Should I stay or should I go? (health related and long)

[Jean in Newcastle]

A very generous person has offered to pay all expenses (medical, airfare and hotel bills) for my husband and me to go to a special doctor in another state. The doctor is special because he is both a M.D. and an N.D. There are no such doctors in my area - I checked. Of course there are good M.D.s here and good naturopaths.

 

My dh has already gone to one appt. The doctor's office had things set up for him to spend two whole days at the doctor's office having tests, and being seen by the Dr. The Dr. has a specific protocol he follows. For instance he says on his website that most chronic health problems are due to heavy metal toxicity and/or parasites and he automatically tests and treats those two things first. My dh was found to have 3 x the mercury in his blood than is considered safe. Because of that he recently had a tooth that was leaching mercury from an old failing filling removed.

 

I am currently being my own naturopath in a way. I'm doing tons of research and am following the published protocol of another natural doctor who specializes in fibromyalgia. I am seeing some slow results. I am almost done with the 25 pages of paperwork (literally) necessary to see a well-respected naturopath in our area.

 

Dh is wanting me to go with him to this out-of-state Dr.

 

Pros:

 

*It would be under a Dr who is both an M.D. and a naturopath.

 

*Much of it is paid for.

 

*He has testing facilities that apparently are not found in many doctor's offices (according to dh).

 

*Dh and I would, in a way, have a vacation together.

 

Cons:

 

*It is so far away. If you had a side-effect to something you would have to call and try to resolve it long-distance.

 

*I have a hard time accepting such a generous gift. It somehow seems "wrong". (Dh disagrees with me.)

 

*My body is very sensitive. It took me over a month to slowly acclimate my body to the right dosage of 5-HTP. This supplement has helped me but there were a lot of side effects at first. Because of the long-distance nature of this treatment, you are tested for and put on a whole bunch of stuff all at once.

 

*What about the kids? Even though I have never been away from them for even a weekend, that doesn't worry me. I know they would be fine with Grandma and Grandpa. What does worry me is getting even further behind in school. Today (Feb. 5) we are doing lessons that were planned for Dec. 17. Grandma and Grandpa could not really help them with school.

 

*It would be exhausting. I have a hard time traveling etc. because of adrenal problems. Spending long hours for two whole days in the doctor's office seems overwhelming to me.

 

So what do you think?! Should I stay or should I go?

[Jen500]

The Dr. has a specific protocol he follows. For instance he says on his website that most chronic health problems are due to heavy metal toxicity and/or parasites and he automatically tests and treats those two things first.

 

This part would make me hesitant to put much of anyones $$, time and hopes into a trip.

[specialmama]

*I have a hard time accepting such a generous gift. It somehow seems "wrong". (Dh disagrees with me.)

 

 

 

I only have time to tackle this one point, Jean... but let me just say that your dh is wise. Sweety, if you wanted to (read: felt led to) give someone a gift... then what would you want the response to be? Of course, you would want the gift to be taken. Perhaps a small "thank you" mumbled, but you aren't doing it to be thanked, are you? You're doing it because you are led to do it, and want them to accept the gift. So this is one of times that you just seize the bull by the horns and stomp on all your pride and graciously say "thank you"... I hear your struggle, because I struggle in this area too. But I am learning what to do with a gift: take it and say thank you. ;)

[LisaS]

I can understand your hesitation about accepting such a generous gift. I have to agree with specialmama though. The giver is something to be taken to into consideration. Good luck.

[LBS]

your pro list seems more substantial than your con list, to my eye.

 

If you can use knowledge from the distant doctor, to enhance your treatments overseen by local doctor, that would be first choice for me. Do you have any MD locally who would partner with you, in your own naturopathic research, and also consider as well the added information from the distant MD/Naturopath? Will the distant doc understand the nature of fibro well enough to understand that you must treat it with a multi-pronged approach? and be able to consult with someone local? Maybe they have some support for this kind of distance treatment?

 

Since your husband is already committed to going to distant doc, you can gain more insight as to his treatment, even if you don't use him for yourself. No matter what his protocol, you can only add to your fund of information, by seeing him, if you do not agree to any treatments, and consult with another doc before starting any. IF you can do that, and IF distant-doc is not offended....which he should not be.

 

The gifting would bother me too. BUT, I'd suggest thanking that person in a way appropriate for your means and situation. Make them a special cake, nice dinner, gift of artwork....whatever you would do to thank someone for a really special gift or thoughfulness, since you cannot repay it and likely your friend does not expect anything at all.

 

I hope this has helped a bit. These are just the thoughts that jump out at me.

LBS

[Mynyel]

If the person is will to pay for it and it is going to help you or even potentially help you I might take it. I can't really help in that department.

In the school department I wouldn't even worry about being "behind". We homeschool can we really be "behind"? I am in the same boat school wise. We are doing things we should have been doing in December and we aren't doing school today. Very gloomy and overall cruddy and no one has any motivation today.

Remember that you don't have to do it all! Take the time during the summer to catch up. Even if you don't also remember that they retain waaaaay more than you think!

 

HTH!

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Denisemomof4]

I would pray about it and leave it in dh's lap to make the decision. I can see you're torn, so this is what I resort to when I can't decide for myself.

 

I understand your concerns, but the possibilities.......

 

And how dare you rob someone else of the blessing THEY will receive by giving this gift to you? :tongue_smilie: ;)

 

you're behind on school. You can make it up over the summer. And if you're feeling better, you'll have more energy to do more.

:grouphug:

[elfgivas]

if my dh wanted me to go, i'd go.... in part because its a way of honoring our relationship. being sick effects our spouse, not just us....

 

fwiw,

ann

[Tree House Academy]

A few things about the doctor do not sit right with me. The fact that he does DAYS worth of tests for everyone he sees and he tests for two main things and treats those first. That reminds me of this guy my son saw as a behavioral specialist. He decided most kids had ADHD because of constipation. :001_huh: And he treated every kid who came through the door with Miralax. WE didn't walk, we :auto: away!

 

The other thing that caught me was how this doctor will treat so many people from a long distance. That is not exactly good patient monitoring. What if there are things he treats you with that cause damage to organs over time and you need blood tests and such to make sure these organs are okay?? It seems negligent to expect patients to take all these meds and be "long distance" to boot.

 

I am sorry to be negative...I just didn't get a warm and fuzzy feeling about this doc when reading your post. Honestly, it quacked at me. :glare:

[Jean in Newcastle]

This part would make me hesitant to put much of anyones $$, time and hopes into a trip.

 

A few things about the doctor do not sit right with me. The fact that he does DAYS worth of tests for everyone he sees and he tests for two main things and treats those first. That reminds me of this guy my son saw as a behavioral specialist. He decided most kids had ADHD because of constipation. :001_huh: And he treated every kid who came through the door with Miralax. WE didn't walk, we :auto: away!

 

The other thing that caught me was how this doctor will treat so many people from a long distance. That is not exactly good patient monitoring. What if there are things he treats you with that cause damage to organs over time and you need blood tests and such to make sure these organs are okay?? It seems negligent to expect patients to take all these meds and be "long distance" to boot.

 

I am sorry to be negative...I just didn't get a warm and fuzzy feeling about this doc when reading your post. Honestly, it quacked at me. :glare:

 

Well, his preconceived ideas of the root of most chronic problems is a red flag for me too.

 

As to the long-distance thing, I get the feeling that if we were in the area that we would be going more slowly with regular office visits. Apparently he is famous enough that he has a whole protocol for dealing with out-of-town patients. But they do cram stuff in together in order to make the trip worth it for the patients. My problem is that I'm not sure that I'm healthy enough to cram stuff in. But maybe I am. It's one of those things it is really hard to gauge for sure.

[eternalknot]

I am currently being my own naturopath in a way. I am seeing some slow results.

 

I'd be hesitant to mess with something that is currently working, but it would also be hard to pass up an opportunity such as the one that has befallen you. Is the local naturapath a guaranteed thing - will he for certain accept you, or is the paperwork just the first formality so he can consider your case ...?

 

Cons:

*I have a hard time accepting such a generous gift. It somehow seems "wrong". (Dh disagrees with me.)

 

Is family paying for it? If so, I wouldn't feel badly about accepting it. That's what family is for - to help, and it's certainly more than helping you and DH -- it's helping your kids, too. If it's not family, wow - consider yourself even more blessed :) and still don't feel badly that someone who can, wants to help.

 

*My body is very sensitive. Because of the long-distance nature of this treatment, you are tested for and put on a whole bunch of stuff all at once.

 

Is this something you can call or email the MD/Naturopath about before you make a decision? Let him know your concerns, and see what he has to say. If nothing else, it will give you insight into his personality and whether that's a good fit for you (is he dismissive of your concerns? does he share your concerns?)

 

What does worry me is getting even further behind in school. Today (Feb. 5) we are doing lessons that were planned for Dec. 17. Grandma and Grandpa could not really help them with school.

 

Your health is obviously more important than maintaining a self-imposed school schedule. This shouldn't even factor into your ultimate decision.

 

*It would be exhausting. I have a hard time traveling etc. because of adrenal problems. Spending long hours for two whole days in the doctor's office seems overwhelming to me.

 

I also have adrenal issues, and I travel for work (flying 2-4 days at a time) so I completely empathize with how overwhelming a trip like this must sound to you. But really, I sleep poorly and get overwhelmed just being at home with homeschooling and day-to-day activities ... sometimes the anticipation of going to work makes me want to call in sick, but once I'm actually AT work it's not too different from being at home. And sometimes it's even better :D just like you had on your Pro list: think of it as a mini-vacation with your husband.

 

So what do you think?! Should I stay or should I go?

 

I say that it's worth considering, but is too soon to make a definitive answer. I'd email the MD/ND with my concerns and see he had to say; I'd also continue to get my paperwork done and turned into the local guy. Ideally I'd see both doctors for a consult and testing, and only decide which I wanted to work with AFTER they had both offered me a specific treatment plan.

 

Tough call; good luck. I sure hope that whichever choice you make, you find the quickest route to better health and comfort.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I wish we could find docs willing to be VERY open-minded. The body works as a whole and one thing (meat, parasites, constipation, whatever) isn't the cause of every issue on earth. This is why I'm so afraid to go to any more docs. It seems I have to go one way or another and no one has figured out the answer. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired (and I'm really not handling my children getting worse very well between the no answer thing and the guilt), but what is the point when you spend thousands of dollars to have a doc go off on their own thing. I have had docs go so far as to make things up (xrays and bloodwork prove otherwise so unless I'm chimeric also.....).

 

Sorry for the tangent. I hope you get good answers. I do wish you could find just the right doc who has his head on straight.

Edited February 5, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'd be hesitant to mess with something that is currently working, but it would also be hard to pass up an opportunity such as the one that has befallen you. Is the local naturapath a guaranteed thing - will he for certain accept you, or is the paperwork just the first formality so he can consider your case ...?

 

The local naturopath is a guaranteed thing. The only question would be how long I would have to wait for an appointment.

 

 

Is family paying for it? If so, I wouldn't feel badly about accepting it. That's what family is for - to help, and it's certainly more than helping you and DH -- it's helping your kids, too. If it's not family, wow - consider yourself even more blessed :) and still don't feel badly that someone who can, wants to help.

 

Not family.

 

Is this something you can call or email the MD/Naturopath about before you make a decision? Let him know your concerns, and see what he has to say. If nothing else, it will give you insight into his personality and whether that's a good fit for you (is he dismissive of your concerns? does he share your concerns?)

 

Hmm. Good advice! My dh did talk to him a bit about me when he was there a couple of months ago. His answer was that he thought he could help me but of course wouldn't know until he actually saw me and did some tests. But we didn't specifically ask him about whether the 2 day marathon would be too much for me or not.

 

Your health is obviously more important than maintaining a self-imposed school schedule. This shouldn't even factor into your ultimate decision.

 

Seems to be a consensus here on this point. What are you a bunch of slackers?:D Really - your points on this are good.

 

I also have adrenal issues, and I travel for work (flying 2-4 days at a time) so I completely empathize with how overwhelming a trip like this must sound to you. But really, I sleep poorly and get overwhelmed just being at home with homeschooling and day-to-day activities ... sometimes the anticipation of going to work makes me want to call in sick, but once I'm actually AT work it's not too different from being at home. And sometimes it's even better :D just like you had on your Pro list: think of it as a mini-vacation with your husband.

 

It is true that once I'm in the throes of something I do ok. It's just afterward that I completely collapse!

 

I say that it's worth considering, but is too soon to make a definitive answer. I'd email the MD/ND with my concerns and see he had to say; I'd also continue to get my paperwork done and turned into the local guy. Ideally I'd see both doctors for a consult and testing, and only decide which I wanted to work with AFTER they had both offered me a specific treatment plan.

 

Tough call; good luck. I sure hope that whichever choice you make, you find the quickest route to better health and comfort.

 

Thank you.

[LauraGB]

I haven't yet read all the responses (but I will, just short on time :)) but I say do it. If you have been delivered the gift of seeing someone else, with a different knowledge base, perhaps it was meant to be.

 

Also, I have followed all of your health concerns as you've posted them. If you have the opportunity to get an alternative opinion, please do it. I understand that the natural methods you have recently tried have been helping. Utilize the expertise of someone who has dedicated thier education in that capacity. It is a wonderful opportunity, I urge you to take it.

[TravelingChris]

I would have very strong reservations because of the two things he thinks most problems arise from. Heavy metal poisoning is very rare and the way to treat such a condition is a very heavy duty treatment. It is not something I would like to have casually diagnosed. The fact that he finds so many patients having this is very troubling. Then the parasite issue too. In the US, there are not very many people who have parasites unless they traveled to certain areas. My belief is that even though you have such a long list of pros, your gut feeling is one of hesitancy and skepticism. Not about Naturalopathy doctors but rather about this specific doctor. Otherwise, you would be simply asking us whether we think you should accept a gift to go to an expensive doctor and travel there. Here is another issue: if you go and do get a bad feeling about what the doctor is suggesting, are you going to take medicines or do procedures you wouldn't otherwise do because someone else paid for your visit and you feel guilty for using their money when you won't follow the doctor's advice. So I would strongly urge you not to accept.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would have very strong reservations because of the two things he thinks most problems arise from. Heavy metal poisoning is very rare and the way to treat such a condition is a very heavy duty treatment. It is not something I would like to have casually diagnosed. The fact that he finds so many patients having this is very troubling. Then the parasite issue too. In the US, there are not very many people who have parasites unless they traveled to certain areas. My belief is that even though you have such a long list of pros, your gut feeling is one of hesitancy and skepticism. Not about Naturalopathy doctors but rather about this specific doctor. Otherwise, you would be simply asking us whether we think you should accept a gift to go to an expensive doctor and travel there. Here is another issue: if you go and do get a bad feeling about what the doctor is suggesting, are you going to take medicines or do procedures you wouldn't otherwise do because someone else paid for your visit and you feel guilty for using their money when you won't follow the doctor's advice. So I would strongly urge you not to accept.

 

You are exactly right about the source of my hesitation. What confuses me though is that my level-thinking dh is very enthusiastic about the whole thing. I have no problem with him choosing to go. I'm not totally sure if he's ok with me not going (although he didn't make me go the first time, or anything like that.)

[Rosie_0801]

My first thoughts were:

a) Nothing ventured, nothing gained

b) There are ways to repay people. Heirloom style afghans and things like that.

 

But I don't know if you should go. I agree with the others about asking more questions.

 

Rosie

[Scarlett]

I have so much to say about this.

 

I will cut to the chase though and say I think you should accept the gift and go see this specialist.

 

I have a terminally ill best friend (since we were kids) who has more money than she can ever spend. She has spent a ton of money on the kind of doctor you are describing. I believe in my heart that she has delayed traditional/conventional chemo treatment for over 5 years with her non conventional treatments.

 

I say...why not? I don't believe the treatment is harmful and there is a very real possibility that she has been helped by it.

 

I would not take food out of my children's mouths for suspect treatment...but a gift? Yes. I would take it. And it doesn't matter to me that they aren't family. I have a VERY small blood family and a HUGE non blood family....I am very close to my non blood 'family'. I would give them anything I could to help them an if they offered it to me at no great harm to themselves, I would accept it graciously as I feel they were giving it with good motives and in love.

[MariannNOVA]

Jean: I PM-d you. Mariann :grouphug:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dh and I had a long talk on our walk tonight. He agreed that my concerns about having a 2 day marathon session at the Dr's office might be too much for me. He also agreed that it could be bad if I had a reaction to medication or treatment and then had to try and deal with it by phone.

 

I spent more time tonight on the website of the local clinic. For a naturopathic clinic they are pretty big - 5 Drs. on staff, a dispensary (a naturopathic pharmacy), labs etc. all on site. They list testing and treating parasites on their website as one of the things they deal with. They don't list heavy metal testing but I think I'll call them Monday and see what they say. I have promised dh that I will get the paperwork done this weekend and will send it in. (That doesn't mean I have to go see them but it will make it possible to see them sooner rather than later.)

 

I'm still not decided but I do have a plan for what to do next to help me decide!

[mom2abcd]

I just wanted to say what a gift someone is wanting to give you! How very caring and generous!

 

I would probably go and see what he has to say. I may not continue with him past the initial tests and whatever is paid for. And I would research whatever he says.

 

But after years of a chronic illness and many not understanding, I would go and see what I could get out of it.

 

Again-- just thanking God for caring people who are concerned for you. What a blessing!

[Impish]

If I had the chance at a possible improvement of quality of life, I'd mow my own children down getting out the door.

 

Hey, they wouldn't be dead or anything. Maybe a bump or bruise. :tongue_smilie:

 

Go.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If I had the chance at a possible improvement of quality of life, I'd mow my own children down getting out the door.

 

Hey, they wouldn't be dead or anything. Maybe a bump or bruise. :tongue_smilie:

 

Go.

 

:lol:

[MariannNOVA]

If I had the chance at a possible improvement of quality of life, I'd mow my own children down getting out the door.

 

Hey, they wouldn't be dead or anything. Maybe a bump or bruise. :tongue_smilie:

 

Go.

[elizabeth]

If you have not yet done so I urge you to see a rheumatologist. Mine worked wonders with my fibromyalgia. It is in the family of and functions like other autoimmune disorders. Unfortunately many serious autoimmune disorders can mimic the symptomology of fibromyalgia and those need to be knocked offf the list first and foremost. Specialists in the field see patients in a whole different way than family physicians. Unfortunately many ins co will not permit you to see a specialist until there is a diagnosis. Hard to get an accurate one when dealing with generalists. I wish you were in Nebraska at the Med Center, there are some absolutely wonderful rheumatologists on staff that will believe you and will do everything in their power to bring you relief without narcotics.

[JFSinIL]

Well, his preconceived ideas of the root of most chronic problems is a red flag for me too.

.

 

And me. This isn't Dr. Mercola is it??? Or Pfieffer Institute????

[Jean in Newcastle]

And me. This isn't Dr. Mercola is it??? Or Pfieffer Institute????

 

Neither.

[LittleIzumi]

I would have very strong reservations because of the two things he thinks most problems arise from. Heavy metal poisoning is very rare and the way to treat such a condition is a very heavy duty treatment. It is not something I would like to have casually diagnosed. The fact that he finds so many patients having this is very troubling. Then the parasite issue too. In the US, there are not very many people who have parasites unless they traveled to certain areas. My belief is that even though you have such a long list of pros, your gut feeling is one of hesitancy and skepticism. Not about Naturalopathy doctors but rather about this specific doctor. Otherwise, you would be simply asking us whether we think you should accept a gift to go to an expensive doctor and travel there. Here is another issue: if you go and do get a bad feeling about what the doctor is suggesting, are you going to take medicines or do procedures you wouldn't otherwise do because someone else paid for your visit and you feel guilty for using their money when you won't follow the doctor's advice. So I would strongly urge you not to accept.

 

:iagree:

 

:grouphug::grouphug: