MariannNOVA Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 (edited) Our grand daughters are spending the week with us. I have planned 2 fun/special things for us all to do every day while they are here. Today, I took all five kids to the $1. Wednesday movie -- Diary of a Wimpy Kid (actually pretty entertaining). Anyway, all six of us have to climb three flights of steps to get to the theatre level and m12, m10, e10 and a7 are way ahead of me and e5. E5 and I get to the level with the ticket booth and the 4 others are standing there in front of the window at the ticket booth -- I 'thought' they were in line. So I join them, and our turn is next. I ask for six tickets, and the man behind me in line says quite loudly, 'I guess some people don't have to stand in line.' (FWIW, there was not a long line -- one other mom with one child behind him - and he had passed me on the steps so it wasn't like he had arrived hours ahead of me). I was stunned - I had no idea I had cut in line - I thought m12 was standing in line. I stepped back and said (sincerely), 'I am SO sorry. I thought my daughter was in line. I was obviously mistaken. Please -- it's your turn.' I step out of line still holding E5's hand and direct my crew to the end of the line. I turn to them and say, 'C'mon -- I made a mistake. We need to go to the end of the line and wait our turn.' 'Forget it,' he says. 'No,' I say -- 'I try to teach my children good manners so what good does it do if I do the wrong thing here.' He gets annoyed - (can you believe it?) and says - 'Just get your tickets and forget it.' I insisted that I go to the end of the line, and he gets annoyed with me and says 'it's not a big deal.' I was silently fuming at that point. If it wasn't a big deal, then why open your mouth in the first place?! I am assuming that he wanted to start a fight with me, and I honestly was apologetic and horrified at myself for doing such a thing. I was so upset, I spent 10 minutes with tears streaming down my face -- b/c someone would actually be so freaking petty and mean - really.....WANTING to start a fight. what a big man. Edited August 17, 2011 by MariannNOVA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Oh Mariann :grouphug: I would have gotten teary, too. I'm guessing that guy acted that way because he realized his first comment was mean and unnecessary, he was embarrassed, then continued stumbling down the path of jerkishness. You did the right thing, and your young ones will remember that part best. You are a rare combination of grace and logic. Have fun with all the kids! I'll take a nap for you... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I'm sorry. I had something similar happen at the Y last week. There was a group of disabled people going through the check in line. Usually if there is a big group, one person at the desk checks all of them in and another person will check in all of us who are not in the group. So I went to the other desk person to be checked in. The person checking in the group made a huge stink about me wanting special treatment! So I (without saying anything) went and stood in line behind the group she was checking in. Then the other person asked those of us not in the group to come to the side to be checked in!:D I was so mad that I couldn't speak because I was afraid that I'd cry. (I cry when angry). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbkaren Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I think he figured that, like a lot of people, he could make that comment and you'd just make a snide remark back or ignore it. The fact that you were sincerely apologetic, made him feel like the mouse he should feel like, and he hated that. Good for you! Maybe next time he'll give someone the benefit of the doubt and say something more on the lines of "Excuse me, but I'm next in line." That would've been simple and the end of the discussion! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Awww. What a lousy thing to happen to someone so nice! I also cry when angry. :tongue_smilie: I wish I could just rant and rave like normal people. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 What a jerk. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Thank you. Oh Mariann :grouphug: I would have gotten teary, too. That makes me feel better. I'm guessing that guy acted that way because he realized his first comment was mean and unnecessary, he was embarrassed, then continued stumbling down the path of jerkishness. You did the right thing, and your young ones will remember that part best. You are a rare combination of grace and logic. Have fun with all the kids! I'll take a nap for you... :lol: THAT is funny -- M10 walks into the kitchen and I am working on curric lists and he says, 'WOW! I thought you'd be lying down.' I'm sorry. I had something similar happen at the Y last week. There was a group of disabled people going through the check in line. Usually if there is a big group, one person at the desk checks all of them in and another person will check in all of us who are not in the group. So I went to the other desk person to be checked in. The person checking in the group made a huge stink about me wanting special treatment! So I (without saying anything) went and stood in line behind the group she was checking in. Then the other person asked those of us not in the group to come to the side to be checked in!:D I was so mad that I couldn't speak because I was afraid that I'd cry. (I cry when angry). I guess I cry when I am angry too. And, yes, what you described is exactly the same type of thing. I think he figured that, like a lot of people, he could make that comment and you'd just make a snide remark back or ignore it. The fact that you were sincerely apologetic, made him feel like the mouse he should feel like, and he hated that. Good for you! Maybe next time he'll give someone the benefit of the doubt and say something more on the lines of "Excuse me, but I'm next in line." That would've been simple and the end of the discussion! Thank you -- and you know what -- had he been polite and appropriate, I would have paid $2. for his movie tickets -- that's how I am. Awww. What a lousy thing to happen to someone so nice! Thank you - so sweet. I also cry when angry. :tongue_smilie: I wish I could just rant and rave like normal people. :D In the past I would rant and rave -- but I've stopped doing that -- I think I was happier when I ranted and raved. What a jerk. :grouphug: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 :grouphug: I'm sorry, but think you did the right thing for your family. However, his manners were terrible from beginning to end. I award him the donkey-butt of day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 (edited) I think he figured that, like a lot of people, he could make that comment and you'd just make a snide remark back or ignore it. The fact that you were sincerely apologetic, made him feel like the mouse he should feel like, and he hated that. Good for you! Maybe next time he'll give someone the benefit of the doubt and say something more on the lines of "Excuse me, but I'm next in line." That would've been simple and the end of the discussion! :iagree: and you shouldn't feel stupid at all. Things like that make me cry out of anger, frustration, and/or embarrassment. I bet that guy is still feeling like el jerko about it, too. Edited August 17, 2011 by Mothersweets Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I would've cried.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Oh Mariann :grouphug: I would have gotten teary, too. I'm guessing that guy acted that way because he realized his first comment was mean and unnecessary, he was embarrassed, then continued stumbling down the path of jerkishness. You did the right thing, and your young ones will remember that part best. You are a rare combination of grace and logic. Have fun with all the kids! I'll take a nap for you... :lol: :iagree::iagree: :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebookie Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I am soo sorry =( <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 You did the right thing. He was being a bully and whether you intended to or not you called him on it. Instead of just ignoring him (as he deserved to be) you took his complaint seriously and were obviously distressed. I hope he felt bad about his behaviour. I hope he remembers this next time he decides to be a bully and throw judgemental comments around. You may have done a great service to the next people who have to encounter this man. Perhaps he will consider this late and grow up. good for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 :grouphug: I'm sorry, but think you did the right thing for your family. However, his manners were terrible from beginning to end. I award him the donkey-butt of day. :iagree: and you shouldn't feel stupid at all. Things like that make me cry out of anger, frustration, and/or embarrassment. I bet that guy is still feeling like el jerko about it, too. :grouphug: I would've cried.... :iagree::iagree: :grouphug: I am soo sorry =( <3 You did the right thing. He was being a bully and whether you intended to or not you called him on it. Instead of just ignoring him (as he deserved to be) you took his complaint seriously and were obviously distressed. I hope he felt bad about his behaviour. I hope he remembers this next time he decides to be a bully and throw judgemental comments around. You may have done a great service to the next people who have to encounter this man. Perhaps he will consider this late and grow up. good for you. Thank you all......:grouphug: And, yes, Denise in Florida -- I used the word 'bully' to describe the incident to someone else. -- I did feel as if he was bullying or trying to goad me to engage in a nasty exchange of words -- WHY anyone would want to do that in front of their own children (he had a young lady who assume was his daughter with whom) or someone else's is beyond me.:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 He was absolutely being a jerk. And a passive-aggressive jerk at that. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reign Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I think he figured that, like a lot of people, he could make that comment and you'd just make a snide remark back or ignore it. The fact that you were sincerely apologetic, made him feel like the mouse he should feel like, and he hated that. Good for you! Maybe next time he'll give someone the benefit of the doubt and say something more on the lines of "Excuse me, but I'm next in line." That would've been simple and the end of the discussion! :iagree: Im sorry he treated you like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker25 Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Oh Mariann :grouphug: I would have gotten teary, too. I'm guessing that guy acted that way because he realized his first comment was mean and unnecessary, he was embarrassed, then continued stumbling down the path of jerkishness. You did the right thing, and your young ones will remember that part best. You are a rare combination of grace and logic. Have fun with all the kids! I'll take a nap for you... :lol: The bold part was my first thought as well. He knew he'd screwed up and then he could not recover. I'm sorry! I would have cried too! I cry anytime I think someone is mad at me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I had something similar happen to me at Panera bread recently. I know we did not cut the line (there was none) this guy comes up to me and my kids and is looking to start a fight. It was a perfect time for me to instruct my daughter on the kind of boy/man you do not date, associate with, etc. I think chivalry is dead and buried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 He was absolutely being a jerk. And a passive-aggressive jerk at that. :grouphug: :iagree: Im sorry he treated you like that. The bold part was my first thought as well. He knew he'd screwed up and then he could not recover. I'm sorry! I would have cried too! I cry anytime I think someone is mad at me. I had something similar happen to me at Panera bread recently. I know we did not cut the line (there was none) this guy comes up to me and my kids and is looking to start a fight. It was a perfect time for me to instruct my daughter on the kind of boy/man you do not date, associate with, etc. I think chivalry is dead and buried. Thank you all -- I feel so much less foolish for crying since so many of you said you would have done the same. Thanks.:grouphug: And: gingersmom: Not only do I think that chivalry is dead for the most part, I was talking to a friend this afternoon at the pool and we both wondered if nowadays folks even 'know' how to graciously and appropriately accept a sincere apology and just let something go.:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Hey maybe he was a shore local having just gotten away.:001_smile: I can tell you, we're all getting pretty frayed around here after a few weeks of difficult behavior by our "guests." Anyway, :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 If it wasn't a big deal, then why open your mouth in the first place?! Sounds like he realized that he said something really stupid and was probably having a bad day to start with. Whatever it was, it surely had nothing to do with you, at any point. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I probably wouldn't have cried but I might have considering punching him in the face. Maybe someday you can bail be out of jail when you stop crying??? :001_smile::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 Hey maybe he was a shore local having just gotten away.:001_smile: I can tell you, we're all getting pretty frayed around here after a few weeks of difficult behavior by our "guests." Anyway, :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. OMH!!!! :lol: DH and I owned a home in Ocean City, NJ and we lived there year round for about 4 years right after we were married. We counted the minutes till the summer people would leave. I had a bumper sticker that read: Some Of Us Are NOT On Vacation :glare: I worked part time in the CVS at the 34st bridge in OC -- it was amazing to watch the moods of vacationers change as the week progressed. On Saturday and Sunday folks were buying everything that wasn't nailed down: candy, condoms, cigarettes, sun block, decks of cards, poker chips -- you name it -- they bought it. And they were fairly happy. On Thursday night the most amazing transformation would come over them. The store was open till midnight back then and they would come in from dinner at like 10pm and roam the aisles looking for just anything to buy. We would literally be at the registers till 12:30am b/c we weren't permitted to tell them the store closed at midnight and make them hurry. They were surly and disappointed bby Thursday. Don't even ask me about Fridays.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 OMH!!!! :lol: DH and I owned a home in Ocean City, NJ and we lived there year round for about 4 years right after we were married. We counted the minutes till the summer people would leave. I had a bumper sticker that read: Some Of Us Are NOT On Vacation Sounds dreadful! How long does tourist season last? My MIL lives in a resort town, and I was truly astonished the first time I visited her in summertime. The usually empty main road was thick with people wandering cluelessly, dripping ice cream on one another and blocking the sidewalks with enormous strollers. Makes me happy nobody wants to visit my town (perfectly nice little place, but not exactly a vacation destination). OP, I'm sorry that guy was such a turd to you. Sounds like he was in a snit and wanted to keep rubbing his mad spot. You just got the brunt of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 18, 2011 Author Share Posted August 18, 2011 Sounds dreadful! How long does tourist season last? My MIL lives in a resort town, and I was truly astonished the first time I visited her in summertime. The usually empty main road was thick with people wandering cluelessly, dripping ice cream on one another and blocking the sidewalks with enormous strollers. Makes me happy nobody wants to visit my town (perfectly nice little place, but not exactly a vacation destination). OP, I'm sorry that guy was such a turd to you. Sounds like he was in a snit and wanted to keep rubbing his mad spot. You just got the brunt of it. Memorial Day till Labor Day -- the change as far as traffic was amazing. One of our daughters worked 4 miles from our house -- 5 minute drive in the off-season. 45 min - 60 min in season -- we hated summer. Thanks for your kind words - yeah, the guy was a turd for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 I had a guy call me a "VIP a$$*&(^" after I shrugged at him when he stopped dead in the intersection where he had the right away. (Therefore, blocking my ability to turn left). He was driving a Mercedes. I told him he should have bought a cheaper car so that he could have afforded driving lessons. I guess I'm not much better than the man you encountered today. :blushing: I have a theory that the August people wait too long to go on vacation. By the time they get here, they are overdue for a break, and don't seem to know how to unwind and get in relaxed mode. And, for us, we've been overrun for almost 12 weeks now, and yeah, so we're not at our best either. Bad combination. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 18, 2011 Author Share Posted August 18, 2011 I had a guy call me a "VIP a$$*&(^" after I shrugged at him when he stopped dead in the intersection where he had the right away. (Therefore, blocking my ability to turn left). He was driving a Mercedes. I told him he should have bought a cheaper car so that he could have afforded driving lessons. I guess I'm not much better than the man you encountered today. :blushing: I have a theory that the August people wait too long to go on vacation. By the time they get here, they are overdue for a break, and don't seem to know how to unwind and get in relaxed mode. And, for us, we've been overrun for almost 12 weeks now, and yeah, so we're not at our best either. Bad combination. Well, I think that the fact that you've been putting up with these folks for 12 weeks excuses you. :grouphug: Interesting theory about the August people - you know, they have the start of school looming so your theory makes sense. We go to OBX after Labor Day and there are only a handful of folks there and it is wonderful - we met Danybug from this baord and her wonderful family two years ago when they went there for the first time. Definitely a perk of homeschooling.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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