thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 We went to dh's cousin's son's bar mitzvah party tonight. My two kids had been included on the invitation, so we all went together as a family. Well, when we got there, we were informed that the kids had to go in one room and the adults had to go out onto this balcony/patio thing. My kids were way younger than most of the kids and the DJ thing was so loud, my Aspie boy was not happy. Neither of my boys wanted to stay in there. So, we tried to take them with us to the patio, but were stopped by a police officer who said all kids had to go in the other room. I said my kids were too young to be in there by themselves, and he said, "Oh, really?" I didn't respond because I really didn't want to get arrested at the party for assaulting a police officer, but seriously, dude? Maybe his 6 and 8 year old kids hang out with a room full of 13 year olds that they don't know at all, but mine don't. And what business is it of his to contradict me if I say I don't want my kids in there. One of the staff told me it was because alcohol was served on the balcony. So, my 6 yr. old is going to try to swig a vodka tonic? I don't get it. Thankfully, I called my sister and she came and picked the kids up and took them home. I would have just left but dh felt obligated to stay. I hate when there are arbitrary rules that don't make sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 :grouphug: Sounds like he was on a little power trip. I would have left, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 That would be a deal breaker for me. I would have left the party--it is totally inappropriate to separate kids from parents against either party's wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I agree that the rule was completely inappropriate, but the police officer was just doing his job. He may have been a bit obnoxious about it, but I'm pretty sure that he didn't have the authority to let the kids in. :grouphug: Sorry the night went so badly for you. I probably would have left with the kids and let dh stay on his own if he wanted to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 A police officer at a party? Really? Here, they would have no authority for that sort of thing at all- that is a private issue. Being potentially arrested at a party for wanting to have your kids near you? Really? Here, a security guard might be hired- and they would still have no legal authority to separate kids from parents. They might just ask you to leave though. I would want to know on the invitation, also, that there would be an adults only part of the party and kids would be taken care of in another area, so that I coudl make that judgment call before the party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Was this at a private home or a hired hall? If it was at a hired hall, then the police officer may very well have been telling the truth about not being able to have minors where they were serving alcohol. I'm sure those kinds of laws vary from place to place, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Wow, I'm just floored. I certainly hope there was some form of adult watching all those kids. Sheeshkabobs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Whatever the deal it would have been nice if they told you that beforehand. My thoughts exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 That is crazy!! I would have up and left right then and there, no matter if it were family or not. DD is 7 and there's no way she'd want to leave my side and go into a room full of strange kids. And I don't blame her....I wouldn't want her to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacyandtherugrats Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 (edited) How ridiculous! Alcohol is served at many places that children are present. Weddings anyone??? I have never been to a wedding where alcohol was served where the children were legally required to not be present with the alcohol. I would have left regardless if hubby wanted to be there. Tho hubby would have been just as offended as me. Actually, he probably would have gone up to the family hosting the event and told them to their face. Separating the children from their parents! Humph! :grouphug: Edited May 22, 2011 by Stacyandtherugrats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Okay, I'll be the odd duck ~ having a separate kids room at an event wouldn't bother me in & of itself. I remember going to things like that as a kid and we just had fun in the kids area - our own tables, food, games, tv, music, whatever. Of course though - no parent HAS to let their kids do that and the OP had every right to pack up her children and leave. (and be annoyed at the guy's attitude if he spoke rudely) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 Okay, I'll be the odd duck ~ having a separate kids room at an event wouldn't bother me in & of itself. I remember going to things like that as a kid and we just had fun in the kids area - our own tables, food, games, tv, music, whatever. Of course though - no parent HAS to let their kids do that and the OP had every right to pack up her children and leave. (and be annoyed at the guy's attitude if he spoke rudely) Having the kids in a separate room was not the issue. Sure, if I were a kid, I'd rather go into a fun kid room than hang out with my parents on a balcony with other adults. But these kids were much older and the "game" they were playing when we walked into the kid room was identifying pop songs from small snippets of music. Not exactly fun for my little guys. It was very loud and my kids didn't know anyone apart from the bar mitzvah boy. What I objected to, was that I was being forced to leave my children there against their will if I wanted to remain at the party. As many of you have said, my kids have been to plenty of weddings where alcohol was served, and nothing has ever happened. I can see not letting unaccompanied children onto the balcony, but kids under 10 in the presence of their parents? That's just insane. The event was held at a country club and the police officer was from the city police, not a security guard. If he hadn't been such a *@#^!, I might have made a bigger fuss and insisted the kids stay with me, but it all turned out okay, because as my boys say, my sister "rescued" them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 It is not uncommon for police officers to be hired as security for events. They are paid by the host or country club but do wear their uniform. He was enforcing a rule of the host or country club, not a law I expect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Could you have stayed with your children in the children's area, or was there a rule against that, too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Where was this event held? The entire thing sounds strange to me. Are you sure it was an on duty police officer and not a security guard? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Okay, I'll be the odd duck ~ having a separate kids room at an event wouldn't bother me in & of itself. I remember going to things like that as a kid and we just had fun in the kids area - our own tables, food, games, tv, music, whatever. Of course though - no parent HAS to let their kids do that and the OP had every right to pack up her children and leave. (and be annoyed at the guy's attitude if he spoke rudely) Having the kids in a separate room was not the issue. Sure, if I were a kid, I'd rather go into a fun kid room than hang out with my parents on a balcony with other adults. But these kids were much older and the "game" they were playing when we walked into the kid room was identifying pop songs from small snippets of music. Not exactly fun for my little guys. It was very loud and my kids didn't know anyone apart from the bar mitzvah boy. What I objected to, was that I was being forced to leave my children there against their will if I wanted to remain at the party. As many of you have said, my kids have been to plenty of weddings where alcohol was served, and nothing has ever happened. I can see not letting unaccompanied children onto the balcony, but kids under 10 in the presence of their parents? That's just insane. The event was held at a country club and the police officer was from the city police, not a security guard. If he hadn't been such a *@#^!, I might have made a bigger fuss and insisted the kids stay with me, but it all turned out okay, because as my boys say, my sister "rescued" them. I think maybe you got the wrong impression from my post ~ I never said that YOU shouldn't have been bothered by the situation or anything, just that I wouldn't have minded it… in fact, I said that no parent HAS to allow that and that you had every right to pack up your kids and leave (or send them off with your sister, as the case is). You and your kids didn't like it, so your kids didn't take part. Nothing wrong with that :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 I think maybe you got the wrong impression from my post ~ I never said that YOU shouldn't have been bothered by the situation or anything, just that I wouldn't have minded it… in fact, I said that no parent HAS to allow that and that you had every right to pack up your kids and leave (or send them off with your sister, as the case is). You and your kids didn't like it, so your kids didn't take part. Nothing wrong with that :) I'm sorry if my response sounded hostile:blush:. I guess I'm still a little worked up about it. :boxing_smiley::cursing: Time for a :chillpill:! I don't think I've ever used that many smilies in one post! As to whether we could have stayed with the kids in the kid room- I'm sure we could have if we ignored the 20 different staff people who kept telling us adults were on the balcony. And none of us wanted to be in that room with the loud, horrible music. Plus, the point of us being there in the first place was to see relatives and friends that only get together sporadically, so hanging out with the local class of 2016 was not in the plans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 If a child is WITH a parent, that is ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Was this at a private home or a hired hall? If it was at a hired hall, then the police officer may very well have been telling the truth about not being able to have minors where they were serving alcohol. I'm sure those kinds of laws vary from place to place, though. This is what I'm wondering? Maybe according to the club's liquor license children are not allowed in areas where alcohol is served? I would not have been bothered either, but I would want to know about that arrangement beforehand. I think it's kind of a nice idea, but if my kids are much younger and don't know anyone I can imagine it not being so great. I agree that people with kids should have been made aware ahead of time so that parents could make the choice ahead of time instead of being faced with it upon arrival. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 That would be a deal breaker for me. I would have left the party--it is totally inappropriate to separate kids from parents against either party's wishes. :iagree: And maybe the rules are different, but here, as long as a kid is w/ a parent, they can be in a bar. I would have told dh to have a grand time and taken the kids home. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Where was this event held? The entire thing sounds strange to me. Are you sure it was an on duty police officer and not a security guard? I know that it's very common in my area to hire police officers for parties and such. And, while they are being privately paid, they are always "on duty" and it's no different than interacting with a random police officer on the street. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 That is very odd. I agree, they should have told you ahead of time. I wouldn't have wanted my girls to go in there either and probably would have headed home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ejadragna Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 the parties that are thrown for 13 and 16 year olds these days are quite ridiculous Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Sounds like they forgot about your young kid's ages. I can see where all the early teens would have had a blast being together in their own room, but not your small children. The hosts should have warned you specifically ahead of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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