Ever put your youngest in a pre-school program?

[Jenny in GA]

My youngest is a boy who will be turning four next month. My daughters just turned seven and nine last month.

 

I guess there is something wrong with me, because I feel like no matter what I do, I can't juggle him as well as I'd like to while we do schoolwork.

 

I've been doing the "rotate the girls playing with him" thing, and that works okay, but I feel like I'm wearing the girls out a little to make them do that every single day. Plus, it's still a bit of a distraction for me, because I might hear them fighting, or whooping, or whatever, in the other room. Plus potty breaks, snack breaks ... trying to figure out what to do with him when I want to do things with the girls together, etc. I just feel like I could focus better and be a little less tense if I didn't have to worry about him, period.

 

 

I guess I'm wondering if:

1) Since I choose to have three children, I should just learn to deal with it;

2) If all the driving would make our lives MORE complicated, not less

 

Also, I just talked to someone about this idea yesterday, and she said, "I had a friend who tried that. She said it didn't work well because they all had negative effects from the family being pulled apart."

 

OTOH, he is a very social little guy who I think would LOVE to be around other little kids and have a lot of playtime, etc. And maybe this is a bad thing, but I think his oldest sisters would love to have a few mornings within him every week.

 

Any thoughts or experiences?

 

Jenny

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Does he like play-doh? My 2 boys will sit for hours playing with it and so I have started a "preschool program" with playdoh. We work on counting playdoh balls, or playdoh creations. We make playdoh letters & numbers. I have them make things (houses, people, books, anything I can think of) and they love being in "big boy school" like their big sisters. Just a though!

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Or have him learn to draw holding crayons, markers, pencils correctly. Have him draw different things for hand eye coordination, give him construction paper and safety scissors and draw lines, the shapes on and have him practice cutting them out. Then have him make something with his creations! You can do a preschool program at home while homeschooling that will keep him engaged!

 

 

You really dont know what kind of behaviors he might come home with from a preschool program. I am very leary because the last year before we finally started homeschooling my now 5yo was in a preschool program, and as rare as this may be, an incident happened that we were forced to involve the police in and there were charges filed on several of the preschool employees. So yes that is an extreme situation, but you really never know what could happen! :grouphug: This is hard!

[Oak Knoll Mom]

My kids were the same exact ages of yours last year. I put the youngest in pre-school and it was *wonderful*. It has really made our year go smoother.

[MyLittleWonders]

If I have ever had a kiddo that I needed to go to preschool, it would be ds#3. ;) He'll be four in June. My older two boys are almost 9 and 6 1/2, so very similar ages to yours. He is our Jay Leno, and also has always been my biggest wildcard. It has slowly improved over time (it was worse when he was littler). But, he is also insanely attached to me. Dh and I have half-joked, half-seriously spoken about preschool for him; he could go where I went, right up the block from us. But, I do not want to do that to our family, nor do I want to set a precedent for us in regards to going to school. I have made the error(s) in the past of threatening one or both of the older two with going to school because of behavior issues surrounding homeschooling, and sending ds#3 do preschool would probably reinforce the whole "Mommy puts you in school if you misbehave" ideas they have. (We have talked numerous times about why I said that and what I really meant to say and how I am committed to homeschooling them through H.S.).

 

So, short answer is ... I can understand the desire to put the youngest in preschool to be able to focus on the older ones. I have tossed that idea around many times in the last year. And I know that as ds#3 gets older, it'll get a little easier only because school will be required. For now, we do our best. Some days that means he watches a few Diego's and Dora's to give us an hour of complete peace. Some days he actually sits on my lap or in his seat at the table and does a little worksheet or something. And some days, we do the best we can. But, ultimately, putting ds#3 in preschool, for us as a family, would run counter to why we are homeschooling in the first place. (Plus, I fear the additional behaviors he might pick up from a room full of 4 year old boys! :) )

[tiffany k]

This year I sent my two youngest to the small Christian preschool close to our home for two mornings a week. I felt that I wouldn't have time for crafts or playdates this year for them and, while the expense made my husband question my sanity, it has been a wonderful experience for our family. I appreciate their teachers so much, they are such lovely women who care for my littles. Jack and Abby enjoy their time there and while there were initial upsets, we all worked through those issues and it has been a great year for all of us. As an aside, we are the only homeschooling family and in the beginning I felt there was a lot of suspicion cast our way, but I think now most people involved look at homeschooling in a much more favorable light. Don't feel guilty for trying it if it's best for your little guy and your family. :001_smile:

[Supertechmom]

If you think they would like a morning without him, what about a mom's out program instead of full preschool? Or do you have a responsible teenager in your homeschool group that could come in for a morning or two (cheaper than preschool I would hope)?

 

For getting work done, google things like preschool bags, trays for tots, It's just ideas on keeping 3 and 4 year olds busy. Maybe read him a book or do an activity with him first and then he can do a set number of the bags until the next time you do an activity with him.

 

Other ideas we have tried. Put him in the bathtub (empty) with shaving cream or cool whip (yea a mess for you but it showers off easy)

 

at the sink with cups and let him make a mess pouring . can do the same idea with rice, pebbles, beans, sand

 

You can train him to spend 15 minutes or so alone in his room playing. I started that and can get 30 minutes out of my almost 4 year old before she comes out ready for something. Does he still take a nap?

 

It probably doesn't help with the not worrying about him and making things less tense for you but it does work to keep him occupied to get school done without having to make the olders watch him.

 

I spend about two weeks getting folder games, preschool bags and activities made up and ready to go for the new school year and then I have a plan of action to keep them busy while I work with the other group.

 

driving everywhere would make me more tense and since I dont' have the money to hire help, I have to figure out how to make it work here.

 

HTH!

[Orthodox6]

Our youngest (of the four) attended preschool for two years. It was the right thing for her, and she was happy as a clam ! In fact, the experience provided her with the very "preschool skills" needed for when she began homeschooling !

 

Preschool unexpectedly became a blessing the year that I broke my leg and spent three weeks in a rehab hospital. Rather than cry all day for her Mama, dd had a place to go and be distracted by friends and activities.

 

Preschool-or-not is your decision. None of us know you, your children, or your family dynamics. Our job is to offer cyber-support for what you think wisest for your own situation ! :)

[Chris in VA]

I'm in two minds about preschool. Yes, I taught it, sent all my kids to it, can see both sides of the argument. I think you are actually asking more a question about what to do to make life smoother at home.

So, I think you could go either way with preschool--it could be the answer to giving you more time to work with your girls.

But maybe you should tweak what you are doing with them and work from that angle.

 

Oh, and as far as having them take turns playing with him, how long a turn do they take? Maybe too long, if they are getting "worn out?" I'd say 20 minutes, tops.

[hsbaby]

I put my ds in a Christian pre-school three days a week when he was four and dd will be going when she turns four. He absolutely LOVED it. He really enjoyed the teachers and the other kids. I think dd will love it as well. She does not seem satisfied with the pre-school bags or crafts I set up. She wants to PLAY:) If she does do a craft, she wants other people right there so she can show them every little thing she does. And the girl is a talker.....this alone makes it hard to do school with the older two. It's impossible to read anything for more than two minutes without her interjecting:) DS had a similar personality and really thrived at pre-school.

[KristenS]

We briefly attended (and I taught part-time at) our church mother's day out preschool program. I do know there was one mom who enrolled her kids there through K, so they'd get a grounding in reading, and then pulled them to homeschool. Worked for her.

 

For us, not so well, but I've got a kid whose asthma is triggered by viruses ... and we seemed to catch a lot of them!

 

I think it can be a fun option, and certainly worth investigating, if the cost is right, the schedule suits, and the environment is one you like. Or perhaps a mother's helper for a morning (take your kiddo to the playground type thing, if it's a driving helper) or something like that.

[melissel]

I put my youngest in preschool this year in part for this reason. I was working at the time and just couldn't do everything. To get any school done, DD7 and I needed to be distraction free. I've tried lots of different things to keep my DD4 occupied, but it's only been during the last few weeks that she's really understood how that she needs to keep herself busy and could do it for more than five minutes at a time, even with the file folder games and activity bags and play-doh. Those things only held her attention for a few minutes at a time--just long enough for me to get her settled and myself settled back with DD7 and find our place again--and then she'd be right there fussing for my attention again.

 

She's already very screen-oriented, and I didn't want to plug her in for DD7's school time every day (don't get me wrong, Starfall is my best friend these days). Ultimately, preschool seemed like the better solution, and for us, it really was. It helped get us over the hump of this past crazy year and through this developmental phase, and now I'm in a better spot with regard to both of them. She's (mostly) through the napping stage, so she can have quiet time in her room without accidentally falling asleep. She's matured enough to enjoy audiobooks rather than scream through them. The time apart has really helped her relationship with her sister, and I would never have known just how important a daily structure is to her if I hadn't seen the positive changes it made in her.

 

Now, that being said, I'm sure preschool is not right for EVERY kid/family. But you shouldn't base your decision on someone else's standards or values, or what has or hasn't worked for so-and-so's family. Examine your kid, family, finances, and available schools and then decide. But don't feel guilty about your decision either way. You need to do what's best for everyone, including yourself. KWIM?

 

Good luck with your decision!

[elise1mds]

My daughter is in preschool right now; I'm about to go pick her up. She loves it and is much happier there because she NEEDS people to talk to and DS gets easily frustrated if someone is talking while he is working. So it makes our lives much easier :)

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I did!

 

I'd highly recommend it, if your little guy is like my dd.

 

She's very social, and very talkative, and years younger than her older siblings. When she was 3yo, I put her in preschool 2 mornings a week. It wasn't a lot, just enough to give her time to play in a structured environment, and gave us a few hours of uninterrupted school time each week.

 

At 4yo (this year), I kept her in for their Pre-K program. It's 3 mornings a week, and it was great for the beginning of the year. But, it's getting old! I hate having to wake her up before she's ready. She's picking up some unsavory behaviors. But, one of the teachers is absolutely wonderful. She is learning good things that I would teach her eventually, but haven't gotten to yet (like calendar stuff, and songs, and how to sit quietly).

 

She loves it, and I'm glad we did it. It's so much better than telling her over and over again to be quiet, to play in the other room, that I don't have time right now to (fill in the blank).

[texasmama]

My hs'ed kids are ages 9 and 7. My youngest child is 4...and she attends a small, church run, part time preschool from 9am-2pm, Monday- Thursday. This is the same preschool that my boys went to. She loves it so much! It is NOT a day care, the staff is fabulous and it was a Godsend to have her gone while I worked with the boys alone. I will add her into our hs'ing next year and I am a little scared. There are many people who can juggle it all and do it well but I am not one of them so I chose a win-win situation for all of us and sent dd to preschool with absolutely no regrets. She learned positive behaviors, not negative ones, and she is doing a preK Abeka curriculum there so will be all ready for hs'ing next year.

[Jennefer@SSA]

My youngest goes to preschool 2x a week from 9-2. It is at our church and I know all the adults who work with him well. He loves preschool and we have decided to let him go next year as well. My oldest has severe ADHD and the days when our little man is gone are so productive without all the little interruptions throughout the day!

 

That being said, we have had issues. Ds3 has come home with several undesirable phrases and behaviors throughout the year. He is very immature for his age and instead of saying no he just goes right along with the crowd. It has provided lots of great talks and he has come along way. And the adults that work with him are just super as well!

 

Blessings as you decide what is right for your family. I know people feel strongly on both sides of the issue.

[Garga]

It was great for my oldest while it lasted. However, my youngest just isn't very social and he hated the preschool. Lots of little kids love preschool, but mine just wasn't in that camp. We tried it for 2 months, but he never took off with it.

 

The driving back and forth wasn't too bad at all. I would give the older boy a worksheet to do in the car while we drove/waited for preschool to end.

 

Try it and see if it works for your family.

[HeidiKC]

My 4-year-old LOVES preschool. He goes T/R 9-2 and will do the same thing next year. Your concern about too much driving: can you find a place with a schedule like this so it isn't just 2.5 hours? I don't think you even need to find something every day, but maybe even 2 longer days/week?

 

Also, if you're going to put him in a program - I highly recommend a preschool over a mother's day out kind of place. I think the teachers are much better in a preschool and there is generally some sort of educational philosophy (Montessori, Highscope, etc.). They provide learning opportunities for the kids, and the kids feel so proud of themselves. That is my favorite thing about preschool, my son is always so proud of himself at the end of each day - especially when they've learned something new. Lately they've been learning about plants. In a Mom's Day Out, it's a great break for you, but really it's just more like a babysitter with opportunities for kids to play together. They usually don't do circle time or learning about the weather or the "letter can" (bring a bunch of things from home beginning with the letter of the week and then show all the other kids - they LOVE that!).

[Terabith]

I see preschool and school as two entirely different things. Sending my youngest to preschool has been FANTASTIC for her, and it's been helpful for my oldest's concentration. I heartily recommend it.

[Heidi7Sue]

2) If all the driving would make our lives MORE complicated, not less

Jenny

 

I have dd6 in 1st grade at home, and ds5 in preschool at the public school. The driving definitely makes our lives more complicated, and I cannot wait until he is done with school so that our schedule can be what we want it to be. (OTOH, he loves his teachers and so do I, so we will miss them.) But it seems like driving him to or from school is always interrupting something.

[Laura Corin]

Hobbes was in pre-school for a couple of years. He loved it and it gave me time to concentrate on schooling Calvin. It was a three hour session, so I had a clear two hours with Calvin while he was away.

 

Laura

[2squared]

You all had me convinced to try preschool with my almost 4yo. I had visions of working peacefully with my older two while ds2 went to preschool. And then I remembered that I will have two other, littler dc. :lol: The dream was crushed.

[Supertechmom]

You all had me convinced to try preschool with my almost 4yo. I had visions of working peacefully with my older two while ds2 went to preschool. And then I remembered that I will have two other, littler dc. :lol: The dream was crushed.

 

 

:D ME too! Then I remembered the other child! Nope, I'll just have to continue making do around here and stretch my patience again. LOL! But preschool sure does sound nice now!