Update: My "Dance Rant" Thread...

[at the beach]

For a few reasons, I hesitated to post this on a public forum but then thought, what the heck? So, here goes.

 

First, I am not sure how to post a link to the old thread or I would do that. In sum, my question back then was about my child's grueling schedule (about 15 hours a week) and her desire to do more ballet than what she could do at her current studio. I got lots of great advice in that thread, and I am very grateful for that. I think I posted that thread in October.

 

Now, here's the update: My daughter and I decided to broach her studio about her desire to study ballet more exclusively as opposed to focusing so heavily on competition and other dance forms (hip-hop, tap, jazz, modern, etc.). Well, that conversation didn't go so well. They advised my daughter, who is in 8th grade and turned 14 this fall, that she needed to do at least a 90-minute ballet class at home on her own in addition to all she's doing at the studio if she's serious about ballet. I thought this was rather suspect. They were also seemingly bothered by the fact that we were somehow implying that they weren't a ballet school. They aren't. The most she can take there is two classes. The other conflict with the two she takes. They were concerned that all their praise of my daughter had possibly "gone to her head" if she was thinking they couldn't give her what she needed right there. They told me they had invested a lot in my child. :001_huh: Believe me, my wallet is feeling the pain so I think I have invested a lot myself. LOL. We also mentioned to them that a relative of ours knew a ballet teacher who had a well-known ballet program that had a summer intensive and that this ballet teacher had offered to speak to them about my child studying ballet more intensively. They wouldn't even listen to me on that--they said something along the lines of who is that? I saw this woman's name come up on Ballet Talk so I know that she is a reputable teacher who has trained numerous ballet dancers. They also told me how awful the ballet world is--eating disorders, that my child would have to be 15 pounds thinner than she is now--my child weighs about 115 at 5'6". I would never want her being told she had to be thinner because I think she's already on the almost too thin side. They said my child is pretty much too tall, and they talked about mean and nasty ballet teachers, etc. Then, they told me that if she was doing her ballet class at home for the rest of the year, we could talk again about more ballet at the end of the year. They said my child still has some "quirks" that they aren't sure are something she is still going to grow out of or what.

 

Oh, and my daughter asked about the local summer intensive at the only pre-pro school around here. They really were not flattering about it to my child. When they spoke with me, they toned down their comments about the teacher somewhat.

 

After all of the above was told to us, my child said to me she probably doesn't want to do ballet professionally anyway but she still loves it. All it took was them telling her to do a 90 minute class at home every day on top of everything else on her plate and that just completely dejected her. I knew there was no way she'd do that. They knew, too, I am sure. She's a hard worker and dedicated, but there was just something about that suggestion that really didn't sit right.

 

Anyway, I think I know that these folks really don't have my girl's best interests at heart. I think I know what we are going to do for next year--go back to a place she was at a few years ago and possibly just add in a summer intensive if we can afford it at some point. But I just wondered if any of you dance moms had any thoughts re: how they handled this, and what I should say to them, if anything. I certainly agree that ballet may be a not so good a thing to pursue. I really do. I admit I was actually relieved when she said she was not so sure about her ballet desires anymore. I also felt a bit guilty because I felt her teachers were trying to just get her to quickly let go of the ballet ideas, and I don't think she got that because she really trusted them.

 

Comments re: this? :bigear:

[Wheres Toto]

I don't think they handled it properly at all. It sounds to me like they were worried about losing a student and worked very hard about talking her out of it and scaring her away from ever considering it again.

 

We have been at competitive studios for 13 years. They always encouraged the girls to do any extra ballet they could/were interested in at the pre-professional companies in the area. Many of the best dancers often took classes or summer intensives. In general, a competition studio is not going to be able to be a strong ballet studio. There just isn't enough time in the day/week to learn and practice choreography for 3-5 different types of dance, work on technique for those types of dance and put the time in to doing ballet and pointe.

 

When they talked about her practicing at home, I assume they just meant for her to do some basic exercises for flexibility and strength? I hope that teachers wouldn't recommend a student try to practice pointe or any moves where they should have close monitoring, a proper suspended dance floor and proper barre - to avoid incorrect technique and possible injury.

 

Sounds to me like you are making the right decision.

[at the beach]

When they talked about her practicing at home, I assume they just meant for her to do some basic exercises for flexibility and strength? I hope that teachers wouldn't recommend a student try to practice pointe or any moves where they should have close monitoring, a proper suspended dance floor and proper barre - to avoid incorrect technique and possible injury.

 

Sounds to me like you are making the right decision.

 

Oh, no, they were talking about her doing a full ballet class at home. :confused1: She quickly knew she couldn't manage this. She had no idea how she was supposed to do the stuff that's done on the floor as opposed to the barre. Your comment on this really makes this all hit home for me. Thank you.

[Matryoshka]

Oh, no, they were talking about her doing a full ballet class at home. :confused1: She quickly knew she couldn't manage this. She had no idea how she was supposed to do the stuff that's done on the floor as opposed to the barre. Your comment on this really makes this all hit home for me. Thank you.

 

:confused: You mean a teacher would come to your home?? You can't do a ballet "class" by yourself at home. As the pp said, do you have a dance floor, barre and mirrors? Even with those, it's so easy not to get proper alignment without someone trained watching you. You could really injure yourself.

 

My dd goes to a ballet school. She's actually taking a break from ballet and just taking modern because the poor girl's feet really aren't good ballet feet and she was getting tendonitis from pointe. But her school requires to have three classes a week in just ballet by the time they're on pointe.

 

If she's interested in ballet, I'd have her try the summer intensive. That would be an relatively easy way to have her assess her current skill level and level of interest. I'd talk with the people there about your dd's interest and have them give you some honest feedback.

 

Honestly, with that school's attitude I'd be running not walking in the other direction at any rate (they strike me as manipulative, dishonest, and in it for the money), but I guess that would depend on how much your dd loves the other forms of dance and the competitions.

[Remudamom]

Gah! All I know is that my niece finally quit after years because in order to advance she was going to have to go to Europe and it was just too much.

 

Your school sounds kinda........not nice.

[Murmer]

For a few reasons, I hesitated to post this on a public forum but then thought, what the heck? So, here goes.

 

First, I am not sure how to post a link to the old thread or I would do that. In sum, my question back then was about my child's grueling schedule (about 15 hours a week) and her desire to do more ballet than what she could do at her current studio. I got lots of great advice in that thread, and I am very grateful for that. I think I posted that thread in October.

 

Now, here's the update: My daughter and I decided to broach her studio about her desire to study ballet more exclusively as opposed to focusing so heavily on competition and other dance forms (hip-hop, tap, jazz, modern, etc.). Well, that conversation didn't go so well. They advised my daughter, who is in 8th grade and turned 14 this fall, that she needed to do at least a 90-minute ballet class at home on her own in addition to all she's doing at the studio if she's serious about ballet. I thought this was rather suspect. They were also seemingly bothered by the fact that we were somehow implying that they weren't a ballet school. They aren't. The most she can take there is two classes. The other conflict with the two she takes. They were concerned that all their praise of my daughter had possibly "gone to her head" if she was thinking they couldn't give her what she needed right there. They told me they had invested a lot in my child. :001_huh: Believe me, my wallet is feeling the pain so I think I have invested a lot myself. LOL. We also mentioned to them that a relative of ours knew a ballet teacher who had a well-known ballet program that had a summer intensive and that this ballet teacher had offered to speak to them about my child studying ballet more intensively. They wouldn't even listen to me on that--they said something along the lines of who is that? I saw this woman's name come up on Ballet Talk so I know that she is a reputable teacher who has trained numerous ballet dancers. They also told me how awful the ballet world is--eating disorders, that my child would have to be 15 pounds thinner than she is now--my child weighs about 115 at 5'6". I would never want her being told she had to be thinner because I think she's already on the almost too thin side. They said my child is pretty much too tall, and they talked about mean and nasty ballet teachers, etc. Then, they told me that if she was doing her ballet class at home for the rest of the year, we could talk again about more ballet at the end of the year. They said my child still has some "quirks" that they aren't sure are something she is still going to grow out of or what.

 

Oh, and my daughter asked about the local summer intensive at the only pre-pro school around here. They really were not flattering about it to my child. When they spoke with me, they toned down their comments about the teacher somewhat.

 

After all of the above was told to us, my child said to me she probably doesn't want to do ballet professionally anyway but she still loves it. All it took was them telling her to do a 90 minute class at home every day on top of everything else on her plate and that just completely dejected her. I knew there was no way she'd do that. They knew, too, I am sure. She's a hard worker and dedicated, but there was just something about that suggestion that really didn't sit right.

 

Anyway, I think I know that these folks really don't have my girl's best interests at heart. I think I know what we are going to do for next year--go back to a place she was at a few years ago and possibly just add in a summer intensive if we can afford it at some point. But I just wondered if any of you dance moms had any thoughts re: how they handled this, and what I should say to them, if anything. I certainly agree that ballet may be a not so good a thing to pursue. I really do. I admit I was actually relieved when she said she was not so sure about her ballet desires anymore. I also felt a bit guilty because I felt her teachers were trying to just get her to quickly let go of the ballet ideas, and I don't think she got that because she really trusted them.

 

Comments re: this? :bigear:

 

The ballet world is rough and I heard many many times that I needed to lose more weight or I would not get to be part of the show/company/whatever at that time. I was the thinnest I had ever been since puberty and basically they were asking a lot but I was adult enough to realize that it was insane so I just continued taking care of myself and eating right. That said if you do go the ballet route you need to monitor your child and make sure that they are being healthy. But a good teacher and studio would be supportive and not pushing and really push health.

As for too tall she is nowhere near too tall. 5'5 is the minimuim height they will look for dancers for most companies (I was always too short) so 5'6 is nothing now if she was 6 ft then she might have problems but not her current height.

There are mean, nasty teachers but they are not the norm. Ballet teachers expect A LOT. But I always knew that my teachers were "picking on me" because they wanted me to be better. Any class where I was not corrected a few time made me feel like I was doing awful because correction meant improvement.

If you daughter wants to do ballet give her the chance, do the summer intensive and find a studio that is primarily ballet. Many combo dance studios can't offer the ballet that is really needed for professional level dancing.

Good luck with your daughter.

[PiCO]

I think your studio is being rude, manipulative, and unsafe. Your daughter does not need to try to be a professional ballerina, she just wants to focus on ballet. Get her out of that studio ASAP.

 

There is a competitive studio in my area like this. They are always putting down the other 4 studios in town. Sometimes they tell people new to town that there are no other studios in town. I think it's just bad business.

[abbeyej]

Is there a reason she can't go to the pre-pro school?

 

They way they behaved, the things they said, the MISLEADING information they gave you... I'd want to look elsewhere asap.

 

There is NO reason that your daughter can't study ballet seriously. So maybe she won't be a professional ballerina. Who cares?!? She's not *likely* to be a professional dancer anyway, just based on the sheer numbers of young women who dance. That doesn't mean she shouldn't have the chance to get the highest caliber of training along the way. (And while there are assuredly high-pressure ballet schools around, they are by no means all what was described to you. Your daughter's body would fit in well among the other pre-pro girls at the school where my children study. There's a former professional ballerina / current nutritionist on staff, and if there's a "push" anywhere, it's toward thin-but-strong-and-well-nourished dancers.)

 

I agree with PiCO, these people sound manipulative and dangerous.

[Mejane]

Couple of things stand out to me. First, the ballet world is awful, but I doubt it's any moreso than any other extremely competitive field. I think you said your dd is dancing 15 hours per week? That is not excessive, imo, for a serious pre-professional student of her age. My 17yo dd and 15yo ds dance between 24 and 30 hours per week. Theirs is a dedicated ballet school, however, and I think that may be where your real problem lies. It sounds like the folks you're dealing with want to promote their school.

 

If I felt my child was serious about ballet and had potential, I would look for a dedicated ballet school. You may have to commute. We used to drive an hour each way. It got to be a drag, so we just ended up moving closer. Both of my kids have done extremely well at their school, so it was a good decision for us. Good luck sorting it out.

[DianeW88]

My dd is an apprentice in our city's ballet company and is majoring in ballet at a university with a full scholarship. Just telling you that for background. :D

 

Here's my suggestion: Get her out of that studio and into one where they will focus on ballet. I have never heard such ridiculous advice. Give yourself class at home? Are they kidding? Even the professionals take class at their company studios each day. As a student, she wouldn't be able to correct herself or improve at home. She'd be setting herself up for bad form at best, serious injury at worst.

 

Definitely look into a summer program. They really are invaluable for your dd if she is serious about ballet. Just be sure to get her into a decent one. She should go to all the major auditions of companies offering summer programs that come to your area. Even if she has no intention of attending, the audition is a fabulous experience. They are usually only $25- $30 per audition. I looked at it as a master class if my dd wasn't necessarily interested in that particular summer program.

 

My dd has attended many summer programs out of state since she was 14....from PNB in Washington, to SAB in NYC. Her favorite one? Kaatbaan in upstate New York. It is run by Martine Van Hamel and Kevin McKenzie and it was amazing!! She loved every minute of it. I highly recommend it! http://www.kaatsbaan.org/extreme.html

 

If your dd is serious about ballet, she will need to take a ballet class every day. My dd was in a pre-professional program from 11:30 AM to 6:00 PM, Monday-Friday. If you don't have that kind of opportunity in your area, find a studio who's sole focus is classical ballet and have her attend. At least one class each day...preferably more (like pointe, character, Pilates, etc.).

 

The ballet world is also changing. Gone are the days of the lollipop head Balanchine ballerina. Even at NYCB, the dancers look much healthier than they have in the past. And, at 5'6"...your dd is the perfect height. A whole lot of male dancers are short, and if she's too tall, she won't be able to partner with very many guys. Different companies have different height requirements, but 5' 6" is a great height.

 

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble. My main advice would be to get her OUT of that studio. From what you've stated....they don't know what they're doing. That is not only irresponsible...it's dangerous. Injuries are much more prevalent as dancers get older (ask me how much money I've paid to PT's and massage therapists :glare:), and you need well trained teachers to work with your child. My dd's studio had a PT on staff for the kids as well as a nutritionist. If you had an eating disorder, you were kicked out of the program. I think most reputable ballet studios are very vigilant nowadays when it comes to this sort of thing. Yes, you have to be thin...but NOT anorexic.

 

HTH I know there are other dance moms on here who can answer questions as well. Just ask away!

Edited February 13, 2011 by DianeW88

[abbeyej]

Oh, no, they were talking about her doing a full ballet class at home. :confused1: She quickly knew she couldn't manage this. She had no idea how she was supposed to do the stuff that's done on the floor as opposed to the barre. Your comment on this really makes this all hit home for me. Thank you.

 

Yeah, that's just wrong and dangerous.

 

Some stretching, strength, flexibility, conditioning stuff at home is fine.

 

But it's no just *discouraging* but *dangerous* to have a young dancer practicing ballet for that amount of time without the guidance of a skilled teacher.

[elfgivas]

sigh....

 

you just encountered part of the "the ballet world can be awful"....

 

fwiw, dd 12 dances 10 hours a week.

 

she does strengthening and stretching at home daily.

her dance studio offers all forms of dance.

 

she wanted more ballet. she found another studio with a teacher she wanted to study with. she spoke to the head of her home studio who said "by all means. she's an excellent teacher". so she takes two classes at the new studio, and all the others at her home studio.

 

a professional who is confident in their own skill can focus more on the students and what it will take to help them become the best dancers they can be.

 

:grouphug:

ann

[justasque]

For background, my dd and I both dance. We have danced at a pre-professional ballet-only studio, and at a (nice, supportive) combo/competition studio. Dance is a lifetime sport, and whether a professional career is a goal or not, if you are serious about dance there is no reason not to seek out the best instruction you can find in your area. You are not getting that at your studio.

 

The studio is right that your dd needs to do more ballet if she is serious about it - but if they can't offer that, they should be up-front about it, and help her figure out how to reach her goals. She should absolutely not be trying to create a class at home on her own. I can't even begin to explain how inappropriate this suggestion was. Some studios are open to arrangements where a student takes class at more than one studio; clearly this one is not, and frankly after what you've described I would find another place to dance.

 

Our combo studio is very frank with students and parents about what they are, and what they are not. If a student is serious about ballet, they do what they can and then refer to a pre-pro studio. They encourage students to take intensives at other schools, and to take advantage of other opportunities, such as master classes and/or conventions. If your school is not doing this, and in fact is discouraging this, I would question why.

 

Take a look at other schools in your area. Explain your situation. See if your daughter can take a class at one or two.

 

I certainly agree that ballet may be a not so good a thing to pursue. I really do. I admit I was actually relieved when she said she was not so sure about her ballet desires anymore. I also felt a bit guilty because I felt her teachers were trying to just get her to quickly let go of the ballet ideas, and I don't think she got that because she really trusted them.

Comments re: this? :bigear:

 

Again - ballet is a lifetime sport. I have taken class with women in their teens through their 70's. In the long run, it's better to have good, quality instruction at a school where both teacher and students take it very seriously, even if you're not planning a career in dance. And I'm guessing you're not getting that at your current school - something you may not even realize the extent of until you experience a pre-professional school. Take some time to give it a try.

[abbeyej]

Here's your last thread about this, btw: http://welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=220187

[at the beach]

Thanks, everyone, for your thoughts. I'm grateful to say the least.

 

As for the local pre-pro school, when we broached that subject with them about the summer intensive there--well, my daughter asked them first about it--they told her that the teacher was a "monster." I'm really doubting that now after thinking this all through. They toned it down some when they spoke with me. The thing is, the woman who runs this pre-pro school knows the owners of our studio and I believe she thinks they are good people. I think she would be shocked to hear what they'd suggested to my daughter, and I do not even know if it would be appropriate to tell her or just have my daughter go do the audition in March w/o saying anything. I do know when I'd called about the summer intensive, she told me that our studio hasn't sent girls to her in some years, though, I think they used to on occasion. So, it could be they don't care for her, or it could be they are trying to keep business at their studio. Our teachers also told me this pre-pro teacher wouldn't be as harsh in the summer because the school would be trying to get people to come back in the fall. And when I mentioned this friend of my relative (who as I have looked into further has a very reputable school it seems), they dismissed her as if she was a nobody. It is all very odd, indeed. And I agree, it's manipulative and focused on keeping their business in their studio. What else could it be?

 

I never even thought about the fact that it was a horrible idea to have her do a class at home because of the risk of injury or ingraining bad habits. Sigh. I knew, as I am sure they did, she just would not do it.

 

I do realize 15 hours a week is not overboard for a serious student. But our thing was that so much of it was spent in areas that are not really her interest. That was why we originally approached the teachers.

 

I would love to pull my girls now (my younger dances there, too) but my daughter would flip. She feels she owes them and that she agreed to do their competition team this year, and I know will want to see it through. She is still loyal to them to a degree in spite of their handling of this. Would you all let your daughters finish the year out in a situation like this?

 

I am glad I posted about this again. Thank you all.

 

Anyone else have thoughts/comments?

[abbeyej]

...Would you all let your daughters finish the year out in a situation like this?

 

Hm... IF they had not recommended something stupid and possibly dangerous (an hour and a half of unmonitored ballet practice each day by a young and not-yet-fully-formed student), I'd feel better about saying, "Sure, finish out the year."

 

But they DID tell you that -- something that no reputable school with the students' best interest at heart would ever say.

 

And that makes me doubt the caliber of instruction and the safety and technique being taught *in* class as well.

 

... If I weren't worried about that, I'd say, "Sure, finish the year, see if she can pick up another ballet technique class or two locally during the week, do the summer intensive at the pre-pro school, and either go there or to your original school (before the current one) next year."

 

Also, perhaps call the prepro school and see if there is an observation day coming up in the near future. (A few schools will let a prospective family sit in on a class at any time -- most have a few days each semester when that's possible.) Chat with some of the other parents who are waiting. Do their attitudes toward dance sound healthy? Do their daughters love it? Where do they go to summer intensives (especially the 16yo+ girls)? Can they tell you anything about older girls who've gone on to apprentice with reputable companies or study dance at colleges with good programs?

 

Buuut... The fact that this school has been misleading, discouraging, and suggested potentially harmful courses of action makes me think you have no need for continued commitment to them. Your commitment is to your DAUGHTER. You hired them while they seemed like the best option for her. You paid them and they did their job. But now they're revealing their true colors -- not *her* best interest, but theirs.

[teachmejoy]

I haven't taken the time to read everyone's responses yet, because I was so worked up about your post!!! Get her out of that school!!! I have a ballet background and taught at a Company in TN. There are some good schools and some good teachers out there, but my experience has been that the shools that focus on other types of dance were not into ballet and only know the basics. They probably can't teach her any further, because they don't know any more! I have always thought that the best dancers had strictly ballet background. Have you ever noticed that a good ballet dancer can easily move into other genres, but the hip hop dancers can't do ballet worth a flip!

 

Ok, now I'm ranting.... sorry! Oh, and I'm 5'5 1/2" tall...

 

Good luck and have fun dancing!

[at the beach]

I do agree it's not a good situation to stay in. I also agree my commitment is to my daughter. It's funny because my daughter said that her teachers also continuously tell the girls in class about how much ballet many girls are doing--hours and hours a week. They complain that so few girls want to add the second ballet class. But when my daughter went to them with the desire for more, they didn't handle it properly. It really does seem like it's a business decision for them. Thanks, everyone, for all your help.

[plansrme]

Although my daughter does ballet on the side, her focus right now is gymnastics, and we had a similar experience about a year ago that I will summarize in the hope that it will give you courage.

 

She was in a gym where she'd been competing for 6 years. We had had ups and downs with them, but gymnasts in our area do not gym hop very often. She was not having a good first season of level 8 due to some incompetent coaching on bars, and she had been saying for years that she was going to quit after level 8. She also had always said she would never change gyms, that she would quit before she would change gyms.

 

I did not want her to go out with a bad last season under her err, leotard, and forced her to try out another gym. Yes, I forced her to go to a workout with another gym, right smack dab in the middle of the season. She loved the gym and bonded instantly with the coach. No one ever switches gyms in the middle of a season, but that's what is relevant here--when it was time to go, it was time to go.

 

She competed for her old team on a Saturday--had the floor routine of her life, in fact--about a year ago, and started at her new gym on Monday. The old gym fussed and defended themselves to me, but my daughter never looked back. When she got her first 9 on bars a few weeks later, the happy dance my stoic little girl did on the competition floor was priceless. She ended up winning vault and all-around at state and, wonder of wonders, coming in 2nd on bars! The coaches at the old gym are still ticked about her leaving, which also makes me happy.

 

So if it were me, I would make your daughter just try a week of classes somewhere else. Any studio will let a student come in and dance with them for a week. They don't want students who are going to be unhappy any more than your daughter wants to dance somewhere that is not a good fit. She can make her own judgments about the new school and their teachers. She may not like it--a pre-pro school is going to be a very different atmosphere, and she may well be behind other girls her age, but the sooner she gets in there and tries it out, the better.

 

Finally, keep in mind that no one cares more about your daughter than you do. Coaches and dance teachers' loyalty is to their programs, not your daughter.

 

Also, if she's thinking of doing an intensive, auditions are going on right now.

 

Best of luck to both of you.

 

Terri

[DianeW88]

Your dd can always take a class for free at a reputable studio. You should call the studio and ask if she can come for a placement class and to observe other classes. My dd did this at one point (she was 15, I think) and switched studios in a heartbeat. Well actually, she finished her "Nutcracker" committment with the studio she had and "moonlighted" at the new studio for about a month. Then we switched in January and never looked back.

 

As a pp said, ballet is the foundation for all dance. If your dd can do ballet....she can do everything else. It does not work in reverse. :D Get her in a good ballet-only studio ASAP.

[at the beach]

Thank you, also, Diane and Terri. I really appreciate the advice.

 

I am going to have her try classes elsewhere. She is definitely coming around to seeing the problems with her current studio--or accepting that she can't remain there because of the issues we have had. The definitely use brainwashing techniques to make the kids feel that this studio is the only good place around.

 

I plan to contact the local pre-pro ballet school re: her trying out a class there. The thing is, the AD there knows the people who run our studio. I'm sure she's going to ask me what they said to us re: my daughter taking classes at her school. I have no idea what to tell her. I'm afraid to tell her the truth re: our studio's negative comments, especially to my daughter, about her school.

[Mary in VA]

I think you can answer that my giving her a truthful answer, but vague. Something like, "They aren't really receptive to students changing studios," or something like that. She would probably read between the lines and not put you on the spot any further.

 

Mary

[at the beach]

I think you can answer that my giving her a truthful answer, but vague. Something like, "They aren't really receptive to students changing studios," or something like that. She would probably read between the lines and not put you on the spot any further.

 

Mary

 

Thanks, Mary! That sounds like a perfect way to handle it.

[LibraryLover]

What? That's crazy.

 

She has a right to study ballet without being bullied!

Edited February 17, 2011 by LibraryLover

[at the beach]

What? That's crazy.

 

She has a right to study ballet without being bullied!

 

Thanks, LibraryLover. I've already started making phone calls regarding her trying out classes elsewhere. The ballet school told me to call back after the first few weeks in March as right now they are mainly doing rehearsals for the Spring performance. I want her to at least experience a few classes at a pre-pro school and then go from there.

[at the beach]

Another UPDATE: We found a ballet focused school in a neighboring county about 30 minutes away. It is a small school. The woman who owns it danced professionally in a ballet company for 7 years and studied with many great instructors. She started this school 14 years ago. We met with her, and my daughter loved her. She watched a class. She is going back to try pointe with them, and then we'll come up with a schedule until she can start in the summer. Right now, they are mainly working on choreography for the spring performance. I think this is going to be a good thing for my child. My daughter enjoyed the atmosphere. The girls were serious about what they were doing but they also were not afraid of the teacher. Dd could clearly tell that the pointe instruction she's been receiving is not on par with this. Dd said at her current studio, she is often very fearful because they get yelled at so much. This place is strictly ballet, too. She has some work to do according to the owner because she has not been training in ballet. My child's fine with that.

 

I think that this will help my child find her love of dance again. She's been very beaten down lately over everything that happened this year, so I don't even think she knows anymore what she wants. But last night was the first time in a long while that I've seen excitement in her face. This school had a very supportive atmosphere. Oh, and she did try several classes at other local schools, too. But those classes (as she expected) were just not good quality.

 

I'm thankful to you ladies who told me that even if my daughter doesn't necessarily have professional aspirations, there is nothing wrong with wanting to pursue ballet right now simply because she loves it. Thanks to all of you for all your help. We're really feeling much better about things right now.

Edited March 16, 2011 by Violet

[Luckymama]

Good news!

 

Signed,

A ballet-only mom :)

[abbeyej]

So glad you've found a good place for her! And if she gets to college and decides she wants to branch out again, a really strong foundation in good ballet technique will be great preparation for that.

[Ellie]

:party::party::party:

 

That's wonderful!!

 

My dd came out of the womb dancing. :lol: She did a year of "ballet" when she was 4, then Highland dance for 9 years, then ballet...forever. She now teaches ballet. She likes other dance forms and has nothing against schools which don't do ballet, because not everyone likes it. But if there's ballet, it needs to be ballet.

 

At the last school she taught (she has since moved to another part of the state), all dancers were required to do one hour a week of ballet with her. Pointe class was an additional class. Competition dancers were required to do two hours of ballet plus their other dance (I think that's right...I'll check with dd). IOW, the school considered ballet to be the foundation of all other forms of dance. And it was *good* ballet. (She's now teaching in a new school, where she's having to remediate the ballet because it was substandard; the dancers are loving it, because they wanted ballet, not "ballet.")

 

So congratulations to your dd. Her new school sounds like a winner. :001_smile: And kudos to you for sleuthing things out until you found the solution. :001_smile:

[AngelaNYC]

Oh that's great!

[at the beach]

:party::party::party:

 

That's wonderful!!

 

My dd came out of the womb dancing. :lol: She did a year of "ballet" when she was 4, then Highland dance for 9 years, then ballet...forever. She now teaches ballet. She likes other dance forms and has nothing against schools which don't do ballet, because not everyone likes it. But if there's ballet, it needs to be ballet.

 

At the last school she taught (she has since moved to another part of the state), all dancers were required to do one hour a week of ballet with her. Pointe class was an additional class. Competition dancers were required to do two hours of ballet plus their other dance (I think that's right...I'll check with dd). IOW, the school considered ballet to be the foundation of all other forms of dance. And it was *good* ballet. (She's now teaching in a new school, where she's having to remediate the ballet because it was substandard; the dancers are loving it, because they wanted ballet, not "ballet.")

 

So congratulations to your dd. Her new school sounds like a winner. :001_smile: And kudos to you for sleuthing things out until you found the solution. :001_smile:

 

Yes, exactly, Ellie. My daughter wanted to find the real thing and wanted to find people who loved ballet the way she loves it. With the competition studio, ballet was required, but it wasn't like what she saw yesterday.

[at the beach]

So glad you've found a good place for her! And if she gets to college and decides she wants to branch out again, a really strong foundation in good ballet technique will be great preparation for that.

 

Yes, I agree about down the road. Thanks!

[Ellie]

Late reply here. :-)

 

I was just talking to my dancer daughter (who came out of the womb dancing and who is a teacher now). Her thoughts:

 

She thinks your dd is dancing way too many hours a week, too many dance forms at one time. In fact, dd's mind is boggled at the thought.

 

Practice at home is a good thing. Coming up with an actual class at home...WTH???

 

She doesn't think there's anything wrong with taking classes at another school in addition to the school where your dd is taking classes now, if the other school offers classes her current school does not.

 

She also thinks TPTB at your dd's current school are jerks (dancer dd is not shy about saying what she thinks :lol:).