Oh no. What have I done?

[plain jane]

Sigh.

 

I think I've signed up my kids for too many activities next year. Okay, okay, I admit... It's more than just thinking it, I did sign my kids up for too much. :001_unsure:

 

Thing is, dh and I thought long and hard before committing to each one and we were comfortable with what we were signing the kids up for. I still am okay with it all, I guess, but I'm chickening out at how much I'll be out of the house. It's not sounding very appealing at the moment and I can just imagine how I'm going to feel 2 months from now. :001_huh:

 

Truth is I'm *not* a homebody. I enjoy being out of the home and it makes me happy to be able to provide my kids with the opportunities to participate in these activities. Yes, I am one of those hs'ing moms who does worry about the friendships/relationships (or potential lack thereof) that my kids have. :blushing: I do feel better/happier when they are out doing stuff and I am willing to make the sacrifices for them to have these opportunities. I guess part of the problem is just having multiple kids in activities. I tried my best to put as much as I could at the same time but things don't always work out. So, even if it's not the same child that's busy, *I'm* always busy. :tongue_smilie:

 

I'm just worn out thinking about it all and the year ahead. :sad: I'm not overly concerned about missing out on school time as we've got a good schedule down and the co-op that they're in for a couple hours each week I *think* has more benefits than drawbacks for us.

 

I do have the option of pulling them out of some activities but we've paid for everything up front so we'll lose quite a bit of money (not all refundable) which is a deterrent. But, the time I would get back would be nice too. Thing is I can't decide *what* to pull them out of and I know I'll feel really guilty about doing so.

 

Sigh. I don't know what to do. I have this uneasy feeling in my heart but I can't pinpoint where exactly it's coming from. I don't know what it is that's bothering me the most. I'm probably wearing myself too thin for my kids and I know that's not healthy. Thing is, they don't even ask to be in these activities, most of them were my idea. :001_huh:

 

I'm not even sure I have a question.:confused: I needed to put this out there because I thought maybe some other hs'ing mom would understand.

[In The Great White North]

I do understand. Some of the things that I have found helped are to make sure the time during activities is not wasted for you or the other dc, and not to feel like you are always running to meet a deadline.

 

If they are all in an activity at a time, that is my time. I use it to work out or just have a cup of coffee and relax, whichever I need more at the time. I do not use it to run errands! That only results in me being frazzled and the dc not being tired at all.

 

If some are in an activity and others are not, they get to do homework. If I have to watch them anyway, we might as well be getting something done. A lot of things are portable. Younger dc can do math facts or spelling without even carting books around and older dc can bring their own books. At the very least, they can do free reading. They do not have to run around screaming or climb all over the bleachers while older sister plays soccer. That's another thing that results in me being frazzled while they are fine.

 

Another good use of that time is walking the dog. Even if it's only a half hour class, we can leave the car there and go for a walk. If there's not at least an hour, the deadline phenomena didn't make it worthwhile to go anywhere, especially when I had to put kids in car-seats.

[....]

Yep. We have this situation too. We're taking enrichment classes (Texas History, Science thru Literature and another science class) and we do Cub Scouts, Brownies, Daisies, Gymnastics and one of my kids spends time in art studios. My son will also pick up Baseball in late winter/early spring. :glare:

 

It really does get ridiculous. I think the biggest time-consumer is Cub Scouts...that one's a big committment. :svengo:

[NanceXToo]

LOL I hear you.

 

My 4 year old is in gymnastics every Wednesday from 4:30-5:30.

 

My 9 year old is also in gymnastics every Wednesday, hers is from 4:30-6:00.

She is also in Girl Scouts, every Thursday from 6:00-7:30.

She's also going to be in a few "temporary" activities, like a fifth grade book club at the local library that will run for a few months.

 

Both of them will probably join the winter/spring homeschooling bowling league again, and that's weekly.

 

My oldest does Special Olympic sports and two days a week I have to pick her up at school (20 min away).

 

I go to a weekly weight loss support group and now I'm trying to fit in workouts at a gym, too.

 

Plus we do all sorts of outings and field trips with the homeschool group.

 

So I'm constantly running and sometimes the thought of that is what's exhausting, not what any given child is doing, and I wonder if it's going to seem even worse in a couple of months- especially mid winter!

[oldskool]

We are in the same boat. I am already dreading getting out of the house to all of the activities in our January below zero weather :tongue_smilie:.

[patchfire]

I understand! My oldest, especially, has something going on almost every day. There are enough weeks, though, where at least one thing won't happen, that I'm not completely panicked... yet. I feel good about all the things she's doing, though, and I purposely planned for no more than one day to involve things prior to 1 pm. I hope that will help keep ME sane. :)

[jujsky]

Oh, I completely understand where you're coming from. I did the same thing last year for the same reasons and completely stressed myself out. They're actually in more activities this year, but the schedule is easier (a few back-to-back activities) so I have more time for me. Just let out that primal scream that's building inside. I know you want to ;)

[Dobela]

I think we all do that from time to time. I made the mistake of scheduling all of ds activities in the morning, and then all of dd's activities in the afternoons. So, 4 days each week my son has activities that morning, we have a short lunch break, and then dd has hers. Fortunately my ds doesn't mind doing his school work at Captain D's, but still...I should have been thinking better.

[hillfarm]

So unsign them up. Call the group or organization and tell them that your plans have changed and that you will not be attending.

 

Children who are overly tired don't fully enjoy all their activities, even though they are fun, interesting ones, so a portion of the time and money invested is wasted, not to mention that it may be buying negative results like a cranky child who is on the way to developing a very superficial attitude toward life because of so much popping around from this to that. And an over-stressed mother puts a damper on much of daily life. No time to look for shapes in the clouds! We have to run, run, run to be on time for XXX!

 

I got caught up in this at one point, but came to the realization that I needed to leave some cool experiences and fun things for dd to discover later in her life. She didn't need to have them all under her belt by the time she was 10. And we have all been much happier since I made that choice. She has learned how to be alone with herself, to find her own entertainment like reading a book or nature drawings. Of course, we still keep up with a few commitments, but they are restricted to a manageable number that enriches, not exhausts any of us.

[Melinda TX]

Commiserating with you.

We have: Gymnastics - 2 days for 3 hours each

Dance - 3 days for 2 hours each

Fencing - 1 night for 2 hours

tennis - 1 day for 1 hour

Boys Scouts - 1 night for 2 hours, plus campouts and service projects

Cub Scouts - 1 night for 2 hours

Awana - 1 night 2 hours

I work at a bookstore one day a week for about 5 hours

Praise team dance practice - 1 day 2-3 hours

 

I am so mentally worn out from just keeping up with our schedule, I can barely get through the school day! (I am hs two, and two are in PS)

 

For the first time in 7 years, we are not in a co-op, but I have opted to out-source one class each for my two hs. They also do TT, which cuts down on the prep time for school.

 

I think I need a nap.:w00t:

[specialmama]

We're in the same boat. However, this is a season for us. It's actually what we wanted for this year. Our goals for each year kind of shift and evolve, and this year we wanted to focus on a few things my dd felt she wanted to experience.

[Peela]

We have had years where we did a lot. Much more than I see most poeple here doing. However, I don't regret any of it.

I did learn how to make good use of the time. I would knit if I wanted to socialise. I would go for exercise- just walking, sometimes do my yoga if we were in a park- alone or with another mum or two, while a class was happening. Sometimes I would have naps in my car. And often I would go shopping or exploring the area where the class was. The years we did science classes had a great Ikea and several other things that I wouldn't normally get to.

It was a relief in February to realise we were not going to continue our last class- a science class for ds....and we let go of years of attending homeschool classes. I love it! They still do Scouts and gymnastics, but they are evenings- our days are free. But, I would never want to do all those years of classes any differently- many, many good memories for us all.

[musicianmom]

We're probably in too many activities this year also. But it's working for us so far. We all get bored and cranky if we're at home too much.

[mycalling]

I started to do the same and opted out of co-op at the last second...so glad I came to my senses. We have 5 in sports this season, which totals 12 practices plus 5-6 games a week in multiple places. Did I mention I'm 36wks pregnant dragging a 2 and 3yo to everything? Fun times.:svengo:When I realize this is as easy as it's going to get from now on, I get a bit panicky.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: My only concern would be the precedent you are setting. You have what 2 or 3 children in activities now? What about when you add the 4th? Will you still be able to run at this pace and do school? Are they content to operate in this manner or will one of their personalities balk at being so mobile?

 

Not questions you need to answer to me, but things that would be going through my head. Of course, I am a homebody and my body resists if we're out too many days of the week.

[zaichiki]

We have 4 kids, so it always feels like a lot when we do *any*thing. :D

 

I also overschedule. I do it *every* fall (except last year when I scheduled only 2 afternoons -- with a newborn and a kid in school we physically couldn't do more and it was GOOD for my 8 y.o. to have so much more continuous attention).

 

I've overscheduled again this year -- here is our weekly breakdown which doesn't include driving nearly an hour each way for most of it

 

music related lessons/classes - 5 hours

co-op - 7 hours

knowledge bowl team - 2 hours

swimming - an hour every other week

 

I realize it's nuts. This is just fall of course. We schedule less in the winter.

[ChristusG]

Wow, I don't know how you guys do it! I dread weekly committed activities. Right now we have church on Wdenesday nights, homeshool group on Wednesday during the day from 10-2. And next month DD6 will be starting visual/auditory therapy that is 45 minutes from home. That's my limit LOL. I thought about putting older DD in an art class and younger DD in a tumbling class but I know I wont stay committed. My kids are youn and prefer to be home anyways.

[Firestar Academy]

ummm, yeah... my kids love going from one thing to another. makes me tired. Mostly dancing and scouts.

 

So this year we gave up school:001_huh: (public school that is). it is one of the reasons we homeschool now (waaaay at the bottom of the list). Really, we feel that kids need time to explore their activities. Public school was interfering:lol:....

 

Robin

[mycalling]

 

So this year we gave up school:001_huh: (public school that is). it is one of the reasons we homeschool now (waaaay at the bottom of the list). Really, we feel that kids need time to explore their activities. Public school was interfering:lol:....

I've often thought that there is no way I could keep up with this and speech/dr/dent/ortho appointments for everyone if my kids were PSing. That would be a hectic life. When do these parents spend time with their kids besides on the drive to and from anything?? How sad.

[Firestar Academy]

I've often thought that there is no way I could keep up with this and speech/dr/dent/ortho appointments for everyone if my kids were PSing. That would be a hectic life. When do these parents spend time with their kids besides on the drive to and from anything?? How sad.

 

 

It was sad, amd I was always yelling, "let's go!!"

seriously, we are at the dance studio 7 hours a week. Last year it was spread out over 3 days. this year only 2 days but 4 hours on wed and 3 hours on thurs.

 

I love the look I get when I tell people we gave up school to fit in the after SCHOOL activites!!

 

It goes along with the look I get when I people ask me about testing my kids, and I say "who is going to test them?? the same government who is screwing up the ps kids?!" no thanks!

 

robin in NJ

[laurad1125]

 

It really does get ridiculous. I think the biggest time-consumer is Cub Scouts...that one's a big committment. :svengo:

 

 

But it's only an hour a week, right? :smilielol5:

[Matryoshka]

I am totally overcommitted yet again. We have activities seven days a week. :willy_nilly::svengo:

 

Mon: An afternoon coop, orchestra, possibly math club

Tues: Ballet

Weds: Ballet, Skating, Synchronized skating

Thurs: Ballet, Drama

Fri: Bi-weekly science coop, Ballet, Robotics club

Sat: German Sat School

Sun: Church (and I'm teaching middle school RE!), Robotics club

 

There's actually more than this - I teach Spanish twice a week, but I'd be doing for my own kids even if others weren't coming to my house for it. I was contemplating a free Science Club for Girls on Sat afternoons, but I'm thinking that may be insane.

 

And I'm trying to squash art in - it may be Tues before ballet, or Weds after Skating moves to Thurs. Robotics club and syncrhonized skating are over in November. But then one dd will probably take volleyball in the spring...

[Deb in NZ]

We have activities daily, but by my second year hs/ing I made the decision to keep our mornings for "school." It has to be a very, special activity (& a one-off, not on-going activity) for me to commit us before lunch. Dd moved away to school in February & that took tons of activities (or so it seems) from our weekly timetable. I've always had each dc in at least one music activity, one physical activity, & one social activity + one of the activities must be a "team" activity. One season dd's "team" activity was concert band ;) This year our schedule seems less hectic, even though we are still running daily. I think that is because dd was in many different activities that met only once a week, where as my boys have sport practice almost daily, scouts, & music lessons only. Since ds#1 got his driver's license in July, life seems down right relaxed :lol: Our weekends are full, due to our scout & rep. sport commitments, but scouts is a family affair for us, as dh & I are leaders, so that is our "family time."

 

Our weekly current timetable:

M---2:00-2:30 violin lesson (ds#2)

3:30-5:30 gymnastics (ds#1)

4:30-5:30 rep. hockey practice (ds#2)

6:30-8:30 scouts

T---9:00-2:30 polytech (ds#1)

3:45-5:30 club hockey practice (ds#2)

W---8:00-4:30 Mech. Engineering at 'Tec (ds#1)

4:00-6:00 gymnastics (ds#1)

4:30-6:00 rep. hockey practice (ds#2)

6:30-8:00 collegiate hockey practice (ds#2)

TH---8:00-4:30 Mech. Engineering at 'Tec (ds#1)

5:00-7:00 gymnastics (ds#1)

7:30-8:30 drum lesson (ds#1)

F---8:00-4:30 Mech. Engineering at 'Tec (ds#1)

4:00-6:00 gymnastics (ds#1)

5:00-6:00 club hockey game (ds#2)

weekends: rep. hockey games (ds#2), gymnastics competitions (ds#1), scout activities (ds#1 & ds#2), etc.

 

Things I've found helpful for surviving the busy season...

 

• Make a weekly assignment sheet for each dc & note which assignments could easily be done (either independently or with you) while waiting for another dc to finish an activity.
  
• If you have activities during PS hours, you may need to do "school" after PS hours.
  
• Streamline your "school" as much as possible during the extrememly busy times.
  
• Look at what activities can count as school (i.e. doing a cub badge on meterology could count as "science", weekly swim lessons are PE, piano lessons are music, etc.)
  
• For older children's activities, carpool with another family if possible.
  
• Make a menu & use a crockpot for healthy, easy dinners.
  
• Whenever practical & possible combine dc in the same activities. (life got so much simpler for me when ds#2 was old enough to be in scouts with ds#1 & on the same sport team as ds#1)
  
• Don't volunteer to be on every committee or lead every activity. Sometimes you need to be the mom that simply drops off your dc & pays the necessary fees for the activities
  
• Take a deep breath & enjoy this season. All too soon dc grow up & leave home.
  

 

 

Blessings,

Edited September 11, 2010 by Deb in NZ

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

Mon: DD - gym from 1 to 6

Tues: DD+DS - swim&gym from 2 to 3h30

Wed: DD- gym from 1 to 6

DS - violin from 1 to 2

Thurs: DD - gym from 1 to 6

Fri: DD - gym from 1 to 6

Sat:

Sun: DS - orchestra from 10 to noon

 

 

DS is currently under scheduled because the synchronised swimming teams are not finalised yet. But he would have to add about 10 hours at the pool, possibly 12 and more. We will know on Wednesday.

[Guest janainaz]

It just depends wether you signed your kids up for them, or for you.

[Elizabeth in WA]

Well, ds12 does gymnastics 20 hours/week not including meets and privates before major meets. Dd8 does gymnastics 10 hours a week and goes to Tae Kwon Do with ds14 and ds10 another 3-7 hours a week depending on how many classes we do on Tuesday and Thursday. Lately we've been doing 5 hours/week and ds12 has been ditching gymnastics to join us for some of that. We do Tae Kwon Do a short walk away from gymnastics so he has that option whenever he chooses. So, every weekday evening and Saturday morning we are out, BUT nothing starts before 4 PM so unless dc drag their feet through their work we are done with school and then some by the time we leave the house.

 

Gymnastics exhausts me often, but I was the driving force behind adding Tae Kwon Do since I wanted my non gymnasts to have some exercise and organized social contact as well. Having them close together limits the number of trips I have to make out which helps a lot.