This is my favorite. Lemonade pie. I have no idea where the original recipe is from, my Mom made it a lot and I'm guessing she got it from a box or can. I often double it as it's so easy to make, the amounts below are for one pie. Graham Cracker Crust 6 ounces frozen lemonade 8 ounces Cool Whip 1/2 can Eagle Brand condensed milk (I'm guessing it was an Eagle Brand recipe since it specifically lists it) 1 tsp vanilla Mix above until creamy. Add about 3/4 of a 16 ounce can of Mandarin oranges (drained). Use remainder to decorate. Pour into pie crust and freeze You can also add crushed pineapple but I prefer it without. I've also made it as a pink lemonade pie using pink lemonade and strawberries instead of oranges, it's pretty but the strawberries get a little too hard. It freezes very solid, so if you are taking it somewhere and it gets left out it is still usually fine as it just is an easier to eat consistency.

My math loving son really enjoyed all the extra AoPS books. He self-studied with all the AOPS books rather than the classes as the time of the classes didn't work for us (we're East Coast so it as at night and he's a swimmer who got up at 3:45 AM every day so no night classes ). He especially liked C&P and NT. He always thought he would be a Math Major and he is now thinking Math and Computer Science (it's interesting to me that @regentrude mentioned those AOPS classes might be helpful for Comp Sci, I am not a Math/Physics or CS person so it's all kind of a mystery to me). In high school we always knew he'd do something Math related but weren't sure exactly what. He actually didn't like CS in high school as it was boring but is loving it in college. My oldest is finishing up his freshman year but graduated two years ago (did a gap year). I purposefully have been staying away from the high school and college boards for awhile but for some reason clicked on this thread earlier. They made me so stressed when thinking about college, although the advice can be helpful. We decided early on to not try for highly selective schools. My husband went to an Ivy and had mixed feelings about it. And we knew that if that was what oldest wanted that we'd have to somewhat be intentional about crafting a transcript/high school experience. I think if you have a kid who is truly exceptional that might not be true but my son is smart and a good student but not one of those crazy genius kids. His transcript would look like many other smart, gifted kids. And he wasn't someone that cared about that super selective place or wanted to spend his time in high school trying to get there. We instead looked at what we thought was a good fit for him (things like size, culture, location). We aimed for schools where we thought he would get a scholarship based on his test scores, so he was at the higher end of their applicants but not so high that the school wouldn't be academically challenging. He decided he wanted to swim in college about halfway through high school and that helped also with narrowing it down. During the application process he talked to people at the math departments. Most of the schools he applied to were very small and they were happy to have alumni call him and talk to him about their experiences. A conversation with one of the math professors at his current school was what helped him decide on it. All that to say that I think if you get outside the highly selective school world, there are a LOT of schools that are great schools that are going to be happy to have a kid like yours.

My boys really enjoyed Swordbird and the other two books in the series. The author, Nancy Yi Fan was 12 when it was published but it was a NYT bestseller. It's really amazing considering her age. I found it a little too similar to other fantasy sagas but my boys really liked it. And it's good for that age, an easy read. It's a fantasy series about two warring tribes of birds (the blue jays and cardinals). They also liked The High-Skies Adventures of Blue Jay the Pirate by Scott Nash which is pretty much what you would expect from the title. Another very fun book is the United Tweets of America by Hudson Talbott. It's a picture book that features all the state birds competing in a pageant for the best bird. It's very funny.

Just to throw out one other idea, PA Homeschoolers has AP Physics C (the Mechanics and EM courses) and they allow you to do it concurrently with Calculus. My oldest is a strong Math student and did it that way. He did both of the classes in one year (they have them as one semester or one year options) while also doing Calculus. He did very well on both of the AP Physics tests. I know you weren't necessarily looking at AP classes but thought I'd throw that out there as an option.

My son has a saying that he says ironically "Imagine, your life experience is not exactly the same as mine." It's become sort of a catch-all in our family for expressing that feeling of not really understanding why someone does something or likes something that we can't imagine doing or liking but that we don't think there is anything wrong with doing or liking. So when I say "odd" I think that's what I mean. I do think there are some people who really think it's weird to want to be alone and to go away alone but I think most people who wouldn't do it themselves think of it like they might if I said I love to eat pickles dipped in peanut butter. Not something they'd do themselves or even think of but to each their own.

I do this every year for my birthday since I turned 40 (so about the past 11 years). I'm an introvert, my husband is an extrovert. The year I turned 40 I told him that what I wanted as a gift was to go to a hotel for 24 hours alone and I'd realized that I'd been waiting for him to suggest it but that he was never going to suggest it. He thought it was weird but was totally happy to make it happen and has been fine with me doing it pretty much every year since. And now that the kids are older I go for a whole weekend. I don't usually go far away because we live in a city with lots to do but I stay in a hotel and some years go to museums or a movie or hike and some years just sit in the room and read and take baths. I find that people either have the reaction where they think it's the best idea ever and tell me they wish they could do it. Or they are like my husband and think it's kind of odd. For my husband's birthday this year we are literally having an open house for 8 hours at our house where people can come and go all day. He has invited literally everyone he knows and even some people he's just met. I think this is very odd but am happy to make it happen for him. 😀 I know all of that is kind of an aside from the loneliness topic...but I saw that post and had to respond that you are not pathetic at all!

Coming back to add...it hasn't all been easy and my middle child is in public high school this year primarily for social reasons. The loneliness just got too hard for him as he got older and once his brother went to college. I think too often homeschoolers are so defensive about the idea of not needing "socialization" that they don't want to admit that socializing can be an issue and that loneliness is real for a lot of homeschoolers. Just wanted to add that to say that although I mentioned above some things that worked for us in different seasons, I also do know it's hard.

Could you try hosting/leading some kind of activity for kids that age? I found that my kids made friends easier when they had some kind of structured activity to do together. That then led to being comfortable just hanging out. We often didn't go to park days because my kids are introverts and if we had shown up to a park day where they didn't know anyone they would have felt like it was awkward and not fun. They liked going to the park and doing unstructured things once they knew people but we tried an open homeschool park day invite once or twice and it was not a good fit. If parents near you seem to want things where they can drop their kids off or that have some kind of "purpose" that might also make people more likely to come. I did Odyssey of the Mind for years, that was a great way to build friendships. They enjoyed working on the project together and then they would play. I did a book group for my daughter for a few years that was pretty easy. We'd talk about a book, do a little activity and then the kids would play. A friend of mind then kind of took over the same group and just called it 'Girls Fun Day' and they would go once a week and do something. The girls are older and now they do a science experiment together and then hang out. I know someone else who lead nature walks monthly at a local park/wetland. There was a little structure, but mostly the kids would just go running down the path playing and the adults would talk.

If you have Amazon prime, the sales/extra savings can make things comparable but it's definitely not the cheapest option. Dh does most of our shopping and he goes to Aldi, Lidl or the Korean grocery store mostly. There are a few things at Trader Joe's we will go for. And a few things at Whole Foods I will go for.. -The 365 brand of frozen vegan "chicken" patties. My son is a vegan and I'm vegetarian and these are the best we've found. They aren't healthy but are a good quick option to have at home. In general, they have a fair amount of good quick things for vegans/vegetarians. -Senor Fields salsa. -Fig spread (they probably have this other places, I just know it's there) -Cheese "ends"- my husband likes cheese and they sell their small ends of cheese at a low price. They don't fit into a pretty package but are otherwise fine and it's a fun way to try different fancy cheeses. The only other thing I go there for is to get food for dinner when I don't want to cook. There is one right beside by daughters dance studio. It's more expensive than making food myself but less expensive than take-out or going out. And I can grab a bunch of things that various people will eat...pico de gallo, sushi, cheese, spreads...etc. They also have a good hot bar and a good salad bar. And the Amazon returns are really a bonus. You can just take it in, no box. It's crazy easy.

I've had a very hard past couple of years for a variety of reasons. A lot of the things here are good suggestions but when things are toughest, sometimes a long list of things just makes me feel overwhelmed, even when it's all stuff I know is helpful. I realized in the fall that the things that are the key for me and I try now to do regularly.. 1) Move my body in some way. This could be very minor, I don't specify any goals. Just something. (I do have exercise goals but when I'm going through a slump I just keep it very simple and low pressure. A ten minute walk or stretching for ten minutes. Usually if I start I feel better and do more but I tell myself I only have to do a tiny bit). 2) Community. This is harder but I try really hard to have something on the calendar to look forward to doing with other people other than my husband and kids...or something special with them. I am very much an introvert and when I feel down I withdraw even more and it's not healthy for me. 3) Read something. I realized that for me this is the thing that makes me feel the most like myself. And is also the thing that I stop doing when I'm feeling down. Again, no goals for times or pages or what to read...just read something. The other thing that has helped me when I'm feeling down or overwhelmed because I am a listmaking person and checking things off helps me feel good...is to give myself three things to do everyday. These can be VERY basic, and may be things that I don't actually have much of a choice about or are going to happen (like go to work or shower). Before I go to sleep I think about three good things from the day and the three things I want to do the next day. And that just gives me an anchor. And at the end of the day I feel like I've accomplished something even if it's very basic things. It's kind of tricking my brain into feeling like I'm energetic and productive...which then makes me feel energetic and productive.

I listed it as "AOPS Calculus (at the AP BC level)" . My son self-studied for Calculus. Similarly he took a Chem class that prepared them for the AP exam but the teacher hadn't had it approved officially (it was at our co-op). We called that "Advanced Chemistry at the AP level". In the course descriptions I just said he prepared and took the AP exam. For Chemistry, he had a score when he was applying to college. For Calculus he didn't but he did have other Math standardized scores that showed he was a strong student.

I agree. I would just call it English 10 on the transcript. I had a math/computer science kid who hated writing. He liked to read but not analyze books. What you have listed would have been a LOT of time for him. Two hours a day of LA six days a week is a lot for a kid who doesn't like it.

I got prescription sunglasses just in the distance prescription and keep them in my car. I kind of wish I'd gotten progressives and I might do that this coming up summer. I can read without my glasses and last summer I did that outside with just regular sunglasses. I get my glasses through Zenni and they are super cheap (but really good quality) so I felt good about ordering multiple pairs. Dh has worn glasses his whole life and has used Zenni for a long time.

We have done lots of different activities at different levels over the years. We prioritized evenings at home when they were littler, most of the time but had seasons where the activity interfered with dinner. I've tried to mostly let my kids drive the bus as far as how much and what they want to do. I required swimming and being on the summer swim team until I thought they were strong enough swimmers or about age 8. They all three got hooked and have loved swimming. An advantage of swimming as a summer sport is that it's all ages/genders together for meets and such. So our summer is very pool focused and we aren't at home much with swim meets and functions almost every day but we are all together. Even when our youngest was too little for the team she would hang out with the big kids and cheer and was sort of a team pet. The only other thing I've required is music because I am tone deaf and felt like musical education was important but not something I could provide as a homeschool parent. Two of my kids really enjoyed piano and continued by choice. One quit fairly early and dabbled in other instruments by his own choice. I don't think there is one right answer to this or one way to do it.

I've read through the whole thread Two thoughts that haven't been mentioned (I think).. -I've realized that there are times when I want my kids to make a certain choice that I know we have to make (for financial or practical reasons or whatever) but that I know they aren't necessarily excited about I present the information but I do it in a way that I'm trying to get them to agree with me. And there is part of me that wants them to not be upset. Where in reality, they might understand the reasons and they aren't mad but they do resent it a little and I need to just let them be upset. -I have one kid who is very tough to figure out how to communicate with. He doesn't like to talk about stuff, he has anxiety. (He's also a 16 year old swimmer who swims at 4:45 in the morning coincidentally). And he has a really really hard time making decisions, partially I think due to anxiety. I want to involve him in decisions because I want to respect his wishes...but I've begun to realize that sometimes he just needs me to make the choice as the adult. The tricky thing for me is knowing when to make the decision and when to let him choose. I really liked what @SKL wrote above but it wouldn't work with my son. I often joke that he's like a wild woodland creature that if you startle will just run away and hide. He used to be like that with a kid if I tried to turn an interest into "school" and now he's like that if I try and directly ask him questions about feelings or what he's thinking. Maybe none of those things are going on here, but maybe it's part of why he doesn't want to talk about it. So one way to phrase it might be "Hey, I've tried to talk to you about what you want to do this summer instead of ______. If _______ was really important to you then we can brainstorm ways to make it happen. I want to work with you but I can't read your mind and figure out what you want if you don't talk to me about it. So for right now we aren't going to sign up for the summer session of ________ because I can't figure out a way to make the transportation work. I'm going to register you for ___________ which you used to really love because I think you need some summer activity. I'm also going to require you to get a job. If you aren't ok with that plan I"m totally open to discussing it or coming up with something else but I need your input. Unless you tell me by ________ that's the plan."

I went to a lecture by one of the people on the AAP committee who wrote the new guidelines that recommend babies stay in the room up to 6 months (I'm a pediatrician). One of the other doctors in the room raised their hands and asked "Does anyone on the committee actually have children or actually work in a clinical setting with new parents?" The entire room applauded. The poor woman giving the lecture kind of hemmed and hawed and said that they know it's tough but evidence shows it's safer, etc. Most pediatricians I know hate that guideline. Whoever above said that the guidelines all stem from making sure babies don't sleep as deeply which seems to help prevent SIDS is absolutely right. But I think we've lost some common sense. I mean we could also tell people with older kids that to absolutely protect them from accidents you should stay with your child 100% of them and literally never take your eyes off them. Yes, it would prevent a lot to accidents, but it would be crazy. I think a lot of the safe sleep measures make sense and it's good to follow them but all babies are different and parents are different and sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to survive. The biggest preventive measures in my mind are not smoking, sleeping on the back (a huge decrease in SIDS after this was implemented), and sleeping on a safe surface. The last one is tricky and I think as pediatricians when we just say that the only safe sleep method is alone in a crib/bassinet in the parent's room until 6 months people just lie to us about what they are really doing and then we can't talk about ways to be "safer" but not maybe "safest". I'll also say that at a dinner recently with a bunch of pediatricians from my office (whose kids range in age from 30's to 6 months old) EVERY single one said we had at some point slept with at least one of our kids for some period of time. I slept with all three of my kids on and off, I never really wanted to co-sleep but they all needed the comfort for sleep. I knew the risk and was wiling to take it so that we could get some sleep...I knew I don't drink or take meds that make me very sleepy, our mattress was safe, I didn't use pillows near the baby, etc. I like to tell parents that sleep and feeding are very cultural and within certain basic safety guidelines (don't give a four month old a whole grape, don't put a two month old face down on a soft pillowy mattress) it really doesn't matter what you do and it's more about your parenting/family style.

I'm a big fan of any of the Jose Andres restaurants. You can get a gift card that is good for any of them and they are all fairly close to Chinatown. The restaurants vary from Jaleo- Spanish Tapas to Zayatina- Mediterranean to Oyamel- Mexican. They are all fantastic and I also like supporting Andres as he is an amazing guy (runs World Central Kitchen). If they like Indian, Rasika is in that area and is very very good. Dh is Chinese and his opinion is that the better Chinese restaurants area all out in the suburbs now, so we never eat at any in Chinatown and I can't help you there. 🙂

Has anyone suggested gabapentin? It works well for neuropathic pain/chronic pain. Either a neurologist or a pain management doctor should be very well-versed in prescribing it. Or a family doctor might be comfortable.

My son really liked the PA Homeschoolers Physics. He did the AP Physics C Mech one semester and the AP Physics C E&M the second semester with Dr. Kernion. They had a live meeting every other week and a pretty active discussion group and then a lot of self-study. I thought the labs were good and there seemed to be a fair amount of feedback and interaction for an online course. I will say my son liked self-paced classes and is a Math major now in college so it was a good fit for him.

I am late to this thread but I wanted to add to this that this can be one way out of hard conversations for people. I'm a pediatrician and I have many times told new parents that they can blame anything they want on me. "The pediatrician said no visitors for ______" or "the pediatrician said no traveling" or whatever. I have no problem being the bad guy and I will back them up. And I'm sure most other medical people feel the same and will gladly help protect new moms from well-meaning but unhelpful relatives/visitors. I do think it's better for people to learn to advocate for themselves but sometimes the emotional landscape around pregnancy/delivery is a tough time to do that for new Moms and for new Dads...if they haven't already learned it, they might need some extra help setting boundaries.

If it went away with Benadryl and then came back it’s almost definitely hives. Could be an allergic exposure of some kind or could be a virus.

I had a hard time with my first set of progressives. My husband kept telling me it was because I didn’t wear them consistently and he may have been right. Part of the issue was that my eyes weren’t that bad so it was easy enough to take them off and get by without them. Two years later, I got a new prescription and I then went to single lens distance glasses with my new prescription and that was awful because my eyes had worsened so I was constantly putting glasses on and off for different kinds of uses. I got a new pair of progressives and am much happier. I’d say it took me about a week or so to adjust fully. And we’ve had really good experiences with Zenni. We’ve just measured pupillary distance with a regular ruler and it’s worked fine.

For me some things that have worked.. -I do better with streaks or making myself do something everyday. If it’s something I really want to do I’ll do it sporadically but if it’s something I’m not excited about, even if I know it’s good for me, I am motivated by the idea of not breaking a streak. -I also like rewards. -It works best for me to work on one thing at a time. If I try to add 6 new daily habits..not going to happen. So I pick one thing, or maybe two I want to work on and give myself a goal, like doing it everyday for a month. I start small. Like "move my body in some way every day"...that could include a 15 minute walk. Then I track on the Momentum app (a free easy habit tracker). I set a reward for myself if I meet my goal...something specific I wouldn’t buy/do otherwise. Doesn’t have to be hugely expensive, could be like a new nail polish. I often find if I have done something every day for a month and it is a habit that makes me feel better (like exercise) I am then more motivated to keep doing it even if I break my streak, but I need the streak/strict mentality at the beginning to make myself do it. I might then build on that habit...so instead of just "move my body" it might be a specific amount of time or steps or whatever. Or I might work on something different. Finally, one thing that has really helped me from the Atomic Habits book is the idea of distilling the habit down to small things. For example, I like to swim but if I think about swimming when I don't really feel like it, I think about how I’ll have to shower after and it’s cold and I’m tired, etc. And then I just won’t go. So instead I’ll tell myself...all you have to do is put your bathing suit on, then you can stop if you don’t feel like it. Then it’s the next step. Well, the suit is on, now just drive to the gym, you can always just get a coffee if you decide you’re too tired. Then at the gym..."well you are here, just go get undressed and see how you feel." Then once I’m in the locker room..."just go do one lap, it would be silly to come this far". I have literally had those exact thoughts and given myself all those "outs". But I have never ever gotten in the pool and done less than what I consider a full workout. Because once I’m doing it I remember why I like it. That all may sound stupid, but it works for me. 🙂

As someone more on the side of your SIL who has two people in my life who are like you (gift giving as a love language) I have just given up trying and accepted that I can’t change them. But I’ll say that from my perspective this is more of me just accepting that they need to give and letting them do it than that this is actually something that makes me feel loved. Also..this may not be true of you...but my experience with people who are very into gift giving is that it isn’t so much the gift that is the problem it’s the expectations around the gift. You might SAY that there are no expectations but my experience is that there are hidden (even sometime to the person) expectations..not necessarily for reciprocal gifts but for: -Gratitude (I might be thankful that I have someone who loves me but not thankful for the much too small Spanx hose you gave me...yes, a gift that one of the gift-givers in my life gave one year) -Appreciation (you might buy me something that you think is so perfect and are super exctied about and I just don’t like and you are going to be let down that I didn’t like it as much as you thought I would) -Seeing the gift used (if you come to my house and I am not displaying that perfect gift, you might be upset....or you never see me wear that thing you got me you might ask about it and be sad that I ended up taking it back) -An actual expectation of gifts (the people I know who give gifts and SAY that they don’t want gifts back, actually do and are hurt if your gift is not as thoughtful as theirs) -An expectation that gift giving is now a tradition and that it has to be done. I also find that the two gift givers in my life think they are wonderful at picking gifts. They are not. They give what they would want to get. All that might not be true of you or your dh...but I’d think about it and past year gift giving and if maybe the way you give is putting expectations on people that is part of the reason they want to change things. From my perspective, I tried to convince dh's family to do a Secret Santa kind of thing to cut down on numbers of gifts. We all agreed except for the one person who is the gift giver who did Secret Santa but still got everyone gifts which was super awkward for all of us as we watcher her sit there and have nothing to open. That was the year I realized she was never going to change.

We were in a slightly similar situation last year with my now 16 year old. Has ADHD, hated school but liked learning. Anything school related was a fight of sorts. We put him in public school this year purely for mental health reasons, I really didn’t care about the academics. Academics have been a bit of a wash...he isn’t working hard but is getting good grades. He rarely if every has homework and he doesn’t seem all that into an of his classes. But he has gained some confidence (apparently he thought every single kid in public school worked really hard all the time and he was just a slacker....he no longer feels that way) and socially it’s been good which has helped with his mental health. It’s not the exact same as yours but a few thoughts that might be helpful.... *I really realized that ds needed deadlines and needed outside work not from me. Even the outside providers we chose (like Mr D) didn’t have true deadlines...so he’d get behind. On one level we appreciated their flexibility but for a kid with poor executive function and organization....no deadlines meant no incentive to get it done. Then he’d get behind and get super stressed and anxious. For us, school has helped with that because having hard deadlines means that he gets it done. I would have expected that it would be more stressful for him and that was one reason we had continued to homeschool. But it’s been the opposite of what I thought. *You know that if you are thinking D3 schools for tennis you don’t have to worry about NCAA approval, right? You probably know that but just making sure if that makes it easier to choose something.