is homeschooling compatible with friends???

[MeganW]

A lot of my friends were public school teachers before they became stay-at-home moms. Maybe I'm naive, I just did not expect the backlash regarding homeschooling.

 

Do your friends take it personally when you decide to homeschool??? I mean seriously, it's like I have personally insulted them by making a different decision than they did, as if I am judging them for sending their kids to public school. Or like I don't respect what they did in their pre-kid lives.

 

I don't feel like I have made any judgemental comments, other than "I don't think my kids would thrive in school due to some minor learning issues".

 

Is this the norm??? Am I going to lose all my friends??? I understand that this isn't a factor in the decision to homeschool, but it just hurts.

 

My mother is barely speaking to me, my dad thinks I "just need to take some time for myself because I seem so stressed", and everyone else is pressuring me to send them to public school "just to give it a chance".

 

How do I know they can't deal with my kids' issues if I don't give it a try? Glad you asked. I talked to the school district, and they told me that they wouldn't even evaluate my kids unless they are failing in the classroom. They aren't going to fail b/c I kill myself at home working with them. So the school district instructed me to STOP working with them and let them fail so they could get some help. Because that's what good moms do, right???

 

I just never expected this whole thing to be so emotional. I don't even know what kind of responses I am looking for. My husband is working out of town this week, and I'm just sitting here crying b/c it seems like everyone I know is against me at the moment, and y'all are the only ones who are going to agree with me that my kids would be better off at home!!!

[momteaches2]

As a former teacher turned homeschool mom, I saw they're you're kids. Do what you feel is best for them. It's not up to your friends to ensure your children get a 'proper' education.

 

I totally disagree with letting your kids fail to get the help they need. What morons!! If you can do it, then do it!!

 

Good luck!!

[KristinaBreece]

Let me start by saying that my oldest DS is the same age as your youngest.

 

I was a music education major. So most of my friends are now teachers on some level. Some of them think it's great that I'm HS, and I'm sure some would call me crazy. My family thinks I've gone completely off the deep end. I think they're waiting for me to put the kids on an all-raw diet, and join an eccentric religious commune. Fortunately, DH is finally won over. It took me all four years of DS's life, and the worst public education stats I could find, but now he's all in.

 

Oddly enough, though, I found encouragement in the least-expected place. My own first grade teacher, who wrote my curriculum on her own because the school wouldn't cater to my precociousness, has been one of my strongest supporters in this undertaking.

[Hedgehogs4]

what better place for a kid to be than with their loving parents who are doing everything they can to be sure their children succeed? You are doing the absolute best thing for your children. Don't let people who believe that experts who "know better" try to change your mind.

 

in response to your question about losing your friends...you may not "lose" them, but I won't try to tell you that "everything is going to be fine." This is one of those times when you have to put on your big-girl panties, manage your boundaries, protect your nest, and confide in people who are going to really support you, not tear you down. It does feel lonely at times, but you will get through it, and be stronger for it.

 

FWIW, one of my dh's best friends hs's his triplets and singleton. they are doing great. you know the old expression "never let 'em see you sweat?" Be careful who you talk to and about what. If you are sure about your decision to homeschool, buckle in and get ready for the ride. To the naysayers, it's all going great, all the time. To the people who really want to see you succeed in this, you can let your hair down and be honest. With parents, they just don't want to see you suffer and are probably offering what they think is best for you, but you are THEIR baby. Just give it some time, and they will soon be so proud of you for what you can do with this "homeschooling thing." kwim?

Edited January 25, 2011 by Hedgehogs4

[redsquirrel]

I am so sorry. That sounds really hard.

 

Sometimes it is really hard for people to realize that you can make a different choice from them without it being a judgment of what they did.

 

My suggestion, speaking from experience, is to STOP talking to people about homeschooling. Just don't. Don't ask for or expect their approval, don't talk to them about your difficulties or choices or even your victories. Keep quiet about it. If specifically asked, be vaguly positive. Don't complain about homeschooling or really much of anything. Save those conversations for people who are either very supportive and/or also homeschool. In other words, you need a new support network.

 

In a few years, when your kids are older and homeschooling is well established, you might be amazed at all the positive comments you get from those same people.

[elise1mds]

I am so sorry. That sounds really hard.

 

...

 

In a few years, when your kids are older and homeschooling is well established, you might be amazed at all the positive comments you get from those same people.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I've only met a couple of serious naysayers (one of them being my mother-in-law, who is extremely passive-aggressive in her attacks), but time has changed the mine of one and is working on my MIL. You are doing what is best; just state your intention as fact and pass the bean dip :)

 

:grouphug:

[kathkath]

I am so sorry. That sounds really hard.

 

Sometimes it is really hard for people to realize that you can make a different choice from them without it being a judgment of what they did.

 

My suggestion, speaking from experience, is to STOP talking to people about homeschooling. Just don't. Don't ask for or expect their approval, don't talk to them about your difficulties or choices or even your victories. Keep quiet about it. If specifically asked, be vaguly positive. Don't complain about homeschooling or really much of anything. Save those conversations for people who are either very supportive and/or also homeschool. In other words, you need a new support network.

 

In a few years, when your kids are older and homeschooling is well established, you might be amazed at all the positive comments you get from those same people.

 

awesome response. I didn't start this thread but THANKS!

[GaHadley]

My circles have definitely changed. The ladies who I used to be "really good friends" with are now aquantances more, but I still do social things with them - I'm in a monthly supper club, and I'm the only one who homeschools. They all think I'm nuts (not as a personal insult even though 2/3 of them are public school teachers). Thankfully, education isn't always the main topic.

 

The fact that I have 3 kids and want more is strange enough of a notion to keep them in shock that we don't usually have to talk about the fact that I want them at home with me all the time and educate them myself!

 

THANKFULLY, the ladies I spend most of my time with now are homeschooling moms. They live the same lifestyle (some are more or less conservative than I am, some are richer or poorer, etc., but we all have so much in common just given the fact that we homeschool). I see them weekly at co-op and once a month for a field trip and another time a month for MNO.

 

I am grateful for some nonhomeschooling friends to shake things up now and then, but my best friends are homeschool moms now.

[TexasMom]

I'm also a former elementary school teacher. I taught up until the day before my first child was born. Being a teacher and seeing how things are really done got me really thinking about homeschooling, especially as my son got closer and closer to the third grade standardized testing. I always knew that I didn't want my kids to go through that. Being a teacher also showed me how much school teaches to the "average" student. If your child is not "average," they're going to be bored because they're ahead, or always struggling because they're behind. So we finally pulled our oldest out of school in December, and started homeschooling all 3 just a few weeks ago!

 

However, I have teacher friends who think very badly of homeschooling. Oh well. I've had to develop a thicker skin. I do have moments of panic when I realize that maybe everyone is right... that maybe I am going to screw up my kids. But I have to block those thoughts from my head. I know my kids, I've done the research, and I've prepared and prepared. I'm doing what I think is best for my family, and to heck with what everyone else thinks. They'll either get over it, or they won't. I may lose some friends, but I also hope to gain some new ones.

 

Best of luck to you.

[Punks in Ontario]

I am so sorry. That sounds really hard.

 

Sometimes it is really hard for people to realize that you can make a different choice from them without it being a judgment of what they did.

 

My suggestion, speaking from experience, is to STOP talking to people about homeschooling. Just don't. Don't ask for or expect their approval, don't talk to them about your difficulties or choices or even your victories. Keep quiet about it. If specifically asked, be vaguly positive. Don't complain about homeschooling or really much of anything. Save those conversations for people who are either very supportive and/or also homeschool. In other words, you need a new support network.

 

In a few years, when your kids are older and homeschooling is well established, you might be amazed at all the positive comments you get from those same people.

:iagree::iagree:Couldn't say it better. They may still be your friends socially, but just don't share your homeschool journey and struggles with them.

[johnandtinagilbert]

Plain truth: yes, you will lose some friends. Even those who don't feel judged, but simply b/c you'll lose the commonalities of daily life and you might not have things to talk about. They'll be ready to shop and you'll be teaching. The invites will slow down b/c they know you're busy or b/c you deny invitations so regularly, they just don't bother.

 

Family usually comes around when the proof in the puddin' is so sweet they can't help but take a bite.

 

:grouphug: That's why there are other home schoolers. We understand. We're not offended. And we know just how you feel. Welcome home!

[FO4UR]

I choose not to put mine in the ps system for much the same reasoning.

 

The only people you have to answer to are your dh (b/c he is their dad after all), and their adult-selves. When they are 25 years old, you will have to look them in the eyes and own what you did to teach and train them for success in this life. Look into their sweet little faces now, with the confidence that you will NOT quit giving them the very best you have. It's hard. You make mistakes. You don't quit. Your dc are worth it!

 

I have a dc who has some "learning quirks" and there is no doubt that I'd be throwing him to the wolves if I put him in a ps. Oh, he'd skate by sheer charm and manipulation, but he'd be robbed of an education.

[Kalmia]

Please don't cry!!! You are creating a wonderful new life for your family. Just look at the posts on this board. Great moms and dads all over the country and the world are enjoying their families and helping them learn gently in a loving environment.

 

Remember, not only do your teacher friends know no other way, but many of them have been taught to believe that only "trained professionals" can teach. Your decision threatens their very self-image. Their reactions are about their own misconceptions and delusions of grandeur, not about you or your children.

 

I have teacher friends who applaud my decisions and others who overtly skeptical. Relatives in both camps too. They will all calm down after a while. They are just responding with surprise, not with well-thought out opinions.

 

I pulled my gifted son out of school because no matter how we tried to get the teachers to understand that he needed a different approach, they persisted in their cookie-cutter ways. It was killing his love of learning.

 

Telling a parent not to help their child in school so that they will fail and qualify for "services" is criminal!!!!! This statement alone should shock the naysayers enough to realize that no school will ever offer anything near the "services" a devoted parent working side by side with their child could accomplish.

 

Everything will be fine... Then it will be fun... Then it will be fabulous!

[Dina in Oklahoma]

Megan ~

 

Please know you are not alone. Most homeschool families experience some type of backlash. I think your comment about guilt maybe correct. I experienced that with both family and friends who stated they would go crazy if they had to stay home all day with their children.

 

You know your children better than anyone; their strenghts, areas they need to work on, and how they learn best. ENJOY this opportunity! If these people shun you now they were never your friends to begin with -- maybe acquaintances, but not friends.

 

I encourage you to get involved with homeschool groups and outside activities. We had some real misses, but are now in a wonderful co-op. DD and I have made many new friends. Maybe you just need to enlarge your circle an seek out other Hsers.

 

Best Wishes,

 

Dina :001_smile:

 

ETA: It just came to mind that we as homeschoolers give up a great deal to stay home with our children--income, freedom, etc. Perhaps some of these people feel guilt because they do know it is better to homeschool but aren't willing to pay the price. :grouphug:

Edited January 25, 2011 by Dina in Oklahoma

[Mommybostic]

My son was half way through his 5th grade year when I pulled him out over Christmas break this year. I have dithered with this decision for two years, and I could kick myself for putting it off so long.

 

Ultimately, though it hurts to say it, if someone can judge you for a decision like this, how good of a friend are they? Our jobs are not to judge those we care about, but to support them, lend a hand, listen, and just generally be there, regardless of the fact that what they are doing may or may not be the same thing we would do in their place.

 

Because of my particular situation, I don't have a huge circle of friends. I basically have one best friend and two good friends. My best friends I used to talk to every morning on the phone for a few minutes. Now I call her and chat during our lunch hour. I still make time to chat about things, talk about her kids in school, whatever.

 

The bottom line is, I didn't really ASK anyone what they thought. I beat myself up enough and agonized over the choice--I certainly didn't need any help doing that! You have nothing to be ashamed of, and you are a mother--you don't need to see your child fail in order to know something is amiss. That's why you are the mom and everyone else is just the peanut gallery. For a while I was worried about what others would think, but here's what happened--my son's biggest worry was that people would make fun of him or say mean things because he was homeschooled. I had to be an example to him, and I had to preach to him that we can't make major life choices based on what others might think. So, I had to practice what I preached!

 

Having said all of that, I'm really sorry because I know it sucks to be the lone wolf. Stick tight to the people who do support you, remind yourself why you are homeschooling your kids, and try to weather the storm. Eventually, you will have the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so."

[Dinsfamily]

I completely agree with all of this saying not to talk to non-supportive people about hsing. Don't expect that they will change their minds.

 

One thing that really helped me last year as all of my friends were comparing teachers and how great their schools were was to write down my reasons for hsing and put it in a prominent place. It helped keep me focused on my task. This year has been easier in that respect.

[Paige]

I don't think any of my teacher friends are offended or upset with me but I have seen my mom-friends dramatically less since I began homeschooling. As someone else mentioned, it is mostly because I am now so busy during the day. I can't do lunch or have playdates for my youngest in the afternoon anymore. I found that I can't try to be flexible and have a different schedule every day or every week so that I can fit in play dates and lunches with my friends. When I did that, school got put off too much and things became too random and chaotic for us. And when I quit doing things in the day, I was less of an inner circle chick, and we've just drifted apart. But that's ok...we're starting to meet new people. Also, I've found that in any group I've been a part of, homeschooling or not- once the kids go from preschool and under to school age and over, things change and people become less active.

[MerryAtHope]

(((Hugs))) I'm so sorry. My mom was a PS teacher (retired now), and she didn't understand at first either. I just kept listening & saying, "that's something to think about" and biding my time...then she saw how my kids blossomed with being home schooled & decided it was ok, then good, then "keep homeschooling!"

 

I hope your friends and family can come to respect what you are doing. I think the K-1st grade years were the most questions etc..., and after that people start to accept it. I'm sorry you're going through this. Merry :-)

[iquilt]

It's very hard to find out that friends aren't really friends. We've been thru changes in our lives these last two years that have revealed just how many frivolous people I was hanging around with. Now, after the hurt, I can say I don't miss them at all and my eyes have been opened to the cruelty of fair weather friends. I've learned who to tell about the hard days so that I can avoid some criticism.

[golfcartmama]

I've found that the attitude is just that "if it's good enough for my kid (meaning p.s.), why isn't it good enough for yours?" It's like they're insulted that I homeschool. Could you be catching some of that?

 

When I get asked, I simply say it wasn't a good fit for our family at this time. Most people quit asking then...

[blakereese]

I am so sorry. That sounds really hard.

 

Sometimes it is really hard for people to realize that you can make a different choice from them without it being a judgment of what they did.

 

My suggestion, speaking from experience, is to STOP talking to people about homeschooling. Just don't. Don't ask for or expect their approval, don't talk to them about your difficulties or choices or even your victories. Keep quiet about it. If specifically asked, be vaguly positive. Don't complain about homeschooling or really much of anything. Save those conversations for people who are either very supportive and/or also homeschool. In other words, you need a new support network.

 

In a few years, when your kids are older and homeschooling is well established, you might be amazed at all the positive comments you get from those same people.

 

This is a very wise post. What I bolded...this is what I have been dealing with, and I think it is often how people feel. Try not to let it upset you, but be firm that this is a decision that you and DH have made. They need to know it's not about them. It is about your kids, your family.

 

You are at the beginning of the journey, and will probably get the most opposition now. Some people may want to talk you out of it, or they just want to be there to show you how you are making a terrible decision. :001_rolleyes: The less you say, the better.

 

Try to surround yourself with others who are homeschooling. Join a local hs group, meet some locals on yahoo and see if they have meet ups. It will make you feel better to have some people IRL who are supportive. It has made a world of difference to me.

 

Yes, you'll probably lose some friends. Your kids may lose some friends. But oh, what you will gain. :001_smile::grouphug::grouphug:

[IsabelC]

I've found that some of the people I used to be friends with are now just acquaintances because their lives seems to revolve around school. I never realized before that schooling has such an impact on whole families, not just the kids who go to school. My xbf, whom I only see once or twice a year, basically has her kids' friends' mothers as her friends. They organize the kids for school, socialize with each other while the kids are at school (or while they're participating in school related activities) and take the kids to sports activities with their school friends during the weekends. For a while, she'd occasionally call to see if I wanted to come for coffee or lunch with them, but I couldn't go because it was never anywhere kid friendly, and after a bit I stopped getting invited. Now the only invitations I get are usually to do things with other home edding families, although there are a few schooling families who still like to see us.

 

I agree with those who suggested not seeking hs support from non hs people. As with any other non mainstream life choice, most people will judge you to be lucky if it's going well, but wrongheaded if it's going badly. Therefore if you're sounding cheerful, they are liable to take this as a personal affront, whereas if you sound stressed, this is read as proof that you should put your kids in school. If people ask me how it's going, I usually just say something along the lines of it has its ups and downs, but mostly we have a lot of fun (which is true).

[Irishmommy]

Former public school teacher here (high school), mom is a ps teacher, brother is a ps teacher, two aunts ps teachers - just to let you know where I'm coming from

 

When my oldest was born I would have thought you were CRAZY if you told me I'd EVER be homeschooling. I thought homeschoolers were just kids who couldn't "make" it in "real" school (no lie, that's what I thought). Over the course of my teaching career, I had probably 4 homeschoolers in my classes (120-150 students per year - 8 years), none of which could ever handle the rigor of my class. So, I assumed that most homeschooling kids were the same. You do the numbers...obviously, I was WAY off on my perceptions about homeschoolers. When my son went to public K his first year, I had high hopes. It was a HORRIBLE experience, to put it lightly. I kept saying to myself that year, "I could do better than THIS!"

 

Finally, by the end of the year I had decided to give homeschooling a try. Now we LOVE it. It has been the BEST thing I've ever done for my kids and my family. The kids are so close. They get to learn all kinds of "cool" things that kids in ps don't have time to learn because they are too busy prepping for the test. We take field trips, learn all over the house, play, enjoy each other!

 

Ignore what others say. Be positive about it and go your own way. Just tell the grandparents that if you didn't homeschool then they would ONLY be able to see you and the kids on holidays, now you can visit whenever you/they want - (that is what FIANLLY won over my old fashioned dad).

 

HUGS to you! I know this is a hard time. I feel your pain. I have felt your pain. I thought I was going to ruin my son. As it turns out, it was the BEST decision I've ever made for him and us (and the rest of the kids).

[Alicia64]

I just want to let you know: when we started homeschooling over two years ago, my dad didn't speak to me for a year.

 

We never had a great relationship, but he was livid. He'd come up through the world through education so it was like I was criticizing his religion or something. He's clueless about the state of schools. . .

 

I also had several friends just plain act weird around me. It was obvious that I had become "different" in their eyes.

 

I think it's normal to go through this transition w/ homeschooling. If moms don't -- great for them. But I think there are a lot of us who had to go through it.

 

Two years later I'm much stronger and feel confident that I chose the right path.

 

Good luck,

 

Alley

[mbosh237]

I know I am no one of the more seasoned people here, but you have gotten some of the best advise I have ever read. It isn't easy for people to accept when you make decisions that they deem aren't "normal".

 

Truth be told, my husband lost a job opportunity (he's a preacher) for no other reason than because we homeschool. The congregation had several teachers there and they obviously had a problem with it. But, you can't let other people make the decisions on what is right for YOUR family.

 

My family all thinks I'm crazy. But I got one of the best compliments from my dad over the summer. He knows how well my DD1 is doing with me teaching her because he has been able to see it. He was NEVER on board with me homeschooling and always had one of those roll your eye, I"m ruining my kids, what am I thinking, types of attitudes though he would never outright tell me. Well, a few months ago he actually told me what a great job I am doing and that he never imagined it would be going so well.

 

People are just scared about what they don't know, whether they will admit it or not. They will all come back with that one family who homeschooled and the children didn't know anything, weren't taught anything, didn't know how to "socialize", etc. They all have that ONE bad story. But, they don't realize how many good stories there are because we are not the ones who stand out!

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble but to just share that there are a lot of us here who know exactly what you are going through!

[mbosh237]

 

I think it's normal to go through this transition w/ homeschooling. If moms don't -- great for them. But I think there are a lot of us who had to go through it.

 

Two years later I'm much stronger and feel confident that I chose the right path.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[littlebug42]

I am so sorry. That sounds really hard.

 

Sometimes it is really hard for people to realize that you can make a different choice from them without it being a judgment of what they did.

 

My suggestion, speaking from experience, is to STOP talking to people about homeschooling. Just don't. Don't ask for or expect their approval, don't talk to them about your difficulties or choices or even your victories. Keep quiet about it. If specifically asked, be vaguly positive. Don't complain about homeschooling or really much of anything. Save those conversations for people who are either very supportive and/or also homeschool. In other words, you need a new support network.

 

In a few years, when your kids are older and homeschooling is well established, you might be amazed at all the positive comments you get from those same people.

 

I have old friends that do not homeschool. They are not critical but honestly, we just don't talk about it. We don't agree on the subject as their kids are in public school but we each parent our children the way we see fit. I just add homeschooling to politics and religion as topics that we just usually don't discuss as we don't agree there either. We do however respect each other's differences.

[skueppers]

Maybe these people will still be your friends two years from now, and maybe they won't.

 

Whether or not you're homeschooling, this might well be true.

 

One of them might move away.

 

One of them might go back to work.

 

One of them might have a new baby.

 

One of them might get involved in a messy divorce.

 

and so on. Any of these things could lead to a change in your relationship.

 

Yes, it's possible that the decision to homeschool might be a factor. You may find that as your friends see you homeschooling your kids, they'll get over it. My county homeschool reviewer told me that when she first started doing this job, she thought it wasn't possible that homeschoolers could be doing as good a job as a trained teacher like her, but once she got more experience with homeschoolers, she realized that wasn't true.

 

But even if your friends get over their negative feelings about homeschooling, you may still grow apart. For one thing, they are likely to be available in the daytime to get together, and you likely won't be. Even if you arranged your school schedule to be available when they wanted to hang out, their kids would be in school, so it wouldn't make sense for you to bring your kids along to play. For another, your decision to homeschool may already indicate, or may develop into, an important difference in your values. Schooling decisions, like other major parenting decisions (stay-at-home vs. career, positive discipline vs. spanking, breastfeeding vs. formula, etc.), can highlight differences and lead to strain in relationships.

 

It's natural for relationships to change over time. Most of us can't maintain more than a handful of close relationships through thick and thin. We just don't have the time or emotional energy.

[DaffodilDreams]

My friends with ps kids are drifting away. We barely see each other these days. I still have my theatre friends, hs friends, and friends with no kids, though.

[mom2denj]

First of all :grouphug:. I haven't had the same experience as you. I have not had anyone get "mad" because I am homeschooling. I HAVE had a lot of people just kind of look at me in that awkward kind of way that says "really" "why?". I simply tell them that it is the best decision for us.

 

I think alot of people are really just curious. We are always getting questioned about homeschooling.

 

I think that it is normal to have ps friends kind of slip away because you are not in the same mindset as they are. I have freinds whose children do go to public school, but I definitely feel more comfortable with my friends that are homeschool moms. We all gain and lose friends throughout life depending on where we are in our journey.

 

I agree with the previous posters, just don't talk about homeschooling with the friends that you know are totally against it. If they ask how school is going, just say it is wonderful, thank you. Then come over here and rant and rave when you have bad days!:lol: We understand!

[Haiku]

Or like I don't respect what they did in their pre-kid lives.

 

 

 

I think that's a big part of it.

 

Perhaps you should say something about it to these friends. Ask them, gently, "Do you feel like my decision to homeschool is a value judgment on your decision to be a teacher?" See what these friends say. Maybe if it is spelled out to them, they will realize that it's silly yo be personally insulted by your decision to homeschool.

 

I have a friend who is a high school teacher. She doesn't believe in homeschooling, but she always tells me, "I know you will do a good job with your kids because you are smart and so are they." :001_huh: Ok. I don't try to convert her. I just homeschool my kids and let her teach.

 

Tara

[AmyinMD]

I think the first year homeschooling is the hardest. Especially if everyone around you is enrolling their kids into Kindergarten. The majority of the criticism we've received was during my oldest dd's kindergarten and 1st grade year. Everyone was sure we were going to mess her up for life if she wasn't in school.

 

My mom is a PS teacher. She's taught over 40 years with 26 of those years in 1st grade so she is constantly "testing" my kids. My oldest really struggled to learn to read and my mom said she was lazy because she wasn't in a classroom all day. The kid has dyslexia, tracking issues, and visual/motor integration issues but my mom blamed it all on homeschooling. My dd's vision issues were actually caught my another homeschool mom when I was explaining all of dd's troubles, not my mom who had probably taught thousands of kids to read at that point.

 

My sister is going to school to be a music teacher and my brother is a social studies teacher (laid off 4 years ago and waiting tables but still searching for a teaching position) so there are lots of teachers in the family. The way we usually deal with it is by just not talking about it. Since we aren't going to agree it's just better to talk about something else.

 

We still get some flack though. Since Maryland does so well on state assessments my mil is always sending us links on how great the schools are in Maryland. :glare: I just hit delete and don't respond so now she sends it to dh who does the same. So far I've been very unimpressed with our local middle school. I will not send any other children there it is so bad.

[dakarimom5]

I have always been the black sheep of my family...it's the same way with my in-laws. So I get many comments about how they "can't" homeschool.

 

As far as friends, when I started not vaxing I lost a bunch. But when I started homeschooling I just had two of my friends start homeschooling too!! So now it is the 3 of us sharing ideas and supporting each other.

 

But I do still feel weird when I go to the ps and people find out I'm hs. I get funny looks. I guess most people think it's an all or nothing kind of thing.

[FloridaLisa]

Megan,

 

You sound really stressed. :grouphug:

 

I never had any discouragement from my friends that were teachers, friends that had their dc in school or even the teacher/friends that we had made at school for the first 2 years. But, I lay low and didn't really go around justifying or discussing our choice. We were still active at church and did things with all of our friends.

 

My mother is barely speaking to me, my dad thinks I "just need to take some time for myself because I seem so stressed", and everyone else is pressuring me to send them to public school "just to give it a chance".

 

This stuck out to me. Your parents may be completely out of line. On the other hand, they may see something that you don't see. Perhaps they see you overly stressed and are worried?

 

Your kids are young. This is your first year. Take it easy. If you're having a hard day (and we've all had them!), take the day off and play. Go to the museum. Get out the art supplies. Sit back and let them watch PBS. :001_smile:

 

Lisa