bzymom Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Love my 16 yr old d/s. He is truly super. But the rigidity related to clothing is making me nutso. Must be cargo pants, so we have enough pockets, of course. No sweatpants, no jeans, no khakis (except on special occasions when I absolutely insist). So I go along with it. Weather has changed. Out come the cargo pants, which are now too short. Ask if he has noticed that he is taller and the pants are too short. Nope. Okay, now that it has been pointed out, perhaps we can pick up a few new pairs and weed through those that don't fit. Nope. And the explanations: They fit fine. There is no such thing as pants that are too short. If they were longer he would be more likely to trip or catch them in his bike. It doesn't matter. Who makes these decisions about what is the right pant length anyway? Why do we have to change our clothes because someone else might think they are too short? As long as he is comfortable, why should it be of any interest to me what length his pants are? Why would I get rid of perfectly good pants for such a trivial reason? Why would I waste money on the same pants in a longer length.... *Sigh* And it really only matters to me because I don't want him to make himself more of a target for other teens, and because I want him to be able to get along in life with an understanding that these things do effect the impression he makes upon others, including in a job setting. But it hardly seems worth the :boxing_smiley:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 ROFL!!! This is why my ds wore heavy flannel plaid work shirts all summer long. And believe me, I know better than to try to make him wear clothing of any sort that has words or pictures on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I totally get that you don't want him to be a target, and it would bother me too. But he has some good points. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Oh brother, do I know where you are coming from. My 8 yr. old Aspie will only wear pants with an elastic waistband. After toddler sizes, not much comes in elastic other than sweatpants. I did find some pants at Target with elastic waists, but I don't know what I'm going to do when he grows out of those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I truly, deeply feel your pain. I'm married to a man with the same outlook. He has 6-7 pairs of identical cargo shorts. With many very similar t-shirts. Jeans, must be a certin style (that is becoming harder to find) He wears the exact same thing to church every Sunday...only with a slight shirt color variation :tongue_smilie: He was in hog heaven back when he was a mechanic and had to wear uniforms. He wore them EVERYWHERE. I have a daughter now that is the same way. Well, she has a slightly broader range, but clothes must feel and fit exactly right, or they do not get worn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Oh brother, do I know where you are coming from. My 8 yr. old Aspie will only wear pants with an elastic waistband. After toddler sizes, not much comes in elastic other than sweatpants. I did find some pants at Target with elastic waists, but I don't know what I'm going to do when he grows out of those. Lands End carries elastic waist pants in every color and denim! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Most boys hate to shop. Fortunately, there is a solution. 1) Measure the waistband, side to side, of a pair of pants that fits him well in the waist. Write that number down and take it to the store with you. 2) Shop without him. It's most likely the shopping he hates, not so much the having new pants part. If the pants you buy measure the same in the waistband as the ones he tried on, chances are surprisingly good that they will fit him. I've done it this way for years and haven't had a failure yet. 3) Explain that he is quite correct about lots of what he's brought up, but that society expects certain things, etc. etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 (edited) I know there's disagreement among experts whether or not ADD is on the autism spectrum, but I swear there's overlap. (One of ds' best and oldest friends is aspie, and his mom and I have had interesting conversations.) Clothing sensitivity seems to be one of those overlap areas. It's frustrating finding clothes when we need to be aware of tags, seams, waistbands, etc. Tagless shirts rank among the greatest ideas ever. I feel your pain. Teens can be brutal and none of us want our teens to be the target of their peers. Edited October 28, 2011 by floridamom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mktkcb Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Oh man I'm right there with ya. My 15yo aspie-ish son is so similar. Loves cargo pants and sweats/basketball pants...anything light and soft. Doesn't notice length. He'll sleep in and wear the same clothes 4 days in a row if I don't notice. I totally get the pockets thing. It's funny, though, because I showed this to my 20yo dd (Jr Engineering major at local Uni), who is almost certainly a little aspie herself, and she got a laugh out of it. She said "It sounds like Ben!". I laughed and said "It sounds like YOU!!" LOL. She's my one to give lengthy arguments about the silliness of clothing fashions, and, although she dresses neatly and acceptably, she is uberly into function over form. And ultra logical. like spock. *big heavy sigh* with you ;o). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I know there's disagreement among expert whether or not ADD is on the autism spectrum, but I swear there's overlap. )One of ds' best and oldest friends is aspie, and his mom and I have had interesting conversations.) Clothing sensitivity seems to be one of those overlap areas. It's frustrating finding clothes when we need to be aware of tags, seams, waistbands, etc. Tagless shirts rank among the greatest ideas ever. I feel your pain. Teens can be brutal and none of us want our teens to be the target of their peers. OMG, YES! I thought we were the only ones that could see this, and that it was just my child! Dh and I always thought that we just barely dodged the autism bullet, so to speak, with ds. Clothes sensitivity is high on his list of related issues. As a pp mentioned, I would go buy him some pants w/ the same waist, but longer. Wash them, and slip them into his drawer. Then take out the short ones! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 He'll sleep in and wear the same clothes 4 days in a row if I don't notice. That drives me crazy! Then I get, "They're clean. I didn't wear them out anywhere". Like all it takes for clothes to need washing is to wear them out in public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 It's been my experience that Aspies don't "take my word for it" on anything. :glare: My Aspie son (who turned 15 today) does not agree with many social rules, and does not care what anyone else will think. We have gone through such fashion stages as wearing a tail :D, and he wears a knit hat so frequently (even in summer) that his female friends make a big fuss whenever they do get to see his hair. :tongue_smilie: I try to pick my battles, but it's true as moms we are trying to prevent them from being teased or bullied because of their clothes or behavior. So it's rough. Hang in there! :grouphug: Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I would go online and see if I could find the exact pants in a larger size. I lucked out with a particular pair of shoes that my son liked. They were velcro sneakers and they weren't discontinued and he was able to keep the style and color, simply changing sizes. That lasted through 4 or 5 size changes, until he was forced to wear men's sizes. Now he wears a knock off brand of Vans slip-ons. His attire is very simple as well. He wears elastic waist sports type pants, like you would see an athlete wearing. He will not wear anything else. He wears tshirts only. Short sleeves only. Same type of mens Hanes socks. This outfit lasts through all seasons for him. I'm lucky he lets me get him different colors of pants and shirts, but he has no sense of fashion and will pair colors that don't match, so I had to start buying colors that would match no matter what he pulled out of the drawer. I'm bummed that he won't wear jeans. The sports pants with tshirts are not what teens his age are wearing. He really doesn't care, especially because he doesn't have any friends anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Oh brother, do I know where you are coming from. My 8 yr. old Aspie will only wear pants with an elastic waistband. After toddler sizes, not much comes in elastic other than sweatpants. I did find some pants at Target with elastic waists, but I don't know what I'm going to do when he grows out of those. My ds15 is the same way. We buy pants similar to these: athletic pants I buy mostly from Kohls now, but I'm fairly certain I got some at Target and/or Walmart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I would go online and see if I could find the exact pants in a larger size. I lucked out with a particular pair of shoes that my son liked. They were velcro sneakers and they weren't discontinued and he was able to keep the style and color, simply changing sizes. That lasted through 4 or 5 size changes, until he was forced to wear men's sizes. Now he wears a knock off brand of Vans slip-ons. His attire is very simple as well. He wears elastic waist sports type pants, like you would see an athlete wearing. He will not wear anything else. He wears tshirts only. Short sleeves only. Same type of mens Hanes socks. This outfit lasts through all seasons for him. I'm lucky he lets me get him different colors of pants and shirts, but he has no sense of fashion and will pair colors that don't match, so I had to start buying colors that would match no matter what he pulled out of the drawer. I'm bummed that he won't wear jeans. The sports pants with tshirts are not what teens his age are wearing. He really doesn't care, especially because he doesn't have any friends anyway. My ds isn't aspie, but he's just like this. Right now it's cold and he won't change out of his athletic shorts and t-shirts. He will wear long athletic pants all winter, thankfully the few pairs he own should last until Christmas , length wise. He went through a phase as a toddler where he would wear only denim shorts, now it's athletic pants and shorts. He's outgrowing the pants length and a men's small is still too big. I'm not sure what we'll do in the interim. He has a self-imposed uniform. Right now it's a Coke shirt and a Mountain Dew shirt. He wants an A&W root beer shirt and he'd be set. Maybe an Einstein and Minecraft shirt too. My ds doesn't give a rip what other people think about how he dresses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 (edited) I'm bummed that he won't wear jeans. The sports pants with tshirts are not what teens his age are wearing. He really doesn't care, especially because he doesn't have any friends anyway. One of my sons is like this, too. He refuses to even try on a pair of jeans. He prefers t-shirts, sweatshirts, and hoodies to have a Red Sox theme. He wears slip-on shoes. He could not care less about fashion or about what other teens wear. Edited October 28, 2011 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Lands End carries elastic waist pants in every color and denim! Good to know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maeintx Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Oh brother, do I know where you are coming from. My 8 yr. old Aspie will only wear pants with an elastic waistband. After toddler sizes, not much comes in elastic other than sweatpants. I did find some pants at Target with elastic waists, but I don't know what I'm going to do when he grows out of those. Children's Place has great cargo pants with an elastic waistband. I don't know what we'll do when we outgrow those. We had size 7's, then 8's, and now 10's. In both the lighter summer fabric and heavier winter fabric. (Yea, he likes the same pants!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natalieclare Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I love this thread! I've thought about starting a similar for many days now...only mine would be about how much my son hates cargo pants, jeans, and khakis and will only wear soft, fleecy, elastic waisted pants. I do not like him looking like a toddler when he is 15. :p I did find some cargo pants with a soft elastic waist--I couldn't believe it when they passed the test. And like most of the other boys mentioned in this thread, he has no concept of too short. Just no concept. What I really don't understand is how the feeling of his pants is sooooo monumental, but he walks around with the heels burst out of his socks and doesn't seem to be bothered one little bit. What's up with that??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I'm not sure that's just an aspie thing. My older son is the same way. He once came out dressed in his brother's pants (his brother is almost 3.5 years younger). He didn't notice. The other day it was freezing outside and he put on shorts and a t-shirt. If it's hot he will put on a sweat suit. It's like he has no concept for what to wear or temperature/weather. He also has a knack for picking out the rattiest thing he can find in his drawer/closet when we have to be somewhere requiring us to be somewhat presentable. I only hang onto a couple of rattier things in case we will do something messy outside, but otherwise I can't keep that stuff in his reach or he will wear it. He will also wear the same thing for a week in a row no matter how dirty it gets (if I let him). :lol: My (NT) kids, too!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Why do we have to change our clothes because someone else might think they are too short? As long as he is comfortable, why should it be of any interest to me what length his pants are? Why would I get rid of perfectly good pants for such a trivial reason? Why would I waste money on the same pants in a longer length. My oh My! I had this exact conversation nearly WORD FOR WORD with Ds15 just before school started. What it comes down to for him is that he HATES trying on clothes that don't fit. Even one pair of the wrong size jeans will bring on a pout - 2 for a tantrum. He has been known to take jeans into the fitting room and come out and say "these are good" without ever trying them on just so he can avoid the feel. Thank goodness for traditions! Our tradition is that everyone gets new clothes right before school starts in the fall. One Mandatory shopping trip each year, whether he likes it or not. Sigh. :grouphug: He says he wants to go to college somewhere where he only needs to wear shorts every day..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Fortunately ds has an older sister that orders him around a wee bit and helps with clothing. She worked long and hard on "no cargo pants if you are going to fill the pockets with stuff!" And then there is my other favorite rule, "no skipping when going to meetings in the high school and really no skipping in the high school in your snow boots!" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NittanyJen Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I'm not sure that's just an aspie thing. My older son is the same way. He once came out dressed in his brother's pants (his brother is almost 3.5 years younger). He didn't notice. The other day it was freezing outside and he put on shorts and a t-shirt. If it's hot he will put on a sweat suit. It's like he has no concept for what to wear or temperature/weather. He also has a knack for picking out the rattiest thing he can find in his drawer/closet when we have to be somewhere requiring us to be somewhat presentable. I only hang onto a couple of rattier things in case we will do something messy outside, but otherwise I can't keep that stuff in his reach or he will wear it. He will also wear the same thing for a week in a row no matter how dirty it gets (if I let him). This is exactly my (probably) neurotypical son. The one day he was bothered was the day he attempted a button-down shirt for the first time. "Moooooooom! This shirt HURTS!". "Well, let's try taking it off of the hanger and see if that helps." That day strained my ability to not laugh directly at him to the maximum as I thought, "This is my gifted child????" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 (edited) Well, my 16 y.o. teen insists on wearing sweat pants during the winters and elastic athletic shorts (to the knees) in the summers. He will only wear his beloved Crocs. And only cotton shirts. He will tolerate dress pants or dressy jeans if the venue has good food. ;) But he will complain during the entire evening of how uncomfortable he is -- he is also super picky on types of socks and blankets to sleep in. And yes, ds is borderline Asperger Syndrome. Edited October 28, 2011 by tex-mex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 He says he wants to go to college somewhere where he only needs to wear shorts every day..... I've always been super-picky about clothes myself -- I went to college near St. Paul, Minnesota, and wore shorts every day, year round, because they were the only pants I felt comfortable in. Drove my mother nuts. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bzymom Posted October 28, 2011 Author Share Posted October 28, 2011 It is good to know I am not alone! I will do what I usually do--buy new ones, get rid of the old ones, and never mention it again. I will also have to box up all his shorts and put them in the basement storage room, and get rid of all sandals/flip-flops. And my adult aspie still wears cargo pants. And carries a 2-liter bottle of soda in his pocket. At.all.times. So, ya know. It is all relative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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