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Alice

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Everything posted by Alice

  1. Like what kind of advice? Whether or not to get a credit card? Or how to get one?
  2. My second son entered public school as a 10th grader after homeschooling up to that point, my daughter started this year as a 9th grader. I felt like they were both as prepared as we could possibly be, but I didn't really do anything special to prepare them. I agree with those who say the social challenges and just the challenge of being somewhere all day has been a bigger adjustment than the actual academics. I would also agree that the difference between honors and non-honors has been huge. My son took mostly non-honors at first because the guidance counselors sort of encouraged that when we signed up. And he was going more for mental health reasons than academics so I was okay with it being an easy year. It was a huge mistake as the regular classes were too easy for him and somewhat boring. He was able to switch in some of them so that he had more of a challenge and this year he is in more appropriate classes. My daughter started off with all honors and some have been very challenging and some just kind of average. I think the hardest class for my daughter as far as homeschool not preparing her has been French. She did two years online with Aim Academy and I think it was solid, but the amount of speaking she had to do was much less than if she had been in a regular classroom. She has a very good teacher though and she is doing okay in the class. I'm not sure what we could have done differently though as we are not a bilingual home so any language would probably have been an issue. We could have started her in a different language at the first year level as a 9th grader but that would have meant she had to take a language all four years and she didn't want to be locked into that. My son took ASL as his language and that has been an easier adjustment. Writing has really not been an issue for either of them and we did not do a ton of formal writing in our school. We did write, but it wasn't as structured as what I hear others on here describing. They have some timed essays, but especially for the 9th grader they really take them through the process ahead of time. Their school is an IB school (International Baccalaureate) so the classes in 9th and 10th grade are somewhat structured to give them the skills they would need for IB classes/tests. So for example, she will have an essay test but will have multiple class periods ahead of time to prepare for it. Or they have this other history research skills thing they have to do that goes the whole year and each step is kind of separate and graded. My guess is that it's preparing them for a paper they would do in 11th or 12th grade where they wouldn't have the steps separated but this is giving them the skills. I think the other thing that for me as a homeschooling parent has been an adjustment is knowing how much to help and when to step in. There have been a few things I've had to intervene on but I think I probably waited too long. I wasn't sure how much parental involvement was okay, but we've had two issues where it was clear that as soon as I got involved they got handled. Knowing my role as a parent but not a homeschooling teacher/parent/guidance counselor/principal etc. has been I think as much of an adjustment for me as school has been for them. Maybe more so. Overall though I'll say that I think it's been a very positive thing for both kids, for different reasons.
  3. Thanks for all the advice. Lots to work with here!
  4. It's hard to say where the clogs hurt because they hurt so much now that it just feels like everywhere. It's mostly across the top I think though. It's not the arch. I have tried New Balance in the past, I could do that again. That is what I used to get for walking shoes because they did have the wide toe box. But they I was gifted a pair of the On shoes at the beginning of the pandemic and really liked them. I used to just use them for walking but have now shifted to wearing them all the time. (They aren't the same ones, just the same brand). I have been fitted at a running sore for my current On shoes. I tried the Hokas because I knew a lot of people that swore that they were the best if you had to stand for a long time or had feet issues. But I didn't like them. I can't remember why but they felt weird to me. Yes, I agree, they just didn't work for me. I haven't tried other Birks, I have thought about that. And yes, I know, I need to see the podiatrist. 🙂 I'm not sure if part of my issue is going around too much without shoes. I much prefer to be barefoot, always have. I don't like the constricting feeling of shoes. But I have noticed that if I'm doing a lot around the house and not wearing shoes it makes my feet hurt. Which leads me to wonder if the minimal shoe brands would also be an issue. I tried a pair of something that was supposed to be zero drop at the running store (can't remember the brand...I tried on so many shoes that day that they all ran together) and they definitely hurt.
  5. I need new shoes that don't hurt. I have a myriad of foot issues: bunions (worse on one side than the other), what I think is probably a Morton's neuroma, possible arthritis and wide feet. I currently have really two pair of shoes that don't hurt. One is a pair of On shoes- specifically the On Cloudgo. They are my second pair of On shoes and I've liked them both. I can get more and probably will. The only downside so far is that the upper is fabric and so I end up getting a hole on the sides where I have bunions (wears away faster there than elsewhere). The other pair is Birkenstocks, specifically the Arizona sandals. I am a pediatrician so on days I work I have to have something closed toe and I'm on my feet a lot. It's fairly casual so I can wear the On sneakers but I would love to have something that looks slightly nicer as they don't look always look great, depending on what I am wearing. I'd also like something slightly nicer I can wear other places. Other info that might help...I have a pair of Dansko clogs that I used to like but now hurt so much everytime I wear them. I only got them two years ago so I'm not sure if my feet changed or what the issue is. I know I can go to specialized stores, and I will probably do that but the stores I've been to either seem to have people who want to sell something particular (like the Danskos) or they are not that knowledgeable. So I'd like to go into the store with some specific things in mind that I'm looking at/for. I also know I should probably go to a podiatrist, I'm going to try to do that in the new year.
  6. Some random thoughts... Dh went to Yale (graduated in 1988) and although the stats do show grade inflation increasing, his response to this article was that everyone made A's when he was there also. The saying when he was there was "hard to get into, hard to get out of". Meaning it would take work to actually fail anything. He also usually tells people he didn't work very hard there. He worked really hard in high school, but not so much in college. When I was in medical school my school graded on a strict curve. Meaning only a certain percentage could get a Honors, regardless of percentage correct on a test. That meant every test, every class fostered an incredibly competitive atmosphere. You weren't just trying to do your best, you also had to beat everyone else. It's kind of the worst case opposite scenario of grade inflation and everyone getting an A. We have medical students come to our office and we've run into issues multiple times with students being upset with our grades. The school gives us a rubric and the way they define what they want a student to do as an Honors, maybe 1 student a year will meet (we have roughly 6-8 students a year). But we've been told that 40% of their students get honors and a pass (the grading system is Honors, High Pass, Pass, Low Pass, Fail) is considered akin to failure. We had one kid who we gave a pass, and honestly we felt like we were being generous, and we had to deal with multiple emails from the heads of the department somewhat questioning us. The message we get from the school is that we should be giving more honors and basically we've said then they need to change their rubric if they want us to honestly grade people higher. We're in kind of a unique position as we aren't employed by the school and so can kind of do what we want. If they decide to stop sending students to us it hurts them more than us, unlike a professor who is employed by the school.
  7. Since VA keeps being brought up...it is technically a "middle" state as far as regulations go but it's also very easy to homeschool here and there is one particular loophole that mans no regulation. If you claim you are homeschooling under "religious exemption" then you do not have to do anything else and you do not have to ever report again, you are done. Also, there is no requirements to prove religious exemption. I know people who claim it so that they can be exempt from the other requirements (which are IMO pretty easy). For the data in studies such as the one above it would be interesting to know if other states have similar loopholes which would make comparing low/middle/high regulation meaningless.
  8. The doctors at my practice give the nurses and front desk Amazon cards and I also put a few other items in the bag to make them a little more fun. I don't think it should count as taxable income as we aren't their employers (none of us are partners and we pay for the bags out of our own money, not the practice money). The things I put in them vary from year to year but I've done: teas, fuzzy Christmas socks, lip balms, hand lotions, chocolate, small enamel pins, pens. The socks are always very popular.
  9. One other thought. If he has ADHD (which he may not but sounds like it from the description) he may not be able to just "not procrastinate". So asking him to do that as a requirement to be able to audition might feel unfair. It's not just willpower for people who truly have issues with focus/distraction. One option would be to provide very specific scaffolding- like break down an assignment into small bites and look at it with him over every step. Another option would be to accept the procrastination, I know you said he isn't thriving now and that might not be a good answer. I know with my own son who does have ADHD that he absolutely works better under pressure. Part of helping him as been to point out choices and reframe procrastination as a choice he is making...but not as a bad habit. He feels less bad about himself which then makes it feel more like just the way he works rather than a struggle. An example would be this past weekend. He had an English essay due Monday. He could have worked on it over Thanksgiving break but he didn't. He started it Monday night around 6 pm. But he knew it was his choice and he was glad to have had the break to just goof off and not do work, even though Monday night was stressful. But he got it done. I just saw your reply...I know I said I'd be hesitant to drop the theater. I still would. But I do think it's reasonable with a 16 year old to say "Look, I can see that you are stressed and something has to change. Unless you can think of a better solution, as your parent that loves you, we're going to have you take a break from theater."
  10. Have you asked him what he would like to cut back? If theater is the thing that he loves and that provides social outlets and other positive things, I'd be hesitant to let it go. The statement that "theater is my escape from school" and your desription of him sounds a lot like my son. He is also very smart and very much loves learning on his own but does not like "school". It's been hard for me to accept that over the years as my ideal was to have this wonderful love of learning and I wanted all my kids to love "school". But I finally just had to accept that he did not. I'd be hesitant to take away the thing he loves and replace it with something he does not love and that it seems he sees as drudgery. Is there anything else you could cut back? Could he drop a class and do it as a self-taught class? Could he drop the job and plan on working in the summer for income?
  11. regentrude is way more knowledgable than me...but you could switch it and do AP Physics C (the Calc based ones) concurrently with Calculus senior year. My son took both of the classes with PA Homeschoolers while using the AOPS Calc book and did well. I also don't think you need two years of Physics, even if you are going to do the Calc based Physics.
  12. Couple of thought that haven't already been mentioned.. -For AOPS, I used the suggestions from Kathy in Richmond in this thread. My oldest was very into Math and is now a Math major, but for various reasons we wanted him to move a little faster. This helped know what to make sure to cover and what could be extras. Senior year he ended up self-teaching AP Calculus with AOPS and took the BC exam and did well. I didn't try and get it approved as an official course, just listed it as "Calculus at the AP Level". He also worked through a bunch of other math books including Statistics, Number Theory and Advanced C&P. -I also completely agree with the passion thing. Some kids will know what they want to do and go very deep, others will have a general idea but want to do lots of other things also. That's fine. -There are plenty of scholarships, especially at smaller private schools or at less competitive large public schools. There aren't very many full-ride scholarships or ones to highly competitive places. But if you just need money, and not the entire sum, you can get very good money with solid scores. My oldest had very good SAT scores, solid AP scores, and a good transcript and got multiple offers at the kinds of places he was looking. It wasn't full-ride by any means but it was enough.
  13. This. It does not matter what you do. Whatever you use someone will not read it. If you use multiple methods, someone will not read all of them. I was the head of a summer swim team for several years. One year I sent out a survey at the end of the year for feedback and one person asked for less communication about swim meets. Um, no. I can't communicate less about the main thing we do and half the time I was getting questions from people that made me think there wasn't enough communication. That (plus other experiences) made me realize that you cannot win as the head organizer of an activity. The people who are responsible will be annoyed that you send too many texts/emails/use an extra app. And the other people will not read what you do send.
  14. I can see why it would annoy you. My guess is she feels a bit threatened by her son growing older and now having a serious girlfriend. I may be wrong, but just based on what you said that's my guess. It sounds like she is trying to have a relationship with your daughter, maybe consciously or sub-consciously with the idea that it will help keep her son close. To me, she sound like someone kind of insecure who is trying to find ways to secure her relationship with her son and also trying to figure out how to have relationships with your daughter and you. I think if that's all she has done, I'd find someone to vent to (like here) and just be friendly to her.
  15. I have one I make but just saw this. The one I make is pretty much that recipe.
  16. Old Navy has a lot of classic rock T-shirts, I needed to get something for my daughter's dance recital and that worked. My oldest has a piano scarf https://www.amazon.com/piano-keyboard-scarf/s?k=piano+keyboard+scarf that he loves. It's pretty cheap on Amazon and you could each wear one, maybe along with something plain that matched (like clothing in his favorite color?) . There are other music themed scarves on there as well.
  17. We first discovered the separate duvets in Paris on a vacation. I immediately thought "wow, this is genius" and we switched. Such a huge difference. I'm not one to really care about how pretty the bed is but I don't think it's really that obvious, it's just two duvets with matching covers. If you wanted to hide that they are separate you could easily just put a thin blanket over them in the morning.
  18. This is what we do. I'm the blanket hog though and one night somehow I still stole his comforter and mine was on the floor next to me. The other advantage to having them be separate is we have them at different weights- I like it very warm and is thinner.
  19. That would definitely have been my husband's answer.
  20. Mine all came in and were fine. Dentists would always tell me to have them removed "just in case" there were problems. I finally asked one of them if I could take out his appendix "just in case" it caused a problem. He laughed and never asked again. I did finally have them removed, in my mid to late 30's. I got a cavity in one of them and the recommendation was to take it out instead of filling it for various reasons that made sense to me. I decided to just do all four at the same time. It was very easy for me, I was pretty much fine the next day and I don't really remember a lot of pain. My oldest kiddo had his out a few years ago, his were impacted and we could easily see on the Xray how they were starting to cause issues with the other teeth. He had a harder time than me. I think the difficulty had more to do with impaction vs. non-impaction rather than age.
  21. -Experiences (see a play, go to a concert, take a hike, some kind of adventure, etc) -Food -Books- Not really zero waste but you can pass them on to other people -Some kind of high quality clothing that lasts a long time (wool sweaters, really good socks, mittens/hats, etc) -If she wants zero waste I'd think about things she needs and get her something that is higher quality than she might get herself -Dh just got our middle son a set of portable utensils, it's very cool and comes in a tiny cute box. It's to keep with him so he can avoid using plastics places. A good thermos is also useful for that kind of thing.
  22. Sorry, I probably phrased it wrong. The Career/Tech certification has a wide variety of ways you can meet the requirement. You can actually earn your LPN in the schools or get a Cosmetology license. But you can also meet it with much less involved ways. I'm not a fan of all of our state's graduation requirements but I do think this is one area where they have tried hard to meet a wide variety of needs. It's not that hard to go to the Academies (where they have the specialized training). If your home school does not offer the program you are interested in you can apply and go to the school that does. They have buses that do the transportation so it doesn't rely on the student driving. My son does a class at another School and it's been pretty easy for him to do.
  23. I just had a patient tell me yesterday that our school district has decided they can no longer require this as it's an equity issue since it requires people to have access to a doctor. I was very happy because we get really tired of writing back to school notes this time of year.
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