Breaking Dawn... I can't believe i'm even posting this...

[rocketgirl]

because I know I did what's right but still, ug. My 11 year old's friend's mom asked if she could go see Breaking Dawn with them tonight. How do you say 'omg, no' gracefully?! I said 'we're going to wait til it comes out on dvd' (so we can mute and skip the scenes that need to be). I don't feel bad. My daughter doesn't either, she already knew she couldn't see it in the theater. And she also had something else to do to so really didn't think too much about it. I know I made the right decision but I still fight this image of being overprotective. I'm not, but I am protective, I'm raising 4 girls. But when you take your kids out of public school, raise them 'differently', and then don't let them see this new hit movie, well, you know... Just need some support from the hs world..

[chepyl]

I have no interest in seeing it. I completely understand!

[kubiac]

If it makes you feel better, I've seen it and the nature of film magnifies and exacerbates all the flaws in the godawful book. You and your kid aren't missing a thing. :D

[...................]

It's your child and you are responsible for her upbringing. Just say no!!!

 

The polite way is "no thank you.". And absolutely no explanation is required!

 

If the mother asks why simply say "we are very careful what our children watch and this doesn't meet our standards for her.".

[mytwomonkeys]

because I know I did what's right but still, ug. My 11 year old's friend's mom asked if she could go see Breaking Dawn with them tonight. How do you say 'omg, no' gracefully?! I said 'we're going to wait til it comes out on dvd' (so we can mute and skip the scenes that need to be). I don't feel bad. My daughter doesn't either, she already knew she couldn't see it in the theater. And she also had something else to do to so really didn't think too much about it. I know I made the right decision but I still fight this image of being overprotective. I'm not, but I am protective, I'm raising 4 girls. But when you take your kids out of public school, raise them 'differently', and then don't let them see this new hit movie, well, you know... Just need some support from the hs world..

 

i've seen it. i love the twilight movies! however, i would NEVER let my daughter see any of them (she's 10). the most recent movie is totally and completely inappropriate for kids. i was mortified at how many minors were in the theater the night we went to see it. you definitely made the right choice!!!

[ChandlerMom]

It's PG-13, dd's not 13. 'Nuf said. Following the rating system is not 'overprotective' -- the rating system errs the other way. My dd can rent it when she's in college, if she likes.

[mama27]

because I know I did what's right but still, ug. My 11 year old's friend's mom asked if she could go see Breaking Dawn with them tonight. How do you say 'omg, no' gracefully?! I said 'we're going to wait til it comes out on dvd' (so we can mute and skip the scenes that need to be). I don't feel bad. My daughter doesn't either, she already knew she couldn't see it in the theater. And she also had something else to do to so really didn't think too much about it. I know I made the right decision but I still fight this image of being overprotective. I'm not, but I am protective, I'm raising 4 girls. But when you take your kids out of public school, raise them 'differently', and then don't let them see this new hit movie, well, you know... Just need some support from the hs world..

 

 

Just say no, we aren't into Twilight.

[Farrar]

I would shudder to see that birth scene put on the big screen.

[Moonbeam Jones]

I've never even heard of it. :001_huh:

 

Don't feel bad, from what I heard it is just bad ripe off of Bronte novels.

 

Note to Twihards - I have not read the novels nor seen the movies, just heard this point on a review. Please argue with them ;)

 

http://americanvision.org/movieology/3208/twilight-saga-breaking-dawn-part-1-%e2%98%85%e2%98%85%c2%bd/

[Garga]

I am a secret Twilight fan (no one IRL knows.) I went to see the movie. I think it comes by it's PG-13 rating honestly, which means that I would wait for my child to be 13 before showing it to her.

 

Sounds like you already handled the situation, but if it comes up again, just say that you feel it's more graphic than the others (because it most certainly is), and that you want to wait until it's on DVD so that you can fast forward through some parts. And even if you don't ff thru them, it won't be as intense on a small screen vs a big screen, so you're waiting for the DVD.

[Jenny in Florida]

Note to Twihards - I have not read the novels nor seen the movies, just heard this point on a review. Please argue with them

 

Why?

 

Look, I would never attempt to defend Twilight as great literature, but I do think the books get a bad rap, usually from people who haven't bothered to read them.

 

Not every book is for every reader. I've been horrified on these very boards to hear people run down or define as "boring" books like "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre" and others that I love, for example.

 

However, I'm a pretty eclectic reader. I love lots of different kinds of books, including the Twilight series. I think Meyers does an admirable job of capturing a certain kind of time and certain kinds of experiences. And I think Bella is a flawed but good person, one to whom I relate quite a lot.

 

But, see, none of that will matter to someone who wants to dismiss the books the way you do. So, it's not worth giving up any of my precious reading time to argue with you.

 

Edit: In response to the original issue raised in this thread, I'll say that I think you, OP, did the right thing in not letting your daughter go see the flick. We have a family rule that no one sees a movie until he or she has read the book on which it is based. So, unless your daughter has read "Breaking Dawn," I would say she shouldn't see it at all. That's before we even get to the question of whether the movie is appropriate for an 11 year old. Personally, having seen the movie, I don't think it's particularly gory or explicit. And, if I had a daughter who was into the books at that age and really wanted to see it, I might take her. I don't think I would send her without me, though. (And my daughter doesn't like the books, anyway.)

Edited December 3, 2011 by Jenny in Florida

[regentrude]

.

[jelbe5]

I am right there with you. I read all four of the Twilight books. My daughters and I have watched the first three movies at home. We were planning to go see Breaking Dawn in the theatre until I heard more about the birth scene. My 11 year old is just very sensitive and I am "overprotective" because I am the one who has to deal with the tears and angst when she is upset. It just works better if I shield her when I feel it is appropriate. She is getting better, but I feel it needs to be a gradual process . . . not a "throw her into the deep end" process.

 

We will wait until it comes out on dvd and I will preview the questionable scenes . . .

[Mandy in TN]

Why?

 

Look, I would never attempt to defend Twilight as great literature, but I do think the books get a bad rap, usually from people who haven't bothered to read them.

 

Not every book is for every reader. I've been horrified on these very boards to hear people run down or define as "boring" books like "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre" and others that I love, for example.

 

However, I'm a pretty eclectic reader. I love lots of different kinds of books, including the Twilight series. I think Meyers does an admirable job of capturing a certain kind of time and certain kinds of experiences. And I think Bella is a flawed but good person, one to whom I relate quite a lot.

 

But, see, none of that will matter to someone who wants to dismiss the books the way you do. So, it's not worth giving up any of my precious reading time to argue with you.

 

Edit: In response to the original issue raised in this thread, I'll say that I think you, OP, did the right thing in not letting your daughter go see the flick. We have a family rule that no one sees a movie until he or she has read the book on which it is based. So, unless your daughter has read "Breaking Dawn," I would say she shouldn't see it at all. That's before we even get to the question of whether the movie is appropriate for an 11 year old. Personally, having seen the movie, I don't think it's particularly gory or explicit. And, if I had a daughter who was into the books at that age and really wanted to see it, I might take her. I don't think I would send her without me, though. (And my daughter doesn't like the books, anyway.)

:iagree:with all of the above.

 

The amount of literature referenced in these books is pretty astounding. I remember reading Ballet Shoes as a child and then demanding to read Midsummer Night's Dream, because the girls were in the ballet. After reading the first twilight book I reread Sense and Sensibility, but I could definitely see a girl demanding to read Romeo and Juliet. The third book heavily quotes from Wuthering Heights. So much literature is referenced I have thought that it would be a fabulous book for rabbit trails. The books themselves are easy reads and they make so many other books so tantalizing.

 

Having already seen the movie, if I had an 11yo dd who had read the books, I would let her see the movie, but I would not send her with another family.

 

Mandy

[warneral]

Doesn't this movie involve marriage, sex and birth? That doesn't seem appropriate for an 11 year old OR a 13 year old (in my mind).

 

ETA that I shouldn't have added that marriage and birth is fine, but the whole sex part is what I object to. My children have seen themselves being born

[Trez]

Well I guess I qualify as one of those overprotective moms.

 

At the time when the books came out, my daughter was around 11. I was volunteering at the school library when the librarian pointed out to me that she would not carry the 3rd and 4th books due to the mature themes/content. My daughter had read the first book so I took it upon myself to read it and the others. I wasn't impressed. I can't really remember what it was in particular about the books that I disliked but I did not let her read the next 2 books. She accepted the decision with issue. Now that she is almost 16, she has no desire to read the books or go to the movies.

 

On a side note, I did go with her to see the first movie. The acting was so terrible, and the writing so bad, that I laughed through about 3/4 of it. (I don't think I will ever think of Edward's face when Bella walked into the classroom without chuckling. :001_smile:

[Trez]

While folding the laundry, I remembered what it was that I found objectionable with regard to the Twilight books. It was the idea that a girl would fall so "in love" at a young age that she couldn't function without her boyfriend. There are enough girls in high school who feel pressured to do things to keep their "love" in their life. I didn't think she needed to be exposed to this at such a young age.

[Jenny in Florida]

While folding the laundry, I remembered what it was that I found objectionable with regard to the Twilight books. It was the idea that a girl would fall so "in love" at a young age that she couldn't function without her boyfriend. There are enough girls in high school who feel pressured to do things to keep their "love" in their life. I didn't think she needed to be exposed to this at such a young age.

 

And that is a perfectly sane and well-reasoned objection.

 

My kids never saw the Disney versions of "The Little Mermaid" or "Cinderella" when they were little, because I objected to some of the messages I saw in those films. I respect the rights of parents to decide what works for their own children, and it is a right we exercise often around here.

 

What bothers me is when people dismiss things out of hand because of what they think a book or a film might be, instead of doing what you did and finding out for yourself.

 

With that said, Bella is 17 when the story begins. I met the man who is now my husband when I was significantly younger. (We met in elementary school and started "dating" in junior high.) So, I guess Bella doesn't seem especially young to me. I also remember how incredibly intense those experiences were, which I think it part of what Meyers captures so very well.

 

But, push comes to shove, it's fiction. The characters are flawed. Nobody's perfect. It's a good story, one I enjoyed and that was meaningful to me. I have no investment in insisting that everyone else agree with me.

[mom2denj]

It's PG-13, dd's not 13. 'Nuf said. Following the rating system is not 'overprotective' -- the rating system errs the other way. My dd can rent it when she's in college, if she likes.

:iagree:I saw it with my 15yr old and their were parts in this one that she covered her face. Definitely would not let my 11 yr old go. My daughter will go to friends houses and still call me and ask if she can watch certain movies. I have no problem saying no.:D

[Michelle My Bell]

because I know I did what's right but still, ug. My 11 year old's friend's mom asked if she could go see Breaking Dawn with them tonight. How do you say 'omg, no' gracefully?! I said 'we're going to wait til it comes out on dvd' (so we can mute and skip the scenes that need to be). I don't feel bad. My daughter doesn't either, she already knew she couldn't see it in the theater. And she also had something else to do to so really didn't think too much about it. I know I made the right decision but I still fight this image of being overprotective. I'm not, but I am protective, I'm raising 4 girls. But when you take your kids out of public school, raise them 'differently', and then don't let them see this new hit movie, well, you know... Just need some support from the hs world..

 

I have seen it and told my 17 year old dd I didn't want her to see it. A very large portion of the movie has a honeymoon scene. My daughter is not married and not ready for all that stuff.

[cbollin]

How do you say 'omg, no' gracefully?! .

 

 

I would hope I would just say "Thank you for the invitation but we have to decline on this one. Do let me know what you think of it. Maybe the girls can get together for something non movie tomorrow?"

 

I remember when I was 11 or 12 y.o (5th or 6th grade, right?) There was a movie back then called Blue Lagoon. I don't think PG13 existed as a rating yet? It was R! Yes, the Brooke Shields movie. :lol:

 

I was not in a religious household at all. When my classmate called me and asked if I wanted to go, I had to ask my mom. My mom said, but that's R rated. So you can't go. I got back on the phone with the classmate and said "I can't go. It's R rated. see you at school tomorrow."

 

and that was it. no big deal to the kids involved. I have no idea what my parents thought about the other parents.

 

-crystal

[ChandlerMom]

DH and I have watched the first 3 movies...and usually laughed our way thru them. Ah, the teenage angst!!!

 

Personally (and I think lit choices are ALWYAS personal), I wouldn't let me girls read these books or see these films for the same reason they don't watch most Disney "princess" flicks (except Mulan) -- the message about love against one's will, against one's reason, against one's best interest...I just don't think those themes need to be reinforced in young brains that are full of emotional intensity and short of executive function. I don't need anything extolling the virtue of teen forever love -- sure, sometimes it works out, but more often it does not, and my dd wants to go to med school, so best to be planning on marriage after 25 rather than true love at 17! :tongue_smilie:

 

I much prefer Pride and Prejudice, esp the part where Elizabeth turns down Darcy's proposal, "The feelings which, you tell me, have long prevented the acknowledgment of your regard, can have little difficulty in overcoming it..." <snap> Must say this is the one part better done in the films than the book, because Austin covers these things in such broad strokes. On the other hand, most of the movies trim the reconciliation at the end where Darcy admits he had (gasp) faults. :)

 

ETA: personally I don't care at all what OTHER parents think. If they have the audacity to TELL me I'm overprotective, I'll have the audacity to tell THEM that maybe they should give being protective a try for a change. :D As to what they THINK -- don't know, don't care. I respect every parent's right to make their own choice, but that includes ME. DH and I both say we're only answerable to our own kids, and I'm sure when they grow up they'll feel free to tell us where they think we went wrong. As long as they aren't telling us from rehab or pregnant at 17, I think I can handle it. :)

Edited December 3, 2011 by ChandlerMom

[TheAutumnOak]

I have seen it and told my 17 year old dd I didn't want her to see it. A very large portion of the movie has a honeymoon scene. My daughter is not married and not ready for all that stuff.

 

:iagree:DH and I saw it, and if I had a daughter, I wouldn't let her see it, not even at 17...This movie is different than the rest of them...All DH kept saying was, "I would never take my kid to see this"...There were many minors in the theater though...

[Veritaserum]

While folding the laundry, I remembered what it was that I found objectionable with regard to the Twilight books. It was the idea that a girl would fall so "in love" at a young age that she couldn't function without her boyfriend. There are enough girls in high school who feel pressured to do things to keep their "love" in their life. I didn't think she needed to be exposed to this at such a young age.

 

:iagree: I don't censor much. Dd11 and dd9 read The Hunger Games trilogy. I won't let them read Twilight because of the obsessive romance and Edward's scary control over Bella. I liked Jacob. I hated Edward until the end of the last book. I listened to the audio books while doing housework. I don't think I would have bothered reading them.

[FairyMom]

Why?

 

Look, I would never attempt to defend Twilight as great literature, but I do think the books get a bad rap, usually from people who haven't bothered to read them.

 

Not every book is for every reader. I've been horrified on these very boards to hear people run down or define as "boring" books like "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre" and others that I love, for example.

 

However, I'm a pretty eclectic reader. I love lots of different kinds of books, including the Twilight series. I think Meyers does an admirable job of capturing a certain kind of time and certain kinds of experiences. And I think Bella is a flawed but good person, one to whom I relate quite a lot.

 

But, see, none of that will matter to someone who wants to dismiss the books the way you do. So, it's not worth giving up any of my precious reading time to argue with you.

 

Edit: In response to the original issue raised in this thread, I'll say that I think you, OP, did the right thing in not letting your daughter go see the flick. We have a family rule that no one sees a movie until he or she has read the book on which it is based. So, unless your daughter has read "Breaking Dawn," I would say she shouldn't see it at all. That's before we even get to the question of whether the movie is appropriate for an 11 year old. Personally, having seen the movie, I don't think it's particularly gory or explicit. And, if I had a daughter who was into the books at that age and really wanted to see it, I might take her. I don't think I would send her without me, though. (And my daughter doesn't like the books, anyway.)

 

:iagree: My daughters won't see BD until they are 18, if they even want to.

[justLisa]

OMG I"d NEVER even heard of it, but just out of curiosity I googled and :w00t:

 

I cannot imagine watching it myself, as I am a rather sensitive viewer.

[MerryAtHope]

Sounds to me like you did just fine.

[Jenny in Florida]

:iagree: I don't censor much. Dd11 and dd9 read The Hunger Games trilogy. I won't let them read Twilight because of the obsessive romance and Edward's scary control over Bella. I liked Jacob. I hated Edward until the end of the last book. I listened to the audio books while doing housework. I don't think I would have bothered reading them.

 

Interestingly, I found The Hunger Games MUCH more disturbing than Twilight. I warned my daughter off of reading those, because I knew she would find them too much for her. I am considering letting my son read them next year, if we read them together and discuss as we go. I thought they were interesting and thought-provoking novels, but the violence was horrible.

 

I also don't find Edward controlling (well, except when he disables Bella's car). This is probably giving away too much about my own life, but I actually "get" Edward, and their relationship reminds me (of course, in a hugely exagerrated, nothing-like-reality, over the top kind of way) of my relationship with my husband. From the outside, it can look like he is completely in charge, but to everyone who knows us well, it is clear that I pretty much get my own way about most things.

 

Of course Edward is flawed. Of course he makes mistakes. I'm not saying I wouldn't be nervous if my daughter were dating someone who came off like he does (quite apart from the whole vampire thing). But I don't need my characters to be perfect in order to be interested in their lives. In fact, I think perfect people are pretty boring.

 

So, why would I be okay with a kid reading/seeing Twilight and be cautious about Hunger Games? I guess what it comes down to is that I hope my children will, eventually, find the loves of their lives and have fulfilling, happy sexual relationships. I hope with all my heart that neither of them ever has occasion to inflict violence upon or murder another person. So, healthy, consentual sex modeled in fiction and film is much more acceptable to me than lots of violence and bloodshed.

 

Which is why it's great that we, as parents, have so many options and the right to pick and choose among them for our kids.

[poetic license]

Interesting review--

 

http://www.npr.org/2011/11/17/142248824/dawn-breaks-and-much-baroque-nonsense-ensues

 

But when a saga popular with pre-adolescent girls peaks romantically on a night that leaves the heroine to wake up covered with bruises in the shape of her husband's hands — and when that heroine then spends the morning explaining to her husband that she's incredibly happy even though he injured her, and that it's not his fault because she understands he couldn't help it in light of the depth of his passion — that's profoundly irresponsible.

 

...

 

But romanticizing an intimate relationship that leaves bruises and scars is a particularly terrible idea in a film aimed at girls. Talking about this is tiresome, but then so is putting it in the movie. From depicting the loss of virginity as a naturally violent, frightening, physically dangerous experience to making Bella a woman with no life at all outside of her literally all-consuming pregnancy, the narrative sledgehammers are all as distasteful as they are inelegant.

[Jenny in Florida]

Interesting review--

 

http://www.npr.org/2011/11/17/142248824/dawn-breaks-and-much-baroque-nonsense-ensues

 

This reviewer came into this film with so many pre-conceptions and biases that it's no wonder she wrote this review.

 

It's also clear she hasn't read the books and didn't like the other films. Why would anyone think she is capable of being insightful about this one?

[Veritaserum]

Interestingly, I found The Hunger Games MUCH more disturbing than Twilight. I warned my daughter off of reading those, because I knew she would find them too much for her. I am considering letting my son read them next year, if we read them together and discuss as we go. I thought they were interesting and thought-provoking novels, but the violence was horrible.

 

I also don't find Edward controlling (well, except when he disables Bella's car). This is probably giving away too much about my own life, but I actually "get" Edward, and their relationship reminds me (of course, in a hugely exagerrated, nothing-like-reality, over the top kind of way) of my relationship with my husband. From the outside, it can look like he is completely in charge, but to everyone who knows us well, it is clear that I pretty much get my own way about most things.

 

Of course Edward is flawed. Of course he makes mistakes. I'm not saying I wouldn't be nervous if my daughter were dating someone who came off like he does (quite apart from the whole vampire thing). But I don't need my characters to be perfect in order to be interested in their lives. In fact, I think perfect people are pretty boring.

 

So, why would I be okay with a kid reading/seeing Twilight and be cautious about Hunger Games? I guess what it comes down to is that I hope my children will, eventually, find the loves of their lives and have fulfilling, happy sexual relationships. I hope with all my heart that neither of them ever has occasion to inflict violence upon or murder another person. So, healthy, consentual sex modeled in fiction and film is much more acceptable to me than lots of violence and bloodshed.

 

Which is why it's great that we, as parents, have so many options and the right to pick and choose among them for our kids.

 

I would be sorely disappointed if any of my dds chose to have a relationship with someone like Edward. Bella and Edward's relationship is not a healthy one. I do not want my dds to see it as a model to emulate. Obsessive, jealous love is not the same thing as healthy, mutually-respectful, and trusting love. Flawed is a mild description. Mr. Darcy is flawed. Edward and Bella are broken. Because real women and girls accept unhealthy relationships as normal and good and are damaged due to that acceptance, I find the Twilight books to be far more dangerous than The Hunger Games. My children are not going to fight to the death in an arena. They are going to have romantic relationships. I want to avoid exposing them to unhealthy models.

 

Adult women are much better equipped to see Twilight as the fantasy it is without it damaging their view of what makes a healthy relationship.

 

Interesting review--

 

http://www.npr.org/2011/11/17/142248824/dawn-breaks-and-much-baroque-nonsense-ensues

 

I agree with this and I did read (well, listen) to the books. I went in without any expectations. The books were recommended to me by a few friends who enjoyed them. If anything, my expectation was to enjoy them myself.

[Jenny in Florida]

I find the Twilight books to be far more dangerous than The Hunger Games.

 

Then we will just have to agree to disagree.

[Parker Martin]

I would be sorely disappointed if any of my dds chose to have a relationship with someone like Edward.

 

:iagree: If I have a teenage daughter, she definitely won't be allowed to date men over a hundred years old.

[Jaz]

I'm thinking of waiting to watch it at home on DVD using our Clearplay DVD player. You did the right thing. :)

[Parker Martin]

Someone explain to me, what is the fantasy of Twilight? That a weirdo geriatric vampire will fall in love with one as a teenage girl? That's the stuff of nightmares, not fantasy.

[poetic license]

I'm thinking of waiting to watch it at home on DVD using our Clearplay DVD player. You did the right thing. :)

 

OT question--never heard of this player, does it really work as advertised?

[Splinter]

You definitely made the right decision, and to be honest, I'd skip it when it comes out on DVD too.

 

I took my daughter last weekend and we had to leave in the middle of it. There was a very disgusting (and disturbing) scene and my daughter ended up getting sick on the way out. It was much worse than the previous Twilight movies.

[Farrar]

I would be sorely disappointed if any of my dds chose to have a relationship with someone like Edward. Bella and Edward's relationship is not a healthy one. I do not want my dds to see it as a model to emulate. Obsessive, jealous love is not the same thing as healthy, mutually-respectful, and trusting love. Flawed is a mild description. Mr. Darcy is flawed. Edward and Bella are broken. Because real women and girls accept unhealthy relationships as normal and good and are damaged due to that acceptance, I find the Twilight books to be far more dangerous than The Hunger Games. My children are not going to fight to the death in an arena. They are going to have romantic relationships. I want to avoid exposing them to unhealthy models.

 

 

:iagree: The Hunger Games is a seemingly shocking series where, when you scratch the surface, there's something to discuss there about media, about war, about violence... about a lot of things. Twilight is a seemingly romantic series where, when you scratch the surface, you end up with some really deeply disturbing sexist messages about relationships.

 

Doesn't this movie involve marriage, sex and birth? That doesn't seem appropriate for an 11 year old OR a 13 year old (in my mind).

 

ETA that I shouldn't have added that marriage and birth is fine, but the whole sex part is what I object to. My children have seen themselves being born

 

I haven't seen the movie, but from the book, the sex scene is bad enough. But the birth scene is what I really wouldn't want any child of mine to see. They'd probably never want to have kids!

[mama27]

:iagree: If I have a teenage daughter, she definitely won't be allowed to date men over a hundred years old.

 

 

:lol::lol:

[Moonbeam Jones]

Why?

 

... So, it's not worth giving up any of my precious reading time to argue with you.

 

 

First I want to thank you Jenny in Florida for you thoughts and comments, they have given me things to think about. Not only in your response to me, but throughout the whole thread. I appreciate your point of view. I understand having precious little reading time, however I would like to address the question you asked of me. Why?

I am not sure if you are asking why I have not read the books or why I am abdicating the argument to others, so I will address both:

 

Why did I say argue with them? Well, because I haven't read the books nor watched the movies and I was just trying to reassure the poster that I quoted that she shouldn't be ashamed about not having heard about Twilight. I had watched a review and was paraphrasing what I had heard and added the link as my source so others may watch and decide for themselves. Isn't that we all do sometimes? We don't have time to read a book or the money to check out a certain curriculum, so we post on these boards to get the opinions of others who have. If the reviewer I watched had not seen the movies, I would not have repeated their message nor would I have added the link to their review.

 

Why haven't I read the books? Well I haven't read them because I heard they are ripe offs of Bronte novels and with the facts that I don't have much reading time and not into Vampires, I just thought I would read Bronte instead. Which would you recommend, Charlotte, Emily or Anne?

Don't feel as if you need to respond, although I would like to hear your answer about which Bronte is your recommendation, as you express no desire to continue this discussion.

 

To the OP, wendymb1120, I want to apologize. Rereading the posts, I realize mine had nothing to do with your original question. As I do not have an eleven old daughter, I have no wisdom to pass along in your situation, so I should have silently agreed with how you handled the situation and left room for the readers and posters who are truly interested in reading about how to say no gracefully or had wisdom to pass along. Please except my apology.

 

 

 

Jenny

Edited December 3, 2011 by Moonbeam Jones
Trying to fix the quotes

[kolamum]

Ha! Now imagine my horror when I found out my 8 year old niece has been watching the ENTIRE collection of movies AND all the HP movies and books. She's now all most 11, but I was like.. Give me a break people.

 

Some people don't think twice before they plop kids down in front of stuff. I've had to hustle my kids out of family's living rooms before.

[journey00]

You absolutely did the right thing!

 

My daughter is 12 & has never seen or read any of the Twilight movies nor does she care to! Blocked from my tv are: ABC Family channel, Disney Channel, and the obvious others like MTV....I cancelled my subscription with Netflix because I can't let her browse for a movie without running into some smut! We do piusmedia.com now, they're a family-owned Catholic company with great movie titles. Sorry...I'm ranting & got off topic..

 

When those types of situations come up with my daughter I say: "Sorry, her Dad would never let her watch that." ;)

[Jenny in Florida]

I am not sure if you are asking why I have not read the books or why I am abdicating the argument to others, so I will address both:

 

I actually meant, "Why would you ask us to argue about this when it is so clear you've already made up your mind? What is the point?"

 

Why haven't I read the books? Well I haven't read them because I heard they are ripe offs of Bronte novels and with the facts that I don't have much reading time and not into Vampires, I just thought I would read Bronte instead. Which would you recommend, Charlotte, Emily or Anne?

 

I truly don't understand how you can make a judgement about these books if you haven't read them. I "hear" lots of things, but when I care enough about something to get online and argue about it, I like to think I take the time to research first.

 

As for the Brontes, I have never been a big Emily fan. It took me until adulthood to trudge through "Wuthering Heights" (sacrilege to some, I know!), and I can't say I liked it even then. However, I love, LOVE Charlotte, especially "Villete." I remember walking to class one day with my nose stuck in that book and actually yelling out loud at a plot point that surprised me. Needless to say, this did little to undermine my reputation as a nerd. I also re-read Anne's "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall" every few years, although I'm not as crazy about "Agnes Grey."

 

"Jane Eyre" is probably the most accessible novel and as good a place to start as any. I almost missed more than one bus while absorbed in that one.

 

When you're done with, or at least well acquainted with, the Bronte sisters, you might enjoy Jane Auten's "Northanger Abbey," which is quite different from most of her novels and kind of a parody or satire of the Gothic stuff.

 

I also finally got around to reading Wilkie Collins a few years ago and fell in love with those novels. Although quite different from the Brontes' works, his books are similarly dense and absorbing. The two that are easiest to find in your local bookstore are "The Moonstone" and "The Woman in White."

 

 

Don't feel as if you need to respond, although I would like to hear your answer about which Bronte is your recommendation, as you express no desire to continue this discussion.

 

To the OP, wendymb1120, I want to apologize. Rereading the posts, I realize mine had nothing to do with your original question. As I do not have an eleven old daughter, I have no wisdom to pass along in your situation, so I should have silently agreed with how you handled the situation and left room for the readers and posters who are truly interested in reading about how to say no gracefully or had wisdom to pass along. Please except my apology.

 

 

 

Jenny

[ChandlerMom]

A little OT, but my 8yo likes me to "warn" her if a book is going to be a little dark. My previews usually are something like, "There are a couple parts that are a bit sad, but it all works out in the end." She's a voracious reader, and reads thick novels, so it can be challenging to find books at her level that don't get to YA or dark. A couple times she's stopped reading a book saying it was too scary/dark, and often says, "I don't mind, but don't let me sister read it!" :lol:

 

So am I being overprotective? I don't think so. I think I am giving dd permission to read what she's comfortable with, and glad she doesn't feel pressured to read or watch stuff that would be to dark or mature for her.

[Mom-ninja.]

Well, I won't let my 3 yr old watch "Home Alone" and that's considered a great family movie. It's fun to watch with my older boys but I deem it as too violent for my youngest. I'm his mom and it's for me to decide. :)

[Just Robyn]

With that said, Bella is 17 when the story begins. I met the man who is now my husband when I was significantly younger. (We met in elementary school and started "dating" in junior high.) So, I guess Bella doesn't seem especially young to me. I also remember how incredibly intense those experiences were, which I think it part of what Meyers captures so very well.

 

Met (and started dating) my now husband when I was still 16 and have to just :iagree:with the bolded.

 

ETA: I know high school relationships that last aren't common, but neither are Bella and Edward. I think that's kind of the point.

 

I don't censor much. Dd11 and dd9 read The Hunger Games trilogy. I won't let them read Twilight because of the obsessive romance and Edward's scary control over Bella. I liked Jacob. I hated Edward until the end of the last book. I listened to the audio books while doing housework. I don't think I would have bothered reading them.

 

I have to agree. That's the negative side of the "incredibly intense" romance. I'm glad I don't have to make this decision (because I don't have a daughter). (And I'm not saying you can't have an intense romance without a crazy boyfriend who disables your car.)

:iagree: If I have a teenage daughter, she definitely won't be allowed to date men over a hundred years old.

 

:lol:

 

Regarding the OP: I would not let an 11 yo read the books or watch the movies.

 

Regarding Twilight and classics: In this video of Stephenie Meyer she says:

 

All of the books in the Twilight Saga have a classical inspiration to them. With Twilight it was Pride and Prejudice - very loosely related - but there was definitely an element of Mr. Darcy in Edward and an element of Elizabeth Bennet in Bella. Then New Moon was much more closely tied to Romeo and Juliet. That's really the theme of the novel. Eclipse for me was my Wuthering Heights homage. And now with Breaking Dawn there's two novels that I have loosely worked with. One is Midsummer Night's Dream and I can't say what the other is.

Also, I don't think it's fair to compare Twilight to classics in terms of quality of literature (rather than the basic story and character trait comparisons, such as in the Stephenie Meyer video). The Twilight Saga is obviously not in the same camp. That doesn't mean it's not a fun read. Edited December 4, 2011 by crstarlette

[Elizabeth in MN]

I've seen it in the movie theater. I've read the book (seven times). I have no issues with letting my eleven year old daughter see it in the theater. The birth scene isn't that graphic, and the sex is dealt with beautifully.

[Jay3fer]

Okay, just to get back to the OP for a minute... because I can see this has gone off-track a bit. Stand your ground. Here's what I tell my kids, and have for almost 18 years: "God picks the right parents for each child." Period. (okay, I know, theologically, this is flawed because abusers get kids but bear with me)

 

What I have used, since another parent told me about it in Grade 2-ish, is a site called Kids in Mind: kids-in-mind.com. They give movies a "three-point" rating out of ten based on the three criteria of sex, violence and profanity. If it's all ones and twos, I know it's okay for younger kids. For the teenagers, maybe I'll let them see 6's and 7's.

 

Just out of curiosity, I checked Breaking Dawn: 6 (Sex & Nudity).8 (Violence).3 (Profanity) - each of these is out of 10, so you can see that violence is extremely high, while sex & nudity is only "sort of" high. Profanity is relatively low.

 

ETA - a couple of others, for contrast:

The Muppets - 2.3.1

Happy Feet Two - 2.4.3

Immortals - 6.10.2

 

What I like about the site is that they also give a synopsis of the movie along with a list of themes that could cause problems or need discussion. The kids also adore the fact that it lists many of the naughty references, albeit a bit discreetly.

 

The "message" of Breaking Dawn is "Love and self-sacrifice can be very difficult emotions to understand and express."

Its themes include "Abstinence, marriage, abortion, sacrifice, abandonment, vampires and werewolves, jealousy, dependence, unhealthy dependence, immortality."

 

The site isn't perfect, but neither am I. Together, we've been a great team for probably almost a decade now.

Edited December 5, 2011 by Jay3fer

[jakesask]

I just read on Wikipedia that flashing lights during the birth scene have triggered seizures in some people.

 

So there's an excuse not to go!