Not me, but apparently this is a known disorder called misophonia. Ordinary noises can bother a person inordinately. I know a person who has this, and when other people chew, talk during movies, or mow their lawn down the street, it bothers this person a LOT. You can google it but I don't know if there's much you can do about it except play background music. HTH!

Maybe some of you internet experts can help me understand this? I began getting emails from Best Buy thanking me for setting up some kind of points-bearing reward account with them. These were genuinely from Best Buy, and the account was set up with my email. There was no suspicious link to click. They called me Angela, which is not my name. I just threw the emails out and paid no attention. Then Saturday I got an email from them thanking me for requesting an email receipt! I received two email receipts for items I did not buy. They were bought in a state across the country from me. There was again no suspicious link, and the emails were from the genuine Best Buy, not some shadow website. I did not click anywhere on these emails. The items were not bought with my credit card (thank goodness!) and have other people's names on them. There is a note on each of them thanking "Santa" for the purchase. The first was for a $300 item, bought by a man who is (according to google) a night watchman in the town where the purchases were made. He appears to be from Cameroon. The second was for a $900 item bought in the same location a minute later by a man who is (again according to google) an Icelander, living in Iceland and who was recently married. I called Best Buy and they said one of these purchases was already flagged as fraudulent. This all happened within about 10 minutes, because I happened to be checking my email just after the purchases were made. So they noted down that it has nothing to do with me. I forwarded all the emails to Best Buy's abuse-reporting email, and asked them to close that points-bearing account. Now, my email is not something anyone would have come up with randomly. It's not like mary@yahoo.com or something. So why would a criminal attach it to a points bearing account? It had nothing to do with my actual name or credit card. What is going on? I have changed the password to my email account, but I'm hoping that I don't have to start a completely new account because it would be a pain. Thanks if you've read this far!

Yes, since it's November, let's have a controversy about something else! What shall it be? Hats vs scarves? And if scarves, wool or silk? Chic or babushka-style? I will be very bold and introduce the subject of fur coats! Perhaps fur vs a good cloth coat (like Pat's)? Which would you let your DDs wear? :)

Hun, taking it out on an inanimate object may not be so good either... do you mean he goes out to do some physical labor like yard work to blow off steam, or are you talking about breaking somebody's possessions?

Still thinking about all this. I began to picture anyone trying this kind of abuse on my particular church community. I don't think it would work, because our local church is full of very strong minded people who would knock the person over the head if they tried it! They would never stand for it and such person would be out on his ear. Then I began to realize that there could, in any community, be a few who are more timid, who could be taken advantage of, especially if it occurred in private, and if the person was weak because of going through some kind of crisis, and depending on the leader for spiritual help. I suppose the abusive person in authority knows, like any bully, who he can bully and who won't stand for it. And he gathers around himself a community of victims who are weak and/or wounded so that he can keep his power. And, if they do speak up, their neediness and weakness will make their story unbelievable, and their own faults will be exposed. And the leader pretends to himself that this is what God wants so that he can justify himself. Ultimately the facade will not hold, something slips, and there is a scandal. Maybe there can be a real repentance, I hope so. But it would be hard for any of us to know if there truly is, wouldn't it? I can imagine someone who was really repentant writing a very similar letter. So I can't tell if he means anything or not. The only thing is 'produce fruit in keeping with repentance.' and I'm not the one with any responsibility to keep tabs on him so I will probably never know.

There is an actual name for this, it's called 'splitting.' It's what people with NPD or personality disorder do, set other people against each other. One has to be very careful not to feed into it by enjoying being the person who is favored at the moment.

Dear Faith, thank you for that informative post. I don't know anything about these people and I am glad to have it explained. I am also glad there is a group of people who are trying to get away from this. The kind of church life they are living is sick, just sick. Religious power that is used to oppress and terrify is the VERY thing that Jesus wants us NOT to do! Thank you also for making the point that not everyone with what could be called a patriarchal outlook is behaving like this. I read the long blog entries linked above and I am not sure that I was hearing the whole story from her either, but what I kept wondering was, why on earth did they possibly accept this man's authority and stay so long, and now I understand a bit better why a person could be brainwashed into thinking that they were serving God by obeying this particular man.

I think I would give the teacher a short amount of time to totally change her ways. I'm glad she got reprimanded. Meantime, I would be checking out whether she is a lone bad apple, or whether this is typical for that school. That's how I would decide whether to pull DD out or not.

OP, I would not address the other parents. That conversation can go very badly. I don't think they will change unless they are very reasonable, secure people, and the way they have behaved so far doesn't imply that. They won't say, "Oh my goodness! we had no idea that was going on! Let's fix that right away!" What I would do is address the behavior at the moment when I see it, to the kid: "No pinching. That's not allowed. If you pinch X again, you will not be able to play with X today." If I had any consequences available to me, I would apply them immediately, even if the only consequence within my reach is not allowing the kid to play with my own children. If you do this firmly, other parents will notice and start doing the same. If there is a teacher in this situation, I would talk to them about enforcing the rules. Then you do not need to talk to the parents directly, because they will notice. It will be clear that you are not just picking on their child, because pinching happened and it was obvious to everyone. I am not a big fan of disciplining other people's children, but in the situation you are in, I think it's the best choice. And, I would not do it if I didn't personally witness the bad behavior, because then you do run the risk of being accused of picking on the child and believing your child's story over theirs. I would teach my children to stand up to a bully, but I would not rely on them being able to do this fearlessly in every situation. I would not remove my children from the situation. It's not their fault and they should not lose out.

Here's what I would do. Let her take the test and see if she tests into the program. Then you will be part of the community of parents of gifted children. You can bet that if the program is as good as you describe, there is a powerful group of gifted parents advocating for it! Then you can bring up your concerns and perhaps get things changed if enough of the parents agree. I think that the parents in our area did this last year-- the procedure for getting in was changed from nomination by parent or teacher to qualifying based on a test that everyone took.

My goodness, OTB, what a lot you have had to deal with!! It is strange, isn't it, when you find your own life resembling a soap opera! I am glad you have been able to come to some peace about the whole situation, and that right now your worry is just the etiquette question of gifts. Perhaps give EX something to eat? I think I would do that, then it can easily be shared with C without you making a point of giving or not giving C anything.

I've been thinking about this thread and wondering what I think about it for a little while. I finally realized what was missing for me: any discussion of whether you feel a spiritual calling for this job. Do you feel called to do it? I mean, do you love this church and its mission, and do you feel that God is calling you into this niche? Do you want to help the church do what it's trying to do? Is there enough love between you and the church community that the aggravation could be a minor thing? Or not? If not, there's nothing wrong with that, you have plenty else on your plate right now, so just say no.

My DC actually like eating the raw puree: just add some brown sugar and cinnamon and they eat it like pudding!

Can you possibly get help with your little kids? With mastitis you need major rest-- like take the baby and go to bed for 2 days kind of rest! I can't imagine getting better without that. Also keep warm. Btw the standard med for mastitis is dicloxicillin. ((hugs))

This is a really good topic! Just wanted to add that I had to google Rain gutter regatta-- looks fun! I hope our scouts can do it one day, even if I have to help organize it. :)

Yes, and now Gmail app has stopped crashing! :)

I use NIV for my own personal reading, because that is what I began to read when I became serious about my faith at age 18 and I bought a nice big leather bound one. I also like it because the text beautiful-- it's poetic. I don't even look at the notes anymore. [i also like it because of the way it smells! It reminds me of those wonderful days when I was just waking up to my faith!] I have an NASB in the car because it is small with a sturdy binding so it transports easily, yet the letters aren't too tiny to read. I suppose I'm giving the impression that I choose the Bible translation I use based on sentimental or practical reasons having to do with the book itself, but: For serious study I use the Orthodox Study Bible, and I do read the Greek as well. (though not that proficiently)

Also, I meant to ask the OP: What was it that recently made you realize this is permanent? Was it a change in the life around you, or a realization you came to, inside? I think I would look at that thought process to help me figure out where to go next in my thinking. Also, your AMDG made me think: (cc here) You probably know about St Monica who had some of the same thoughts and realized, "Nothing is far from God." I hope that does not seem like a pat or easy answer. I know what is like to be faraway from home and have to make a great spiritual effort to find peace. It's hard, but AMDG it will turn out very well. :grouphug: Oh dear this post sounds very preachy. Not meant that way. FWIW.

Just one thought-- from a Northerner: I've always appreciated the few Southerners who have come to live in the various Northern communities I've been part of. They have a special enthusiasm, and friendliness, and a social nature, that I really like. They light up a room! I wonder if you realize how much you are appreciated by the people around you, if they are like me? And I'm a Northerner who could be called cold and reserved by some... When I lived in California I was never quite comfortable. I missed the snow and the changing leaves, and the private way people are... for example when I went to visit Boston, I caught myself thinking, "I'm in Boston! Thank goodness I do not have to smile or say hi to everybody passing by and I can just go about my business!!!"

I think the League of Women Voters does this too.

Can you describe how much you are being overpaid? 10 percent over the going rate? Twice as much?

Mine are in 2nd and 4th grade. At the beginning of the year we talked together about when is the best time for homework, and I provide the time and space for it: after dinner at the table. I remind them at that time. For DD2ndgrade, she needs me to sit with her so she can stay on task and ask questions. For DS4thgrade, he is completely on his own unless he has questions. He does pretty well. The reward comes on Fridays: if they hand in their work for the week, they get to go to a fun activity. So there is less need for me to assign any reward or consequences, because it is all set up already by the school. DS remembers on his own to pack up his homework materials for Friday, and DD has to be reminded.

Burnt by the Sun. and a Chinese movie called To Live. They came out the same year and tied, I think, for a prize at Cannes. The first one is Russian. They are both about families living through Communist times. Warning: both have sad moments. I found it very interesting to compare the Chinese and Russian experience and attitude.

Well, this is slightly different, but a family member of mine was the executor of an estate, and he transferred $300,000 from the estate account into his personal account. When relatives informed the bank of this, the bank could not have cared less. Nothing was done until relatives informed law enforcement. You would think there would be some oversight of large amounts of money moving around, but I guess not! I realize this is a different situation since it is a transfer, not a paper check, but personally I would think that if banks do not pay any attention to $300,000, they may not pay any attention to $1500.

Oh my gosh, how horrible!! hugs and prayers for you.