No, I don't share much because I live so far away and when I do share I want it to be generally positive. But I dont "lean" on my extended family much for support at all so I wouldn't vent many problems to them in general.

I would too- for myself- but have found some skins react severely to 100%.

I don't qualify to answer but I will anyway :) I was sure I would have a boy with my first. So sure that we had boy names picked out. We felt this little being was so strong it had to be male (hows that for sexist :) ? ). I was only psychologically prepared for a boy. I felt comfortable having a boy. When she was born I was blown away because I was never a girly girl and it seemed to alien to me to have a girl. It turns out she is very very strong, and very gentle, and capable of being both a tom boy (co-ed Scouts is her thing) and very girly girl. It has been healing for me and I am much more honouring of my femininity because of her. And when my boy came along next he turned out to be highly emotional and clingy and all those stereotypes of the worst female characteristics! My boy clung to me for years. He's the manipulative one. But still all boy. I have 2 friends with only 2 girls each and neither wishes for boys. They turn up in droves when the girls hit their teens anyway :)

Eliminate dairy completely and be very strict about any other possible allergens you suspect. Dairy is very associated with repeated ear infections and fluid, and can make a huge difference. I agree with the grapefruit extract. Dont put tea tree in straight- dilute with olive oil. Warm anything you put in the ear. (not hot of course). But I wouldn't use these things unless there is an actual infection- you don't need to increase the fluid levels in there. If there is just fluid, gentle massage is the best option to help it drain. Boost the immune system- kids echinacea drops are good, or any other immune boosting formula. My daughter has fluid in her ears at times- she calls it "wet ears". She uses cotton buds to help drain them but she notices that they come when the weather is damper- they just came back as the autumn rains started here. She has never actually had an ear infection.

I think there is a big difference between The Hobbit (which apparently was written for Tolkein's kids when they were quite young- 5 or 6 I think) and LOTR, which is more of an adult book. We read LOTR as a family when ds was 11 and dd12/13. We did the Literary Lessons with LOTR English program and read the book over the year. It was a great year. But while I know many families have read it to younger kids, I am glad mine weren't any younger than they were. And there are some long, heavy going chapters in LOTR. I don't think I would have got through it myself if it weren't for reading it to the kids.

I've never used missing a social event as a consequence for bad behaviour. I generally deal with things very quickly or give a consequence that is directly related to the behaviour. For example, ds stays on the computer too long- he gets less time the next night. Even that is only something I have instigated recently. If he talks badly to me- I might speak strongly to him about it- but it will be dealt with then and there. I cant stand dragging out punishments to "later". Dh is bad at it too- he tries to withdraw pocket money but then cant remember what he was upset about and gives it all to them anyway. We really try and get whatever needs dealing with, sorted out and dealt with so that we can all get on with our life freshly, without punishments having over us or them. I cant imagine taking a kid to a game and trying to make them feel guilty by not allowing them to play, or giving them the guilt trip in the car there and back. I just cant hang onto anything that long- the game is fresh and new and the past is the past. If ds and I don't get on- and we have our issues- we work it out with comunication and getting to the bottom of it- generally, within a short time. We do do punishment at times- but its rare nowadays.

I was in a tea shop today and I heard one of the assistants tell a customer "oh no, you really shouldn't drink green tea with any sweetener." So, there you go :) I wish I could like green tea but I cant. Unless I am at a Chinese restaurant when it always tastes good. But I cant get it to taste good. I drink naturally low caffeine Australian black tea with milk and stevia - 2 cups every morning. I am definitely addicted to it- its the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning :) Herbal teas- I drink dandelion coffee, which is really a tea, with milk and stevia, and also rooibos tea with milk and stevia. I have a cup or two in the afternoon- I dont have anything with caffeine beyond mid morning. Other herbal teas like peppermint, which I only have occasionally, I can have without sweetener or with honey.

Christina- could you check that link? Its not working for me. thanks And thanks for your input- I knew you were around somewhere.

WHen my kids were little and i heard about homeschooling, dh was in total ridicule of the idea. The kids went to school. When ds was 7 and dd was 9, dh and I were separated- living separately, but still giving our marriage a go. I decided during that time that I wanted to homeschool ds7 because he was struggling badly at school and really stressing out. I guess I had an advantage because dh was really trying to woo and please me at that time :) but I still had to work hard to convince him. I printed off a lot of stuff from the internet and put it on his kitchen table. I kept researching. I was determined but I needed him on board because i was working part time and he needed to take ds7 2 mornings a week (he worked from home). He agreed reluctantly to a 6 month trial period. Within 2-3 weeks he was so convinced that homeschooling was the best thing ever, he insisted we take our dd9 out of school too, although she was happy there. He recognised the lifestyle benefits, and he could see I was devoted to making it work, and he saw it would be too hard to have one at school and one at home. It has been the best thing for her too. Within a few weeks I had moved back in with him, too :) I guess what it took in our case was our son to struggle at school and for his self confidence to plummet. When he came home and dh had him those 2 mornings a week- ds became a gorgeous, sweet natured, curious boy again and it was like black and white- that is what convinced dh. He saw how much we lose our kids to school, how their natures change and get jaded by it at such a young age.

Do you go straight from TV or the computer, to bed? I find if I don't "wind down" before bed I wake up overstimulated in the morning. Meditation can be useful, or having a bath, to help slow down the mind and help it let go of the day, before drifting into sleep. I notice the quality of my sleep is much deeper and more restful when I am relaxed before I fall asleep, rather than still a bit wired. Going from "busy" to bed is not good for me. I need a transition period. Also, meditation is a way to sit and let your subconscious tell you stuff, so it doesn't have to do it in your sleep, through dreams.

Aahh! I getcha. There are three basic constitutional energies in Ayureda- Vata, Pitta and Kapha. We are all a combination of all 3 in various amounts, and usually primarily one and to a lesser extent a 2nd. There are various quizzes online you can take to see what constitution you are. I am a Pitta/Vata. Conditions/diseases etc can manifest differently too. So I am not really sure of the differences between pitta and vata candidiasis, but I understand the concept to some extent. The "qualities" of vata are dry, cold, rough, changeable, light (think of winter,autumn, or a person who is skinny and tall and intellectual). Pitta qualities are hot, oily, sharp, burning (think of summer, and a person who is of medium build, pale to ruddy skin, overheats easily, athletic, irritable). Kapha qualities are cold, oily, heavy, soft, sweet, slippery...think of a plump, jolly person with soft smooth skin, and the moist season of spring. But how all that relates to candida is beyond me, unless you are just treating the constitution of the person- so if its a vata person, you treat them as having vata candida, which is how I felt to take it, not having any further information. It can get complicated :) A vata person can be overweight and have a kapha imbalance. A solid kapha person can be quite healthy carrying some weight, and will look more natural with it. I tend to wonder if candida is actually a kapha issue, but you know, I dont want to confuse anyone more than they (and I) already am :) I do think one of the links I gave Negin was interesting though- that Indian people tend not to get candida possibly because they eat a lot of spicy food. The spices have all sorts of healing qualities, even though they are used in cooking, and might keep candida at bay.

Do we confess because we feel secretly guilty? Otherwise, why confess? I confess I dont feel guilty- not in the sense that I feel the need to confess. I know I am pretty much doing my best, even if it doesn't look like it to anyone else.

Indiana Jones- Indi for short.

At that age, around 8.30 or so. The reason being...I am a morning person. I couldn't homescool and have kids sleeping in late. We had to start first thing and work all morning- by afternoon I was a wreck.

I say be yourself. But I have had to teach myself to be social too- I learned to ask questions- to talk about myself but also to bounce the conversation back and forth so that both of us are sharing something about ourselves (I am really not that interested in one sided conversations, either side), and to be present for the other person so that they can genuinely share. I am not interested in small talk- but even small talk can lead to interesting conversations. You have to start somewhere. Last year I read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (cos I thought it might be good for my son, but he clearly doesn't need it as much as I do :) ) , and I was really surprised by it. It is good information and not about manipulating or sales stuff...it is genuine. I enjoyed it. (I didnt like the title and it put me off for years, but the information is excellent).

As an adult, there are some books I like to have around- mainly reference types books in my area of passion, health- but I have deliberately tried to overcome my attachment to books in general. I have been moving towards "minimalism" in general. I just try to remember that I can go and get the book anytime I like- I don't like to have thousands of books in my house, though I have plenty. For my kids- yes, I understand that attachment to the book thing. I think its probably stronger for some kids, and at some ages. Mine both have a few books on their shelves that they are attached to the memory of reading. But I also like to encourage a gentle "letting go " mentality overall rather than attachment- discernment at least. But...whatever it takes to keep a kid reading. I woulnd't go to the extreme of buying everything- its good to use the library and its good that kids learn to gently let go of books too- after all, they can get it back again another time- but at the same time- when kids love to read and re-read books over and over, its natural to have those books around.

I am on the no medication side of the story. Dh is ADHD. Stepdd22 is ADHD. She was medicated against her father's will and it did not help her school results although it made her more compliant and easy to be around. She now suffers from anxiety and OCD, badly, and is an alcoholic. She herself feels it is all related to being medicated all her teen years. There was never any consideration that ds15 would go on any meds. He does not have such extreme symptoms as his dad and sister, but I had to sit with him to get him to focus for years and years and he was always behind. He is now at school and its hard for him. And that's ok with us all. He is now mature enough to find ways to handle it and learn. I am more of the approach that they need to learn how to live as they are and school results are not the be all and end all of life and should not be the deciding factor of whether a kid goes on psychotropic, brain chemistry altering meds. My son is not a brilliant scholar by any means but he has many other qualities which will bear him through his life. Dh feels it is his ADHD which made him a successful entrepreneur /businessman and then later therapist. He is unusual, earns money in unusual ways, and thinks differently to most people. He was expelled from highschool! He believes he was made the way he was for a reason and accepts himself as he is and is extremely anti medication- and I can assure you he is an extreme case. His childhood was rough though. I know my position is unpopular with those who choose to medicate but I wanted to express it too. And I am not judging every single individual- but I do judge a society that wants to medicate its kids because of how they handle their schoolwork. If school results are the be all and end all of a successful life, then drugs may be the answer for many people- and i understand everyone is doing what they feels is right for them. But thats not our approach.

:iagree: Its hard to say....for us, we would probably do whatever we could just to buy a cheap car, but we would sell something...we wouldn't go into debt. DH promised dd16 a trip to Paris a couple of years ago- for her 16th birthday. Just before things went downhill financially. Its been a struggle but they are going in a couple of weeks- it has taken that long to get the money and appropriate time together. Dh has apologised to me- he recognises it was a mistake to promise such a thing before the money was actually there- but he still wanted to follow through with it. I am ok with it- I want her to have the experience. We are not going in debt for it but it hasnt been easy. But it does leave the question of what to do with ds. We simply cant afford to offer him something as expensive. I dont think he expects it either- and we havent promised it- but it has been a concern of mine that he feel neglected because of the whole thing. I am sure it will balance out in the long run though.

Hi Denise. The two most accesible ayurvedic websites that i am familiar with are: LifeSpa by John Douillard (which has many excellent articles on it) and maybe the mapi.com website (Maharishi) although I think that is more about selling products than education, it does do both. Also Deepak Chopra's book Perfect Health is excellent and may be in your library system. I checked out his website and its not so good on educating either. I am not sure what you meant by the candida name change? (maybe a spelling error?) There are herbs used for memory and I have seen many herbal mixtures in health food stores for memory. Ginkgo Biloba is the most well known one. Brahmi is an ayurveda herb used to treat memory issues and increase brain function. Its often about getting circulation into the brain and basically improving general circulation, but things like anti oxidants are considered important too. But I cant really offer anything more specific- I would be just googling which you can do too.

Hi Denise- what diet/procedure did you follow before, that worked for you? Yes, to me it looks overwhelming too, if you are not at least somewhat familiar with ayurveda in the first place. It's only one approach. I think it would be a lot of research if you weren't in a research type of mood. Sometimes its just easier to go to a practitioner and be told what to do, rather than work it out for yourself. Or do what worked for you before. Or find an approach that looks doable to you. Some of us are just research nuts :)

Short Home Cleanse Self massage No, I didn't use an enema but I didn't feel I needed to- I do have an enema contraption at home and have certainly used it before when I didn't feel things were moving properly. No, an enema is not hard to do- they would come with instructions. But it's probably not necessary with the oleation. I am not sure what else to say- I am by no means an ayurveda expert- I have just read the most popular books on the subject- the more "westernised" ones- and practiced on myself. I have a book called Ayurvedic Home Remedies by Vasant Lad but it doest have Candida in it. It might not be a traditionally recognised disease, since it is more of a modern western diet invoked issue. To me the beauty of ayurveda though is bringing the whole body back into balance- not so much attacking a condition in isolation although that can be part of any treatment. So its about daily and seasonal routines and attending to your individual constitution. It's a lifestyle. When the treatment is worse than the disease- which it sounded like your dh's candida treatment was- it seems too extreme to me- and a vata constitution needs a certain nourishment and nurturing, especially with oils. But really- I am not an ayurvedic expert- nor am I trying treat your dh over the internet at all- I am just sharing information that might be useful. I am not familiar enough with the herbs- I am more familiar with western herbs. ETA: Here is another website with basic information for westerners- the Maharishi Ayurveda people- and here is a short response to a question on candida: Candida

THe kids (teens) and I have enjoyed it but no I would not think it was appropriate for a 10yo. There is a lot of teen romance in it.

silverfish? Are they common in the U.S.? We get them here- they make those little holes when they eat the fabric. We use mothballs or the equivalent to keep them away.

Lol, love your enthusiasm, Negin. I am not sure of sources for you but I have used Himalaya brand ayurvedic herbs before with success. They are well known and I have bought them online. I would mainly treat him as a vata ...and I don't think you need to do everything below. I woudl definitely do the oleation/purgation. I did it recently- but I did do it along with a gentle cleansing diet- it is after all a cleanse. I feel it worked well. I got the cleanse from here: lifespa.com/article.aspx?art_id=59 but you know I am not sure how "literal" you are, Negin and if that will just overwhelm you. I tend to just use what I have on hand and am not so good at following all the details. In this case, I love kitchari so I ate that- I used lots of turmeric- but I didnt use the other herbs. But I did do the oleation. I will respond in....pink? :) I am just trying to simplify it for you since its a lot of information and strange sounding herbs. Also, your poor dh has already been through a very rigorous and tortuous anti candida program- he needs something less arduous! The oleation feels good- and to balance Vata its great to do daily abhyangha- use sesame or coconut oil massaged into the skin all over. I love it. It is very calming and soothing to vata especially. Here is a link but it makes it seem more complicated than it really is :) lifespa.com/article.aspx?art_id=54 You could also do it for him :) I just want to emphasise that if he is using common sense with his diet, and if he does just some of the above- particularly after the program he has been on- he will probably keep healing. He doesn't need to take 15 different herbs etc Not sure what else to add without overwhelming you with more info.

Love it! :iagree: