How much time do you spend playing with your children?

[AnnaM]

To be clear, I am always available for my kids. They are number one whenever they need and most of the time when they want me. I wonder though, if I actually sit down and play with them enough? It seems to come in spurts through the day. 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there,which I suppose adds up, but to be honest they really prefer to play with each other most of the time with me just getting a "momma come look!" every now and then. We do spend alot of time in the same rooms, but I am usually cooking, cleaning or tending to some other chore while we are together. Is just being near me enough or do you think that actually sitting down and playing for long stretches is required?

 

 

My loves are 7 years, 6 years and 3 years if that helps your response.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I played with them more when they were even younger. Now, since I don't know how to play things "right" (as in, I don't know how to talk like Yoda, or I don't know who is a Jedi or who is a clone, etc.), they mostly just want me to play board games with them. I'd say I spend about an hour to an hour and a half per week of just outright playing with them. On top of that and school, we read a lot of books together, make crafts together, bake things together, take walks together, etc.

[SKL]

My kids are 4/5 and I don't play with them. Sometimes I will entertain their fantasy play ("here's your dinner, mom"), or say "ohhh / and then what happened?" when they tell me their latest pretend adventure, but that's about it.

 

They are super good at playing without me.

[jenL]

I will be honest. I don't get down on the floor & play with my boys. I read to them, do arts/crafts with them (although I'm not a big fan of the messes), go for walks with them, and I spend time with them in the same room or cuddled together to watch a movie/show. We also play board or card games together.

 

I don't like to pretend play with them. I am horrible at it since I don't get or care about some of the stories they create (Star Wars is one I can think of), and I find pretend play to be boring. I know that sounds horrible, but it's the truth. They have each other, and they are privvy to at least one playdate a week.

 

I don't feel I am depriving them because I am available to them in all other aspects whenever they want/need me. I also think it's important for children to not rely on their parents for every part of their existence.

 

eta - I hope this makes sense, my boys and dh are wrestling loudly as I attempt to type this. :tongue_smilie:

[Joker]

I played a lot until they were about 4 yrs old (most of my day was spent on the floor). They started wanting to play mostly with each other around that time.

[Tarreymere]

:lol: I must have missed that memo! I've nursed them, co-slept with them, changed them, and everything else that goes with the mom job, but I do not play with them. Unless it is a board game or something of that sort. I do facilitate their own playing, like saving a box for them to turn into a house and that kind of thing, and I bake lots of cookies.Trust me, they do not feel deprived if you don't play with them.

[Rosie_0801]

When I was a toddler, my aunts came to teach me to play because apparently I couldn't. They weren't very thorough instructors, coz I still can't. My kids still love me anyway. Apparently I'm very good at cuddling.

 

Rosie

[Jyniffrec]

Momma doesn't play here anymore. I used to and the kids got very demanding. I do spend time with them like the other posters have said, though.

[justamouse]

I had to learn to play with them. It was really hard for me, but once I decided to-and decided to be present when I did, our relationships got a lot better. 3 and 6 yes, a lot of playing, still. But I still have fun with my older kids. We verbally play a lot. We tease, joke, all good natured. The older ones like big play, now. Fishing, canoeing, hiking, ball games and such, but it's all still play.

Edited October 24, 2011 by justamouse

[KatA]

Not to completely hijack your thread because I have been wondering that too. We only have one toddler and no plans on having another child. So my son doesn't have any one except me during the day to play with (except for playgroups). But for the other posters that have say they don't play with their kids, would you do the same if it was only one child? I feel obligated because he is the only child to play with him.

[Mergath]

I swear, some days I think that's all I do. We play with blocks, with little princess figurines, we pretend, we go to the playground... I suppose it might be different if I had more than one, but right now we spend a lot of time playing.

[Perogi]

I'm not a player by nature. I don't play a lot with my kids. There are 3 of them fairly close in age and they do a great job of playing together. I bake with them at times or they help me make dinner, I occasionally play a board game or do a puzzle, they often bring me pretend plates of food or something which I pretend eat and they often ask me to pretend to be someone as I'm doing my normal mom stuff. Dh is better at playing with them - he wrestles, plays cars, plays hide and seek, etc.

[Farrar]

I play sometimes. Some days for an hour or two total. Other days not at all. I recognize that my kids enjoy playing with me - doing non-school art together, playing board games, wrestling or being silly together. It's important time for them, especially when they get me to themselves. So I think it's important, but I don't feel obligated to do it for long stretches. I think it's better that the default be that they play on their own and that playing with me or dh is a special thing.

[Ellie]

I don't play with my children.

 

I read aloud to them, I spend time with them, I hug and kiss them, but I do NOT play with them.

[MrsBasil]

I have a 2.5 year old and that's it for another day and a half, so it can feel like all the time. *shrug* beats cleaning.

 

Of course, everything is play to him. "Come on, we're going to WASH WALLS!! You get your own spray bottle!" He thinks it's a treat. :tongue_smilie: This is the same kid who thinks laundry basketball(he throws dirty clothes into the washer) is super fun. We do play normal stuff too.

[Carrie-txmama2six]

No, I do not play with my children except the occasional board or card game. My kids are all pretty close in age and play together.

[jubilation]

When DD was my only child, I played with her quite a bit. She wanted constant interaction.

 

Now that she is older, she is very into elaborate imagination games with her little toys, so doesn't ask me to play with her often. Toddler DS has been self-entertaining from the start, and kind of does his own thing. I'm supervising more than playing most of the time, other than the occasional tickle fight or hide and seek.

 

DS has speech delays, so I've made more of an effort to get down on the floor and have one-on-one playtime with him lately, even though he doesn't request it.

[sewingmama]

I homeschool them, I take them to the park, I take them geocaching, I watch videos with them, I watch them do things when they ask me to, I get the things they need for play,I bake with them, I brush the tangles out of Barbie hair, we do art and craft and I make playdough for them - I do things with them all day long but no I don't really play creatively with them -I'm no good at it and they have never asked me to LOL

[Stayseeliz]

I think a lot of it has to do with whether or not you're a "kid" person. I am not. I wish I was but I'm not. I was sitting on the bed talking to my 7 and 10 year old kiddos tonight and it was just so pleasant. No one was bouncing around, yelling or screaming. I loved it! I will do crafts, etc but I don't often build a fort. I will get on the trampoline and play with them though.

[Embassy]

With my older two I play occasionally. They love it when I play with them. We have a bit of fun in school together. My little girl wants to play all the time so we play off and on most days.

[Bluezoo5]

I thought my reward for having 3 babies within 14 months of each other was not having to play with them because they have each other! In all seriousness though, as many of the other posters have said, we do lots of stuff together, but not so much in the area of pretend play or playing with their toys together. They play great together.

 

However, that being said I think that it would be more important to spend time playing if I had an only child. I was an only child and I remember my mom spending quite a bit of time playing with me.

 

I think it's nice for kids to have a balance of learning to play with siblings and other friends, but also to develop the skill of playing alone sometimes too.

[Night Elf]

My kids are teens now. I rather miss the days of 'playing'. When they were younger, I loved playing with them. I was all about sitting on the floor and playing with Hot Wheels, Legos, dolls, or having tea parties (we used juice and cookies). I tried to play with my children whenever they asked me to. But if your kids aren't asking and they seem to be fine playing with one another, I don't think you need to feel guilty.

[MHowell]

I don't 'play' with them... But I do read, color, and help them when needed. Like reading the name off the bottom of every. single. smurf. It's annoying more than it is fun, but that's usually all he asks of me.

 

 

Oh! On Fridays we (D and I) play with play-doh that we make. It's our Friday thing, since D doesn't go to school on Fridays but K does.

 

I cannot recall playing with K. But I worked A LOT when she was D's age. I don't recall a lot of things from back then.

[Heather in Neverland]

I will be honest. I don't get down on the floor & play with my boys. I read to them, do arts/crafts with them (although I'm not a big fan of the messes), go for walks with them, and I spend time with them in the same room or cuddled together to watch a movie/show. We also play board or card games together.

 

I don't like to pretend play with them. I am horrible at it since I don't get or care about some of the stories they create (Star Wars is one I can think of), and I find pretend play to be boring. I know that sounds horrible, but it's the truth. They have each other, and they are privvy to at least one playdate a week.

 

I don't feel I am depriving them because I am available to them in all other aspects whenever they want/need me. I also think it's important for children to not rely on their parents for every part of their existence.

 

eta - I hope this makes sense, my boys and dh are wrestling loudly as I attempt to type this. :tongue_smilie:

 

This is me too... reading, walks, talks, watching movies together, board games, etc. But I don't "pretend" play. Although I HAVE been known to indulge in a little nerf gun war now and then. :)

[Joyofsixreboot]

We snuggle, we read, we talk but not much play. I will push on swings and merry go round and I throw them around at the pool but I won't be playing dolls.

[AnnaM]

Relief. Haha. For some reason I pictured all the "good" mom's on the floor having tea parties and playing superman. Nice to know my kids get a normal amount of time (and type) of interaction from me!

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

Actually I play with dd quite alot. We spend much of the day together besides school time. Coloring, which includes chatting; crafting together, which includes chatting; puzzle making, which includes chatting. Even when she plays dolls she includes me...I am usually the neighbor she meets on the street or the babysitter. I also can become the sales lady, the shopper, and just about anything she wants me to be when she plays pretend. With dd, you pretty much get drawn into her pretend world even if you are busy, she just works with what you are doing. Busy cooking...you get interviewed. Getting dressed...you become the subject of a fashion show. Driving through town...you become a tour guide or sight seer. You get the idea.

[IsabelC]

I think it varies a lot from one family to another, but I think that as a loving and observant mother you would know if you weren't giving them enough play time with you.

[twoforjoy]

I really don't play much with my kids. I read to them, I joke with them, I'll sometimes blow bubbles or kick a ball around in the yard with them, and when they're old enough, I'll play the occasional board game, but that's about it. With DD, I'll often play for a few minutes to get her started doing something (like play with the blocks with her for a short time so she starts playing with them) but then she's on her own.

 

I used to have tons of guilt about this. I felt like I was doing something wrong because I didn't spend a lot of time playing. It was especially difficult because DS is an incredibly social kid, and was an only child until he was almost 6. He wanted me to play with him all day. I could spend an hour or two playing with him and it wouldn't be enough and he'd still whine and cry for me to play with him more. I was miserable, because I was spending way more time sitting on the floor pushing cars around than made me feel fulfilled or productive, and he was still not happy. At a certain point I realized that it wasn't that abnormal to not spend all day playing, and I started encouraging DS to play alone much more, and it worked out much better for both of us.

[vonfirmath]

Not to completely hijack your thread because I have been wondering that too. We only have one toddler and no plans on having another child. So my son doesn't have any one except me during the day to play with (except for playgroups). But for the other posters that have say they don't play with their kids, would you do the same if it was only one child? I feel obligated because he is the only child to play with him.

 

We've had an only up until last August -- and effectively an only for a bit longer.

 

And yes, Dad and I are his main playmate. I try to play with him - -and encourage him to play games/do puzzles because I seem to be able to do that sort of "play" better than imaginary. Or I have him tell me what he wants out of me. Because otherwise I never seem to know the right thing to do for him!

[Upward Journey]

My oldest was an only for 6 years and I did play with him until he was about 8ish, but not all the time. This consisted of a lot of lego building (which I enjoy), making roads & train tracks for his vehicles, playmobil, and board/card games. #2 was reading well at age 4, so around that time I was off the hook ;) I also didn't have time to play by then, because we were homeschooling and there were 4 of them, including a new baby.