Thank you all for these posts and links. This was very helpful to me!

I mostly wear a below-the-knee skirt, or slightly dressy pants, and a sweater. I try to keep jeans for just at home. Many people in our church come from conservative cultures and would be shocked to see me out and about the town in jeans. But that is just me, where I fall on this spectrum, and I don't mind any other PW's choices-- except if they are kind of extreme-- like a leopard minidress for example. I wouldn't feel like that would be a good choice. (Does anyone remember the thread about a PW being called 'hot' by her husband?) As a PW you have to balance being your genuine real self, vs people's expectations. I'm always balancing these two. In some situations, even if their expectations are not exactly what you'd like to do, I feel there's not much use putting a stumbling block in your relationship with them. On the other hand if you never are genuine, what good is that? The best thing you can give to your people is yourself. And constantly hiding who you are leads to burnout. That's no good. But I'm talking about the people in your congregation, not strangers at a hospital desk. Who knows what they expect, and you may have made a good impression on them in spite of your feeling slightly awkward. Idnib, that pastor's wife sounds really clueless. I always have my classy black suit (skirt one, not pants) hanging in my closet, dry-cleaned and ready to go, in case of funerals. Likewise I have my good dress ready to go for a wedding or baptism. That's just courtesy and politeness to the people involved.

Update: Well, as you might have guessed, I still am getting emailed receipts from items I did not buy, from many areas of the country, particularly places I do not live. [To reiterate: none of them have my credit card info on them; they are just linked to my email from a Rewards program which I did not join. There's been no other activity on any of my own accounts to indicate my i.d. has been stolen or something.] The purchases lately have been in cash. A $15 powercord, or a $900 laptop-- paid for in cash. This is less interesting for me because if it's cash then the name of the purchaser isn't on the receipt and then I don't get the fun of googling them. But cash? Who has $900 cash to buy a laptop? I have forwarded each receipt to Best Buy and they promised that this will stop soon. Anyway, here is the kicker: I am now the proud owner of a $25 gift certificate to Best Buy! Because of all the points, you see, that all these purchases have racked up. It came to my email address. I am not really planning to use it since it's based on some kind of something shady, and also because I have informed BB that it's not mine and so what would they do if I show up with it? I wonder what they would say if I call and ask?

Also called predestination vs free will. I've been in on some discussions recently among evangelical Christian friends lately, and this issue has come up and people have stated which side of the debate they fall on. Those of you who belong to protestant/evangelical/nondenominational churches, do you find that much teaching is devoted to this subject? Which denominations tend to be on which side? Or is it a personal preference? Is it a strongly held belief, or more like you just go along with whatever the teaching in the church you like is? Would a difference cause you to want to go to another church? I am not really interested in starting a debate about these two schools of theology-- I think I understand where both sides are coming from both Biblically and theologically. What I would like to know is: Is this a frequent topic of conversation, teaching, or conflict? I had thought that this was an older, more historical kind of controversy. Thanks!

Take on a small task first, then when you are satisfied that you have done it well, you will have more confidence for a larger task, and so on.

Well, sometimes speakers go over the time allotted. They just keep talking and it's so interesting nobody notices... It's unintentional of course. ;)

Archconservative Christian here... :) I would see the wedding as the couple trying to set something right. I would go, with a smile.. (I've been in this situation before.)

I think he looks like an Oscar. :)

Send her a private message, and expect to be unfriended, but your conscience will be clear.

Apple-pie oatmeal-- cooked overnight in the crockpot! :)

I think Flylady has a plan to get ready for Xmas. I started a Xmas binder based on hers, & found it helpful.

Once I was at a museum exhibition of jewelry from different royal families. I overheard a mom say to her little girl, "You can never have too many tiaras!" I agree!

yay! hugs!

I would like to share but it would be prideful. ;)

I hope everything went well. :grouphug:

re what Orthodox6 said: me too!

:grouphug:

Steel cut oats take 1 hour for me to cook on the stovetop. That's too long when everybody is up and about wanting breakfast! I would rather cook them while I sleep, thank you! Hope you are feeling better Joanne!

Just tell the Dr how you are feeling. I hope you get some answers. I have no real advice, just :grouphug:

OP, I think a recipe will only be foolproof after you try it yourself. I recently cooked steel-cut oats in the crockpot according to an online recipe. It said cook 6-8 hours on low. I set it to cook 6 hours then stay on warm. It turned out delicious, and well-cooked but the edges were a little burned. Next time I will set it for less time and also butter the pot a lot more.

OP, I don't really think the rules have changed. Your rules are the right ones. The trouble is that nobody enforces them anymore. If you are at the movies and someone is talking loud, will an usher come by and tell them to stop? No! There are no ushers anymore. If a neighbor or a driver is playing oppressively loud music (of whatever kind), will anyone go up and ask them to turn it down? Rarely, because we are afraid of hurting peoples feelings OR spoiling our relationship OR provoking violence. The only alternative is to call the police and report a noise complaint. Sometimes it seems that that would be escalating things too much and it's not worth it. So we don't. On the other hand, it is comforting when there are moderators who help keep us on the straight and narrow! :) Regarding your other thread, the person I know with misophonia is convinced that the noises are so bothersome not because the noise itself is bothersome to the ear, but because they bother the person's internal sense of orderliness. The noise represents somebody else 'coloring outside the lines' or not behaving according to the rules, and the sufferer can't do anything about the situation.

My DS went to Catholic school for K. I think that you would find a some variety among Catholic schools so it would be worth exploring the one that you are considering. Here's my thoughts: We are Orthodox, and overall I would say that the experience DS had was mostly very good. The K teacher was very good and DS learned a lot from her and had fun. The other parents were very involved. The principal was highly intelligent, good with people, and especially concerned with safety: I was impressed with the very comprehensive plans in case of earthquake or other emergency, and we parents knew step by step what to do if something like that happened at the school. They did service projects too with the kids. They went to mass about once a month. Sometimes I went also and I found it very moving and beautiful. They also had parent volunteering down to a science: you volunteered for a specific number of hours, so there was no confusion about what your responsibilities were. Things that didn't suit me as well were: that the theological bent of that particular church and school was a bit too liberal for us; that parents, mostly Catholics, did not always seem well-versed in their own faith (for example, many climbed on the altar table in order to get a good spot to take a photo of their child in the procession-- and the priest and principal didn't say anything to stop them), and that the rest of the families were much more affluent than we were. I mean, we went to visit one home on a playdate, and you could have fit our Entire House in their foyer. You might say that this kind of thing doesn't matter, but it is uncomfortable, especially when you realize that the other families are basically subsidizing your child being there at all due to the very kind significant financial aid we received. That's something that relates to the culture of the particular school, not being Catholic, but I just mention it in case that is something to consider. Now when we moved, we were planning to homeschool, so I did not consider the local RC school very thoroughly, but I was immediately turned off by their website, which listed so many rules for the children, such as: they are not allowed to visit the bathroom during recess. Also everyone has to have lace-up shoes. That is just a sample of the many rules. Why?? As to the child being confused by differences between RCism and the family's church, my son was a little disturbed by one thing: rules about Communion. Since we are EO, he has been receiving Communion since he was a baby, but his little RC friends did not receive it since they had not had their First Communion yet. He began to be worried that he was actually doing something wrong by having Communion at our own church. Nobody told him it was wrong. Nobody told him that he had to wait til he was the right age. He just inferred this for himself and it bothered him. It took some digging before I realized what was bothering him and we cleared this up. I suppose if you have a sensitive child, they might take differences to heart, whereas another child might just say, Oh we have different rules, it's not a big deal. Overall I think it was a good thing for him to be at Mass, but occasionally we had something we had to talk over. After that one discussion I can't recall another thing that worried him. My point is that it's not likely that a teacher will tell your child that his own faith is wrong, but the child will look around and wonder about things, so you can be ready for that.

:grouphug:

I fail to understand it too... I just wondered if they somehow had access to my email and would open it and see the email receipts and access their points from there? It does seem kind of unusual doesn't it? Why wouldn't they... just use their own email? or... get a paper receipt? Or log onto Best Buy's own website? The only guess I have is that they could have stolen my identity and are using this reward program to build up some kind of history, before they open a new CC account?? In that case it makes sense for me to try to protect all my online things. And it's not like a new password will hurt me anyway. I'm not saying any of this makes sense. I'm beginning to think maybe it's just a glitch at Best Buy... in spite of my calls and emails to them, I am still getting email receipts... the latest is a laptop purchase in Humble, Texas! But when I talked to local police they were very suspicious that something unusual is going on.

Hi everybody, thank you for your suggestions! In answer to above questions, I think that the items were bought in a particular store, not online. And my email is quite unusual, so I think you would need to type it in on purpose, not mistakenly. Also the name on the rewards card is "Santa" and the address and zip code on that rewards account are just a jumble of numbers, so it doesn't seem to be somebody else's real rewards card that got mixed up with my email by mistake. I also never started a Best Buy rewards card on my own. I've changed my email password, just in case, and now am changing out my bank account/card number too. I don't know if this really needs to be done but I guess it couldn't hurt! I am considering a credit freeze too. I have also contacted the local police and the state attorney general-- I called Clark Howard who recommended this--we'll see what they say. Everyone I talk to is mystified by this. Perhaps I am discovering the tip of the iceberg of a new kind of fraud and a world of honest citizens will thank me one day haha. Anyway I hope it will not lead to anything worse. Thank you all!