First, I agree, the owner was way out of line! He/she just wants to make that $$. You are the only person who really knows your child. God created each child with their own unique personality.
My dd (5) still sleeps with me, as did all my children, and all of them are pretty outgoing kids. So, it is not the co-sleeping.
She will open up in her own time. I would try different activities with her. Soccer, swimming, etc..... She may find something that she loves and begin to overcome her fears.
You are a great mom! I can feel the love you have for her through your words!
This too shall pass.......
:grouphug: