Help! Help! Help!!!

[simka2]

Dd almost 10 just walked in and said, "Ummmm, I've been waiting for this mom, but what do I say?"

Me: about what?

dd: Lawerance (the boy across the street) just asked me if I would be his girlfriend.

Me: :willy_nilly::eek:

dd: Mooooooom! What do I say? Can I?

Me: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm do you want to?

Dd: I don't know (with a little giggle and hair brushed behind her ear)

Me: Well......No sweetie you can't be his "girlfriend." But, you can like him (ya real profound!!!!)

What are you going to tell him?

dd: I don't know.

Me: Well, you can tell him you like him, but your mom and dad say no boyfriends. Or, you can just go back out and pretend it didn't happen.

Dd: What are you doing?

Me: Making soup. :svengo:

 

I wasn't ready for that!!!!!! How do you handle it?

Edited February 16, 2011 by simka2

[Parrothead]

Just as you did - "you are too young for boyfriends right now. When you are ready to get married we will talk about it again."

[MariannNOVA]

Just as you did - "you are too young for boyfriends right now. When you are ready to get married we will talk about it again."

 

:iagree:....and I'd look up 'Convents' in the yellow pages.;)

[Parrothead]

:iagree:....and I'd look up 'Convents' in the yellow pages.;)

Simka, if you are interested in convents just call your local diocese office. They will give you all the information you ever want on vocations.

[Remudamom]

Distract her! Distract her! Buy another horse!

[Rosie_0801]

Well, I don't think pretending it didn't happen is very nice to the poor boy! Maybe you should look up boot camps in monastery locations and order pamphlets for his parents though?

 

Rosie- glad Zorro is fictional.

[simka2]

:iagree:....and I'd look up 'Convents' in the yellow pages.;)

 

:lol: This is what I am thinking!!!! She got asked out on date when she was 8 in the ps, (which had me rolling on the floor and dh asking if she was gonna ride on the back of his bike!) This, is just a kid I have to look at, and I thought he was her brothers friend :tongue_smilie:

[Peela]

It seems to be something school kids get into at a very young age and generally it doesn't mean much.

I know my own dd wasnt interested at all at that age and when a boy from down the road fell in love with her and tried to kiss her (he was besotted- they were both 11) she kneed him in the thigh, really hard. No messing with my girl. So actually i didnt have to deal with the issue at that age.

I think its worth thinking what your overall approach will be. Mine is to allow it to unfold naturally and not interfere if at all possible. That has worked for us but YMMV.

[FaithManor]

"Distract her! Distract her! Buy another horse!" SNORT!!!!!!

 

Remudamom, maybe if my parents had done this for me when I was in college, I wouldn't be hiding from three boys and contemplating what outfit to wear to jail!

 

Of course, dh walked in just now wearing his new suit from MelanieM and he looks so good, he could almost pass for a really nice Arabian Stallion. Almost.....

 

Faith

[simka2]

I think you struck just the right note. The best we can hope for is to keep our cool when things like that happen.

 

The poor boy, that took a lot of courage.

Yes, it did! Part of me almost felt bad saying "no" because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. :001_smile:

 

Well, I don't think pretending it didn't happen is very nice to the poor boy! Maybe you should look up boot camps in monastery locations and order pamphlets for his parents though?

 

Rosie- glad Zorro is fictional.

 

Probably not, but I was hoping they could just go back to playing tag, and maybe it would all disappear :D.

 

What does she think it means to be boy/girl-friend?

It's a really good time to get the conversation going.

 

My mom was always typing on some newsletter or other when I brought home this kind of stuff. She always kept her cool, kept typing, asked me questions. I felt like I could talk because she wasn't freaking OUT.

 

Turns out, this is what she was typing: asdfojpaswkefjvijas df aoshje aosefh 0398haosfjxs;a dfj aoije fewa what are you thinking????????????????????????????/paseoijt etu0apwetj aoijeaoweodssla;skjdf fjasldjf.

 

I was stirring the soup, and just couldn't get my thoughts to connect (at least that's how it felt). She was just so cute with her giggles and questions...and I was just glad she was talking to me!

[simka2]

Distract her! Distract her! Buy another horse!

 

Hah! I told this to Dh, he said, "No!!! She's got 2, it's not working!!!!"

[Kathleen in VA]

What does she think it means to be boy/girl-friend?

It's a really good time to get the conversation going.

 

My mom was always typing on some newsletter or other when I brought home this kind of stuff. She always kept her cool, kept typing, asked me questions. I felt like I could talk because she wasn't freaking OUT.

 

Turns out, this is what she was typing: asdfojpaswkefjvijas df aoshje aosefh 0398haosfjxs;a dfj aoije fewa what are you thinking????????????????????????????/paseoijt etu0apwetj aoijeaoweodssla;skjdf fjasldjf.

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[simka2]

It seems to be something school kids get into at a very young age and generally it doesn't mean much.

I know my own dd wasnt interested at all at that age and when a boy from down the road fell in love with her and tried to kiss her (he was besotted- they were both 11) she kneed him in the thigh, really hard. No messing with my girl. So actually i didnt have to deal with the issue at that age.

I think its worth thinking what your overall approach will be. Mine is to allow it to unfold naturally and not interfere if at all possible. That has worked for us but YMMV.

This is what I was hoping for!!! and she's a major tomboy so that's what I keep thinking is going to happen. Then it's all giggles and grins :001_huh:!!!

 

Ugggghhh...I thought having twin brothers a year younger would make her not like boys for a very long time.

[Rosie_0801]

Probably not, but I was hoping they could just go back to playing tag, and maybe it would all disappear :D.

 

A little girlie did this to my brother, so it's an issue close to my heart. If he had informed his big sisters of his intentions, he may have had better luck. We would have made sure the note was written on nice paper, rather than a dirty old envelope! :lol:

 

I'm just wondering for the future (and hoping my kids are late starters like their parents were!) Does a little suitor appear less attractive if their mother refers to them as cute kids or something nauseating like that?

 

Rosie- in awe of the brilliance of Patty Joanna's mother :lol:

[mom4him]

Distract her! Distract her! Buy another horse!

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Beach Mom]

I wasn't ready for that!!!!!! How do you handle it?

 

With a glass of wine, or some Bailey's added to my coffee, and by restraining DH from anyone who thought they were good enough for his little girl!!!:lol:

 

Seriously, it sounds like a you did a good job. Be so grateful she is coming to you and talking, at this age that is at least half the battle and says so much about how she trusts you. When this hit our house we used is as a stepping off point to keep the discussion about boys and relationships open.

 

There are 7th and 8th graders in the neighborhood in very serious relationships and that is not what we want for DD.

 

It's moments like this that make parenting such a fun rollercoaster!

[simka2]

A little girlie did this to my brother, so it's an issue close to my heart. If he had informed his big sisters of his intentions, he may have had better luck. We would have made sure the note was written on nice paper, rather than a dirty old envelope! :lol:

 

I'm just wondering for the future (and hoping my kids are late starters like their parents were!) Does a little suitor appear less attractive if their mother refers to them as cute kids or something nauseating like that?

 

Rosie- in awe of the brilliance of Patty Joanna's mother :lol:

 

She told him she liked him, but she couldn't be his girlfriend. I think her brothers are mad :glare: because dd and Lawerance are walking around talking, and he's not playing with them.

 

Uuuuuughhhh....I didn't expect to feel so powerless. She's doing nothing wrong, just walking and talking...but I want to lock her in her bedroom!!!!!!

[simka2]

With a glass of wine, or some Bailey's added to my coffee, and by restraining DH from anyone who thought they were good enough for his little girl!!!:lol:

 

Seriously, it sounds like a you did a good job. Be so grateful she is coming to you and talking, at this age that is at least half the battle and says so much about how she trusts you. When this hit our house we used is as a stepping off point to keep the discussion about boys and relationships open.

 

There are 7th and 8th graders in the neighborhood in very serious relationships and that is not what we want for DD.

 

It's moments like this that make parenting such a fun rollercoaster!

Yes!!! Who cares if dh is at a buisness mtg. I'm having a glass by myself.

 

Funny story: when she was asked on date as a 8yr old, Dh said, "So, NOW can I get a gun?" To which I said, "Are you gonna shoot an 8yr old." Dh: "No, just scare him." :D

[FaithManor]

OOoohhhh wait I know the answer to this one...dd (then 16) was talking to a very nice teen boy in Barnes and Nobles. Dh figured out that the boy was flirting with her, went out to the car and got his fluorescent orange hunting jacket (why he owns this, I do not know... the man does not hunt), put it on, ran his fingers through his hair so that it stood up on end, pulled his jeans down until they sagged, and then marched up to her and said, "You be done yet. I gots to get me to Dick's Sportin' Goods right quick so as I can buy another gun!"

 

The boy looked mortified and left.

 

DD almost didn't forgive him.

 

Faith

[simka2]

OOoohhhh wait I know the answer to this one...dd (then 16) was talking to a very nice teen boy in Barnes and Nobles. Dh figured out that the boy was flirting with her, went out to the car and got his fluorescent orange hunting jacket (why he owns this, I do not know... the man does not hunt), put it on, ran his fingers through his hair so that it stood up on end, pulled his jeans down until they sagged, and then marched up to her and said, "You be done yet. I gots to get me to Dick's Sportin' Goods right quick so as I can buy another gun!"

 

The boy looked mortified and left.

 

DD almost didn't forgive him.

 

Faith

 

 

:smilielol5::thumbup: Awesome!!!!! Way to go Dad!

[MariannNOVA]

What does she think it means to be boy/girl-friend?

It's a really good time to get the conversation going.

 

My mom was always typing on some newsletter or other when I brought home this kind of stuff. She always kept her cool, kept typing, asked me questions. I felt like I could talk because she wasn't freaking OUT.

 

Turns out, this is what she was typing: asdfojpaswkefjvijas df aoshje aosefh 0398haosfjxs;a dfj aoije fewa what are you thinking????????????????????????????/paseoijt etu0apwetj aoijeaoweodssla;skjdf fjasldjf.

 

I love this!:lol::lol::lol:

 

I can do THAT!

[Kathleen in VA]

OOoohhhh wait I know the answer to this one...dd (then 16) was talking to a very nice teen boy in Barnes and Nobles. Dh figured out that the boy was flirting with her, went out to the car and got his fluorescent orange hunting jacket (why he owns this, I do not know... the man does not hunt), put it on, ran his fingers through his hair so that it stood up on end, pulled his jeans down until they sagged, and then marched up to her and said, "You be done yet. I gots to get me to Dick's Sportin' Goods right quick so as I can buy another gun!"

 

The boy looked mortified and left.

 

DD almost didn't forgive him.

 

Faith

 

:lol::lol::lol:I think I know why he's got that orange vest stowed in the car. Brilliant!!

[Susan in TN]

"That's neat, honey. Now go tell him that he needs to write a formal letter requesting an interview with us."

[v-girl]

Good reaction! :D

 

I'm never letting my daughters out of the house without me other then for them to go to dance class. The only boys in their classes are either the owners' son, or their friends' brothers. I'm good enough friends with their moms that I think we're safe.;)

[simka2]

Good reaction! :D

 

I'm never letting my daughters out of the house without me other then for them to go to dance class. The only boys in their classes are either the owners' son, or their friends' brothers. I'm good enough friends with their moms that I think we're safe.;)

 

Uummmm, that's what I thought!!! This was her brother's friend :glare:. No where is safe, better just to lock them up!!!! :D JK.

[Dobela]

OOoohhhh wait I know the answer to this one...dd (then 16) was talking to a very nice teen boy in Barnes and Nobles. Dh figured out that the boy was flirting with her, went out to the car and got his fluorescent orange hunting jacket (why he owns this, I do not know... the man does not hunt), put it on, ran his fingers through his hair so that it stood up on end, pulled his jeans down until they sagged, and then marched up to her and said, "You be done yet. I gots to get me to Dick's Sportin' Goods right quick so as I can buy another gun!"

 

The boy looked mortified and left.

 

DD almost didn't forgive him.

 

Faith

:lol::lol::lol:

 

OP, be careful... I told my son the same thing. No girlfriends until 19 - when he would be able to support himself and her in case they wanted to marry. It didn't work. He just took that to mean that HE couldn't ask her so when the girl he had eyes on asked him, well, he agreed and then didn't share with me because he was afraid he would be in trouble.

[Lara in Colo]

Since she obviously doesn't know exactly what this relationship entails.... Now is a good time to teach her!!

 

Boyfriends talk nice to you.

Boyfriends play monopoly in the living room with parents.

Boyfriends help rake leaves.

Boyfriends play tag

fill in your own blanks......

 

let her have a boyfriend...this is an easy way to introduce your standards in a short term relationship. They usually break up in a week or so anyway!

 

Lara

[Gooblink]

OOoohhhh wait I know the answer to this one...dd (then 16) was talking to a very nice teen boy in Barnes and Nobles. Dh figured out that the boy was flirting with her, went out to the car and got his fluorescent orange hunting jacket (why he owns this, I do not know... the man does not hunt), put it on, ran his fingers through his hair so that it stood up on end, pulled his jeans down until they sagged, and then marched up to her and said, "You be done yet. I gots to get me to Dick's Sportin' Goods right quick so as I can buy another gun!"

 

The boy looked mortified and left.

 

DD almost didn't forgive him.

 

Faith

 

Love it! Reminds me of the movie "Clueless," when her dad says to the boy, "I've got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anyone will miss you."

 

I'm afraid I can't offer any advice, I only have 2 boys who still think girls are lame. :tongue_smilie:

[simka2]

Since she obviously doesn't know exactly what this relationship entails.... Now is a good time to teach her!!

 

Boyfriends talk nice to you.

Boyfriends play monopoly in the living room with parents.

Boyfriends help rake leaves.

Boyfriends play tag

fill in your own blanks......

 

let her have a boyfriend...this is an easy way to introduce your standards in a short term relationship. They usually break up in a week or so anyway!

 

Lara

 

I was actually thinking about this at dinner. Her littlest brother said, "Lawrence wasn't nice to me." and I said to dd, "Sweeti, I think you should inform Lawrence to be nice to your little brother, use your influence ;)."

[indigomama]

DH was very worried about this when we had DD (woh is only 11months!). A friend told him not to worry, repeat after me "Son, I just want you to know, I've got a gun and I'm not afraid to go back to prison." He's never been in btw:) But DH now has the line memorized.:001_smile:

[LisaKinVA]

All I can say is... better you than me:leaving::lol:

 

On a serious note, I think you handled it very well. I say this as a concerned mother of three girls. My oldest is just a year younger, and I am so glad that her Sunday School starts separating girls and boys in 5th grade.

 

My father commented just today, that our home was going to be encircled with boys... my girls were just "so beautiful." I mentioned the comment to one of my girls' Pioneer Girls leaders... and she completely agreed. :svengo:

 

I only hope I can handle the situations that are bound to arise as gracefully (and as calmly) as you did.

[RayDad]

Distract her! Distract her! Buy another horse!

 

I will remember this one

[Joker]

This thread reminded me of the day a boy from school showed up unexpectedly to ask me to a sports banquet. My dad came home in the middle of the conversation. My dad had spent the morning castrating calves and he didn't look so good.:D I never heard from the boy again. I still think he planned it.:tongue_smilie:

[Alenee]

 

Turns out, this is what she was typing: asdfojpaswkefjvijas df aoshje aosefh 0398haosfjxs;a dfj aoije fewa what are you thinking????????????????????????????/paseoijt etu0apwetj aoijeaoweodssla;skjdf fjasldjf.

 

:lol::lol::lol: LOVE IT!!!

[gardening momma]

Dd almost 10 just walked in and said, "Ummmm, I've been waiting for this mom, but what do I say?"

Me: about what?

dd: Lawerance (the boy across the street) just asked me if I would be his girlfriend.

Me: :willy_nilly::eek:

dd: Mooooooom! What do I say? Can I?

Me: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm do you want to?

Dd: I don't know (with a little giggle and hair brushed behind her ear)

Me: Well......No sweetie you can't be his "girlfriend." But, you can like him (ya real profound!!!!)

What are you going to tell him?

dd: I don't know.

Me: Well, you can tell him you like him, but your mom and dad say no boyfriends. Or, you can just go back out and pretend it didn't happen.

Dd: What are you doing?

Me: Making soup. :svengo:

 

I wasn't ready for that!!!!!! How do you handle it?

I would also say she's too young for boyfriends, but I wouldn't ask if she wanted to. ;)

[lovemyboys]

Just as you did - "you are too young for boyfriends right now. When you are ready to get married we will talk about it again."

 

Good answer. :001_smile:

[Melissa in CA]

What does she think it means to be boy/girl-friend?

It's a really good time to get the conversation going.

 

My mom was always typing on some newsletter or other when I brought home this kind of stuff. She always kept her cool, kept typing, asked me questions. I felt like I could talk because she wasn't freaking OUT.

 

Turns out, this is what she was typing: asdfojpaswkefjvijas df aoshje aosefh 0398haosfjxs;a dfj aoije fewa what are you thinking????????????????????????????/paseoijt etu0apwetj aoijeaoweodssla;skjdf fjasldjf.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[simka2]

Thanks all! I appreciate all the great humor. Her dh came home last and looked a bit lost :001_huh:. He comes from a family of all boys, so this type of stuff is a bit foreign.