I'll bet they have a lot of trouble getting food they can use.

 

I agree. I try to eat gluten free. One little box of bisquick gluten free is almost 5.00. It's half the size of regular, but I can eat pancakes.

 

Another idea is toiletries. Because if people receive food stamps, they can't use the money for pet food, paper products, or toiletries.

[TravelingChris]

The last church that had an Angel Tree we belonged to was more than 5 years ago when we lived in Florida. Our Sunday School class chipped in to get a teenager a sewing machine. Individually, I would pick a few from the nursing home requests- their requests were things like sweat clothes or robes or slippers. I always looked through requests in earlier years and tried to find requests that were like what my own kids were getting- lego sets, games, nice books, etc.

 

I think some people here may not realize that many people don't begrudge some something nice but they can't see themselves buying nicer for charity than for family. Lots of statistics show that in fact, middle income people give a lot more proportionally than the rich. If we can't afford $100 sneakers for anyone in our family, how can we afford that for anyone else? Also, many are not in favor of giving in to commercialism. So giving a lovely sweater or a soccer ball and cleats might be fine with them but getting a Brand Name blankety blank wouldn't be. I am just trying to figure out how to get crayons and color pencils for the little girl I am tutoring. I don't know if she is in any Angel Tree program or anything like that. I just know she doesn't have crayons, colored pencils or markers at home to finish a coloring page. I also know she has never seen a duck though ducks are common in the ponds and lakes in our area and they are probably only two or three miles from her home. I could guess that if her mom filled out a request, it wouldn't be for crayons or a trip to see ducks. But that is really what that six year old wants.

[Danestress]

and want to cook from scratch rather than spend the extra for prepared foods.

 

The fact that the receiver knows what KIND of knives she wants doesn't seem wrong to me, since she wasn't asking for something terribly expensive. Why should the poor only receive the cheapest of what we can offer? If another Mom needs kitchen knives, I would rather spend $30 for a really good set that will last than $15 for some cheapo knives. And in my experiences, cooks needs fewer knives of higher quality rather than a knife for everything made cheaply.

 

I personally would think this was a great request and would feel good about buying something for another Mom (or a Dad, perhaps, or a single person even) who will cook with them and feel blessed with them daily.

[mommaduck]

and want to cook from scratch rather than spend the extra for prepared foods.

 

The fact that the receiver knows what KIND of knives she wants doesn't seem wrong to me, since she wasn't asking for something terribly expensive. Why should the poor only receive the cheapest of what we can offer? If another Mom needs kitchen knives, I would rather spend $30 for a really good set that will last than $15 for some cheapo knives. And in my experiences, cooks needs fewer knives of higher quality rather than a knife for everything made cheaply.

 

I personally would think this was a great request and would feel good about buying something for another Mom (or a Dad, perhaps, or a single person even) who will cook with them and feel blessed with them daily.

:iagree: I've been without knives before, had family buy us the cheapest set they could find, and they were so dull that they were literally useless. I had a drawer full of knives that we couldn't use. I did finally invest in TWO knives. They were close to ten to fifteen dollars each (not top quality, but not so cheap that they were useless). They may not be a "set", but they WORK.

 

Honestly, if they want this kind, then I would be willing to buy one or two (depending upon what you can afford and are willing to do), but not the set. Or buy a set of nice, useful ones that aren't the specific kind.

[In2why]

well, I just figured out part of the problem. Technically, my family qualifies for Angel Tree :blink: We're about $40 below the cut-off. Wow.

 

I'd still like to give, but not to Angel Tree. Sorry, kids-I-don't-know. I truly hope you have a wonderful Christmas, but if I can't afford a DS for my own kids, I'm not giving you one. If that makes me a Grinch, then so be it.

 

Maybe I'll give to a food bank or something of that nature. I feel like our $25 would go further and mean more.

 

 

That is totally reasonable. Wanting to give and having a generous heart doesn't mean that you can do everything. It doesn't make you a Grinch in the least to choose a charity more in line with your ability to give. Another option that we chose last year, is the senior's angel tree. I have only seen it at Kmart, but I am sure if you call the Salvation Army they can make a match for you. The wants were very detailed in some cases, a certain type of powder, or certain yarns and knitting needles, but all were somewhat modest in cost. A robe, sweater, books, that type of thing, and they provide it to a nursing home.

 

I also love the boxes that are put together for the troops, and I know they LOVE LOVE LOVE homemade jerky, candy, books, and toiletries that they can't find at their PX's.

 

Foodbanks are in desperate need as well. Many have closed and more people need help with basic groceries.

[shinyhappypeople]

The last church that had an Angel Tree we belonged to was more than 5 years ago when we lived in Florida. Our Sunday School class chipped in to get a teenager a sewing machine. Individually, I would pick a few from the nursing home requests- their requests were things like sweat clothes or robes or slippers. I always looked through requests in earlier years and tried to find requests that were like what my own kids were getting- lego sets, games, nice books, etc.

 

I think some people here may not realize that many people don't begrudge some something nice but they can't see themselves buying nicer for charity than for family. Lots of statistics show that in fact, middle income people give a lot more proportionally than the rich. If we can't afford $100 sneakers for anyone in our family, how can we afford that for anyone else? Also, many are not in favor of giving in to commercialism. So giving a lovely sweater or a soccer ball and cleats might be fine with them but getting a Brand Name blankety blank wouldn't be. I am just trying to figure out how to get crayons and color pencils for the little girl I am tutoring. I don't know if she is in any Angel Tree program or anything like that. I just know she doesn't have crayons, colored pencils or markers at home to finish a coloring page. I also know she has never seen a duck though ducks are common in the ponds and lakes in our area and they are probably only two or three miles from her home. I could guess that if her mom filled out a request, it wouldn't be for crayons or a trip to see ducks. But that is really what that six year old wants.

 

The bolded part is exactly how I feel. And there's honestly this feeling in me of, "What? My nice, carefully chosen, $25 gift isn't good enough?" There's just something to that entitlement mentality that rubs me the wrong way. You can buy many awesome gifts for $25/ea -- esp. if you hit the sales (real life examples under our tree: 2 beyblades + stadium, Razor scooter, Littlest Pet Shop remote control vehicle).

 

I think asking for *only* very expensive gifts is taking advantage of the generosity of the giver.

 

I'd love for every kid to have at least a couple of fun gifts to open on Christmas. It doesn't have to be a Nintendo for it to bring a smile. And if it does *have* to be Nintendo... that reflects poorly on the recipient and how the recipient has been raised, not the giver. (rant over)

 

I'm going to look into the senior angel tree that another poster mentioned. That sounds really lovely :)

[*********]

If I wanted to make sure that I was donating to fulfill people's desperate needs, I would give to an organization that provided food baskets, or donate toiletries to a battered women's shelter, or put hats and gloves on my church's mitten tree, or donate coats and blankets to an organization for the homeless. There is no shortage of charities that exist only to meet the most basic needs of the most desperate people.

 

If I were donating to an organization that provided Christmas presents, I would expect to give something present-like. A present is something to brighten someone's life and make them feel happy and cared for. I think that presents are almost by definition "wants," rather than "needs."

 

Very, VERY well said. Especially the bolded.

[CAMom]

I've only through page 3 but do we even know this is an adult asking?:confused:

 

Perhaps it is a teenager who is developing a passion for cooking or who is helping by preparing meals while a parent works. I know a lot of teenagers who love the kitchen.

 

Even if it were an adult, I can see how they thought the knives cost $20-$30 and found that an acceptable request.

[Denise in Florida]

The last church that had an Angel Tree we belonged to was more than 5 years ago when we lived in Florida. Our Sunday School class chipped in to get a teenager a sewing machine. Individually, I would pick a few from the nursing home requests- their requests were things like sweat clothes or robes or slippers. I always looked through requests in earlier years and tried to find requests that were like what my own kids were getting- lego sets, games, nice books, etc.

 

I think some people here may not realize that many people don't begrudge some something nice but they can't see themselves buying nicer for charity than for family. Lots of statistics show that in fact, middle income people give a lot more proportionally than the rich. If we can't afford $100 sneakers for anyone in our family, how can we afford that for anyone else? Also, many are not in favor of giving in to commercialism. So giving a lovely sweater or a soccer ball and cleats might be fine with them but getting a Brand Name blankety blank wouldn't be. I am just trying to figure out how to get crayons and color pencils for the little girl I am tutoring. I don't know if she is in any Angel Tree program or anything like that. I just know she doesn't have crayons, colored pencils or markers at home to finish a coloring page. I also know she has never seen a duck though ducks are common in the ponds and lakes in our area and they are probably only two or three miles from her home. I could guess that if her mom filled out a request, it wouldn't be for crayons or a trip to see ducks. But that is really what that six year old wants.

 

Hey Chris and ShippyHappyPeople,

 

I just wanted to verify that you are not refering to me. :tongue_smilie: (It is hard to tell) I certainly understand people not chosing to buy gifts they either could not afford or would not choose (overly commercial) for their own family. I also agree that middle and low income people are often the most generous at helping others.

 

My main focus is, if I am going to give something (particularly as a Christmas gift) I would rather give fewer things that are nicer. I have in the past gone in with sunday school class friends to meet a request we could not do individually. :001_smile: If I only wanted to spend $25 on a request (which I have done in the past) I would buy one very nice thing and add it to the general pool.

 

I hope I have not said anything here or in my previous posts that made it sound as if people had to spend a lot or buy things they would not normally buy. I repeat that every gift matters.

 

I have worked on the food baskets/family gift collection side of my church. Frankly, I would rather see fewer food items that are nutrious and meet peoples needs (allergy, etc) than tons of cheap food. I would rather one nice toy per child than a box of cheap breakable plastic that won't last a day. This does not mean spend more, it just means choose the quality you would like to receive.

[Rivka]

I don't think anyone should feel required or expected to fulfill expensive gift requests. A wish list is not an order form. I just don't like to see resentment and anger directed at people for wanting something expensive or non-essential. (Especially a $20 knife, for heaven's sake.)

 

Don't your kids ever have unrealistic Christmas wishes? Mine totally does. There's no harm in her asking. I prepare her for the idea that Santa may not give her what she hopes for, and I buy something that's realistic for our budget. I'd treat an Angel Tree gift the same way.

[MariannNOVA]

I haven't read past the first three pages of replies so forgive me if I am repeating something.

 

We participate in the tree and other giving activities at our Church. I have a friend who organizes 'everything' that a particular family is going to receive -she has worked with this family for years.

 

All that being said, it is not unusual for the friend to ask us to get dishtowels, kitchen sponges and little stuff like that for the mom. My friend reminds us every year that things that we take for granted, are such a special treat for someone who is in need.

 

As for the ceramic knives, perhaps someone mentioned that they could use a set of knives for the kitchen (not an extravagant request) and the individual who wrote up the tag for the tree decided to spiffy it up a bit and wrote ceramic knives.

 

At any rate, I would try to comply as much as I could considering financial limits, etc -- and I would not dismiss the idea of putting a gift card in a little box and indicating that it is to go towards knives -- ceramic or otherwise.

[Impish]

We've always struggled financially.

 

One year, Wolf took Diva and drove for Santa's Anon. Delivering gifts and food baskets.

 

He hasn't done it again since, and won't.

 

Why?

 

Well...he had ppl flip out on him, AND Diva, for daring to wish them a Merry Christmas. Yeah, sign up for a Christmas charity, but then have a fit b/c you're wished Merry Christmas.

 

He had ppl complain, "That's all?!" after he carried everything into the house for them.

 

He had ppl criticize what was in the food hamper, as if he'd packed it himself. Didn't like this brand, why isn't there more of that, etc.

 

He wasn't expecting, nor did he want anyone to throw themselves at his feet, sobbing with gratitude. But to be treated like carp, to have ppl be hostile to both him and Diva? Yeah, not going to spend a day and gas $ for that experience, thanks.

[MariannNOVA]

We've always struggled financially.

 

One year, Wolf took Diva and drove for Santa's Anon. Delivering gifts and food baskets.

 

He hasn't done it again since, and won't.

 

Why?

 

Well...he had ppl flip out on him, AND Diva, for daring to wish them a Merry Christmas. Yeah, sign up for a Christmas charity, but then have a fit b/c you're wished Merry Christmas.

 

He had ppl complain, "That's all?!" after he carried everything into the house for them.

 

He had ppl criticize what was in the food hamper, as if he'd packed it himself. Didn't like this brand, why isn't there more of that, etc.

 

He wasn't expecting, nor did he want anyone to throw themselves at his feet, sobbing with gratitude. But to be treated like carp, to have ppl be hostile to both him and Diva? Yeah, not going to spend a day and gas $ for that experience, thanks.

 

Oh my. so sorry for Wolf and Diva. How incredibly inappropriate of the recipients. I know that there have been a couple of times when I have been volunteering and I have been taken aback by a comment or two of some of the recipients -- I guess we have to chalk it up to rudeness or plain old simple not knowing any better.:grouphug: I can see how one would decide NOT to do that again.

[shinyhappypeople]

Hey Chris and ShippyHappyPeople,

 

I just wanted to verify that you are not refering to me. :tongue_smilie: (It is hard to tell) I certainly understand people not chosing to buy gifts they either could not afford or would not choose (overly commercial) for their own family. I also agree that middle and low income people are often the most generous at helping others.

 

My main focus is, if I am going to give something (particularly as a Christmas gift) I would rather give fewer things that are nicer. I have in the past gone in with sunday school class friends to meet a request we could not do individually. :001_smile: If I only wanted to spend $25 on a request (which I have done in the past) I would buy one very nice thing and add it to the general pool.

 

I hope I have not said anything here or in my previous posts that made it sound as if people had to spend a lot or buy things they would not normally buy. I repeat that every gift matters.

 

I have worked on the food baskets/family gift collection side of my church. Frankly, I would rather see fewer food items that are nutrious and meet peoples needs (allergy, etc) than tons of cheap food. I would rather one nice toy per child than a box of cheap breakable plastic that won't last a day. This does not mean spend more, it just means choose the quality you would like to receive.

 

I wasn't referring to anyone in particular, certainly not you! :grouphug: I think I'm more offended by the attitude of some of the potential recipients asking for just one very expensive item. If my kids were making out a list for grandma and did that, they'd be instructed to offer a few other less expensive suggestions. It's poor manners to take advantage of the generosity of the giver by only asking for expensive items.

[ocelotmom]

Just a side note....if you are unhappy with one such organization, don't give up the idea. Find another one. We usually do an Angel tree at the mall. The tag usually has a variety of things, but a bike or DS would be a common large ticket item to see. It's been easy to skip that and still get a game and clothing item, for a reasonable amount (and I always include any extras like batteries or light bulbs.)

 

A bike can be a hugely practical money-saver, and not necessarily terribly expensive. That's a request I'd be likely to fulfill.

 

A bike may allow a teen or adult who doesn't drive/own a car to get to work or school. I commuted to college (10 miles each way) on a bike, saving us the cost of buying and maintaining a second car and who-knows-how-much in gas expenses.

 

For a younger kid, it may allow a family to live a car-free (or at least less car-reliant) life. It might allow a parent to have a full-time job by giving their child a better ability to get to/from school on their own.

 

Even if it's purely for fun, it's active, outdoor fun. For a child whose family may not be able to afford activity fees, that may make a huge, lifelong difference.

[Brilliant]

...If I picked a gift tree envelope w/ a request for something I couldn't afford, I'd exchange the envelope for another.

 

OP, can you do this? If I were in your shoes, I'd either return the card to the tree, or I'd figure out how/where to get one of the nice $25-$30 sets (Costco, Sam's, Amazon). I think a gift card to the fancy store would be a complete waste.

[Cheryl in NM]

OK, so every year we take an envelope off of the gift tree at our church. Each envelope has a gift request. The expectation is that we fulfill the request, and bring the wrapped gift back to the church in time for Christmas.

In the past, the gift requests have been things like, gloves, toiletries, sketchpad, things like that.... around $20.... not extravagant.

This year the request was for "A set of ceramic knives". Huh? What's that? So I do an internet search and learn that a set of ceramic knives cost around $85-$90!! Whaaaaat??? I think that is an inappropriate gift to request on a gift tree. These gifts are supposed to be for needy people in the community. Nobody "needs" ceramic knives, which I learned today are special because they can be made to hold an exceptionally sharp edge. Beautiful. I would love to be able to have special kitchen gadgets like that. But I guess I'll just keep using my 30 year old Chicago knives!! Also learned today that once it is no longer possible to keep the sharp edge on a ceramic knife, the idea is that they are thrown away. Whaaatttt?? This whole thing irks me!! I am going to give the person a reasonable ($25) gift certificate to a nice kitchen products store downtown. I love the store, but cannot actually afford to shop there. :rant:

 

You can get a "set" of 2 ceramic knives from Harbor Frieght Tools for $20.

[Catwoman]

Not for anything, but thanks to this thread, I am getting to be quite the expert on ceramic knives. :tongue_smilie:

[In2why]

Oh my. so sorry for Wolf and Diva. How incredibly inappropriate of the recipients. I know that there have been a couple of times when I have been volunteering and I have been taken aback by a comment or two of some of the recipients -- I guess we have to chalk it up to rudeness or plain old simple not knowing any better.:grouphug: I can see how one would decide NOT to do that again.

 

 

Or bruised pride, but that doesn't excuse their behavior in the least.