FWIW, I bet she could nail the Lang exam with minimal prep. Got a prep book/test, try it, and see where she scores w/ no studying. I bet she'll do great, then she can use the prep book to make sure she gets in any missing skills (identified via the practice test(s), etc).

Well, although of course a flight crew's most important job is keeping everyone safe . . . I think this does not diminish their secondary duties to keep their customers comfortable and to support a pleasant and respectful environment. A doctor's most important job is keeping/making their patients healthy. A veterinarian's most important job is serving pets' health . . . . . . but doctors and veterinarians and other health professionals ALSO need to be kind, friendly, timely . . .etc . . . and have facilities that are comfortable, appealing, etc . . . and have staff that support all those "extras" . . . An optometrist's most important job is to fit someone with eyewear that will best improve their vision. . . . but they also need to facilitate a client finding eyewear that is comfortable and attractive and cost-effective. A structural engineer's primary duty is to design a bridge/house/whatever that is safe and functional. . . . but they also need to make it cost-effective and attractive/etc. ETC ETC ETC Every role in life/job/etc has primary and secondary missions. So, unless the flight attendant is busy all the time keeping folks safe and that prevents them from discharging their secondary duties, then they should be expected to be doing their secondary duties. And, it's up to the airline how much they want to invest in training their staff to be pleasant and courteous and able to PLEASANTLY solve problems that occur . . . If they don't have enough staff/time to do everything on the "secondary" list, then they can staff differently, offer different services (bottled water, etc. as you walk on the flight) . . . or they can just choose to be a low quality airline.

A basement flood last year gave me the excuse to throw away all that stuff . . . I burned it in the brush pile, lol. And I watched while it was burning to make sure it was all really gone. LOLOLOL Diaries are overrated, IMHO.

Ha, ha, affluent school district . . . in West Virginia ???? ha ha ha ha Yes, well, my family is affluent, that's true. Our school district, however, is not affluent by any ordinary American standards. LOL, I don't think WV has ANY affluent school districts. We're just a very poor state, and those of us with "more" are very mixed in with the rest of us who have less. There are some districts with MUCH MUCH LESS -- extreme poverty, but we don't live there . . . Our local schools are better than most in WV, but that is NOT SAYING MUCH. And, FTR, I'd love it if we had godless schools here in WV. I'd also be fine if they had God-filled schools here in WV. But, what I'd really, really like, if we had schools full of bright shining, well fed, healthy kids in safe, healthy school buildings equipped with the books and technology they need to do a great job, and being taught by teachers who had enough support and pay to not actually qualify for food stamps themselves . . . Not totally being sarcastic, actually . . . I choose homeschooling because I can do a better job than the schools can. NOT because I don't like the human beings in the schools.

You have a beautiful family!! Your son-in-law looks SO HAPPY to be married to your lovely daughter, which is, in my book, a fabulous sign of a man who will cherish and love his wife, which is certainly the top of my list for attributes for a son-in-law! Thanks for sharing your pictures!

I think this is INSANE. We have a trip booked on United in June, and this story makes me verrrrryyy nervous. It is DERANGED that they would do such a thing. They could have upped the offers . . . They could have simply stated, that, "hey, we're at our max $800/1000/2000/whatver offer. We CAN NOT TAKE OFF until someone volunteers to get off the plane. . . ". and WAITED . . . They could have done 1001 things. Instead, they manhandled a customer, violently. I'm disgusted. There are good reasons why someone would be desperate not to miss getting home on schedule. Dh is a mostly-solo veterinarian at his practice. (95% of days, there's just one vet scheduled.) The practice grosses about $3000/day most days, and typically his first day back after being gone (and having other vets cover for him), he is SLAMMED with clients who've been waiting to see him, so his first day back is often a 10 hour day, grossing 4000 or more, with maybe 15-25 clients/patients. If he couldn't get back in time, we'd still have nearly all our expenses (what do we tell our 7 staff scheduled that day to support him, who CAN NOT generate ANY significant income without a vet in hospital? Tell them to go home -- not very nice. So they'd "work" at half speed doing some cleaning and call backs . . . generating no income . . . but we'd still have 80-90% of expenses for the day. AND, WORSE, we'd have 20 or so clients -- most of them regulars who were waiting for Dr. Owner (so high maintenance clients) . . . Some of them would be very gracious about a last minute call canceling . . . others would be STEAMED and there'd always be one or two who are unreasonable and impossible to satisfy. That is the way this sort of business model works. We adapt by doing all in our power to be ultra-reliable. Dh has never, ever called off sick in 13 years ownership. We just DO NOT NOT SHOW UP. So, if this happened to dh, we'd lose about $3000 directly, and have a SHITSTORM to deal with when we got home. It would NOT be OK. I can hardly fathom how much more crucial this reliability would be for a human doctor. Can you imagine showing up for your neuro appointment for your mom with dementia (that you'd waited months for, probably) and having the DR no show? Or your oncology visit? Ugh, no. Doesn't happen!! Why doesn't it happen? Because doctors in those sorts of specialties simply NEVER EVER call off. (Ok, yes, this is hyperbolic, but I'd bet dollars to donuts that doctors in those sorts of specialties have last-minute-call-offs for ANY reason no more than a handful of times over a career. Things like your spouse dies, your kid is in ICU, you are hit by a bus . . . those sorts of things. . . Anything short of those sorts of things -- like a flight canceling -- means the DR will go rent a car and drive overnight, or drive to another airport 200 miles away, and pay any price, etc. Some professions just CAN NOT call off. Similarly, my mom was an attorney, and you never, ever, ever missed a court date. EVER. EVER. EVER. Let alone someone hurrying to a dying family member (BTDT, several times) . . . OMG, this is INSANE.

Yah, we agree. How? I don't know, lol. But, I'll try to describe it. I guess I don't think it's different, FOR US, than most other topics. We pretty much see eye to eye on important things, and we respect each other enough that when one of us wants to spend on something, the other generally goes along with it. Similarly, we respect each other enough that if one of us wants to spend on something that the other thinks is unwise, the concerned partner speaks up, and the spend-y partner considers and generally goes along with the concern and drops the spending idea (for now, at least). It boils down to -- little stuff, neither of us would imagine it reasonable to question or critique minor expenses. So, we each spend what we want, and the other pays it no mind. --- big stuff, we talk about it, respect each other's viewpoint, and make decisions together. I guess we're fortunate that our *values* are very similar financially. We value time together, education, and financial freedom/security. We're a weird blend of spending for valuable fun (i.e., travel, nice home, family fun, good food, highly desired splurges) now + not being frivolous (not into clothes/shoes/electronics/shopping as a sport) + risk takers (business and student debts, business ownership) . . . etc. Anyway, our particular skill sets and focuses are quite different but are complementary. So, we agree on VALUES/PRIORITIES, but we don't behave the exact same ways in pursuit of those same values. It works out for the best, as we complement each other instead of fight each other . . . I think this is because we RESPECT each other. . . So, for instance, I am the one who studies up on retirement savings, health care options, funky ways to save on various expenses . . . So, I come up with an idea to buy a house for college girl instead of paying rent for years . . . I work the numbers, and do the leg work. I keep dh informed. He agrees it's a wise idea, so he signs on the dotted lines. Similarly, I figure out, "hey, we're finishing off paying this business loan this coming year, so let's set up aggressive retirement savings plan to redirect the funds towards retirement now that the business loan is done." Dh says, uh, sure, and I do the leg work, and it gets done. This dynamic repeats itself endlessly in our marriage. It's awesome, actually, that we work so well together. Meanwhile, dh is the one doing the day-to-day finances for both our primary business as well as home, so he's got his finger on the pulse, so to speak, and he has to let me know if we're cash tight or over spending . . . If he does, then I know to avoid Amazon for a while or whatever . . . Our income and expenses are wildly variable, so it's sort of up to him to let me know, "hey, Christmas bills are piling up and it's the slow season at work, just want you to know we're running $xxx on the credit cards (which we generally aim to keep at 0)" . . . and then it's up to me to say, WHOA, that's bad, let's tighten our belts, and then we adjust spending for a few weeks/months and/or I do one of my more strategic financial moves to free up money in some other area. Rinse, repeat. We keep in relatively open communication, enough that our goals are met and we're living our values, and we experience minimal stress. So, if I were to advise someone on how to achieve this financial harmony? I think it'd start with identifying your values/priorities. For us, we value time together and with our kids. We value fun shared experiences together. We value travel. We value education. We value avoiding debt. We value home ownership. We value financial freedom (to pay for nice things, but especially, given what we saw with my mom, for things like caregivers/help when you are infirm, so that takes a lot of $$$ in savings for old age, plus expensive disability insurance now.) We do NOT value the latest electronics, name brand "stuff", shopping as a sport, clothes/shoes, expensive beauty care, etc. etc. SO, I'd take these ideas as a starting point and figure out what each of you value and how your values overlap and conflict. Then, I'd look at spending and see how it aligns with your values. You won't be able to afford everything you want, even if you highly value it, and that is what the work of budgeting is . . . We value education, but we couldn't afford 75k/yr for college, so our kids knew not to apply to the Ivies, etc (where we would not get any need based aid and they don't offer merit aid). We value travel and time together, and so we do it, but, we can't afford a month at a 1000/nt resort . . . But, we can afford 10 days at a VRBO for all 5 of us . . . etc. We align our spending AND OUR SAVINGS with our values. We budget and juggle . . . and even negotiate sometimes . . . but it's all with the same values in sight. We're not budgeters or planner on a day to day basis, but I believe that can be very helpful for most people. We're just not cut out for it, lol. We budget/plan on a BIG basis. I.e., I've figured out that, "If we keep doing what we're doing with debt repayment that is on auto-pilot . . . and as long as we can save $x/yr in these set retirement plans (also on auto-pilot) . . . and we just don't screw up majorly in some other way or acquire new debt (so, keep credit cards paid off, don't tap the HELOC, etc) . . . then we're good to go for our retirement date goals . . . That's it. So, essentially, all we have to know is "we're paying our bills, and our IRA contributions are going in each pay period" . . . and we know we're good to go. That's my budget, and it works for US. I'm guessing that most people need a more precise budgeting plan, lol, and surely we'd have benefited from a more precise plan when we were younger/broker, so I'd suggest to my young adult kids, when they are in this situation, that they figure out a budget/plan with one of those reputable budgeting programs . . .

I would pay $60 per first coat (walls, trim, and ceiling), per normal sized -- say up to 14'x14' or so -- room w/o a lot of furniture moving. And $40 for a second coat. That's assuming reasonably clean areas with reasonably little wall washing and furniture moving. (I.e., one hour of moving/vacuuming/washing for entire room). If the area is really gross or there's tons of furniture to move, I'd pay more, looking at $10/hr as a goal wage for more cleaning work. If it's already 100% ready to paint (including drop clothes/taping already done), then you could subtract $10 from the first coat price, making it $50. I've painted A LOT and am *very practiced, fast and neat. FWIW, I could prep in an hour, paint the first coat in probably 3-4 hours and the 2nd coat in probably 2 hours. (I've painted dozens of rooms over the years, and I like it.) Add in an hour of cleaning brushes and getting stuff out and putting it away . . . You're looking at about 8 hours work for one room, for me, and I'm really good. :) I'm also *really* particular, though. (2 coats on every surface, very tidy lines, etc.) If there are ceilings over 10' and you don't have excellent ladders/scaffolding/etc, then you'd have to pay a LOT more.

I request LINKS! These teases bring back so many humorous memories!

+ wikisticks + those "magic" coloring books with markers that only turn colors on the special pages of the book + new videos!!! Lots!!! + Jim Weiss audio books + candy + pipe cleaners + tons of drink boxes, plus water bottles and soda/whatever for Dad Since he's traveling solo, he'll likely need to drive during mostly daylight (darn it) . . . but . . . I've done a LOT of road trips with the kids solo . . . Here's some ideas: + Feed kids IN THE CAR as much as possible. It buys you a half hour of peace, and it's worth the mess. (Breakfast, snacks, and generally lunch) + Stay at hotels with a POOL. If possible, find one with a water slide or similar. Plan to stop for the night around 5-7PM, let the kids play in the pool for an hour or two, while he orders pizza (or similar) for delivery, and eat it pool side. Then, kids to bath & jammies, and sleep! If dh is sick of pizza, he can do a QUICK stop by a Moe's or Qdoba or similar and just get take out to eat by the pool. Honestly, this is my BEST road trip tip, and I've done a LOT of miles with my kiddos . . . Eating dinner by the pool is SO much more relaxing than eating at a nice restaurant. Just gotta' suck up the mediocre food for a few nights. It's worth it. + Eat the free breakfast QUICK at the hotel, pocket a bit for them to keep munching on in the car. Don't waste time in restaurants if you can avoid it. They are NOT fun with little kids, lol. It's better to eat crappy food than to wrangle kids for an hour in a restaurant, IMHO. + Send plenty of road food!! A cooler with yogurts, grapes, and other snacks, especially lots that your dh likes. He can replenish ice at the hotels. + For lunch, if you aren't eating in the car, stop by a Subway or similar, get TAKE OUT, and take it to an outdoor park/space/playground where the kids can run for an hour, while dh eats his food and relaxes while watching kids. I often stopped at historical "gardens" "Plantations" and similar. Just use your google map madskillz and identify potential stops for a play break. + Do something FUN if possible, at least once a day. We have a family tradition of looking for ice cream in every state we pass through. Sometimes, it's a cute local place. Worst case, it's ice cream at a gas station. In any event, it's fun, and it's ice cream! + Look for fun places to stop each day, if at all possible. If he can afford to take 2-4 hours to "play" each day, there are a million cool, fun things to do. State or US parks, swimming in a lake, zoos, etc, etc. + I usually limit driving to about 8-10 hrs/day when I'm driving solo, so that's about 500 miles per day, FWIW. Great idea -- use little paper sacks to make "play bags" and have enough of them for dh to hand out a couple per day to each kid . . . (wiki sticks in one, new audio CD in another, etc.)

Weird conversations. I live a pretty easy life by most standards, and I don't work (much -- just a little bit at our family business), and how we pay for all the nice things we have are nobody's business, and certainly whether we deserve to live the way we live, or whether I work or not, is nobody's business at all (outside of me and dh). I can't fathom anyone, ever, saying anything like that to me, ever. I am 100% certain that should anyone ever say anything along those lines to me, I'd be done with that relationship, so it'd be a once-and-over sort of interaction. I feel similarly when someone comments about friends or relatives dissing their homeschooling/parenting choices. Never happens to me . . . I think I put out a vibe that says mind-your-own-business, confident-and-comfortable-in-my-own-shoes, not-open-to-your-commentary . . . Maybe there are specific things I say/do that send out this vibe, but I can't really know what those things are. Best guesses would be that I just feel very comfortable in my own shoes and I also feel very grateful for the state of my life . . . I openly acknowledge how lucky I am, and if the topic of me working comes up, I comfortably state, "no way, no how, no need" . . . dh's earning power is easily 5x mine, and he'd much rather work a bit more or a bit longer than have me work . . . Lucky me!! On this topic, as on homeschooling, I really don't leave room for anyone to question me or criticize my family's life choices. The list of people who are entitled to give me their opinions on MY/our life choices is very short, and they know who they are, lol. Anybody who is not on that list and who brushes up against the idea of critiquing my life choices gets very clearly rebuffed, BEFORE they cross the line, and that's that. I'd suggest working on putting out a mind-your-own-business vibe. Something is wrong in your life that (multiple) people give you this sort of attitude. Maybe talk to a therapist for ideas/insights on better ways to respond that will shut this sort of thing down, and perhaps a therapist can help you work on your "vibe", too.

You are 100% right in your instincts. Get involved, get him to the doctor!

I was thinking Hawaii the whole time I was reading your post . . . It'd be great! Alternate ideas: + Costa Rica + New Zealand

Having been the primary caretaker for my mom with Alzheimer's . . . I would urge you to: 1) Stop over with a tray of cookies or similar . . . and have a heart to heart with the husband, bring a list of phone numbers for your local Council on Aging, etc, etc. Call your own family doctor and ask for a list of referrals to resources for this person. (And DR office surely deals with these issues.) Google up some resources. Make some calls. Make a list. Give him the list, and tell him you're worried, and that he needs to get help, and ask if they have children who they can talk to about resources? Then, keep an eye on things over a couple weeks. See if they're improving. Stop back over after a week or so, and ask him if any of the resources were helpful . . . 2) If (1) is rejected and/or you see things are not improving, call Adult Protective Services. (I'd allow a week or so to wait for improvements even if he rejects your outreach at first . . . Just your contact might inspire him, even if he SEEMS unresponsive. 3) And, of course, if you have any way of figuring out the identity of any decent adult children, contact them immediately! He needs help, and he clearly isn't getting it. If he won't get it on his own, hopefully APS will make it happen. (((hugs)))

Sure, you can absolutely DIY high school. You just have to be willing to put in a lot of effort and time, and if you aren't already competent to teach the needed subjects, you'll need to self-educate ahead of time. I've self-taught plenty of high school courses -- chem, bio, lit, writing, etc . . . We've only used outsourcing for a handful of courses . . . We make the decisions course by course, year by year, kid by kid. We're not financially constrained on this issue, so we just choose which is best each year. Next year, for my dd's 9th grade, I don't plan to outsource any courses at the moment (but that might change if I find something interesting to outsource). However, we did outsource AP Env Sci for this year, her 8th grade year. (She's advanced.) We outsourced it because I was familiar with the class/teacher and knew it to be excellent. We DIY'ed everything else this year. I'll be teaching honors biology next year. I've done it once before with my older kids. The first time, I probably put 6-8 hr/wk into preparing for and teaching the course. This time, it'll just be maybe 3-5 hr/wk since I'm re-using the tests/etc and I've relatively recently read the book and created my answer keys/etc. And, FTR, I have both undergrad and masters level degrees in the biological sciences, so reading the current text and preparing the exam keys, etc was/is easy for me since it's all stuff I know well, just needed to refresh my memory. If you weren't already a competent biologist, you'd need a *lot* more time to teach this course. Same goes for math, chemistry, physics, etc. Also, it sort of depends on which subjects you are strong in, etc. My kids study Spanish, and I have to outsource a lot of that. Dd14 is wrapping up the third and last "high school" level Spanish course we use this year . . . (Galore Park So You Really Want to Learn Spanish) . . . So, for the rest of high school, I'll need to come up with something good for her . . . She could do some more self-study and CLEP and be done with it . . . But if she wants to study it at a higher level (literature, etc.), she'll need a real teacher . . . and if I find one, I'll sign her up! Why not full time brick and mortar high school? Uh, because with outsourcing I can hand pick teachers/courses/etc, and I can mix and match self-taught, out-sourced, and mom-taught courses. NOT that way with regular high school. At all.

First half = Algebra 1. Second half = Algebra 2. Intermediate Algebra Book = Algebra 3 (topics not covered in traditional high school or college Algebra)

Yup. It happens every time I declutter! I think one of the highest costs of cluster and disorganization is buying duplicate items. That's my argument against keeping all this extra crap -- the back up stuff. . . The old BBQ tools in case your new ones break and you, for some unforeseen reason, are so broke you can't buy a new set. . . Same goes for salad spinners, etc, etc, etc. I think the cost of the clutter (via not being able to FIND the stuff you own) is higher than the cost of occasionally buying a replacement for something you *could* have had a back up for . . . Dh doesn't get it, but fortunately, even though his impulse is to keep, keep . . . he's pretty easy going and let's me get rid of stuff *if* I insist. I've learned to insist more often . . .

When I was in my first semester of college, I was far from home, and I'd gone to that school with my high school boyfriend, but we broke up within a couple months (after, naturally, having been together 24/7 those first critical weeks of college). So, i was pretty lonely. I made a policy of "never say no" (within reason, obviously). When the girls on my hall wanted to go to frat parties on Friday, I went. When someone asked me to go to a football game, I went. Etc. Etc. These were things I had no natural interest in. (One night of frat parties and one college ball game were enough for me, lol.) Anyway, I say this to suggest that the earlier poster who suggested that your dd might be well served to just go along to activities that aren't really her fave. Going once is not a life sentence of football or frat parties. You just try out new things, new people, etc . . . It gets you out of the aloneness and that mental shift helps so much. Soon enough, I "found my people" and had plenty of friends. (Who, like me, had no interest in frat parties or football, lol.)

ACA Exchange. It's still there, for now.

I made sure it was always public knowledge. Mom made an oopsie by marrying an oopsie. It lasted 3 months. A bit later, Mom married a keeper -- that'd be Dad. Yay! Sometimes people, even your brilliant mom, make bad decisions. Sometimes they're fortunate enough to be able to un-do them without a lot of damage to anyone. Yay! I intentionally mentioned it casually at least once a year for my entire kids' lives. Sometimes it was a 30 second conversation, sometimes 5 minutes. It was always normal, if unfortunate and a little embarrassing. Works for me.

I wouldn't ask for a refund. BUT, perhaps I'd ask her if, given the crazy nature of the day and abbreviated photo shoot, maybe she could come back and take some nice new-born + mom photos sometime in the coming weeks, at your mutual convenience? That would cost her very little, and it'd be really nice for you. My guess is that she'd be happy to do that. Being able to schedule it at your mutual convenience would make it pretty painless for her, too.

FWIW, as the owner and business manager of a vet hospital . . . I've watched this market with curiosity for over a decade . . . Companies come and go . . . Every couple years there is a new company, who some vets think will be *the one* . . . Without fail, within a couple years of getting popular, everyone hates the new company . . . because, without fail, rates go up and up, older and sicker pets lose coverage, expensive and surprising ailments are excluded because they are genetically related (as are MANY/most conditions), conditions are considered 'preexisting conditions' and so not covered . . . even when a pet has been on the same company for many years (because, for instance, they consider it a new policy at each yearly renewal, so the cancer that was diagnosed 3 months before year end is not covered on next year's policy . . . companies become more and more difficult to get to process a claim -- for owner and for vets . . . It seems obvious to me that, on average, owners would be MUCH MUCH better served by simply saving $x/mo in a dedicated pet savings account. Most of these policies are 50-100/mo in premiums, and those don't cover routine matters such as wellness care, dentistry, etc. Most families would be able to provide all the care they wanted if they simply saved that 50-100/mo in a medical emergency account . . . especially if they added another 200-500/yr that they'd have been paying in copays, deductibles, and wellness care . . . Every year or two, the new and popular pet insurance company makes a hard sell to us, as a vet hospital, to promote their product. I take a bit of time to research them . . . and then decide, OK, if it's really this good, it'll be even better and a *proven* product in 2-4 years . . . So I'll wait a bit before asking our clients to consider this . . . NOT ONE TIME has the "big new great" company still had a good reputation once it had been in business for a couple years. Haven't marketed insurance to our clients yet . . . and I doubt I will, ever. I can see the rationale for wanting insurance . . . I love our family's dental insurance, so I get it . . . It's good for the businesses as their clients then are more willing to follow through with expensive recommended care . . . and good for the clients to have predictable expenses . . . and good for the pets if they get needed care . . . BUT, so far, no insurance company has been able to reliably offer a good product at a reasonable price. (Those who did went out of business or changed their offerings for the worse within a few short years.) That's my 2c. I think it's a scam, in general, and I'd avoid it.

Whether he has c.diff or another thing, I *highly* recommend getting him on very good probiotics AND prebiotics ASAP. Getting the right combination -- I threw the whole medicine cabinet of supplements at him -- was a MIRACLE for my healthy teen son who'd struggled for a year with GI distress after a bad GI illness and then a couple unrelated courses of antibiotics. FINALLY got better. It's not gonna' hurt him and may well make him so much more comfortable.

FWIW, I use Barlean's flax seed oil as a substitute for half the olive oil in all my cold salad dressings, etc. It's delicious, and I've never had a negative reaction from anyone, ever, and I do this all the time. It's a great way to get a lot of flax seed oil into the whole family. We don't notice any flavor differences in salads, etc. when I use it. I am sure I could substitute it for 100% of the olive oil, but for some reason, I've never tried it. Also, Sam's and Costco sell good quality wild caught fish, frozen, in single serving size packets, at reasonable prices. After discovering this, we've managed to eat a *lot* more fish around our house, since we no longer have to plan to shop for it the same day we fix it. It's always in the freezer! Wild caught salmon is a *great* source for good fats. We also buy wild-caught tuna, mahimahi, and various other fishes, too.