PeterPan Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Remember, it's been a LONG time since I had a little one! When do babies typically start sleeping through the night, if you don't cry it out and you nurse on cue or even wake them up to tank up during the day? How long did you keep your little in your room? Any thoughts on this whole thing? I'm trying to figure out if I want to just buy a regular crib and take the side off, like we did with dd, to do the sidecar thing, or if I want something specific to co-sleeping. Dd didn't sleep through the night till 2 1/2, which I realize now is NOT the norm. (We were under high tension lines and she only started sleeping soundly when we moved to a lower emf location, weird.) I can't imagine not having my baby near me, but that's because my only experience was with her waking often. If the dc were actually sleeping and contented, it might not be such a big deal at some point, maybe? So what do you like your dc to sleep in and where and at what age? Teach the novice here! This baby is going to need a spot! And do you have any wisdom on nursing, schedules, etc? I did totally on-cue, no pacifiers, etc. with dd, which is my intention to pursue again. I've gathered that some women find ways to balance that with gentle nudging toward a schedule, if that makes sense. I'm all for learning a little bit of organization, just not for cry-it-out. (Not to offend those who do it, it just isn't my preference. We all slept well without it and have a peaceful, quiet, happy, obedient home.) Any thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Both my boys were in another room from the beginning, in a moses basket to start off with, then a crib. I had a monitor on, so I could hear when they stirred. I had a strong need for space and was a better mother for having that physical distance. Their sleeping patterns were so different. Calvin slept through the night (fully breast fed) from four weeks old. Hobbes didn't sleep through the night at all until 8 months old, and not regularly until a month or two later. I didn't try to schedule either of them, and Calvin fed every two hours during the day for a long time, but they both feel into more reasonable patterns in the end. Best wishes Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volty Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 My daughter is nearly 10 months old and sleeps in the sidecar crib next to the bed on my wife's side. She fed the baby on a schedule for four weeks, it was my wife waking the baby up to feed. Now she always sleeps through the night. The baby is sooo easy compared to everybody else's stories, so has always slept through the night, no colic, (almost) always happy, easy to stop crying when you figure out what's wrong. I wish everbody had it so good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. H. Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 but all of mine started sleeping through the night around 3-4 months old, and I was bfing on demand, no pacifiers, with the baby sleeping in a crib in our room. I would rock/nurse baby at night, put her to bed (sometimes asleep, sometimes slightly awake), and then put her in the bed with me when she would wake in the middle of the night. Once she started sleeping through the night, I would wake her up and feed her when dh got up at 5:30, then put her back to bed and get up to do my morning stuff. She usually slept until around 8:00. I didn't start baby on a schedule until she was sleeping through the night, and then it was very loose. The only feedings I tried to schedule were at 5:30 in the morning so I could put her back down and get my morning routine and alone time, I wanted her down at the same time as the older kids after lunch (1:00), so I did my best to keep her up and nurse her right before then so all five would be down at once, and then I tried to get her in the bed around 8:30 at night, so I would have time with the older kids until 9:00, when they went to bed. Other than these three events, I sort of went by her schedule of wanting to nurse, play, sit in the sling or bouncy chair, etc. The example given is for my last child, who is now 13 months old and still sleeping in a crib in our room, even though she's not nursing. We will eventually move her to her big sister's room, but it is upstairs and that makes us a little nervous. We will probably move her between 18 months and 2. All my other babies followed a similar routine, but the main thing that is important to me is that no matter how many children I have, they all have to have quiet time at the same time every day, even if that means moving heaven and earth. I need at least an hour where I'm not answering questions, changing diapers, nursing, or breaking up a fight, to keep my sanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Volty, did your wife have a particular book she followed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Mrs. H--If your crib had lower sides, would it still work? I saw an antique baby bed once at a sale where it had low sides. Does your dc wake and need to wait a few minutes, meaning the taller sides are a good idea? Or would shorter sides be good, helpful, preferable? Guess it was only an asthetics thing on my part, that I thought lower sides might look nice side-car. We have a lot of amish around here, so I thought I could probably get something made, if I knew exactly what I wanted. And I also thought it would be handy if the side of the crib unit flipped down to create a bridge between my bed and the crib so I wasn't worried about that. I can't remember exactly, but I think we wedged the crib and bed against a wall and put a blanket in there to span. Any thoughts? Like I said, if I'm buying, they could make anything I want, if I just ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volty Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Volty, did your wife have a particular book she followed? Uh, yeah ... but unless you can read Chinese, it can't help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Laura, I understand what you're saying. I had a friend who was the same way, just couldn't sleep well with her baby in the room and had more peace with some space. I think I'm more the type to feel peaceful if they're close, but that's me. That's really interesting that your ds's started sleeping through at such different ages, even with similar practices. Just goes to show they're different, like you say! Thanks! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Oh Volty, what a hoot! Well my chinese is lacking. No english version? Bummer! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 My last 3 have never slept in a crib. They have all co-slept until they stopped nursing (around 20+ mos or so). I simply put pillows on each side of them on our bed during nap time. Never been a problem. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volty Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Our sidecar crib has four sides, but the one next to the bed is in permanent down mode. We only place her in it at night when it's tucked in against the bed on my wife's side. She's in there now as I type this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 We were happy co-sleepers. Worked for us but I understand some have issues with it. Both dd's slept with us till about 4 years of age. I also nursed them for 4 & 3 1/2 years, so co-sleeping was very handy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Is a sidecar crib not considered co-sleeping anymore? We sidecarred for extra space, because we had a queen-sized bed and my DH is a big guy (and I'm no peanut myself :rolleyes:). I used a sidecarred crib for both babies until they were about two. The first was a dedicated nurser and would have kept night-waking to nurse for years if I hadn't taken alternate measures (a la Jay Gordon). She is still extremely attached to me. The second sucks her thumb and adopted a wooby at 4 months, and started sleeping through the night at 5 months. We kept co-sleeping until she was 2 for convenience and cuddling's sake anyway. She's MUCH more independent overall--the kind of toddler who just things she can do everything herself as soon as she sees someone else do it. In our case, personality has been a huge factor. We never "set" schedules. Instead, we operated on the idea that babies will set their own schedules, which we watched for, and then we used those to arrange the rhythms of our days. That worked for both of our babies. For understanding sleep habits and needs overall (the concept of the "sleep window" revolutionized our world), he book that helped me most was Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. We didn't use his methods at all (I skipped all the anecdotal stories), but the info on sleep research was invaluable. I've heard that Happiest Baby on the Block is good for helping to set a loose, gentle schedule, and The No-Cry Sleep Solution is also recommended often as well. (I read that, but we were already past the point where we could implement a lot of the ideas, so I don't remember much about it.) HTH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 We also co-sleep. It's just where we all sleep best. My oldest was my most difficult child. He cried ALL THE TIME during the day. Nighttime was the only time he wasn't screaming. So, I wanted to hold him and be with him at a time when he wasn't unhappy. KWIM? So, we sorta' fell into it that way. He started sleeping through the night very early - maybe 3 months? He'd wake to nurse once or so, but then fell right back to sleep. Second was easier during the day. Really, a dream child. But, he woke up to play at night! Ugh. But, he, at 2 would tell us when he was tired and would walk up and go to bed! My third was sleeping through the night by 6 weeks. Not even waking to nurse!! All three boys are in their own beds in their own room. Boys one and two left when they were 4 Nd 3. Boy 3 left our bed when he was 6 (well, he had a bed next to our bed starting at about 3). My fourth is 2 and still wakes up at night to nurse. I know it's her way of comfort and she doesn't need it for food. I don't mind. She'll be our last probably and I want her to stay with us for a good long time!!! Whatever works for you is what you should do!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandpsmommy Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 whose children did not sleep through the night until ages 2 and 2.5 years, but here's what we did. With dd, we had a crib ready for her in her room when she was born, but she rarely ever used it. We also had a bassinet in our room, which she used a little bit. Most of the time, she slept with me. At first I was afraid to take her into our bed because of safety issues, so awhile I nursed her to sleep and then lay her down in her crib. She would sleep for a little while, and then I would end up on the couch with her for the rest of the night. I can't remember when exactly I started taking her into our bed when she woke up, but I do know that at one year old she started going to sleep in our bed. We moved to our own house when she was 12 months, and the air conditioner was broken. It was the hottest week of the summer and we had a ceiling fan in our room. So, she slept with us. It worked out so well that we kept her with us even after the new air conditioner was installed. She nursed on demand and wouldn't take a pacifier or a bottle of pumped milk. She was also a marathon nurser. So, we were attached to each other for the first year of life and we used our Boppy pillow so much that it split down the middle! I napped whenever she napped, holding her. She would not sleep in her crib, even for naps. When I became pregnant again, dd was 19 months and still was waking frequently throughout the night and nursing back to sleep. But, magically, without any work or prodding on my part she began sleeping through the night shortly before her 2nd birthday. I continued nursing her periodically during the day until her 3rd birthday. Ds slept was a lot better sleeper than dd, in ways. He slept in his cribs for naps as a newborn and for a few hours at nightime. He was addicted to a pacifier, though. He started sleeping in our bed when it was just easier to bring him in because he was waking so frequently and not staying asleep in his crib after nursing. He did not sleep through the night until he was almost 2.5 yos and I stopped nursing him. I became convinced that he wouldn't sleep through the night until we stopped nursing. And I was right. After he was weaned, he slept through the night. We continue to lie down with them to get them to sleep, even at ages 6 and 4. It's just our family style. And we still have a family bed where anyone is welcome to come in in the middle of the night. And we often just all go to sleep together in our big king-sized bed. It used to frustrate me for a while, but now I love it. I'm sure someday they will outgrow this and we will miss it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volty Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 We want a second baby and my wife is depressed about some day exiling this baby into her grandma's room to make room for #2 in here. (My in-laws live with us, no I don't mind we all get along great). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PariSarah Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Since then, he has slept in a crib in Isaac's room. He was not as easy to get on a routine or to sleep as Isaac was. We do an eat-play-sleep routine as recommended by someone whose name I won't mention on these boards (rhymes with blezzo). But unlike Isaac, who took to the routine almost as soon as he was born, Theo just couldn't sleep well. It took three or four months of incremental changes before he could sleep reliably. It was worth it, though. There was one point where I thought, "Well, maybe this routine thing just isn't for him. Maybe I should do the nurse-to-sleep, let-him-do-what-he-wants thing." Well, that was a HUGE disaster. It was still work to get him on the routine, but he (and we) did much better that way. I wrote a long post to Amy loves Bud on how we did it here. We started that whole process at about three months--he had slept all the way through a couple times, but not consistently, and our doctor said that that indicated that he could go without nursing for that length of time. Isaac. Now, Isaac was a breeze. Three-to-four-hour eat-play-sleep routine from the day we got home from the hospital. Sleeping through the night at a month. Him we had in a bassinet in our room for a month; then the bassinet was in the room next door for a month. After that, crib in the other room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I'm not alot of help, but here's what happened for us. Both fo our dds came home from their orphanages at about 12mos old. THey slept through the night in a crib in the hotel room. We sort of felt that was a gift, so we brought them home and put them in a baby bed in the nursery. They slept through the night. 12 hours. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Our dd slept with us - nursing as needed - until she was two or so, when she transitioned to a regular twin bed in her room. My dw was able to sleep through nursing. We always felt like we had to clam up when other parents talked about being sleep deprived, because we never were. I know that this wouldn't work for every family, but it was great for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy loves Bud Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Mine slept with us through the night for about two or three months. Then they moved into the crib in their own room. Luke and Peyton were sleeping through the night by then and I didn't usually have to get up at that point. Romy is now 8 months and in her own room, but I typically get up once to nurse her, and then bring her in bed with us at about 5:30 or 6. We have a bedside cosleeper (did with all three). Peyton was really the only one who slept in it much, but it does keep me from falling off the bed when I'm on the hairy edge! Plus, the cosleeper becomes a pack-n-play which we use a ton for travel and for visiting babies, so it's worth it to us. I'm also nurse on demand, no pacifier. I actually tried to get Romy to use a pacifier because she's such a bad sleeper, but she would never take it. Now that we're getting past that point I'm glad of it, but at the time it sure would have been nice! While I'm not a big scheduler, I do try to pay attention to the baby's natural rhythm, and it does seem to emerge after about 3 months into a somewhat recognizable schedule. A schedule that changes frequently due to illness, teething, adding solids, growth spurts, but a schedule nonetheless! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 My first dd I nursed on demand, but I did put her in her crib for naps and and at an Official Bedtime around 7 p.m. When she woke in the night, I took her to bed with me, nursed her, and put her back in her bed (which was in my room until she was about 6 mos. old). She quit nursing at 10 months (yes, I encouraged her by feeding her three meals a day beginning at 6 mos. I regret that now:(). She was sleeping through the night at 7 mos., with a 2hr nap during the day. Those first few months I was exhausted, too.:( I was a little older and wiser with my second dd. I still put her to bed at naptime, even if she didn't seem sleepy, because *I* needed the break (she took that 2hr nap until she was 4yo). Until she was about 8 mos old, I got her ready for bed around 8 or 9, including double-diapering her (no disposables) and took a shower; any time after that when she wanted to nurse, we just went to bed and she slept with me all night. I can't even tell you how frequently she nursed. And I was *very* rested :-) When she was about 10 mos old, I started putting her to bed (which was in another room) around 9, whether she had nursed or not. By then she was eating solids at dinner and drinking water out of a cup. If she woke during the night, I took her into bed with me and nursed and we both went back to sleep. When she was about a year old, I started waiting a few minutes when she first woke up to go get her, just to see if she'd go back to sleep, KWIM? Sure enough, turns out she didn't really *need* to nurse, and she'd go back to sleep. She was sleeping through the night, 8ish to 7:30-8ish, with a 2hr nap during the day. It was all painless, no scheduling, no crying baby, rested mommy :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThelmaLou Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 My babies slept in a bedside co-sleeper in my room for the first 2-3 months. After that they move into a different room. We're tight on space right now, so my youngest (now 18 months) moved in with ds #3 and #4 at about 3 months old. He's still in a portable crib because we just don't have enough space for our full size crib. I'm a big scheduler. It just fits my personality, and I find my babies seem happier when we have a well-defined routine. They all slept through the night (at least 8 hours) by about 6 weeks. Not long after they slept 12 hours. I used scheduling principles found in the book mentioned earlier. It just suits my personality. I was demand feeding for the first two months, and it was *not* a good fit for me. When my doctor suggested I try a more scheduled approach, I was thrilled. My mom, an RN and lactation consultant, wasn't so hot on the idea. But now that she's seen me through 5 happy babies who nurse beautifully and sleep through the night very early, she's not so suspicious of the whole thing. She sees that it works for my lifestyle. I nursed each of my boys for 10, 7, 12, 7, and 16 months respecitvely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay in Cal Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 The first was just in our bed until he was about 10 months, then was sleeping mostly through the night and moved to a crib for the most part. He is a very sound sleeper. The second time we had a sidecar co-sleeper... he was there until about 18 months old, then we moved him to a room with his brother. He would wake in the middle of the night and then come in and nurse. He is 4, and still comes into our bed every night at about 2 or 3 am and spends the rest of the night with us, though we weaned at 21 months. He's a light sleeper, and just wants to cuddle.:) I loved co-sleeping because I could just roll over, grab the baby, pull them in, and go to sleep with them latched on. I didn't have to wake up, sit up, move or otherwise disturb my own sleep. When we did move to a crib, it was much harder to get up and answer thier cries rather than just roll and hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Here's what I've done in the past, and what my plans are for this one coming soon. With my oldest, she was in her own room from the start. I was so young and not completely comfortable with nursing, and definitely not comfortable with co-sleeping. She ended up being bottle fed because I didn't produce enough to fill her (which now, I'm wondering if it was because of my embarrassment/being immature and ill-informed, therefore not nursing enough to keep up the supply?). She ended up sleeping through at 8 weeks (and that was like 10 hours off the bat, sleeping through). With my ds, my 2nd born, he also had his own room from the get-go. However, I had a cradle that I put him in next to my bed at the start. I was much more comfortable with nursing and would end up co-sleeping and nursing him in bed with me (he was an excellent nurser from the get-go), and not using the cradle hardly at all. However, for daytime naps, I put him in his crib in his own room so he would be used to that. He started sleeping through at 5-6 weeks. He also ended up being bottle fed after 3 months because for some reason, which I still have no idea about, I lost supply on one side and my body would only allow the only working bre*st to go for 3 months before it too, dried up. It was odd. Here's the plan so far with this one, due in just shy of 10 weeks (can you tell I'm counting down?). We have the crib set up in our room. He will not have his own room. I also have a moses basket this time and have not bothered at all with the cradle. I have been reading a lot about breastfeeding because I'm determined that it work for at least 6 months this time. I'm really hoping for a year, but past experience is just...odd and I don't know what to make of it or what changes to make to ensure a year will work (except lots of prayer, which can't be underestimated). Anyway, I plan on co-sleeping with this little guy at first, but still having naps be in the crib, or in the moses basket. It's important to me that he is used to and therefore comfortable with, his crib. After so many weeks, I really need my personal space. I can be with him non-stop for the first few, but then I'm gonna be irritable and crabby if it continues that way too long. Once he's sleeping through the night regularly, we plan on moving his crib into ds's room and they will share a room. In terms of crying it out, I'm not a big fan of that either. However, I am more relaxed now than I was, and quite frankly, having two other kids to occupy my time too, crying it out is gonna inevitably happen. However, when it's in my control, I definitely find that giving comfort is much more productive. And we too, are a happy, content family and both my dc slept through long hours quite early. In terms of getting on a schedule, that is very important to me. It's quite possible that this has messed up my nursing ability as well, though so far I haven't read anything that states that definitively. Because I need some personal space, I do not like nursing/bottle feeding any more frequently than every 3 hours. Now, I will at the very, very beginning. But after 4-6 weeks, I just don't see where the baby simply must be fed every 2 hours. So dh and I have gone to great lengths with the other two to "hold them off". Lots of cuddling, lots of rocking, lots of talking to and generally trying to distract in whatever way we can until at least the 3 hours is up. For the most part, this wasn't a big deal. Some days there was just nothing we could do to "hold them off", so I would feed, assuming it was a growth spurt. But usually, it worked fine and was the best thing we ever did to get them on a routine quickly. I definitely set the routine, and I most likely will with this one too, simply because he will have 2 older siblings and having 4 of us bow to his schedule just isn't quite as likely as his one little person bowing to the 4 of ours, kwim? However, I'm old enough now to know that "his little person" can be quite powerful and demanding and before we know it, he's completely in charge, and all my "plans" have gone to pot, LOL! As you know, these "plans" can change at any moment, and I don't want you thing for a second that anything in my post is in judgement of you. It's just how we have done things and how we're hoping to again this time around. I have no issue with how you did things before, or want to again this time. Just answering your questions on my experience. Every baby is so different from the other. My ds was so much more independent and laid back (to a worrisome level at first, in fact) than my dd ever was/is. Who knows what this little guy will be like. Dd couldn't learn to latch on for anything, while ds latched on perfectly in the hospital. I'm excited though to find out who this little guy is! When are you due? I'm excited for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 After reading a couple of other responses you received, I just wanted to add a couple of things in agreement. As PariSarah stated, we also, with both of our kids, did the eat/play/sleep thing. Except when a newborn (the first 4 weeks or so), "play" before sleep was a little more difficult and I wasn't a stickler on it. But after that, it was important to me that they not "learn" to fall asleep after a feeding. Also, another thing we did from the start (I think Ellie mentioned too) was we had a set routine for bedtime and never strayed from it. It was always a bath, then a feeding, then at least one story. Even as a newborn. This really helped with getting them to bed at night. Naps were usually routined in some fashion too. Lunch (feeding), changing of the diaper, closing of the blinds, lay down in crib. From the beginning. It worked so beautifully with my other 2, I hope it works for this one too. The good Lord is getting a lot of prayers from me where this little one is concerned, LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 My ds slept better in a crib. He didn't like to be swaddled. He slept 8 hour stretches starting when he was about two weeks old. - funny thing is that he is claustrophobic. I wonder if he always was and if it is a by product of being two weeks late, really long, and had the cord around his neck. Anyway.... My first dd slept with me until she started sleeping 6 hour stretches. that was about 4 weeks old. I just couldn't get up and get her to nurse without waking myself up. She slept in a portable crib in my room for about 4 months. St that point she slept for 10-12 hours. It worried me that she slept so long without nursing, but I NEVER wake a sleeping baby. My first two did nothing to prepare me for my youngest. She never slept more than two hours. She was fussy. She cried a lot. Turns out she is allergic to dairy and when I drank milk, it hurt her stomach. At around 4 months, with the help of our doc, I got the milk straightened out, but she never slept. At two she started sleeping for 4 hours at a time, so I moved her to her own little toddler bed. At three, she still sleeps less than either of her siblings. SO the answer is, I keep them close while they are nursing a lot and I put then in their beds when they start to sleep at least 4-6 hours. Kelly Mom has lots of good information. It was my lifesaver with my youngest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jami Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Janna, I'll tiptoe in here and say that yes, the scheduling may be the reason you struggle with supply at 3-4 months. The people I know who've done more strict scheduling (ala "blezzo" ;)) tend to have babies sleeping long stretches around 6-8 weeks, and nursing stretches out to 3 hour cycles. Which all seems very nice, but it seems that around 6 weeks is when *your* body needs to be told to begin making more to prepare for the 3-4 month growing spurts. And once you're nursing less, especially at night, then supply begins to drop off. And then around 3 months, it's no longer sufficient UNLESS you're willing to go back to more frequent nursings for awhile to build that supply back up. Again, I've seen several friends have supply issues around 3-4 months and then start supplementing cause the babies were frustrated, which then your body isn't told to make more, cause the supplement is filling the gap. Maybe others will back me up here. Maybe I'll get yelled at. :) I'm sort of a scheduler on demand or a cue-feeding scheduler myself. ;) I appreciate routine and rhythm and sleeping more at night as much as the next gal, but if nursing long-term is your goal, then *you* may need more frequent nursings or more night nursings. There are bodies of course that seem to make enough milk for triplets on a 4 hour nursing schedule, but if you're not one of them and you've already struggled with supply. I'd maybe look for a more flexible routine, *if* not supplementing is important to you. :) Jami (who can't wait to nurse and co-sleep again at some point in the hopefully not-too-distant future) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Janna, I'll tiptoe in here and say that yes, the scheduling may be the reason you struggle with supply at 3-4 months. The people I know who've done more strict scheduling (ala "blezzo" ;)) tend to have babies sleeping long stretches around 6-8 weeks, and nursing stretches out to 3 hour cycles. Which all seems very nice, but it seems that around 6 weeks is when *your* body needs to be told to begin making more to prepare for the 3-4 month growing spurts. And once you're nursing less, especially at night, then supply begins to drop off. And then around 3 months, it's no longer sufficient UNLESS you're willing to go back to more frequent nursings for awhile to build that supply back up. Again, I've seen several friends have supply issues around 3-4 months and then start supplementing cause the babies were frustrated, which then your body isn't told to make more, cause the supplement is filling the gap. Maybe others will back me up here. Maybe I'll get yelled at. :) I'm sort of a scheduler on demand or a cue-feeding scheduler myself. ;) I appreciate routine and rhythm and sleeping more at night as much as the next gal, but if nursing long-term is your goal, then *you* may need more frequent nursings or more night nursings. There are bodies of course that seem to make enough milk for triplets on a 4 hour nursing schedule, but if you're not one of them and you've already struggled with supply. I'd maybe look for a more flexible routine, *if* not supplementing is important to you. :) Jami (who can't wait to nurse and co-sleep again at some point in the hopefully not-too-distant future) Good information, Jami. 6-7 weeks is a hump for many moms, and is a time of increased demand for a big growth spurt. Stricter scheduling and holding off for feedings can definitely affect your supply in the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Mine slept where and how they WOULD sleep! LOL! All of ours slept with us from the beginning. When the oldest was born we rented a mobile home. It was a very safe area, but her room was right next to the front door. I did not feel good about leaving her there, so she slept with us. It worked so well with nursing that we started all that way. I did prop them in between those triangle things until they were not newborns anymore. Dh even made a comment about not bothering to set up the crib with the youngest since we probably wouldn't use it anyway.:D Mine also slept on their tummys. My mom said that was the way she was told to put me as a baby and my oldest had projectile vomiting from an immature stomach. If she had slept on her back she might have choked to death....so she was a tummy sleeper. The rest would not sleep unless they were on their tummys. Believe me having a sleeping baby is better than a screaming one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 No need to tiptoe, Jami! By all means, barge through the door and stomp! :) Seriously, I can use all the info/advice I can get. If you (or anyone else) are able to see things based on what I wrote that trigger a possible reason why supply has been so difficult for me, by all means, shout it out to me. I won't be troubled or offended in the least. I can use all the help and advice in this arena I can get. I'm currently reading "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" from the Le Leche League and hoping to gain some insight. Cost alone is enough motivation to do what it takes to nurse for a year, though that of course is not the only reason (as we all know). So anyway, thanks for the advice. I will absolutely keep it in mind. And please feel free to offer up more. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThelmaLou Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Regarding milk supply, I struggled with my first 4 babies. Once I dropped below 5 feedings a day, my milk almost completely dried up. My mom, the lactation consultant, initially said it must have to do with my schedule. Not so, we found out. Even when my babies were sleeping through the night, I would get up in the middle of the night and pump. I would also pump after and between feedings during the day. A lot. A whooooole lot. It was to almost no avail. I took fenugreek, which helped some. Loads of fenugreek. 8 capsules 3 times daily. I took special teas and other supplements. I drank boatloads of water. Nada. I went through this torturous routine with my first 4 babies. My mom, who has counseled hundreds of moms during her career, finally concluded that I'm one of those rare people that truly does have low milk supply no matter what I do. She often finds in other cases that the moms are going about things completely wrong, and she says that usually accounts for the problems. But not mine, she concluded. Then I discovered a miracle drug. My mom had told me about it with ds#4, but at the time it was only available in Canada. It's called domperidone. It is most commonly prescribed for folks with stomach ailments, but it has the happy side effect of increasing milk supply. I took it for about a year with my last baby. And I was able to nurse for 16 months, the longest I've ever made it. I could have continued, but decided I was ready to wean. I experienced absolutely no side effects on this medication. Even when I was only nursing 1-2 times a day my supply was abundant. I'm sure there are those who don't like the idea of taking an Rx for milk supply. I fully understand. The other alternative was giving up nursing. So for me, the question was, which is healthier: going to formula or nursing while on a prescription. I chose the latter. Also, I had to tell my doctor exacly what I wanted. And the prescription had to be filled at a special compounding pharmacy. Here are some links with some great info. on domperidone. Just FYI, I was not one who was able to jump-start my supply with the medication and then stop. Some women find this works for them. My milk dropped when I stopped taking it, so I continued for the duration of my nursing. I took 30 mg 3x daily. http://www.drjacknewman.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=85&Itemid=115 http://www.drjacknewman.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=86&Itemid=116 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Janna, if you want info on the medication ThelmaLou mentioned, I'd encourage you to talk with your local La Leche League leader. They cannot tell you what to take, but they have a research heirarchy that can get you info from medical books on effects, research on it, etc. so you can make your informed decision. It's definitely something they'll have heard of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 My last few babies have slept with us and my baby is 3 and still sleeps with us most nights. He starts off in his bed, but by morning I find him in mine. I nursed all my babies on demand and never tried to get them on a schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill- OK Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 ...babies sleep in our room until they sleep through the night. More because *I* get better sleep when I don't have to go too far, lol. I've done travel bed next to ours, regular crib in our room, straight-up co-sleeping, and transferring to a twin mattress on the floor next to us (our box springs and mattress was on the floor also). Whatever works. :-) (You can also count me in the 'gently edge them towards a schedule' group. Best of both worlds! Cue feeding, just stretching those times gently.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill- OK Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 ...babies sleep in our room until they sleep through the night. More because *I* get better sleep when I don't have to go too far, lol. I've done travel bed next to ours, regular crib in our room, straight-up co-sleeping, and transferring to a twin mattress on the floor next to us (our box springs and mattress was on the floor also). Whatever works. :-) (You can also count me in the 'gently edge them towards a schedule' group. Best of both worlds! Cue feeding, just stretching those times gently.) (Edited to add: I've also done crib in another room, lol. Whatever works for you, and this individual baby.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 He was just so easy! Beware the first-time parent with all the answers! The second child may well come along and disprove them all! Best wishes Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I had one child who could *only* sleep while touching another person for the first year of his life -- and another who came out with her very own minute-hand and who preferred to be left alone in her own crib at precisely 7pm every night. *I* didn't do much different with them (and cared for them pretty much as you said in the OP, Elizabeth), but *they* were very different from the beginning. In retrospect, I think that some of ds' need to be held / touched for so long was because of medical issues we didn't identify till later. We did *try* to let him "cry it out" early on, because we thought that's what we were supposed to do. But he was one of those babies who really could cry for hours (till he threw up, and then some), and it felt terribly wrong to us. I'm glad we didn't try it for more than a few (miserable for all) nights. ... Dd, on the other hand, came out with a clockwork schedule, especially when it came to bedtime. Not only did she not want to co-sleep (we had given away ds' crib between kids because it was so obvious he didn't want anything to do with it), but she preferred to be on the other side of the room except when she was actively nursing. We moved ds to his own toddler bed when he was approaching 2yo (first in our room next to our bed, then across the room, then in his own room). I night-weaned him at around 21 months, when I got pregnant with dd. Dd slept in her own crib from 3 months, and we moved the crib to ds' room when she was about 10 months old. She still occasionally woke to nurse at night, but usually only during growth spurts or teething bouts. I guess I'm just trying to say -- even if you have a plan in mind, it's okay to adjust when your baby arrives. I had one Sears-type baby, and one who would have been more than content on an Ezzo-type schedule. Neither one would have functioned well with parents who insisted on the opposite extreme. (Though I truly think if we had tried to Ezzo the Sears-baby, he would have ended up in hospital -- if we had done the opposite with the other baby, she would merely have been cranky.) ETA: Wanted to add that we, the parents, were really content with both situations once we settled in. We were happy when ds was co-sleeping, and we were happy with dd in her crib across the room or across the hall. It was really just a matter of finding what worked with each baby at the time. As long as everybody was sleeping most of the time when we needed to, we were all happier. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jami Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Glad you're open to some suggestions, Janna. I love a good routine myself and once my babies seemed to have a natural schedule (around 3 months) I did everything I could to protect that. http://lactinv.com/maintaining_your_milk_supply.htm There's one article about milk supply that might be helpful for you. You may just have to decide what's more important to you, longer spans between nursing and earlier sleeping through the night, or being able to nurse wihtout supplimentation for longer. I don't know if pumping would help in your case, one of my friends tried to improve her supply without giving up her Ezzo-schedule by pumping between nursings. But she didn't have a great deal of luck with that, and she was still *attached* to something more frequently than every 3-4 hours! I never understood why it wasn't better to nurse in that case. *shrug* I would *gently* encourage you not to think of your baby as trying to "control" you or "manipulate" you with HIS schedule. Everyone in a family has to surrender things for the sake of one another and it's good for your older children to learn that caring for the weakest, most dependent, even at the expense of their schedules, is a wonderful thing. Jami Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 11, 2008 Author Share Posted March 11, 2008 Wow Abbeyej, that's a pretty dramatic story! And your experience with your first is what I saw with my dd. In retrospect she had some hypoglycemia issues going on, and she DID nurse a lot. I held her constantly, and even now at almost 9 she comes down to be rocked before she goes to sleep. It's just very calming and important to her. I took flack from well-meaning people saying I'd regret it, blah blah, and I couldn't fathom how I'd regret responding to what were obviously physical needs, not just some mysterious form of selfishness. (communication vs. manipulation) But because I know that wasn't totally the norm, it has struck me that this new dc could be totally different. I really appreciated hearing your contrasting stories and the comment that both ways you were happy, as long as everyone was getting good sleep. I was afraid I wouldn't be happy about the experience if it went a different way, that I'd mess something up, turn out a less affectionate child, whatever. Like most things, it will turn out ok, hehe... Well thanks everybody! I've been amazed by your stories and they've helped me sort through some things in my own soul about what my expectations are. Thanks!!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 and every one of them was different. My oldest nursed until 12 months old and slept through the night starting at about 6 months. He was a preemie. He stayed in my bed until he was 4yo though I tried all the crying it out and such when he was little because everyone made me feel bad about having him in my bed though I loved it. Ds #2 nursed until 14 months and co-slept until 2yo when he demanded his own bed and that was that. I never tried to make him sleep in a crib and he only used it for naps. He was a bigger baby and slept through the night at 3 months. Dd (#3) was also a preemie. She slept through the night (5 hours for her was all I got for a "night") at about 4 months and still woke for early morning feedings around 4am until she stopped nursing at 16 months. She is 5 and still in my bed. LOL I have a big king-size bed and put a bed rail on my side of the bed so the kids didn't fall out. I never even owned a crib for the last one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamagistra Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Then I discovered a miracle drug. My mom had told me about it with ds#4, but at the time it was only available in Canada. It's called domperidone. LOL *snort* I so want to read that as "Dom Perignon!" :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamagistra Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Another co-sleeping on-demand feeder here. This has always worked best for my butterbabies. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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