How do you make them do school?

[lakotajm]

Just as it sounds, this question is the root of my bad days and the bane of my homeschool existence:

How do you make them do it?

I mean, let me paint you a portrait and tell me how you'd turn it around:

 

My littles will often get out a toy or some activity even before breakfast, and then even though they know it's coming, when I announce it is time for school, they begin the whining, etc.

Even my older moans and groans and tries stalling techniques.

Sometimes it causes very ugly scenes (and here I mean me). I may yell or growl or worse before we ever get out of subject one (which is Bible-making it doubly shameful). I use a timer for transitions, try to use pleasant, encouraging tones (at first). But sometimes it's just like, "Hey, you've got to do school and you know it, now just stop your fit and get your butt in that seat".

I am so tired of the fight, I often just want to give up.

 

Lakota

[Lovedtodeath]

In our house, I try to make Bible study a part of our morning. When we pray at breakfast for help improving our attitudes and then do Bible while the kids are eating it really helps.

 

We sometimes get into it before then too.

 

We had a couple of really good days. I used Outlook so that every subject and chores were on a schedule, and I made a report card up that included promptness and cooperativeness. DH rewards DD when she has a good report card. Our biggest problem is that I never stick to a schedule.

[MerryAtHope]

Just as it sounds, this question is the root of my bad days and the bane of my homeschool existence:

How do you make them do it?

I mean, let me paint you a portrait and tell me how you'd turn it around:

 

My littles will often get out a toy or some activity even before breakfast, and then even though they know it's coming, when I announce it is time for school, they begin the whining, etc.

Even my older moans and groans and tries stalling techniques.

Sometimes it causes very ugly scenes (and here I mean me). I may yell or growl or worse before we ever get out of subject one (which is Bible-making it doubly shameful). I use a timer for transitions, try to use pleasant, encouraging tones (at first). But sometimes it's just like, "Hey, you've got to do school and you know it, now just stop your fit and get your butt in that seat".

I am so tired of the fight, I often just want to give up.

 

Lakota

 

What's the consequence for whining? In my house, they'd lose the toy for the day. It would go to toy jail for causing them to not want to do school. I would explain this to them after Christmas break, the night before school is to start. Something like, "Dear cherub 6 and 4 yo's, we've gotten into a bad habit. You whine every day for school, and then I yell. Will you forgive me for yelling and being ugly towards you? (be specific if you can). Now, we need to work together because we don't want any more of these scenes. What can we do to make our mornings go more smoothly? What will you do to stop whining in the mornings?" And see what they say. This gets them to take some responsibility for their actions. Might be tough for the 4 yo, the 6 yo should be able to come up with something though. But either way, then I'd probably add, "Well, I can't continue to allow you to be whiny and disobey mommy when it's time for school. That's dishonoring to God. From now on, if a toy causes you to not want to do school, it will go to toy jail for the day (show them where it is--on a high shelf or wherever.). I don't want that to happen, but if you choose to disobey Mommy by whining, you are choosing that consequence. Do you understand?"

 

I often used those exact words, even when mine were very little--if you choose to disobey, you choose a consequence. They learned quickly!

 

BTW, I considered whining and stalling as responses to be disobeying. When kids learn that they can't flat out say no to you, they take up these responses. How would you respond if they flat out said no to you? Think of it in that light, and then let them know they are on shaky ground here! I taught my kids the meaning of obedience using a 5-finger rhyme (start the first phrase while pointing to the thumb & the next with the index finger, etc...):

 

Yes mom, I'll obey, Right away, All the way, the Happy way (not saying no, whining, arguing, etc...)

 

Also, I used to send mine to a chair or their beds, and told them to pray, and to come back when they were ready to ask for forgiveness and try to do school with a good attitude. One would come in 5-10 minutes, one took 30 or longer several times--eventually decided that wasn't worth it though, LOL! I always prayed for them and for my attitude, for patience & love for them etc... while they were gone.

 

Now, I'll add my disclaimer. School was never mandatory here for a 4 yo. Chores were mandatory, and I used these strategies about chores, but not about school. Also, even for a bright and advanced child, there might be days where doing SL core 1 or Miquon would just not be fun for a 4 yo (I realize said 4 yo may be demanding to do what the 6 yo does--my dd did that at 4, LOL! But I still let it be optional at that age). So, consider whether some of the whining might have a legitimate root to it.

 

One more idea--have you ever looked at using workboxes with them? This is a fun, concrete, visual way of showing them what their school day is (and you can put fun things in for their ages like puzzles, play dough, manipulatives etc... in addition to their regular stuff). Sometimes the fun extras in a box are a surprise that help to motivate kids to do school. (Mine are older & just want to get their regular stuff done, LOL! Still, workboxes seem to help motivate them because it makes things clear--it's like a 3-d schedule with everything neatly stored).

 

HTH some! Merry :-)

Edited December 26, 2009 by MerryAtHope

[StephanieZ]

Just as it sounds, this question is the root of my bad days and the bane of my homeschool existence:

How do you make them do it?

I mean, let me paint you a portrait and tell me how you'd turn it around:

 

My littles will often get out a toy or some activity even before breakfast, and then even though they know it's coming, when I announce it is time for school, they begin the whining, etc.

Even my older moans and groans and tries stalling techniques.

Sometimes it causes very ugly scenes (and here I mean me). I may yell or growl or worse before we ever get out of subject one (which is Bible-making it doubly shameful). I use a timer for transitions, try to use pleasant, encouraging tones (at first). But sometimes it's just like, "Hey, you've got to do school and you know it, now just stop your fit and get your butt in that seat".

I am so tired of the fight, I often just want to give up.

 

Lakota

 

Others have given you very good advice. Choose your limits and then impose consequences/rewards. . .

 

I'll say that I think 4 is too young for mandatory school. And, too young for SL1. Def too young for SL1 to be mandatory.

 

I'd make all school "invitational" and "optional" for the 4 yo.

 

In a few months (after detoxing a bit), your 4yo will probably *want* to do school again. If so, offer workbooks, games, and reading that is very fun and low stress. For us at 4 yo, I offered Montessori style manipulatives, ZB Handwriting, ETC workbooks, Singapore Early Bird. . . violin lessons (actually those were mandatory), and 100EZL. . . it was all optional (except violin but I made sure that was very fun). If dc didn't want to do it, FINE.

 

(BUT, the school room only had educational toys/activities in it. . . So if the younger child wanted to be in the school room, the options were schooling stuff, puzzles, manipulatives, etc. No "Games" or "Toys".)

 

That'll allow you to focus on your 6 yo for dc6's schooling, which will make it more fun for dc6. . . and might reduce the resistance.

 

Also, my dc do MUCH MUCH better if we have a FIRM schedule for the day. When I discipline *myself* to keep a schedule, the kids have SUCH better attitudes. (This takes just a few days to bear fruit. . . kids accept patterns so quickly!)

 

HTH

[....]

I have a 4 yro daughter and there is N O W A Y that kid could sit through anything remotely school-related. She has the attention span of a fruit fly. However, if I were going to do some stuff with her, I think breaking the lessons into 5-7 minute intervals might be OK... We also do Sonlight (just started Core 2) and the 4 yro doesn't like to listen in either - I think the stories are just too difficult to follow. Have you looked at Sonlight P3/4? I think the read-alouds are pretty good for that age (the K looked cute too).

 

As far as the older kids - a firm schedule (like the other poster said). Maybe you could even get your oldest daughter her own academic schedule book - so she would know what's coming and can plan accordingly (I'm going to try this with my 8 yro next year).

 

As far as 6 year-olds...:nopity:I have one too... When he gets out of line, I point towards the public school and tell him I can have him start classes tomorrow and he always shapes up... (we didn't have the greatest ps experience, if you can't already tell). Supernanny might say that's a bad parenting idea, so maybe you could give her 2 warnings and then remove a privilege. :D

[Laura Corin]

I would allow the four year old to play. Hobbes started learning to read when he was four, but only because he asked. I made other school (reading aloud to him, etc.) very casual at that age. We did Singapore Maths Early Bird, but very much as and when he wanted to.

 

Then you can concentrate on the 6yo. I still wouldn't do much more than an hour or so of school each day with him. Maybe twenty minutes of English, twenty minutes of maths and twenty minutes of something else. Then the rest of the day can be taken up with play, crafts, chores and (very important for attitude and good behaviour) at least an hour of exercise. I find it easiest to have a firm start time each day (9am works for us) but others find it easier to slide into school.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

[stripe]

I would also consider NOT announcing that it's time to start school. I think that's become a trigger for disaster. And you may want to start with the most captivating stuff first (e.g. some wild science experiment or a really fascinating work of art or a really enthralling religious tale).

[Capt_Uhura]

Yep, I wouldn't announce either. Since I've started with poetry read aloud, Art Book for Kids where we read about one artwork each day, the mornings go much more smoothly. I think all 3 of us snuggled on the couch puts everyone in a more cooperative mood.

[Mallory]

Having thier own schedules helps, especially for the 14yo. They each have a chart with assisgnments and boxes to mark for each day. What ever we don't get done during the week means she'll be doing it largely alone during the weekends. And vice versa, last week she wanted to get done early and had almost everything done (just some reading) by wen. so she could go visit a friend for most of the week.

 

I also would not only not require school of the 4yo, even at 6 I would be look very hard at myself and why school is such a problem. And make most of the changes with me. How much does he really need to do a day? What can I change around to make things better? Reading in bed before they even got up works so well here, it is amazing how well my two big boys concentrate. Could they "teach" the toy the lesson, especially if it is an animal or baby? Or act out the lesson with the toy- drive the truck in the shape of the letter, or do math with lego pieces? Is there a time that works better for them? As little school as they are doing there is no reason the little ones to start right after breakfast.

 

I also agree that the whining and bad attitudes need to change. I also send kids away from the school table to calm down. I don't teach kids who are dragging their feet and making things harder. And they know that just means they'll still have school to do later when everyone else has moved on. Again even at 6 I wasn't really doing this, not that attitude isn't a problem at that age, I just usually took it as my attitude that needed help first, then thiers usually follows.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

I let my boys get a slow start in the morning. They need some time to lay around. However....there does come a time when we have to start or we'll never finish.

 

I use the timer. I'll tell them, "In X minutes we're going to start school. I'm setting the timer." then I set the timer. When it rings, it is the timer telling them it is time to start, not me. I give them a reasonable amount of time, like 10 or 15 minutes, so the transition is not abrupt and I'm not just yanking them from whatever is going on in their minds into something else.

 

The timer is my friend. I use it a lot and for my kids it is very effective. I think it makes an easier transition with the warning. Also, the time limit is clear and if they aren't ready to do whatever when the timer rings, they know they'll have a consequence. What that consequence is varies, depending on whether they're actively cleaning up a project, working on something else, or just flat ignoring (which really hasn't happened).

 

When DD5 is home, she chooses to school. She pesters me for pencil work, reading, crafts....I have to set the timer for myself. "In 15 minutes I'll get up and do some schoolwork with you."

Edited December 26, 2009 by MeanestMomInMidwest

[Homeschooling6]

When my oldest was 6yrs. old we didn't do a whole lot of 'formal' school. I believe we did math and SL Core 1 with SL LA and that was it.

My now 6yr. old only does 20 minutes of phonics, 10 minutes of cursive and 20 minutes of math. Learning cursive isn't always paper and pen. Somdays it's the salt box or another cursive related idea.

 

The children know that school is a part of life. It has to be done. It's not an option. My children do not jump for joy about school but they do it without complaining and whining. I have taught them that everything we do is for the glory of God. We eat, sleep, walk and do school all for His glory.

We start with Bible, move onto our phonograms, do math facts and then everyone splits up and gets to work.

Ever since my oldest just started with our homeschool I always let them know it's a privilege to be able to learn and have always been excited about it. I myself am learning so much by homeschooling and I'll let them know when I learned something new and I think they see me excited and it's well, exciting:D Even now that we are using textbooks I love reading them ;)

The children listen to many audio books as well and they will tell me what they are learning and I'll be honest with them and say I didn't know that. I have also told them that at their age I didn't know half the Bible, History and science that they know:001_huh:

I don't go out of my way to make school 'fun' or exciting and I'm not saying that everyday is happy and jolly. I'm not jumping hoops to get them to be excited about learning. I think they just see that learning is a joy and a blessing, it's a wonderful gift God gave us.

Edited December 26, 2009 by Homeschooling6

[Homeschooling6]

 

Think of it in that light, and then let them know they are on shaky ground here! I taught my kids the meaning of obedience using a 5-finger rhyme (start the first phrase while pointing to the thumb & the next with the index finger, etc...):

 

 

Merry, I have my 5-finger rhyme hanging in my school area. I bought this when Josh was 6yr. old ;) Now I am using it with my two youngest.

[Caribbean Queen]

I would also consider NOT announcing that it's time to start school. I think that's become a trigger for disaster. And you may want to start with the most captivating stuff first (e.g. some wild science experiment or a really fascinating work of art or a really enthralling religious tale).

 

I love the idea of starting with something fun. I believe in making it easy for children to obey. I also try to make lessons enjoyable. I also believe in optional 'school' for little ones.

 

But I also believe that when children don't want to obey, they need to suck it up and say, "Yes, Mom."

[woolybear]

Have you looked into workboxes? That might be helpful in adding in some fun/motivational things and the people on the yahoo group have some good ideas for the littles. I agree that four is too young for mandatory school. That time could be crafts, puzzles, picture books. Even the six yo shouldn't have too much expected, imho.:)

 

You can do a search here on workboxes or try the yahoo groups if you haven't read about it yet.

[woolybear]

Plus, if you organize the workboxes with the kind of activities I mentioned, it is still you planning it. That way the younger ones get the idea that for a certain part of the day it is "mom time", meaning you follow mom's ideas (be it doing puzzles or history as they get older). I think it could help establish a pattern. Also, it will keep the youngers busy while the older one gets some work done.

Edited December 27, 2009 by woolybear
change word

[jld]

A 6 year old who isn't interested in school may become a 7 or 8 year old who can't get enough of it. Why not just relax and let your children play for a few weeks or months and see what they're ready for then?

[Stacy in NJ]

how do you make them do anything? Brush their teeth, make their bed, speak respectfully?

 

For me, it's all about consequences, both positive and negative. I find that when I'm clear and consistent with expectations and consequences, we have a much calmer and more cooperative atmosphere in our home.

[Lovedtodeath]

I didn't notice SL core 1 on the curriculum list! My DD might be ready for it now, maybe... we are mostly sticking to the K read alouds that we didn't finish because she wasn't ready for those at 4 or at 6. She was 7 in July.

[nmoira]

 

For me, it's all about consequences, both positive and negative. I find that when I'm clear and consistent with expectations and consequences, we have a much calmer and more cooperative atmosphere in our home.

But the onus is on us to set reasonable expectations.

[kalanamak]

I would allow the four year old to play. Hobbes started learning to read when he was four, but only because he asked. I made other school (reading aloud to him, etc.) very casual at that age. We did Singapore Maths Early Bird, but very much as and when he wanted to.

 

Then you can concentrate on the 6yo. I still wouldn't do much more than an hour or so of school each day with him. Maybe twenty minutes of English, twenty minutes of maths and twenty minutes of something else. Then the rest of the day can be taken up with play, crafts, chores and (very important for attitude and good behaviour) at least an hour of exercise. I find it easiest to have a firm start time each day (9am works for us) but others find it easier to slide into school.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

I try to get kiddo run and fed before I start. He is energetic, and, at 7, is just now starting to be able to do morning school when I'm home from work.

 

I can't have a firm start time, because I work, and because we work around any socialization opportunities, but I do announce school time. This means stop the jokes and interrupting questions and the "Oh! X [some stuffed animal] is giving birth. I must bring her refreshments." interruptions. I also announce what we will cover, and what wonderful, desirable thing will take place AFTER the school work is done.

 

This year we have had the serious "school is your work, and everyone works" talk, as well as the timed day of ps ("right now your friend is getting on a shuttle for a half hour ride to his school" "It is lunch at school. You wouldn't have had a chance to eat until now"). I want him invested in the advantages of hs, and am calmly realistic about what they are, now that I think him old enough to comprehend. However, 4 and 6, for him, was too young.

 

I do sometimes get stern. I make it clear that X will be done, if I think he just needs a goose to get started. Thus far the once a month stern talk has worked. Of course, I work out that he isn't starving, that the birds do have enough seed in the feeder, that there isn't a smokey smell in the house, and that I really don't have to go to work at that moment :) before I lay down the line. However, some children are whine-prone, and may need something different. Mine is the goofy-cheerful type.

[Macrina]

I let them feel let they are pchoosing to do school, on hard days. I let them know we have XYZ subjects to today or X many hours to get done and here are the times of day that you can work on it. Then I give them some possible times frames. DS likes to put it off, DD likes to get it over with. But when that time comes, I can say."OK, ds, it's 3pm, we need to work until Dad get home, jut like you said you would."

[Stacy in NJ]

But the onus is on us to set reasonable expectations.

 

Right. And that's easier said than done.

[amtmcm]

I love the suggestions you've received so far. The one thing that occurred to me in reading your note is it sounds like your children are feeding off each other's whining? I found that I cannot homeschool mine together.

 

My DD8th has a schedule to follow and she works independently. Her school starts promptly at 8:30, period. If she's dawdling, I warn her and give her 5 minutes grace. If she's over 5 minutes late or it's becoming habitual she loses a privilege.

 

I have found with DD4th that I have to get myself ready and start school with her before she gets interested in something else. If she gets into a craft, toy or puzzle before I'm ready for school then I have a really hard time transitioning her into schoolwork. It's a huge incentive for me to get up early because I know our morning will go more smoothly if I'm ready to start school before she's found something else to do.

 

Can you focus on getting your oldest back on track and temporarily easing up on your youngers like others have suggested? I imagine your DD13 feels very distracted by your younger ones playing and whining? Can you send them out of the room so DD13 can get her day started off on a good note? Maybe use the timer method someone else suggested and tell DD6 she has 15 minutes to play while big sister gets started? If you're doing Bible lessons together can you do it right before lunch or in the evening as a family?

 

Again, I do Bible separately with my girls. My DD4th and I snuggle on the couch reading Bible stories first thing in the morning. Sometimes DD8th joins us, but she has her own Bible lesson and we have a separate time to discuss it together.

 

I had visions of happy, obedient children sitting at the table together doing hands-on history projects and listening to read-alouds. But my girls are too academically different to teach them anything together productively. My days are much smoother when I keep them apart for school (one in dining room, one in school room) and I can focus on each of their needs & strengths separately. Just thought I'd mention it in case separating your DD's would cut down on the younger ones influencing your DD13 to join in the whining?

Edited December 26, 2009 by amtmcm

[Julie in MN]

I try to get kiddo run and fed before I start.

 

This is a great idea!

 

When my youngest started homeschooling (3rd grade), he was still in the stage where he played right when he got up. Believe me, that will change when they get closer to teen-hood, and dragging themselves out of bed.

 

In the early years, we started with a "morning meeting time" which included fun things like singing, saying the pledge, or checking the weather on the outdoor thermometer. It was short. To keep it short, I needed to be prepared, so I kept an index card where I gathered different ideas for the meeting. I remember one day a week we planned the upcoming week of "school lunch menus."

 

After that, we did Bible, for a nice subject to start with.

 

Another idea I like from David Hazell of MFW is that if the child is unable to arrive at school on time & fully prepared, his bedtime the night before becomes half an hour earlier... and earlier... and earlier! (ETA: This would be at least age 6 or 7 at my house.)

 

Julie

Edited December 28, 2009 by Julie in MN

[hsmom27]

You've gotten some really great advice already. I second the idea of exercise first though.

 

Also, you might try, "We can't get to B, before A is done." That one is simple even for 4yo. They never HAVE to do school. But if a play date comes up, well, they can't do B before A is finished. If there's a TV show they want to watch, great! But they can't do B before A is done. If they whine, leave the room. It usually only takes missing a couple things before they start scheduling themselves, even the littles, without you having to say anything.

[eternalknot]

Where are you doing school? If you're at a desk or table, perhaps parts of school can be moved down to a coffee table or the floor. We don't use Miquon so I'm not familiar with it, but we do MUS on the floor - it definitely helps us to move around to different "stations" throughout the day. We always started or ended with math.

 

Could you start School with some sort of "circle time" to transition from early morning playtime to your schoolday ... maybe on the floor where they're playing, or snuggled on the couch? Circle Time could be when you cover the daily Bible reading (then have your older son pick up any toys that were taken out that morning) or have your older child read a short story or Sonlight selection to the kids while you pick up and put away any toys/distractions.

 

For the older child, he is old enough to appreciate the importance of your time - and to respect it. I've never looked into Sonlight so I'm not familiar with how it goes other than I know there are books. Lots of books LOL. I'd carve out a specific schedule of availability - meaning he knows you are available from x-time to y-time to work with him on his schoolwork. Any work not completed in that time becomes homework. And homework is done when it can be fit in (by you), it is not done whenever he suddenly decides he is going to do his work.

[lakotajm]

I'll say that I think 4 is too young for mandatory school. And, too young for SL1. Def too young for SL1 to be mandatory.

 

I'd make all school "invitational" and "optional" for the 4 yo.

 

Yeah, when I say I have the 4 yo doing SL 1, that seems rough, but the truth of the matter is that it is highly modified for her; is mostly because she is advanced in phonics, and there was no way I could afford 3 cores! I couldn't even afford all the items for the 2 we do use. So where the assignment is to copy two sentences, she is asked to copy 3 words, etc.

I tried making it optional for her and it just didn't work out. Either dd6 would get jealous of her freedom, or dd4 would want to nose in on dd6. So I just gave up and made school "mandatory" for everyone.

 

In a few months (after detoxing a bit), your 4yo will probably *want* to do school again. If so, offer workbooks, games, and reading that is very fun and low stress. For us at 4 yo, I offered Montessori style manipulatives, ZB Handwriting, ETC workbooks, Singapore Early Bird. . . violin lessons (actually those were mandatory), and 100EZL. . . it was all optional (except violin but I made sure that was very fun). If dc didn't want to do it, FINE.

 

See, I could not see a 4 yo doing violin. I tried teaching her "hot cross buns" on the recorder and she wouldn't even sit still long enough to make the first note!

 

(BUT, the school room only had educational toys/activities in it. . . So if the younger child wanted to be in the school room, the options were schooling stuff, puzzles, manipulatives, etc. No "Games" or "Toys".)

 

We all 6 (including Grandma) live crammed into my Mom's 1 bedroom house due to natural disasters dislacing us every few years (first a fire then a flood). So school room is also the living room and all 3 kids' bedroom, and the play room! There is no way to keep the toys and videos from enticing them. It just isn't possible. They are 12 feet away!

 

That'll allow you to focus on your 6 yo for dc6's schooling, which will make it more fun for dc6. . . and might reduce the resistance.

 

DD6 does like individual attention. We tried one-at-a-time school for a few days but it actually took longer, and still too many interruptions.

 

Also, my dc do MUCH MUCH better if we have a FIRM schedule for the day. When I discipline *myself* to keep a schedule, the kids have SUCH better attitudes. (This takes just a few days to bear fruit. . . kids accept patterns so quickly!)

 

We are supposed to have a firm schedule but can never make it stick.

 

 

HTH

 

I hate to sound like I am just offering up excuses for why I can't take anyone's advice. I really do hope to glean a few gems. But it does seem our circumstances and their personalities limit us greatly. Sigh...

 

Lakota

[christine in al]

A set time to start,

and a bell rather than me " telling " them. I think it's being " told " that's the trigger for mine.

 

We have a Tibetan prayer bell and sounding it reminds me to relax and breathe and tells them that school has started.

 

 

Oh, and if you exile them ( time out,, which I use sometimes)

make sure that when they come back, you take a minute to hug them and welcome them back with full joy. And a new beginning.

 

And not too much, especailly at 4.

~c.

[christine in al]

Maybe try schooling somewhere else.

Library?

 

If there is a story time for your 4 year old, go every week and do work with the others at that time , then everyone get books. ( you are going to get educational videos especially for the 4 year old to watch during school time)

 

If your mother and grandmother are supportive, that's great. Can they possible keep the littlest one busy for one hour a day ( reading the library books you got while you were there this week)

while you help others.

 

And I have exactly the same probelme sometimes with mine, and alot more resources... and FOR ME,,, I am just having to cowgirl up and be touch.

 

good luck.

~Christine in al

[lakotajm]

Maybe try schooling somewhere else.

Library?

 

If there is a story time for your 4 year old, go every week and do work with the others at that time , then everyone get books. ( you are going to get educational videos especially for the 4 year old to watch during school time)

 

If your mother and grandmother are supportive, that's great. Can they possible keep the littlest one busy for one hour a day ( reading the library books you got while you were there this week)

while you help others.

 

And I have exactly the same probelme sometimes with mine, and alot more resources... and FOR ME,,, I am just having to cowgirl up and be touch.

 

good luck.

~Christine in al

 

We live an hour away from the library. We go one day a week when we stay over night with my grandmother. To clarify, when I said grandma living with us, I meant my Mom. She is not very supportive and seldom feels like helping and doesn't like kids. She also is rarely home. She works part-time as a homemaker and stays with my grandmother the rest of the time, to help her out. I am alone most of the week (dh is a truck driver).

I had thought about doing some schooling at the library, but there wouldn't be much we could get done then. Maybe the oldest? DD6 is so entranced with selecting and reading books, I could not pry her away to do school, I'm sure. DD4 usually plays with the toys/puzzles there. The story time is held at the same time as our homeschool co-op.

 

Oh, btw, dd4 is actually dd5 now, as today is her birthday. For her cake, she requested a zebra butt. I am not kidding. She is quirky! All the relatives loved it! Aunt Cindy requsted one for her next birthday!:D

 

Lakota

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

Can you change the school space? Hang a curtain to rope off a toy-free hideaway where you have school, or even throw a blanket over the kitchen table and sit under there with your dc to read school books?

 

Either the curtain or the blanket could be removed when school time was over.

 

I'm just thinking that if you can't go somewhere else, maybe you can make a room-within-a-room.

[tricia]

After homeschooling 12 kids for 23 years and still homeschooling my dh just says in a nutshell to them when we have those day. "You don't have to, you get to." Basically, it's not a choice and if they want any freedoms then school must be done first.

[radiobrain]

Maybe this sounds odd, but for us it depends on which parent is teaching....

 

My husband does a morning and evening reading/ copywork lesson. This is basically where each boy will read aloud to him for a certain amount of time/pages. He then copies down all the words they had trouble with and has them do copywork with it later. He is totally inflexible about it. The boys know that. I do not do any work with them until this is finished.

 

I ease into the day...

 

After DAD time, I will read out loud to them while they play with legos. Sometimes it is a history book, sometimes Lit., sometimes a math book (Life of Fred, Penrose the mathmatical cat etc.). They know that once I finished that they will have about 10 min. while I get more coffee, get dressed and get lessons together.

 

Basically, we have a flexible routine... they know that math and cursive are first (after my read out loud stuff, and I let them choose which they want to do first) and that I will have a certain amount of work for them to complete in a day. We might have an activity scheduled for later, and if they get too whiny or are not paying attention... it doesn't happen. I usually will let them play on the computer for 20 min. after they finish all their work, and that reward is usually enough to get them through their work. ;)

 

I don't know if this helps, but I felt the need to share!:tongue_smilie:

[radiobrain]

Oh, and I forgot to mention, that when my kids are being jerks....

 

I threaten them with going to school and riding the school bus.

 

I explain that I don't HAVE to HS them, it is a privelige. I also explain, that there might be a point when they will need to go to school, and if that is the case, I will research all the schools, find the best one etc... but if they just don't bother and treat me like garbage, I will send them to the crappy school around the corner.

 

maybe that is harsh but they shape up immediately. Sometimes they forget how good they have it. ;)

[akmyilee]

Oh, and I forgot to mention, that when my kids are being jerks....

 

I threaten them with going to school and riding the school bus.

 

I explain that I don't HAVE to HS them, it is a privelige. I also explain, that there might be a point when they will need to go to school, and if that is the case, I will research all the schools, find the best one etc... but if they just don't bother and treat me like garbage, I will send them to the crappy school around the corner.

 

maybe that is harsh but they shape up immediately. Sometimes they forget how good they have it. ;)

 

I am so glad that I am not the only one that does this............I've always felt so quilty for threatening PS, but it is really effective. (I dont' think it will be so much with dd though.......)

[....]

What would Supernanny say? :tongue_smilie: LOL!

 

I sometimes threaten to drop my 6 yro off at the nearest elementary school the second he starts complaining. :auto: He shapes up immediately.

 

No more Star Wars Readers...no more Horatio on the Bridge...no more 3-D volcanos...no more Swimming Creatures...no more homeschool get-togethers...no more trips to see authentic dinosaur footprints...no more Geography workbooks...no more CURSIVE in 2nd grade! (AHHHHHH!!!!) evil laugh...

[Lovedtodeath]

Oh, one thing... my DD really resists read alouds. She loves to draw, especially copying cartoon pictures off of the computer. So, I have her sit at the computer and draw a picture while I read. She can hear what I am saying and respond to the story even though she is doing something else. When I complained about SL everyone chimed in and said to let her play with something (legos, playdo, etc.) or draw while I was reading. HTH

[AngelBee]

:lurk5:

[Penelope]

Be careful with threatening public school, lol. This worked at 6 the couple of times I got mad and said it, but this year, on bad days, ds tells me he would like to try school.

 

And truthfully, that isn't an option for our family at this time. Private schools would be our choice, and you can't generally just drop into one of those mid-year. :P And we are committed to homeschooling, and I told him that. That we will make it work, this is his job, yada yada. So I can't really threaten him with school anymore, lol. Now I talk more about preparing him for life, and how his life will be enhanced by learning to work diligently, learning to write well, the habit of doing his best, etc. But at 4 and 6 that definitely did not help, though I tried!

[Julie Herbster]

I haven't read all of the posts in this thread, but I appreciate the ones I have read. Something the OP said stuck out to me...the fact that the kids get a toy out before breakfast, which seems to start the day off on the wrong foot. Maybe someone else has already said this, but...I do not allow my kids to play at all before breakfast/school. Their time is regulated (some would say strictly, but I don't feel that way about it, and I don't think the kids do, either) until school starts. I have enough trouble getting five kids awake and going the same direction without added distractions (toys, etc.) to deal with. Here is our morning routine, FWIW. The times are flexible, but the routine stays the same, so the kids know there's no 'playtime' scheduled before school.

 

6:30: Older kids rise and have personal quiet time/meditation/devotions.

7:00: Younger kids rise; all kids get dressed, make beds, and put away PJ's.

7:15: Breakfast (If by chance somone has gotten out a toy or book, it gets put away/forgotten at this time.)

7:30: Kids' personal grooming, minimal chores, piano practice rotation begins.

7:45: I start school with my K-5er while the older ones get started on the school work they can do independently, and take turns practicing piano. (At this time, the 4yo is assigned to an area to play. We have fun stuff for him to do at different locations. He really likes the structure, and has his favorite 'stations.')

 

HTH

Edited December 28, 2009 by Julie Herbster

[mrs.m]

I agree about the PS threats. I'm not sure how many of us would actually follow through on that threat! I don't offer consequences that I'm not willing to follow through on. I could honestly see my DD saying, "Fine!" in a heated moment and then I would have to back track. If you are honestly willing to follow through, then I guess it's ok to do. And then there's also the idea that someday you might need to send them to school. You don't want them to see that as a punishment. Life has its twists and turns and it could only make a hard time even worse.

 

I'm new to this so I don't really feel like I should be giving advice. But last fall we had our days where it felt impossible to get them going! I focus on the the priviledges of being homeschooled. So I might allow them to wear their PJ's on a hard day or bring their stuffed animals to the school table and let them teach them about their school work. Or start with a game or story. They burn out like we do, so I look at what we've been doing that might be making them avoid it and I won't start with that subject.

Edited December 28, 2009 by jannylynn

[Lovedtodeath]

I haven't read all of the posts in this thread, but I appreciate the ones I have read. Something the OP said stuck out to me...the fact that the kids get a toy out before breakfast, which seems to start the day off on the wrong foot. Maybe someone else has already said this, but...I do not allow my kids to play at all before breakfast/school. Their time is regulated (some would say strictly, but I don't feel that way about it, and I don't think the kids do, either) until school starts.

Children's Miracle Music is very good for this!

[Homeschooling6]

Children's Miracle Music is very good for this!

 

This is what we use. Most of my dc will get up. I'm still working on my two youngest. They seem like their sleep:)

[Julie Herbster]

Children's Miracle Music is very good for this!

Do share; I'm out of the loop on this one! What is Children's Miracle Music? I could sure use some morning miracles at my house!

[radiobrain]

I agree about the PS threats. I'm not sure how many of us would actually follow through on that threat! I don't offer consequences that I'm not willing to follow through on. I could honestly see my DD saying, "Fine!" in a heated moment and then I would have to back track. If you are honestly willing to follow through, then I guess it's ok to do. And then there's also the idea that someday you might need to send them to school. You don't want them to see that as a punishment. Life has its twists and turns and it could only make a hard time even worse.

 

I'm new to this so I don't really feel like I should be giving advice. But last fall we had our days where it felt impossible to get them going! I focus on the the priviledges of being homeschooled. So I might allow them to wear their PJ's on a hard day or bring their stuffed animals to the school table and let them teach them about their school work. Or start with a game or story. They burn out like we do, so I look at what we've been doing that might be making them avoid it and I won't start with that subject.

 

You either missed part of what I said, or I didn't state it very clearly. ;)

 

I only threaten with going to the crappy PS up the street, not ANY school, only THAT school. There is no way they would ever even think about taking me up on that one! Trust me! If I were just threatening them w/ going to school, that would totally backfire in my face... but I am very specific. Not a school that your friends go to, not such and such private school, not a good magnet school...THAT SCHOOL. And riding the bus. for an hour. When the school is half a block away. The bus stop is farther than the school. They already know all sorts of horrible school bus stories from friends.

 

I have always explained that HSing is a priviledge (I can not spell that word! arg!) but that schools are not all awful and they might need to go to one in the future (not from choice but necessity)~ and if that were the case I would research a LOT before choosing the best school for them. I don't trash all schools, that would be a mistake.

 

They know they have it good (who else gets to play with legos while doing history?) but sometimes they forget what the alternative can be. It is my job to remind them sometimes about what the differences really are.

 

I also would have no problem starting the process of going to that school if I really needed to. Him saying "FINE!" in a heated moment is not quite the same as really saying they would choose to go to school. I would think that going for a visit and talking with the principal or a potential teacher would be enough! :D Going through paperwork might not be such a bad deterent, either. HMMM... I just had an idea of putting together a folder of enrollment paperwork... hmmm....I think I like that idea....

 

I know that if I were alive in the middle ages I would come up with some really good (and by that I mean, wicked) fairy tales to keep my kids in line. :D

 

But seriously, I consider my threats carefully, and never chose something I won't be able to follow up on. You have to be creative in the exact words you use and not use them in haste. I would not take ANYTHING seriously if it is in the "heat of the moment", either from my mouth or those of my kids.

 

The OP was asking what you do to get them to do anything, I first explained what I actually do in the day to day... and then I brought up my whammy. It is not used often, it is used very, very carefully. But it does get used at least 3x per year. I have only ever needed to use it on my younger son once.

 

Different strokes!

 

I also don't HS for religious reasons, so I don't have the same "toolbox" some others might. I don't know if that is good or bad, it just is.

 

But as far as thinking you don't think you should be giving advice... Please do!! Who says any of us should be giving advice!:lol: That's like saying you need a degree or be certified to homeschool your own kids! All opinions, advice, hugs... bring 'em on!

Edited December 28, 2009 by radiobrain
forgot a word that changed the meaning of the sentence

[Julie in MN]

That's like saying you need a degree or be certified to homeschool your own kids!

 

:lol:

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Do share; I'm out of the loop on this one! What is Children's Miracle Music? I could sure use some morning miracles at my house!

www.childrensmiraclemusic.com will explain everything.

 

[MerryAtHope]

Oh, btw, dd4 is actually dd5 now, as today is her birthday. For her cake, she requested a zebra butt. I am not kidding. She is quirky! All the relatives loved it! Aunt Cindy requsted one for her next birthday!:D

 

Lakota

 

That's a hoot!!!

 

Merry :-)

[lakotajm]

I threaten them with going to school and riding the school bus.

 

maybe that is harsh but they shape up immediately. Sometimes they forget how good they have it. ;)

 

I think I have heard others say that and it would have the opposite effect with mine! The older one has always wanted to go back to school-she loved the socializing and did well, so loved "being the smart one".

But she also remembers some of the stupid stuff her last teacher did and is now old enough to appreciate where homeschooling has its benefits. So she will sometimes point those out to the dd6 (who is mad at me because I informed her that she will not be going to what she calls "big-kid school" like her cousins-she assumed she was being homeschooled as a prelude to going to school, now she wants a refund;)).

 

Lakota

[IsabelC]

Only my ds aged 6 has to 'do school' at this stage (dd aged 4 will be starting daily 'school' in the new year). I have found that the easiest way to avert resistance is to create a habit of doing stuff at roughly the same time each day. So ds gets up, dresses, eats breakfast, washes, brushes teeth and does reading, handwriting and math. It's all part of our morning rhythm and we aim to be finished by 9am (this only works if we're up at 6 or not long after; if we get up later, we finish later). That way the basics are out of the way and I can organize our day taking into account how the kids are going. If ds is happy and keen to learn, we might do art, science, history or whatever, it just depends on how we all feel and what else I need/want to get done. But doing the 'three Rs' early in the day means that even if we have a few unproductive days, we're still always making slow and steady progress in those areas. Also, we do this every day of the year, so we don't have Monday-itis to contend with.