I can so relate to this! The was I deal with it here is by continually going to swap meet, garage sales and op shops. And letting go of the old as the new comes in. WHen I get a thing for a particular style of clothing, thats all I will look for at our weekly round of the 2nd hand places. Its like I have filters on. I don't pick up things I am not interested in- I just look for a certain thing until i find it. If I find a picture in a frame that really calls to me, I think about whether i want to introduce that new theme into my home- and if I do, I might change a few other things in the room too. I might pick up a new set of cushions for the sofas one day because I jsut really like them- the old ones are tossed. I enjoy it! Its cheap, entertaining, and its all just getting recycled really. I love change too. Recently I was given a kig sized bed. I have decided than rather have a king sized doona on it, I like to have several single doonas that I can toss on and off me, wrap around me etc. So I have a new mission to find white doona covers and white feather doonas- I have them now and love my new bed. It was fun- an adventure! I love minimalism too- but I also love colour, change, variety. As long as as much stuff or more is going out the door, at the same time it is coming in- I am fine with it. I dont buy much new at all- the fun is finding it 2nd hand, for me.

Lifelong journey here, learning to accept my own body as it is, lumps and bumps and all. To me, whether my husband accepts it is secondary to whether I do- although he seems to :) One thing I like to look at is older women that I find beautiful, who dress well and have a certain bearing. I look at them and take notice when I see them. Often they carry some weight- but something about them is just beautiful anyway. I am learning to distinguish also between "beautiful" and "sexually attractive". Not that they are mutually exclusive, but I read something recently which made me realise that trying to hold onto that strongly sexually attractive look is what makes many of us unhappy, when we could just accept our own ageing beauty. We tend to lump them together- but older women wearing the scars of a lived life have their own beauty long past they are designed to attract a man to make babies :) Not that they can't enjoy their sexuality, but its different. But you are probably still young and in baby making stage- I think its important to accept yourself, but realise virtually every woman struggles with this issue. I just like looking at older women who seem to have matured through it, and draw some confidence from them.

Lol, dragged out of the dungeons, eh. The whole issue seems so ridiculous to those of us who live in countries where we have had compassionate, humane 'universal health care" for decades.

ANd just a gentle suggestion- you might find it interesting and creative to try some vegetarian recipes yourself and eat a meatless meal once in a while. Vegetarian meals can be tasty and satisfying.

Yes, you could be right Melissa- although we do do our share of it here too- Perth being the world's capital for ADHD medication apparently. But still...it does seem overall better here. Whatever it is, its nobody's fault- it's a reflection of a cultural thing, as you say. Negin- we don't watch commercial TV here but recently I somehow ended up watching some and was amazed that every 2nd ad was for a painkiller, all evening. Look, I take stuff too- I am not trying to come across all holier than thou about this. You should see my bathroom cupboards stuff full of "natural" supplements. I am a bit nutty about them at times- but I do try to stay really aware of this issue- taking a pill for every discomfort. And my dh is really against it- and doesn't like me giving the kids too many supplements either, for the simple reason of not learning to 'pill pop" as a normal mode of living. Since they don't like taking them, its usually kept to a minimum anyway, and usually its something like magnesium (which by the way can be excellent for insomnia) for sore muscles after a gymnastic lesson. I took over the counter cough medicine for my nasty cough recently so that *I* could sleep. I rarely do it (every couple of years or so) but when you really need it, it's great to have it, no doubt about it. But it is sad to me that our kids are so frequently medicated and that medicating is considered so normal that people don't think twice about it. I guess thats why I raise my voice now and then about it- I feel strongly about it- and I just want to raise awareness about it.

Mine were a little paranoid and over sensitive about becoming odd so they have made sure they fit into mainstream very well. Kids have good survival strategies! But they were never in much danger of being too odd because they are both pretty peer oriented and have a wide range of friends who are not homeschooled because of Scouts. They did find many homeschooled kids odd and over protected, but they had to mix with extremely Christian families who were really culturally different from us. They probably responded by overcompensating to fit in with their non homeschooled friends. I think its been good for them to have a variety of friends, but they do make comments about some homeschooled kids being weird- in the sense of not socially comfortable the way they are. I am sure many homeschooling parents would be happy to consider their kids odd in the way my kids aren't comfortable with- mine were homeschooled partly because they ARE so peer oriented and desperate to fit in.

I LOVE beans and don't tend to have problems with them - rarely, anyway. Dh, a strict vegetarian, bloats up with them badly. Makes it very hard to make food for him, especially when he doesn't like vegies much either! I would try eating the smaller beans- lentils, maybe aduki- and soaking them really well for up to 24 hours. Then cook them really well. See if that does the same thing to you. I think the bigger the bean, the harder it tends to be to digest. DH can occasionally eat some well cooked lentils, though he will still have some reaction- he can eat them once but not again within a few days. But his intestines are very easily disturbed.

Yes, it is judgemental, but it is also how I see it- and it's not attacking any individual, more a collective mentality in our society.

Lol, dh seems to have come through that stage. He changed careers. He bought a red sports car (cheap), and a Harley Davidson (which he still has). He bought a Mercedes recently too- one of his poorer buys actually, since it is a lovely looking piece of junk, but that is for sale now. We survived- lucky he is a bargain hunter and good with money- he usually makes a profit when he eventually resells. Its my turn now.

FOr me, it hit me around my 30th birthday and I just started to feel like a grown up. Before that I really felt like a phony, wondering why everyone couldnt see I was just a big kid in an adult body. Now I am 43- I pretty much feel like a grown up but I think I have a fairly youthful spirit and dont think being a grownup has to look a certain way.

What about starting earlier in the mornings?

Gosh no way would I have more kids under those circumstances. I am sure people will disagree, but if your health is poorly, how can you take good enough care of the kids you already have if you keep having more? I never understood that mentality.

I have to say it- I feel sad and disturbed that so, so many people on these boards- which might be a cross section of U.S. community- need or choose to take so many medications (natural or not) for so many things. I really wonder if you think it is normal-does everyone you know take so many things- for depression, ADHD, sleep- not just adults but the kids? I think it is a sign of a very disturbed society that so many people are so medicated and need medications to just get through the day, or the night. Not just a few- but so many people- and the poor kids. Sorry- it just hit me that people discuss these things here all the time to the extent that it seems everyone thinks it is normal to reach for pills for everything. I dont even like the"take a pill" approach to natural medicine, or the mentality that if its "natural" it must be ok, though I fall into that pattern at times myself- I am still wary of it. Why are we SO out of balance that we are so sick, so disturbed? Why do our kids need medications, for goodness sakes? I like to go for the root causes- the out of balance lifestyles, the stress etc and i KNOW its not always simple or simplistic. And I know every single case is different, and if my kid was unable to sleep, night after night, I might as a last resort give them melatonin too- maybe. I doubt it would ever get to that but I can't know that for sure. These things are all just dealing with symptoms. Uncomfortable, difficult to live with symptoms. But if you sit on the symptoms, make the symptoms go away temporarily for the sake of comfort- without dealing with the cause- the underlying discordance in the system- eventually a different symptom will manifest and then another medication will be prescribed. I just think its sad.

It seem "young" nowadays to have kids in your early twenties- as if you shoudl wait till you are more mature, had more life experiences etc- but really, you are at your fertile peak then. Dh's mum had hi, when she was 21, my um had me when she was 21, and her mum had her when she was 21- it was normal back then to start young. I am 43 and if I got pregnant (not happening ) I would consider myself an older mum, for sure. But now that i am here- I think being an older mum would really have some advantages. I like myself nowadays :) I had my 2 in my late twenties and that was probably ideal for me. But most people I know who have kids similar ages to mine, are older than me, and had their kids through their thirties. I feel like a "young" mum of teenagers and am often told I look too young to have teenagers, but I think it is all relative.

Yeah, I dont really leave much space for negativity- I give out a vibe of "I am so enthralled with what I am doing here, I am really not looking for your acceptance or not". I did get one lot of negativity from our neighbour, a retired school teacher, years ago. Our conversation seemed to be going well but then he just made a very negative remark about how kids need to be in school for highschool for the social aspect. I dropped the subject quickly and moved on- we are not close neighbours but I wasnt going to fall out over that one. ANd he can have an opinion if he wants, even if it is based on complete ignorance :) But I think I might be a bit like your dh says you are- I just dont notice when people are being judgemental or negative mostly. I just act like they are friendly and open, even when they aren't, and they quite often live up to my expectations :)

Lol, yes, they have all sorts of interesting stands on things- but I don't have a problem with communism either as an influence on things- not sure i want to go all the way because that doesn't look so good in other countries, but the idealism of it has some good points. I might be a socialist at heart if I could be bothered studying it and understanding it better.

Maybe its partly because kids don't really see their parents working much- at home. They go "away" to work and when at home, they do some housework but they are likely to also be watching TV, playing on the computer etc. Farmkids would know about work- they would be far more int touch with it, immersed in a lifestyle where physical labour is a normal part of life. If you live in the city, it usually isn't- and mental work is probably too abstract for kids to grasp as "work". I was watching a show yesterday where some Amish teenagers were taken to London and spent some time with some typical London teenagers. It was very shocking to them- but the bit that relayl caught my eye was that when the London teens were all sitting around playing computer games- the AMish kids got really bored and just wanted to go outside and "do" something. To them work was not a bad concept. I dont think you can blame anyone really- we buy dishwashers, electric mixers and sewing machines, and packet foods....we short cut every experience of "work" that we can, then we go out and pay for experiences like learning to sew or spin or cook because we don't know how, and they seem creative. We sit at computers all day in offices- how is that "work" in any really healthy sense of the word? SOme traditional cultures dont even have a separate word for "work" in their language. Work is just life, not separate form life- yet our culture does everything it can to make life easier and easier but then people aren't happy anyway, and they have to go to work for 10 hours a day to pay for the car and the house and the electric work-savers. Its all screwy. I think we live in strange times, disconnected times, and the young are just struggling to find a way to live. They probably need to see their elders model a healthy way to live- but theres not a lot of that around either.

I have no idea but I identify with that neo-romantic world view. And I thought I was so unique and all but they have even invented a fancy name for me :)

I am more inclined not to give anything, myself. Planes nowadays have great entertainment systems. Do they normally have trouble sleeping? I have never given my kids any kind of tranquilliser apart from breast milk when they were little, but there has just been no need so I might not be the person to ask!

Lol. Our snake escaped last week too. Monty the Python. He had just eaten a small rat for teh first time and we thought he woudl sleep for a month- instead he made his way out of a previously inescapable cage due to newfound physical strength. We really thought we had lost him this time, but 2 days ago, a week after he disappeared- he appear in my bedroom poised to strike at the cat who was licking his lips, from behind my wash basket. We were thrilled and he is back in his cage trying to escape.

Not so much teA here but we both seem to be fine with it and spend a lot of time together, have spas together daily (just bought a new spa), and love having adventures together- just not a lot of teA. I know it's really important to some couples but I think neither of us have a lot of spare energy and we pace ourselves. TeA feels far too energetic most of the time :) Btw, I think some people entered this thread without quite understanding the analogy, but it was very interesting to try and work out what they were saying and trying to give it a whole other meaning when I think they were just talking about plain old tea, anyway :) But then, maybe i am wrong about that and just don't get what they were saying.

I have one like this- he is 15 now and is actually much better. He changed about age 15 I think :) The thing is, you usually can't reason with a kid like that, especially that young, so after trying *very* briefly to rationalise with him, I would stop that strategy, try the hugging and connecting strategy, and if that didn't work- particularly if it made it worse- then I would disengage so as not to feed the monster. I would extricate myself, and go and do something like make a cup of tea :) Thats pretty much how I still handle it. However i am learning a new strategy- which I have also used for years at times but am now more consciously doing so- and that is just listening without trying to reason and rationalise. Just listen and maybe reflect back (called active listening). Sometimes, they just need to be heard, even if they don't make sense. But thats not the right thing for every situation- many times I am just irritated and don't have the patience to do that anyway. But if its a strong issue, I might, and it can be effective, particularly if you "tune out" a lot. Honestly, ds15 could not play board games with the rest of the family until- well now- because he would get so emotional. And there was nothing we could do. So he would leave in a tantrum and we would just continue without him. There is only so much you can do.

My limit for meat and most leftovers is 3 days and I consider myself fairly liberal in such matters! I wouldn't eat meat that had been cooked on Monday, on Friday, unless it has been frozen in the meantime.

We found that online gaming triggered the addictive pattern far more seriously than playing from a CDRom and not being online. We banned online gaming- the effect on ds was seriously disturbing. His friends still did it- we know he probably got on at their places sometimes- but we let some of the parents know he was banned at home. Over a period of a few months, some of his friends' parents also banned it. Sometimes I think parents don't want to be the bad parent and be the "only parent in the world" who bans these things in their home, since "every other kids on the planet" is allowed to play them. But take a stand and that might give another parent the courage to, also. He got over it. He played other games and now hardly plays any games. Now he is just addicted to social networking- Facebook mainly. Grrr.

I am not so interested in politics- I have taken to voting extreme greenie left just to get them more votes, not because I agree with everything they say or do. It's all about balance- I want their voice heard. But people on these boards seem to take their politics with...a sort of religious fervour :) I guess that is one thing Aussies are known for- their general apathy and laissez faire attitude, especially towards their own politicians. To us they are just like the bloke next door and they had better not think they are any better. But I always have to work out what people here mean by liberal- because our "Liberal party" is our slightly right of left party and our "Labour" party is our slightly left of right party- the two main parties- neither of which are any better than the other and they are pretty much the same. So when you guys say liberal I have to remember you mean liberal as in something like : Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry. b. Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded. c. Of, relating to, or characteristic of liberalism. d. Liberal Of, designating, or characteristic of a political party founded on or associated with principles of social and political liberalism, especially in Great Britain, Canada, and the United States. which sounds pretty good but is anything but our Liberal party. I hope speaking Aussie politics- about which I care little - doesn't go against the board rules.