I had bleeding with both mine too- all was well. I have heard it can especially happen when your period was due- the hormones can kind of try. I didnt want to disturb you by adding a contrary opinion in the other thread- but I would not have gone to the ER as I do not think there is much they can do, and i would find the stress of leaving the house until such a situation to be worse than doing nothing and staying home and resting. What will be, will be. I am kind of like your midwife though- fairly calm in all situations, and trust that most of the time, it's ok. And, our ERs sound much better than yours! And they are free. Last week my dh had to take ds15 to the ER because I refused. Ds had hurt his foot in gymnastics and dh thought it might be broken. He has done it twice before, and each time, there was a small fracture and all they did was bandage it and send us home, saying to stay off it as long as it hurt. So, I wasnt going through hours and hours for that, again. Dh did instead- because he is far, far more fear based, worst case scenario focused than I am. And there wasnt even a fracture this time, and even the doctor was reluctant to xray. I have a good mummy instinct and I don't make dramas where I feel they are not needed. Thats not to say others don't need to do what they do....but, trust yourself.

Very common here in Australia. No way would I have got a tubal myself but especially because I was only 28 when dh got a V and he was 42- he was ready for the decision, I was not. I am one of those people who are happy that times change in so many ways, and finds the fact that people freely talk about such things, and especially that men joke about them with each other (rather than the stoic silence of years gone), to be a GOOD thing, a sign of moving on, maturity, not a sign of fallen values.

I know that is logical, but perhaps the 16yo young woman is wanting to make a point of wanting some autonomy from her parents and its more of a power struggle than a rational one. I know that happens here frequently- they just want what they want, because they want it.

I am going camping tomorrow. In my camper. It feels like cheating but I don't care :) Actually I am going to a folk music festival. My favourite item to pack is earplugs and an eye mask. I like sleep.

I am no expert on them. There is a lot of scepticism about them but if you have ever had a session- it feels very calming and good, for some reason. And for some people it has unblocked years of congestion, ear wax, and helped people hear better- lots of anecdotal cases. My son in particular loves them. I cant say its ever really made a difference for me but I have never really had problems (I was just trying it to see how it felt!). As for why it might help deeper congestion- anything that helps unblock the outer canals is going to change the air pressure, maybe help drainage etc. But honestly, I cant say I have seen any scientific studies, if thats what you want. But it's harmless done occasionally and perhaps worth a try since it obviously does help some cases- and a great novelty too for a sick kid, I must add. Just a suggestion.

Welcome from another Aussie! I am have finished my homeschooling journey (although sometimes helping with homework feels like I am still homeschooling), but I am addicted to these boards anyway. They were such a lifeline during my years of homeschooling. It's a great community here and there are a few other Aussies here too. So dive right in!

I believe ADD/ADHD is extremely over diagnosed. It is a set of symptoms- it is unverifiable from a blood test like most if not all psychiatric illnesses, which is why many people feel it is not a real disease or condition, but it is made up by psychiatrists so that they can treat a certain set of symptoms with psychiatric drugs- no matter what the cause of those symptoms. If there was no official diagnosis, there could be no prescription. They go together. It wasnt a disease that was recognised last century, because it isn't actually a disease. There are no antibodies. The symptoms are the diagnosis- the cause of those symptoms is lumped under the title "ADHD" when it could be many things- nutritional, family environment, environmental toxins, allergies, and ineffective parenting- that lead to those symptoms (and I completely get that even with all those ruled out, some kids do benefit from the drugs). I live in a city that has the highest rate of ADHD in the world and where prescriptions for it are handed out more than anywhere else in the world. I strongly believe it is over diagnosed and I do empathise with both people with out of control kids that have tried everything (within their world view) but also with people who feel it does not really exist. But I will get flamed for that, I am sure. I do have a stepdd and a dh with supposed ADHD (and a son who may have been eventually dx but for whom homeschooling was the cure) so I am not completely ignorant.

:iagree: Too many limits can backfire.

Eliminate dairy and wheat. Have you ever tried ear candles? They are getting more common here. My kids love them- they feel really good. They are a tube you place gently in the ear, patient lying in their side, and the top is lit while someone holds it upright. It creates a drawing and warming effect that feels very soothing and can melt and draw guck out of the ear canal. It is quite safe when done by an adult.

:iagree: It's just not my business.

My system: Lots of baskets. Everyone has one in their room and their clothes, and their clothes only, go into that basket. When the basket is full, that basket gets washed. If there are any delicates or whites they get put separately in the laundry to be dealt with, but generally, all clothes get washed together on cold wash. I have had very few colour bleeding incidents over the years. Maybe we just dont buy clothes that bleed colours. I wash lights with darks unless there is enough for 2 loads in which case I will separate them. It's never been a problem- on a cold wash. I also use minimal powder. That load gets hung on racks (we have a large laundry with 4 racks)- we don't have a dryer. Its takes about 24 hours to dry. Then that rack of dry clothes goes back into the basket and taken back to that person's bedroom where it is put away (hopefully by them but often by me). In the past, clothes would be hung outside, but the birds get to them here. By keeping the washing separated by person I save a whole stage of the process- sorting. I keep a basket for ironing but rarely iron. Towels, sheets etc get done separately, obviously, usually once a week or so. Most days I try and do a wash. I try not to let it build up- its just 10 minutes a day or so of passing things onto the next stage. I remember pre-Flylady, I would have a mountain of unsorted, washed clothes all the time and it would be so daunting to go in there and sort out the pile, that generally everyone would just go and get what they needed from the pile. That hasn't happened for years now, though.

Not so much politeness specifically, but people have often been taken by the mature, open and direct way they interact with adults in general and have often commented on what great kids they are. It does seem to be a common trait in homeschoolers to actually be able to relate to adults well, especially looking them in the eye. Maybe its what they don't learn- playground behaviour- more than what they do learn- because I haven't done anything specific to make my kids good communicators.

That definitely sounds like perfectionisms. A good way to deal with that, I find, is to imagine what is the worst thing that could happen in the circumstance. In your case, it might be hardly anyone turning up and very few sales. Can you allow yourself to imagine that and find a way to be ok with it- be ok with failure- so that you can then have a sense of play about it and keep it in perspective? I think we have a bit of a problem with failure in our society- as if, somehow, failure at something is so shameful. Bot really, its just life- failure is a normal part of life. If it doesn't work...well, it really is ok. I had to go through that last year when I ran some classes and hardly anyone turned up. It was intense for my ego :) But what to do. I still learned a lot from the whole experience.

Just because one does not relate to someone's joy at not having to worry about conception any more....can one not simply understand where they are coming from, anyway, and be happy for them? It is a relief for many women not to have that concern or anxiety in the back of their minds each month- what a burden to carry, if they are done having children for whatever reason (that is none of my business). Is there no room for understanding the freedom and relief of the woman and her partner- a relief I have felt myself and taken for granted for years now, although I also would have liked more children- or is it so important to be a sour, wet blanket on other people's cause for celebration- and their openness in sharing? Can we not at least be happy for other people's happiness, or can we only be happy for them if we agree with them and everything they do? I have no problem with people sharing such conversations with me, even if I barely know them. They are just sharing themselves, their life with me. I hope my approval or disapproval is completely irrelevant to them.

I consider 16 plenty old enough to have considerable privacy from one's parents- a basic sense that their life is their own, not to be controlled at their parent's whim. My 16yo dd is a young adult and is pretty much treated as such. Dh and I have discussed recently how we need to let go even more and treat her even more as a young woman rather than a child. I guess she has earned that much respect from us, though- she is mature and reasonable. I do get concerned sometimes at how many homeschool parents (some I know IRL) do not allow their children- or teens- to have a private world from their parents. I consider it an important part of a child's wellbeing to have some privacy and autonomy. However, every home is different and kids are all different and I treat my ds15 differently from my dd16. We are friends with both our kids on Facebook- that is enough monitoring for us. We do not know their passwords and never have, but we don't really have much reason not to trust that they will basically do the right thing, either- even though sometimes we have stepped in. You have a parenting issue here - I know how annoying it is to have the other parent not on side. I did recently downloaded a Facebook blocking program for our ds15, to make sure he was getting off it at a reasonable hour at nightime ( I tend to be a bit sleep obsessed for my teens). Ds15 is savvy with computers and disengaged the program in minutes. Dh laughed at how quickly ds could disengage the program. I gave up- i was annoyed, but then I just surrendered. It's time ds15 learned to monitor his own habits anyway. I do try and limit the rules and restrictions, because the more there are, the more there will be rebellion about them. Only decades ago 16yos were commonly married, working etc. We now treat them like children. I am with your dh on this one. But I empathise with the frustration of having the other parent not back you up, especially when you agreed on it before. As for the cuss word- we would not consider that a bad one.

I think it is largely personality, but there is hope for everyone :) I have found that when I put a big fat "should" onto myself it makes me not want to do something. And when I allow myself to wait till I am in the right mood- rather than forcing myself to do something when I don't feel like it- it is more likely to happen. Telling myself the kitchen should be clean all the time is shoulding on myself. But if I wait till I am in the mood- it happens. Its not always clean- but it gets clean most days, and i usually even enjoy cleaning it. Taking on jobs I don't resonate with, that I don't really want to do in the first place, is not something I do much anymore. I do things because I want to do them, because I feel energy for them- and i know myself well enough nowadays not to take on jobs I wont want to do next week. So is the book sale something you want to do, really? Or something you felt you "should" do? When I am dreading a job that I really feel I need to do, or it is a step to something I want such as a clean cupboard- I make myself do it for 10 minutes or 15 minutes. It's usually enough to make a momentum that gets me going. BUt I give myself permission to stop after the time is up, too. And do it again the next day- just 10 or 15 minutes. Babysteps. Its how I turned from being a messy procrastinator to a pretty organised person. But, I still dont do anything I really dont want to do. Life is too short and I would rather put my skills and time to things that float my boat.

I would not have vaccinated at all. Dh was very strongly into selective, delayed vaccination, so I did do it. IN my case, I just felt instinctively that my kids would be fine with vaccinations- especially as they were still breastfeeding at the well over 12 months each of them received them. I think we did the standard MMR, polio, tetanus, pertussis when they were over a year old. Again when they were a few years old. When they were around 12 I was influenced to give them hep B which I regretted but then, what the heck- they are both healthy kids and have never got a reaction from any vaccines. They also got a tetanus booster. My doctor tested their antibodies for MMR and they were still positive- good doctor in that respect- she didnt want to vaccinate them unnecessarily. She is a selective vaccinator herself and her son is the same age as my dd. The only thing I regret with my dd is having her vaccinated for measles. If she had had measles instead, she would be able to pass the antibodies to her breastfed child. Vaccinations do not allow viable antibodies to pass through breastmilk. And measles is not generally too bad a disease. ALthough- I did have to really force my kids to get chickenpox when they were 11/12 by making them play with a kid who had it- because I felt they were getting too old not to have had it. My older was pretty sick with it. They don't tend to get sick easily so maybe its good they were vaccinated since they probably wouldnt have got it as kids, naturally. The thing with vaccinations is....****ed if you do and ****ed if you dont. I probably am more inclined not to vaccinate- dh was more inclined to, but definitely not in that first year when their immune system is just building. We never bothered with the latest ones. But my kids, my situation. I knew they had healthy immune systems and my mother's instinct has always told me either way is fine for them. They can handle the vaccines. No matter how much research you do, its hard to settle with this issue 100%, so there is risk involved either way. Its worth researching what they do in other countries. The U.S. seems to give their kids a lot more standard vaccinations than many other countries, without consideration for the effect on the immune system of receiving so many.

A good multivitamin? Make sure she is well organised? Organisation can cut hours of time that might be otherwise wasted. If she is type A she might actually do better than her brother and thrive on the stress to some extent.

I read about it and it made sense. There is the common thought to take one month off from any school type work, for every year the kid has been in school- in order for them to relax and unwind from the stress of school and perhaps to recover their own natural enjoyment of learning. However I was in a particular situation where my 7yo didnt want to do any schoolwork and was very uncooperative AND I had to prove to his dad in 6 months that I could teach him. I didn't have the luxury of taking time off. And I came across a comment made by a veteran unschooler here in Australia who actually said it might be best to start homeschooling as you intend to continue. As in, if you intend to use books, start with them. That felt more realistic for my situation- so we started with an hour of desk work, an hour of read alouds, and the rest of the day for unwinding and play and park days and zoo days etc. When my dd came home she was 9 and the 2 weeks of school holidays were all the time off that she got. I think , as with all things homeschooling and otherwise- learn to trust yourself. Your kids might really need some time off- or you might need to move into a structure, as I did. Either way, you are bound to have more free time if they are young, than they had at school. Mine have gone back to school and are disappointed with how much less free time they have now. (They are actually appreciating holidays for the first time).

I would expect those sorts of comments here in Australia- but I thought homeschooling was much more common and well known over there? Obviously not as much as I thought! Very funny though. I have found that people presume that we get all our books etc from the education dept and we do the same as the local schools. The idea that we can actually choose our own curriculum, subjects etc and only get checked on once a year- that just blows peoples' little institutionalised minds! Really- how did we as a culture get to the point where we cant even conceive that parents can teach their kids to read and write etc?

I find it s very interesting topic too. I mean, we are really a rare and privileged generation to even be able to consider having so much choice available to us, and such a high % of our children surviving. Mrs Mungo just covered a lot of what I was going to say about contraceptions, abortificants etc I imagine it varied between cultures too- even how aware they were of their cycles. I am not sure if men wandering was any different from it is now. It seems to be something built in by nature to keep the gene pool as wide and varied as possible. Supposedly a full 10% of children born today do not have the father they are told they have. We might do it less openly? Or not. In a society where women are not considered equal- and most societies of the last 2000 years or more have been patriarchal- and where the survival of the individual depended on its connection to the village, the family, the group- I guess women would have generally accepted whatever cultural normalities they were brought up in. I have always wondered how they really handled it, though. I do think they had less expectation of personal fulfilment, the way we expect nowadays. We expect a lot. But when you are one step away from survival mode all the time, I guess life is different.

How many pages back is 2 years? I can't get past page 5 on a good day!

I dont see my spirituality as a social thing, although there are social events I include myself in. It is a highly personal thing- the most improtnat thing in my life. I would not accept even my husband, let alone anyone else, interfering with my spirituality or trying to influence me without being invited. It is way too personal. Since we both feel the same, and hold each other in respect around it, it hasn't been an issue- but we would not think of compromising with anyone else.

I didnt realise it was so common either- but a thread here a few years ago informed me it was quite common :) I also associated it with porn, and with child porn in particular- (because it seems to me that if a man wanted a hairless woman what he might really want was a child rather than a woman) but i am sure that thought would horrify many. As a natural blonde with minimal body hair, I am obviously ignorant. I don't dye, I shave my legs once a month, and I never touch- as in thin- my carpet! But I don't know what I would do if I was more luxuriously endowed!

:lol::lol: Yes, except it was cantaloupe sized here....I really don't think men are so cut out for pain! My dh became a Trekkie because of those weeks in bed though, which wasn't such a bad thing :)