It sounds like you (OP) already had issues with your family and whether you would go, and the money was just the icing on the cake. It would not bother me to be asked to pay that amount. It's a lot of work and money to host any large function. What people "should" and "shouldn't" do seems irrelevant to me. It just serves to feel righteous. I might have felt like the OP when I was in my 20s because of my youth and inexperience and general resentment about my family, but i no longer feel that way.

I voted because my middle name is Jennifer and my daughter's name is Genevieve, which is the French version of Jennifer. My name was given to me because my father's sister is called Jennifer, so its a family name. We called our daughter Genevieve because it was kind of King Arthury and we just liked it- dh made no connection with my middle name at all, and I didnt particularly at the time of calling her that, either. But since the I realised there is a connection and I am glad. I love the name. Its probably a bit ordinary for me to name my own child "Jennifer" but I like "Jenny" and we call our daughter "Gen", which is what my aunt is called too (spelt Jen though). Its a perfectly good name :)

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :iagree: with this. Kids need to dream big- the practicalities kick in later. But I know I wasnt motivated at that age by getting a sensible job and living a suburban boring life for the rest of my life. :iagree: with this and i encourage you to consider it rather than just dismiss it. It may not be the right solution for you and your daughter but at least be open to it being the right solution in your situation, at this time (not in general for everyone). See what the psychologist thinks. (I also agree with family therapy- because sometimes one child expresses all the negativity for the whole family). I suggest the possibility of school because I was having terrible trouble with my ds15 and it was really stressful for me- I was so used to it I didn't even realise how stressful my days were with him. He is at school this year and it is perfect for him- and we all know it. I am healing (my adrenals are not firing off all day!), he is thriving by having many teachers and other kids to bounce off each day. Yes he is exposed to things we would rather he wasnt- but its ok. The benefits outweigh the problems by far. The parent/child dynamic sometimes needs a break- if it has got stuck in a bad rut, school is not a giving up on the child. It is giving both parent and child a break from a relationship pattern that is unhealthy. Of course- trust your own gut feeling about it- your child may be in more serious danger than school can influence- but I know it has been a good thing here, and its easy to get stuck in "homeschooling is always best" once you are in a homeschooling mindset and subculture. I thought I would lose my close relationship with my kids once we weren't homeschooling, but actually, it has been great for us all. We are all free spirited, freedom loving, independent people- and we all are thriving with our space from each other this year, after so many years being so close. Your child does sound depressed, but underneith depression is frequently rage- rage that is turned inside, hence the desire to self harm. She needs some deeper healing to find out why she is so unhappy, or at least to get her in touch with her deeper emotions. I would also suggest- do not be afraid of your own child. You are doing your best- have confidence that you are doing your best and that you care. If you make a wrong decision, when you notice, you will change it- but don't keep beating yourself up or being too frightened of the consequences, to do anything. If banning electronics turns out to be too much- give some back. You love her- you are trying your best to help her. If you sway too far to one side or the other- underneath she will know you are just trying to help her. She may always be difficult- but you don't have to suffer on top of the suffering, if you know what i mean. Its hard- don't make it harder by being hard on yourself.

I went cold turkey a couple of years ago and have been fairly sugar free since then. But I do have the occasional thing nowadays- but rarely cakes and cookies etc What about the No S diet ? No snacks, no sweets (your obvious cakes, cookies etc) and no seconds, except on S days- which are Saturdays, Sundays and Special days (like a wedding or your birthday- several a year). I am following it because I think it is a good life habit, even though I no longer need to lose weight. I just save having a sweet treat- for me, that might be a piece of raw chocolate cheesecake at the raw food stall at the markets, made with pretty healthy ingredients- for the weekend. YOu can have anything though- but just on weekends or special days- so that rather than a daily habit, its a special treat- which is probably more healthy. But if you are really caught in the addiction of sugar- its good to eat more at mealtimes and get your protein- and for me, eating any sugar for a while there was a trigger for binging. I eat plenty of fruit though, so after meals I eat fruit for that sweet taste.

Everyone swims here in Australia- usually from a young age. I took first child to baby swimming lessons and she could always swim and felt comfortable in the water- it was a gradual thing. 2nd child was more frightened and it wasn't till we moved into a house with a swimming pool when he was 6, that he learned to swim properly. Basically, he taught himself. We just showed him a few things. Both did end up having lessons later on but they really felt like a waste of time and we didn't follow through with them for very long. Once they could swim, they could swim.

I guess we didnt want especially popular names and we tried to choose accordingly. I would have chosen more unusual name-s dh was the more conservative. Who knew that Jared would be such a popular name? And how many variations of spelling? Jared's best friend is also called Jared, same spelling. I never even heard the name till I was an adult. So we tried but failed with that name- but its ok. Not something we lose sleep over, and he likes it well enough.

My understanding is that the focus is on the radioactive iodine, but it does have a short half life (a few days?). There are other, far more insidious components of the radiation being leaked which have half lives of thousands of years.

It wasn't so long ago I did another linen closet cleanout, so its in not too bad shape right now.

Legal age is 18 here. I know both mine already have tried it in party situations. Underage binge drinking is rife here in Australia. One is sensitive to alcohol and apparently collapsed- can pnly drink small amounts. The other got drunk _ i have no idea when, he told me months later- and now cant stand the smell- makes him nauseous. We don't allow it, but both kids are extrovert, social animals. Our attitude seems to be minimising it. Dh is very, very against it, as an ex alcoholic. Probably makes too big a deal.

We do raw food too. The nice thing is, it doesn't smell and doesn't make them do stinky farts :) So we give a variety of different raw meats and bones, plus scraps. I sometimes mix raw mince with soaked grains, yoghurt, chopped vegies, garlic etc- but mostly I rely on food scraps to fill in the gap. BUt if you don't want him to put on weight- don't over feed. Dogs actually don't need feeing every day- it is a human emotional thing that we do that. However dh cant bear not to, so he feeds them once a day. When dh is not around, I often will fast the dogs for a day. They don't actually like it, but it is good for them.

Dh and I sleep in separate rooms, and he works evenings, so night time tea never happens- which is fine with me too because I love my sleep :) ....Tea happens when the kids are away or occupied for a few hours and we have some spare time. Now and then. Usually afternoons. We just say we are having a nap, and lock the door.

I do not belong to a religion myself. But I have a friend who is a Franciscan monk who is very radical in his views. He is homosexual, promotes multi faith events, and believes in reincarnation. He is forever being reprimanded by the church. He owns nothing and lives in poverty, living by donation, as per his vow- he wears his monks robes a lot of the time- he is nothing like any other Christian I have met, especially Catholic- yet he very much sees himself as one. We have great conversations.

I sort of get why people would think its rude to ask specifically for what you want but at the same time.....I think we live in times where we can all pretty much go out and get what we actually want- we generally don't "need" anything. And unfortunately, we all tend to end up with so much clutter and junk- especially our kids. I dont look forward to Christmases or birthday presents any more because most of the time...I really dont want more stuff, and its unlikely people I don't know very well- that includes extended family- would buy me stuff I wont want to give away in the next few months. I think there is a move towards asking for what we want and its not really a bad thing- but I also understand it does seem a bit tacky because we are supposed to just accept what we get and leave it up to the person. But in these days of junk and clutter- I am not sure that its such a bad idea to be specific. One would hope that if the parent was asking specifically....that the child was actually getting what they want rather than what the parent wants, however. I have taken to giving money to my kids' friends because the alternative is to rush out and buy something they may or may not like ro value- wheras most kids do appreciate money. My dd16 however loves to gift shop and takes her time buying something special and well thought out- I dont have that knack. I would be glad to give money.

When my kids were younger, I would chop up raw vegetables and give them a plate of them to eat while they were watching TV. Find out whether your kids prefer their vegies cooked or raw- mine prefer them raw. Avocado dip or hummous with vegetable crudites works well- also, in front of the TV. They barely notice they are eating vegetables. Some vegies are actually fruits- so you could mix cucumber, tomato, mandarin pieces and apple slices on a plate. Or add grapes to a salad. I like raisins in my waldorf salad. I have always taken my kids fruit and vegetable shopping at markets. Its so colourful and it makes them curious about how things taste. I always buy them something they find interesting- usually an unusual fruit but sometimes it's a vegetable. Our meals are based around vegetables with protein as a side, rather than the other way around. The meat or tofu or whatever it is, is the treat, not the main part of the meal. Baked mixed vegetables- potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin, carrots, beets, parsnip- all chopped to a similar size, drizzled with olive oil, sprinkled with seasalt, and a couple of sprigs of fresh rosemary from the garden. Baked. Served with gravy and salad. 100% vegetable meal. Experiment with dressings for salads- it can make all the difference. Experiment with sauces for stir fries. I buy frozen vegetables for quick stir fries when I don't feel like making dinner. Fried rice with vegetables chopped tiny. Hide vegetables in bolognaise sauce. Corn on the cob- we eat ours raw. Talk to them about how important vegetables are for their brain, their growing body- engage their self interest. Ask for what they might like to try- try and enlist their cooperation. My kids, after years of having a mum who nags them about their vegetables, now come home from camps and beg me for a healthy meal, and can't stand camp food. They will ask me for a plate of vegetables. But I have worked very hard to get to that with them- and there was plenty of resistance along the way. Keep exposing them to new foods but make it an adventure not a punishment. My son has never liked soup and just wont eat it- and I don't make him- but he loves olives, and tofu. And both my kids love sushi, seaweed, pickled ginger and all.

I really didn't think about it when I was younger- I only knew I would have one, because that drive was very strong in me- but I honestly never thought beyond one. Dh was clear he wanted two with me- and close in age. So they would have each other. (He has an older dd as well). But having had the 2, I wanted another one, and possibly would have had another 2 if left up to me. However dh was very clear he would have no more. The yearning is still in me and i am almost 44. I presume it will die down when I go through menopause and the hormones change. Hopefully. Right now- I would probably have another one if dh would say yes- its been 15 years since my last. My brother has 6 kids. I really never considered such a thing- but as he and his wife have 6, and as I have been exposed to so many big families through homeschooling- I do love the idea of a big family.

I dont like butt writing myself, and so far haven't had to deal with it in dd16. If she did, both her dad and I would say something- but the way we would do it would be to tease her about it- especially her dad. He would tease her about what she was asking for from guys. He does that anyway with what she wears sometimes. We have never felt to tell her not to wear something, but we will tell her what we think, every now and then, and then leave it to her discretion. But she wears plenty of things that I am sure wouldn't pass the modesty test around here. Mostly, its tasteful and she has her own unique sense of style and we have no problem with her looking outrageously gorgeous and sexy within reason. She doesn't look slutty though. I think sometimes adults forget what its like to be young.

I can think of 3 straight off but there may be a couple more. I think it is a cultural thing- my mother's generation wore short hair and my mother kept my hair short too. I think it was a female liberation thing, personally- they could so they did. And it probably was liberating to have short hair rather than HAVE to have long hair. But now that we CAN have either many of us choose long. Thats even more free:) I think as my generation gets older there will be far more older women with long hair. A friend in her 40s, a bit older than me, has told me in no uncertain terms that once a woman hits her 40s she should cut her hair short "otherwise she is just trying to hang onto her youth " - that "mutton dressed up as lamb" type attitude. I just smile and shrug. Fashion is obviously so not my thing :)

But petrol/gas is a fossil fuel. It is a limited resource, not an endless one. This had to happen- and people have been trying to warn us about this period of cheap oil coming to an end, for decades, but especially in the last decade. You will find no other country has it any better than yours, as far as oil prices go. Even now. Here in Australia we also have vast distances to travel. Dh and I were talking yesterday about how in Europe and many other places you can live walking distance from all amenities and never need a car your whole life. We live in a capital city here in Australia and still don't live walking distance from amenities, and the public transport is terrible (better than none though). Its hard to be car free here.

OK here in Australia it is $1.50 a litre in the city which by my calculations is about $5.70 a gallon. ($US and $Au are similar right now) It has gone up from about $4.60 - $5. You guys have had it good for a long time. Anyone here heard of peak oil? Even my gas- not petrol- just went up 10 cents a litre this week and cost me $10 more to fill up than 2 weeks ago. I am honestly thinking of buying myself a small motorbike for short errands. Dh already has a motorbike. The days of cheap petrol are probably over- at least, in the next few years.

What a lovely idea!

sundried tomatoes various types of olives- we love the special marinated ones but kalamata are great avocado sprouts (i love sunflower sprouts and ming bean sprouts) mixed tamari nuts- either bake or dry toast in a heavy frypan, a mixture of almonds, sunflower seedsm pepitas and sesame seeds (or jsut sunflower seeds), until lightly toasted. While still very hot, add a splash of soy sauce, Braggs or tamari and stir in, and let it evaporate. Let them dry and then cool, and then place in a jar. Use a couple of tablespoons on salad. Different salad dressings- home made- can be good too. Avocado dressing, asian salad dressing, I make a great pink goji berry salad dressing. I make them in bulk and keep them in the fridge.

I add it to my home made raw chocolates :) Recipe: ~Raw yummilicious MILK chocolate (with no dairy)~ 

2/3 cup cashews
 2/3 cup agave (I use ½ a cup)
 2/3 cup cacao butter (I substitute a few tbs of coconut oil for some of the cacao butter) 
 1 tsp. vanilla 
4 Tbsp. pure raw cacao powder 

Liquify cacao butter in sun or dehydrator or double boiler. In vitamix blend all of the above, and pour into molds or onto wax paper in dish or into ice cube trays. Freeze ,cut, and enjoy! The recipe is flexible- I add goji berries, maca powder, or whatever I have on hand. I use silicon, heart shaped ice cube trays as moulds and keep the chocolates in the freezer although they can handle room temp (not too warm though). It could be made without a blender if you left out the cashews, but it would have a much stronger, less “milky†flavour.

I have seen these and I think they are built for raw foodies so would be able to make a decent green smoothie. If I didnt have a decent blender already I would get one- they are so cute!

And isnt that just a little bizarre? I love it though.

Thanks Christina, not sure why it didn't work for me. Negin- that looks much easier and more straightforward than what you were looking at before. It seems like pretty common sense and best of all, doable, to me. I love simple.