The annual "Be Nice to Mom" Day AKA...

[Sue G in PA]

why I hate Mother's Day. :glare: It's the one day a year when dh tells the kids "today is Mother's Day. You need to be nice to Mom today". So, today, dh has spent half the day putting in a new A/C window unit...only to have a part break as he is putting the front cover on. :glare: So, now dh is not in a real patient mood. The kids are not being "nice" and dh, wanting them to be nice b/c it is Mother's Day weekend, is not being so patient with them. I've spent the morning sweeping and mopping floors, doing dishes, fighting with a washing machine that keeps giving me the bleeping F/H error message (we have ants in our plumbing somewhere and they are probably clogging up the works somewhere) and fighting kids who are saying, "I'm bored"...in other words "entertain me". So I gave them chores. :D And they weren't too happy and let me know. So now they are grounded. And tomorrow isn't going to be about me...2 of my kids have birthdays next week and want to go to my Mom's to celebrate. I feel like just screaming..."If you can't be respectful and pleasant to me every other blasted day of the year, please don't do me any favors and do it just b/c it is Mother's Day!" :glare: Sorry to vent...I've just had it. I'm sick of reading about Karen and how she is this horrible person and shouldn't be practicing and yadda, yadda, yadda and I'm sick of kids who have to be TOLD or guilted in to being nice to me just b/c somebody instituted some random day to celebrate Mother's. Okay, rant over. Thanks for listening. For those of you having nice weekends and doing special stuff for Mother's Day....I do sincerely hope it is a great day for you.

[Impish]

:grouphug:

 

Mother's day used to be a horror show here. Seriously. Massive fighting with Wolf...it was like, without fail, he'd have to act completely out of character and pick this huge-dance-on-the-edge-of-destroying-our-marriage-fight.

 

I finally clued in to what was really going on. Had *everything* to do with him having been abandoned, then adopted, and his feelings toward the 2 mothers he had/has. So, I called him on it. The light went on, and its been great since then.

 

I hope things get better for you :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Mommy22alyns]

It's the one day a year when dh tells the kids "today is Mother's Day. You need to be nice to Mom today". So, today, dh has spent half the day putting in a new A/C window unit...only to have a part break as he is putting the front cover on. :glare: So, now dh is not in a real patient mood. The kids are not being "nice" and dh, wanting them to be nice b/c it is Mother's Day weekend, is not being so patient with them.

 

 

Don't you hate that? DH is then stressed out because he wants the kids to behave for your sake, but they're not behaving, so he flips out at them, which frankly just stresses YOU back out! :glare:

[aggie96]

I am right there with you. :glare: EVERY Mother's Day I have had so far as a mother (only 6!) has been a nightmare of pissy kids and pissy husband. So this year I BEGGED and PLEADED to just FORGET Mother's Day. I "think" DH finally agreed to just drop it this year, but sure enough...this morning started off with pissy husband and pissy kids. Grrrrrrrr... Happy Mother's Day! :tongue_smilie:

[BakersDozen]

 

I feel like just screaming..."If you can't be respectful and pleasant to me every other blasted day of the year, please don't do me any favors and do it just b/c it is Mother's Day!"

I decided in high school to never celebrate Mother's Day when I became a mom. My dh felt the same as we both grew up with families who suddenly treated each other nicely only because it was a special day. It was sickening. I don't want gifts, flowers or cards because the calendar says that should happen. I don't want special treatment and I don't want to feel as though I have to show special treatment to my own mom. If my dc/dh want to express their appreciation for me as a mom then they can do it any one of the other 364 days of the year of their own free will, just not on Mother's Day because it is expected of them to do so.

[kchara]

I hate Mother's Day. Hate it, hate it, hate it. To me, it means guilt and obsession and depression. I wish it would just go away. Unfortunately, 3 of my 6 are completely in love with the idea, bless their hearts, and I can't escape it. ((sigh))

[WTMCassandra]

I am right there with you. :glare: EVERY Mother's Day I have had so far as a mother (only 6!) has been a nightmare of pissy kids and pissy husband. So this year I BEGGED and PLEADED to just FORGET Mother's Day. I "think" DH finally agreed to just drop it this year, but sure enough...this morning started off with pissy husband and pissy kids. Grrrrrrrr... Happy Mother's Day! :tongue_smilie:

 

Then perhaps what you need for Mother's Day is a nice night in a hotel, with you staying out doing what you want ALL. DAY. tomorrow.:lol:

[nmoira]

I am right there with you. :glare: EVERY Mother's Day I have had so far as a mother (only 6!) has been a nightmare of pissy kids and pissy husband. So this year I BEGGED and PLEADED to just FORGET Mother's Day. I "think" DH finally agreed to just drop it this year, but sure enough...this morning started off with pissy husband and pissy kids. Grrrrrrrr... Happy Mother's Day! :tongue_smilie:

Gah!

 

I did this with my birthday this year, then threw a surprise party for myself. I invited a few friends over to play a game and didn't let the family in on the secret that it was also my party until they asked about the gifts. It was my best birthday in years. :D

 

We're leaving tomorrow for a short trip, and I've already told them we can't count a travel day as Mother's day so they can take me out for sushi next weekend instead.

Edited May 7, 2011 by nmoira

[Sara in AZ]

I hate Mother's Day. Hate it, hate it, hate it. To me, it means guilt and obsession and depression. I wish it would just go away. Unfortunately, 3 of my 6 are completely in love with the idea, bless their hearts, and I can't escape it. ((sigh))

 

Me too. Plus, I always have to entertain MIL on Mother's Day. And watching dh (who in all fairness does treat me pretty well the rest of the year) scurry around desperately the day before to get me something because he didn't plan ahead doesn't make me feel very special. I'm off to go to the grocery store now. I have chosen what we will eat tomorrow (vegetarian for MIL) and he'll probably notify me late tonight, possibly tomorrow that he would like to cook. Lucky for him we'll have a well stocked kitchen.

[Mynyel]

I agree, I hate Mother's Day for the fact kids need to be forced for one day to be good to you. Humph :glare:.

 

I also LOVE Mother's Day because it gives me an excuse to say, "No, I won't wash your socks, it's Mothers Day." "No, I won't cook dinner, it's Mother's Day." "No, I won't change that poopy diaper, it's Mothers Day!"

 

I like being able to tell everyone no and stick my nose in a book or play a game :P

[AK_Mom4]

I have set my expectations appropriately for Mother's Day.

 

Every year, DH asks what I want for Mother's Day. Every year, I ask that they clean out my car and (possibly) vacumn it out as my Mother's Day present. It's a 5-10 minute job.

 

Most years it actually happens.

 

Since I actually have one kid living away from home at college this year, I might even get a phone call. More likely, though, it will be a text message.

 

That's good enough.

[Amy1k]

I had to really change my expectations in order to enjoy Mother's Day. For the last few years, I've treated myself. Last week I treated myself to a full salon treatment on my hair and an expensive pedicure. It felt good. :D Also, I have three sons and a daughter. My daughter, just 10, has always made it a priority that Mother's Day is celebrated well. :001_wub:

[NanceXToo]

As far as I'm concerned, Mother's Day is a perfectly good day to indulge myself. It might mean going and getting a pedicure, or shopping for a little something, or whatever. My husband will usually cook a meal of my choosing and we may invite my mother over for said meal or we may plan a separate meal for which we can include her.

 

But I certainly don't look at it as some day where I have to expect everyone to be nicer than usual for a day and then get upset if/when it doesn't happen. I'd rather just splurge a bit on myself, have a nice meal at some point, and call it good. :D

 

Hope your tomorrow is better than your today! :grouphug:

[silliness7]

why I hate Mother's Day. :glare: It's the one day a year when dh tells the kids "today is Mother's Day. You need to be nice to Mom today". So, today, dh has spent half the day putting in a new A/C window unit...only to have a part break as he is putting the front cover on. :glare: So, now dh is not in a real patient mood. The kids are not being "nice" and dh, wanting them to be nice b/c it is Mother's Day weekend, is not being so patient with them. I've spent the morning sweeping and mopping floors, doing dishes, fighting with a washing machine that keeps giving me the bleeping F/H error message (we have ants in our plumbing somewhere and they are probably clogging up the works somewhere) and fighting kids who are saying, "I'm bored"...in other words "entertain me". So I gave them chores. :D And they weren't too happy and let me know. So now they are grounded. And tomorrow isn't going to be about me...2 of my kids have birthdays next week and want to go to my Mom's to celebrate. I feel like just screaming..."If you can't be respectful and pleasant to me every other blasted day of the year, please don't do me any favors and do it just b/c it is Mother's Day!" :glare: Sorry to vent...I've just had it. I'm sick of reading about Karen and how she is this horrible person and shouldn't be practicing and yadda, yadda, yadda and I'm sick of kids who have to be TOLD or guilted in to being nice to me just b/c somebody instituted some random day to celebrate Mother's. Okay, rant over. Thanks for listening. For those of you having nice weekends and doing special stuff for Mother's Day....I do sincerely hope it is a great day for you.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

You are having a bad weekend. I'm very sorry.

 

Your rant sounds like something similar I said to my family a couple of months ago. They were being so horrible about picking up after themselves. They left everything out...schoolbooks, shoes, food, dishes, clothes, jackets, instruments, ev'.ry.thing. Toilets not flushed, t.p. all over the bathroom. Arrggh!! I am NOT the MAID!!! Was Mother's Day invented by people who wanted to assuage the guilt they felt in treating the women in their life like the stinkin' maid? As if one lousy breakfast in bed could make up for their slovenly ways all the other 364 days of the year.

 

I'm right there with you. :glare:

[silliness7]

 

But I certainly don't look at it as some day where I have to expect everyone to be nicer than usual for a day and then get upset if/when it doesn't happen.

 

That's exactly the thing. What woman wants a rude piggish family 364 days and then get the phony fake niceness for one day? I don't think anyone is getting mad that they're aren't getting fake niceness. The desire is for a higher level of civility and helpfulness all the days of the year. But it's very frustrating when the hubby (not the momma) tries to force the kids to be nicer than they're accustomed to and everyone ends up getting madder than they were to begin with. Skip it!

[Sue G in PA]

That's exactly it. Dad yelling at the kids to "be nice to Mom" and the kids looking at him like, "Why? This is how we always treat her!". :glare: Dd14 has been working on something for me and so I will have to pretend to be excited about tomorrow for her sake. Honestly? I would just like to sleep in, drink my coffee w/out having to get up and fix breakfast for somebody else, referee a fight or change an almost 3yo's diaper. No breakfast in bed, no gifts, no bells or whistles.

[Susan in TX]

I don't want gifts, flowers or cards because the calendar says that should happen. If my dc/dh want to express their appreciation for me as a mom then they can do it any one of the other 364 days of the year of their own free will, just not on Mother's Day because it is expected of them to do so.

 

:iagree:

 

And I don't expect anything from my DH on Mother's Day because I am not HIS mother. If the children want to do something, and they need his assistance, that's fine but I want it to be coming from them and only if it is something they WANT to do, not something they feel obligated to do. And as far as I'm concerned, every day is Mother's Day.

 

Susan in TX

[kat19]

:iagree:

 

And I don't expect anything from my DH on Mother's Day because I am not HIS mother. If the children want to do something, and they need his assistance, that's fine but I want it to be coming from them and only if it is something they WANT to do, not something they feel obligated to do. And as far as I'm concerned, every day is Mother's Day.

 

Susan in TX

 

Well my 3 year old said I needed a Spider man toy :lol:

I know him and hubby didn't get that today when they were out and about..They only went to Barnes and Noble :D

[AuntieM]

I will join your club. I really dislike Mother's Day. I do not like being obligatorily glorified for the day. I don't like the manufactured quality of it and the guilt that goes along with it.

 

I don't like the stress I see my dh go through as he is put in the position to have to decide to celebrate my way (ie, minimize the day) or his family's way (big back-patting shindig). I think my husband gets the worst end of it as he tries to manage between making a big deal of it with his mom and trying to teach our kids to honor their own mother.

 

Just give me a typical relaxing Sunday afternoon free from guilt and obligation and that's the best gift I could receive. Well, that and my kids just being nice and appreciative throughout the year, with the freedom to express that when they feel led rather than at the annual nudge from Hallmark.

[newbie]

That's exactly the thing. What woman wants a rude piggish family 364 days and then get the phony fake niceness for one day? I don't think anyone is getting mad that they're aren't getting fake niceness. The desire is for a higher level of civility and helpfulness all the days of the year. But it's very frustrating when the hubby (not the momma) tries to force the kids to be nicer than they're accustomed to and everyone ends up getting madder than they were to begin with. Skip it!

Thanks for the chuckle of the day.

[Plucky]

That's exactly it. Dad yelling at the kids to "be nice to Mom" and the kids looking at him like, "Why? This is how we always treat her!". :glare:

 

Sweetie, you really need to fix this. Your kids should treat you nice everyday (with a few exceptions).

[LauraGB]

I left for thirty minutes this evening to buy grocery staples that we were missing for tomorrow. When I came home, everyone was quickly removing their junk from all the main rooms and vacuuming. For points. :glare:

 

The problem is that I make a living (or rather, I don't get paid squat) picking up their stuff all the rest of the year, and then they actually find the vacuum, locate the "On" button, once each year, and I'm supposed to pat them on the back? Kinda done with that. It was cute when they were 5. Kind of insulting when they are 12 (and dh is almost 40).

 

I want a second dog or maybe they can build some raised bed planters for me, or, I don't know, anything other than taking over my job for 30 minutes and calling it good.

:001_huh: Goodness. I sound a bit bitter, don't I? Yikes.

[Chelle in MO]

Well my 3 year old said I needed a Spider man toy :lol:

I know him and hubby didn't get that today when they were out and about..They only went to Barnes and Noble :D

 

A Spiderman book, maybe? :D

[Margaret in GA]

I decided in high school to never celebrate Mother's Day when I became a mom. My dh felt the same as we both grew up with families who suddenly treated each other nicely only because it was a special day. It was sickening. I don't want gifts, flowers or cards because the calendar says that should happen. I don't want special treatment and I don't want to feel as though I have to show special treatment to my own mom. If my dc/dh want to express their appreciation for me as a mom then they can do it any one of the other 364 days of the year of their own free will, just not on Mother's Day because it is expected of them to do so.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

 

And this is why I also hate Valentine's Day. Unrealistic expectations from a greeting card holiday.

 

Margaret, blissfully happy today because I made it so