Helping little ones get to sleep without pacifiers or similar items

[Guest]

If you have taken away a source of comfort for you child (i.e. pacifier, thumb) did they have a hard time at nap/bedtime and do you have any bright ideas about that or is the kind of thing you just ride out?

Edited June 8, 2010 by Guest

[kmacnchs]

How old are they? I've heard poking a hol in the pacifier takes away the suction and the child may not want it as much.

 

dd1 sucked her thumb. First we said no sucking the thumb during the day. Once that habit was broken, we told her we are not going to suck our thumb at night and we put a sock over her hand.

 

I have found that it is important to do it when they are young enough to not protest so much but old enough to "understand" (obey with happy hearts). We are breaking the daytime thumb sucking for ds right now and he is 14 mo. I think dd1 was about 18mo.

 

Friends of mine who have waited until their children were 2-5 to break the habit (thumb or paci) have had MUCH more protest than I have at just under 2...just some food for thought. never btdt w/a pacifier though...good luck!

[Guest]

How old are they? I've heard poking a hol in the pacifier takes away the suction and the child may not want it as much.

 

dd1 sucked her thumb. First we said no sucking the thumb during the day. Once that habit was broken, we told her we are not going to suck our thumb at night and we put a sock over her hand.

 

I have found that it is important to do it when they are young enough to not protest so much but old enough to "understand" (obey with happy hearts). We are breaking the daytime thumb sucking for ds right now and he is 14 mo. I think dd1 was about 18mo.

 

Friends of mine who have waited until their children were 2-5 to break the habit (thumb or paci) have had MUCH more protest than I have at just under 2...just some food for thought. never btdt w/a pacifier though...good luck!

 

My dd is 3 and is a thumb sucker. We've gotten her to stop by putting a band-aid over her thumb, but she's having a hard time going to sleep. I used a pacifier as an example in my OP thinking that more people have probably dealt with pacifiers, but maybe not . . .

[Ravin]

I was the only pacifier DD ever wanted. She learned to nap at daycare pretty easily, but if I was around...forget it, she had to nurse to sleep. She weaned at just past 5, and the last things to go were the bedtime and first-in-the-morning nursing sessions...and she wound up falling asleep to the TV instead and has ever since.

 

Love to hear how to wean a 6yo. off of bedtime TV. We only got her to sleep in her room by putting a TV in there. She slept in the living room for almost a year b/c of this.

[Parrothead]

My dd is 3 and is a thumb sucker. We've gotten her to stop by putting a band-aid over her thumb, but she's having a hard time going to sleep. I used a pacifier as an example in my OP thinking that more people have probably dealt with pacifiers, but maybe not . . .

It should only take a couple of nights to get the habit broken. Make sure she doesn't switch fingers.

 

Dd had a pacifier. She kept it at night until 3.5. The only way to get rid of it was to lie and tell her that she left it at Uncle's.

 

Uncle lived 2.5 hours from us. It was in the glove compartment of the car if things got real bad.

[astrid]

I have found that it is important to do it when they are young enough to not protest so much but old enough to "understand" (obey with happy hearts). We are breaking the daytime thumb sucking for ds right now and he is 14 mo. I think dd1 was about 18mo.

 

Friends of mine who have waited until their children were 2-5 to break the habit (thumb or paci) have had MUCH more protest than I have at just under 2...just some food for thought. never btdt w/a pacifier though...good luck!

 

Why did you want to stop your children from thumb-sucking at such an early age? Just curious, really--- my dd was a thumb-sucker and she kind of stopped on her own by age 6. Now she's 13 and there's no need for orthodontia (knock wood!) and she's none the worse for wear.

 

Our pediatric dentist was fine with her thumb habit (though she only sucked at night to fall asleep) so we never attempted to do anything about it; knowing she'd quit on her own eventually.

 

Just curious...

 

astrid

[MomtoCandJ]

:bigear: Thinking about this also with dd and her binky (pacifier) she is 18 months old and firmly attached to the things (and she will only take one kind the Soothies and I had to buy clips for them through Amazon because I got tired of buying them all the time when she would spit then out on the floor at Wal-Mart.)

[LizzyBee]

I encouraged use of pacifiers with my babies because they're so much easier to wean than a thumb or finger. Really, you can't break a thumbsucking habit until a child decides for him or herself to give it up. My mom tried cayenne pepper, socks over the hands, etc and nothing worked. My middle dd was a thumbsucker and didn't stop until oldest dd convinced her to put her blankie away to save for the new baby. When she gave up the blankie (at age 5), she stopped sucking her thumb. OTOH, my pacifier babies were both done with it before they turned 3.

[Guest]

I encouraged use of pacifiers with my babies because they're so much easier to wean than a thumb or finger. Really, you can't break a thumbsucking habit until a child decides for him or herself to give it up. My mom tried cayenne pepper, socks over the hands, etc and nothing worked. My middle dd was a thumbsucker and didn't stop until oldest dd convinced her to put her blankie away to save for the new baby. When she gave up the blankie (at age 5), she stopped sucking her thumb. OTOH, my pacifier babies were both done with it before they turned 3.

 

Well I made the fatal mistake of starting with a pacifier, taking it away and having her turn to her thumb as a result. ;)

[Guest]

It should only take a couple of nights to get the habit broken. Make sure she doesn't switch fingers.

 

 

 

I guess we'll just wait on this - no napping at this point and last night she was up until 10 when normally she is OUT by 7/7:30. We're all a little tired over here!

[kmacnchs]

Why did you want to stop your children from thumb-sucking at such an early age? Just curious, really--- my dd was a thumb-sucker and she kind of stopped on her own by age 6. Now she's 13 and there's no need for orthodontia (knock wood!) and she's none the worse for wear.

 

Our pediatric dentist was fine with her thumb habit (though she only sucked at night to fall asleep) so we never attempted to do anything about it; knowing she'd quit on her own eventually.

 

Just curious...

 

astrid

 

Three reasons: 1. teeth issue - we will have NO $$ for orthodontia, so I didn't want that to cause anything (I had a friend growing up who still sucked her thumb at 7 and her teeth were messed up BIG time)

2. My friend wanted her youngest to stay the baby so wasn't big on stopping the thumb-sucking - she is now 7 and is STILL sucking her thumb (I do not think that is appropriate; but that's just me)

3. With ALL things, I have found it is easier to break a bad habit at an early age (less protesting) rather than at a later age (as I said, I have seen MUCH protesting from friends' kids who were 2-5 when habits like thumb sucking, pacifiers, co-sleeping, blankies, etc. were broken)

 

None of these (maybe with the exception of the last one) are philosophies or whatever, they are more experiences I have had that have shaped my way of thinking...

 

ETA: Oh my goodness! I just read Chaqar's post about forceful thumb sucking! Let me take all of that back!!! We stopped her so early initially because she sucked her thumb so hard that she had 2 DEEP cuts in her thumb! I forgot about that! Amazing what you forget in 3 years! The Dr. said I needed to stop her from thumb sucking b/c of her poor thumb - she was 11mo! We stopped night thumb sucking (b/c it wasn't getting much better) at 18 mo. I decided to stop ds sucking his thumb partially b/c I saw how easy it was for her to stop at such a young age and partially b/c he has what looks like they may be cuts...

Edited June 8, 2010 by kmacnchs

[angela in ohio]

We made the mistake of stopping the binky too early with oldest, and she transitioned to her thumb. It's hard to take away a thumb! We had a horrible time breaking her of it. I also sucked my thumb waaay too late, and I had to go to physical therapy for issues with my tongue when they finally broke me of it.

 

So the next two kept the binky until 18 months, in bed only, and then we went cold turkey. It took about three long nights, and then they were fine. I'm in the ride it out camp. :)

[Guest]

We made the mistake of stopping the binky too early with oldest, and she transitioned to her thumb. It's hard to take away a thumb! We had a horrible time breaking her of it. I also sucked my thumb waaay too late, and I had to go to physical therapy for issues with my tongue when they finally broke me of it.

 

So the next two kept the binky until 18 months, in bed only, and then we went cold turkey. It took about three long nights, and then they were fine. I'm in the ride it out camp. :)

 

Exactly what I did. I was so worried about the whole teeth thing that I took her pacifier away early and now we have the thumb to worry about. :glare: I may consider that with future kids - waiting until they're a little older.

[Chaqar]

We had to put a dental appliance in our 5-year-old son's mouth to make thumb-sucking uncomfortable. He knew for several months that if he was unable to stop on his own, we would need to help him by installing the appliance. He wanted to stop, too, so he was fine with getting the help he needed. The first couple of nights the poor child could NOT fall asleep! I felt bad for him. After that, he was fine. We kept the appliance in for 6 months to make sure he didn't revert back to the prior habit.

 

Our dentist said that oftentimes thumb sucking doesn't cause dental problems, but in the case of our son he was concerned because the sucking was very forceful and involved the thumb pushing on the front teeth.

[kmacnchs]

My dd is 3 and is a thumb sucker. We've gotten her to stop by putting a band-aid over her thumb, but she's having a hard time going to sleep. I used a pacifier as an example in my OP thinking that more people have probably dealt with pacifiers, but maybe not . . .

 

Oh, okay, well, I think I already said it, but we put a sock over her hand...just thinking aloud - maybe having something soft next to her face made it more bearable to not suck it? Maybe I'm reaching :D

 

Have you stopped thumb-sucking during the day? I think by doing that (no thumb-sucking when they are bored or tired, etc) we kinda weaned ours from needing it as much in general so it wasn't such a shock to dd1's system when she was not allowed to suck at night.

 

What do you mean you were up until 10? Was she crying all night? Do you stay up in her room until she falls asleep? How many nights have you tried this? Maybe give it a week and see if she gets used to it?

 

And obviously I totally disagree with Lizzybee about not being able to stop thumbsucking until they decide to. My ds is 14 mo and I just said, "no more sucking your thumb during the day". I just pull his thumb out whenever it goes in and say "no sucking your thumb". He has gotten a couple of cheek flicks when he was diligent and I realized he was testing me b/c he would put his thumb near his mouth and smile. It really only took two flicks and firm "no"s. It's all about consistency, imo. He has pretty much broken the habit. I think we will wait until he is a little older to break the nap and night sucking (18mo or so). This being said, I can see how it would be much more difficult to break for a 3yo b/c they have MUCH more of a mind of their own...just saying...

[SonshineLearner]

I had my son "pay" for his new Thomas Train with his "paci". After the wknd he was ok :) It was me... that was SOOOOO sad each time I saw an "old" paci that I had to hide...

 

:)

[JenC3]

I'm a big proponent of extended breastfeeding for all the health reasons, but I've also noticed that my dc's have not used a lovey or ever sicked thumbs or fingers. I only say this is odd because everyone else we know who has weaned early has had trouble with their dc's and finger/thumb sucking AFTER they were weaned. Just my observation.

 

BTW I only nursed my toddlers a few minutes before naps and then lay them down.

[Cera]

Our girls each had a pacifier until around 3 1/2 (#2 just got rid of hers last month). I absolutely didn't want them sucking their thumbs because I can't take their thumbs away when sucking is inappropriate (and the dentist concurred that an orthodontic pacifier is better than a thumb for mouth development).

 

It took about two months to transition with each kid. We started by taking them out on a special big girl trip to pick out a special sleep item. Hallmark has a good selection of smaller, very soft animals. Our second chose a stuffed cow. Our first had her heart set on a doll and chose a cabbage patch newborn.

 

Once they picked out their new lovey (buy 2 or 3) we made a rule that they could only have the pacifier in bed at nap or night time. Also, they could only have the pacifier if they also had the new lovey in their arms.

 

After they were firmly attached to the lovey we chose a date and started talking about giving up the pacifier. Once the date came we packed up the pacifiers and put them in their keepsake box (both would have freaked if they were thrown out). It took a few days to transition and even a month later it takes #2 a bit longer to fall asleep but there was no crying or complaining throughout the process.

[amy g.]

I wonder about the breastfeeding aspect as well. I sucked my thumb and bit my fingernails as a child, but I have five children, and not a thumb/finger sucker or pacifier user or nail biter among them.

 

I'm just wondering why it would be that way.

[Starr]

Ds breastfed for 2 1/2 years, had a pacifier and a stuffed animal and would have liked a blankie. :lol: It was a long week when he lost his last pacifier at 4 3/4 years. And then he got sick a few weeks later and told me how he missed his pacifier. He lived; I was pained.

[Momofeat]

Well I made the fatal mistake of starting with a pacifier, taking it away and having her turn to her thumb as a result. ;)

 

That is exactly what happened with our first child.

[Momofeat]

Okay, here's our story.

 

First child, dd, was sucking her thumb in every ultrasound. Those of you who were able to get your babies to stop sucking thumbs as toddlers, more power to you! I found it impossible. I think she needed to suck much more than the average kid, and nothing was going to get in the way of that. I could not exactly crawl over the seats in the car to keep her from sucking it then. She did use a paci for over a year, but back then the books said not to let them have it for over four hours a day. When we took the paci, she went back to her thumb. Our dentist said that as long as she stopped before age 7, her teeth would be fine--even though she had an overbite caused by it. She stopped at age 6 with the same methods recommended by others--cut back during the day, sock at night. I actually slept with her a few nights because she would take it off in her sleep. We got cooperation by threatening to buy this contraption: http://www.thumbguard.com/Thumbguard.html. She now has a normal bite. :)

 

Middle dd sucked her middle fingers. Her habit did not seem as strong as first dd, but she was stubborn about quitting. She would not take a paci. With her, we did wind up using this contraption: http://www.thumbguard.com/Fingerguard.html. She managed to wiggle her fingers out & suck them anyway. She finally stopped, at age 5, but I don't really remember how we finally got her to quit.

 

Ds, praise the Lord, took a paci. He loved it. I read good things about pacis & let him use it to his heart's content. New dentist recommended that we take it away while he was 3. We left the dentist's office & told him the sad news that the dentist said he couldn't have a paci anymore, and that was the end of it. However, he does have speech issues that I think are related to the paci. :rolleyes:

 

With all 3, sleep was difficult for a few days.

 

BTW, before I had children, I looked at kids who sucked their thumbs/fingers/pacis & thought, "My child will never do that! I won't allow it." Let's just say that I've learned a lot about humility. :lol:

[LibraryLover]

Why? What is wrong with a pacifier or thumb? Thumbs are good...you can't loose them. :) All of my children nursed to sleep for years with no ill affects whatsoever. I have one not born to me who fell alseep in my arms for years with her thumb in her mouth. No big deal. I would never take away any comfort item. None of my children (21, 17, 16, 11) suck their thumbs or nurse to sleep anymore. Shocking, I know. :)

Edited June 9, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

If you have taken away a source of comfort for you child (i.e. pacifier, thumb) did they have a hard time at nap/bedtime and do you have any bright ideas about that or is the kind of thing you just ride out?

 

I might have done something different if I didn't have the time. When I weaned or got rid of a pacifier, I trained my kids to find comfort in something else if they needed it. So we have had various stuffed animals and "blankies" that they became attached to. I also sat in the bedroom and sang songs and patted backs.

 

I know it seems like another crutch, but I figure these things don't last forever. The day always came when I was no longer wanted to sing and the blankie was washed one final time and stored away till someone said, "you can throw that old thing out."

 

Having a ritual to the whole thing really helps. Ds11 still asks for a prayer and a sip of water. We threw out his old blankie (that was in a baggie at the top of his closet) last year. Ds6 still gets a bedtime story, his blankie, his stuffed horse (Elvis), and tucked in. The songs are petering out, but they still get requested once in a while.

 

Can you imagine how cold and alone a bed can feel when you are a small child and have no comfort or companionship. I can. My mother threw my beloved stuffed cat out without telling me, when I was 10. I couldn't sleep well for a week.

[6packofun]

My last baby just turned 4 and he is still using his binky. I want him to stop BUT he grinds his teeth in his sleep and at least having the binky in stops that horrible sound! lol He never ends up with it in his mouth for long after he falls asleep, though, so we could probably throw it away and just be done with it. I worry about the teeth grinding, but I know the binky isn't a real solution.

Edited June 9, 2010 by 6packofun
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[Crissy]

I never dealt with thumb sucking, as both of my boys loved their pacifiers.

I let them decide when they were finally finished with them, but at the same time, I limited where they could have them.

 

Somewhere around age 2-3 we instituted the Pacifiers are for Bedtime rule. If they wanted the pacifier (regardless of the time of day) they had to be in their bed. In the beginning, both of my boys spent a lot of time on their bed during the day with their favorite blanket and their pacifier. It didn't take too long before they wanted to play more during the day than lay in bed, so they ended up only having pacifiers at their actual nap and bedtimes.

 

It seemed to me to be a less stressful way for them to make the transition. I never limited the amount of time they could spend on the bed. The location was the only restriction I gave them. I think I may have also let them have the pacifier in the car, since they usually always fell asleep there.

 

I don't have any idea whether this method could work with a thumb sucker.

[fairfarmhand]

I might have done something different if I didn't have the time. When I weaned or got rid of a pacifier, I trained my kids to find comfort in something else if they needed it. So we have had various stuffed animals and "blankies" that they became attached to. I also sat in the bedroom and sang songs and patted backs.

 

I know it seems like another crutch, but I figure these things don't last forever. The day always came when I was no longer wanted to sing and the blankie was washed one final time and stored away till someone said, "you can throw that old thing out."

 

Having a ritual to the whole thing really helps. Ds11 still asks for a prayer and a sip of water. We threw out his old blankie (that was in a baggie at the top of his closet) last year. Ds6 still gets a bedtime story, his blankie, his stuffed horse (Elvis), and tucked in. The songs are petering out, but they still get requested once in a while.

 

Can you imagine how cold and alone a bed can feel when you are a small child and have no comfort or companionship. I can. My mother threw my beloved stuffed cat out without telling me, when I was 10. I couldn't sleep well for a week.

 

I'm saving my babies sweet blankies and loveys. I could never just toss them! But I am sentimental about things like that...