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Asking the Hive: Neighborhood Bullies


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We live in a quiet neighborhood. Probably lower middle class, lots of hard working families. Within the last 5 years there's been a bit of a baby boom and there is a group of about 10 kids on our block that all play together nicely. There's a few squabbles, but just normal kids stuff.

 

This spring we had a family (let's call them Family A) move in that has been terrorizing the neighborhood. It's a single mom with two kids, but also other grandkids, nieces, etc., so there is 8-10 ppl living there at any one time.

 

The oldest (18yrs) is in and out of jail; has pulled a gun on another teen down the street; and has had the police out here looking for him several times. One of the other kids has to go to the special school for violent kids and has been in and out of juvy. The other ones are bulling the kids on the schoolbus and all the kids on the block. (And this is only SOME of the stuff that's been going on. :()

 

Since we homeschool we've been able to avoid the worst of the trouble. But the few times DS (7yrs) has been outside to play he's been bullied by the Family A kids, even with me standing right there. (I don't let him play in the front without supervision anyway.)

 

So now all the neighborhood kids, except for Family A, are hiding inside their houses rather than playing outside. When the kids aren't bullying, they're going into neighbor's yards and taking stuff. Mom A will stop the kids sometimes, but she's really not an involved or concerned parent.

 

It's ridiculous that one family is holding an entire block hostage. There's been a flurry of phone calls between homes, but most families afraid to get involved. But what can we/should do, if anything?

 

Should we contact her landlord and tell them what's been going on? Confront the Mom and ask that she somehow control the kids behavior? (I don't think this will work since she told her son to "kick (another kid)'s a**" before.) Call the police? Call CPS? (Both of which are already involved with this family anyway.) Ignore it and stay quietly inside our houses and hope she moves soon? (She's a renter)

 

I'm open to any suggestion! :bigear:

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Get a letter drawn up with signatures of all the families on the block. Present it to her landlord, certified mail. Send a copy of it to the local PD and CPS. It will at least go on file and the landlord may feel the pressure to not renew the lease. I know some places have a three strikes, you're out rule for tenants (if the cops are called three times, the landlord gives the boot).

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:grouphug: That's terrible. If you hadn't mentioned a gun, I'd say maybe try to get a delegation of neighbors together and talk to the mom, but I don't know how that would go. Do you know the landlord well? Maybe the landlord is having problems with them as well. I might call the police just to have it on record in case something serious happens.

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The police were called for the gun incident. And for the time that he was overheard yelling on the phone (they're always outside talking on their cell phones) to "come and get him," and then yelling into the house that there was going to be some shooting and to get inside and hide. :scared: He was sitting on the front lawn waiting for the drive-by when the cops finally came to diffuse the situation.

 

My friend (who called about the shooting incident) asked the police about this family and was told that we do NOT want them as neighbors. The 18yr old has made a target of himself by turning other thugs into the police in order to save his own skin. The police told her to move because they can't protect her since he keeps getting into trouble. She says she won't move unless they pay for it. (She's a Section 8 renter.)

 

CPS has already been there threatening to take the grandkids away unless their mother (Mom A's daughter) comes and gets them. Empty threats because nothing has been done about that. The parents have even tried getting the kids kicked off the schoolbus for bullying and foul language, but so far all that's happened is there's been an aid put on the bus.

 

The Family A kids will corner the neighborhood kids (even with the parents there) and verbally abuse them, trying to get the kids to fight or burst into tears. If they won't fight, then the Family A kids follow the kids up and down the sidewalk, bumping into them with their bikes.

 

It's like our own personal gangland. *sigh*

Edited by photojenic
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Do you have a back yard? If you do, have your kids play there. I would keep a close eye on them because of the situation. If Family A's kids come on your property or you see them taking anyone's things, you need to call the police. You can ask that they keep your identity anonymous.

 

I would try to band together with the other families and do back yard fun things. Is there a park many of you can go to, en masse?

 

Write all incidents down. Get in polite with the police. Do send a letter to the landlord.

 

Are drugs involved?

 

I moved once to get away from a family like this. Ugh.

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We do play in the backyard sometimes It's just that the kids also like to ride their bikes and scooters, and driveway is too short and the alley too dangerous.

 

I was hoping the Hive could come up with some great ideas that we hadn't thought of yet. But I think there are no easy answers in this situation. :glare:

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Bumping...

 

Any other ideas? The street has been deserted all week except for the kids from Family A (who are now throwing rocks at cars to entertain themselves). It's so sad.... :sad:

Did anyone call the police?

 

I would call for every criminal action. Aside from contacting the police and CPS, I don't know that you have any other legal recourse.

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Get a letter drawn up with signatures of all the families on the block. Present it to her landlord, certified mail. Send a copy of it to the local PD and CPS. It will at least go on file and the landlord may feel the pressure to not renew the lease. I know some places have a three strikes, you're out rule for tenants (if the cops are called three times, the landlord gives the boot).

 

I agree. You've received some good advice already. It sounds like it's just a matter of time before the floor falls out from under them, and they'll be gone. Sad.

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Contacting the landlord with copies of the police reports could help.

 

Can you move if it doesn't?

This.:iagree:Copies of police reports. And who knows what they've been doing to the inside of the place, right?

Are there that many of them? I don't like to say stand up to them (meaning the children) because then they may go get big brother/uncle and then things could get ugly.

This is a very sad situation.

If you are renting, does your landlord know about the situation?

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Get together with the other neighbors and make sure that someone (or more than one person) calls the police every. single. time. If they steal something, call the police. If they threaten children, call the police. If they are throwing rocks at cars, call the police. We have neighbors like that and after numerous incidents where the police were called, they settled down and one of the older troublemaker children seems to have gone away. We had the nicest summer ever. The young bully stayed away and even spent most of his time in his own backyard.

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Get together with the other neighbors and make sure that someone (or more than one person) calls the police every. single. time. If they steal something, call the police. If they threaten children, call the police. If they are throwing rocks at cars, call the police. We have neighbors like that and after numerous incidents where the police were called, they settled down and one of the older troublemaker children seems to have gone away. We had the nicest summer ever. The young bully stayed away and even spent most of his time in his own backyard.

 

:iagree:

 

I'm sorry you are having to deal with that. :(

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Every time they are throwing rocks at cars I would call 911. I would also contact the landlord with the facts that these people he/she has rented to are the menace of the neighborhood and have criminal tendencies.

 

I would not have the kids stand up to them because they sound truly dangerous. I would ask for a special police patrol instead.

Edited by laundrycrisis
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Get together with the other neighbors and make sure that someone (or more than one person) calls the police every. single. time. If they steal something, call the police. If they threaten children, call the police. If they are throwing rocks at cars, call the police. We have neighbors like that and after numerous incidents where the police were called, they settled down and one of the older troublemaker children seems to have gone away. We had the nicest summer ever. The young bully stayed away and even spent most of his time in his own backyard.

 

:iagree:This is what I would do! so sorry you are having cr@ppy neighbor issues.

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My heart goes out to you. We have one difficult boy in our apt. complex, but the worst he does is call my boys and their friend "pretty gals" and uses cuss words. (His is also a sad situation.)

 

Honestly. . . in your situation I would move. . . especially if I sent a letter to the landlord w/ everyone's signed name from the neighborhood.

 

I look at people like Nicole Simpson and often wonder, "if you knew OJ was going to kill you, what would you have done differently? Would you have contacted a womans' shelter? Gone into hiding? Hired 24 hr. protection?"

 

I know that none of us has a crystal ball, but guns, throwing rocks at cars and bullying your kids right in front of you? This family is a powder keg.

 

Alley

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So now all the neighborhood kids, except for Family A, are hiding inside their houses rather than playing outside. When the kids aren't bullying, they're going into neighbor's yards and taking stuff. Mom A will stop the kids sometimes, but she's really not an involved or concerned parent.

 

 

 

start with calling the police over this issue. Request that they start patroling. It may send the problems back into their home.

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We had neighbors a couple doors down who were similar and also section 8 tenants. They didn't bother *us* so much, but my poor neighbor. Oh my. They made so much noise she couldn't get any sleep. We're in a rowhouse block so that's a big issue around here sometimes.

 

She began lobbying the city arm who was involved with them to get them out of there. She spoke with our elected officials as well as the administrative folks in charge of the section 8 housing. She called in noise complaints about them every single time. She called the police on them constantly. I also called the cops about them repeatedly (while it wasn't the most violent thing that has ever happened on our inner city block, one of the times I called the cops on them was the only time I've ever actually hidden after seeing something - a fight with multiple blunt instruments out and potentially guns too - as I was in the middle of calling, I saw a baseball bat come out followed by a gun and I ducked down behind the brick). Anyway, it took her about 8 months from the time she started, but at the end, they were removed, mostly due to her efforts. And then she got some sleep.

 

So... if they're section 8, it can be done. Good luck.

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