Aspergers--any adults familiar?

[novagirl]

Someone was talking to me about Aspergers Syndrome and some of the symptoms seemed awefully like my life....so..I found an online test and took it and I scored at the threshold of an extreme score. I do have some mild ocd tendencies as well as terrible social skills that are getting better now that I am an adult among a few other similiarities.

 

Well, I guess what I am asking is what can I do as an adult? I am not the type who would really go and see a mental health professional, you know? I just wondered if there were any other adults with apergers out there and what they did.

[newlifemom]

I don't have any answers for you, but can you link the test? I imagine that I would have been dx'd if I were a child now. :tongue_smilie:

[novagirl]

sure!

 

http://www.piepalace.ca/blog/asperger-test-aq-test/

 

Of course they say not to use the test as a diagnosis...but it is somewhere to start I guess

[newlifemom]

Thnks

[2cents]

My adult brother has Aspbergers. He is working and living an independent life. There is quite a lot of variation in the whole spectrum of Aspbergers, from low level function to very high functioning. There are a many people who might qualify as higher functioning but because of that have never had an actual diagnosis. As a result, the statistics of those with it are fairly unreliable. If you suspect you have Aspbergers, the only way to really know is to have a qualified physician (one who specializes in Aspbergers-not just autism). Aspbergers also mimics other conditions so an official diagnosis is the best route. If you do have it, there is probably not much you can do to 'cure' it. It isn't something you cure but you can understand it better and help others too. Many very successful people have Aspbergers. It is IMO more of a personality type rather than anything else.

[novagirl]

My adult brother has Aspbergers. He is working and living an independent life. There is quite a lot of variation in the whole spectrum of Aspbergers, from low level function to very high functioning. There are a many people who might qualify as higher functioning but because of that have never had an actual diagnosis. As a result, the statistics of those with it are fairly unreliable. If you suspect you have Aspbergers, the only way to really know is to have a qualified physician (one who specializes in Aspbergers-not just autism). Aspbergers also mimics other conditions so an official diagnosis is the best route. If you do have it, there is probably not much you can do to 'cure' it. It isn't something you cure but you can understand it better and help others too. Many very successful people have Aspbergers. It is IMO more of a personality type rather than anything else.

 

 

Thanks! This is helpful!!!

[Sahamamama]

Yes, one of my good friends has Aspergers, and so does her oldest son. What Joy has said is that she always knew that she was "different," but had no idea why. She also felt growing up that her father was detached. It turned out that years later, he also had Asperger's. Joy said that learning this made a lot of sense -- made a lot of hurts go away and so many things fall into place. She could also see her father's pulling away in her own behavior with her children, in her son's behavior with everyone, and it helped them all to monitor their self-isolating tendencies. I think that Joy is very outgoing (not shy at all), and seems at ease in social situations, BUT she does have some quirks. ;)

 

One of the things that I've had to get used to with Joy is her bluntness. She is so direct, I mean there's just no tactfulness to what she says, but that really IS a part of her personality. What helped me was that my sister was good friends with Joy before I ever met her, and my sister explained it to me. ;) She just said, "Joy is blunt, that's who she is." And this was long before Joy had any children, or any of us knew anything at all about Aspergers. She is not unkind or abrasive. It's hard to explain.....

 

I mean, you just know that you can enjoy being with her, there is not any element of meanness EVER to anything she says. But she SAYS whatever is going through her brain and I can't for the life of me imagine saying half of it out loud in public. She is not embarrassed. Joy doesn't notice when she is blunt, but she does know that she is because other people have told her. She can talk openly about her own condition, her son's, and her father's.

 

Joy can't stand to eat fruit. She doesn't like the texture. She can't stand to eat some other foods, but I'm not certain which ones.

 

She says that she hears EVERYTHING -- every single background noise in the room, the clock, the watch ticking, the refrigerator motor, the fan, the hum of the computer, the street traffic, the dog barking a mile away.... all of it, and she can NOT filter it out. She sleeps with a fan on, but so do a million other people.

 

Joy's house is completely disorganized, all the time, for years. I have never seen it looking neat or organized. She says she simply can't figure out how. She says she starts with a stack in one spot and by the time she is "done," she's just moved it all to another spot. She doesn't try to organize any more. The house is a mess, but she is an excellent cook and an AMAZING baker... AND her kitchen is clean. I have always eaten anything she makes! :D

 

Another thing about Joy is that she is ALWAYS late. Always.

 

Her children are adorable, smart, sweet, funny, and very bright (all five of them). They are fantastic students, avid readers, loving of each other, helpful and kind. The oldest, a boy, has always been a bit "unlike" other children. When he was little, Joy and her husband grew more and more concerned about him. Finally, he was diagnosed with Asperger's. I think he's in regular public school, I know all the other school-aged children are. Her oldest son is sweet (16 now), he just doesn't respond much to people outside of his immediate family. His sisters (13, 3) and brothers (10, 5) do not manifest any of the characteristics of Asperger's.

 

My husband's cousin also has Asperger's. I don't know her well, but my husband says that Bianca has always had a hard time in social situations. The family has never known what part of this might be attributed to the Asperger's and what part to the fact that she is also an albino. She LOOKS different from others, and always has to be aware of the sun (lives in southern CA), and so on. There are many family factors at work in her personality, also. But from what I've seen, she's possessive of my husband -- so she doesn't like me much, because I took him away! :D

 

HTH. Mention this to your physician. I know I would.

Edited August 2, 2010 by Sahamamama

[Laura Corin]

sure!

 

http://www.piepalace.ca/blog/asperger-test-aq-test/

 

Of course they say not to use the test as a diagnosis...but it is somewhere to start I guess

 

I scored 27. A lot of that was from being introverted though, rather than more specific Aspie traits.

 

Laura

[JFSinIL]

I got a 33 - not surprising. I was more severe when younger - but way back then, no one was using the Aspergers label. I am far more social here and on Facebook than in "real" life ;-)

[Stacy in NJ]

This is suppose to be the best book discussing it:http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome/dp/1843106698/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1280781875&sr=8-1

 

 

Here's a really interesting article by a guy who was diagnosed as an adult. He was the Washington Post's music critic for a long time.

 

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113744905

[K&Rs Mom]

My dh is one, and has worked hard for years to overcome it (with great success, actually). Here is a blog post he wrote about it. HTH PM me if you want to know more - leaving in an hour for vacation and may not check back on the general board.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

I got a 33 - not surprising. I was more severe when younger - but way back then, no one was using the Aspergers label. I am far more social here and on Facebook than in "real" life ;-)

 

I got a 37 but :iagree:. I'm also much more social online than in real life.

I was told by one counsellor that I had Aspergers... but I never pursued it in therapy.

 

To the OP... I've worked really hard to overcome my natural inclinations to be introverted. Especially since I homeschool my daughter, it is important for me to get out there and be in social situations. She's too young to do it on her own! So I really make a concious effort to speak with other moms and make playdates and such.

 

When it comes to myself... well, I don't really need to change. I'm perfectly happy alone... don't need many friends. I have a few close friends I can count on to be there when I need them, and they understand that often I will not be around for periods of time while I withdraw.

 

I also have found certain places/times when I am able to open up and talk. Like in a classroom. I am very confident in class, ironically I'm usually the one who always has something to say. You know the one... the one the other students hate! :tongue_smilie:Luckily my professors love me, since I actually answer their questions and further the discussion when others sit there trying to secretly text or otherwise not paying attention. I'm also able to talk online. Behind my computer screen I'm really social. (as if you haven't figured that out already by this long post! :lol:)

[novagirl]

I got a 37 but :iagree:. I'm also much more social online than in real life.

I was told by one counsellor that I had Aspergers... but I never pursued it in therapy.

 

To the OP... I've worked really hard to overcome my natural inclinations to be introverted. Especially since I homeschool my daughter, it is important for me to get out there and be in social situations. She's too young to do it on her own! So I really make a concious effort to speak with other moms and make playdates and such.

 

When it comes to myself... well, I don't really need to change. I'm perfectly happy alone... don't need many friends. I have a few close friends I can count on to be there when I need them, and they understand that often I will not be around for periods of time while I withdraw.

 

I also have found certain places/times when I am able to open up and talk. Like in a classroom. I am very confident in class, ironically I'm usually the one who always has something to say. You know the one... the one the other students hate! :tongue_smilie:Luckily my professors love me, since I actually answer their questions and further the discussion when others sit there trying to secretly text or otherwise not paying attention. I'm also able to talk online. Behind my computer screen I'm really social. (as if you haven't figured that out already by this long post! :lol:)

 

Thank you for saying this--I too am working hard on this....just because we do homeschool and I know my childrens needs ..good to know I am not alone!

[MorganClassicalPrep]

Thank you for saying this--I too am working hard on this....just because we do homeschool and I know my childrens needs ..good to know I am not alone!

 

:grouphug: Well THANK YOU for responding. It is nice to know I'm not alone! I know that DD needs to be out with other kids (even more so, because she is an only) but it is such a struggle for me.

[lllll]

..

[Denisemomof4]

Someone was talking to me about Aspergers Syndrome and some of the symptoms seemed awefully like my life....so..I found an online test and took it and I scored at the threshold of an extreme score. I do have some mild ocd tendencies as well as terrible social skills that are getting better now that I am an adult among a few other similiarities.

 

Well, I guess what I am asking is what can I do as an adult? I am not the type who would really go and see a mental health professional, you know? I just wondered if there were any other adults with apergers out there and what they did.

 

Look to see if there is an Aspergers Association near you. They will be your best resource. Mental health professionals won't help, it's not a mental illness! And please, if you're WORRIED you may have it, DON'T worry. Someone near and dear to me has AS and it is a gift, it is NOT a hindrance. I see mostly positive traits because of it.

 

AA has a lot to offer. I checked into it. There are gatherings only for Aspies, gatherings only for couples, gatherings for families. THere are social groups and outings to teach social skills. The AA in New England is very active and even has an online support group.

[Farrar]

I scored 39. :001_huh: Are you sure this test differentiates between introverts and Aspies? :confused:

 

I was curious so I took it. I consider myself to be pretty strongly introverted and I scored a 14. Then again, I am also a fairly outgoing introvert - I enjoy people. I need to be alone a lot, I need to be with people too, just a lot less.

 

I have some experience with aspie kids when I was teaching. I count them among some of my favorite students of all time - quirky, but wonderful to teach.

[Geek]

<raises hand slowly> I scored 42, but I do know how to manipulate those tests so I'm never sure how precise my score is. On a different day I could have scored lower or even higher. Here's another good self-diagnosis quiz, on which I will score "borderline" if I keep all my learned adaptations in mind but " definitely aspie" if I put those adaptations aside for the quiz. (e.g. Imagining how I'd react when stressed or tired, or when I was younger and hadn't adapted so much.) My mom taught me a LOT growing up so I've adapted to the point that most people would never suspect it about me...until they get to know me. They just think I'm a total geek. :tongue_smilie:

 

Asperger's runs in my father's family like the plague: every male for three generations and about 75% of females. To put things in perspective: I have a first cousin who is EXACTLY like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory, right down to the PhD in particle physics from Caltech at an early age.

 

We would be a researcher's dream except for compliance issues and denial. :lol:

 

It is IMO more of a personality type rather than anything else.

I disagree. I think it's how a person's brain is organized, which affects in turn how they organize all of their experiences. The personality quirks are a side effect.

 

My dh is one, and has worked hard for years to overcome it (with great success, actually).

Bravo. It IS hard work. People who have brains that are organized in a fashion more conducive to concrete, daily existence have no freaking idea how lucky they are wrt simple functioning. Every. single. day. is a concrete minefield for those whose brains are organized in a fashion that is highly conducive to the abstract but not the concrete. Adaptations are like a good map to get through a day, but the map can always be misplaced.

 

Mental health professionals won't help, it's not a mental illness! And please, if you're WORRIED you may have it, DON'T worry. Someone near and dear to me has AS and it is a gift, it is NOT a hindrance. I see mostly positive traits because of it.

Thank you for this. :001_smile:

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 3, 2010 by Geek

[DarlaS]

I scored 39. :001_huh: Are you sure this test differentiates between introverts and Aspies? :confused:

 

Probably not from the look of the questions.

 

Just out of curiosity, anyone know their personality type and take this test also? I scored a 34 and am ISTJ (very low score on the S).

[The Girls' Mom]

Asperger's runs in my father's family like the plague: every male for three generations and about 75% of females.

 

 

 

It runs in my dh's family too...although there has only been one official diagnosis. I have strong suspicions that my dh, my MIL and one of my dd's are all on the spectrum. My dd has many of the exact issues that the one diagnosed cousin has, we just never had her tested. I just took the test for dd...she scored a 37.

 

We continually work on some of her 'issues' without calling them that. She's obsessed with cats, she hates organized activities (camps, group classes, most sports, etc) She is often shy. She can't understand other people's feelings well. But we've always just helped her work through things like that without sticking a label on them.

[Guest Katia]

I scored 36. I'm INFJ.

 

I am also much more social here and on FB than IRL.

[Geek]

INTP here.

[RoughCollie]

I am an INFP.

 

I scored 7.

 

One of my sons has AS and I am certain DH does, given that they are nearly exactly alike in their many "quirks".

[Guest]

Both my daughter and my husband are Aspies, and I can trace it with no trouble in my husband's family: mother, brother, niece and nephew.

 

My daughter, who was diagnosed at age eight and has been in various therapies, has overcome a lot of her sensory and social issues. She remains inhibited in public, unsure and VERY slow to join in, but has strong social desires -- this is very different from an introvert. She still has some remaining physical problems, orienting herself in space, coordinating her movements.

 

My husband's Aspieness is less physically based, and shows up quite a bit more in terms of executive function problems. He is massively disorganized and finds it hard to finish work on schedule. Everything gets done at the last minute or over deadline, which can make everyone around him frantic and frustrated at times. But he is a full professor of chemistry.

 

The best advice I can give you is to read around in some books about Asperger's; there are more and more published every month. Tony Attwood's book, The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, was mentioned by one poster and is the standard in the field. Check out Jessica Kingsley publications:

http://www.jpk.com

A handful of books from the library will give you a lot of insight into what Asperger's looks like in various people and how you might fit into that spectrum.

 

I have read several times that if a person is adolescent or older and suddenly stumbles upon a definition or discussion of Asperger's, that person is generally hugely, enormously, unbelievably relieved: it explains so much, and it isn't some kind of personality flaw or fault, it's neurological -- the guilt and fear and feelings of enormous differentness lift. Knowing does not solve everything, of course; but almost without exception people report being unimaginably relieved at having this path to understand themselves and accept how they think and live.

 

I might add, as the lone neurotypical in my own family, that it is also tremendously helpful to the partner or parent to understand that the Aspie's behavior is not something they choose or even control, but part of a wiring pattern that is just different from the norm. It makes a tremendous difference in trying to figure out how to manage with people who don't react in the way I as a neurotypical just assume they will. (Again, it doesn't make everything perfect, but it helps enormously.)

[Alicia64]

I'm an INFJ too.

 

I'm looking into Asbergers a lot these days b/c I think my lack of knowledge has made it hard to be w/ my husband.

 

He's so smart, but so "off."

 

The hardest thing (well, of a couple actually) is when people look at me like, "why are you with him?"

 

He's very successful, takes wonderful care of us but most of my friends just don't get him at all.

 

It really hurts to see that look.

 

Alley

[Parrothead]

Out of curiosity I took the test and scored 28. I'm very introverted and have been told it comes across as something other than shyness.

 

I don't' remember all the letters in the personality type. I was the first and a J was in there somewhere.

[newlifemom]

Well I took both tests linked here. On the first one, 14 so no real sign of AS. On the other [more comprehensive IMHO] I was very much AS. Interesting. My son is not dx'd, but we think he may have it. However, he was dx'd with Sensory Integration Disorder and I have heard that the two are very similar with symptoms. I 'know' I have SID, self dx, and have since wondered about AS. Don't know if I want to take it further. Everyone who knows me, well, they get the "to know me is to love me" thing. :tongue_smilie: Although, maybe having the title would help with the awkward pauses after I say something completely inappropriate. :D

[asta]

I got a 33 - not surprising. I was more severe when younger - but way back then, no one was using the Aspergers label. I am far more social here and on Facebook than in "real" life ;-)

 

This is something the tests can't take into account: when you're an adult, you've had to learn coping skills to operate in an NT world if you are to be at all successful. Those who have not learned such skills are left behind. Therefore, adults who have learned those skills will have lower scores than those who have not. JFS probably had a much higher score as a child.

 

I (not so humorously) call it the "got it beat out of me in the 70s" Asperger's.

 

And it is Asperger's, after Hans Asperger. Not Asberger's.

 

 

asta

Edited August 3, 2010 by asta

[Geek]

This is something the tests can't take into account: when you're an adult, you've had to learn coping skills to operate in an NT world if you are to be at all successful. Those who have not learned such skills are left behind. Therefore, adults who have learned those skills will have lower scores than those who have not. JFS probably had a much higher score as a child.

 

I (not so humorously) call it the "got it beat out of me in the 70s" Asperger's.

 

And it is Asperger's, after Hans Asperger. Not Asberger's.

 

 

asta

I can really relate. I take the tests with that in mind, though.

 

Try out the test I linked above and take it twice: once with all of your adaptations in mind, then again as though you are very tired and your adaptations have all gone out the window.

[JFSinIL]

This is something the tests can't take into account: when you're an adult, you've had to learn coping skills to operate in an NT world if you are to be at all successful. Those who have not learned such skills are left behind. Therefore, adults who have learned those skills will have lower scores than those who have not. JFS probably had a much higher score as a child.

 

I (not so humorously) call it the "got it beat out of me in the 70s" Asperger's.

 

And it is Asperger's, after Hans Asperger. Not Asberger's.

 

 

asta

 

What made the biggest difference in my ability to function in the NT world was my two years in a graduate dorm at UCLA. I flat out STUDIED the other kids in that social fishbowl, made some major social gaffes along the way...it was the best and worst of times. I still have to stay fully aware of myself and my reactions in any social situation to stay "on task"....which is why I prefer to stay home on the 'puter or with my nose in a book. I have ONE female friend - we met back when our little boys were seeing the same neuro for their autism/seizures. She is very much like me.

 

I am relieved that three of my four kids seem far more neuro-typical than I was.

[Mona100]

I took both quizzes. The score for the original quiz was a 39 and the second quiz score was a 158 out of 200. I have always known I had trouble with social cues; that is one of the reasons I am single and probably will stay single. I just don't get the dating game. Also, I have issues with looking people in the eye when I am talking to them but I have gotten better at that. I always knew I was different but for the past several years I have had the suspicion that I could be classified as an Aspie.

 

I will look and see if there is an adult group for Aspie in my area. I would love to know who else out there is like this.

 

I am glad you guys have posted these quizzes even though they are not diagnostic.

[pdalley]

This is something the tests can't take into account: when you're an adult, you've had to learn coping skills to operate in an NT world if you are to be at all successful. Those who have not learned such skills are left behind. Therefore, adults who have learned those skills will have lower scores than those who have not. JFS probably had a much higher score as a child.

 

I (not so humorously) call it the "got it beat out of me in the 70s" Asperger's.

 

And it is Asperger's, after Hans Asperger. Not Asberger's.

 

 

asta

:iagree:

 

I wouldn't qualify for a diagnosis now but as a child it fit me to a 'T'. I read a lot and studied people to learn social cues. However, if you put me in a room of nothing but women I would make a gaffe. I still cannot understand the subtle things about women or the games some of them play.

 

Asta, They tried to 'beat' it out of me too. Didn't work. But it did keep me from repeating their mistakes with my own Aspies. We have three and if we had four kids we'd likely have four Aspies. My husband is a fire alarm engineer and sees things in ways I can't understand - square footage - lines, etc.

[HalonaD]

Got a 40. Took the one Geek linked, got a 151/200, "very likely Aspie." I'm highly introverted (IxTJ, btw, flip-flop between N/S depending on the situation), and have social anxiety. I was in the military for 8 years and thrived in that atmosphere. But put me in a group of women and I'm lost and miserable. And like Mona100, I have trouble looking someone in the eye; I have to force myself to, and then start to go crazy thinking I'm now staring too much, lol. I can act "normal" for the most part, but usually need a few days to recuperate afterward.

[Parrothead]

Got a 40. Took the one Geek linked, got a 151/200, "very likely Aspie." I'm highly introverted (IxTJ, btw, flip-flop between N/S depending on the situation), and have social anxiety. I was in the military for 8 years and thrived in that atmosphere. But put me in a group of women and I'm lost and miserable. And like Mona100, I have trouble looking someone in the eye; I have to force myself to, and then start to go crazy thinking I'm now staring too much, lol. I can act "normal" for the most part, but usually need a few days to recuperate afterward.

This is so me especially about getting along with a group of women. I always thought it was because of my early work environment. Me and 11 guys on my shift and Me and 44 guys as a firefighter. I got their humor.

[lllll]

..

[dcurry]

There's really nothing you can do except learn about it, and feel better that you are not alone in your tendencies. God makes us all different, and you have some unique abilities and characteristics. Do your best with what you have.

 

Knowing your weaknesses, you may want to take steps to overcome them, or at least teach your children about them... for example, signing them up for a play group once/week, or a PE class, or something else that you know you have a hard time with.

 

It's not like a mental illness. But there are things you can do once you are aware of your own personal tendencies. There are many books out there about it.

 

Take advantage of and use your strengths.

[kiana]

lol, 148 on the second test. Not surprising though.

 

ETA: 168. typo.

Edited August 7, 2010 by kiana

[Geek]

 

lol, 148 on the second test. Not surprising though.

What did your graph look like on the one I shared? Mine looked like a bat on the right side of the circle, LOL.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I'm an INFJ too.

 

I'm looking into Asbergers a lot these days b/c I think my lack of knowledge has made it hard to be w/ my husband.

 

He's so smart, but so "off."

 

The hardest thing (well, of a couple actually) is when people look at me like, "why are you with him?"

 

He's very successful, takes wonderful care of us but most of my friends just don't get him at all.

 

It really hurts to see that look.

 

Alley

 

This hit home for me. My dh has so many good qualities, but he is just so awkward at some things. He is very social when it comes to his work, but at home, he spends great amounts of time in the basement by himself. He doesn't mind if the kids hang out with him, but he barely comes up to hang out with other people who are over our house-even his own siblings and mother. His reactions to things are sometimes strange, and he is very sensitive to smells, noises, extremely picky eater, etc. He can't deal with large crowds at all. I'm very social, love hanging out with friends and family and love to experience new things all the time. Many people don't understand how dh and I can be together and comment about it. DH's brother is even worse- severely Aspie, bordering on full-blown autism. I remember a conversation about BIL's vinyl record collection that I thought would never end. :tongue_smilie:

 

Now that ds1 has some of these same issues, I'd really like to know if dh is an adult Aspie, or just socially awkward. I read about about sensory processing disorders and that seemed to explain dh to a T.

 

P.S. I scored 14 on that test, so definitely more extroverted.

[Geek]

 

P.S. I scored 14 on that test, so definitely more extroverted.

Neurotypical, not extroverted. Not all introverts are aspies, and there are extroverted aspies - my son is one.

[Shawna in Texas]

What did your graph look like on the one I shared? Mine looked like a bat on the right side of the circle, LOL.

 

This is all very confusing to me. I scored a 126. Mine looked kinda like a bat, if one of its wings were folded inward. One wing goes from the 'talent' between intellectual and aspie, to the social on aspie. Then it spreads to 'perception' between physical and neurotypical. It cuts off at hunting (instead of going all the way to 'communication' at neurotypical to do a full bat).

 

I figure some of the questions could be answered the way I did because of introversion, but there were a few questions that pushed the introversion excuse back to did a little deeper (meaning I'm only really comfortable looking only a handful of people in the eye and besides my husband and kids, I've only known these people my whole life). I blame just about all my weirdness on being introverted, but I don't feel that's it.

 

eta: I scored a 34 on the other.

Edited August 6, 2010 by Shawna in Texas

[Geo]

Yes, one of my good friends has Aspergers, and so does her oldest son. What Joy has said is that she always knew that she was "different," but had no idea why. She also felt growing up that her father was detached. It turned out that years later, he also had Asperger's. Joy said that learning this made a lot of sense -- made a lot of hurts go away and so many things fall into place. She could also see her father's pulling away in her own behavior with her children, in her son's behavior with everyone, and it helped them all to monitor their self-isolating tendencies. I think that Joy is very outgoing (not shy at all), and seems at ease in social situations, BUT she does have some quirks. ;)

 

One of the things that I've had to get used to with Joy is her bluntness. She is so direct, I mean there's just no tactfulness to what she says, but that really IS a part of her personality. What helped me was that my sister was good friends with Joy before I ever met her, and my sister explained it to me. ;) She just said, "Joy is blunt, that's who she is." And this was long before Joy had any children, or any of us knew anything at all about Aspergers. She is not unkind or abrasive. It's hard to explain.....

 

I mean, you just know that you can enjoy being with her, there is not any element of meanness EVER to anything she says. But she SAYS whatever is going through her brain and I can't for the life of me imagine saying half of it out loud in public. She is not embarrassed. Joy doesn't notice when she is blunt, but she does know that she is because other people have told her. She can talk openly about her own condition, her son's, and her father's.

 

Joy can't stand to eat fruit. She doesn't like the texture. She can't stand to eat some other foods, but I'm not certain which ones.

 

She says that she hears EVERYTHING -- every single background noise in the room, the clock, the watch ticking, the refrigerator motor, the fan, the hum of the computer, the street traffic, the dog barking a mile away.... all of it, and she can NOT filter it out. She sleeps with a fan on, but so do a million other people.

 

Joy's house is completely disorganized, all the time, for years. I have never seen it looking neat or organized. She says she simply can't figure out how. She says she starts with a stack in one spot and by the time she is "done," she's just moved it all to another spot. She doesn't try to organize any more. The house is a mess, but she is an excellent cook and an AMAZING baker... AND her kitchen is clean. I have always eaten anything she makes! :D

 

Another thing about Joy is that she is ALWAYS late. Always.

 

Her children are adorable, smart, sweet, funny, and very bright (all five of them). They are fantastic students, avid readers, loving of each other, helpful and kind. The oldest, a boy, has always been a bit "unlike" other children. When he was little, Joy and her husband grew more and more concerned about him. Finally, he was diagnosed with Asperger's. I think he's in regular public school, I know all the other school-aged children are. Her oldest son is sweet (16 now), he just doesn't respond much to people outside of his immediate family. His sisters (13, 3) and brothers (10, 5) do not manifest any of the characteristics of Asperger's.

 

HTH. Mention this to your physician. I know I would.

 

There is so much about Joy that sounds like me. I'm glad you like her. :D I am an extrovert when in social situations but always prefer to stay home if I can. I can enjoy other people but also find it exhausting.

I have two sons that most likely have asperger's. My oldest is almost 36...it wasn't diagnosed much in those days. He talked late-around 3yo. He has always isolated himself, even from family. To be honest, I don't even have his cell phone number! Anyway, my youngest son is 8yo and has been scheduled for testing in September. He has classic meltdowns and odd toy preferences...like a sound card from an old computer. He can occupy himself with it for an entire day. His language is advanced and he has no problems with eye contact. There is a long history of "eccentricity" on my side of the family...

 

 

Geo

Edited August 6, 2010 by Geo

[LizzyBee]

Probably not from the look of the questions.

 

Just out of curiosity, anyone know their personality type and take this test also? I scored a 34 and am ISTJ (very low score on the S).

 

I am an ESTJ and I scored 23. The S is my only high score, the others are close to the middle.

[Geek]

This is all very confusing to me. I scored a 126. Mine looked kinda like a bat, if one of its wings were folded inward. One wing goes from the 'talent' between intellectual and aspie, to the social on aspie. Then it spreads to 'perception' between physical and neurotypical. It cuts off at hunting (instead of going all the way to 'communication' at neurotypical to do a full bat).

 

I figure some of the questions could be answered the way I did because of introversion, but there were a few questions that pushed the introversion excuse back to did a little deeper (meaning I'm only really comfortable looking only a handful of people in the eye and besides my husband and kids, I've only known these people my whole life). I blame just about all my weirdness on being introverted, but I don't feel that's it.

 

eta: I scored a 34 on the other.

Eye contact is a biggie. I know how to make eye contact and play that game. I can nod and smile and say mmmhmm, but don't ask me to talk intelligently at the same time because I just can't. If I am trying to access my thoughts or feelings on an issue, I simply cannot look at another person; it's much too distracting and I'll lose my train of thought and become overwhelmed and just shut down.

 

I've attached my graph. I guess it doesn't look much like a bat. :001_huh: Wonder why I remember it that way?

[angela in ohio]

32. Like Geek, though, I (1.) think about how the test is structured and have a hard time not manipulating it, and (2.) have to try to figure out how to answer considering adaptations I already make. It would be higher, but I have a hyper awareness of others' feelings and motivations because of some past situations in my life. That balances out some of the ASD tendencies (though combining a strict, literal sense of ethics with a hyper awareness of others' motivations does tend to make one miserable sometimes.) :001_smile: It would also be higher if I wasn't already adapting.

 

Like pp said about Joy, I "always knew that was "different," but had no idea why." For example, I have spent a lot of time 'floating' above the room mentally in social situations, trying to look at the environment objecively and figure out what a 'normal' person would be expected to do. :D It wasn't until homeschooling dc and trying to help them through some things that I figured it all out. I have talked to my doctor about seeing a professional and/or taking medication (I also surely have ADD.) But I very reluctanatly take any medication, so we have decided against it for now. Dh helps me manage things, telling me when I'm being "a little too autistic" about things and being really patient with my fears and such. :D I actually like some of my "issues." ;) It was easy for me to learn about it, because I have dh as a source of info. I would suggest reading up on symptoms and non-medication strategies for adapting.

 

My dc all have "quirks," too, and dh works with special needs children. Some of dh's students are truly disabled because of their ASD, unable to live what we would consider a normal life, but that is not the majority of those with ASD. I really have come to see that this isn't a disability for most as much as a different way of thinking. It really only becomes a disability for most because of others' expectations. NT people expect others to be NT, and deviance from that is seen as a negative. Never mind all the great contributions to society that come from ASD people. :glare:

[Geek]

 

Never mind all the great contributions to society that come from ASD people. :glare:

Nearly all of the great science, math, and medicine contributions to society have come from ASD people. Everyone from Beethoven to Thomas Jefferson to Alexander Graham Bell to Einstein to Hitchcock to Bill Gates have all displayed many, many signs of having been (or still being) ASD. That level of focus takes a toll on the rest of one's brain. The more extreme the focus, the more extreme the loss of everything else.

[kiana]

What did your graph look like on the one I shared? Mine looked like a bat on the right side of the circle, LOL.

 

Appear to have typoed, it was 168, not 148.

[Shawna in Texas]

Eye contact is a biggie. I know how to make eye contact and play that game. I can nod and smile and say mmmhmm, but don't ask me to talk intelligently at the same time because I just can't. If I am trying to access my thoughts or feelings on an issue, I simply cannot look at another person; it's much too distracting and I'll lose my train of thought and become overwhelmed and just shut down.

 

I've attached my graph. I guess it doesn't look much like a bat. :001_huh: Wonder why I remember it that way?

 

Mine is nearly identical except I stretch further down on 'perception' at physical on the neurotypical side. I don't know what that means.

 

 

The eye contact thing is interesting. If I attempt eye contact with newer people, I don't remember the conversation later. I doesn't seem that I have trouble verbalizing things, but I really don't remember it. For the rest of the day it will make me a bit anxious. A lot of times I just sort of look at my husband, but talk to the person. It's easier this way, but I wonder if I look like a Stepford wife. One of our friends (nearly at eye contact level lol), thinks that we are so smitten with each other because I'm always looking at him.

 

This weekend we have a family thing (not a comfortable gathering) and it's already giving me some anxiety, but afterwards I get to go to my cousin's house (one of the handful I can look in the eye), so if I concentrate on that, I'm good.

 

I've never really stopped and thought about this stuff really. I'm going to ask my husband about his observations later, but I'm not sure what he'll tell me. :lol:

 

eta: I took the tests on how I feel normally (non-stressed). I just don't normally put myself in situations where I will feel anxious. I am anxious about the weekend though, so I'm going to retake them on Sunday morning before we go.

Edited August 6, 2010 by Shawna in Texas

[asta]

lol, 148 on the second test. Not surprising though.

 

What other test?

 

Oh - found it - Aspie Quiz: 164/200

 

But I already knew that. LOL

 

 

 

asta

Edited August 7, 2010 by asta