Do you care if your kids watch tv late at night once you're in bed?

[Rose in BC]

We only got cable for the hockey play offs. Now my ds's seem to think they're entitled to watch tv late at night. (We only have a few channels, mostly, relatively safe ones).

 

Would that make you mad? (ds are 15 and 14)

[melissel]

Not unless there were already rules or protocols about bedtime in place. If they're allowed to stay up as late as they want for whatever reason they choose, I don't think I'd be mad. I would, however, be getting rid of the cable as soon as possible though, because I know from experience that late night TV can turn unsavory quickly, and I don't think it's a great use of time, especially for kids/teens.

 

ETA: Obviously, I'm speaking only for my family here. For me, TV is very addictive, and if I let myself get sucked in, it starts to take up far too much space in my brain. I try to limit it for that reason. At the moment I'm a little peeved because DH wanted me to sit and snuggle with him while he was watching the second to last episode of MTV's The Real World, and now I'm feeling the need to watch the finale. I really do not have time or spare mental resources for that kind of thing right now! :glare:

Edited June 20, 2011 by melissel

[kchara]

At those ages, no, I wouldn't have a problem with it, unless they were sneaking up to watch it.

[In The Great White North]

Yep, it would make me mad.

 

I had a hard enough time getting ds out of bed at that age even without him getting up in the middle of the night to watch TV.

[Cindyz]

Do you have a DVR? I would have a list of approved shows and then I wouldn't mind.

[ChristusG]

For our family, I probably wouldn't allow it. My girls are still very young though, so they are always in bed when I'm in bed.

[Starr]

They would never get up in the morning.

[Margo out of lurking]

When my kids were younger, I would have said, no WAY would I let them watch tv while I was sleeping.

 

But I would let mine now. We usually have a fan running at night, so I wouldn't hear the tv. I go to bed before dd. Dd watches some things in her room on her computer, so it'd be no different watching on the tv. Ds has been staying up a bit later since it's summer (and he thinks he can, eyes rolling). Ds would watch Disney Channel, Avatar, or Funniest Home Videos. And it's no different than if they watched tv when dh and I aren't home.

 

So it wouldn't make me mad. There are some instances where I am more lax, others where I am more rigid. This is a lax one for me. Of course, ymmv. :001_smile:

[TammyinTN]

I would be very concerned....we have SKY TV from the UK and they show a lot of things I wouldn't want our child to see.

[Kim in Appalachia]

I like to get to bed early. My girls have stayed up to watch Myth Busters, Psych, or some other show we would love to watch too if we weren't so exhausted at the end of the day.

[elfgivas]

i am the last person in bed.

i need to be in bed by 10 pm if we are going to have a good day the next day.

 

if any of the dds under 20 were not tired enough to go to sleep by then, i'd take a good long look at what they weren't doing in the day, and add it. by the time they have done outdoor chores, school, music, and dance.... they are tired enough that everyone is in bed by 9pm, and asleep well before 10pm.

 

the dds over 20 don't live at home, but when they visit, they turn anything that makes noise off at 10pm out of respect for the rest of us. (and after they've been wakened at 6am a couple of days, they're asleep with the rest of us.

 

i'm puzzled; why would it be a good idea for them to be up when you aren't?

 

fwiw,

ann

[regentrude]

At that age, I would not have a problem.

I would discuss acceptable shows with them, but not censor. I would, however, insist on prompt beginning of school in the morning (unless it's summer vacation). My kids get to stay up as late as they want - but they have to get up at 7am on school days. They self-regulate pretty quickly.

[regentrude]

i'm puzzled; why would it be a good idea for them to be up when you aren't?

 

 

I am routinely in bed before my kids. I need a LOT of sleep, even as an adult, They don't. So I don't quite see what's bad about teens staying up longer than the parents.

It goes without saying that the people who stay up late are quiet and don't wake the sleepers.

[Mrs Mungo]

I don't need a lot of sleep and my kids do. So, they are required to be in bed with lights out at a certain time. Otherwise, they are all cranky and I hate that!

[Margo out of lurking]

i'm puzzled; why would it be a good idea for them to be up when you aren't?

 

 

For our family, it's part of letting our children grow up. We would much prefer my dd be trusted to routinely stay up later than us now than when she's 18 and off to college or living her own life when we are not around to provide any guidance. She's given a lot more freedom because she's proven herself to be trustworthy, and because we know a transition of some kind will happen in two more years when she graduates.

 

She has a great relationship with my son, and when he stays up later, it's usually with her. For us, there would be no reason for him to stay up later if he were the only one awake in the house. (He's 12; she's 16.)

[Virg]

I don't know how I will feel when my twins are that age but DSS who is 15 is NOT allowed to stay up after us, esp to watch TV. We have had numerous (read many, many, many) issues with sneaking, not innocent-sneaking-a-cookie either. Due to all these issues he has to be in bed before us. I still don't trust him not to get up after we are asleep and wreck havoc so we also have all the channels blocked (yay Comcast!), you need a PIN to unlock anything not rated G.

[kat19]

Normally when I go to bed, the kids have to go to bed.

There are a few nights where they stay up later than me but not very often.

[BatmansWife]

We only got cable for the hockey play offs. Now my ds's seem to think they're entitled to watch tv late at night. (We only have a few channels, mostly, relatively safe ones).

 

Would that make you mad? (ds are 15 and 14)

 

Well....depends on what you consider "late at night". Can they watch a show or two and be self disciplined enough to turn it off and then go to bed? It's pretty tempting to just keep watching it. Also, you said that most of your channels are "relatively safe ones". I'd be a little concerned with boys at this age. It could be pretty tempting to flip the channel to something you wouldn't agree with because mom and dad are asleep and who's gonna know?

 

At that age, I would not have a problem.

I would discuss acceptable shows with them, but not censor. I would, however, insist on prompt beginning of school in the morning (unless it's summer vacation). My kids get to stay up as late as they want - but they have to get up at 7am on school days. They self-regulate pretty quickly.

 

I'm not sure why you say "but not censor". The OP has "a few channels, mostly, relatively safe ones". I think she definitely should censor the unsafe channels.

 

Rose in BC...when we had DSL we could take off (or block) and channels that we didn't want (and there were a TON!). I mostly did it so I didn't have to keep flipping through a hundred channels (it wasn't just "bad" channels but stuff like sports and all kinds of junk I/we had no interest in).

 

ETA:....oops. It's not DSL...that's for computer, right? Well, I don't remember what that was called now. It was like cable but different. Maybe someone else can refresh my memory on what that's called.

 

ETA again: I think it was called Direct TV. Duh! We no longer have that or cable. We just have 3 local stations and the local weather channel. The reception isn't that great all the time....but the payoff is less channels and no cost. Yay!

Edited June 20, 2011 by ~AprilMay~

[Mrs Mungo]

I'm not sure why you say "but not censor". The OP has "a few channels, mostly, relatively safe ones". I think she definitely should censor the unsafe channels.

 

Notice, regentrude used "I statements." That is different than making a recommendation on what the OP should do.

 

"At that age, I would not have a problem.

I would discuss acceptable shows with them, but not censor. I would, however, insist on prompt beginning of school in the morning (unless it's summer vacation). My kids get to stay up as late as they want - but they have to get up at 7am on school days. They self-regulate pretty quickly."

 

The OP asked how other people feel about it in their own homes. Regentrude's answer is a legitimate one. The OP has to make up her own mind.

[Lauren R.]

These are my rules when it comes to tv:

 

My dd13 has her own room and i let her fall asleep watching tv

 

My ds11 has his own room and his tv is off at 10 o'clock at the latest, if i let him watch tv to fall asleep he wouldnt, he'd be up all night watching it.

 

My dd's 9,6, and 4 have their TV off at 9 o'clock

 

And my ds's 3 and 2 watch Kids show on demand after bath right before bed. Its off by 7:30.

 

 

Im in bed usually by 11 and if my dd13 is still awake i dont mind her watching tv, all the other kids are asleep by then.

[AvasMom]

I don't know that I would be mad unless it was an established rule they were breaking. But no I wouldn't let kids that age stay up watching TV. There is a whole world of inappropriate stuff on TV that late and teenagers aren't really known for their wisdom in entertainment choices. lol!

[Colleen]

We only got cable for the hockey play offs. Now my ds's seem to think they're entitled to watch tv late at night. (We only have a few channels, mostly, relatively safe ones).

 

Would that make you mad? (ds are 15 and 14)

I wouldn't go in for that, but it's not an issue here for a couple of reasons. One, I stay up way later than everyone else because I absolutely, positively must have time alone at the end of each day. And two, because when the sporting event we're watching is over, we turn off the satellite. We had it hooked up for the Cup (which I'm trying to no avail to purge from my memory...:tongue_smilie:) and if I just kept it hooked up, my guys would want to watch soccer every time I turn around. Since you only got cable for the playoffs, why don't you discontinue it now?

[Lizzie in Ma]

Only if they must and only til the pre-set bedtime.

It would bother me if I could hear it in the slightest, I am weird like that.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Right now, my rules are ... when the 'rents are in bed, no TV. I am not crazy about using the computer either, but will make an exception for school. I just can't turn off the parent brain when the kids are still up, so I don't sleep. I can stay up until 11, but I really shouldn't be up much later.

 

I am sure that will change once my kids go away to school. I know that there are parents who have different rules, but these are the ones that work for our family.

[Peela]

This year- kids were 15 and 16- we have that issue. I stopped being the bedtime police and I just go to bed when I am ready. They are almost always still up. I usually encourage them to make sure they get enough sleep, go to bed soon- but I don't enforce it any more.

The teenage years are quite a ride for these kinds of issues. At 14 and 15 I was still pretty strict about bedtimes but we were still homeschooling then. Now that we are not, I felt to let the issue go and let them find out the hard way what it is like to not get enough sleep. Ds gets himself to bed reasonably- dd is not so good at it and ends up very tired by weekends.

The TV issue wouldn't bother me.

[Rose in BC]

Well it has been the case of watching (the younger one anyways) when I've said go to bed but I'm wondering if this is one of those things I should just let go. You know, pick your battles.

 

I go to bed early 10:30 at the latest because I'm up at 5. All three of my kids are up later because they don't have to get up at 5.

[Amy in NH]

We don't have cable, but we do have Netflix. My kids are not allowed to "surf" after 10 pm, but if they are already watching a movie I will let them finish and shut if off after I am in bed.