Public school was good enough for me, it is good enough for my child

[Alicia64]

Well, I'm 46 and had a horrible experience in "good" schools from third grade on up to being a senior in high school.

 

My third grade teacher was abusive verbally to me and another boy. The mom of the other boy had a brain and had him transferred. Not my mom. I got to stay with that class for the entire school session.

 

Fourth grade was a little better, but I've realized in retrospect that the teachers talk and that third grade teacher probably said stuff to my fourth grade teacher.

 

Funny enough my fifth grade teacher was a man, a nice guy, who either wasn't in the lunch time loop or chose to ignore the third grade teacher.

 

We moved in early sixth and my new teacher was nice to me, but a friend of mine still today talks about feeling bullied from that teacher.

 

Then middle school and all of it's problems hit -- one girl had relations using a baggie as protection in eighth grade. There were drugs too.

 

And we were in an upper middle class community of the Bay Area, CA.

 

So, the theory that school was fine "back when" is subjective to say the least.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

Alley

[Alicia64]

No! He was adamant that my children belonged in the PS! It was a little twilight zone moment for me because I have had, over the course of 11 years of homeschooling, only a handful of odd comments and an overwhelming amount of supportive ones.

 

If he's adamant, then IMO he needs to get a life. Really, who has time to stick their noses so deeply into someone else's beeswax?

 

I'm way too busy and if I have the luxury of time I have great books to read.

 

Sheez.

 

Alley

[Alice]

I haven't read the whole thread so maybe someone else said this but I get this comment all the time as a pediatrician on things like carseats, seat belts, helmets, etc. "We rolled around in the back of the station wagon and it was good enough for us." Etc.

 

I can only say that just because you "survived" something doesn't necesssarily mean we should continue to do it that way. With that logic I could say "My grandfather didn't go to school past the seventh grade and he was ok". or "We used to do surgery without anesthesia and people ended up ok." or "Lots of kids I know ended up ok even though their parents had nasty divorces, maybe we should get one too."

[G5052]

Maybe it comes from doing this for more than a decade and being middle-aged, but I don't even go there. It is a put-down to say something like that to me, and comments like that end the discussion. I've been told that I shouldn't teach my children Latin because it will make them too smart and unable to get along with people. I didn't go there either.

 

Ignorant comments about my homeschooling choices mean a change of subject, and if they press on, I move away.

[rlugbill]

I am 51, so I went to a "good" public school in the 60s and 70s. I have also taught school.

 

The schools haven't changed that much since I went to school. Same football and cheerleaders (although some different moves), same cliques, same boring classes, bad cafeteria food, pep rallies, lockers, school buses, etc.

 

I went to school back then and that's why I don't want my dd to go to public school. It wasn't very good back then and it's not very good now. It's not designed to help children.

 

The teachers aren't bad people- it's the entire system. It's not a nurturing place. It's a very negative atmosphere where the worst kids rule the school and force others to adhere to their low standards for behavior.

 

Years ago, when my older brother and sister told my parents that a lot of the kids in high school were using drugs, my parents brought it up with the school administration. The school officials refused to acknowledge any problem, even though about half the kids were getting high on a regular basis. So, nothing was done about it.

 

But, what could my parents do? They couldn't afford private schools. Homeschooling didn't exist back then. All they could do was to send us to the public school and pray we didn't get caught up in that culture.

 

My dd was homeschooled until now and next year (8th grade), she'll go to the best private school around here.

 

Great school and a good fit, or else she would have stayed home. Small classes, the teachers are highly-educated- some have PhDs and all have advanced degrees. They really care about the students and listen to them. If your child needs help, they will give it to them.

 

The curriculum is rigorous, yet it's a warm, caring atmosphere. I know she will be ready for college after attending there. She is already well-prepared for school and is a great kid. I wouldn't want to see her be forced to conform to the low standards at the "good" public school in our area.

 

So, public school wasn't "good enough for me". It didn't do me much good. I didn't enjoy it. It only prepared me in the most basic way. It didn't help me fulfill my potential. As long as you were doing ok, no one helped you do even better. No one inspired me.

 

And I want better for my daughter. Just "good enough" isn't good enough. Sure, she would do ok at the local public school, but it wouldn't be the best she was capable of. If we can help her to do her best, we will.

[redsquirrel]

I guess one's reasons for homeschooling will have a lot to do with one's response to that statement.

 

I don't think all public schools are terrible. I certainly don't think all homeschool situations are superior. I also don't homeschool for only academic reasons. That makes statements like "it was good enough for me" fairly non-threatening to me.

 

For statements like that I tend to say things along the lines of "we do what is best for our own families" or I just don't say anything. A vague smile and a nod can go a long way to shutting down a conversation.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Maybe it comes from doing this for more than a decade and being middle-aged, but I don't even go there. It is a put-down to say something like that to me, and comments like that end the discussion. I've been told that I shouldn't teach my children Latin because it will make them too smart and unable to get along with people. I didn't go there either.

 

Ignorant comments about my homeschooling choices mean a change of subject, and if they press on, I move away.

 

Wow, I got that one once too.

[Just Robyn]

If it were someone I didn't know I might say nothing, or I might point out, like a pp said, how ridiculous that argument is for anything.

 

If it is someone I know I ask them what their point of comparison is. They feel they had a good education compared to what? Compared to nothing? If that's the case, I agree. Compared to the worst school is the nation? Sure, I agree with that too. How about compared to an ideal education? Most people, in my experience, haven't taken the time to think about what they could have had in an education or what their children could have. They have spent no time whatsoever thinking about what makes for a really good education.

 

Yes, I hear that argument all the time, btw.

 

I have spent quite a bit of time comparing the education I got to the education someone who went to the same schools as me 20 years earlier got and mine was *considerably* worse. I have also spent time talking to someone who graduated just a few years ago after having gone to the same schools. His education was at least as bad as mine. He was reading my third grader's grammar book and said, "Oh. I didn't know 'is' is a verb!" These schools that we all went to are some of the best in the state if you go by test scores. My mother, another person who went to the same schools, but earlier than all the cases mentioned so far, says they didn't read a single classic novel when she was in school and they didn't teach academic writing either. It was assumed that most children would not go to college is what I'm told. So, the same schools, different decades, a great difference in the education received.

[rlugbill]

I see two issues: 1. What you think about yourself and homeschooling? and 2. How to respond to people with poor social skills and boundary issues who offer their uninformed, uninvited opinions without regard to others?

 

And if you view number 1 through the lense of number 2, you will see that his opinion carries no weight and should not affect how you view homeschooling. How much research has he done on the topic? What is the basis for his opinion? Does he have extensive experience or training on the topic? For some reason, education is one thing that everyone feels they know about, even without a proper basis for their opinions.

 

Anyway, don't let his uninformed, baseless opinion bother you.

 

As for number 2, how do you respond? I have found that saying "huh" in neutral manner is effective in killing almost any conversation. It isn't so rude as to be offensive, yet somehow it stops the conversation cold.

 

Or, you can simply change the topic. We've been having a lot of rain lately, haven't we. Or, just excuse yourself.

 

You probably don't need to bother explaining to him what an idiot he is for even offering his opinion. You definitely do not owe him any explanation as to why you homeschool. Just avoid the topic and preferably, avoid him. You are unlikely to have any interesting conversations with someone like that.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

"Good enough" isn't good enough for my children. I consider my K-12 ps experience to be a huge waste of time and of poor quality compared to the alternatives. I'm not looking for an education that is "good enough" for my children. I am looking for the best education I can possibly provide for my children-that's why we're Classical Homeschoolers. Between the high quality and outstanding track record of Classical Education and the maximum customization that comes with the tutorial model (which is not possible in an institutional setting of any kind) ps is simply not good enough for my children because I have different goals for and a different approach to education than ps.

 

Generally speaking, anyone petty and petulant enough to deny their children something of value because they themselves did not have it as children is a waste of time in a conversation. They have nothing worthwhile to contribute.

 

I'm going to memorize this :D

[RanchGirl]

I would want to say "You're probably right". I would probably actually say something like "I'm glad your child is doing well at XYZ school." And then change the subject.

 

I have not heard anyone say that, and although I can imagine someone saying it, I can't imagine him saying it multiple times in the same conversation. Do you think maybe he was a bit off? Sounds kinda strange to me!

[Mommy22alyns]

Hang around long enough, and you'll hear 'em all. :tongue_smilie:

[mama2cntrykids]

PS was NOT good enough for me. I came away with a poor education with many holes in it. It didn't help that I went to 8 different ps during my 13 years of education. I don't want my poor education having anything to do with my kids' education. I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I can do better than what was given to me. My kids are already past the point I was at when I was their ages. Sad, but thankfully true!

[Audrey]

My FIL said that to dh once. Dh told him that it wasn't up for discussion, and that was that.

[*Lulu*]

Spam reported.

[Mama2Many4]

My public school education was NOT good enough for me, and definitely NOT good enough for my children.

 

That's all I'm saying on that!

[Gingerbread Mama]

My husband used to say it when I first brought up the idea of homeschooling. :glare: Of course now he's a cheerleader for homeschooling. :D

 

 

That's funny, I was going to say that it sounded like something my husband would say. He has, though, been amazingly peppy about homeschooling.

 

I'm always floored when people use the "good enough" arguement for anything. I know what they mean when they use it, but it sounds so stupid. When I hear it, what I'm thinking is "I won't let my kids have it even a little better than I did. If something was awful for me, by gosh, it's going to be awful for them!"

 

I don't think you can compare schools now to schools from years ago. I went to school in the 80's/90's. It wasn't fabulous, but there was more discipline. I do agree with the poster who said they had 3 recesses and it made a difference. My stepdad said they had 2 recesses until they were pretty big kids. We are new to homeschooling, but I'm hoping that breaking up our day with play breaks will help my youngest focus during work time.

[desertmum]

My husband used to say it when I first brought up the idea of homeschooling. :glare: Of course now he's a cheerleader for homeschooling. :D

 

:iagree:

 

DH jokes that you can tell ds hasn't set foot in a ps because he (ds) thinks he can do and achieve anything he sets his mind to.

[Lisbeth]

Depending on my mood, my response would be: "Really? I went to ps for gradeschool and was bored out of my mind by the dumbed- down curriculum." Or, "Well, Bless your heart! Pass the bean dip."

[LaxMom]

Forgive me, I'm confused, as I always am by this argument. (Not just in educational choices. This seems to pervade all areas)

 

When did "good enough" become a goal? "Good enough" used to be what you settle for when you fail to meet your goal.

[Kate CA]

If he's adamant, then IMO he needs to get a life. Really, who has time to stick their noses so deeply into someone else's beeswax?

 

I'm way too busy and if I have the luxury of time I have great books to read.

 

Sheez.

 

Alley

 

I completely agree! :001_smile:

[mom2denj]

I don't care if schools 20 or 30 or 40 years ago were awesome and schools now STINK. That isn't why I homeschool, because of the successes or failures of the public schools. I homeschool because I can guide my dc's learning in an individual way that no school setting can emulate.

 

Like you, I bean dip. I won't engage in a debate over it. (Ironically, the first time I heard it was out of my dh's mouth when I told him I wanted to homeschool! :lol: Boy, has he changed his tone over the last 8 years!)

 

Fwiw, I was a success out of the public school system; some excellent schools/teachers, some crappy schools/teachers. But that doesn't mean my dc can't have more, can't have it better. ;)

 

:party:

[SKL]

I think the trend when I was a kid was for public schools to lower their standards; in fact, I think they hit rock bottom around that time frame. And also, in big cities, "busing" was being forced and managed poorly. Things seem to be going back in the other direction nowadays. On the other hand, in those days they had more flexibility to discipline kids (which I think was generally a good thing) and didn't force a badly-designed curriculum of relativism.

 

But I think in either case, overall quality depended/depends on the school district. In the city where I live, I think schools may be better now than they were then. And I plan to send my kids without guilt, beginning next year.

 

In the city where I lived as a child, my parents (who were low-income) decided that the public schools "then" were not good enough for us, and sacrificed to put us into parochial schools. And still today, I wouldn't send my kids there if there were any way to avoid it.

[gardenmom5]

When 1dd was a young infant, my mil did tell me that she didn't have seatbelts or carseats when her children were small, and they turned out fine . . . . . :001_huh: