My two youngest insist on sleeping together

[HeatherLynn]

We co-slept with both of them until about age 3.5. Well, they had their own bed where they slept occasionally, but mostly with us. DD is 11 and will still sleep with us anytime we open up the offer (which is not often). A few weeks ago when the cats first had their kittens (up in DD room) we let her sleep with the little one (age 3.5) so the cats wouldn't keep her awake. Well, now they are really attached to sleeping in the same bed and DD even asked if she could move into his room. She says she doesn't have nightmares when she sleeps with him, and they both seem more content. My MIL said it is "not right" and I need to put a stop to them sharing a bed immediately.

 

So, in your opinion, is this an issue?

[Veritaserum]

Eh, you're the mom. If you think it's fine, then it is. :) My kids will have "sleepovers" with each other and sometimes share beds. Now, all of mine are girls, but if you don't get any weird vibes about the arrangement with your son and daughter, then I think it's ok.

[fivetails]

Nah, I don't see anything "not right" with it. They're siblings, for heaven's sake, and he's just a little fella anyway - ha, from what mine were like at 3.5, I'm amazed she isn't complaining about getting a foot in her ear. ;)

 

It may be more novelty than anything else and she'll want her room back soon enough - but if not, and you'd like them to have their own beds, how about bunkbeds or a cot? :)

[Renee in NC]

Not an issue. My brother and I shared a room (about the same age range) for a large part of our childhood and we are fairly normal people!;)

 

My dc have a whole range of sleeping arrangements. Right now, my 6yo, 5yo, and 2yo are in my bed, the 11yo and 8yo are in another bed together, and the baby is in his own bed (he HATES to sleep with me!)

[HeatherLynn]

She is a nurturer and a cuddler just like me. She has a "mothering" personality and has been a huge part of raising him (like changing diapers, taking him potty, feeding him, bathing him, etc.). Not that she does these things on a regular basis, but she usually almost always part of it. She cannot STAND for him to cry about something. It seems like it is meeting a need for both of them to be close to someone while they sleep, and I get no weird vibes from it.

 

I figure this will pass soon enough and I'll miss this age and this time.

[Renee in NC]

I think it is fine! The greatest treat at my house is to be able to sleep with the 16yo - usually it's the 3yo in with him. In the winter our house would get down to high 40s, low 50s and all the dc would pile in the livingroom floor so they could be warm!

[eternalknot]

I see nothing wrong with it, but then again my kids still let me sleep with them in the big bed ;) my son is 8, my daughter is 3.

 

I grew up in a large family, and usually shared a bed or room with one sibling or another. Even brothers. I don't have any unusual issues that arose from that. I don't think LOL. This is normal for my culture, but was/is still quite unusual from my MIL's perspective. She isn't a fan of the arrangement ::shrug:: they sleep separately (beds and rooms) when they visit her, and all are fine with that.

 

Do your thing, don't worry about what your MIL (or the WTM) has to say - go with your gut. You know your kids better than anyone, and will do what YOU feel is in their best collective interests.

[Sophia]

Not an issue for us.

My 4 and 3 y.o.'s will regularly climb in bed with their older sisters.

They'll get tired of it when they get tired of it.

[HeatherLynn]

Yeah, I kinda figure 50 years ago this would have been expected and not something to make a stink about. Sometimes I feel I was born in the wrong era.

[charmama4]

My dear sweet grandmother stuck up for me when the co-sleeping issue was addressed in my extended family. Her exact words, "Where people get the most restful sleep is where they should sleep. If it's the floor, sleep on the floor, if it's all 5 kids in one bed with mom and dad is on the couch, that's where they should sleep" I loved my grandmother when she said that and after that no one questioned me about my childrens sleeping arrangements. And we all (6 of us) sleep well thankyou very much.;)

[eclecticmom]

The grandmother quote is too precious! My daughter (7) and son (8) were raised almost like twins. I've tried to get them apart but they just have a better night sleep when they're both in the same room together.

 

My mom remembered an old song that was written just for co-sleepers!

Sleepin' at the Foot of the Bed

 

 

Sleepin' at the Foot of the Bed(Little Jimmy Dickens, Wilson - L. Patrick)

Did you ever sleep at the foot of the bed

When the weather was a-whizzin' cold?

When the wind was whistlin' around the house,

And the moon was "yeller" as gold?

You give your good warm mattress up

To Aunt Lizzie and Uncle Fred

Too many kinfolks on a bad night

So you went to the foot of the bed.

 

I could always wait til the old folks "et"

And eat the leavin's with grace

The teacher could keep me after school

I'd still have a smile on my face

I could wear the big boys' wornout clothes

And let sister have my sled

But it always did get my nanny-goat

To sleep at the foot of the bed.

 

Was fine enough when the kinfolks come

And the kids brought brand new games

You see how fat all the old folks wuz

And learn all the babies' names

Had biscuits and custard and chicken pie

We all got Sunday fed

But I knowed durn well when my time come

I would head for the foot of the bed.

 

They say some folks don't know what it is

Havin' comp'ny all over the place

To wrap up a cover on a winter night

With a big foot settin' in your face

Or cold toenails a-scratchin' your back

And the foot-board scrubbin' your head

I'll tell the world you ain't lost a thing

Never sleepin' at the foot of the bed.

 

I've done it over and over again

In this land of the brave and the free

And in this "all fired" battle of life

It's left its' mark on me

For I'm always a-strugglin' at the foot

Instead of forgin' ahead

And I don't think it's caused by a doggone thing

But sleepin' at the foot of the bed.

 

Pleasant dreams to you tonight!

Edited May 14, 2009 by eclecticmom

[StephanieF]

if we let them mine-12, 10 and 6 would all sleep together in my bed! We've kicked the 12 yr old out because there isn't room but the 10 and 6 yr old sleep together. They are all boys.

I love it and shows that they are close, I wouldn't stop it, let them decide when they've had enough

Stephanie

[budeb]

Sounds like a good arrangement to me. Your mama instincts are what you should listen too though. If it seems OK with you... I would just leave them.

[WyoSylvia]

Yeah, I kinda figure 50 years ago this would have been expected and not something to make a stink about. Sometimes I feel I was born in the wrong era.

 

:iagree:

 

We co-sleep and so did my sister's family. I think it just makes kids into cuddly sleepers who prefer the presence of someone while they sleep. My nephews are 16 and 13, fabulous boys, and they still sleep with her whenever they feel like it.

 

Your daughter sounds wonderful. I think it sounds like a great plan, they won't get to do this when they're adults.

[Julie of KY]

I think it is fine. My ten year old always finds someone to curl up in bed with - usually his brother, but he'll take anyone.

[MamaT]

I think it is sweet that they want to sleep together. When we adopted our first daughter, the only question the social worker had for us after we had been "interrogated" for what seemed like forever, is why all three of my boys slept in one bed.:001_smile:

 

They all had their own rooms at that time, but would all end up in one bed. My two youngest will still crawl into bed with their oldest brother if they wake during the night. I think it is wonderful that my dc are that close. Whenever my 2nd son gets to come home, they ALL sleep with him or on the floor around him.

 

Don't worry about what anyone else says, you know what is right for your own children.

[Karen sn]

Children have been sleeping together for thousands of years.

It is only this modern perverted culture that sexualizes everything (cars, chicken wings, fast food even) and allows everyone to think that everything is sexual.

 

Good grief, your youngest is a toddler, who cares if your 11 year old dd sleeps with him?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? If other people find it "not right" - you have to wonder what is going on in their minds and why!

[Karen sn]

My dear sweet grandmother stuck up for me when the co-sleeping issue was addressed in my extended family. Her exact words, "Where people get the most restful sleep is where they should sleep. If it's the floor, sleep on the floor, if it's all 5 kids in one bed with mom and dad is on the couch, that's where they should sleep" I loved my grandmother when she said that and after that no one questioned me about my childrens sleeping arrangements. And we all (6 of us) sleep well thankyou very much.;)

 

Go Grandma!

[runamuk]

My dear sweet grandmother stuck up for me when the co-sleeping issue was addressed in my extended family. Her exact words, "Where people get the most restful sleep is where they should sleep. If it's the floor, sleep on the floor, if it's all 5 kids in one bed with mom and dad is on the couch, that's where they should sleep" I loved my grandmother when she said that and after that no one questioned me about my childrens sleeping arrangements. And we all (6 of us) sleep well thankyou very much.;)

 

I love this!

 

My two youngest (DD9 and DS5) are cuddlers and best friends, and I often find one in the other's bed in the morning. We're moving this summer and they want to share a room. I have no problem with it as long as they're both comfortable. I've gotten more than a few raised eyebrows from friends and family, though, and a lecture from my mother about "encouraging this sort of thing".

 

HeatherLynn, as long as it's something they both want, I think they should sleep where ever they want.

[charmama4]

The grandmother quote is too precious! My daughter (7) and son (8) were raised almost like twins. I've tried to get them apart but they just have a better night sleep when they're both in the same room together.

 

My mom remembered an old song that was written just for co-sleepers!

Sleepin' at the Foot of the Bed

 

Pleasant dreams to you tonight!

 

Great song, goes great with all the extended nursing story books I've read to my kids!!

 

Children have been sleeping together for thousands of years.

It is only this modern perverted culture that sexualizes everything (cars, chicken wings, fast food even) and allows everyone to think that everything is sexual.

 

Good grief, your youngest is a toddler, who cares if your 11 year old dd sleeps with him?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? If other people find it "not right" - you have to wonder what is going on in their minds and why!

 

I soo agree with this.

 

My grandmother grew up in the Depression and it was more of neccessity to co-sleep than a comfort issue. Being able to afford only one bed for the family and for the warmth factor. She did say that she misses her *full* bed and remembers fondly waking up to an occasional foot in her face!!!!

 

Listen to your instincts, they are never wrong. This will be one of those comforting memories they will never forget, morning breath and all!!!!!

[LibraryLover]

My dh was not born in the US, so different culture, and is 16 yrs younger than his sister. From the time he was an older baby and until he moved to the US with his parents (his older sibs stayed) he slept with her. (Near about age 6) That's just how they did it. ;) He and his older brother (by 4 yrs) shared a bed...not just a room...until the older brother went away to college. They are really very (mostly lol) 'normal' people.

[ChristusG]

Dont let anyone tell you that co-sleeping is "strange." You do whatever works for your family. I co-sleep with our two daughters in one bed (ages 2 and 5), while hubby sleeps in the other bedroom. That's what works for our family at this place in time. They are only little for a while. Besides, hubby snores LOL!

 

It is completely okay for your kiddos to sleep together at night.

[Mommy22alyns]

It's sweet, IMO. Both girls are snugglers and while they can't sleep in the same room (because they'd just start playing), they love to co-sleep with anyone who's willing.

[lauracolumbus]

I regret not letting ds and dd sleep together when they were younger. I never got any rest and I would have if I hadn't gotten weird about it. As someone mentioned ppl have been co-sleeping forever. Now my two dds love sleeping together despite having their own rooms, so we completely rearranged everything, bought a whole new bedroom set for them to share, painted, etc, and dd9 decided she wanted to sleep alone in the new 'guest' room! Good grief.

 

Laura

[skaterbabs]

DD (5 1/2) still cosleeps with DH & me. We have the only society on Earth in which adults are expected to share their bed, but children are not allowed to do so, despite the fact that in an earlier age children who slept alone tended to die young.

[LaxMom]

DD (5 1/2) still cosleeps with DH & me. We have the only society on Earth in which adults are expected to share their bed, but children are not allowed to do so, despite the fact that in an earlier age children who slept alone tended to die young.

 

Indeed.

 

My youngest three share a room (dd8, ds4.5, ds4.5), and the boys share a bed. They have, in fact, never slept alone. My mother and three of her siblings shared a bed for most of her childhood, then my uncle (the second oldest) moved into his own room and the girls continued to share a room/bed. And this would have been middle-class America, 1950s-60s. I'm pretty sure my dad shared sleep with his brothers, as well (5 boys).

 

I honestly don't understand why people are so obsessed with where other people sleep. Good grief. :glare:

[AndyJoy]

Though we had separate rooms, my sister slept in my double bed with me from ages 6-11 (I was 8-13) until I "weaned" her off of it. She loved to snuggle up against me and slept much better with me than alone. However, I don't like to be touched while I'm sleeping and she is a very warm sleeper, so I spent a lot of time peeling her off of me! When I was 13, I got tired of it, and started "weaning" her off by letting her sleep with me 5 nights a week, then 3, then only 1, then only occasionally. My college roommate says that when I was 19, I still had dreams about it, and whined, "Lisa, get off of me!" in my sleep! I think it was a great bonding experience for us. We had some really great conversations and sister time at night.

 

One of my sisters most embarrassing moments was when she was 7. We had guests visiting, so we kids slept in the living room, and the other kids' mom slept in my bed. In the middle of the night, my sister sleepwalked into my room and climbed in bed with this woman. Like she usually did to me, she wrapped herself around her. The woman thought it was her own daughter at first, but discovered it was Lisa and laughed aloud. Lisa woke up and was mortified!:D We still tease her about it sometimes.