2 yo waking up screaming and won't stay in bed...crib tent?

[MommyInTraining]

Have any of you used a crib tent?

 

My 2 yo is waking up screaming and it has turned into a continuous thing. Have any of you dealt with this kind of behavior?

[Mandamom]

Is it screaming like night terrors? We've dealt with those before.

[SonshineLearner]

I know that someone on the ChristianMothering group I used to belong to... had a child die by strangulation somehow with the tents... I know this because I shared how I loved ours... I've had my son do a combo or sleep with us... sleep in a crib.... for his life... So, I know how it is. He just really wants to rub (or kick:) up against someone while going to sleep and sleeping.

If you have a sibling who he can sleep with... that sometimes is a great solution...

:)

[LibraryLover]

I think 2 is getting old for a crib.

[Cathy in IL]

I put a baby gate at my 2 year old's bedroom door and baby-proofed her room very well. If she gets out of bed in the middle of the night I don't have to worry. Going in and putting her back in bed seemed to reinforce her behavior with attention. With this plan, she is doing much better.

[Dandelion]

When DS was around 18 months old, he started climbing out of his crib at night. We bought a crib tent and thought it would take care of the problem. In our case, that just added to his fun - he made a game out of tearing up the crib tent (he would bite a little hole into the netting with his teeth and then rip it up). I'd come into his room in the middle of the night and he'd just beam at me, proud of his "accomplishment" (he couldn't understand why mommy wasn't just as thrilled!)... :glare:

 

So...after going through THREE (!!) crib tents (at $70 a pop - and I did sew each one up a few times before buying another new one) we finally gave up. He eventually lost interest in this new-found skill of climbing out of his crib and things returned to normal.

 

You could give it a try - if your little one isn't into tearing things up, maybe it will work...

 

Good luck!!

[JulieJ]

Just from reading your signature....maybe it has something to do with the new baby?

 

BY 2 both of my dc were out of the crib. Maybe some big kid talks may help if they can feel older than the new baby?

[Ravin]

Time to get a big kid bed and maybe accept the occasional hour or two of little one in mom and dad's bed. A crib is a safety hazard to a child who can climb out of it.

 

As for the waking screaming, I would go in and reassure him and give him attention to get back to sleep securely, or take him to your bed. It'll pass, give it time.

[Cammie]

If this is really SCREAMING that continues for a while, they don't wake up, they seem traumatized - it is night terrors. We went through it with both children at around 3 years old. It is scary! Forcing them to stay in their crib/bed is NOT the solution. Pick them up (if they let you) try and comfort them, hold them until the terrors pass. It is developmental and will eventually stop.

Edited April 18, 2010 by Cammie

[Rebecca VA]

My second child co-slept with us for SIX years, and I don't regret a moment of it. She just needed to be close to someone. She actually held my hand most of each night. At 13 years old, she still craves touch.

 

There were nights when I didn't get enough sleep because I couldn't turn over or she was pushing me off the bed, but I'm very glad I accommodated her this way. I wouldn't have let her scream in her room for one moment.

[Smithie]

Well, I'd let a two year old scream in her room for a good many moments to avoid going back into Cosleeping Purgatory. :)

 

OP, my middle child was never a fan of the crib. She went from about nine months of cosleeping right to a Montessori-style nursery - mattress on the floor, low sturdy bookcase with toys and books, covered outlets, tied up blind cords, and nothing else. It was very cheap to set up (I just placed her existing dresser in the closet, childproofed the closet door, and took away the crib frame) and it really improved our nights. Then she coslept with her brother for a year or so, and now she sleeps in a queen bed with her sister in a crib in the same room. I'm all for trying out a bunch of scenarios to avoid tears at bedtime/ 2 a.m., but we like to have a marital bed, not a family bed.

[Jennifer in MI]

Poor babe! I wonder if it's night terrors too. I would hate for you to continue to allow a scared toddler to scream all alone!! Could you get a big boy (sorry - I forget - was this a boy?) bed and put him in with an older sibling? Maybe with the beds right next to each other? My three older boys all moved out of our bed easily because they went into the other bedroom with their siblings. Made the transition quite easy.

 

Personally, I'd have the two year old in bed with us. But, I'm not sure if you're open to that or not. Hasn't affected our marital bed one bit!!

[Sunkirst]

This is the age that mine move out of my bed and into a sibling's (low futon on the floor). The second two made this transition sooooo much easier since they had someone to cuddle with.

 

My eldest and youngest had night terrors during "stressful" stages. New baby could do that. Ours always fell right back to sleep after being sat on the potty. They'd pee, I'd carry them back to bed and they'd be out cold - something about the physicality of using the pot got them out of their heads and back in their very tired bodies.

 

Good Luck - Wish I could send you some sleep!

[MommyInTraining]

He is in the room with his brother and still wakes up screaming. Even if he gets in bed with a parent ( I am usually sleeping with the baby on the couch) he will wake up. I am not a stranger to co-sleeping (hence, me sleeping with the baby and not very able to get up and tend to the 2 yo without waking up the baby!). I don't really think it is night terrors. He seems to be awake. It is more of a tantrum, mad, angry scream. And, putting the gate up at the door didn't work. He just screams while at it. Again, simply putting him in bed with someone else doesn't seem to be the solution. This morning around 4 he was up screaming in bed with dh and I think he stopped after being given a bottle, but that is an early breakfast for a 2yo. Sometimes it is earlier than that.

Edited April 18, 2010 by MommyInTraining

[Jennifer in MI]

Is he hungry? What if you kept a banana by the bed? (or other snack that wouldn't go bad)

 

Can he talk much yet? Have you asked him what's going on during the day when he's not in the middle of his tantrum?

 

Does he need more sleep? (I know, that's a vicious cycle!) Is he still napping? I know when my dd. needs more sleep, her sleep is disturbed more.

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Rebecca VA]

Does he want to play quietly by himself? I knew a mom once with a hyperactive child, and she said he would wake up at 3:00 and play in his room. He just didn't need the sleep.

 

If you provided him with books and quiet toys, would he entertain himself and let you sleep?

[SnowWhite]

Since you say he stopped screaming after a bottle, could he be thirsty? Maybe you could keep a bottle of water in his bed. Another possibility, could he be wet through? Maybe you could buy the extra absorbent Night Time diapers. I feel your pain, my 10 month old wakes 3-4 times per night and I'm exhausted all the time.

 

Now for my all time favorite recommendation: Dr. Elizabeth Pantley's books. I used the No-Cry Sleep Solution when my oldest ds was 18 months and waking every 1.5 hrs. all night every night. Not sure why it isn't working with this ds, maybe I'm too tired to implement it right! She also has a Toddler Sleep Solution now, which I'd love to read.

[2squared]

All my kids have gone through a crying stage where we pull them into bed with us. As another said, it turns into co-sleeping purgatory. :D I am determined to keep #4 and #5 out of our bed!

 

Anyway, what we do is transition our toddlers to a big kid bed (toddler or twin size) around 18 months. I put a child safety thingy on the inside doorknob of their bedroom so they can't get out by themselves. After a night or two of testing the door thingy, they figure the system out and sleep through the night. It works for naps, too.

[myfatherslily]

It could still be night terrors. Can you get him to stop? When he does stop, does he calm down in the same as when it's daytime and he's been awake? Or does he just suddenly chill out and seem totally different? Does he look you in the eye when he's screaming? It might not hurt to look up some descriptions online. My DS had night terrors for at least a year before I realized what it was. We thought he was throwing a screaming fit in the middle of the night and tried disciplining him. Nothing changed after we figured it out, but it helped ME to know that he wasn't just being bad. He's still at it, has been having night terrors for over 3 years now. He doesn't get out of bed until he's right at the end and becomes aware enough to look for me, so I don't have any help with that. But I do know that it's common to get up.

 

It may NOT be night terrors but it's soo frustrating to have kids waking up screaming at night, that I think it's good to understand why! If he's being naughty then obviously your response is going to be vastly different than if he's not aware of what he's doing!

[RoughCollie]

One of my kids had night terrors.

 

I wouldn't keep a snack by the bed, in case the child chokes while eating, and there is no one available to help him. There are dire consequences if that happens, which makes even a slight risk too high, IMO.

[mrs.m]

What about teething? If that's the time his body wants to wake up, then pain may encourage it.

 

It's possible that it's a growth spurt and he is hungry! My kids still do stuff like that!

[MommyInTraining]

He screams the same way when he wakes up from naps, so I don't think it is night terrors.

[wapiti]

He screams the same way when he wakes up from naps, so I don't think it is night terrors.

Sounds like maybe he's overtired, or for some other reason unable to fall back to sleep after waking up at night. What's his schedule like? (and how about molars?)

 

FWIW, if he's capable of climbing out of the crib, I'd remove the side of the crib or put him on a mattress on the floor. I try to avoid this as long as possible with my kids, because they find it sooo interesting when they realize they can get up :glare:. But it happens when it happens. I have no experience with crib tents.

[EKS]

We put a crib tent on when my son was 14 months old *before* he actually managed to get out of the crib. I think this might make a difference. We had an identical one for his travel crib. It was a very complicated affair, with velcro straps everywhere. I think he thought that it wouldn't come off because he never tried to move it and even asked for the one over his travel crib when he slept in it. We kept him in the crib with the tent until he was three years old and had no problems.

Edited April 18, 2010 by EKS

[Lolosoli]

I'd definitely NOT use a tent. They can be very dangerous.

 

Toddlers still need our care, even at night.

 

I'd get a toddler bed and let him come to your room as well.

[Cammie]

It could still be night terrors. Can you get him to stop? When he does stop, does he calm down in the same as when it's daytime and he's been awake? Or does he just suddenly chill out and seem totally different? Does he look you in the eye when he's screaming? It might not hurt to look up some descriptions online. My DS had night terrors for at least a year before I realized what it was. We thought he was throwing a screaming fit in the middle of the night and tried disciplining him. Nothing changed after we figured it out, but it helped ME to know that he wasn't just being bad. He's still at it, has been having night terrors for over 3 years now. He doesn't get out of bed until he's right at the end and becomes aware enough to look for me, so I don't have any help with that. But I do know that it's common to get up.

 

It may NOT be night terrors but it's soo frustrating to have kids waking up screaming at night, that I think it's good to understand why! If he's being naughty then obviously your response is going to be vastly different than if he's not aware of what he's doing!

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

It still sounds like night terrors to me too - looking awake, mad and angry crying - fits our night terrors.

[Terabith]

Night terrors are one of the freakiest things I've experienced.

 

Catherine was about 15 months when they started. She looked awake. She would talk. But she couldn't communicate meaningfully. She acted awake. But she didn't interact with us. The first time I almost took her to the er. We did take her to the doctor the next day. I was worried she was having a seizure. It took hours to calm her down. They happened fairly regularly for a couple months. I woudl eventually take her into the living room and we would watch several episodes of Maisy. It seemed to be the only thing that (eventually) calmed her down.

 

Scary stuff.

 

But I think crib tents are dangerous. I'm a co-sleeper, still, with almost 5 and six yr olds, though hoping to end it at least with older one relatively soon. Younger one still seems to sort of need it. But, I know co-sleeping is not for everyone. If you don't want to do that, I would do the toddler/ low bed and well childproofed room with baby gate. But I'd still respond to the hysterical cries/ screams. Manipulative crying is one thing; genuine distress is another.

[MommyInTraining]

Ummm, but would he wake up the same way from a nap if it were night terrors? Or, could it actually be night terrors at night and the screaming and being scared of waking up has just spilled over into anytime that he wakes up? What I mean is, could the night terrors have turned the waking up process into a scary event? Does that make sense?

 

What causes night terrors?

 

He isn't in the crib anymore. I moved his matress into the room with his brother, but was thinking maybe being confined in a crib would make it stop. Before he knew how to crawl out of the crib he would occasionally wake up and fuss, but just go back to sleep. So, I was thinking the containment might reverse the problem. But, I think it is habit at this point. So, I don't think going backwards would help much.

 

I just don't know why he would wake up screaming from his naps though, if it were night terrors.

[asta]

Ummm, but would he wake up the same way from a nap if it were night terrors? Or, could it actually be night terrors at night and the screaming and being scared of waking up has just spilled over into anytime that he wakes up? What I mean is, could the night terrors have turned the waking up process into a scary event? Does that make sense?

 

According to the medical literature:

Sleep is divided into 2 categories: rapid eye movement (REM) and nonrapid eye movement (non-REM). Non-REM sleep is further divided into 4 stages, progressing from stages 1-4. Night terrors occur during the transition from stage 3 non-REM sleep to stage 4 non-REM sleep. Approximately 30-90 minutes after falling asleep, the child enters this light sleep stage and suddenly arises with symptoms of autonomic discharge.

 

It isn't a fear of waking up. It isn't truly a fear in the sense that we adults think of fear (like a scary movie) - it is an autonomic fear, meaning our bodies are alerting us to something that shouldn't be happening. So it isn't that the terror has turned the waking up process into a scary event, no.

 

What causes night terrors?

 

Unfortunately, lots of things. The standard: stressful life conditions (new baby), sleep deprivation, fever, medications... and then there are a bunch of weird things that can only be ruled out by a doctor after all of the above have been ruled out.

 

I just don't know why he would wake up screaming from his naps though, if it were night terrors.

 

Ninety minutes of sleep.

 

HTH

 

 

asta

 

 

(info from emedicine)

[Terabith]

It doesn't really matter if it's a nap or at night. It's just the name for it. Nobody really knows what causes it, but the pediatrician said it often occurred same time dramatic play was developing. But that is only a correlation of mental development, etc.

 

They aren't nightmares. The child doesn't really remember them. It's almost a physiological thing.

 

It's terrifying for parents, however.

[Embassy]

He is in the room with his brother and still wakes up screaming. Even if he gets in bed with a parent ( I am usually sleeping with the baby on the couch) he will wake up. I am not a stranger to co-sleeping (hence, me sleeping with the baby and not very able to get up and tend to the 2 yo without waking up the baby!). I don't really think it is night terrors. He seems to be awake. It is more of a tantrum, mad, angry scream. And, putting the gate up at the door didn't work. He just screams while at it. Again, simply putting him in bed with someone else doesn't seem to be the solution. This morning around 4 he was up screaming in bed with dh and I think he stopped after being given a bottle, but that is an early breakfast for a 2yo. Sometimes it is earlier than that.

 

Is he missing you? Were you the one who tended to him at night before the baby came?