I am a little frustrated right now with my mom. I will try to keep this somewhat short.
My mom is in New Hampshire and I am in Florida. She is alone (my step dad died 11 yrs ago). My brother is however still in NH and they see each other here and there.
She has not been to visit me since 2000. She is afraid to fly and afraid to drive herself down here. I have been to NH every year sometimes twice a year since then. She usually pays for 2 of the plane tickets for us to come. Even with her paying for the flights (well, 2 of them), I still end up spending an arm and a leg because she wants to go out all the time.
Here is my frustration: She always makes me feel guilty if I cannot come. She thinks that because I homeschool, that we should have no problem picking up and going. I do not want to go this year!!!!!!!! I have a son in college that we are paying for some of it and I have other responsibilities. We are going to Tennessee to visit friends in November and I am really trying to save for this, and I do not want to feel guilty for wanting to go somewhere other than NH!
Well, I just got off of the phone with her and I told her that we would not be coming. Her composure changed immediately. I told her that it would be so much easier for me and less expensive for her if she would just get on a train and visit us. She has 4 weeks of vacation a year, but she says she does not want to take 2 weeks at once. I feel like she is being selfish seeing how I have been the one to go there every year for the last 11 years. She also says that she is too old to travel by herself. She is 65, very independent and she lives by herself (which BTW, is the only way she wants to live) and she works full time and goes out ALL the time. The "I'm too old" excuse is bogus to me.
However, she always leaves me feeling sooooo guilty.
Am I being selfish?? Should I be visiting her whenever I can, especially if she is paying for the tickets? I just know that if I had grandchildren in another state and I was able, I would try and visit as much as I could.
Please be honest with your advice.