If the Wolves Were At Your Door....

[Tarreymere]

I know some posters have been concerned about the cost of daycare eating up whatever financial contribution they might be able to make by working, but I wanted to add that however much your littles need you your older child and teenager will need you just as much.

 

It is possible to make money at home, if it comes to that. We have done daycare in the past, delivered newspapers, done part time personal care. DH has been a family living provider for a mentally disabled person and we would do that again as well as respite care. My SN son is now a full time care provider for a disabled man. The cost of living is pretty low around here and our expenses are not what they would be if we lived in a city or more upscale area, so for us it would not be the issue it may be for people who are currently in a more expensive area. So no, we strongly believe in one parent being at home and since the kids tend to make DH crazy faster it seems that it must be me.

[Momma2Many66]

In a heartbeat. In the heirarchy of needs, fed and housed are above educational choices, unless the school was truly physically dangerous. My dh would work another job before we came to that point (he has worked three jobs before, and he would do it again.) Or I would work evenings and weekends, opposite of dh, which we did when dc were little. But if none of that was enough, they would go to school and I would go to work all day, too.

 

 

 

:iagree:

[Tap]

I have always worked. Sometimes part time, sometimes full time and homeschooled the kids. I don't see it as an either or situation unless you are doing several grades. It wasn't easy and I didn't have a lot of free time, but we made it work. We got creative. One year, I homeschooled dd12 from 9-midnight. I would get home from work at 8pm, eat and then do the lessons with my daughter until midnight. She did her independent work from midnight to 3 am and slept in until noon-2pm the next day. She played with her friends after they got home from school.

 

Another year we started classes very, very early because I had to be to work at 9am. We made it work!

 

Even for families who have several ages/grades, there are many curricula which would allow for mutiple ages to be taught together. There are solutions out there, if someone really wanted to make that work too.

 

I know there are families here who may not be able to make it work for various reasons, but I think there are many here who could do it with just a bit of thinking outside the box.

 

I don't make that much money ($17.35 hr) but it has always be profitable for me to work, even with work clothes, lunches out, gasoline and all the expences that go along with it.

 

When the older kids were younger I worked 2-8pm several days a week and Saturdays. The kids were only in daycare half of the hours I worked. Sure, those hours weren't very profitable, but the others made it worth while. It was a package deal and in the long run, it worked out better than I would have thought.

 

My husband was working 60+ hours a week, we just tried hard to make sure one of us was home with them, if at all possible.

[happypamama]

Do you worry about how you'd provide for your family should something (god forbid) happen to your husband?

 

astrid

 

If something happened to my husband, I'd sell what I could (including the house, if possible), take the children (and necessities/heirlooms), and move in with my parents. There's no question that they would take us in; in fact, they'd expect it. (And my ILs live ten minutes from my parents, so I'd have plenty of help/support -- except for not having DH, I'd actually have more help than I have now, since they're all several hours away.) I would probably be able to stay home full-time for at least a while, which would get my littlest two out of the baby stage, but I'm pretty sure my parents would work with us while I worked or went back to school, and I also think they'd be willing to help with homeschooling -- they don't really want me to have to put my children in public school either. I do have a college degree (and a real estate sales license -- not that that would be very useful right now, LOL), but I think I'd be inclined to go to nursing school if I was going back, or something else in the medical field.

[Momma2Many66]

Sure, if push came to shove and we couldn't make it "bare bones" ala Dave Ramsey on one income any longer, then I would go back to work.

 

I only have a high school diploma, never graduated from college, I worked lots of crappy factory jobs and even worked in a slaughter house for awhile.

 

No job is " too below me" to do to feed my family.

 

I can flip burgers as well as the next guy and if need comes, I would be doing it proudly :001_smile:

[justamouse]

Do you worry about how you'd provide for your family should something (god forbid) happen to your husband?

 

astrid

 

Not in the least.

 

He actually has to worry about filling my shoes more. And I told him if I croak and he puts the kids back in school I will haunt the ever lovin' carp out of him. That's the LAST thing they need if something like that happened.

[Momma2Many66]

Not me. Between the monthly amount from social security and his life insurance we would be fine. It would be more than we net now.;) The HUGE problem would be if something happened to me - my social security amount is way less than his and I don't have near as much life insurance.

 

 

 

I think about this quite often, since I have no "real skills" and only a high school diploma. I worked many a factory job and I also cleaned houses and worked in daycares and other jobs that did not require expertise in the field.

 

But I am a planner and I plan for all situations.

 

So If something happened to my husband between social security and his very good life insurance policy and our emergency fund, I would be okay monetary wise to raise the children to adulthood. That is, if we were very careful and stuck to our Dave Ramsey debt free except the mortgage plan.

 

If something were to happen to me, my contingency plan is my oldest married daughter age 23 who has a child of her own now. She lives just 3 blocks away from us, in the same school district and she would homeschool my children while my husband worked. As I would do for her children if she ever needed the help.

 

Homeschoolilng is important to our family, If we can continue do so even while living very simply we would do it.

 

But if it ever came to keeping a roof over our heads or food in my children's bellies and there was no alternative, then yes, I'd be back at work in a heartbeat.

[swellmomma]

Do you worry about how you'd provide for your family should something (god forbid) happen to your husband?

 

astrid

 

This question wasn't directed at me but I felt the need to respond. I think that anyone here would be able to provide for their family if something happened to their spouse, even if they felt they would not put their kids in ps. I have been on my own for 10 years now. The only real skill I have is childcare. After I left my husband I did have my kids in ps/daycare while I did some college and worked. The plan was always how to bring them home again and homeschool. With that goal in mind I took early childhood development so that I could get better money while still working in childcare.

 

I don't think anyone here would allow their family to fall apart or be homeless etc for the sake of homeschooling. Rather they would find other ways to help their family without giving up on homeschooling altogether. It is a matter of desire and sheer will to make it work but from what I have seen on this board I don't think that will ever be an issue for any of the parents here.

 

My motto for these last 10 years has been "Where there's a will there's a way" It may not be easy, I may always live on that cusp and not get ahead until the kids are grown, but I know I don't have to make supporting my family and homeschooling them an either/or situation. The ladies on this board are quite resourceful, I bet any of them could make it work too with enough determination.

[Joanne]

In my first marriage, I managed to find work that allowed homeschooling to continue. It was not easy, or ideal, but it worked. I owned a daycare and, later, I worked for the YMCA @ local elementary schools as the Site Director for the before and after school care.

 

That, too, was hard on the marriage. But, ultimately, less hard (IMO) than not contributing directly towards income.

 

:iagree: For most people, another job will NOT help. Learning about finances, how to cull them in, get out of debt, live beneath your means is much more practical and realistic. At least according to the experts in the books I am reading ;)

 

One can find many experts. ;) I have 3 closely spaced kids;there were absolutely years that working outside the home might not have been profitable. But I disagree with your generalization and assumptions.

 

My current situation is rather unique, of course, and not pertinent. However, since moving out of the traditional at-home homeschooling mom role, I have come to embrace work (and education) for its own sake and merit and also for MY own development.

[YLVD]

Hopefully I won't be run off the boards but my dd would be attending public school now if she didn't have the medical and LD issues. In fact, I've considered having her attend in my district part time for more help with the LD stuff. But, she can't really manage full time.

 

I'm an accidental homeschooler. My DD attended a dream elementary school and middle school both. We are in one of the best districts imaginable. But, it just wasn't a fit for her. I never intended on homeschooling nor had a huge drive to do it, tbh.

 

When I started homeschooling, I worked full time and was a single parent. We made it work. She was already in 8th grade though.

[Renee in NC]

Hopefully I won't be run off the boards but my dd would be attending public school now if she didn't have the medical and LD issues. In fact, I've considered having her attend in my district part time for more help with the LD stuff. But, she can't really manage full time.

 

I'm an accidental homeschooler. My DD attended a dream elementary school and middle school both. We are in one of the best districts imaginable. But, it just wasn't a fit for her. I never intended on homeschooling nor had a huge drive to do it, tbh.

 

When I started homeschooling, I worked full time and was a single parent. We made it work. She was already in 8th grade though.

 

I won't run you off of the boards.:D Mine did go to ps for awhile and if we hadn't moved would probably still be there. I have several with LDs that are not served well by ps and another who is most likely gifted (and wouldn't be served well either! I'm glad we moved, though, as I really do like having them home and they are better for it.

 

For us, though, homeschooling is more than academics. Our dc are happier/better at home.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I would work the night shift if I had too but I wouldn't give up homeschooling.

It would cost more in the long run in many ways.

[Ginevra]

Yes, I have done just that when I felt it was needed. I have always worked at least part time or seasonal because I have a deep rooted fear of being trapped in poverty and/or unhealthy relationship. In fact, I have worked when it did NOT make sense financially just because I felt the drive to stay current and employable.

 

I feel the same. I grew up poor and it stinks. I have not personally worked when it didn't make financial sense, but I was thinking in the same vein before I read your remark. Sometimes it makes sense just to be in the job market; it's harder to get a job when you haven't worked in 15 years. I've also known people who are working almost solely for the health insurance and I would be willing to do this, too, if it were necessary.

 

This is how I feel. I"m not sure I could sit by while my food supply dwindles, we lose our home (or apartment, whatever the case may be) utilities and other necessities. I don't think I could watch my dh work so hard without feeling compelled to contribute to the family income.

 

astrid

:iagree: My dh is self-employed and you know what that means: we are the last employee to be paid and we are the first "expense" cut if the business is struggling. In 2008, we only took pay approximately half the year, dribbled out. Months or weeks went by with no income at different points. Thankfully, we had prepared for that possibility for our entire marriage. It wasn't desperate, but I did ask dh if he would like me to get holiday work that winter to help. He said, "No, not at this point. If it gets worse, I will take side work in the evenings and weekends until we get through it." :001_wub: (I love that man!) But the point is, we were both watching down the road at the train coming. Either of us or both of us would do whatever we possibly could to not sink into poverty, even if that meant I had to let go of some of my ideals, such as homeschooling.

[lionfamily1999]

We would, if it meant the difference between our children eating or going hungry. IOW, even if I couldn't find work to help offset costs, we would enroll the kids if only to be assured they would get two meals a day.

 

If moving was an option, we'd move.

 

If working at night was an option, I would do so.

 

If, however, we could not afford food, then the kids would go to school. Free meals. I can't feed their brains if their bellies are empty anyway.

[Wabi Sabi]

First, a disclaimer that I've only read the first 30 responses to this post.

 

Yes, I would go back to work. I would avoid putting the children into public school or daycare for a variety of reasons, but I do feel it is my responsibility to work if our household budget isn't being met.

 

With that in mind, I do work full-time. I work evenings/nights/weekends so that I can be home during the day while my dh is at work. Dh and I pretty much split all household duties right down the middle. Does the house suffer a little? Sure, but that's just the way it is. The kids and their needs come first, the house comes last on the list of priorities. I wouldn't feel right not making a financial contribution based upon concerns about my household not being run as smoothly as I'd like.

 

I also have personal moral objections to my dh working additional jobs just for me to stay home. My kids need BOTH parents, IMO. It would devastate me if dh had to work such long hours that the kids never saw him. I'd rather us both work a reasonable number of hours so that our kids have a good amount of time with both of their parents.

 

I also think that *most* people can work if they really want, even if you've been out of the job market for years, have few marketable skills, etc. It might take creativity and being flexible: be willing to work shifts that don't require you to need childcare, start watching a couple of kids from your own home. Get a paper route. There are entry level jobs at retail stores for people without much experience. Fill out an application at Starbucks, Target, WalMart or the grocery store. Wait tables a few nights a week, plenty of restaurants will hire you without experience. With a few exceptions, most stay-at-home parents should be able to find *something*. The pay may not be great, but at least it's something (trust me, my full-time job is pretty bottom of the hourly payscale, but at least it gives us health insurance and some income.)

[FO4UR]

Hypothetically...

 

What if you had a child with special needs that would not be met at ps? or met poorly?

 

What if your spouse was not able to help care for the children (various reasons could be inserted here) ?

 

What if you had zero support from others? No one to watch your dc for an hour after school while you are still at work, for ex.

 

What if your school district was horrible?

 

 

My point = I think it's too easy to say what we would or would not do when we are not pressed with the issue in our actual life...or when we isolate one problem. Compound a few problems together, and think through the consequences for *your* dc...and does your mind change?

 

 

As wretched as poverty is, I think there are worse things.

[swellmomma]

Hypothetically...

 

What if you had a child with special needs that would not be met at ps? or met poorly?

 

What if your spouse was not able to help care for the children (various reasons could be inserted here) ?

 

What if you had zero support from others? No one to watch your dc for an hour after school while you are still at work, for ex.

 

What if your school district was horrible?

 

 

My point = I think it's too easy to say what we would or would not do when we are not pressed with the issue in our actual life...or when we isolate one problem. Compound a few problems together, and think through the consequences for *your* dc...and does your mind change?

 

 

As wretched as poverty is, I think there are worse things.

 

:iagree: I am facing all of the above with my kids.

[lionfamily1999]

Hypothetically...

 

What if you had a child with special needs that would not be met at ps? or met poorly?

 

What if your spouse was not able to help care for the children (various reasons could be inserted here) ?

 

What if you had zero support from others? No one to watch your dc for an hour after school while you are still at work, for ex.

 

What if your school district was horrible?

 

 

My point = I think it's too easy to say what we would or would not do when we are not pressed with the issue in our actual life...or when we isolate one problem. Compound a few problems together, and think through the consequences for *your* dc...and does your mind change?

 

 

As wretched as poverty is, I think there are worse things.

This is why my answer hinged on whether or not I could feed my children. I would put them in school for food, even if I couldn't find work. Our school district is mediocre, if there were sn they would not find much help there. However, if I can't feed the kids then that advantage, free lunch/breakfast, would put ps far ahead what I could offer at home. I guess I'd rather have them fed and afterschooling, than hungry and attempting to hs.

[ezrabean2005]

Wabi Sabi said:

 

I also have personal moral objections to my dh working additional jobs just for me to stay home. My kids need BOTH parents, IMO. It would devastate me if dh had to work such long hours that the kids never saw him. I'd rather us both work a reasonable number of hours so that our kids have a good amount of time with both of their parents.

 

:iagree:

 

A mother is not any more important than a father.

[swimmermom3]

I would do whatever it takes to keep us together body and soul. I learned a long time ago to never say "never" because it has the potential to bite you back and the potential to make those facing the wolves feel even worse than they already do. These decisions are highly personal and each person making them faces a vast array of variables. Perhaps brainstorming or sharing what you have done in tough circumstances would be far more helpful. While I understand the original post, sometimes these threads can also take on a judgmental tone.

 

Or perhaps I should make a pot of coffee and finish reading the thread?:tongue_smilie:

[NicAnn]

Do you worry about how you'd provide for your family should something (god forbid) happen to your husband?

 

astrid

 

 

Well, yes and no. ;) We live on very little income (most people's mortgage payments), so I wouldn't need to make a lot of money. That gives me comfort, knowing we live well on so little. I've made it practically a part time job keeping a frugal house and I think that would serve me really well in that situation.

[Jean in Newcastle]

These decisions are highly personal and each person making them faces a vast array of variables.

 

True.

[cathmom]

We have a large life insurance policy on my husband, but only a small one on me. I have tried to up my insurance to his level, but have been denied because my personal income wasn't high enough. (Obviously, I stay home full time!!) Has anyone bought a large life insurance policy (I'm talking a million dollar policy) while staying home full-time?

 

I ran into the same thing 8 years ago. My preferred company (USAA) would not give me a policy above $350K because I was a SAHM. I told them, "It's because I'm a SAHM that I need a larger policy!!!!!" I called around and found a company that would give me a $600K policy (all I could afford). However, we have had 3 more dc since that time, and I don't consider that amount large enough.

 

I have never really worked, so my SS would be practically nil should I die for dh and the kids. I do work PT now, and one professional association I joined was offering a $30K policy, so I took that as well.

 

 

One can find many experts. ;) I have 3 closely spaced kids;there were absolutely years that working outside the home might not have been profitable. But I disagree with your generalization and assumptions.

 

However, since moving out of the traditional at-home homeschooling mom role, I have come to embrace work (and education) for its own sake and merit and also for MY own development.

 

I agree with this. I became a much happier, more fulfilled person when I began developing a career 4 years ago. In addition, I've brought in income that has helped our family and give us more options and opportunities. Dh had to spend more time with the dc and become a more active parent. We both developed a greater understanding of each other's roles. A win-win-win all around!

[Jen in PA]

Well, we survived 22 months of DH being unemployed, and unemployment really didn't come to a ton more than a minimum wage job would have. And while it wasn't fun, we survived and I really can't complain about our quality of living during that period..... So if we were in that sort of situation long-term, I don't see how it would be better for me to be the one heading out to work rather than DH just taking whatever he could get.

[Lady Florida.]

 

I also have personal moral objections to my dh working additional jobs just for me to stay home. My kids need BOTH parents, IMO. It would devastate me if dh had to work such long hours that the kids never saw him. I'd rather us both work a reasonable number of hours so that our kids have a good amount of time with both of their parents.

 

 

 

:iagree: For me the question is whether I would put ds in public school in order to go to work. Because of our local system, I'd do everything I could to creatively homeschool rather than put him in ps. However, I wouldn't think twice about going to work if it was necessary to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. I can't think of any good reason to have a dh who works himself to death just so I can stay home.

[ereks mom]

Do you worry about how you'd provide for your family should something (god forbid) happen to your husband?

 

astrid

 

I don't, because 1) dh has a decent life insurance policy, 2) I have a marketable skill (teaching--I am a teacher-turned-homeschooler with a master's degree in education), and 3) my dc are older now (16yo at home & 21yo in college). But if any of those things weren't in place, I'd probably be really worried.

 

When our financial situation was so, SO terrible a few years ago, we somehow found a way to make it work without my having to go back to teaching in the public school. It was pretty tempting, though. If things had gotten any worse, I think I would've done it.

[Ginevra]

Hypothetically...

 

What if you had a child with special needs that would not be met at ps? or met poorly?

 

What if your spouse was not able to help care for the children (various reasons could be inserted here) ?

 

What if you had zero support from others? No one to watch your dc for an hour after school while you are still at work, for ex.

 

What if your school district was horrible?

 

 

My point = I think it's too easy to say what we would or would not do when we are not pressed with the issue in our actual life...or when we isolate one problem. Compound a few problems together, and think through the consequences for *your* dc...and does your mind change?

 

 

As wretched as poverty is, I think there are worse things.

 

Of course, but each person is answering according to their individual variables, so...I guess I'm a little confused by your hypotheticals. My answers apply to me; I don't assume it's the answer for everyone else on this board or IRL. My school system is not too bad, for example, but I know there are some that are terrible. I don't have a special needs child, but I also don't automatically assume that if I did, that would mean surely no one could ever care for the child but myself.

 

Maybe this will seem morbid, but throughout my marriage, I've always had a couple of contingency plans for what I think I would do if (God forbid it) dh died or was permanently disabled. His work is quite physical and if he couldn't do it, we would have to change things. I don't think they would all be jolly pleasant changes I'm thrilled to make, but if we had a catastrophe, then we would have to deal with the changes.

 

I think the schooling question is like this also. I do have some "Plan B" thoughts in the back of my mind if we were (for any which reason) not realistically able to continue homeschooling. I don't think I would *like* to make those changes, but my over-arching approach would be to DO something, not think of 20 reasons why I can't put them in school or can't get a job or can't have dh school them, etc.

 

I agree there are worse things than poverty, but IMO, going to PS is not one of them. ;) Poverty also has more than it's fair share of negative consequences on children. It is not good for children to grow up constantly hearing "We have NO money," "We can't afford that." I know because I heard it throughout my childhood. It is not good for children to be ridiculed for their poor clothes that are rotated Monday - grey pants Tuesday - blue pants Wednesday - grey pants Thursday - blue pants. It is not good when siblings fight over food because there is not enough for everyone to feel unthreatened. It is not good for a child to fear telling Mom that they think something's wrong with their bladder because it burns when they pee, knowing that Mom will sigh about going to the doctor and buying medicine. These things are not good, I am certain. Those are all the things I would relentlessly avoid through any means within the law, even if it meant giving up homeschooling, moving somewhere I didn't want to move, working weird, unpleasant hours or anything else. So :rant: Sorry. I got carried away.

[FO4UR]

This is why my answer hinged on whether or not I could feed my children. I would put them in school for food, even if I couldn't find work. Our school district is mediocre, if there were sn they would not find much help there. However, if I can't feed the kids then that advantage, free lunch/breakfast, would put ps far ahead what I could offer at home. I guess I'd rather have them fed and afterschooling, than hungry and attempting to hs.

 

Would you put them in school before seeking gov't food assistance?

 

 

 

 

I would do whatever it takes to keep us together body and soul. I learned a long time ago to never say "never" because it has the potential to bite you back and the potential to make those facing the wolves feel even worse than they already do. These decisions are highly personal and each person making them faces a vast array of variables. Perhaps brainstorming or sharing what you have done in tough circumstances would be far more helpful. While I understand the original post, sometimes these threads can also take on a judgmental tone.

 

Or perhaps I should make a pot of coffee and finish reading the thread?:tongue_smilie:

 

I'll take a cup of that coffee.:001_smile: I completely agree with this.

 

Well, yes and no. ;) We live on very little income (most people's mortgage payments), so I wouldn't need to make a lot of money. That gives me comfort, knowing we live well on so little. I've made it practically a part time job keeping a frugal house and I think that would serve me really well in that situation.

 

We live on little too. Reality is that it IS a part time job to keep a frugal household, and time spent working out of the home takes energy away from making 3 meals out of 1 chicken. kwim.

 

 

Of course, but each person is answering according to their individual variables, so...I guess I'm a little confused by your hypotheticals. My answers apply to me; I don't assume it's the answer for everyone else on this board or IRL. My school system is not too bad, for example, but I know there are some that are terrible. I don't have a special needs child, but I also don't automatically assume that if I did, that would mean surely no one could ever care for the child but myself.

 

Maybe this will seem morbid, but throughout my marriage, I've always had a couple of contingency plans for what I think I would do if (God forbid it) dh died or was permanently disabled. His work is quite physical and if he couldn't do it, we would have to change things. I don't think they would all be jolly pleasant changes I'm thrilled to make, but if we had a catastrophe, then we would have to deal with the changes.

 

I think the schooling question is like this also. I do have some "Plan B" thoughts in the back of my mind if we were (for any which reason) not realistically able to continue homeschooling. I don't think I would *like* to make those changes, but my over-arching approach would be to DO something, not think of 20 reasons why I can't put them in school or can't get a job or can't have dh school them, etc.

 

I agree there are worse things than poverty, but IMO, going to PS is not one of them. ;) Poverty also has more than it's fair share of negative consequences on children. It is not good for children to grow up constantly hearing "We have NO money," "We can't afford that." I know because I heard it throughout my childhood. It is not good for children to be ridiculed for their poor clothes that are rotated Monday - grey pants Tuesday - blue pants Wednesday - grey pants Thursday - blue pants. It is not good when siblings fight over food because there is not enough for everyone to feel unthreatened. It is not good for a child to fear telling Mom that they think something's wrong with their bladder because it burns when they pee, knowing that Mom will sigh about going to the doctor and buying medicine. These things are not good, I am certain. Those are all the things I would relentlessly avoid through any means within the law, even if it meant giving up homeschooling, moving somewhere I didn't want to move, working weird, unpleasant hours or anything else. So :rant: Sorry. I got carried away.

 

 

:grouphug: I hear your tone...rant away.

 

I think it's one thing for a person to look for excuses not to work, and another to weigh the long-term consequences of difficult choices.

 

I am bringing my own experiences as a well-fed latch-key kid to the table. Yes, there was money. No, I was not parented. I was on my own (literally) from 6am to bedtime most days. This is also detrimental, and I would be grieved to put my dc in that situation.

 

It doesn't have to be all or nothing...and ps isn't the worst thing...but it won't necessarily keep the wolves at bay either. I'm looking through my Plans C, D, E, and F...trying to find the one that has the fewest wolves to fend off while dh fights to get back to Plan A.

[Jen in PA]

We live on little too. Reality is that it IS a part time job to keep a frugal household, and time spent working out of the home takes energy away from making 3 meals out of 1 chicken.

 

 

:iagree: If we totally reversed roles and kept the take-home pay the same, we would still have a lot less money than we do in our current situation. No way could DH keep costs down the way that I do. This is not a criticism of him, I just have many more years of experience shopping and cooking on a tight budget. I can salvage clothes he would just toss and replace.

[Ginevra]

 

:grouphug: I hear your tone...rant away.

 

I think it's one thing for a person to look for excuses not to work, and another to weigh the long-term consequences of difficult choices.

 

I am bringing my own experiences as a well-fed latch-key kid to the table. Yes, there was money. No, I was not parented. I was on my own (literally) from 6am to bedtime most days. This is also detrimental, and I would be grieved to put my dc in that situation.

 

It doesn't have to be all or nothing...and ps isn't the worst thing...but it won't necessarily keep the wolves at bay either. I'm looking through my Plans C, D, E, and F...trying to find the one that has the fewest wolves to fend off while dh fights to get back to Plan A.

 

For sure, being a latchkey kid continuously was not good for you, either. Thanks for being gracious. I got a little wired up.

 

Sometimes, you do have to look at Plans C, D, E and F...or Z.

 

I have some current experience with someone who is in the excuse department (IRL) and it's starting to really irritate me. This is not a homeschooler but a relative. She hasn't completely sunk yet, but on her current trajectory, she will. It's a certainty. But try to help her brainstorm an escape route and it's one excuse after another why that's not a way, she can't try that, etc., etc. and sometimes the excuses are unbearably lame. Grrr. It's totally frustrating to witness. She's sat on her *duff* all summer long, not making a red cent, while in contrast, I watched my nieces and nephews come home from college, get a job within a week or two and make money all summer. Meanwhile, I've heard endless excuses of why she can't do that. So now, several months have gone by and she is in not a dollar better position than she was in May, and with a summer's worth of money spent. Grrr. I don't have the patience to witness that sort of thing. It chaps my hide.

Edited August 10, 2011 by Quill
to remove some information

[FO4UR]

For sure, being a latchkey kid continuously was not good for you, either. Thanks for being gracious. I got a little wired up.

 

Sometimes, you do have to look at Plans C, D, E and F...or Z.

 

I have some current experience with someone who is in the excuse department (IRL) and it's starting to really irritate me. This is not a homeschooler but a freeloading relative of dh's. (Not freeloading off of us, but in the family). She hasn't completely sunk yet, but on her current trajectory, she will. It's a certainty. But try to help her brainstorm an escape route and it's one excuse after another why that's not a way, she can't try that, etc., etc. and sometimes the excuses are unbearably lame. Grrr. It's totally frustrating to witness. She's sat on her *duff* all summer long, not making a red cent, while in contrast, I watched my nieces and nephews come home from college, get a job within a week or two and make money all summer. Meanwhile, I've heard endless excuses of why she can't do that. So now, several months have gone by and she is in not a dollar better position than she was in May, and with a summer's worth of money spent. Grrr. I don't have the patience to witness that sort of thing. It chaps my hide.

 

yeah...expecting someone else to fend off your wolves is a different thread entirely...gah!