Santa question

[Hot Lava Mama]

For those of you who do (or did) Santa and the Easter Bunny...what did you tell your dc when it was time to know the truth and at what age were your dc when you discussed this with them?

 

Thanks!

[TracyR]

Well my children still believe in Santa , and to a lesser extent the Easter Bunny . But we emphasize the reasons for the seasons . Right now I'm just letting them be children .

Just recently we read the story of St. Nicolaus and in all the sense of the word he was a real person . He lived in the 4th century. He just isn't here in the sense that children think he's here :>)

I guess I'm not helpful at this point . But just emphasizing the reason for the season seems to gently guide them to the 'truth ' without having to say it bluntly .

[JFSinIL]

My kids gradually figured it out and told me! First was ds #1 - he took me aside so the other kids would not hear and told me "It is you, isn't it?". He agreed to keep the secret from the other kids. He was about 10.

Next, dd#1 was about 12!!!!! when she was finally willing to stop believing in the Breaded One. Youngest dd was 11 when I had to tell HER - she was a t public school at the time and I was afraid her talking about Santa was going to get her teased!

 

All three kids still keep the secret from the twin boy (boy - he is 16!) with autism - he may believe until the day he dies. We are not going to spoil it for him - he does get so excited about Santa, etc.

[KarenNC]

I'm not entirely sure whether my 7.5 yo still truly believes wholly in Santa and the Easter Bunny, but I suspect she already knows or at least suspects strongly. She twigged to the Tooth Fairy last fall and continues to enjoy the game (it was actually a relief to her to know that someone she didn't know wasn't coming into her room at night :)). I had to tell her explicitly tell her not to mention this around her friends, some of whom are younger.

 

She knows that the mall Santas are not the "real" Santa, but rather helpers. Santa only brings small stocking presents on Christmas Day in our house (we are Neopagan and exchange our family presents on Winter Solstice a few days earlier), so it may not be as big a deal---I'm not sure. She knows that she and I buy special things for Daddy's stocking. We plan to take the tack of Santa as a representation of the spirit of love and giving.

[Heather in Neverland]

We don't have a talk about Santa not being real. Honestly, they just sort if pick up on it naturally. I have a feeling that my oldest ds knows he isn't real but he enjoys playing along because it is fun!!!

[Lori D.]

We always focused on the reasons for the seasons, and didn't do stockings or Santa when they were very young. After we read them Tolkien's "Father Christmas Letters" (around age 4-5), they wanted to have stockings and to believe that Father Christmas visited them too, so we did stockings and wrote a letter to them detailing Father Christmas's adventures for that year. We also read about the origins of Father Christmas from St. Nicholas, the real person.

 

We balanced that out with various Biblical type traditions over the years:

- daily, hang up a Jesse tree ornament and remember what it stands for

- daily, do an advent calendar that little by little retells the Christmas story

- daily, reading a Christmas book with a Scriptural or moral theme to it (such as The Other Wiseman, Jonathon Toomey, A Small Miracle, or The Last Straw)

- weekly, light candles and sing together as part of our advent wreath celebration

- on Christmas Eve, attending an evening service

- on Christmas Day, reading out of Luke before opening presents

 

 

We've never done an Easter bunny. However, we have done some nice Resurrection Day traditions:

- just had fun as a craft dyeing blown eggs

- 12 days before Easter -- use a Resurrection egg set, open 1 egg a day and discuss the spiritual significance of the item inside the egg

- the week before Easter -- family reading each evening from the gospels on what was happening in Jesus' life in that last week of His life

- the night before Easter -- make "tomb cakes", which we eat for Easter morning breakfast (spread out the triangles of crescent roll dough for tombs; place a large marshmallow (represents Jesus' shrouded body) on each; sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar (represents the spices they would have used in burials); wrap and pinch shut the dough around the marshmallow; put on foiled baking sheet; bake as per the package directions -- the "tombs" split open as they bake, and the marshmallows melt into them -- "He is not here; He has risen!")

- on Easter -- after church, we hand each boy a clue to start them on a scavenger hunt for more clues, until the last clue directs them to a little basket of goodies to enjoy

 

 

It's so fun to make some of those family traditions! Enjoy! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[OnEaglesWings]

I just did this! My dd just turned 10 in March. We have four children. She is the last, and I've dreaded breaking the news to each of them. They were all around 9-10 when they learned the truth. We had to tell each of them. None figured it out on their own. Best of all, they all survived!

 

She had been hearing the rumors and knew most of her friends didn't believe, but she held on. We had decided to let her have one last "Santa" Christmas. I decided I'd start with an easier one: Just before Easter, I told her that there was no bunny. Her mouth literally dropped to the floor! I left it at that. I thought it might be easier for her if she came to the conclusion about Santa and the tooth fairy on her own. She brought Santa up right away, but it took about 2 weeks for the tooth fairy to come up. She was pretty bummed about no Santa!

 

I was just really matter-of-fact with her. After she got over the initial shock, she took it ok. We have always emphasized the true meanings of the holidays, so she felt comforted by them.

 

I did assure her that God is real, although I don't think she really needed reassuring about that.

[Starr]

Not those rumors again! We smile, we laugh and we help Santa more as we get older. I must say that my 12 year old ds is leaving quite elaborate instructions for the tooth fairy. Please turn the water in the glass, holding my tooth, blue with gold sparkles...LOL Thank goodness there is only one tooth left to come out!

[Hazelt"nut"]

I'm big on imagination stuff. We do Saint Nicholas big time. We even left out "reindeer" food (birdseed, oatmeal and glitter) on the lawn and St. Nick left the kids some sleigh bells on the lawn as a thank you. They can't wait to add to their collection of sleigh bells this year. This past year we found sooty footprints in front of the fireplace. My kids are still little but the way I'm handling it is that I try to refer to him by his real name Saint Nicholas as much as possible. We checked out a couple of books on him and read about him some real some legend. when the time comes I plan to explain that he was real but that he was a man and all men die at some point because he wasn't God. But what he stood for was so important that people have kept it going for him and that now it will be her turn to join in the effort to give. We also try to extend this beyond our ouwn family and give to those in need as well. Hopefully being able to join in the spirit of giving and keeping this going will be enough to bring a smile to her face. Time will tell. As for the Bunny I don't get to do that one. My dh plays along with the others but he believes Easter is special and that we were told to remember it and so no bunny here. We do color egss and hunt them days before Easter as I celebration of Spring. Hope this helps. Now I've just got to figure out how to keep answering the "M0ommy are the princesses at Disney real princesses?" without lying to her directly.

[KarenNC]

Not those rumors again! We smile, we laugh and we help Santa more as we get older. I must say that my 12 year old ds is leaving quite elaborate instructions for the tooth fairy. Please turn the water in the glass, holding my tooth, blue with gold sparkles...LOL Thank goodness there is only one tooth left to come out!

 

As I said, my daughter caught on to the tooth fairy after the second tooth (she didn't lose one until her 7th birthday). Once I told her that, yes, she was right, Daddy was the tooth fairy, she was relieved, but wanted to continue to play the game.

 

Fast forward to next tooth lost. Daddy forgot. The next day she said nothing to me about it all day (I forgot to ask her as well). That evening when he was tucking her in, she said, "The tooth fairy forgot to come last night. If she forgets again this evening, I am going to be *very* unhappy."

 

Tooth fairy left a dime extra in interest.

[linders]

First, my DS 7.5 and 5 still fully believe in Santa, in part thanks to a dear, authentic gentleman who has played Santa at a local garden center since they were babes. The older one has started asking why he can't find Santa's workshops with Google Earth, though...

 

We have never played up the Easter Bunny much, but the "bunny" does hide treats to find Easter morning at our house. Before this past Easter, my older DS asked, "You put out the candy, don't you, Mom?" The whole bunny-who-hops-in-and-carries-treats is a little hard to swallow, right? I gave a noncommital, "What do you think?" But I did ask that he not include his brother in considering that question.

 

After another lovely Easter with favorite chocolate eggs and jelly beans, older DS came to me again. "Mom, I'm sorry for thinking you were the Easter Bunny. I know it isn't you because you would never let us have all this candy at once!"

[SuzyKS]

I made sure that I always let my dd know the true reason for the seasons. So when it came time to talk to her about Santa and the Easter Bunny I told her it was a game that we played, and can continue to play, for as long as we both choose too. She will be 12 next month and we are still playing. As for the Tooth fairy, some little girl told her she was not real at a birthday party, my dd party at that. She was hurt but seemed assured that things would be ok since I was willing to continue the game. We did have a talk that she was not ever, under no circumstances, never to talk to other children about it. Just in case they don't know.

[Jean in Wisc]

We treated Santa and the Easter Bunny like Peter Rabbit and Winnie the Pooh. We never went through the issue of what was truth and what was not.

 

But then, I suppose this does you no good. LOL!--well maybe for someone else.

 

:-)

J

[Ginger]

About a year or so ago, my then 8 year old daughter came to me and said "Mom, I don't think the Easter Bunny is real. The whole idea of a big bunny seems strange."

me: "Oh, really. Well then who hides the eggs and leaves the Easter Baskets?"

DD: "I think it is Santa Claus".

 

Ginger

(and now at 10 she still believes in both)

[OnEaglesWings]

About a year or so ago, my then 8 year old daughter came to me and said "Mom, I don't think the Easter Bunny is real. The whole idea of a big bunny seems strange."

me: "Oh, really. Well then who hides the eggs and leaves the Easter Baskets?"

DD: "I think it is Santa Claus".

 

Ginger

(and now at 10 she still believes in both)

 

 

Oh, that's precious!

 

Kim

[RoughCollie]

My kids just naturally stopped believing in the EB and Santa, as they got older. The boys pretended to believe for a couple of years just in case Santa quit coming to our house, and I knew it. The EB went first.

 

I don't care about the EB, but I really miss having little kids who believe in Santa.

[I talk to the trees]

That as long as you believe in Santa, he'll still bring you a stocking full of goodies. (This works for the adults, too!) That said, my DD worked it out for herself one evening when she was 6. No big deal. She just asked "Are you the tooth fairy?" And I asked her if she wanted me to answer truthfully, and she said yes. So I did. I'm still not sure what tipped her off, but I wasn't going to lie to her when she point blank asked me. A few minutes went by, and she said, "Well that's how Santa gets in here!" And that was that! I do have to remind her to "play along" with other kids her age though.

 

Now that the cat is out of the bag, we do something much more fun with her "Santa gift." She has to answer a series of riddles and clues leading to the gift!

 

-Robin

[abbeyej]

For those of you who do (or did) Santa and the Easter Bunny...what did you tell your dc when it was time to know the truth and at what age were your dc when you discussed this with them?

 

Thanks!

 

I don't know whether to say we "did" or "didn't" "do Santa". I've told my kids from the beginning about Saint Nicholas. We celebrate St Nicholas day every year (read some stories, invite friends to have a feast with the same foods each year, talk about the virtues of St Nicholas and why his feast comes at the beginning of Advent, put a small bag of chocolate coins in a shoe for each guest at the feast...), and we have stockings at Christmas, but we've never pretended that "Santa" was coming down a chimney, leaving his magical reindeer on the roof.

 

It's more a family celebration of deeds of charity done without thought to reward or recognition. And we celebrate St Nicholas' life and the things his stories teach us in a fun way by filling stockings for each other.

 

I have had to drill the kids on not telling their friends that St Nicholas died in Turkey 400 years ago. ;) Ds said something to a 10yo friend last year assuming he knew the story. Luckily, lol, the friend chose to ignore him.

 

Growing up, my family always had stockings but when questions came up about who filled them, the answer was always "someone who loves you".

 

None of this ever stopped my siblings and I or my own kids from reveling in our annual stockings, the anticipation, the surprise. And when my mom declared that my brother and I were too old for stockings, we filled each others. It was actually a great exercise for each of us, in trying to really think about the best gifts for the other...

 

(PS- We've never done the Easter Bunny. I'm just not a big fan... If someone else gives the kids Easter Bunny stuff, that's fine, but I don't do it at our house...)

 

(Edited: I wanted to add... When my brother and I were small, we "chose" to believe in Santa to some extent. We knew it wasn't "true" in the strictest sense of the word, but children are a little more willing to blend the edges of "real" and "imagined". I see my own kids doing this to an extent as well. But I'm glad it's their choice whether to "believe" or not in something that they know is "just for fun". It's like ds playing along with the Tooth Fairy, and wondering aloud when she'll come, when he knows very well that what he's doing is reminding me that he's had teeth in his little pirate tooth holder for ages, lol...)

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I think imagination is really important. Sometimes I think that we don't let our children use it enough. There's a lot of reality in the world and a little imagination can be such a great thing!

 

That being said, we've never told our dc that Santa, EB, TF are real. We've always been honest with them. But, I can tell you, we've let our imaginations fly when it comes to these things. We cover Saint Nicholas, but, we also have fun with the Night Before Christmas. It's important to us as a family and our traditions.

 

We have a TF dance, great stockings, and really hilarious egg hunts. It all makes for so much fun during the holidays and occasions in our family.

[Robin Hood]

We don't have a talk about Santa not being real. Honestly, they just sort if pick up on it naturally. I have a feeling that my oldest ds knows he isn't real but he enjoys playing along because it is fun!!!

 

I tried to go the truth route, but my kids wanted to believe. I don't believe it has done them one bit of harm and they definately are able to separate the fantasy of Santa, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy from the birth celebration of Jesus, His death and Mommy giving them $$$ for thier teeth. But they love the game.

 

If truth is the issue, it goes much farther back than our American traditions of Christmas and Easter. You've got to start explaining mytholoy and why we celebrate when we do.

[Stacie]

My boys still believe in, though are deeply questioning, Santa. My oldest told me when he was 7 that he didn't think the EB or Santa were real, that they were "figments of the imaginations of parents everywhere." His words, not mine.:lol: My response was to ask him that if he stopped believing, did he also think they would stop coming.

 

He considered it and then told me "Okay, I'll spot you the Santa story but you'll never convince me that a giant pink bunny hops around our house at night hiding eggs and leaving candy." After a wink the conversation was done and he hasn't brought it up again. He's keeping it close to the vest for the younger ones, which I appreciate very much.

[Jean in Newcastle]

We don't do Santa or the Easter bunny - but I still have a funny Easter Bunny/ Santa story. Dd6 was born 2 weeks before Christmas. The Santa at our mall saw me on my walks during my pregnancy and he met my daughter when she was 3 days old. He gets to see her every year at her birthday time. He is a loved "grandpa friend".

 

The same man who is Santa is also the Easter bunny (same photographer too). A couple of years ago we happened to be at the mall when the Easter Bunny was there for photos. The Easter Bunny came over to say "hi" to us. My dd was so scared that she screwed up her eyes and shouted "Ribbit! Ribbit!" She told me later that she thought it would scare that huge rabbit away!

[dirty ethel rackham]

I've never told them. They've figured it out themselves, although only one of my kids actually admitted to me that they knew. My oldest figured it out at about age 9. The others around age 6. We still have a gift from Santa under the tree for each child and we still hunt Easter eggs and have baskets for them, but we don't make a big deal. The big deal has always been discussing the reason for the season.

[lynn]

We never had to say anything . They just out grew it and figured it out as they got older. The older 2, now in their teens, play along with the younger 2 children.

[Caroline]

We have a thirteen year old, and I am sure he knows. But we also have littles, and we still pretend for them. My mom pretended for us until we got married and had our own kids.

 

When my oldest was 6, a friend told him that Santa was really his parents. DS said, "I don't believe you. My parents are not that resourceful." I don't know where he got the word resourceful from.

 

Now I did have to tell my three year old that Jesus, Mary and Joseph would not be attending our Baby Jesus birthday party in person. She was really disappointed. I don't think she gets it yet. I think she just thought they had prior obligations at church that evening.

[Tracey in TX]

DH told the children the Easter Bunny is not real as he felt it important to keep the sanctity of Easter. However, Christmas is fair game :) Strangely enough, all my children still believe in Santa Claus (note the ages!). When DD asks annually if Santa is real, I tell her that he has a NORAD sponsored website...and would the federal government lie to its citizens? (note sarcasm?) She reassures herself Santa is real; I merely supply her with the web link. It'll be a delightful conversation when the children finally come to the realization on their own volition.