Why is early college such a bad thing?

[Kay in Cal]

I went to college at 17, so that's my "norm". My dh had just turned 18, but he's only 3 months older than me. I never felt younger or out of place.

 

I also went to a school that accepts quite a few accelerated students (JHU)--so in my freshman dorm we had an 18 year old senior and 14 year old sophomore. All of the younger students were grouped in one dorm, which just happened to be the one I lived in. Even at the time I thought it was kind of cool. I don't remember anyone thinking they were weird or strange. OK, it's a geek school anyhow.

 

Looking at the future, early admission is a very real possibility for my older ds. He is socially awkward--genetics run true. He's going to be socially awkward at 12... and 14, 16, 20, and probably at 25, if I could hazard a guess. If he matriculated at a very young age I would envisage having him live at home and take college classes. But even if he just ends up in regular college a "little bit" young... say 16 ... why is that so horrible?

 

I know we all have very different experiences and expectations. I guess I find it sort of strange that so many people are so vehement that thier children will remain at home until 18 or 19 no matter what!

[lynn]

It's one of those things some parent are okay with and others are not.

[Mrs Mungo]

I started college at 17 and I think it was fine (my birthday is in November). However, I also lived at home and commuted, I didn't live in the dorms. My eldest has a December birthday. If we continue on the sort of grade track I currently have her on she will "graduate" at 18 but I think I would be fine with accelerating her and having her start college at 17 if I felt she was ready.

[H.S. Burrow]

We don't have a "no matter what" mentality here. My DH (June B-day) graduated hs at 17 and then went to college 2 months after 18th b-day. He says that he wished he'd have waited...his brother (July B-day) feels the same way. Since our DS has an August b-day, we are taking steps now to pace ourselves for a 18 yr old hs graduate and start college at 19.

 

That said...DS WILL be taking dual credit classes beginning 10th/11th grade at the local community college. We can always reevaluate later...if we need to.

 

Our DD has an October b-day and will start college at 18 and turn 19 just after.

 

It's not set in stone...if something happens along the way, then we'll reevaluate the situation. But I do believe that in most cases, the added maturity (a year in our DS' case) is to the student's benefit.

[RoughCollie]

I started college at 17 and I was none the worse for wear for it.

 

I like the idea of a gap year, though, so if any of my kids finish early, and they have a purpose for a gap year, I will encourage it. OTOH, if the kid wants to go to college early, I'm all for that, too.

 

DH likes the idea of the kids getting their educations done ASAP, with no gaps.

 

My point of view is that they have their lives to get educated, work, marry, have families, and that a one year gap will not make a difference in the long run.

 

At the point one or more of my kids is ready for college, whether they go and when they go will be more up to them than to me.

 

RC

[Brigitte]

My guess is that there are a couple of factors playing into that notion. The first is that many kids are starting school later or being held back. So your 16 y.o.s freshman classes are filled with 19, almost 20 year old kids, instead of the newly minted 18 year olds we were freshman with. Boys in particular are older and do you really want your 16 year old daughter thrown into an environment with 19 to 20 year old guys? Maybe not.

 

The second is that the dorms are frequently co-ed now. They are not grouping the younger students together and they are not only putting boys and girls in the same building, they are putting them on the same floor and sometimes same suite. At 16, this would be a hard situation to be put into and particularly for a girl.

 

Finally, the party atmosphere of many colleges and universities is virtually unavoidable. I had a niece (a freshman) and nephew (a sophmore) leave their college after this past fall and come home to go to community college because the partying was too much for them. My niece who was 18 when she arrived hated being subjected to drunk roommates and seeing all the awful behavior. My nephew who is on the old side for his class was having too hard a time staying out of trouble because of the partying. He could not handle it and felt it better to remove himself entirely from the that environment. Again, not a situation I would put my younger college bound child into. The pressure to be part of the crowd would be overwhelming, especially for a young student who wants to not be singled out.

 

My husband thinks our girls should stay home for all 4 years of college and they can go away for their masters. I suppose he really plans on arranging their marriages and keeping them home until they marry. JK. I told him by 16 we will probably be ready to have at least Twin B out of the house. ;)

[abbeyej]

I'm with you on this, Kay. Dh and I were both slightly accelerated and began college at 17. I think it's very possible that one or both of our children will be more than ready for college before 18 as well.

 

I do think that if I had a child who was ready for college much before 16, I would do everything in my power to keep that child living at home, regardless of how creative we had to be about academics... I'm hoping that since dh is a professor, they can simply take some classes at his university, and it will be relatively easy to give them what they need while keeping them under our roof...

 

Certainly there are things I wish I could go back and change about my college experience -- the choices I made, etc. But I absolutely don't regret leaving home at 17 and going to college 3,000 miles away. I sure hope my own kids won't go quite so far away, but if that's the best fit for them, we'll make it work.

[Diana in OR]

I started college at 17 as well. I was 150 miles from home. I lived in the dorms and didn't have a car(most of the girls in my dorm didn't, either), so I couldn't really go anywhere.

 

I graduated and started my first teaching job at 21. I have no regrets about that at all. It's funny, too. I think I pretty much look my age, if not a bit older. But now, at 41, when I talk about teaching 20 years ago, I get comments about how I don't look old enough to have been a teacher 20 years ago. (Yes, it feels good :001_smile:).

[Kay in Cal]

Well... I went to school 20 years ago but I was in a co-ed dorm, co-ed floor. Most of the accelerated students were boys, actually. I've never heard of co-ed dorm suites, however.

 

I moved into an apartment my sophomore year at 18--shared with a girl, and at 19 moved to another apartment--we had three girls and two boys (and two cats--they ate the mice) in a 5 bedroom apartment, though the next year one of the girls moved out and another boy moved in. We did all share one bathroom, but it really wasn't a problem. I loved that apartment.

[Old Dominion Heather]

My views are colored by my friend who started college with me when she was almost 16. She lived at home and couldn't drive when she started school. She wasn't old enough to participate in most of the college stuff, she felt like she never fit in. She ended up dropping out at 18 and working full time at McDonald's as a manager. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but she had the potential to do absolutely anything. She is absolutely one of the most intelligent people I have ever known.

 

Anyway, she maintains that skipping grades and starting college early was the worst thing that her parents ever did to her. She never finished school and she regrets it and wishes she could go back and finish.

 

So my opinion is colored by her experience.

[Jugglin'5]

This will probably seem like a silly reason...when you are younger than your friends, and they want to go have a Guinness at the bar, and you can't without having a fake I.D., well, it can be a recipe for trouble. I'm not talking about wild partying, just responsible socializing. It can be tough to be always the last one, or left out totally.

[Mrs Mungo]

This will probably seem like a silly reason...when you are younger than your friends' date=' and they want to go have a Guinness at the bar, and you can't without having a fake I.D., well, it can be a recipe for trouble. I'm not talking about wild partying, just responsible socializing. It can be tough to be always the last one, or left out totally.[/quote']

 

Oh, see, I'm a big nerd and hung out with nerds. So...drinking really wasn't a big issue for me in college. :tongue_smilie::D

[Pamela H in Texas]

Kay, I really think a lot depends on the individuals involved.

 

I personally LIKE the idea of a child being home until 20, but that may or may not be best for them. But I think there is some protection of "going home to mom," especially at 15, 16, 17yrs old. They can discuss stuff that comes up, have some guidance in regards to that cute 20yo in class, etc. They also get a lot more wholesome family time which counteracts some of what they may see or hear.

 

But having a child who started Algebra for the first time at age 7, I figured out pretty early that we may need to make some allowances for this child who would not likely homeschool 11th grade like as normal. Sure, we could do A LOT, I just don't believe we could have done right by her and I'm WAY against having a kid do tons up upper level courses and then having to do them again 2 years later.

 

BTW, I didn't make projections though and had I, I would have made some really bad ones. We figured out how to make things less linear and more broad and deep along the way. We took rabbit trails and enjoyed "vacations." Though my daughter did a couple courses quite early, she didn't start college consistently. That will be next fall. She'll be 15 for another month after school starts.

 

So I'm inbetween. And so is my kid. She doesn't WANT to go OFF to college at 15. But she needs all college level classes and probably could have done so at least 2 years ago. But I'm glad that though the last couple years were sloppy (though formal) we did them the way we did.

 

All kids are different. Maybe another family could have done differently. I think people tend to do what will work for them and reevaluate along the way. Had it been different, I guess my kid could have waited til almost 19 (due to bday) or gone full time at 11. But instead, we are who we are and did what we did :)

[Pamela H in Texas]

Some information shows that kids that are accelerated fare better than those that could have accelerated and didn't. My baby sister did BEAUTIFULLY when she accelerated (on her own terms). I believe much of my later teenage junk was directly tied with my parents not even considering college for 11th and 12th. I really, again, think it just depends. I think it could be downright dangerous not to accelerate some kids and downright best not to for others. And there is everything possible inbetween.

[st_claire]

I say it depends on the kid. You have to see how mature they are. I went to university at 17 and was fine. My sister went at 19 and was not ready yet.

 

You can also do things to lessen the switch like have them go part time at first. Or commute from home.

 

If they aren't ready yet, have them take a year to travel, or do another year of high school, or start a business, or work. Lots of options :)

[JenneinCA]

I don't know either. I was 17 almost 18 when I started college, my birthday is in October.

 

It was absolutely the best thing I could have done. The dorm was wonderful and there were guys on my floor. But they didn't cause problems. It was finally, finally a place that I could fit in.

 

I am currently dealing with a child that may end up going to college early. I am frantically trying to stay ahead of her needs. If college is the best place for her at a younger than normal age, then that is what we will do. And if it isn't then we will find something else.

[Kay in Cal]

I can see going with something like this: http://www.calstatela.edu/academic/eep/ for a very young student (I believe they start students as young as 11). But there are also lots of great schools close enough that our child could commute--UCLA, Cal-Tech, Harvey Mudd, to name just a few. I wish your daughter all the best!

[Ellie]

of course, we were in California and it was community college, but still, both dds began taking classes when they were 14.

 

If I had it to do over again, I would probably have kept a little more control on older dd's time at the c.c. because of some other things that happened, but I still love the idea of doing c.c. instead of high school:D

[LizzyBee]

I don't think early college is a bad thing for every kid. But I don't think smart kids should feel like they're being rushed to adulthood, either. It just depends on the specific child and family, I think. I know SWB finished college very young and plans the opposite for her kids. I finished high school in three years and started college at 17, but ended up quitting and then going back later. I wasn't scarred for life, but the early start was not helpful in any way, either.

[Kanga]

I don't think there is one right answer on early college. I think this is a personal and individual decision that should be made based on the child's needs and temperment. We let my dd start taking college classes at 16 while living at home. She has done well both academically and socially (she of course found the other former hs students), but I have had a lot of people make disparaging remarks to me for allowing her to do so. My dd has liked living at home while going to college, so she is going to continue to do so through at least her B.S.

[Jenny in Florida]

I started full-time at the community college when I was 16. To this day, my only regret is that I didn't go earlier. Absolutely saved my life.

 

My daughter went away to school--a special residential early entrance program for gifted girls--this year when she was 12. She had a great year, got very good grades, made friends, sang with two vocal groups, (briefly) did her own show in the college radio station, worked with the theatre department, got invitations from two different professors to apply for teaching assistant positions next year, was selected as a peer advisor to help a group of freshmen next year . . .

 

She's home now for the summer, researching graduate programs and planning the world tour she and her friends are going to take after they finish grad school, but can't wait to go back in the fall.

[KAR120C]

I think it's like early academics for littles too... For some kids starting them early really would be "stealing their childhood" but for others it would just be torture to delay... and if you have one type of kid, it can be difficult to see that the other kind really is different, and that the other type of kids' parents aren't just misguided.

 

There's an excellent chance that DS will be facing early admission, or at least early starting-a-few-classes. There's no way for me to know right now... we're doing what is right for him right now, and whenever we get to the point where college looks good, we'll consider college. We're lucky that we're within commuting distance of a few good choices (both CC and 4-year, public and private)... but we're also lucky that we have some excellent mentoring resources at hand, who could fill the gap before actual admission if it doesn't look like a good idea at the time.

 

I do think there is a "too early" but that point is different for every kid and every program available. The amount of support for younger students (or for students in general), the independence and maturity of the child and his/her academic preparedness, the program of study that's being considered, and all the other available options that could be an alternative to full-time on-campus enrollment -- all of those change the balance. No one of them can really make the whole decision... but then that's true of older kids too. Being eighteen doesn't guarantee that you're really prepared academically, nor does it always indicate that you can live independently, or make it in an intense major.

[Aubrey]

I started college, living on campus right after my 16th bday. For me, it was the best choice I could have made. I ended up taking 7 yrs to get my BA, dabbling around in everything I'd ever been interested in that wasn't offered in hs, but that still put me finishing at a reasonable age. I enjoyed college because I enjoyed learning & because it was nice to be around people who were finally interested in similar things instead of...I don't know...football & 90210.

 

Does this mean that college at this age is right for everyone or was the *best* thing for me? Of course not. It would have been better if my parents had been able to make their marriage work, made enough $ for better schools, & ultimately I'd earned a scholarship to a better school. But given my circumstances, it was good.

 

W/ our dc, we'll treat ea situation individually, deciding what's best for them when the time comes. My goal is to give them a rich education between now & then, so that their options are wide open.

[StephanieZ]

I think starting at 16 1/2 through 17 would be fine for most mature, intelligent kid going to a college that values academics (not a state party school). Before 16 1/2 or so, I think it is a different thing b/c of the social/parental needs a younger teen still has that are very different from the adult responsibilities of being a typical college student.

 

I left for college a couple days before my 18th birthday and that didn't seem young to me. I knew plenty who were younger.

 

I have googled some about early entrance, looking into the couple dozen colleges that cater to early entrance with a specific program that offers more supervision/support than a straight regular college.

 

If I felt my child were really, truly ready academically and emotionally, I don't think I'd rule out early entrance. I would just be very diligent about checking it out. My main fears would be social (boys, drinking, drugs, violent crime) and whether the child had the judgment and skills to navigate that world.

 

We live in a college town (Morgantown, WV) and so it would seem natural to have my dd take college classes there for a couple years (15-17 or so) before heading off to a "regular" (more prestigious) 4 year college. . . but some days I wonder if it wouldn't be better to go ahead and go off to a great college at 16/17 instead of being heavily exposed to the yahoo party numbskulls with relatively low academic horizons at our local university (WVU -- WV's best but a raging party school) or the various other close-by colleges.

 

I think it is smart to check into what is close by to you. If there is some amazing university (especially one that caters to early entrance) within 1-2 hours drive, I'd likely do it if my child really truly wanted to and was ready. But, if it's further (the one I'd consider for my dd is more like 4-6 hours away and that seems far to me), I'd be so hesitant just b/c I adore my dc and don't want them away from me any sooner than they need to be.

 

If early entrance is at all a consideration by then, I plan to send my dd to a 2-3 week summer thing (Interlochen probably) around age 14 so she can have some experience being truly away from family for at least a few weeks before even seriously considering early entrance. That would tell her (and me) a lot about whether it's even a thing to think about.

 

This is another reason for the WIDE horizons (languages, music, lots of science and history, etc.) I set for my dc, so as to try to slow their progress on the core paths. . .

[Karenciavo]

I'm not against the idea in principle, but I am against sending my own. I see no reason for it.

[Laura Corin]

I'm not in the 'no-matter-what' category, but I would prefer they stay at home until at least seventeen. For many children, extra maturity is helpful in managing a college situation - not just the social side but the responsibility of managing classes and independent work.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

[Pamela H in Texas]

and if you have one type of kid, it can be difficult to see that the other kind really is different, and that the other type of kids' parents aren't just misguided.

 

 

I think this is true in most things. I'm so blessed sometimes that my kids are total opposites so that I CAN often see the other side. I know what it's like to have an 11yo ready for college and yet I know what it's like to have one that can barely read. I know what it's like to have one of the easiest children on the face of the earth, and yet I know what it's like to have one of the most challengin. I know what it's like to worry that kiddo is too big and I know what it's like to worry if one is eating enough. I know.....well, you get the point. In just about everything, my kids give me the opportunity to see both sides. But not everyone has that. ANd then there are those that still would make different choices.

[Ellie]

I don't think early college is a bad thing for every kid. But I don't think smart kids should feel like they're being rushed to adulthood, either. It just depends on the specific child and family, I think. I know SWB finished college very young and plans the opposite for her kids. I finished high school in three years and started college at 17, but ended up quitting and then going back later. I wasn't scarred for life, but the early start was not helpful in any way, either.

 

Taking classes at a community college doesn't necessarily make "smart" kids feel like they're being rushed into adulthood.

[Karenciavo]

Taking classes at a community college doesn't necessarily make "smart" kids feel like they're being rushed into adulthood.

 

For clarity on my position, I wasn't including CC as college. My boys may very well take a few CC classes while they are still in high school.

[Nan in Mass]

The coed part makes it more civilized, from what I saw, comparing coed with non-coed. The guys in your suite or floor watched out for the girls. It's like having lots of older brothers. Nobody bothers you that way.

[Danestress]

Having raised a child to 20, I see the vast difference in maturity between a 16 year old and a 19 year old. And I think college is better experienced when some of that maturity has kicked in.

 

I personally want to mentor my son through that age a little more directly. If my boy goes to college at 16, then I will have a lot less time with him. If my son went off to college, I wouldn't be there to offer counsel when he has his first girl friend, a huge fight with a friend, a professor whose expectations are confusing. There will be a million and one things that will occur that I won't get to be there for, and for my son, these were years when he really NEEDED his mother (and his father). He didn't want to need me, but he needed me.

 

I'm glad that this worked well for you, and I expect that many people have similar experiences of great experiences as especially young college students. I'm not really "against" it for others, but I just doubt I would choose it for my own family because I believe we could find ways to continue to provide necessary academic challenge.

 

And I guess this must have something to do with the permissiveness of college life, too. Because I have many friends and family members who went to boarding school in high school, and I can imagine choosing that under the right circumstances. I guess the difference for me is that boarding schools place a different, and more age appropriate, set of demands on a kid's life.

[Aubrey]

Having raised a child to 20, I see the vast difference in maturity between a 16 year old and a 19 year old. And I think college is better experienced when some of that maturity has kicked in.

 

I personally want to mentor my son through that age a little more directly. If my boy goes to college at 16, then I will have a lot less time with him. If my son went off to college, I wouldn't be there to offer counsel when he has his first girl friend, a huge fight with a friend, a professor whose expectations are confusing. There will be a million and one things that will occur that I won't get to be there for, and for my son, these were years when he really NEEDED his mother (and his father). He didn't want to need me, but he needed me.

 

I'm glad that this worked well for you, and I expect that many people have similar experiences of great experiences as especially young college students. I'm not really "against" it for others, but I just doubt I would choose it for my own family because I believe we could find ways to continue to provide necessary academic challenge.

 

And I guess this must have something to do with the permissiveness of college life, too. Because I have many friends and family members who went to boarding school in high school, and I can imagine choosing that under the right circumstances. I guess the difference for me is that boarding schools place a different, and more age appropriate, set of demands on a kid's life.

 

I definitely don't think it's for everybody, & I was super conservative, & I was never in a coed dorm (except once, but I'm not sure about that, as I did not see any boys).

 

Anyway, I was going to add that for me, the social aspect really helped. I met other serious, conservative, academically-minded people for the first time.

 

And 16 to 19? At 19, I was getting married. By 20, we were expecting our first baby. Now, I figure I'm a different kind of animal & this doesn't really apply to most, but I just wanted to throw it in there in case someone else happens to be/have a kid like me.

 

(As far as marriage goes, there are pros & cons, but looking back now on how stubborn dh & I are, it might have been a pretty good thing that we married as young as we did. We might never have been able to adapt to ea other otherwise! ;))

[Jugglin'5]

I guess the college itself must be a huge factor. I was thinking, "Send my child away to a large state university at 17," which is not going to happen. I can see where having different opportunities would change my mind. If going to a serious-minded, conservative college had been an option (I doubt my parents even knew of such a thing), I may have benefited from attending one at a younger age. A large university, though, forget it. Academically I would have been fine, but socially, it would have been disastrous. It was almost disastrous at 18, let alone 17. Besides, I want that last year with my child who will be gone all too soon.

[Aubrey]

I guess the college itself must be a huge factor. I was thinking' date=' "Send my child away to a large state university at 17," which is not going to happen. I can see where having different opportunities would change my mind. If going to a serious-minded, conservative college had been an option (I doubt my parents even knew of such a thing), I may have benefited from attending one at a younger age. A large university, though, forget it. Academically I would have been fine, but socially, it would have been disastrous. It was almost disastrous at 18, let alone 17. Besides, I want that last year with my child who will be gone all too soon.[/quote']

 

Ah. I spent my first yr at a tiny Christian fake college, the next yr at a jr college, then at a small women's college, & finally at a small Catholic school.

 

Honestly, though, there were groups I could have gotten involved w/ at any of these schools that would have tended toward the raucus side, but such things/ people annoy me. They always have.

 

A large state school that's famous for parties? I would have transferred most likely or found a niche. I made friends w/ profs & hung out in the library & writing lab. I imagine that would have been the same anywhere.

 

I did borrow an id once, to get into Dave & Barry's. I was 17, & you had to be 18 to get in. If you were 21, you could get your hand stamped to drink. W/ my id, I got my hand stamped. My 18yo friends were jealous, & they couldn't believe I wasn't interested in drinking.

 

Now, fwiw, that's the worst thing I ever did, & my mom helped me get ready. And the event was planned w/out realizing you had to be 18--I got a last minute call from my bf when he pulled up & saw the sign & the guys checking id's.

 

Otherwise, I was generally more conservative than my parents, even. And I don't mean my parents-at-my-age, I mean my full-grown parents. Fwiw.

[PiCO]

I went to college at 17. When people found out I was young, they were surprised. Everyone (at school and my relatives) thought I was "so mature for my age." On the surface I did fine.

 

But- I wish I had waited a year. A gap year would have been great. It's not like I'm permanently damaged, though. I'm sure going to college early is fine for some kids- especially if they really know what they want to study, but I just don't see the point. What's the rush?

 

Another reason I won't send my kids early is because they get social security on they are 18 yrs old *or* graduate from high school. Might as well get that extra 7 months!

[Jenny in Florida]

If my son went off to college, I wouldn't be there to offer counsel when he has his first girl friend, a huge fight with a friend, a professor whose expectations are confusing. There will be a million and one things that will occur that I won't get to be there for, and for my son, these were years when he really NEEDED his mother (and his father). He didn't want to need me, but he needed me.

 

 

Sure you could. We have our daughter on a family cell phone plan with unlimited minutes, and I have talked her through several crises this year.

 

There were definitely times when I would have preferred to be able to hug her at the same time, but she didn't stop being my daughter or having access to me when she needed me just because she was going to school a few hundred miles away.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

It was such a huge culture shock that I really didn't engage until I had dropped out for a few years and returned. It may have been more that my lecture halls would have seated my entire high school. But it wasn't a happy or productive time.

 

I'm a big fan of gap years now. Not that I'd be dogmatic about it for other people's kids.

[Danestress]

there is always the phone. I'm glad that has worked out well for you.

 

For myself, I would rather have my sons home during those years. I do think my oldest needed a little more supervision, a little more constant, loving presense of a parent in his immediate environment. Maybe not every child needs that, but I am erring on the side of assuming my kids still need that during those transitional years. But I am not saying that people who choose differently are making a mistake.

[Kay in Cal]

Most of my college classes were smaller than my high school classes... I did have a couple of intro requirements that had 200 students or so in the lecture, but for the most part I took seminar type classes that were under 30 students--many in the 10-12 student range.

 

I was so much more happy in college, socially speaking--it was like finding my tribe after a lifetime of wandering. Like Mrs. Mungo, I hung out with geeks, so partying wasn't too much of an issue. I think I did go to parties (and drank underage) for the first few weeks, and quickly discovered it wasn't my scene. I still think of college as a wonderful fun time, and I'm still in close contact with most of our friends from college.

 

My greatest regret is that I didn't follow my heart after freshman year and change my major to Ancient Near Eastern studies. I allowed my mom to talk me into keeping my more "practical" major (International Studies, National Security Issues focus). ANE would have been so much better prep for seminary, you know? But of course none of us knew at the time that I was headed for ministry (cc--except God, obviously). I'm going to encourage my kids to follow thier interests and thier hearts, regardless of what looks "practical" on paper.

[Brigitte]

The coed part makes it more civilized, from what I saw, comparing coed with non-coed. The guys in your suite or floor watched out for the girls. It's like having lots of older brothers. Nobody bothers you that way.

 

That is not what my nieces and nephews are experiencing. Lots and lots of s*x...room-mates bringing in boyfriends and having at it while the other room-mate is asleep in her own bed. Two are (were) at a private college and one at a major state university and one at a small state university. Not an atmosphere I would throw my 16 year old into. But that is my family's experience and I guess not others.

[Jugglin'5]

See, I should have followed my Dad's advice and gone to Rice, and then I could have been a geek to my heart's content. I had a scholarship at the State U, and my parents were having a hard time financially, so I went there instead. I never really knew many "intellectual kids". I'm sure they were there, I just never found them.

 

Aubrey, it's funny about you being more conservative than your parents. I wasn't necessarily in college, but afterwards, definitely. My brother and I both somehow ended up more conservative, and we both attend conservative churches and home school. My parents don't know what to make of us, though we all still have a good relationship. It is kind of the family joke.

 

My oldest daughter is a summer baby, so I delayed her official K year just in case, and I'm glad I did. She has always, with a few exceptions, gravitated to younger kids, but she is very social. I am glad she will be 19 when she goes to college. My second daughter, on the other hand, has always gravitated to older friends, is rather introverted, and has very, um, "geeky" interests. I could see her enjoying college earlier, IF it was the right college. State U, no way, she'd get eaten alive.

 

My son has "party animal" written all over him, so I'm not sure what to do with him:confused:

[Jugglin'5]

Yes, this is what I've been hearing from parents who have recently sent students to college. Maybe it is regional?

[Jami]

That is not what my nieces and nephews are experiencing. Lots and lots of s*x...room-mates bringing in boyfriends and having at it while the other room-mate is asleep in her own bed. Two are (were) at a private college and one at a major state university and one at a small state university. Not an atmosphere I would throw my 16 year old into. But that is my family's experience and I guess not others.

 

I thought I'd link an interesting article by Vigen Guroian under your post, Brigitte. He wrote Tending the Heart of Virtue and is a professor at Loyola. He gave a talk at a Circe Conference a couple of years ago on this topic, "Dorm Brothels", and I think he makes some good points. That doesn't mean early college is never a good idea, or that co-ed colleges are never a good idea...but I have to say I lean toward Dana's perspective on keeping my own with me a little longer (and am willing to live where there is a good quality 4-year college to aid in this) until they have the maturity to handle the adult world well enough to come out relatively scar-free.

 

Jami

 

Here's that article: http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles6/GuroianCollege.php

[Ahwahnee]

When I was in high school I took CC classes, they gave me the taste of what college was like and some challenge. Taking a year off would have been difficult since I majored in science. Not taking math and science for a year would have made coursework much more difficult.

 

Only you and your dc can determine if maturity will be an issue. Is college a race for the gold? Are you going to send your dc off to college, only to have them come back with a degree and keep them at home not working for years after college?:biggrinjester: Your dc's maturity and drive will should identify what is right.

 

I've always been amazed at the shows I've seen about wizkids. I saw one that followed up with their achievements after they left school. Very few were achieving what they were when they were kids. Most had pretty normal lives, but some ended resentful and burned out. That helped me realize life is a journey, not a race.

[Jenny in Florida]

Are you going to send your dc off to college, only to have them come back with a degree and keep them at home not working for years after college?:biggrinjester: Your dc's maturity and drive will should identify what is right.

 

I've always been amazed at the shows I've seen about wizkids. I saw one that followed up with their achievements after they left school. Very few were achieving what they were when they were kids. Most had pretty normal lives, but some ended resentful and burned out. That helped me realize life is a journey, not a race.

 

I totally agree that it is about the journey. One of things we've emphasized with our daughter is that, although college is the right placement for her right now, that doesn't mean her education will be "done" for good and forever once she has her first degree. The great gift she has been given as a result of starting this part of her journey so early is that she will have the luxury of plenty of time to figure out where she wants to go and to take a meandering path to get there.

 

Now, the truth is that my daughter is not a meandering sort of person. But she does have a long list of things she wants to do with her life, so getting a bit of a head start works well for her.

 

She is actually--despite our repeated recommendations that she slow down--taking enough credits each semester to earn her bachelor's degree in three years. It's not because she's in a hurry to graduate. In fact, she plans to stay for all four years, anyway. She just takes lots of courses because there are so many things that interest her.

 

As I understand it, the current plan is to finish the B.A. (taking four years), then go on to graduate school (probably a two-year program). After that, she may do a gap year, since most of her local friends will be graduating from high school and she hopes to convince at least one or two of them to go travelling with her.

 

By that time, she will be 18 and have a master's degree and be ready to go on to whatever she has decided to do.

[LizzyBee]

Taking classes at a community college doesn't necessarily make "smart" kids feel like they're being rushed into adulthood.

 

I agree. In fact, when we thought we were going to homeschool high school, we had every intention of sending dd to cc for some classes. When I wrote my post, I was thinking of kids going away for college, not cc. And just to clarify, I don't think every kid who goes away to college early feels rushed to adulthood, either, but I do think that's been the case in some families. As I said in my earlier post, I think the right decision depends on the kid and the family.

[Brigitte]

That is not what my nieces and nephews are experiencing. Lots and lots of s*x...room-mates bringing in boyfriends and having at it while the other room-mate is asleep in her own bed. Two are (were) at a private college and one at a major state university and one at a small state university. Not an atmosphere I would throw my 16 year old into. But that is my family's experience and I guess not others.

 

I guess I should also add that my nieces and nephews have not been home schooled and have had a rather "modern" upbringing. They were not sheltered in anyway before leaving for college.

[Brigitte]

I thought I'd link an interesting article by Vigen Guroian under your post, Brigitte. He wrote Tending the Heart of Virtue and is a professor at Loyola. He gave a talk at a Circe Conference a couple of years ago on this topic, "Dorm Brothels", and I think he makes some good points. That doesn't mean early college is never a good idea, or that co-ed colleges are never a good idea...but I have to say I lean toward Dana's perspective on keeping my own with me a little longer (and am willing to live where there is a good quality 4-year college to aid in this) until they have the maturity to handle the adult world well enough to come out relatively scar-free.

 

Jami

 

Here's that article: http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles6/GuroianCollege.php

 

Thanks, I will take a look at it.

[Brigitte]

Taking classes at a community college doesn't necessarily make "smart" kids feel like they're being rushed into adulthood.

 

If I am understanding the intent of the original post, it was about sending your younger (17 and under) child away to college, not about taking college level classes while still living at home. I could be wrong, since I often am! :D

[cat in black]

My 16 year old has a year of colege under his belt--30 credits with a 4.0 average. This is at our local community college. He is carrying a full load there next year. When he goes away to college, he will go in as an 18 year old junior and will have saved his parents lots of money. Two years away at college is a whole lot cheaper than four years!