Although I never probably consciously thought of myself as a Christian, I was sent to a Christian private school and Sunday School because my mother considered herself Christian until later in life. Dad never did- very atheist. At the Christian Girls School I remember feeling very in love with Jesus, and that I wanted to be like Jesus- I was probably around 9 when that happened. I would say by the time I was 12, my faith had been completely destroyed- the hypocrisy and meanness and patronising attitude of the adults around me, who I could see very well were not walking the talk at all, just disillusioned me. I felt like such a fish out of water there. I could never buy into the beliefs after that- they just seemed like things people choose to believe rather than anything that was self evident, and its been like that ever since. I couldn't see why the Christians would be any more right than the Muslims or the Hindus- it seemed to me to be just wherever you were born, thats the beliefs you took on, and that didn't hold water for me.

My first introduction to the *concept* of homeschooling was at a very alternative, John Holt type playgroup. When several years later I decided to homeschool, before I was plugged into the community here, the first homeschoolers we met- literally on our first day, in the park near our house, by coincidence- were Scientologists! They have their own homeschooling community- completely separate from everyone else- yet they welcomed us into their weekly park day for sport, for 6 months, just from meeting my son and I in the park. Thats just plain friendly! I noticed the community here is flooding with fresh energy, as I was leaving it. The old people who used to run the various groups were moving on- mostly fundamentalist Christians- I was a definite minority in the years I was involved, as a secular person. And many of the new people are secular, and are demanding that activities cater to secular folk- science classes with evolution etc . It looked healthy to me. Supply and demand, basically.

Negin, another approach is the Body Ecology diet by Donna Gates. bodyecology.com It is all about healing from candida and has a lot of information.

Its definitely where you are coming from rather than how it appears. Its an issue I have had to work on in myself- there were areas I did not respect my dh and I had to train myself to because in some areas, it didn't come naturally. I think coming from a line of feminist women who were generally disappointed in their men influenced me and I have had to consciously overcome an underlying disrespect.

I put the oxygen mask on ME first. I take care of myself- food, diet, quiet time, time outs, walks, naps, coffee with a friend, counselling, whatever it takes to bring my life into balance on any level. Then I am at my best to take care of the kids. With pms, I needed to take extra care of myself. Now that I have stopped homeschooling and am having quite a break- I am realising what hard work homeschooling was, even when I was sitting doing not much while they were working. It's an ongoing responsibly and it's work and its exhausting month after month. Thats why we burn out and also get snippy.

Yes, I would give thanks- not to the specifically Christian God, but to the Creator of the universe and every one of us, which I call different things on different days- Existence, Nature, God, Great Spirit, The Great Mother.

I think my dh would probably do a good job, as those men in the article did. But he also likes my dress style as it is- he sometimes comments how much he likes the way I dress- so it's not really an issue. Lol, to all of you who say their dh's would dress them like hookers. I guess my dh likes the black leather look a lot more than me, but that's about it. Whats interesting though is how self critical we women can be about our weight and figure- and then how we dress to kind of say "I don't care anyway" and cover ourselves up with loose clothes- wheras our men frequently love and admire our figure as it is and would like us to show it off more. I went through a change in that this last year and am wearing more fitted clothes rather than loose, baggy ones. Because I realised I *did* care and covering myself up wasn't helping.

Well I guess you can resist it but you could also welcome it and buy speakers, learn how to download music, and then maintain a general influence over the sort of music he listens to by making the downloading a sort of family thing. There does come a time when kids move more out of the family sphere and want to feel part of the peer culture, and while you can influence it for a long time....it still happens one way or another- or, they end up very weird homeschoolers (ask my kids, anyway). If it would cause your son to withdraw from you, get particularly unhappy with you...is it worth the control? We are an ipod family- the kids listen to their ipods- but I make a point of letting them play me their favourite songs. We have several ipod docks around the house- they use the one in the kitchen when they are doing dishes. Your son might be getting to a point where he needs his own private world. I think personally that is a healthy thing and it is dangerous for a mother to need to maintain control and awareness of every part of their child's life. If something in him wants an ipod, wants to embrace that- I would allow it, but do it in such a way that you still have influence.

Sounds like you are missing oils. You could try flaxseed oil and coconut oil, in your food (don't heat flaxseed oil though- just splash it on salads or take capsules). Eat avocados. Also sounds like a possible allergic reaction- anything you are eating more of, or differently, that you might be allergic to? More wheat perhaps?

I don't drink milk. When I do drink it it is plain, but its always in something like tea, where flavoured milk just doesn't do it for me :).

Well, I hope he doesn't throw the baby out with the bathwater after all that hard work! What about adding in grains, dairy, fruit etc and just leaving out the sugar? I am sure he will do what he wants though, if he's anything like my dh :) If butter is cheap- you can make your own ghee. If its expensive- just use butter :)

Love you too! :hurray:

I make mine every day. It makes the room feel peaceful, and it is my sanctuary. I dont make the kids make theirs- when they tidy their rooms (whenever that is!), they might make their bed to complete their satisfaction. But not generally. We all have doonas in summer and winter- its not hard to toss a doona neatly onto the bed to make it- but I am not going to fight that battle with them.

We do a lot of 2nd hand shopping and hunting, and we both have quirky clothes tastes. So sometimes he has brought home things he thinks and hopes I would like. He once bought me a full sheepskin long coat from an op shop- must be 2 sheep in it, I am sure- its so thick and heavy. I have only used it a couple of times- we don't live in a snowy climate at all- but for those couple of times, I loved it, and I am keeping it. He has bought me other coats and various things over the years. Mostly, he wont spend much money on them- they are bargains- so it doesn't matter if they don't fit or I don't like them. He loves to buy me leather clothes for riding on his Harley Davidson though :) . Cheeky (its not my thing but I do it for him!)! On the other hand, I never buy *him* clothes except for the annual white tshirt that I hand paint a design on for him. He is very fussy- he never throws anything away either- he is 56 and has clothes from his 20s in his wardrobe. He loves costumes and to have different styles- the bikie look, the hippie look, the business man look, the redneck look. I leave it to him.

Im not even Christian but I couldn't help peeking :) I like it. As long as it isn't used to beat oneself up for not managing to live one's highest values all, or very much of the time. But I do do a similar thing for myself and stick up sticky notes and laminated posters for myself of the values I truly want to live. Especially in the toilet where I have time to read them :) I like the reminders.

Great dream! :lol:

Yes and no. We are blunt- always have been. But we have also learned to be kinder and more sensitive to each other as time as gone on, too. The love has grown, for sure. I think I read something about how the first 10 or 20 years of a marriage usually involves a lot of power struggle. I can relate to that. But as time goes on, things sort themselves out and there is more generosity and giving grace, and more sensitivity in expression.

HI Negin- if he is feeling it is working, that is something at least. Yes, generally low sugar fruit should be ok especially if he has been on the diet for a while- the super strict phase really should only be for a couple of weeks. Also, grains should be ok, just not white, and not in yeasted bread. Yoghurt in the form of a lassi should be good. Coconut oil is anti bacterial and anti fungal- and ghee is also good- they would be very nourishing for him. If he is still craving sugar so intensely though- I would say something is still out of balance in his system. He should be feeling stable blood sugar- unless his diet is too restrictive or too full of the bitter element. He should be feeling nourished and full but without an emphasis on the sweet taste- so it sounds like his diet is not right, to me. If it was my sugar lovin dh, as soon as he felt the candida was cured he would slowly resume to his old patterns of sugar excess, if he still felt those cravings. My dh is quite aware of candida and eats a lot of yoghurt to balance his sugar excess. It does seem to help. I don't know of websites off hand - if you are not familiar with ayurveda at all, it would be a big learning curve for you to understand the concepts, but this article might give you a feel for their approach. The same article is here at his website, which you could explore.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

I LOVE your rules. I love the respect for elders shown, and that kids go last. I love it. But it doesn't happen here. On a good occasion, parents will keep their kids with them and supervise what they choose. Parents will check that kids don't take all the good things. In my case, I would check that my son didn't just pile his place up with meat - we are mostly vegetarian but he tends to crave meat and when he gets the opportunity, might go overboard and take it all. But generally, at family gatherings the kids will go first. I like your way better.

I am finding that parenting teens involves many roles, and I can step into different ones as needed. I don't need to hang on to the authority figure role, with power behind it, when I am asking if they would please unpack the dishwasher. They live here, we live together, I cook most meals- its just a reasonable request of another human being. I reserve my "authority role" for when there is already disrespect happening and I need to power up a bit to deal with the situation- and even then, more communication and more listening is usually a better option. I would rather they helped because they want to, than because I told them to. My goal is young adults who pitch in, who behave well, because they want to, not because they are afraid of me or the consequences of not doing so. I am not especially into "obedience", especially by the teen years- I think the cost of that is too high. I want cooperation.

I have changed my name twice and a couple of years ago, returned to my birth name. I was known by 2 different names for about 10 years each name. I did not care what my family thought :) They continued to call my by my birth name and I didn't bother trying to change that- I don't see them often anyway. I did find that some friends, even those who have changed names themselves, would have something to say about it and many still find it difficult to call my by my very ordinary birth name. I am now often called any of 3 different names and while I have tried to re-establish my birth name, I am affectionate about the other 2 names. Considering my own stance, I would be hypocritical if I got upset that my kids wanted to change their names. My son has often stated that he would like to be called Oliver instead of Jared and he even sometimes uses Oliver in some circumstances. Names are such personal things- I don't think its anyone's business what I choose to call myself, and I would not consider it my business to interfere with someone else's name change.

Lol, I wondered what it was about. Right now there are probably 50 black swans near my house- I walked past them on my morning walk this morning. They are native to our state in Australia and there are no white swans. So I wondered if the movie was a local one. Obviously not :) Lesbianism doesn't bother me but it doesn't sound like I would enjoy the movie anyway.

We haven't presumed problems where there are none, and have been none. We didn't set an age. Dd first went to the movies with young men around age 14- often with groups, then sometimes on a special date with one guy- none of these ever led anywhere. At 15 she had a boyfriend for 5 months but he was too clingy and serious for her. At 16 she really fell in love for the first time but then fell out of love rather quickly. She would rather not have a boyfriend at all for a while- she wants her freedom. I think so much depends on the nature of your child and your own values- for us, we are far more interested in the emotional health of our kids than whether or not they have sex before marriage (because we did and we are ok!). We want them to wait till they are older, and they are, but we wont be disappointed in them for their choices. This dd16 is easy going, compliant, sweet, incredibly fun, social and bubbly- but she has very healthy self esteem and we haven't needed to step in and protect her at all. She really takes good care of herself in every way- she has autonomy over her body and heart, not us. If she didn't, we would probably handle it differently. The rules have been: no going in a boy's car without prior express permission from Dad every single time. (Dad would give boy big lecture regularly). If at home, the bedroom door stays open. When going out in the daytime, home by dark. When going out in the evening (with permission), home by 10pm unless you have arranged with us otherwise. Ds15- same rules really but he has had a steady girlfriend for 6 months- he treats her well. Bedroom door stays open. But they have plenty of time to muck around if they want, both at our place and her place- we do not supervise them closely. To the best of our rather astute observations, they stay within certain limits. The car thing hasnt become an issue since he is the boy. It really is different having a girl but it is out girl whole is the more socially extrovert- she has many boys whe are friends- she is very popular and is often asked out. Honestly, I don't know if it just my kids but...I trust them to take care of themselves and to do the right thing most of the time. I am not naive- their dad and I were wild teenagers- but we don't put such restrictions on them that they really need to rebel. And we keep the communication channels open. We do have a thing about them not drinking underage (binge drinking is huge in local culture and many of their friends through Scouts etc do so) and that is where we implement the most control. It has all been a natural progression. We let go more and more as they grow older- the boundaries expand- I think they feel loved, protected, watched over, yet have a lot of freedom. But that is us with our kids and their particular natures and our values.

Other. In the present day reality, I do not think most parents could or should homeschool. It would be nice if there weren't so much ignorance or prejudice about it though so that those who would want to do it, could easily do so.The more who do it, the more resources we develop, and the more governments need to take us into account. In an ideal world- I don't think education would look much like homeschooling or school, but something much more integrated, wide, more like apprenticeships and mentorships and community based learning. Communities would be healthier and more cohesive so organised education would be more community based rather than government directed. It would be for the benefit of each individual more than the "system". And whoever really wanted to work with kids, could share their skills. I think homeschooling is a sort of response to the school system. It's not really ideal either, I don't think, in terms of community. Look at us, all at home, on the internet, trying to get a sense of how to do this, trying to get a sense of community. It's not ideal- it's just better than school for those who choose it. I would have loved to have sent my kids down the road to an expert in this or that- to the neighbour for cooking classes, a few weeks on a boat at sea for nautical skills, that sort of thing. I also think schools have positives in terms of collaborative projects, or pooled resources, that can be challenging for homeschoolers to achieve. One parent teaching their kids at home for the whole of the child's childhood? Even using some outside resources? No, I don't think that is an ideal situation overall. It is too much for one person to take on, for too long. Its really hard work. But its the best choice for many of us for a time- better than the affordable alternatives.