joannqn Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) Years ago I managed to get DH to do a sleep study. The results were that there were a couple of minor apnea instances, a couple of restless feet instances, and nothing that needed to be treated. Doctor recommended that DH don't sleep on his back (even though Dr. knew he snores in all sleep positions), don't gain weight (even though Dr. knew he snored even when he was a scrawny 150lbs), and don't drink alcohol before bed (even though he doesn't drink for the most part). Fast forward...we've now been married 12 years and I still can't sleep when he's in the room. For the past 4 1/2 months he's been sleeping with the boys to help my 2 year old transition to his own bed/room. Well, last night DH decided he wanted to sleep in his own bed, and I didn't get to sleep until 5:30am. First, I had a hard time getting baby to sleep...about an hour to an hour and a half (her feet are bugging her, I think so I got up and rubbed hydrocortizone into her feet). I finally got her to sleep about 11:00pm. Then she woke up again about midnight. Then at 1am, DH finally started breathing loudly instead of snoring and I almost got to sleep but baby woke up again. By the time I got her back to sleep, he was snoring again. Then at 2am, he quieted down again and just as I was nodding off, she woke up again. At 3am, I gave up and tried taking her down to the couch but I couldn't get her to sleep on the couch for an hour and a half (she doesn't sleep well anywhere but in bed). I finally got her to sleep at 4:30am when my 2 year old woke up crying. He made it downstairs about 5 seconds before DH did. DH picked him up and held him on the other couch while his cell phone vibrated a few times and he read email/internet on the very bright screen. Disgusted, I grabbed the sleeping baby at 5:00am and took her back upstairs. It took me about half an hour to get her back to sleep. I finally fell asleep sometime after that, and she woke up for the day at 8:30am when DH came in the room to iron is clothes and get dressed. Ugh! We have three bedrooms. DD9 has the small downstairs bedroom to herself. The two boys share the larger bedroom upstairs. DH, baby, and I share the other upstairs bedroom. I'm thinking of moving DD upstairs to share with me and the baby, and buying DH a bed so he can have the downstairs bedroom. I can't think of any other options. Over the years, he's slept random nights on the couch to let me get some rest because I never fall asleep before 1-3am when he's in the room. What would you do? ETA: We have no medical insurance and no extra money so medical fixes are not an option. Edited December 17, 2009 by joannqn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Good ear plugs. Seriously. They work for me...dh periodically snores. Not often, but when he does, in go the plugs. I use the squishy kind that are used at shooting ranges that expand to fill the ear canal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I can't do the ear plugs.....I can't go to sleep if I can hear myself breathing like that...... / Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegGuheert Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) ...I recommend that he try eliminating that. I stopped drinking milk about a year and a half ago as part of a diet and I stopped snoring THAT NIGHT. My snoring was as bad as you describe with your husband and it was a real problem. I've since lost about 45 lbs., but I have avoided milk even since stopping the diet since that is what eliminated the snoring for me. If he doesn't drink milk products, then obviously this will not help in your case. It's a difficult problem. Our blessings are with you to find a solution. ETA: As an added bonus, we now save $60/mo. on milk! (I used to drink a LOT of milk!) Edited December 17, 2009 by RegGuheert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Good ear plugs. Seriously. They work for me...dh periodically snores. Not often, but when he does, in go the plugs. I use the squishy kind that are used at shooting ranges that expand to fill the ear canal. :iagree: I started wearing ear plugs to bed about 2 years ago and it's been *great*. And this includes with a newborn (who's now 20 months) -- you can hear the "wake up" cries that you need to hear, but the little snurgly noises don't keep you awake. Or the big snurgly noises coming from the other side of the bed. :lol: It did take a few weeks to get used to them; someone mentioned hearing themselves breathe, but I haven't been able to hear that with them in. Once in awhile I'll take them out for some reason in the night (while I'm still sleeping), but for the most part, I wake up nice and refreshed in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I finally moved myself into another room. Dh snores so loudly that earplugs do not even help. I would recommend that you move him out if it's that bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Does he snore on his side? Prop a pillow behind him if he doesn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My DH snores like a freight train. It's awful. He uses the breath right strips and they don't really cut it. He also never drinks milk. My husband and I haven't shared a bed for years because of this. He refuses to go see a doctor. I think he needs his adenoids removed (my son's already had his taken out about two years ago and he instantly stopped snoring and having fatigue issues), but... he won't go. Strips, sprays, earplugs - nothing works. Personally, I vote to club him with a tire iron every time he starts to snore, but maybe that wouldn't go over so well ;) :grouphug: Hopefully you guys can work out a resolution together! It's incredibly frustrating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 :bigear: My DH snores like a freight train. It's awful. He uses the breath right strips and they don't really cut it. He also never drinks milk. Breath-right strips wouldn't do anything if someone were snoring because of, say, sleep apnea. Has your dh been tested for that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Ah, ha! I suspect it was Ms. B in the study with the lead pipe...strike that...tire iron in the bedroom. My husband and I haven't shared a bed for years because of this. He refuses to go see a doctor. I think he needs his adenoids removed (my son's already had his taken out about two years ago and he instantly stopped snoring and having fatigue issues), but... he won't go. Strips, sprays, earplugs - nothing works. Personally, I vote to club him with a tire iron every time he starts to snore, but maybe that wouldn't go over so well ;) :grouphug: Hopefully you guys can work out a resolution together! It's incredibly frustrating! Sorry J, but it was too good to pass up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 But eventually I started to get outer ear infections and no longer could wear them. I think that he should probably have another sleep study. The criteria and treatments have progressed a lot. DH has had a CPAP for about a year now, and it is pretty quiet and helps a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Just sleep somewhere else. I'm in the tire iron camp too - it's amazing how violent this issue makes me in the middle of the night. I cannot wear ear plugs. I have a kid who sleep walks, + a sick old cat whom I need to feed q. 3-4 h (it's like having a newborn all over again) - I need to be able to hear the rest of the house. If I can get to sleep ahead of him & IF the kitty feeding happens to take place during one of his quiet times, then I'm ok, with just a few well placed kicks & beating him on the head with a spare pillow which I keep just for that purpose (never throw the pillow, btw, maintain your grip so you can haul it back for repeat TX.) Otherwise, I just bunk with one of the kids. I'm thinking of getting a sofa bed for the living room..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 Well, I talked to him today and he said he was having trouble breathing in our room. I have no idea why because I just did a major clean in there to help my allergies. Plus, he says our bed hurts his back and prefers the floor. So, he's planning on going back to the boy's room floor for now. He thinks losing weight will help, but he forgets that he snored just as bad when he was skinny. I think he needs his adenoids and tonsils removed. His are huge, and his ulna gets so long when he's sick that it touches his tongue. But we have no insurance so it isn't even an option even if he were willing. Oh, well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 My dh only snores when he's really tired, or when his head is up too high. When he's snoring, I try to get him to change positions. When that doesn't work, I sleep on the couch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in WI Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Good ear plugs. Seriously. Ear plugs saved our marriage! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 DH had a TERRIBLE snoring problem!!! After I moved 'out' (we had an extra bedroom at the time) DH went to the Dr. He soon had surgery for a 'deviated septum', his tonsils and adnoids removed (they were HUGE) as well as having his ulna trimmed. He was in SERIOUS PAIN for 3 weeks--total recovery time was nearly 6 weeks. He did not snore for 6 years. This past year he gained about 10-20 pounds--and had more stress at work--he began snoring with a passion. Unfortunately we do not have any extra beds in our house... I recently had back surgery and our couch is too soft for me to sleep on. DH refuses to leave the bed. I can't wear ear plugs (psoriasis in my ears) so I'm left getting 2-4 hours sleep at the most per night-- this has been going on continually for the past 4-6 months and I know my life has been negatively impacted because of it (mostly lack of sleep). DH was out of town much of last week-- it felt so good to SLEEP all night!!! DH says it is 'MY' problem--that I should just go to sleep and forget he is making any LOUD noise (our older girls hear him across the house--and we have a BIG house!). I love my hubby--but I'm seriously thinking of upgrading my 7yo's bed to a queen so we can share! A few weeks ago we were in Hawaii--we stayed at http://www.waterfall.net for a few days (Pagoda house)--besides being beautiful the waterfall was loud--in a relaxing way! I slept great there--even though DH snored--I just got up and opened the window to let the sound in! I've tried white noise and other 'natural' sould tapes--but my mathematical mind finds patterns in the taped sounds and I end up staying awake anticipating the next repeat! I'm off to try to get a jumpstart on sleep--SOMETIMES if I go to bed before DH I will not hear him come in and I can get a bit more sleep --until the cat wakes me up to let him out at 4am (like a clock!)...after that DH snores with passion! Jann--another sleep deprived spouse of a snore-monger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Is he carrying extra weight? Husband used to snore really badly until he lost twenty pounds - he's only 5'6", so twenty pounds was a lot. He still snores, but not nearly so badly. If you didn't have a baby to listen out for I'd suggest ear plugs too. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deanna in TN Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I use a fan to help drown out the noise when we go on trips. At home, he does sleep in another room. Since this doesn't sound possible for you, would it be possible to have 2 separate beds in your room? When we stay in a hotel, I always ask for 2 doubles rather than 1 king. Then I put the fan in between us. Sometimes I have to use earplugs too. Deanna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 LOL, my Dh sleeps on the couch. His snoring is horrible!!!!! He snores no matter what position he sleeps in. He has a CPAP machine for sleeping but he doesn't like using it. He is so bad that I just absolutely will not sleep in the same room with him. I have no problems with me getting up and moving to couch or even sleeping on the floor in a kids room... I have got to get some sleep and I sleep so light at it is. I have to have a white noise to sleep or I will wake up several times a night. But Dh usually is the one on the couch. He likes to sleep with TV on... I can't do that. I think in the last 15 yrs my dh and I have slept in same room a dozen times. Even when we have to get hotel... we get two rooms. Granted this is more because there are at least 6 of us using one room and four in one room is the limit for most hotels-LOL. When we visit relatives... again we get separate rooms. I have tried ear plugs and they don't help much... dh is that bad, he rattles the roof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 JoAnn...Hope you got some sleep.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Wow. What a huge problem this is. My DH is a big time snorer too, and I have a couple of strategies. One is making sure we have a fan on for white noise. The other is that I take 3 Benadryl each night to make me more sleepy. I tend to be an insomniac and will lay there tossing and turning if I don't have some help. It helps me be sleepy enough to fall asleep even if he's snoring. Sorry, Joanne, this idea probably won't help you if you are BFing. I know a lot of people are opposed to the idea of meds, but it's the only thing that has helped! I am going to get some earplugs and try that too. I tried them once and couldn't stand the feel of them and didn't try again. Hope you can find a solution Joanne! Between baby and Dh I am yawning for you!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Ear plugs (I use Spark Plugs) and a fan. But I have to say that my sleeping improved a zillion fold once my husband got his CPAP machine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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