So, we visited a new church today...

[Blueridge]

We're trying so hard to find a place that feels happy and welcoming. We're lonely! We want to belong! We've home churched in the past, and it's been many years since we were members of a larger church. Well, Easter is coming up, and their whole service revolved around the Lord's supper. In the middle of the service, a lady started singing an extremely sad song (one of many) and they started a slide show of dozens of shots from that graphic movie The Passion of the Christ. OH MY GOODNESS. My poor children were about to weep, covering their eyes, sighing, struggling. I cannot believe this congregation thought this would be acceptable. I am still about to cry. This was a Baptist church. Are all churches doing things like this during the Easter season? We'll lay low for a while before visiting any more churches, I think.

[tntgoodwin]

No, not all are doing that. What did you have a problem with? The fact that children were in the room with scenes of the crucifixion?

[MindyD]

I'm not sure what you're upset about. Is it because the images were too graphic for your children or the subject matter? I don't think I'd want my kids to see those images right now either, but the subject matter is a different story. I'm Baptist as well, and for us, Easter is It. It's the foundation of our faith. Jesus died on the cross for the sins of the world, then He was raised on the 3rd day because death could not hold Him. I think it's common for churches to focus on the death of Christ in the weeks before Easter so that we can really appreciate the work that Jesus did for us.

On the other hand, we're searching for a church as well. We moved here recently and have been looking for a church home. It's so hard to find where we fit in. We've found a couple of churches that we really like, but we're trying to see where we really belong. We also want some friends so it's just hard! I hope you find a church that you feel comfortable and welcome!

[justamouse]

Well, Passion week is coming up, it's Lent and this is a time of remembrance. That's why all that is going on. But yeah, I agree that those images can be very hard on small kids, and, if they see them when they're not ready, it may even numb them to what actually happened. I don't think my parish church is having anything like that for the reasons you stated.

 

Palm Sunday would be a good Sunday to visit, and then Easter?

[Teachin'Mine]

:grouphug:

 

I'm Catholic, so we're familiar with the Crucified Jesus from infancy on up, but NEVER would I want scenes from The Passion shown during Mass, or a regular church service. I know churches have shown The Passion in the evening, but all who went knew in advance that they'd be seeing the movie. It's way too graphic for young children. I'd not be able to watch it myself.

 

Don't give up on church though! Actually next Sunday is Palm Sunday - one of my favorites. It doesn't deal with the crucifixion, but is actually a celebration and deals with events leading up to the crucifixion. I'd give the church a call and let them know that your children were upset by the presentation. At the same time, you can ask what they have planned for this coming Sunday and you can see if it's something that would work for your family.

 

:grouphug:

[Margo out of lurking]

:grouphug: Ginger, I'm there with you, and I take some small comfort in sharing my misery with someone else. You may remember that we've been driving an hour to L_____g. We got there and my kids were bickering about who got to sit next to who, and who did or didn't want the aisle, in church (as in while we were IN there). They are 12 and 16. My husband had already disappeared, finally joining us 15 mins. into the music. He doesn't know anyone, so he wasn't talking to someone. I do not like the music at this place. We were supposed to stay for a bbq afterwards and maybe MEET someone (we do have one set of friends from our city who also go there, and we know one other family). But I know my kids didn't want to stay, and I was in no mood to be cheery.

 

So we came home with our food and took the kids out to the nearby soccer fields to practice instead.

 

:glare::confused::thumbdown::crying:

 

I really hate this drive. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know what God wants me to do. Us to do. Anything.

[6packofun]

I'm sorry that happened. :( I think that holiday seasons are about the worst time to try visiting new churches, really. It's hard, isn't it? We were very drawn to our new church in the beginning. Everyone was and is pretty welcoming to new people, but now that we've been there a year we still don't have close friendships and we can see how things *really* are...not perfect, of course, and we are committed to this church family, but there are some things we hadn't expected or at least couldn't get a feel for in just a month or two.

[ChristusG]

It does sound like sort of a sad moment to visit a church for the first time. But that's what Easter is about. I want my children to know what Jesus did for them. They hear us say that he died for us, he rose again, etc. But I want them to know that Jesus didn't have it easy....he suffered. For us. For them. And sometimes it takes seeing images like that for them to realize what he did. I haven't shown my 6 (almost 7) year old anything from that movie, but this may be the year that I do. She's very mature about things like that.

[OnTheBrink]

I hate stuff like that. It feels emotionally manipulative, like if you can't work up tears for what Jesus endured, then by crackee, we'll MAKE you work up tears over it!

 

And, no, not all churches do that. Mine certainly doesn't.

[justamouse]

:grouphug:

 

I'm Catholic' date=' so we're familiar with the Crucified Jesus from infancy on up, but NEVER would I want scenes from The Passion shown during Mass, or a regular church service. I know churches have shown The Passion in the evening, but all who went knew in advance that they'd be seeing the movie. It's way too graphic for young children. I'd not be able to watch it myself.

 

Don't give up on church though! Actually next Sunday is Palm Sunday - one of my favorites. It doesn't deal with the crucifixion, but is actually a celebration and deals with events leading up to the crucifixion. I'd give the church a call and let them know that your children were upset by the presentation. At the same time, you can ask what they have planned for this coming Sunday and you can see if it's something that would work for your family.

 

:grouphug:[/quote']

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Lisa in Jax]

:grouphug: Ginger, I'm there with you, and I take some small comfort in sharing my misery with someone else. You may remember that we've been driving an hour to L_____g.

 

I'm no help, but I had to comment b/c I grew up 30 minutes south of L_______g. ;)

 

Sorry you're struggling.

 

Lisa

[Carol in Cal.]

That would bother me a great deal, too. The facts of the story are fine for the youngest children, but the detailed visual images not so much. I would have gotten up and left, and I hardly ever do anything like that.

[DesertDweller]

I hate stuff like that. It feels emotionally manipulative, like if you can't work up tears for what Jesus endured, then by crackee, we'll MAKE you work up tears over it!

 

And, no, not all churches do that. Mine certainly doesn't.

 

Agreeing that it feels like a way to manipulate your emotions.

 

I also feel like there is line that can be crossed, even in church, between what is appropriate and what is not. Not everyone takes their children to childrens' church or sunday school.

 

Our church has a wonderful Easter play. A few years ago they showed a video at the end about a boy that was killed. It was a music video and very well done, but it was terribly sad and tragic. I watched in complete fear, as much as I could, knowing deep down what the outcome would be. Before it was over, I got up and walked out of the service. My dd and I discussed it after (she was not sitting with me), and she agreed it was terrible to watch.

 

The next year they showed it again. :confused: Dd and I both walked out as soon as it started. I should have complained and didn't, but I think it was really in poor taste.

[Margo out of lurking]

I'm no help, but I had to comment b/c I grew up 30 minutes south of L_______g.

 

Lisa, just so you know, it's ME, not the church! Ginger and I know each other IRL, thanks to this board, and we are familiar with some of the churches the other's family has tried. We've both had a difficult time fitting in.

[Blueridge]

I hate this too. A few years ago I was in such a great mood on Easter morning remembering how He is risen. Our church played a video set to song with scenes from the Passion. Everyone was crying. I felt deflated and sick. I have chosen not to watch The Passion for various reasons. I like to focus on the end result, not the torture. That's my personal choice but I didn't know what was coming during the service and couldn't remove myself.

 

Exactly. This is why we've usually not gone to church before Easter. We have, for years, had a simple family time on Easter morning at sunrise. We get up near dawn and I fix a fun breakfast of boiled eggs and cinnamon buns and OJ, and we sit outside on our little deck and watch the sun come up. We sing a few songs, dh reads the 'happy' story of Jesus' resurrection, and we are all encouraged and happy. Then they go to look at their easter basket goodies. :) I guess we've just been away from formal settings for too long, and are too sensitive. We would have left, had we not been penned in by someone sitting beside us! Oh, the pictures they showed! And they were left on the screen for at least 45 seconds each...one graphic picture after another. I still can't believe it. I appreciate your sympathies! Kristine...:grouphug::grouphug:

[Lisa in Jax]

Lisa, just so you know, it's ME, not the church! Ginger and I know each other IRL, thanks to this board, and we are familiar with some of the churches the other's family has tried. We've both had a difficult time fitting in.

 

Honestly, I would have assumed it *wasn't* you, based on my experience. Churches in that area of VA put me off church for good. There were lots of cliques, there was lots of gossip, and I met many people who seemed to think that being a good Christian meant only "in her pew on Sunday," w/o much effort to live a good, kind life the other six days of the week. It certainly didn't convince someone like me (who hadn't been raised in that type of church) to want to attend regularly!

 

Lisa

[Slartibartfast]

I would have ushered my children out. IMO that wouldn't be appropriate for little ones.

[Kate CA]

No, not all are doing that. What did you have a problem with? The fact that children were in the room with scenes of the crucifixion?

 

Not everyone feels this movie is a correct depiction of the crucifixion, remotely appropriate for a church service, or for children to view. Frankly, I think the movie is highly inappropriate on many levels and will never watch it again, let alone put it on for my children.

[Cheryl in NM]

I hate this too. A few years ago I was in such a great mood on Easter morning remembering how He is risen. Our church played a video set to song with scenes from the Passion. Everyone was crying. I felt deflated and sick. I have chosen not to watch The Passion for various reasons. I like to focus on the end result, not the torture. That's my personal choice but I didn't know what was coming during the service and couldn't remove myself.

 

We went to a new church on Christmas Eve. They played the song "Mary Did You Know?" while showing scenes from Passion of the Christ. Ds, 11, was kind of shook up. It definitely made an impression on him! I did not think that was appropriate for Christmas.

[LidiyaDawn]

Why would they EVER think that was a good movie to use in a service where children were present?? As far as I'm aware, that's an R-rated movie… if parents CHOOSE to have their kids watch it at whatever ages THEY deem appropriate, that's one thing… but in this scenario, the church made that decision - and it was not theirs to make.

[Teachin'Mine]

I hate this too. A few years ago I was in such a great mood on Easter morning remembering how He is risen. Our church played a video set to song with scenes from the Passion. Everyone was crying. I felt deflated and sick. I have chosen not to watch The Passion for various reasons. I like to focus on the end result, not the torture. That's my personal choice but I didn't know what was coming during the service and couldn't remove myself.

 

How incredibly sad!!! Easter is THE most joyful day in the whole year!!! The bells are ringing, the singing is Alleluia and just pure joy - that's the message of Easter - Christ is risen. Only thing I can imagine is that that church didn't have services during the Holy Week and lumped it all together. It's so not meant to be that way. The time for sadness had passed.

[Oak Knoll Mom]

If you want, you can PM me your location and I can see if I have any church recommendations.

[Crispa]

I hate stuff like that. It feels emotionally manipulative, like if you can't work up tears for what Jesus endured, then by crackee, we'll MAKE you work up tears over it!

 

And, no, not all churches do that. Mine certainly doesn't.

 

I'm with you there. Also, I don't see the need to show children images of brutality or torture or blood or agony, in order to illustrate God's infinite love and mercy, before they're emotionally or intellectually ready. Which might come at a different age for each child. It feels almost indecent to me.

 

I'd have been upset, too, not only on principle, but knowing I'd be up countless nights now calming nightmares about Jesus. :(

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I'm sorry that happened. Not all churches are like that.

 

Please do keep trying to find a church. There is a church home for you somewhere.

[BigMamaBird]

Our old church did this. They got all freaky about a girl in a tankini, but showing a man getting the skin flayed off his back when children were present was fine. :glare:

 

Notice, I said our old church.

[Carol in Cal.]

We went to a new church on Christmas Eve. They played the song "Mary Did You Know?" while showing scenes from Passion of the Christ. Ds, 11, was kind of shook up. It definitely made an impression on him! I did not think that was appropriate for Christmas.

 

That's horrible!

[ktgrok]

Wow, the only time I've really been kind of thrown by a service being SAD was on Good Friday, at an evening service, and it was very appropriate, but not gruesome or detailed, and no images.

 

so sorry!

[petepie2]

We're trying so hard to find a place that feels happy and welcoming. We're lonely! We want to belong! We've home churched in the past, and it's been many years since we were members of a larger church. Well, Easter is coming up, and their whole service revolved around the Lord's supper. In the middle of the service, a lady started singing an extremely sad song (one of many) and they started a slide show of dozens of shots from that graphic movie The Passion of the Christ. OH MY GOODNESS. My poor children were about to weep, covering their eyes, sighing, struggling. I cannot believe this congregation thought this would be acceptable. I am still about to cry. This was a Baptist church. Are all churches doing things like this during the Easter season? We'll lay low for a while before visiting any more churches, I think.

 

Oh my word. I am so sorry you had this experience. I personally would have walked out with my children. I (much less my children) have never even seen The Passion of Christ and probably never will for two reasons. First of all, the Holy Spirit obviously found it sufficient to simply say "and they crucified Him". I don't need a full blown visual of someone's interpretation of the event....for any reason. (I do think it's emotionally manipulative.) Secondly, I don't care to see James Caviezel's face in my mind every time I think of Jesus.

 

I hope you do find a good church home in the near future....:grouphug:

[....]

We're trying so hard to find a place that feels happy and welcoming. We're lonely! We want to belong! We've home churched in the past, and it's been many years since we were members of a larger church. Well, Easter is coming up, and their whole service revolved around the Lord's supper. In the middle of the service, a lady started singing an extremely sad song (one of many) and they started a slide show of dozens of shots from that graphic movie The Passion of the Christ. OH MY GOODNESS. My poor children were about to weep, covering their eyes, sighing, struggling. I cannot believe this congregation thought this would be acceptable. I am still about to cry. This was a Baptist church. Are all churches doing things like this during the Easter season? We'll lay low for a while before visiting any more churches, I think.

 

I think that was inappropriate for a Worship Service. No, not all churches are like that. We don't even have a movie screen in our sanctuary. We're very 14th century. :tongue_smilie:

 

I probably would have taken my kids out. I doubt Jesus wants them to be scared or have violent death images in their minds. That movie was violent, even for an adult to watch.

 

Sorry that happened to you. Don't give up on your search.

[Hedgehog]

I couldn't go to a church that showed such videos during services. I don't need images on screens like that - my imagination is quite vivid enough on its own.

[Chris in VA]

Just want to let you know that, in the Episcopal Church, Palm Sunday is a mix of happy and sad--The liturgy starts with the palms, the procession, all positive and lovely and happy, and tralala--but Jesus knew he was going to Jerusalem with the possibility of the cross.

The second part of the service has the Passion of Jesus Christ in narrative form, often acted out.

 

So, don't expect every church to be AS dramatic (that was inappropriate, for sure), but there might be some. For those who can't make it to Holy Week, it provides a contracted experience of the why behind Easter.

[mrs.m]

Did the church offer a children's program? Many churches these days are looking at the main service as being for adults and the children's program to be geared to children. We are a rare breed in that we are used to having our children with us rather than sending them off with the other children.

 

If they didn't offer a children's program and showed something like that, that is totally inappropriate and I would be sending an email! My church would put signs on the door and ask the greeters to redirect if they were discussing a topic that could be disturbing to children requesting that parents try the child care. They also gave warning the week before in the service. So, yes, my church has shown scenes from this movie at this time of year but usually during midweek services when we have less visitors. I opted out of sitting through it when I was pregnant because I get overally emotional.